Post by T-Robosaurus Rex on Aug 13, 2016 21:19:02 GMT -5
Roberts' Accredited Personality Enquiry
Answer the following questions honestly and quickly, the given answers may not be 100% accurate depictions of your actions but pick the one that most closely reflects your own personal preference.
Question 1
Which statement would you say best describes you:
A) A normal person, just like everyone else, any successes are due to hard work and a positive attitude leading me to lucky breaks.
B) Special, unique and gifted. Born for success, failure was never going to be an option with the god given talents at my disposal.
C) You wouldn't understand me if you tried your very hardest. I see the world differently to everyone else, and what I consider success you might deem a 'failure' due to your primitive grasp of the world around us.
Question 2
What is your ideal pet?
A) A dog. Loyal, undemanding and predictable.
B) A peacock. Flamboyant, spectacular and draws envious looks from all that see it.
C) A ferret. Misunderstood, far more intelligent than most give credit for, related to the weasel.
Question 3
What sort of books do you read?
A) The classics. Shakespeare, Dickens and Steinbeck. Traditional masterpieces that have stood the test of time and are loved by much of the populace.
B) I don't read books. I prefer my entertainment in a more visual form, interactive websites, TV shows and pop culture youtube channels. My brain needs constant stimulation otherwise I get easily distracted.
C) Somalian Poetry. Whilst there is a written text you cannot truly appreciate it unless it is accompanied by the traditional tribal dance and chants of the Wolayta.
Question 4
What kind of movies do you like?
A) Dramatic tales of victory against the odds. Tales where the likes of Brad Pitt, Tom Hanks and Meryl Streep battle against the ills of society despite the disadvantages life thrusts upon them.
B) Anything with Adam Sandler. Some people may say he plays the same man-child character in all of his movies and that his shtick got old a decade ago but he's clearly a comedic genius, his lifetime earnings don't lie. He's the Chevy Chase of our generation.
C) I once filmed the back of my own hand to a backing track of Icelandic Monks practicing bell ringing. I don’t think there has been a more influential 4 hours committed to celluloid. Exclusively filmed on 8mm, obviously.
Question 5
If you could be any figure from History, who would it be?
A) Mahatma Ghandi. One man who achieved so much for so money without the need for violence. A true role model to people for generations to come.
B) Jesus. When he spoke people listened, people followed, and they are still doing so 2000 years later. THAT is charisma, the biggest celebrity of all time, who can top that?
C) Huck Johnson. He was a drifter that passed through my town once every few years when I was growing up. He played the spoons with passion you've never seen before and was totally underappreciated by the populace of my town.
Question 6
Hiking in the forest you disturb a bear and it's cubs, the bear turns on it's hind legs and looks at you, how do you react?
A) Stay calm and back away slowly, making sure to do nothing to startle the bear further. Hopefully retreating slowly will avoid any problems, if it does start to advance however look to use the anti-bear provisions that were carefully packed in case of this very scenario.
B) Instruct the guide I hired to deal with the problem. Why face such risks when you can hire someone else for a pittance?
C) Your worried about bears? Let me tell you, it's the bugs that will get you out there, you have no idea some of the nasty things a bite from one of them can cause. Plus I'm not sure I'd get as far as where the bears would roam, I have told you about the rare form of asthma I suffer from, right? You know the one that's actually a sign that I am evolving at a faster pace than others.
Question 7
You meet Queen Elizabeth II Monarch of the United Kingdom and Northern Ireland, how do you approach the situation?
A) Follow the instructions that would have been outlined to me by the protocol officer earlier in the day, ensure I bow/curtsy respectfully and only speak when she addresses me. Avoid making eye contact for too long as this could come across as disrespectful.
B) I'd treat her just as I would any of my other fans, if Liz wants me to sign her tit, hand me a marker pen! My autograph would make that wrinkled bosom look better than it has in years.
C) I probably wouldn't even bother showing up, the British Monarchy is just a bunch of inbred German's who are proficient at waving. It would be a different case entirely if we were speaking about Queen Margrethe II of Denmark, what a woman she is.
