Post by Holden Orson on Oct 31, 2015 4:48:38 GMT -5
I've done a lot of things in my career. But when I look back on my UGWC career, it's depressing. I came in under a guise of Holden Orson. What many people thought was just a clever disguise turned out to be a deep, unresolved part of my mentally unstable psyche that seemed to handicap me from achieving any real success.
And I'm still here!
I expected 2015 to be the year of The Mainstreamer. When it started, I teamed up with Dave Rydell to win a Coop title that I was unable to successfully defend.
I'm pretty sure he hates you now too, just like everyone else.
Since then, I've lost far more matches than I've won. I've pushed my best friend into a tail spin because of my inability to stay on the same page with him.
I'm pretty sure you're the only one who cares about Ichabod anyway.
I failed in my attempts to do anything to the Syndicate. If it weren't from the ego that they all got from their own success, they'd still be running the place.
I think everyone of them beat you in some way or another. Good job stepping stone!
Larry meanwhile leapfrogged me and has found success with Donovan Hastings. He's already won a singles title and now has a real chance to earn his way into the main event at Horizons. He found that what he needed to spring board his own success was dump me.
The worst mentor in the world.
2015 has turned into is the most humbling experience of my professional life. The world was exposed to how weak I am in so many ways.
It's really a shame.
I couldn't beat Vain.
I couldn't help Larry.
I couldn't make the Glorious Bastards work.
I couldn't handle being openly gay in the spotlight.
I couldn't be a real friend to Ichabod.
I couldn't beat the Syndicate.
I couldn't reach the level of success that I'm really capable of.
I couldn't really get over my infatuation with Alan Wallace.
I couldn't really accept myself for who I am.
When you list it out like that, even I feel bad.
It's almost pathetic to think I can take on Jet Somers and Chaos. Jet's a billion time UGWC champion in one fashion or another and Chaos is truly the greatest Chaos Champion we've ever seen.
I still bothers me that his name is Chaos and the title... nevermind. For a voice in your head I'm too opinionated.
For some reason or another, Klaus vonKnorre has stuck by me as a friend and as a partner. This is a man who won his first UGWC World Championship this year until he ran into an unstoppable force named Alan Wallace.
You just can't stop talking about Vain.
As it turns out, Someone believes in me. I don't know why, but I'm glad he does. I've been a lone wolf for a long time with little support. My pathetic fall from grace has been well publicized. I'm not going to ever be the same man who won the HSW and Netlink World titles. That man was awesome, but that man died in a church in Kansas.
I killed him!
Trying to be that man is what's made me a failure as a competitor, a friend, and a mentor. I've been given another chance at glory at Battleground. To find success, I'll have to embrace who I am, without forgetting who I was. I'll have to change.
Yawn.
Fuck you Holden.
The Mainstreamer stands outside a set of double doors with his hands in his jacket pocket.
The Mainstreamer: Why are we in New York again, Waldo?
Waldo: Well boss, your Cooperative-
The Mainstreamer: United in Combat.
Waldo: Right, Your United in Combat Title shot has turned into a weird type of personal situation.
The Mainstreamer raises an eyebrow.
Waldo: Like fourth Wall personal.
The Mainstreamer: What do you mean by fourth wall?
Waldo: It's an acting term. It's when you acknowledge the audience and show that you're part of the show.
The Mainstreamer: Okay... but I don't...
Waldo: Well, it turned really fucking weird. Chaos went looking for your because Rob put your bio in the retirement section.
The Mainstreamer: Rob? As in Travis Roberts.
Waldo: No. Well... sort of. Rob is a British guy-
The Mainstreamer: My bio? What the hell are you talking about?
Waldo: On the proboard site.
The Mainstreamer: Proboards?
Waldo rubs his temples.
Waldo: This is hard to explain.
The Mainstreamer tries to shrug off the situation.
The Mainstreamer: So who am I here to meet.
Waldo: The handlers.
The Mainstreamer: The what?
