Post by T-Robosaurus Rex on Oct 31, 2015 8:11:57 GMT -5
The sun beats down on the streets of Johannesburg, the largest city in South Africa, the people bustle in the streets as they get on with the busy duties of their lives. We are across the street from a modest building with the words 'Peoples Theatre' on the outside. There is nothing spectacular or breath-taking about the venue, in fact some may even say it was aesthetically displeasing. It is not the sort of place you would go out your way to see, it's certainly not a tourist landmark, and nothing of any real significance has ever occurred here. Yet here we are, outside 'Peoples Theatre' on Hoofdt Street, taking in its non-existent beauty as the locals wander past giving it no notice.
There is however one noteworthy, albeit temporary, addition to the face of the theatre, a relatively small A3 poster on one of the entrances which advertises:
Another notice is displayed upon all the doors, written in what seems to be crayon:
Clearly the second notice isn't meant for the likes of us, we go where we want, whether it is the inner sanctum of Klaus vonKnorre when he shamelessly exposes his penis, Tommy Halford’s bedroom to learn more than we ever needed or wanted to know about his sex life, Seito Risa's apartment when she did something irrelevant, inside the mind of 'The Mainstreamer' as he struggles with inner doubt and his position as 'Not Vain', the very pages of Phrixus Deimos' personal journal...you get the point, 'Keep Out' signs don't have any power over our kind.
We enter the performance area and in stark contrast to the outside of the building this is far easier on the eye. The empty seats are covered in a luxurious looking red cloth and the architecture of the room is an understated art deco style but with a modern influence. The most impressive sight however is on the stage where a team of talented individuals have created and eye-catching set. The stage is split into three sections representing three rooms of a gloriously lavish home.
To the left a dining room with what looks to be an oak table complete with much cutlery that glints as the light touches it, the walls lined with oil painted portraits of people who are unrecognisable, but clearly very happy with themselves judging by their smug expressions,.
To the right a study with a small bar that looks hand crafted out of the finest mahogany, complete with bookshelves heavy with leather clad tomes and various comfortable seating arrangements surrounding an ornate coffee table.
However the real eye catcher is the centre of the stage, an immaculately reproduced foyer, huge double doors towards the back that look like they could keep the very armies of hell at bay, the façade of an ornate grand staircase next to these, and a floor covered in a realistic representation of marble.
At least we imagine that’s how Travis Roberts, who stands in the centre of the stage, sees things. The reality is a lot less impressive, in fact it’s pretty laughable. The auditorium the stage sits in feels more like a high school gymnasium than a theatre, complete with a surly guy currently setting up rows of fold-able chairs for the performance later in the evening.
The Stage is indeed set into three distinct rooms, to the left a series of cardboard boxes are placed around a larger rectangular box with a number of paper plates sat upon it, to the right more cardboard is placed around the space with the words ‘Luxurious Armchair’ written upon them in dark crayon with another large box towards the back that has the word ‘Bar’ scrawled on it, and the foyer is an empty space with two large sheets of white cloth, both with writing upon them, hanging from the back that say ‘Front Doors’ and ‘Staircase’ on them.
At this very point a loud, deep roll of thunder overcomes the entire theatre, or more accurately someone off stage just wobbled some sheet metal to give a feeble impression of thunder. Then a voice comes from behind the curtain marked door.
It say’s ‘knock’, what am I meant to be knocking on?
Travis rolls his eyes and looks towards the sheet.
Travis: On the door.
What door? There's just a damn sheet here.
Travis: With the word door written on it, by you, can't you just suspend your disbelief for a day? You are a professional after all.
'A professional at causing others pain, but fine, how would you suggest I make this work for the audience? All slamming my fist on will do is cause a ripple on the sheet.
Travis: Improvise.
A silence comes from behind the sheet for a few moments before.
KNOCK KNOCK!
Travis walks across to the sheet and pulls it aside to reveal Donovan Hastings standing behind it, wearing a short blonde wig and a suit. He is holding the script in his hands.
Travis: Maybe just stamp your feet when we do this for real tonight?
Donovan instantly scowls.
Donovan: If you knew what you wanted me to do from the start why didn't you just say so? This is terrible directing.
Travis: Can we concentrate on the script?
Donovan: Any time you want, you're the one that took us off topic.
Travis clears his throat.
Travis: Ah! Master Zoil, welcome, welcome please do come in.
Donovan shuffles in.
Travis: You are incredible prompt, but we wouldn't expect any less from the gentlemen hand picked by the Duke of the Torturo Provinces to be his beneficiary.
Donovan looks down at his script and pauses whilst he reads his line.
Donovan: I am honored by the invitation, the Duke would like to apologize for his absence tonight.
Travis laughs and slaps Donovan theatrically on the back, which the Lord of Pain's face suggests he doesn't take too kindly too, even on stage.
Travis: We're amongst friends here young man, I know your Duke well and he most certainly did not apologise.
Donovan: You are right, of course. He did say something about spending a month listening to the mating cries of warthogs would be more pleasurable than just a couple of hours listening to our hosts wretched accent. But he had just found out Windows 10 was auto-downloading on his laptop without him signing up for it, so his mood was monstrous at best.
Travis: And then he told you that you would have to come in his stead?
Donovan: Indeed sir, it was either that or I would have to chase the warthogs for his entertainment. Really though, sir, I was pleased to have the opportunity to meet his Highness, it is rare that someone like me is given such an opportunity.
Travis: Master Zoil, you are humble, polite and possess an optimistic naivety, I can see why the Duke has found use of you.
Donovan: May I ask how you know so much about the Duke, sir?
Travis: Let's just say I was in a very similar position to you once.
Someone stamps their foot behind the curtain, and Travis springs to attention.
Travis: Ah! Another guest!
Travis scampers over to the curtain and pulls it aside to see Owen Peterson, dressed in Military Dress uniform and he too is wearing a blond wig, this one even shorter than Donovan's.
Travis: Welcome, Welcome.
He ushers Owen in with a sweep of his hands.
Travis: His Royal Highness will be so glad you made it Mr. Clarity, I hear he is a big fan of your show.
Owen puffs out his chest and a wry smile crosses his face.
Owen: Of course he is, I could see a man like him would have great taste.
Owen then looks across at Donovan, looks him up and down and scoffs.
Owen: Who is this? I had assumed from the invitation this would be a get together of powerful and high profile members of society like myself.
Donovan: Watch your tone, you don't speak to me that way. You're haircut is looking very strange by the way.
Travis breaks his stance and holds his hands up in a praying motion.
Travis: Please keep to the script.
Donovan looks at Travis like he's crazy and then he remembers where he is once again, clearly the few lines of dialog that he was not involved in did not hold his attention.
Travis then turns back to Owen, and subtly positions himself so the two men have to face one another.
Travis: This is the Duke of the Torturo Provinces' beneficiary, Master Zoil.
Owen: Pfft. That sounds just like the Duke, thinks he's too important even for the King, and sends his stable boy instead. I have to say I find it slightly inconvenient that I have to share my company with him. Really I should be getting a one on one audience with the King, given my standing in the nation and my contributions to it.
Travis looks at Donovan and raises his eyebrows in a sympathetic fashion.
Travis: And this is Mr. Clarity, I'm sure you've seen his acclaimed TV Show 'Restoring Clarity'?