Question 8
The Barista in Starbucks mishears your name and writes what could be considered an insult on your cup, what do you do?
A) Nothing. I know it's for me, and as long as I get the beverage I ordered what harm is done?
B) It wouldn't happen, the Barista would know me the minute I walked in the door and the coffee would be available for me before I even got to the counter. I have them well trained, the last time they made a mistake I made sure they regretted it after a call to their customer service department.
C) Starbucks? Who drinks that swill? I like my coffee beans to have been squeezed through the anus of a small mammal before they make it anywhere near my cup. That's why I keep a ferret as a pet, it's not just a fashion statement.
Question 9
What kind of person do you dislike the most?
A) Cruel people who take pleasure in the misfortune and pain of others. Everyone deserves to be respected and treated fairly, anyone that opposes that is despicable.
B) Critics. Who is anybody else to tell me I'm not doing it right, or that I could be better. I, and only I, know what is best for me, and most critics are either unsuccessful or jealous of how much better I am.
C) Sandwich thieves, scum the lot of them. Barry from Accounting damn well knew that was MY Kale and Eggplant sub, who else is wise enough to eat Gluten free in our office? And he had the audacity to take one bite and toss it in the garbage! People like Barry are why this planet is going to hell.
Question 10
What value do you put in the importance of family?
A) Family is everything. Family will be there for you through the good and bad times. Always forgive their missteps because a good Family wants what's best for each other, and can excuse each others faults and occasional disagreements.
B) I will always owe my parents for giving me the genetic superiority to become what I am. However, in general, family are dead weight bloodsuckers only interested in what I can do for them. You gotta cut anchors like that out of your life, they might profess to care but they're all just users leeching off your talent.
C) Family is a constantly evolving concept. In your early years social trends and conditioning imprint certain figures on your life, but as you reach maturity true family is always in flux. One day my family are fellow Mongolian Basket Weaving enthusiasts, and on others it is the transient I share an afternoon of contemplation on a park bench with. The only constraints are those which you let society place upon you.
Question 11
What award would you most like to receive?
A) The Nobel Peace Prize. To be ranked along the likes of Nelson Mandela, Mother Teresa and Martin Luther King would mean I had made a positive difference to this world.
B) A Star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. Only the best of the best are immortalised in this way, if you get a star you've really made it. Imagine being ranked up there with the likes of Monroe, Presley and of course Sandler!
C) Cover Star for 'Modern Ferret' magazine. Sadly this groundbreaking piece of publishing went out of print many years ago, meaning I'll never achieve my noble dream.
Question 12
You find a wallet with $1000 in it on the sidewalk, the owners driving license is inside, do you return it?
A) Of course I do, that kind of loss could really screw someone up, who knows what the money was for? It could be a rent payment, or their wages for the month, I'd make sure they knew it was safe and arrange to get it back into the rightful hands at the earliest opportunity.
B) Finders keepers. If you're stupid enough to misplace that kind of money it's obvious I'm going to make much better use of it than you ever could. The owner would probably spend it on drugs and fast food, while I'd invest it intelligently and make it work for me.
C) I'd note their address and then spend a day or so gathering evidence on the person, I have friends who are skilled in such matters. They would be deducted $50 dollars for every negative finding such as driving an American made car, owning an i-anything or any form of 'smart' technology, wearing sports jersey's when not at a sporting event, lawn ornaments and so forth.
Question 13
While out driving at night you come across a deer that has been struck by a car and thrown into a metal fence, it's head stuck between the posts, and it's back legs broken. What actions do you take?
A) Pull over and if I am equipped to do so put it out of it's misery, or find the contact number of someone who is able to do so. No living creature deserves to suffer like that, and while it wouldn't be pleasant giving it a quick and relatively painless death is the right thing to do.
B) Get out of my car and take numerous photo's while thinking of how I can turn into into a Meme that goes viral. Then leave, I didn't make the mess, there's no way I'm clearing it up.
C) Kill it, take it home, skin it, and proceed to sew a three piece suit out of it's hide. Nowhere near enough people are making their own fashions these days.