Waldo: Thomas, Brandon, Wayne and Chad. The Handlers.
The Mainstreamer: And they are?
Waldo: They're the handlers. I'll explain inside.
The Mainstreamer looks at the closed door.
The Mainstreamer: Is this going to be some sort of parody thing?
Waldo: Probably.
The Mainstreamer shrugs.
The Mainstreamer: I guess.
The Mainstreamer opens the door to see the four men sitting at a table. Two of the men are playing some sort of card game. Another man is surrounded by empty beer bottles and the fourth is typing away furiously on a laptop. All four men seem to be oblivious to Waldo and The Mainstreamer. The man surrounded by the beer bottles belches as they enter the room.
Chad: Boobs.
Waldo shakes his head.
Waldo: That's Chad.
The Mainstreamer: Chad, like Chadwick? As in Chaos?
Waldo nods his head.
Waldo: I'm sure he thought long and hard to come up with the name and the Druken Buzzsaw gimmick.
The Mainstreamer: So you're saying this is the man behind Chaos?
Waldo: Amongst others.
The Mainstreamer: Who else?
Waldo lowers his head and shakes it.
Waldo: Trust me you don't want to know.
The Mainstreamer: Is he okay? He seems to have gotten really drunk, and it's a Thursday.
Waldo puts a reassuring hand on The Mainstreamer's shoulder.
Waldo: Trust me, he's fine. He drinks like a champion. He works a full time job and is a good husband and a father. But when the kids are asleep and his job is done, he fucking drinks.
The Mainstreamer: But he's so drunk...
Chad pops open another beer and begins to drink.
Waldo: Just be glad he's wrote his roleplay already.
The Mainstreamer: His what?
Before Waldo can respond, the man on the laptop screams.
Wayne: Fuck me!
Waldo and The Mainstreamer wheel around to the man typing away on his laptop.
Wayne: This shit won't fucking format correctly! The font just isn't right!
The Mainstreamer looks over at Waldo.
The Mainstreamer: What's his deal.
Waldo: That's Wayne, he's kind of a perfectionist. He's probably typing out a roleplay, or a facebook post or something.
The Mainstreamer: Is this the Wayne that Klaus is always talking about.
Waldo nods.
Waldo: Yeah. He's very into his characters, and Klaus is basically an extension of himself.
The Mainstreamer watches as Wayne types away furiously on the keyboard.
The Mainstreamer: That makes sense.
The two men playing the card game
Thomas: Armageddon.
Brandon: Of course.
Thomas: That's Oloro for you.
The Mainstreamer and Waldo walk towards the two dorks playing the card game.
The Mainstreamer: What the hell are they doing.
Waldo: Playing Magic the Gathering.
The Mainstreamer: Aren't they in their fucking thirties?
Waldo: It's sad.
The Mainstreamer: Wait... fuck, one of these two dorks is me?
Waldo points at the bigger one with the goatee.
Waldo: Yeah that one, Thomas.
The Mainstreamer peers closely at Thomas. All these men still seem unaware of Waldo and The Mainstreamer being in the room.
The Mainstreamer: He needs to shave.
Waldo: He needs a haircut too.
The Mainstreamer: Tell me more about this guy.
Waldo: Well, he's the guy behind you, Larry, and was behind Wafer.
The Mainstreamer pulls up a chair and studies the man. Thomas and Brandon have started shuffling up their cards and look over at the other two.
Brandon: You guys want to learn to play?
Wayne: No, you nerds.
Chad: Boobs.
Thomas and Brandon shrug and pull out more Magic cards and seem to play with different decks.
Waldo: These two, all they seem to talk about is this damn card game. Ask Ad or Brit, it's all they talk about it seems.
The Mainstreamer: Ad? Brit?
Waldo: Another time.
The Mainstreamer: So I want to know more about this Thomas guy. If he's the one behind me, Wafer, and Larry, what the hell was he doing when I was in Kansas.
