Post by Lord Hastings on Oct 6, 2016 19:58:21 GMT -5
Hastings: You’ve got it all set up?
Peterson: Yes, everything is all set.
Hastings: And you got a good picture, yes? One that looks like me?
Peterson: It’s a picture of you, so it looks like you, yes.
Hastings: Well I don’t always look like me. Sometimes I’m in disguise.
Peterson: Yes, of course.
Donovan and Owen are sitting in the living room, Donovan reclined on the couch while Owen has his phone.
Hastings: So I’m on the tweeter.
Peterson: Twitter.
Hastings: Do you twit or tweet?
Peterson: You tweet.
Hastings: Then it’s the tweeter.
Peterson: It’s Twitter.
Hastings: It’s already stupid is what it is. So go ahead. Twit something.
Peterson: What do you want me to say?
Hastings: I don’t know. It is time to do the twitter.
Peterson: Okay.
Owen tweets.
Hastings: Impart some of my wisdom to the world, that is a good idea. Share a deep thought.
Peterson: Let me know when you have one.
Hastings: Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine. Twit that. Confucious got nothing on me.
Owen tweets.
Peterson: You know they call this social media, yes? It’s designed to interact with people.
Hastings: The little people, surely.
Peterson: You should respond to something somebody else said.
Hastings: Fine, find something to respond to.
Peterson: Well, you and Dave are defending the Co-Op Titles against Vidas and JK on Synergy, right?
Hastings: I don’t know who “Dave” is.
Peterson: JK has been tweeting about the match.
Hastings: Somebody from out of the crowd, perhaps? Couldn’t be worse than Rydell. I’d prefer a “Fred” though. Freds tend to be trustworthy fellows.
Peterson: JK seems to consider the title shot an unexpected surprise.
Hastings: Twit him that the early bird gets the word, but it is the second mouse that gets the cheese.
Peterson: I have no idea what that means, but by all means let’s send it into cyberspace for all eternity.
Owen tweets.
Hastings: Hashtag something too. I don’t care what.
Peterson: Look at this, Rogan is following you already.
Hastings: I don’t need stalkers. Tell him to fuck off.
Owen tweets.
Peterson: Followers on Twitter is a good thing though.
Hastings: Well people should follow me. I am their Lord after all. I was born to be followed. Let Rogan know that.
Peterson: Right.
Owen tweets.
Hastings: We need a slogan or something too, it’s election season. Honk if you like peace and quiet. Go with that.
Peterson: Sure, why not.
Owen tweets.
Hastings: We shall smile favorably over all that follow me.
Peterson: Eden followed you.
Hastings: Yes, she always knows how to follow.
Owen starts to get up.
Hastings: Where are you going?
Peterson: I’ll be right back, I have to pee.
Hastings: Not now, we are twitting. Sit down, you can pee later when you get me a soda.
Owen grumbles, sits down, and tweets.
Hastings: Bathroom breaks are for the weak and unkempt. Twit that.
Owen tweets.
Peterson: You should follow people too, build your social circle.
Hastings: Don’t be stupid. People follow their Lord. He does not follow them.
Peterson: Twitter suggests people that you should follow. Like Chaos.
Hastings: That’s the stupidest thing you’ve said in the last twelve seconds. Put Twitter in its place.
Owen tweets.
Hastings: Now, I want Killian insulted daily.
Peterson: Okay.
Hastings: Come over here so I can look over your shoulder.
Owen rolls his eyes and complies.
Hastings: What’s the heart for?
Peterson: You do that when you like a tweet.
Hastings: Click it then, I like that one.
Peterson: It’s your own tweet.
Hastings: That’s probably why I like it then.
Peterson: Would you like your own post on Facebook?
Hastings: Of course. It would be brilliant.
Peterson: Right, of course you would.
Hastings: Let Killian know I hate him.
Peterson: Should you maybe be spending your preparing for your title defense instead of tweeting?
Hastings: I’m not twitting. You’re doing it for me.
Peterson: But really.
Hastings: We’re talking about Vidas and JK, right? As long as Rydell doesn’t get in the way we’ll be fine. In fact, let’s take care of that right now. Twit Chaos and tell him Rydell has his beer.
Owen tweets.
Peterson: Vidas says that their title shot is well earned and well deserved, and that they are leaving with the titles.
Hastings: Tell the peasant to get on his knees.
Owen tweets.
Peterson: Listen I really need to take a break.