Question 14
How do you act when meeting someone new?
A) With courtesy and respect, exactly how I would hope they would treat me. First impressions are very important, and if you come across negatively you may never recover.
B)It depends who they are. If it's a server at a restaurant I won’t remember their name or commit the most basic of their features to my memory, I don’t have time for nobodies. However if it's someone powerful and influential you best believe there will be some ass kissing involved, it's the only way to get ahead in the world.
C) After assessing their clothes, haircut and choice of cologne/perfume I'm most likely to scoff at them and remove myself from the situation. Despite what people say you can judge a book by it's cover, especially if you're looking for one that appreciates the finer points of North Korean Opera.
Question 15
What do you consider the pinnacle of mankind's achievements?
A) The establishment of Universal Human Right's in the civilised world. The recognition that no matter where you were born and no matter what you choose to believe we are all born equal and deserve to be treated humanely. Recognising this is the surest way to ensure the atrocities of the past never happen again.
B) The Internet. Now those of us who were never given a fair crack at fame by the likes of Simon Cowell can make a name for ourselves outside of the machine that is mainstream entertainment. We are starting a revolution that won't be ignored, it's a special time to be alive when you have charisma and talent that would otherwise be ignored.
C) It's tough to choose between pant suspenders, the domestication of Ferret's and anti-theft lunch bags. It's definitely one of those though but you'll never hear anyone recognise their importance to the advancement of our culture. Comfortable trousers, intelligent companionship and sandwich protection are the bedrocks of any advanced civilisation.
Results
Mostly A's
You consider yourself to be Morally Very Just (MVJ)
MVJ's tend to be very tied to tradition and social acceptance. They find themselves most comfortable when they are moving in the same direction as everyone else. They are hesitant to do anything that others may object to. They tend to be subconsciously adverse to stepping outside of their comfort zone and often stick rigidly to tradition and routine to maintain the safety blanket of familiarity.
MVJ's think they know what's best because they have been taught it by others more experienced than them. They have a firm belief in justice, and that good will always prevail over evil, even if evidence suggests otherwise.They prefer to seek consensus agreement than challenge the status quo, and will never willingly provoke another. They consider themselves good members of society and strive for acceptance by their peers.
The biggest risk that MVJ's face is that in their efforts to remain socially acceptable, in their rigid adherence to what they think is expected of them, they end up being no different to the vast majority of others around them. They become indistinguishable from the worker in the cubicle next to them. Their reluctance to rock the boat and draw attention to themselves for something unexpected puts them at risk of melting into the crowd, just another face, anonymous and forgettable.
Of course MVJ's can become successful and rise to prominent positions in their chosen fields, a steady and deliberate approach can reap it's rewards, however they will rarely, if ever, reach the very top. An MVJ will almost always be overlooked in favour of someone who stands out from the crowd more, that is willing to think outside of the box and can inspire others. An MVJ could be Secretary for Agricultural Affairs, but never President, the winner of Best Supporting Actor at the Emmy's, but never a leading Oscar.
There is one scenario that an MVJ can reach the very top of their chosen field and also be the best person for the role, and that is in times of crisis. When the walls are falling down around you, when the rat's are jumping ship and the future looks bleak, you can trust an MVJ to steady the ship, and calmly assess the situation. If devastation is on the horizon, look for the MVJ's, otherwise they're best placed in a support role.
Mostly B's
You consider yourself Totally Perfect (TP)
A TP is full of confidence and self-belief. They strive to be at the front of the pack, they want all eyes to be on them. They rarely consider that there might be consequences to their actions, because they are so sure of their gut instinct. They will do anything they think will impress those around them in an effort to stand out and shine, even at the cost of others.
TP's rarely second guess themselves, and often only recognise the flaws in their decision making after the fact. They will do something they don’t necessarily agree to if they are incentivised to do so, and therefore there moral compass is highly flexible. A TP strives to be at the forefront of trends and pop culture, in hops to become an important member of society that others envy and adore.