Waldo: Well, when he was away from the hobby, you were away from the business. It's how this whole thing works.
The Mainstreamer: So this is the guy that is the responsible for the year I've had?
Waldo: Yes.
The Mainstreamer: Fuck this guy then, I've had a pretty lack luster year.
Waldo: He's also responsible for the year Larry's had.
The Mainstreamer looks back at him.
Waldo: While he's been able to take Larry to a new place, he's always cared about you. He basically used Wafer as a sacrifice to take you to the heights you reached in HSW and Netlink. If it weren't for the eight years he took off, you'd probably not be having the hard time you're having now. I think he's just been struggling to find where you belong here in UWGC.
The Mainstreamer: This is fucking trippy.
Brandon and Thomas have started a new game.
The Mainstreamer: Who's this guy?
Waldo: That's Brandon. Thomas and Brandon are pretty close. They've been friends for almost 20 years.
The Mainstreamer: And still playing fucking card games.
Waldo laughs.
The Mainstreamer: Why does he smell like chicken?
Waldo: He runs a restaurant. He always smells like chicken.
The Mainstreamer: So I assume this is Jet Somers?
Waldo: Yes.
The Mainstreamer: How has the Mainstreamer been hanging out with Jet Somers for 20 years?
Waldo: Brandon is also Ichabod.
The Mainstreamer looks over to Waldo in surprise.
The Mainstreamer: Really.
Waldo nods.
Chad: BOOOBS!!
The Mainstreamer looks over at Chad.
Waldo: That guys loves beer and boobs.
The Mainstreamer: He does.
The Mainstreamer stands up and walks around the room.
The Mainstreamer: So these are the guys that control this match. A perfectionist, a beer drinking boob lover, and two card playing nerds?
Waldo nods.
The Mainstreamer: It's like Bizzaro World. But I don't really get the point of all this.
Waldo: Well boss, you really got to understand this room to really get what's going on here. With a Cooperative... United in Combat title match that has had a small amount of build up, you really have to understand this room to understand how truly epic the match could really be.
Waldo motions over to Chad.
Waldo: Chad here wrote a piece about you and you're sudden drop off the face of the Earth. After losing to Vain and basically falling off the face of UGWC, Thomas there started to focus on Larry. You ever notice how rare it is that you and Larry get booked in the same card?
The Mainstreamer nods.
Waldo: Well, he took advantage of this. Then Wayne here wrote a piece that actually starred himself with Klaus being the voice in his head. He got personal with all four of these guys. He actually rubbed Chad there the wrong way, but I think they've worked it out.
The Mainstreamer: What about these two.
Waldo: Well after a night at the restaurant, it seems that Brandon here just came in and made it look like Wayne was talking to himself.
The Mainstreamer: Well that's fucking lazy.
Waldo: To be fair, Thomas is writing this really weird piece where I explain the fourth wall aspect of the match.
The Mainstreamer: I don't want to think about the dynamics there, it'll make my head hurt.
Waldo: It'll truly be the most unique set of role-plays I think UGWC will ever see. And it'll be very difficult to judge, I'm sure.
The Mainstreamer: Judge?
Waldo: Yeah the other writers take what they right and grade them.
The Mainstreamer: Hmm. Odd.
Waldo: In a way, these four meeting in this room is kind of a metaphor how surreal this whole match is.
The Mainstreamer: Well, Thomas must be brewing something. I just went through this little acceptance stage earlier in the week. I assume he's the one behind that?
Waldo nods.
Waldo: He's behind everything you do. Although, I gotta to point out, he's had you “accept” yourself a couple times now.
The Mainstreamer: Yeah, but this time-
Waldo: Yeah, yeah. This time is different. The Cooperative titles are on the line. Did he make Holden talk to you some more?
The Mainstreamer: He did actually.
Waldo: Well, if you really want to inspire this guy, go out there and kick some ass for once.
The Mainstreamer: I do need something to fight for.