Donovan: The Duke doesn't allow me to watch TV, he says my eyes are unworthy of gracing his 4k resolutions. But I may have heard of it, is that the one where he interviews famous figures who have fallen from grace in the public eye and rehabilitates them to the nation after a few minutes in his presence?
Travis: That's the one.
Owen: I was also in the army, I served this fine country.
Travis puts his hands to his mouth shielding it from Owen in the universal acting sign for whispering.
Travis: You'd have known that if you'd seen any of his media appearances, he mentions it quite frequently.
There's another 'knock' at the door but before Travis can turn Donovan's hand shoots up and he looks at his script and.
Donovan: Wait! Owen's character seems awfully familiar...
He flips the script back a page.
Donovan: Are you?
And flips back to the correct page.
Donovan: You are aren't you? You're doing one of those things where you write parts as parodies of real people..
Travis: Is this the first time you've read the script? You've had it for weeks? We only do this once!
Donovan waves his hand dismissively.
Donovan: Don't worry my memory is impeccable. Brash and arrogant, high opinion of his standing in society? Owen's meant to be Fusion isn't he?
Travis just glares at Donovan.
Donovan: But if we're all wearing our wigs and costumes, why isn’t Owen wearing his makeup?
Travis: He is wearing make-up.
Donovan: You know what I mean. If he's going to convincingly portray Red Fusion we need to get some pace paint.
Travis shakes his head.
Travis: "Whiting Up" isn’t exactly welcomed in this part of the world.
Donovan rolls his eyes.
Donovan: It's political correctness gone mad! But if Owen is Fusion, who the hell am I?
Donovan starts flipping through the previous pages.
Donovan: Naïve...in servitude...pretty wet...a bit of a doormat...
Donovan looks up and fixes his eyes on Travis, his face growing red, h speaks his next words slow and deliberately.
Donovan: Tell me I am not playing the part of my Protégé?
Travis: Who is better acquainted with him than you are?
Donovan: This is shameful.
Travis: It's for one night!
Donovan narrows his eyes.
Donovan: You realize you owe me for this.
Travis nods and Donovan looks back down at the script.
Donovan: This Duke fellow sounds like a real prick.
Travis chuckles and Donovan looks up from the script.
Donovan: Someone's at the door
Travis looks annoyed, but then gets back into character and pulls the 'door' aside. Victoria Jensen is revealed, she wears a short brown wig and has a fake beard stuck to her face, not a comically long once, but a short one that actually looks quite disconcerting on her female features. She too is wearing a man's dinner suit, but she has chosen to come without a tie, her top two buttons undone.
Travis: Everybody, this is Mr Noble, welcome welcome, we are just getting to know one another.
Owen: I recognise him, weren't you a consultant to the ill-advised government that reigned so shortly before our current Monarch?
Vix speaks in her deepest gruffest voice.
Vix: I was never hired in an official capacity, and only offered basic feedback to their concerns. It was not I that lead them to their current predicament, however it is intriguing to think that had things gone differently I could have been the one that had taken power from them had our current Monarch been in such a fortuitous position. Do not mistake my business dealings for my political alignments.
Owen: By that logic so could the Duke's boot scrubber over here!
Owen motions to Donovan. Before pointing accusingly at Vix.
Owen: He should not be received by the King, he should be punished as all the others traitors were.
Donovan: I have to say I too am quite uncomfortable with his presence I have heard what the King has done to anyone who he considered to be so much as a threat to his legitimacy, and this man was known to have been complicit with at least one of them, and was handsomely rewarded for it.
Owen: He also just said he wanted to be King. That's treasonous, and utterly ridiculous, he has been resident with us for such a short amount of time, I would be a far better candidate in the terrible event of our Kings demise.
There is another 'knock' and Travis this time presents to use Forewell Boding wearing a swimming cap, a goatee beard and a dark purple velvet suit, so dark it almost looks as though it was tailored from shadows. He has a lapel in the shape of a skull and crossbones to complete the off putting look. He removes a tight pair of leather gloves slowly from his hands as he looks at Travis.
Travis acts visibly taken aback...
Travis: Mr Krane, I wasn't aware you were invited tonight?
Forewell surveys the room and it's inhabitants all of whom have visibly stiffened and are avoiding eye contact with the new arrival, apart from Donovan, Donovan is sniggering.
Forewell: I wasn't aware I needed an invitation here. I am the Head of our National Security Services, it is written into the constitution that I am above all laws in my constant pursuit of peace and stability in our fare lands.
He steps inside.
Forewell: I wasn't aware the King was having a soiree tonight, it's not on the official schedule?
Travis: I wouldn't know anything about that, I'm just a one time event coordinator, the Head of Security Services calendar is a little above my clearance. I'm sure His highness was aware you’d find out.
Forewell: I would expect so, there's no point in trying to hide anything from me, even if you are a king, I've been in this game long enough to sniff anything out. How else do you think this country has grown in prosperity over the brief time I have been entrusted with this role?
Vix, beard and all, turns to Owen.
Vix: Just how many rulers have we had recently.
Owen snorts a laugh, only to snap his face in the other direction as soon as Forewell shoots him a glance. At this point Donovan puts his hand up again and Travis sighs nodding towards his friend.
Donovan: Judging from the costume he's meant to be Ichabod, right?
Travis merely sighs and the others nod.
Donovan: Then I don't get it, I mean I get that he likes to be manipulative and that fits Security Services. He's also big on chaos, of the anarchy kind not the drunk biker that often smells of salami, but this nazi-esque character is ill fitting they're all about order and rigidness. It's a polar opposite.
Travis: It's a farce!
Donovan: I've been trying to tell you that for weeks, but it's too late now we've gone this far. I would have much preferred to have spent this time preparing for the celebrations I will have when I restore some dignity to the Cross-Hemisphere Championship.
Travis: No, the play is a farce.
Donovan rolls his eyes and looks over at the others.
Donovan: Am I speaking in Afrikaans?
Travis: No, otherwise I'd have requested that you do so exclusively.
Donovan: What?
Travis pleads with Donovan by widening his eyes, much like mothers do when they want to silently chastise their children. And much like the kind of child you imagine Donovan to be he shrugs and looks at him as though he were insane.
Travis: Can we get on with it?
Donovan nods, and the rest of the cast get back to being uncomfortable in his presence.
Travis: Well, as you are here, Mr Krane, I'm sure the Chef can accommodate an extra guest this evening, may I introduce you to our fellow guests...
Forewell waves Travis off as he walks in and paces around, hands behind his, looking at every angle of the room and each of the guests with beady eyes.
Forewell: No need, I know who they are and they are of no concern to me, and there is no need to prepare me any food, I am well nourished, and I'm only here to see how this all unfolds.
Once more there is a knock.
Travis: That must be our final guest, and I believe we're all in for a real treat.
Travis reveals The Natural Born Killer, he wears a mask and a trench coat, in fact he hasn’t changed at all, however he holds a tablet in his hand and is furiously typing away.
Travis: Welcome Dr. Reuben.
Travis turns round with a flourish.
Travis: Gentlemen, may I please present to you the Dr Reuben, Biographer of our Nation, and a man who has stepped into the breach and led us during dark times in the past.
Everyone looks towards him.
NBK: Ek hoef nie fanfare, maar ek is 'n eenvoudige man.
Vix: Being humble can get you killed in this day and age, just my advice for what it is worth.
Forewell: Are you making a threat against an elder statesman?