Hastings: Fine. Give me the phone so I can like all the good posts.
Peterson: Yes, everything is all set.
Hastings: And you got a good picture, yes? One that looks like me?
Peterson: It’s a picture of you, so it looks like you, yes.
Hastings: Well I don’t always look like me. Sometimes I’m in disguise.
Peterson: Yes, of course.
Donovan and Owen are sitting in the living room, Donovan reclined on the couch while Owen has his phone.
Hastings: So I’m on the tweeter.
Peterson: Twitter.
Hastings: Do you twit or tweet?
Peterson: You tweet.
Hastings: Then it’s the tweeter.
Peterson: It’s Twitter.
Hastings: It’s already stupid is what it is. So go ahead. Twit something.
Peterson: What do you want me to say?
Hastings: I don’t know. It is time to do the twitter.
Peterson: Okay.
Owen tweets.
Hastings: Impart some of my wisdom to the world, that is a good idea. Share a deep thought.
Peterson: Let me know when you have one.
Hastings: Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine. Twit that. Confucious got nothing on me.
Owen tweets.
Peterson: You know they call this social media, yes? It’s designed to interact with people.
Hastings: The little people, surely.
Peterson: You should respond to something somebody else said.
Hastings: Fine, find something to respond to.
Peterson: Well, you and Dave are defending the Co-Op Titles against Vidas and JK on Synergy, right?
Hastings: I don’t know who “Dave” is.
Peterson: JK has been tweeting about the match.
Hastings: Somebody from out of the crowd, perhaps? Couldn’t be worse than Rydell. I’d prefer a “Fred” though. Freds tend to be trustworthy fellows.
Peterson: JK seems to consider the title shot an unexpected surprise.
Hastings: Twit him that the early bird gets the word, but it is the second mouse that gets the cheese.
Peterson: I have no idea what that means, but by all means let’s send it into cyberspace for all eternity.
Owen tweets.
Hastings: Hashtag something too. I don’t care what.
Peterson: Look at this, Rogan is following you already.
Hastings: I don’t need stalkers. Tell him to fuck off.
Owen tweets.
Peterson: Followers on Twitter is a good thing though.
Hastings: Well people should follow me. I am their Lord after all. I was born to be followed. Let Rogan know that.
Peterson: Right.
Owen tweets.
Hastings: We need a slogan or something too, it’s election season. Honk if you like peace and quiet. Go with that.
Peterson: Sure, why not.
Owen tweets.
Hastings: We shall smile favorably over all that follow me.
Peterson: Eden followed you.
Hastings: Yes, she always knows how to follow.
Owen starts to get up.
Hastings: Where are you going?
Peterson: I’ll be right back, I have to pee.
Hastings: Not now, we are twitting. Sit down, you can pee later when you get me a soda.
Owen grumbles, sits down, and tweets.
Hastings: Bathroom breaks are for the weak and unkempt. Twit that.
Owen tweets.
Peterson: You should follow people too, build your social circle.
Hastings: Don’t be stupid. People follow their Lord. He does not follow them.
Peterson: Twitter suggests people that you should follow. Like Chaos.
Hastings: That’s the stupidest thing you’ve said in the last twelve seconds. Put Twitter in its place.
Owen tweets.
Hastings: Now, I want Killian insulted daily.
Peterson: Okay.
Hastings: Come over here so I can look over your shoulder.
Owen rolls his eyes and complies.
Hastings: What’s the heart for?
Peterson: You do that when you like a tweet.
Hastings: Click it then, I like that one.
Peterson: It’s your own tweet.
Hastings: That’s probably why I like it then.
Peterson: Would you like your own post on Facebook?
Hastings: Of course. It would be brilliant.
Peterson: Right, of course you would.
Hastings: Let Killian know I hate him.
Peterson: Should you maybe be spending your preparing for your title defense instead of tweeting?
Hastings: I’m not twitting. You’re doing it for me.
Peterson: But really.
Hastings: We’re talking about Vidas and JK, right? As long as Rydell doesn’t get in the way we’ll be fine. In fact, let’s take care of that right now. Twit Chaos and tell him Rydell has his beer.
Owen tweets.
Peterson: Vidas says that their title shot is well earned and well deserved, and that they are leaving with the titles.
Hastings: Tell the peasant to get on his knees.
Owen tweets.
Peterson: Listen I really need to take a break.
Hastings: Fine. Give me the phone so I can like all the good posts.