Waldo: Look, if you're truly ready to be taken seriously again, you got to inspire this guy. He's been seeing you as a chore ever since your saga with Vain.
Wayne: Fuck you, Chad!
Thomas: Yeah, fuck you Chad!
Brandon: Fuck Chad!
Chad: Ya'll can shut the hell up!
All four men begin laughing.
The Mainstreamer: Well it seems to me he wrote himself in a corner. Where the fuck am I supposed to go after losing to Vain three times. Luckily Wayne over there has him at least on the map with />V<\.
Waldo shakes his head.
Waldo: You realize that only you and Klaus like that little symbol you guys use as your Team name. It's fucking hard to type.
The Mainstreamer: I think it's awesome.
Waldo: Sure, boss. What do you think we should do to inspire Thomas?
The Mainstreamer: Well, if Thomas feels like I'm a chore, I think I know why.
Waldo nods.
The Mainstreamer: And you said the chicken guy who writes for Jet also writes for Ichabod?
Waldo nods again.
The Mainstreamer: Well let's go piss them off.
Waldo and The Mainstreamer exit the room.
Chad: Boobs.
The Mainstreamer: You sure this is Klaus' bike?
Waldo: Yes, boss.
The Mainstreamer sits on Klaus's bike and begins to wheel it backwards away from the other two it's parked next to. After getting it a comfortable distance from the others, he drops the kick stand and walks back to Waldo.
The Mainstreamer: So these are these are the ones that belong to Chaos and Jet?
Waldo: Yes, boss.
The Mainstreamer: And doing what we're about to do will inspire Thomas, and pis of Jet and Chaos?
Waldo nods.
The Mainstreamer: Fucking A. Let's do it.
The Mainstreamer kicks one bike over and the walks to the other one and slams in on top of the first. He retrieves a can of gasoline from the car he rented and begins to douse the bikes in gasoline.
The Mainstreamer: Jet, Chaos... I get it. I've basically fallen from grace since my failed attempts to become the UGWC Champion. So I get what you two have tried to do. You tried to humiliate me and you two tried to make me look like a washed up nobody past his prime.
As the can empties, The Mainstreamer lights a match and tosses it on the gasoline drenched bikes and watches at they become engulfed in flames.
The Mainstreamer: I don't quite understand why this match turned into some sort of odd, fourth wall debauchery. I just met Chad, Thomas, Wayne, and Brandon. I'm not that concerned with them to be perfectly honest. What I'm worried about it getting my career back on track.
The Mainstreamer shields his face from the flames and takes a step back.
The Mainstreamer: Maybe I deserve it. I haven't truly had any closure in my failure. Larry's fucking left me, I still haven't really handled Holden Orson plaguing me as the voice in my head, and as some of said, I've peaked with out any sort of pay off.
Waldo moves behind the Mainstreamer, trying to avoid the heat of the flames.
The Mainstreamer: So really, what left do I have to do but get mean. I tried to be the good guy of this federation, and I failed. Miserably. I've never done well being the good guy.
The flames bounce off of The Mainstreamer's face as he smiles.
The Mainstreamer: I'm not going to be this federation's whipping boy anymore. I'm not going to smile my way down the ramp and slap hands with the fans. I'm not going to shake off all this bullshit anymore. When you fuck with me, I'll strip away apart of your identity. I'll fucking do everything I can to ruin you life.
The Mainstreamer scowls.
The Mainstreamer: You better be ready for a real fucking fight at Battleground. Win or lose, I plan on showing up to make a statement. I've already lost my godson, my pride, and my reputation. I got nothing to lose anymore.
The Mainstreamer looks at the bikes once more.
The Mainstreamer: But you two... you two have a lot to lose. And you have a lot for me to take away from you. Since you guys want to ride around like some reject Hell's Angels and play fucking games in strip clubs, I'll fuck it up. At Battleground, Klaus and I will take the United in Combat titles from the two most undeserving Champions in the history of the UGWC.
The Mainstreamer takes a last look at the burning bikes before walking Waldo back to the rental car.