NBK: Ek kan hier 'n lang fondamente het, maar ek kan nog steeds veg my eie gevegte.
Owen: Yeah, he knows what he's doing, I knew him before the unification, we were two of the most influential and powerful individuals our republic had ever known.
NBK: Nelson Mandela het eenkeer gesê "malligheid Een persoon se werklikheid 'n ander persoon se lewe."
Travis: Those are wise words spoken by a true hero of our time.
The stage falls silent, and everyone turns to look at The Lord of Pain, whose mouth is agape and he looks around at them all as if they have just sprouted three heads.
Donovan: Why are you all looking at me?
Travis: It's your line!
Donovan: How am I meant to wok that out? How do you all know what he's saying.
Travis: No-one has to understand, they have a script.
Donovan: Then how are the audience meant to know whats going on?
Travis: Trust me, they'll understand.
Donovanshakes his head.
Donovan: But I don't..
He looks down at the script and then thrusts it in Travis' face as he flaps his free arm around for effect.
Donovan: Look at this! How do you expect me to give you my best work under these conditions!?!? How am I meant to say my lines if I don't know what my characters motivations are for them? I've grown fond of my portrayal of Alternate-Larry, now you expect me to risk all the work I have done on this character by delivering my response with no clue as to what he is reacting to? Or what emotional state he would be in?
Travis: Fine, he said "I need no fanfare, I am but a simple man.", then "I may have long foundations here, but I can still fight my own battles." followed by "Nelson Mandela once said "One person's craziness is another person's reality."
Donovan considers this for a moment.
Donovan: Did Nelson Mandela really say that?
Travis: I think so, it was either him or Tim Burton, I always get the two confused.
Donovan nods.
NBK Ek hoop daar sal die koek wees om dit te doen.
Travis looks at NBK in surprise, then at Donovan script and looks at him again.
NBK: Wat? Ek pleeg.
Travis: Do you think you understand now? Because I think mask boy over here is losing the plot.
Donovan: Yes, yes, I think I have this.
Travis: Everyone back to their positions.
He then signals for Donovan, who puffs his chest out.
Donovan: I...
He takes a deep breath and leaves a dramatic pause.
Donovan: Concur!
He over pronounces the word and flourishes his arms and then clutches his hands to his chest.
Travis raises his eyebrows and gives Donovan a thumbs up.
Travis: Now that we have arrived I am under instructions to retrieve party favours for each of you from the study.
Travis wanders into the 'study' and lifts up a cardboard box to reveal a pile of other boxes and he passes them out.
Travis: Isn't that a surprise, he also got you one Mr. Krane? Even though you did not announce your plan, it's almost like he finds you predictable.
Forewell scowls and takes his box as someone shakes to sheet metal once more to signify thunder. They all open their boxes and retrieve their gifts.
Travis: What have we here?...A Candlestick?
Forewell: A rope?
Vix: A lead pipe?
Donovan: A Wrench!
Owen: A dumbell?
NBK: A mes?
Owen: What is the meaning of this!
Forewell: This just got more interesting.
At this point from off stage someone using their lips to imitate trumpets. 'DUH DUUH DUH DUUH DUH DUUUH!'
Travis: I think all is about to be revealed...
At this point Travis scurries off behind the sheet marked 'Stairs' and then comes out holding a Manequin in the long black wig. He then stands behind him and puts on what he considers to be a British accent.
Travis: Ahh, my loyal subjects, you all seem so confused. It's pretty simple really, I know each and everyone of you have designs on my throne, you'd all like to sit upon it, but as a collective you fail to interest me. My time is precious, and so many of you are insignificant, it can be a chore ruling you, let alone having to fend off your measly attempts at a coup. You saw how calculating I can be when I removed the uprising that took down the previous monarch, their rule was brief and forgettable. So I have a proposition for each of you, rather than waste my time and yours with long drawn out plots, lets do this instead. If you remove one another from my plans, down here on my floor, whoever is left standing can come back at a later date and face me in an honourable duel, no subterfuge, no manipulation, one chance to claim what all strive for.
Travis then props the mannequin up against a wall and gets back into his position and clutches his candlestick, and all of the men eye themselves with suspicion, ready to pounce if any one of the others looks at them in a threatening manner. And then there is another roll of thunder and the stage lights go out. A commotion can be heard on stage, a clear scuffle is happening, and then there is a scream and the lights go on again, each man is stood in a different position, and each grasps a different weapon than when the lights went out. They each look at one another, and then slowly they look towards the Mannequin that is now on it's back.
Travis rushes over to the Mannequin and pretends to check for a pulse and a breath.
Travis: The King is dead!
Donovan screams and then holds his script up.
Donovan: I'm not 'fainting' unless there is a crash mat, I'm not taking a risky bump before my match. And one more thing, what's with the Mannequin?
Travis: PKA said he was into AmDram and agreed to take part, but he just never showed up.
At this point for the sake of the sanity of all involved we will use our powers to advance time through much of the play to get to the end, using the helpful recap style to describe the events in between.
-A great deal of running from one room to another occurs as the cast comically continue this farce, with each guest attempting to prove that whilst they didn't actually commit murder, they would be best placed to resume the monarchs duties.
-Donovan refuses to faint on at least one other occasion, and even walks out at one point when NBK refuses to address him in anything other than 'that made up gibberish he's spouting'.
-At one point we get a cameo from 'The Drunken Buzzsaw' himself, Chaos wanders on stage, wearing a maids outfit (over his usual outfit of course) mutters 'Typical, I'm always left cleaning up the shit! And does anyone appreciate my efforts? Of course they fucking don't, that's just what I do, bust my balls for everyone else and make their lives easier. Fuck them.' and then wanders off stage.
-Many inconsequential clues are discovered and there's a great deal of comical disagreement amongst the group.
-Vix's facial hair starts to peel off under the intense heat of the stage lights and leaves her looking like a melting waxwork.
-Donovan demands numerous breaks so that he can check on his Tamagotchi. It is pointed out to him that he's a few decade behind getting into that fad, but obviously he explains to them all why they are wrong.
Eventually all 6 men are once again gathered in the middle of the stage. after much investigation the finale is upon us, and Travis once again stands in front of them all.
Donovan: So who was it? Who killed the King?
Travis: I have the answers, it's all quite obvious really.
Owen: It is?
Travis: Indeed, we know that everyone standing in this room had both motive and opportunity.
The cast nod and murmur in agreement. And Travis then turns his attention to Forewell in his swimming cap and velvet shadow suit.
Travis: Mr Krane would be the most obvious suspect. You have a great deal of experience in this kind of usurping. Clandestine assassinations are actually in your job description, these are usually aimed at rebel factions and dissidents, but there is no reason these specific talents could not be employed for other more personally beneficial goals. You have built a fearsome reputation for a great deal of similar actions across the years, and are known for being as ruthless and calculating as they come.
Forewell beams with pride at this.
Travis: However, reputation alone is not enough to successfully commit regicide. You have relied too heavily on your past acts, believing wholeheartedly that what once was can be again if you merely have a strong enough will. What worked amongst previous regimes you have served do not work here, our nation is further advanced and more refined than anything you experienced in the past, yet you have failed to adapt and are instead happy to remain on the periphery forever hoping that your position, with it's benefits of being able to infiltrate the inner circle of most of the populous, is enough on it's own without adapting to this new more challenging world. No, Mr Krane did not kill the King.