The biggest risk that TP's face is being blinded by their own arrogance, combined with their need for adoration can lead to them becoming surrounded by sycophants who will do nothing to stop even their most destructive decisions. Due to a TP's efforts to stand out from the crowd when they do make mistakes they are not quickly forgotten. A TP's brash appearance and willingness to speak their mind can make them a polarizing figure, often making more detractors than fans.
TP's aim high and they either fail to reach the pinnacle in a spectacular fashion due to over-estimating their skills, or when they do they it's often not long until they find themselves in free fall after their ego inevitably cause their downfall. TP's are the CEO's that are removed by the board two months into their tenure after making sexist comments in an interview. A TP would be the President of the USA that would press the big red button purely to be the first to do so this millennium. TP's want to be the best, they want the power and always think they can do better than the person that overshadows them, but in reality when they do gain that power and position they are quickly exposed as under-qualified and unprepared.
TP's are best utilised in positions that draw attention to a company/establishment/production, but it should not be a role that can affect the credibility of the organisation. The only thing they should be trusted with being in charge of is the office Christmas party, and even then they should be strictly monitored. They do however make great motivators when they meet those that are more naive, and you will find many a TP has written a self help book or holds over-priced self help seminars with names like 'How to Unlock your Inner-Millionaire', 'White Trash to White House' and 'Why U is the Most Important Letter'.
Mostly's C's
You consider yourself Hyper Opinionated (HO)
A HO firmly believes they see things that others don't, that they are the only unique flake in a snowstorm, that they face a constant upstream struggle against the masses each and every day. They despair in this set of circumstances, but they also revel in it. The very thing that frustrates them into fits of snark and sarcasm, also fuels their passion and defines their very identity. If too many people agreed with an HO they would naturally reject that premise in favour of something more niche otherwise their sense of individualistic identity would be compromised, regardless of the results.
Of course an HO's opinion is the only one that matters, because it is highly unlikely anyone has taken the time and effort to appreciate the finer details. Therefore no matter how many others agree with a contrary point they couldn’t possibly understand the context of the HO's superior unique perspective. An HO tends to secretly seek acceptance, but is too committed to their lifestyle approach to facilitate it.
An HO's biggest risk is what they see as being more well informed and appreciative of more complex and discerning tastes, others consider to be pretentious douchbaggery being used to hide a crippling inferiority complex and lack of any discernable use to the society the HO so publicly rejects, but refuses to shun completely. HO's can often find themselves lonely and isolated, not because others disagree with them, but because they are unbearable to anyone apart from those that start drinking before lunch and feed off of cynicism and bitterness, who revel in dragging others down to their level.
Despite some of the negatives HO's are not often stupid people, and often can learn the tools of whatever trade they are in relatively swiftly. Their knowledge and expertise are often of the caliber for advancement, but due to their ability to get in their own way the opportunities are frequently missed. The HO often chooses highlighting negatives and ignoring positives that outweigh them, any success they have will be less than their abilities could potentially earn due to this approach.
It's hard to place an HO in a role that would suit them, as whatever position they are in they will somehow conspire with themselves to make others look unfavourably on it eventually. They are often too inconsistent to be leaders as they tend towards crippling self-loathing that leads to erratic behaviour and poor decision making skills. Unfortunately the best scenario for an HO is to be a trust fund kid or a lottery winner, then they can afford to do whatever they want without the risk of any real pressure or responsibility under the weight of which an HO would undoubtedly buckle.
Neither A, B, nor C are higher than the others, in fact most of the choices were ridiculous
You consider yourself Trepidatiously Realistic (TR)
Congratulations! TR's are a well adjusted human beings that recognises both their strengths and weaknesses. They know their limitations and don't see the world through rose-tinted glasses. A TR know's what they want to achieve, and are realistic about how to get there. A TR is not naïve, neither do they consider themselves infallible. They have the ability to use mistakes as learning experiences. They know the world can be cruel and punishing at times but always know they can survive and rebuild even after devastation. TR's also don't need several paragraphs telling them what they are, because a TR is more than aware of what they are capable of, unlike the sociopaths, narcissists and average joes above.