Wayne: Dude, did you just turn Mainstreamer heel?
Thomas: Yeah.
Wayne: Sweet.
And I'm still here!
I expected 2015 to be the year of The Mainstreamer. When it started, I teamed up with Dave Rydell to win a Coop title that I was unable to successfully defend.
I'm pretty sure he hates you now too, just like everyone else.
Since then, I've lost far more matches than I've won. I've pushed my best friend into a tail spin because of my inability to stay on the same page with him.
I'm pretty sure you're the only one who cares about Ichabod anyway.
I failed in my attempts to do anything to the Syndicate. If it weren't from the ego that they all got from their own success, they'd still be running the place.
I think everyone of them beat you in some way or another. Good job stepping stone!
Larry meanwhile leapfrogged me and has found success with Donovan Hastings. He's already won a singles title and now has a real chance to earn his way into the main event at Horizons. He found that what he needed to spring board his own success was dump me.
The worst mentor in the world.
2015 has turned into is the most humbling experience of my professional life. The world was exposed to how weak I am in so many ways.
It's really a shame.
I couldn't beat Vain.
I couldn't help Larry.
I couldn't make the Glorious Bastards work.
I couldn't handle being openly gay in the spotlight.
I couldn't be a real friend to Ichabod.
I couldn't beat the Syndicate.
I couldn't reach the level of success that I'm really capable of.
I couldn't really get over my infatuation with Alan Wallace.
I couldn't really accept myself for who I am.
When you list it out like that, even I feel bad.
It's almost pathetic to think I can take on Jet Somers and Chaos. Jet's a billion time UGWC champion in one fashion or another and Chaos is truly the greatest Chaos Champion we've ever seen.
I still bothers me that his name is Chaos and the title... nevermind. For a voice in your head I'm too opinionated.
For some reason or another, Klaus vonKnorre has stuck by me as a friend and as a partner. This is a man who won his first UGWC World Championship this year until he ran into an unstoppable force named Alan Wallace.
You just can't stop talking about Vain.
As it turns out, Someone believes in me. I don't know why, but I'm glad he does. I've been a lone wolf for a long time with little support. My pathetic fall from grace has been well publicized. I'm not going to ever be the same man who won the HSW and Netlink World titles. That man was awesome, but that man died in a church in Kansas.
I killed him!
Trying to be that man is what's made me a failure as a competitor, a friend, and a mentor. I've been given another chance at glory at Battleground. To find success, I'll have to embrace who I am, without forgetting who I was. I'll have to change.
Yawn.
Fuck you Holden.
The Mainstreamer stands outside a set of double doors with his hands in his jacket pocket.
The Mainstreamer: Why are we in New York again, Waldo?
Waldo: Well boss, your Cooperative-
The Mainstreamer: United in Combat.
Waldo: Right, Your United in Combat Title shot has turned into a weird type of personal situation.
The Mainstreamer raises an eyebrow.
Waldo: Like fourth Wall personal.
The Mainstreamer: What do you mean by fourth wall?
Waldo: It's an acting term. It's when you acknowledge the audience and show that you're part of the show.
The Mainstreamer: Okay... but I don't...
Waldo: Well, it turned really fucking weird. Chaos went looking for your because Rob put your bio in the retirement section.
The Mainstreamer: Rob? As in Travis Roberts.
Waldo: No. Well... sort of. Rob is a British guy-
The Mainstreamer: My bio? What the hell are you talking about?
Waldo: On the proboard site.
The Mainstreamer: Proboards?
Waldo rubs his temples.
Waldo: This is hard to explain.
The Mainstreamer tries to shrug off the situation.
The Mainstreamer: So who am I here to meet.
Waldo: The handlers.
The Mainstreamer: The what?
Waldo: Thomas, Brandon, Wayne and Chad. The Handlers.
The Mainstreamer: And they are?
Waldo: They're the handlers. I'll explain inside.
The Mainstreamer looks at the closed door.