Travis then turns his attention to Vix.
Travis: What about Mr Noble? You are a relatively recent arrival to our state, but in your brief time amongst us you have made great waves. As has already been mentioned you quickly ingratiated yourself with some of the most influential members of our society, and rose so quickly you stand amongst us here today. Such determination could well lead you to successfully remove the most powerful individual of the moment from this plane of reality. This would be as impressive an act as any recent immigrant to our borders has ever achieved...
The glue on Vix's face finally gives up the ghost and her beard falls to the floor.
Travis: Sprinting towards the Horizon is an admirable impulse, but if you do so before you really note the landscape you must traverse you are destined to trip and fall. You have yet to adequately survey this most brutal of establishments. It may seem similar to those you have tasted success in during your past travels, but you have yet to recognise what makes the lineage of our rulers so exceptional. I have no doubt you believe you have what it takes to dethrone our King, that you believe you could rule us all with strength and stability. Sadly, for you, this is not the case, had you even attempted to commit the deed we ponder now, you would have been foiled by your inability to truly grasp exactly what it is you are trying to take.
He now turns to Owen.
Travis: Mr Clarity, there can be no denying your drive to rise to the very top of our order, I dare say no-one's determination exceeds your own. You have proven yourself with your most recent reinvention, going from a light-hearted TV personality to a respected investigative interviewer. Very few people are of proud of this great nations achievements, and fewer still have been witness to some of the glorious ages of the past. You have the passion that can differentiate a strong ruler from a weak one, but do you have what it takes to kill a King?
Owen puffs his chest out.
Owen: Of course! I'll have you know I'm the best at killing there is, I may not have removed anyone of note from a position of power for some time, but don't doubt that I am a Killer, and not only that but the BEST Killer there is. I was in the army, don't forget, and that’s what I do, kill what needs to be killed.
Travis: Quite. Few have the unwavering self-belief that you are blessed with. That very pride though is what makes it inevitable that despite your experience you could not succeed in such a plot. Your career has gone through somewhat of a renaissance recently, your standing in society improved, but you are blind to the real reasons. Your show is a success because of those you manage to get to appear, and how they respond to your questions, you have not rehabilitated them, they have done that for you. The phrase 'you can't see the forest for the trees' springs to mind, you are too focused on your individual contributions that you fail to see the bigger picture and what those around you are doing. And for that very reason someone will always strike the killing blow before you have the chance.
He then looks towards NBK who taps away on his tablet.
Travis: Dr Reuben, we all know you have the ability to take the reigns and steer the ship, and if that is indeed your goal no-one is more capable than you of grasping a opportunity with both hands. You might well know each of the people in this rooms before they are aware they wil make them, and could easily counteract the plans of any other.
NBK does not look up from the tablet.
Travis: But you are a man driven by necessity, there is no greater patriot in this room, and you will not take drastic actions unless the entire realm is at threat. You are not motivated by personal pride, nor a lust for control, you only wish to see this fine country, and it's related establishments, thrive. I do not believe you feel that at this relatively prosperous time that the monarchy needs you, but the moment it does you will rise to the occasion. But that day is not today.
Travis finally get's to Donovan who is apparently sleeping while standing up, Travis takes this in his stride.
Travis: Master Zoil, you could not have chosen a better blueprint for success than the Duke, by studying his mind and demeanour you will be prepared to one day make your name the most revered and feared in the land. I am well aware of the lineage that you come from, others may think you are merely a young upstart, a punchline that has been incredibly lucky to be where he is today, but I am aware of what you can be capable of, it is in your blood. Where you are today is no accident, it is exactly where you are meant to be, and I think you know that.
Donovan snores and wakes himself up. Started he takes in his surrounding and soon realises where he is and promptly closes his eyes and goes back to sleep.
Travis: You did not kill the King, Master Zoil, and I don't think you even want to right now. You know ascending to that position now would be premature and would cause a great deal of derision from the populous. If you sat on the throne rebellions would increase, people would believe they too could aspire to your position, because they consider you just like them, normal. It would not be long until a coup would overcome you. But of you know this, you're not as naïve as you would have many believe. You will make the move for power when you know that your name is regarded your lineage demands of it, but you have a long way to go before the time is right.
Everyone, apart from Donovan looks to Travis with their eyebrows raised.
Forewell: Then I suppose you are the only one who could have possibly achieved it?
Travis: Your too kind Mr Krane, but alas no, I did not kill the king.
Owen: Then who did?
Travis: No-one.
Vix: He didn't just kill himself!
Travis: Indeed he didn't, The King is alive and well...for the moment.
Everyone looks at the mannequin lying on the floor.
Travis: Oh him? That's not The King, that’s a decoy, a lookalike.
As one the assembled cast look at Travis, their faces painted with confusion.
Travis: Did it not strike any of you as strange that you, of all people, were called here tonight? Our King has only recently taken power, and he struggles to hold onto it. Those he double crossed to take this position have not gone quietly into the night and accepted defeat, in fact he has more enemies now than he did before he took the crown. Did you really think he had time for a party?
They all look at one another as Travis looks on incredulously.
Travis: Ever since the moment he ascended the King has made no public appearances, he has withdrawn himself from the spotlight. His critics have been vocal, they have made it clear they will not just let this stand, that he faces a power struggle the likes this nation has not seen in quite some time. Some suggest that he was not ready for this, that he became overwhelmed by the responsibilities and the threat of an inevitable attempted coup. others, who feel they know him better, believe he has been plotting once more, much as he did to take the crown, but this time he will eliminate his rivals permanently. Either way, did you really believe he would take time out of that to meet with a group as insignificant as yourselves?
Owen: Then why are we here?
Travis: Because I invited you all. At this very moment the King is preparing to make his move, he plans to sweep aside the three most dangerous opponents of his rule. The risk in trying to eliminate them in one move is extreme, but the reward is a place in history. I knew this would happen, so invited you all here to warn you.
Forewell: Of what?
Travis: By the time you leave tonight, the throne will be secured once more, by whom is the only question that remains. Whether it be the blunt battering ram that represents the armed forces, the manipulative lawyer and her dubious contacts, the handsome and charismatic aristocrat with a god complex, or our current monarch that stands tall when the dust settles, I intend to remove them by the turn of the year. As much as I respect what each of you bring to this realm, I will not hesitate to destroy your reputations and prospects if you so much as consider getting in my way.
Vix: You believe you can back those words up?
Travis chuckles.
Travis: Anyone who knows me can tell you what I am capable of when I know what I want. This is not some opportunistic lunge for glory, this has been my goal for some time. Don't think because I am warning you of my intentions that I am weak. Instead realise that I am telling you this because no matter what you do, no matter who you gain dubious support from, no matter if you try to derail my plans, this will happen. I know what it takes to wear the crown, and I also know what it takes to keep hold of it.
The rsst of the cast just stare at him as he pauses dramatically.
Travis: Don't fool yourselves, you all know this is inevitable, you cannot stand in my way, and most of you want to see what will happen when I make my move. But don't despair, all is not lost, you will at least be able to tell your grandchildren that you were there at the dawn of one of the greatest era's of our history, and that you all played your parts, no matter how small or insignificant they may be you played them with all your hearts.