The Mainstreamer: Is this going to be some sort of parody thing?
Waldo: Probably.
The Mainstreamer shrugs.
The Mainstreamer: I guess.
The Mainstreamer opens the door to see the four men sitting at a table. Two of the men are playing some sort of card game. Another man is surrounded by empty beer bottles and the fourth is typing away furiously on a laptop. All four men seem to be oblivious to Waldo and The Mainstreamer. The man surrounded by the beer bottles belches as they enter the room.
Chad: Boobs.
Waldo shakes his head.
Waldo: That's Chad.
The Mainstreamer: Chad, like Chadwick? As in Chaos?
Waldo nods his head.
Waldo: I'm sure he thought long and hard to come up with the name and the Druken Buzzsaw gimmick.
The Mainstreamer: So you're saying this is the man behind Chaos?
Waldo: Amongst others.
The Mainstreamer: Who else?
Waldo lowers his head and shakes it.
Waldo: Trust me you don't want to know.
The Mainstreamer: Is he okay? He seems to have gotten really drunk, and it's a Thursday.
Waldo puts a reassuring hand on The Mainstreamer's shoulder.
Waldo: Trust me, he's fine. He drinks like a champion. He works a full time job and is a good husband and a father. But when the kids are asleep and his job is done, he fucking drinks.
The Mainstreamer: But he's so drunk...
Chad pops open another beer and begins to drink.
Waldo: Just be glad he's wrote his roleplay already.
The Mainstreamer: His what?
Before Waldo can respond, the man on the laptop screams.
Wayne: Fuck me!
Waldo and The Mainstreamer wheel around to the man typing away on his laptop.
Wayne: This shit won't fucking format correctly! The font just isn't right!
The Mainstreamer looks over at Waldo.
The Mainstreamer: What's his deal.
Waldo: That's Wayne, he's kind of a perfectionist. He's probably typing out a roleplay, or a facebook post or something.
The Mainstreamer: Is this the Wayne that Klaus is always talking about.
Waldo nods.
Waldo: Yeah. He's very into his characters, and Klaus is basically an extension of himself.
The Mainstreamer watches as Wayne types away furiously on the keyboard.
The Mainstreamer: That makes sense.
The two men playing the card game
Thomas: Armageddon.
Brandon: Of course.
Thomas: That's Oloro for you.
The Mainstreamer and Waldo walk towards the two dorks playing the card game.
The Mainstreamer: What the hell are they doing.
Waldo: Playing Magic the Gathering.
The Mainstreamer: Aren't they in their fucking thirties?
Waldo: It's sad.
The Mainstreamer: Wait... fuck, one of these two dorks is me?
Waldo points at the bigger one with the goatee.
Waldo: Yeah that one, Thomas.
The Mainstreamer peers closely at Thomas. All these men still seem unaware of Waldo and The Mainstreamer being in the room.
The Mainstreamer: He needs to shave.
Waldo: He needs a haircut too.
The Mainstreamer: Tell me more about this guy.
Waldo: Well, he's the guy behind you, Larry, and was behind Wafer.
The Mainstreamer pulls up a chair and studies the man. Thomas and Brandon have started shuffling up their cards and look over at the other two.
Brandon: You guys want to learn to play?
Wayne: No, you nerds.
Chad: Boobs.
Thomas and Brandon shrug and pull out more Magic cards and seem to play with different decks.
Waldo: These two, all they seem to talk about is this damn card game. Ask Ad or Brit, it's all they talk about it seems.
The Mainstreamer: Ad? Brit?
Waldo: Another time.
The Mainstreamer: So I want to know more about this Thomas guy. If he's the one behind me, Wafer, and Larry, what the hell was he doing when I was in Kansas.
Waldo: Well, when he was away from the hobby, you were away from the business. It's how this whole thing works.
The Mainstreamer: So this is the guy that is the responsible for the year I've had?
Waldo: Yes.