Travis stands before the five others, Owen nudges Donovan and wakes him up and he quickly points to the script. The rest of the cast look around at one another, making eye contact, narrowing their eyes and nodding. Then as one they snatch up the previously discarded weapons, and let out blood-curdling screams before charging towards Travis Roberts.
The thunder rolls, the lights go off, and the curtain drops .
There is however one noteworthy, albeit temporary, addition to the face of the theatre, a relatively small A3 poster on one of the entrances which advertises:
Tonight Only
UGWC Players present:
The King's Table
A Farce.
UGWC Players present:
The King's Table
A Farce.
Another notice is displayed upon all the doors, written in what seems to be crayon:
CLOSED FOR DRESS REHEARSAL
Clearly the second notice isn't meant for the likes of us, we go where we want, whether it is the inner sanctum of Klaus vonKnorre when he shamelessly exposes his penis, Tommy Halford’s bedroom to learn more than we ever needed or wanted to know about his sex life, Seito Risa's apartment when she did something irrelevant, inside the mind of 'The Mainstreamer' as he struggles with inner doubt and his position as 'Not Vain', the very pages of Phrixus Deimos' personal journal...you get the point, 'Keep Out' signs don't have any power over our kind.
We enter the performance area and in stark contrast to the outside of the building this is far easier on the eye. The empty seats are covered in a luxurious looking red cloth and the architecture of the room is an understated art deco style but with a modern influence. The most impressive sight however is on the stage where a team of talented individuals have created and eye-catching set. The stage is split into three sections representing three rooms of a gloriously lavish home.
To the left a dining room with what looks to be an oak table complete with much cutlery that glints as the light touches it, the walls lined with oil painted portraits of people who are unrecognisable, but clearly very happy with themselves judging by their smug expressions,.
To the right a study with a small bar that looks hand crafted out of the finest mahogany, complete with bookshelves heavy with leather clad tomes and various comfortable seating arrangements surrounding an ornate coffee table.
However the real eye catcher is the centre of the stage, an immaculately reproduced foyer, huge double doors towards the back that look like they could keep the very armies of hell at bay, the façade of an ornate grand staircase next to these, and a floor covered in a realistic representation of marble.
At least we imagine that’s how Travis Roberts, who stands in the centre of the stage, sees things. The reality is a lot less impressive, in fact it’s pretty laughable. The auditorium the stage sits in feels more like a high school gymnasium than a theatre, complete with a surly guy currently setting up rows of fold-able chairs for the performance later in the evening.
The Stage is indeed set into three distinct rooms, to the left a series of cardboard boxes are placed around a larger rectangular box with a number of paper plates sat upon it, to the right more cardboard is placed around the space with the words ‘Luxurious Armchair’ written upon them in dark crayon with another large box towards the back that has the word ‘Bar’ scrawled on it, and the foyer is an empty space with two large sheets of white cloth, both with writing upon them, hanging from the back that say ‘Front Doors’ and ‘Staircase’ on them.
At this very point a loud, deep roll of thunder overcomes the entire theatre, or more accurately someone off stage just wobbled some sheet metal to give a feeble impression of thunder. Then a voice comes from behind the curtain marked door.
It say’s ‘knock’, what am I meant to be knocking on?
Travis rolls his eyes and looks towards the sheet.
Travis: On the door.
What door? There's just a damn sheet here.
Travis: With the word door written on it, by you, can't you just suspend your disbelief for a day? You are a professional after all.
'A professional at causing others pain, but fine, how would you suggest I make this work for the audience? All slamming my fist on will do is cause a ripple on the sheet.
Travis: Improvise.
A silence comes from behind the sheet for a few moments before.
KNOCK KNOCK!
Travis walks across to the sheet and pulls it aside to reveal Donovan Hastings standing behind it, wearing a short blonde wig and a suit. He is holding the script in his hands.
Travis: Maybe just stamp your feet when we do this for real tonight?
Donovan instantly scowls.
Donovan: If you knew what you wanted me to do from the start why didn't you just say so? This is terrible directing.
Travis: Can we concentrate on the script?
Donovan: Any time you want, you're the one that took us off topic.
Travis clears his throat.
Travis: Ah! Master Zoil, welcome, welcome please do come in.
Donovan shuffles in.
Travis: You are incredible prompt, but we wouldn't expect any less from the gentlemen hand picked by the Duke of the Torturo Provinces to be his beneficiary.
Donovan looks down at his script and pauses whilst he reads his line.
Donovan: I am honored by the invitation, the Duke would like to apologize for his absence tonight.
Travis laughs and slaps Donovan theatrically on the back, which the Lord of Pain's face suggests he doesn't take too kindly too, even on stage.
Travis: We're amongst friends here young man, I know your Duke well and he most certainly did not apologise.
Donovan: You are right, of course. He did say something about spending a month listening to the mating cries of warthogs would be more pleasurable than just a couple of hours listening to our hosts wretched accent. But he had just found out Windows 10 was auto-downloading on his laptop without him signing up for it, so his mood was monstrous at best.
Travis: And then he told you that you would have to come in his stead?
Donovan: Indeed sir, it was either that or I would have to chase the warthogs for his entertainment. Really though, sir, I was pleased to have the opportunity to meet his Highness, it is rare that someone like me is given such an opportunity.
Travis: Master Zoil, you are humble, polite and possess an optimistic naivety, I can see why the Duke has found use of you.
Donovan: May I ask how you know so much about the Duke, sir?
Travis: Let's just say I was in a very similar position to you once.
Someone stamps their foot behind the curtain, and Travis springs to attention.
Travis: Ah! Another guest!
Travis scampers over to the curtain and pulls it aside to see Owen Peterson, dressed in Military Dress uniform and he too is wearing a blond wig, this one even shorter than Donovan's.
Travis: Welcome, Welcome.
He ushers Owen in with a sweep of his hands.
Travis: His Royal Highness will be so glad you made it Mr. Clarity, I hear he is a big fan of your show.
Owen puffs out his chest and a wry smile crosses his face.
Owen: Of course he is, I could see a man like him would have great taste.
Owen then looks across at Donovan, looks him up and down and scoffs.
Owen: Who is this? I had assumed from the invitation this would be a get together of powerful and high profile members of society like myself.
Donovan: Watch your tone, you don't speak to me that way. You're haircut is looking very strange by the way.
Travis breaks his stance and holds his hands up in a praying motion.
Travis: Please keep to the script.
Donovan looks at Travis like he's crazy and then he remembers where he is once again, clearly the few lines of dialog that he was not involved in did not hold his attention.
Travis then turns back to Owen, and subtly positions himself so the two men have to face one another.
Travis: This is the Duke of the Torturo Provinces' beneficiary, Master Zoil.
Owen: Pfft. That sounds just like the Duke, thinks he's too important even for the King, and sends his stable boy instead. I have to say I find it slightly inconvenient that I have to share my company with him. Really I should be getting a one on one audience with the King, given my standing in the nation and my contributions to it.
Travis looks at Donovan and raises his eyebrows in a sympathetic fashion.
Travis: And this is Mr. Clarity, I'm sure you've seen his acclaimed TV Show 'Restoring Clarity'?
Donovan: The Duke doesn't allow me to watch TV, he says my eyes are unworthy of gracing his 4k resolutions. But I may have heard of it, is that the one where he interviews famous figures who have fallen from grace in the public eye and rehabilitates them to the nation after a few minutes in his presence?
Travis: That's the one.
Owen: I was also in the army, I served this fine country.
Travis puts his hands to his mouth shielding it from Owen in the universal acting sign for whispering.
Travis: You'd have known that if you'd seen any of his media appearances, he mentions it quite frequently.
There's another 'knock' at the door but before Travis can turn Donovan's hand shoots up and he looks at his script and.
Donovan: Wait! Owen's character seems awfully familiar...
He flips the script back a page.
Donovan: Are you?
And flips back to the correct page.
Donovan: You are aren't you? You're doing one of those things where you write parts as parodies of real people..
Travis: Is this the first time you've read the script? You've had it for weeks? We only do this once!
Donovan waves his hand dismissively.
Donovan: Don't worry my memory is impeccable. Brash and arrogant, high opinion of his standing in society? Owen's meant to be Fusion isn't he?
Travis just glares at Donovan.
Donovan: But if we're all wearing our wigs and costumes, why isn’t Owen wearing his makeup?
Travis: He is wearing make-up.
Donovan: You know what I mean. If he's going to convincingly portray Red Fusion we need to get some pace paint.
Travis shakes his head.
Travis: "Whiting Up" isn’t exactly welcomed in this part of the world.
Donovan rolls his eyes.
Donovan: It's political correctness gone mad! But if Owen is Fusion, who the hell am I?
Donovan starts flipping through the previous pages.
Donovan: Naïve...in servitude...pretty wet...a bit of a doormat...
Donovan looks up and fixes his eyes on Travis, his face growing red, h speaks his next words slow and deliberately.
Donovan: Tell me I am not playing the part of my Protégé?
Travis: Who is better acquainted with him than you are?
Donovan: This is shameful.
Travis: It's for one night!
Donovan narrows his eyes.
Donovan: You realize you owe me for this.
Travis nods and Donovan looks back down at the script.
Donovan: This Duke fellow sounds like a real prick.
Travis chuckles and Donovan looks up from the script.
Donovan: Someone's at the door
Travis looks annoyed, but then gets back into character and pulls the 'door' aside. Victoria Jensen is revealed, she wears a short brown wig and has a fake beard stuck to her face, not a comically long once, but a short one that actually looks quite disconcerting on her female features. She too is wearing a man's dinner suit, but she has chosen to come without a tie, her top two buttons undone.
Travis: Everybody, this is Mr Noble, welcome welcome, we are just getting to know one another.
Owen: I recognise him, weren't you a consultant to the ill-advised government that reigned so shortly before our current Monarch?
Vix speaks in her deepest gruffest voice.
Vix: I was never hired in an official capacity, and only offered basic feedback to their concerns. It was not I that lead them to their current predicament, however it is intriguing to think that had things gone differently I could have been the one that had taken power from them had our current Monarch been in such a fortuitous position. Do not mistake my business dealings for my political alignments.
Owen: By that logic so could the Duke's boot scrubber over here!
Owen motions to Donovan. Before pointing accusingly at Vix.
Owen: He should not be received by the King, he should be punished as all the others traitors were.
Donovan: I have to say I too am quite uncomfortable with his presence I have heard what the King has done to anyone who he considered to be so much as a threat to his legitimacy, and this man was known to have been complicit with at least one of them, and was handsomely rewarded for it.
Owen: He also just said he wanted to be King. That's treasonous, and utterly ridiculous, he has been resident with us for such a short amount of time, I would be a far better candidate in the terrible event of our Kings demise.
There is another 'knock' and Travis this time presents to use Forewell Boding wearing a swimming cap, a goatee beard and a dark purple velvet suit, so dark it almost looks as though it was tailored from shadows. He has a lapel in the shape of a skull and crossbones to complete the off putting look. He removes a tight pair of leather gloves slowly from his hands as he looks at Travis.
Travis acts visibly taken aback...
Travis: Mr Krane, I wasn't aware you were invited tonight?
Forewell surveys the room and it's inhabitants all of whom have visibly stiffened and are avoiding eye contact with the new arrival, apart from Donovan, Donovan is sniggering.
Forewell: I wasn't aware I needed an invitation here. I am the Head of our National Security Services, it is written into the constitution that I am above all laws in my constant pursuit of peace and stability in our fare lands.
He steps inside.
Forewell: I wasn't aware the King was having a soiree tonight, it's not on the official schedule?
Travis: I wouldn't know anything about that, I'm just a one time event coordinator, the Head of Security Services calendar is a little above my clearance. I'm sure His highness was aware you’d find out.
Forewell: I would expect so, there's no point in trying to hide anything from me, even if you are a king, I've been in this game long enough to sniff anything out. How else do you think this country has grown in prosperity over the brief time I have been entrusted with this role?
Vix, beard and all, turns to Owen.
Vix: Just how many rulers have we had recently.
Owen snorts a laugh, only to snap his face in the other direction as soon as Forewell shoots him a glance. At this point Donovan puts his hand up again and Travis sighs nodding towards his friend.
Donovan: Judging from the costume he's meant to be Ichabod, right?
Travis merely sighs and the others nod.
Donovan: Then I don't get it, I mean I get that he likes to be manipulative and that fits Security Services. He's also big on chaos, of the anarchy kind not the drunk biker that often smells of salami, but this nazi-esque character is ill fitting they're all about order and rigidness. It's a polar opposite.
Travis: It's a farce!
Donovan: I've been trying to tell you that for weeks, but it's too late now we've gone this far. I would have much preferred to have spent this time preparing for the celebrations I will have when I restore some dignity to the Cross-Hemisphere Championship.
Travis: No, the play is a farce.
Donovan rolls his eyes and looks over at the others.
Donovan: Am I speaking in Afrikaans?
Travis: No, otherwise I'd have requested that you do so exclusively.
Donovan: What?
Travis pleads with Donovan by widening his eyes, much like mothers do when they want to silently chastise their children. And much like the kind of child you imagine Donovan to be he shrugs and looks at him as though he were insane.
Travis: Can we get on with it?
Donovan nods, and the rest of the cast get back to being uncomfortable in his presence.
Travis: Well, as you are here, Mr Krane, I'm sure the Chef can accommodate an extra guest this evening, may I introduce you to our fellow guests...
Forewell waves Travis off as he walks in and paces around, hands behind his, looking at every angle of the room and each of the guests with beady eyes.
Forewell: No need, I know who they are and they are of no concern to me, and there is no need to prepare me any food, I am well nourished, and I'm only here to see how this all unfolds.
Once more there is a knock.
Travis: That must be our final guest, and I believe we're all in for a real treat.
Travis reveals The Natural Born Killer, he wears a mask and a trench coat, in fact he hasn’t changed at all, however he holds a tablet in his hand and is furiously typing away.
Travis: Welcome Dr. Reuben.
Travis turns round with a flourish.
Travis: Gentlemen, may I please present to you the Dr Reuben, Biographer of our Nation, and a man who has stepped into the breach and led us during dark times in the past.
Everyone looks towards him.
NBK: Ek hoef nie fanfare, maar ek is 'n eenvoudige man.
Vix: Being humble can get you killed in this day and age, just my advice for what it is worth.
Forewell: Are you making a threat against an elder statesman?
NBK: Ek kan hier 'n lang fondamente het, maar ek kan nog steeds veg my eie gevegte.
Owen: Yeah, he knows what he's doing, I knew him before the unification, we were two of the most influential and powerful individuals our republic had ever known.