The Mainstreamer: Fuck this guy then, I've had a pretty lack luster year.
Waldo: He's also responsible for the year Larry's had.
The Mainstreamer looks back at him.
Waldo: While he's been able to take Larry to a new place, he's always cared about you. He basically used Wafer as a sacrifice to take you to the heights you reached in HSW and Netlink. If it weren't for the eight years he took off, you'd probably not be having the hard time you're having now. I think he's just been struggling to find where you belong here in UWGC.
The Mainstreamer: This is fucking trippy.
Brandon and Thomas have started a new game.
The Mainstreamer: Who's this guy?
Waldo: That's Brandon. Thomas and Brandon are pretty close. They've been friends for almost 20 years.
The Mainstreamer: And still playing fucking card games.
Waldo laughs.
The Mainstreamer: Why does he smell like chicken?
Waldo: He runs a restaurant. He always smells like chicken.
The Mainstreamer: So I assume this is Jet Somers?
Waldo: Yes.
The Mainstreamer: How has the Mainstreamer been hanging out with Jet Somers for 20 years?
Waldo: Brandon is also Ichabod.
The Mainstreamer looks over to Waldo in surprise.
The Mainstreamer: Really.
Waldo nods.
Chad: BOOOBS!!
The Mainstreamer looks over at Chad.
Waldo: That guys loves beer and boobs.
The Mainstreamer: He does.
The Mainstreamer stands up and walks around the room.
The Mainstreamer: So these are the guys that control this match. A perfectionist, a beer drinking boob lover, and two card playing nerds?
Waldo nods.
The Mainstreamer: It's like Bizzaro World. But I don't really get the point of all this.
Waldo: Well boss, you really got to understand this room to really get what's going on here. With a Cooperative... United in Combat title match that has had a small amount of build up, you really have to understand this room to understand how truly epic the match could really be.
Waldo motions over to Chad.
Waldo: Chad here wrote a piece about you and you're sudden drop off the face of the Earth. After losing to Vain and basically falling off the face of UGWC, Thomas there started to focus on Larry. You ever notice how rare it is that you and Larry get booked in the same card?
The Mainstreamer nods.
Waldo: Well, he took advantage of this. Then Wayne here wrote a piece that actually starred himself with Klaus being the voice in his head. He got personal with all four of these guys. He actually rubbed Chad there the wrong way, but I think they've worked it out.
The Mainstreamer: What about these two.
Waldo: Well after a night at the restaurant, it seems that Brandon here just came in and made it look like Wayne was talking to himself.
The Mainstreamer: Well that's fucking lazy.
Waldo: To be fair, Thomas is writing this really weird piece where I explain the fourth wall aspect of the match.
The Mainstreamer: I don't want to think about the dynamics there, it'll make my head hurt.
Waldo: It'll truly be the most unique set of role-plays I think UGWC will ever see. And it'll be very difficult to judge, I'm sure.
The Mainstreamer: Judge?
Waldo: Yeah the other writers take what they right and grade them.
The Mainstreamer: Hmm. Odd.
Waldo: In a way, these four meeting in this room is kind of a metaphor how surreal this whole match is.
The Mainstreamer: Well, Thomas must be brewing something. I just went through this little acceptance stage earlier in the week. I assume he's the one behind that?
Waldo nods.
Waldo: He's behind everything you do. Although, I gotta to point out, he's had you “accept” yourself a couple times now.
The Mainstreamer: Yeah, but this time-
Waldo: Yeah, yeah. This time is different. The Cooperative titles are on the line. Did he make Holden talk to you some more?
The Mainstreamer: He did actually.
Waldo: Well, if you really want to inspire this guy, go out there and kick some ass for once.
The Mainstreamer: I do need something to fight for.
Waldo: Look, if you're truly ready to be taken seriously again, you got to inspire this guy. He's been seeing you as a chore ever since your saga with Vain.
Wayne: Fuck you, Chad!
Thomas: Yeah, fuck you Chad!
Brandon: Fuck Chad!
Chad: Ya'll can shut the hell up!
All four men begin laughing.
The Mainstreamer: Well it seems to me he wrote himself in a corner. Where the fuck am I supposed to go after losing to Vain three times. Luckily Wayne over there has him at least on the map with />V<\.
Waldo shakes his head.
Waldo: You realize that only you and Klaus like that little symbol you guys use as your Team name. It's fucking hard to type.
The Mainstreamer: I think it's awesome.
Waldo: Sure, boss. What do you think we should do to inspire Thomas?
The Mainstreamer: Well, if Thomas feels like I'm a chore, I think I know why.
Waldo nods.
The Mainstreamer: And you said the chicken guy who writes for Jet also writes for Ichabod?
Waldo nods again.
The Mainstreamer: Well let's go piss them off.
Waldo and The Mainstreamer exit the room.
Chad: Boobs.
The Mainstreamer: You sure this is Klaus' bike?
Waldo: Yes, boss.
The Mainstreamer sits on Klaus's bike and begins to wheel it backwards away from the other two it's parked next to. After getting it a comfortable distance from the others, he drops the kick stand and walks back to Waldo.
The Mainstreamer: So these are these are the ones that belong to Chaos and Jet?
Waldo: Yes, boss.
The Mainstreamer: And doing what we're about to do will inspire Thomas, and pis of Jet and Chaos?
Waldo nods.
The Mainstreamer: Fucking A. Let's do it.
The Mainstreamer kicks one bike over and the walks to the other one and slams in on top of the first. He retrieves a can of gasoline from the car he rented and begins to douse the bikes in gasoline.
The Mainstreamer: Jet, Chaos... I get it. I've basically fallen from grace since my failed attempts to become the UGWC Champion. So I get what you two have tried to do. You tried to humiliate me and you two tried to make me look like a washed up nobody past his prime.
As the can empties, The Mainstreamer lights a match and tosses it on the gasoline drenched bikes and watches at they become engulfed in flames.
The Mainstreamer: I don't quite understand why this match turned into some sort of odd, fourth wall debauchery. I just met Chad, Thomas, Wayne, and Brandon. I'm not that concerned with them to be perfectly honest. What I'm worried about it getting my career back on track.
The Mainstreamer shields his face from the flames and takes a step back.
The Mainstreamer: Maybe I deserve it. I haven't truly had any closure in my failure. Larry's fucking left me, I still haven't really handled Holden Orson plaguing me as the voice in my head, and as some of said, I've peaked with out any sort of pay off.
Waldo moves behind the Mainstreamer, trying to avoid the heat of the flames.
The Mainstreamer: So really, what left do I have to do but get mean. I tried to be the good guy of this federation, and I failed. Miserably. I've never done well being the good guy.
The flames bounce off of The Mainstreamer's face as he smiles.
The Mainstreamer: I'm not going to be this federation's whipping boy anymore. I'm not going to smile my way down the ramp and slap hands with the fans. I'm not going to shake off all this bullshit anymore. When you fuck with me, I'll strip away apart of your identity. I'll fucking do everything I can to ruin you life.
The Mainstreamer scowls.
The Mainstreamer: You better be ready for a real fucking fight at Battleground. Win or lose, I plan on showing up to make a statement. I've already lost my godson, my pride, and my reputation. I got nothing to lose anymore.
The Mainstreamer looks at the bikes once more.
The Mainstreamer: But you two... you two have a lot to lose. And you have a lot for me to take away from you. Since you guys want to ride around like some reject Hell's Angels and play fucking games in strip clubs, I'll fuck it up. At Battleground, Klaus and I will take the United in Combat titles from the two most undeserving Champions in the history of the UGWC.
The Mainstreamer takes a last look at the burning bikes before walking Waldo back to the rental car.
Wayne: Dude, did you just turn Mainstreamer heel?
Thomas: Yeah.
Wayne: Sweet.
2013, '18, '23 
2013 