NBK: Nelson Mandela het eenkeer gesê "malligheid Een persoon se werklikheid 'n ander persoon se lewe."
Travis: Those are wise words spoken by a true hero of our time.
The stage falls silent, and everyone turns to look at The Lord of Pain, whose mouth is agape and he looks around at them all as if they have just sprouted three heads.
Donovan: Why are you all looking at me?
Travis: It's your line!
Donovan: How am I meant to wok that out? How do you all know what he's saying.
Travis: No-one has to understand, they have a script.
Donovan: Then how are the audience meant to know whats going on?
Travis: Trust me, they'll understand.
Donovanshakes his head.
Donovan: But I don't..
He looks down at the script and then thrusts it in Travis' face as he flaps his free arm around for effect.
Donovan: Look at this! How do you expect me to give you my best work under these conditions!?!? How am I meant to say my lines if I don't know what my characters motivations are for them? I've grown fond of my portrayal of Alternate-Larry, now you expect me to risk all the work I have done on this character by delivering my response with no clue as to what he is reacting to? Or what emotional state he would be in?
Travis: Fine, he said "I need no fanfare, I am but a simple man.", then "I may have long foundations here, but I can still fight my own battles." followed by "Nelson Mandela once said "One person's craziness is another person's reality."
Donovan considers this for a moment.
Donovan: Did Nelson Mandela really say that?
Travis: I think so, it was either him or Tim Burton, I always get the two confused.
Donovan nods.
NBK Ek hoop daar sal die koek wees om dit te doen.
Travis looks at NBK in surprise, then at Donovan script and looks at him again.
NBK: Wat? Ek pleeg.
Travis: Do you think you understand now? Because I think mask boy over here is losing the plot.
Donovan: Yes, yes, I think I have this.
Travis: Everyone back to their positions.
He then signals for Donovan, who puffs his chest out.
Donovan: I...
He takes a deep breath and leaves a dramatic pause.
Donovan: Concur!
He over pronounces the word and flourishes his arms and then clutches his hands to his chest.
Travis raises his eyebrows and gives Donovan a thumbs up.
Travis: Now that we have arrived I am under instructions to retrieve party favours for each of you from the study.
Travis wanders into the 'study' and lifts up a cardboard box to reveal a pile of other boxes and he passes them out.
Travis: Isn't that a surprise, he also got you one Mr. Krane? Even though you did not announce your plan, it's almost like he finds you predictable.
Forewell scowls and takes his box as someone shakes to sheet metal once more to signify thunder. They all open their boxes and retrieve their gifts.
Travis: What have we here?...A Candlestick?
Forewell: A rope?
Vix: A lead pipe?
Donovan: A Wrench!
Owen: A dumbell?
NBK: A mes?
Owen: What is the meaning of this!
Forewell: This just got more interesting.
At this point from off stage someone using their lips to imitate trumpets. 'DUH DUUH DUH DUUH DUH DUUUH!'
Travis: I think all is about to be revealed...
At this point Travis scurries off behind the sheet marked 'Stairs' and then comes out holding a Manequin in the long black wig. He then stands behind him and puts on what he considers to be a British accent.
Travis: Ahh, my loyal subjects, you all seem so confused. It's pretty simple really, I know each and everyone of you have designs on my throne, you'd all like to sit upon it, but as a collective you fail to interest me. My time is precious, and so many of you are insignificant, it can be a chore ruling you, let alone having to fend off your measly attempts at a coup. You saw how calculating I can be when I removed the uprising that took down the previous monarch, their rule was brief and forgettable. So I have a proposition for each of you, rather than waste my time and yours with long drawn out plots, lets do this instead. If you remove one another from my plans, down here on my floor, whoever is left standing can come back at a later date and face me in an honourable duel, no subterfuge, no manipulation, one chance to claim what all strive for.
Travis then props the mannequin up against a wall and gets back into his position and clutches his candlestick, and all of the men eye themselves with suspicion, ready to pounce if any one of the others looks at them in a threatening manner. And then there is another roll of thunder and the stage lights go out. A commotion can be heard on stage, a clear scuffle is happening, and then there is a scream and the lights go on again, each man is stood in a different position, and each grasps a different weapon than when the lights went out. They each look at one another, and then slowly they look towards the Mannequin that is now on it's back.
Travis rushes over to the Mannequin and pretends to check for a pulse and a breath.
Travis: The King is dead!
Donovan screams and then holds his script up.
Donovan: I'm not 'fainting' unless there is a crash mat, I'm not taking a risky bump before my match. And one more thing, what's with the Mannequin?
Travis: PKA said he was into AmDram and agreed to take part, but he just never showed up.
At this point for the sake of the sanity of all involved we will use our powers to advance time through much of the play to get to the end, using the helpful recap style to describe the events in between.
-A great deal of running from one room to another occurs as the cast comically continue this farce, with each guest attempting to prove that whilst they didn't actually commit murder, they would be best placed to resume the monarchs duties.
-Donovan refuses to faint on at least one other occasion, and even walks out at one point when NBK refuses to address him in anything other than 'that made up gibberish he's spouting'.
-At one point we get a cameo from 'The Drunken Buzzsaw' himself, Chaos wanders on stage, wearing a maids outfit (over his usual outfit of course) mutters 'Typical, I'm always left cleaning up the shit! And does anyone appreciate my efforts? Of course they fucking don't, that's just what I do, bust my balls for everyone else and make their lives easier. Fuck them.' and then wanders off stage.
-Many inconsequential clues are discovered and there's a great deal of comical disagreement amongst the group.
-Vix's facial hair starts to peel off under the intense heat of the stage lights and leaves her looking like a melting waxwork.
-Donovan demands numerous breaks so that he can check on his Tamagotchi. It is pointed out to him that he's a few decade behind getting into that fad, but obviously he explains to them all why they are wrong.
Eventually all 6 men are once again gathered in the middle of the stage. after much investigation the finale is upon us, and Travis once again stands in front of them all.
Donovan: So who was it? Who killed the King?
Travis: I have the answers, it's all quite obvious really.
Owen: It is?
Travis: Indeed, we know that everyone standing in this room had both motive and opportunity.
The cast nod and murmur in agreement. And Travis then turns his attention to Forewell in his swimming cap and velvet shadow suit.
Travis: Mr Krane would be the most obvious suspect. You have a great deal of experience in this kind of usurping. Clandestine assassinations are actually in your job description, these are usually aimed at rebel factions and dissidents, but there is no reason these specific talents could not be employed for other more personally beneficial goals. You have built a fearsome reputation for a great deal of similar actions across the years, and are known for being as ruthless and calculating as they come.
Forewell beams with pride at this.
Travis: However, reputation alone is not enough to successfully commit regicide. You have relied too heavily on your past acts, believing wholeheartedly that what once was can be again if you merely have a strong enough will. What worked amongst previous regimes you have served do not work here, our nation is further advanced and more refined than anything you experienced in the past, yet you have failed to adapt and are instead happy to remain on the periphery forever hoping that your position, with it's benefits of being able to infiltrate the inner circle of most of the populous, is enough on it's own without adapting to this new more challenging world. No, Mr Krane did not kill the King.
Travis then turns his attention to Vix.
Travis: What about Mr Noble? You are a relatively recent arrival to our state, but in your brief time amongst us you have made great waves. As has already been mentioned you quickly ingratiated yourself with some of the most influential members of our society, and rose so quickly you stand amongst us here today. Such determination could well lead you to successfully remove the most powerful individual of the moment from this plane of reality. This would be as impressive an act as any recent immigrant to our borders has ever achieved...
The glue on Vix's face finally gives up the ghost and her beard falls to the floor.
Travis: Sprinting towards the Horizon is an admirable impulse, but if you do so before you really note the landscape you must traverse you are destined to trip and fall. You have yet to adequately survey this most brutal of establishments. It may seem similar to those you have tasted success in during your past travels, but you have yet to recognise what makes the lineage of our rulers so exceptional. I have no doubt you believe you have what it takes to dethrone our King, that you believe you could rule us all with strength and stability. Sadly, for you, this is not the case, had you even attempted to commit the deed we ponder now, you would have been foiled by your inability to truly grasp exactly what it is you are trying to take.
He now turns to Owen.
Travis: Mr Clarity, there can be no denying your drive to rise to the very top of our order, I dare say no-one's determination exceeds your own. You have proven yourself with your most recent reinvention, going from a light-hearted TV personality to a respected investigative interviewer. Very few people are of proud of this great nations achievements, and fewer still have been witness to some of the glorious ages of the past. You have the passion that can differentiate a strong ruler from a weak one, but do you have what it takes to kill a King?
Owen puffs his chest out.
Owen: Of course! I'll have you know I'm the best at killing there is, I may not have removed anyone of note from a position of power for some time, but don't doubt that I am a Killer, and not only that but the BEST Killer there is. I was in the army, don't forget, and that’s what I do, kill what needs to be killed.
Travis: Quite. Few have the unwavering self-belief that you are blessed with. That very pride though is what makes it inevitable that despite your experience you could not succeed in such a plot. Your career has gone through somewhat of a renaissance recently, your standing in society improved, but you are blind to the real reasons. Your show is a success because of those you manage to get to appear, and how they respond to your questions, you have not rehabilitated them, they have done that for you. The phrase 'you can't see the forest for the trees' springs to mind, you are too focused on your individual contributions that you fail to see the bigger picture and what those around you are doing. And for that very reason someone will always strike the killing blow before you have the chance.
He then looks towards NBK who taps away on his tablet.
Travis: Dr Reuben, we all know you have the ability to take the reigns and steer the ship, and if that is indeed your goal no-one is more capable than you of grasping a opportunity with both hands. You might well know each of the people in this rooms before they are aware they wil make them, and could easily counteract the plans of any other.
NBK does not look up from the tablet.
Travis: But you are a man driven by necessity, there is no greater patriot in this room, and you will not take drastic actions unless the entire realm is at threat. You are not motivated by personal pride, nor a lust for control, you only wish to see this fine country, and it's related establishments, thrive. I do not believe you feel that at this relatively prosperous time that the monarchy needs you, but the moment it does you will rise to the occasion. But that day is not today.
Travis finally get's to Donovan who is apparently sleeping while standing up, Travis takes this in his stride.
Travis: Master Zoil, you could not have chosen a better blueprint for success than the Duke, by studying his mind and demeanour you will be prepared to one day make your name the most revered and feared in the land. I am well aware of the lineage that you come from, others may think you are merely a young upstart, a punchline that has been incredibly lucky to be where he is today, but I am aware of what you can be capable of, it is in your blood. Where you are today is no accident, it is exactly where you are meant to be, and I think you know that.
Donovan snores and wakes himself up. Started he takes in his surrounding and soon realises where he is and promptly closes his eyes and goes back to sleep.
Travis: You did not kill the King, Master Zoil, and I don't think you even want to right now. You know ascending to that position now would be premature and would cause a great deal of derision from the populous. If you sat on the throne rebellions would increase, people would believe they too could aspire to your position, because they consider you just like them, normal. It would not be long until a coup would overcome you. But of you know this, you're not as naïve as you would have many believe. You will make the move for power when you know that your name is regarded your lineage demands of it, but you have a long way to go before the time is right.
Everyone, apart from Donovan looks to Travis with their eyebrows raised.
Forewell: Then I suppose you are the only one who could have possibly achieved it?
Travis: Your too kind Mr Krane, but alas no, I did not kill the king.
Owen: Then who did?
Travis: No-one.
Vix: He didn't just kill himself!
Travis: Indeed he didn't, The King is alive and well...for the moment.
Everyone looks at the mannequin lying on the floor.
Travis: Oh him? That's not The King, that’s a decoy, a lookalike.
As one the assembled cast look at Travis, their faces painted with confusion.
Travis: Did it not strike any of you as strange that you, of all people, were called here tonight? Our King has only recently taken power, and he struggles to hold onto it. Those he double crossed to take this position have not gone quietly into the night and accepted defeat, in fact he has more enemies now than he did before he took the crown. Did you really think he had time for a party?
They all look at one another as Travis looks on incredulously.
Travis: Ever since the moment he ascended the King has made no public appearances, he has withdrawn himself from the spotlight. His critics have been vocal, they have made it clear they will not just let this stand, that he faces a power struggle the likes this nation has not seen in quite some time. Some suggest that he was not ready for this, that he became overwhelmed by the responsibilities and the threat of an inevitable attempted coup. others, who feel they know him better, believe he has been plotting once more, much as he did to take the crown, but this time he will eliminate his rivals permanently. Either way, did you really believe he would take time out of that to meet with a group as insignificant as yourselves?
Owen: Then why are we here?
Travis: Because I invited you all. At this very moment the King is preparing to make his move, he plans to sweep aside the three most dangerous opponents of his rule. The risk in trying to eliminate them in one move is extreme, but the reward is a place in history. I knew this would happen, so invited you all here to warn you.
Forewell: Of what?
Travis: By the time you leave tonight, the throne will be secured once more, by whom is the only question that remains. Whether it be the blunt battering ram that represents the armed forces, the manipulative lawyer and her dubious contacts, the handsome and charismatic aristocrat with a god complex, or our current monarch that stands tall when the dust settles, I intend to remove them by the turn of the year. As much as I respect what each of you bring to this realm, I will not hesitate to destroy your reputations and prospects if you so much as consider getting in my way.
Vix: You believe you can back those words up?
Travis chuckles.
Travis: Anyone who knows me can tell you what I am capable of when I know what I want. This is not some opportunistic lunge for glory, this has been my goal for some time. Don't think because I am warning you of my intentions that I am weak. Instead realise that I am telling you this because no matter what you do, no matter who you gain dubious support from, no matter if you try to derail my plans, this will happen. I know what it takes to wear the crown, and I also know what it takes to keep hold of it.
The rsst of the cast just stare at him as he pauses dramatically.
Travis: Don't fool yourselves, you all know this is inevitable, you cannot stand in my way, and most of you want to see what will happen when I make my move. But don't despair, all is not lost, you will at least be able to tell your grandchildren that you were there at the dawn of one of the greatest era's of our history, and that you all played your parts, no matter how small or insignificant they may be you played them with all your hearts.
Travis stands before the five others, Owen nudges Donovan and wakes him up and he quickly points to the script. The rest of the cast look around at one another, making eye contact, narrowing their eyes and nodding. Then as one they snatch up the previously discarded weapons, and let out blood-curdling screams before charging towards Travis Roberts.
The thunder rolls, the lights go off, and the curtain drops .
2013, '18, '23 
2013 
