Post by Lord Hastings on Aug 10, 2017 16:02:46 GMT -5
Todd the Intern returns from his lunch break, sipping on his soda from Big Belly Burger.
He nearly spits out the soda upon entering his cubicle, finding Donovan waiting for him.
Hastings: Careful there. I paid attention during the infant CPR class, didn’t have any use for the adult equivalent.
Todd: Can I help you?
Hastings: How long have you been interning here? Like six years?
Todd: Seven.
Hastings: And they still have you tucked here in a glorified closet.
Todd: Why are you here, Dono-
Donovan glares at him.
Todd: Erm, Lord Hastings?
Hastings: In a few weeks, there is going to be a vote for In Your Hands, and I need the fans to elect me as the challenge to Gabriel Baal. This demands a multifaceted approach.
Donovan gets up from the chair and sits on the desk. He motions towards the chair.
Hastings: That’s where you come in. Sit.
Todd cautiously sits down.
Todd: How do I help you with that?
Hastings: I’m going to win this triple threat with Zane and Gabby on Synergy, and that’s going to be a strong statement in itself, but fans can be fickle. They like shiny objects. We need something with more pizazz.
Todd: More pizazz.
Hastings: I presume Ooley keeps you around for more than an echo.
Todd: Did you have something in mind?
Hastings: Of course. It has come to my attention that we are releasing a new video game.
Todd: What about it?
Hastings: I’m not featured.
Todd: What do you mean? You’re in it.
Hastings: But I’m not featured. There’s a “Wild Card Edition” all about Jet Somers, but nothing shines the spotlight on the greatest Entertainment Professional in our history.
Todd: There’s the Wild Card Edition.
Hastings: Again with the echo.
Todd: What does this have to do with me?
Hastings: We’re going to need some Hastings storyline DLC.
Todd: I’m not involved with-
Hastings: You’ve been Ooley’s intern for an unbelievably long time. I’m sure you can make it happen.
Todd: You want us to develop this content, publish it before In Your Hands, and it is somehow going to help you with votes.
Hastings: When people twit #VoteHastings you’ll send them a voucher code to download it for free.
Todd: For free, so, wait, hold on. I will send it to them?
Hastings: Sure. Owen is busy with other things anyway.
Todd: And why am I going to do this?
Hastings: You’ve been an unpaid intern for longer than it would have taken you to go through medical school. Why do you do anything?
Todd sighs.
Todd: So what matches do you want included?
Hastings: My most significant, obviously.
Todd: Horizons matches?
Hastings: Definitely.
Todd: Problem is your Horizons IV main event against Jet is already in the Wild Card Edition content.
Hastings: That’s fine, we don’t want to include that anyway. In fact, when you purchase this DLC, it should delete that match from his campaign. True fans don’t want to play it anyway. Sin City. 2014. Put that match in.
Todd: Including when Eden immediately beat you?
Hastings: You know what, Sin City isn’t in the game, right? You’d have to program in the arena, all that extra work. We’ll leave that one alone.
Todd: The Sin City arena is unlockable content, it’s actually no prob-
Hastings: We were talking about my great Horizons matches.
Todd: Right, so, the Dragon’s Cave is in the game, so we can do your Horizons V match against Kiseragi.
Hastings: No.
Todd: Your Vigilante Match against Travis Roberts.
Hastings: Nope.
Todd: Last year you challenged Killian for-
Hastings: Negatron.
Todd: Okay, so the big Horizons match we are going to include in your campaign is your Horizons IX match against Dave Rydell.
Hastings: I’ve won other matches at Horizons.
Todd: So we can use your matches with Rydell and Cypress.
Hastings: And Pax.
Todd: The problem with that is that Zeke isn’t in the game.
Hastings: So add him.
Todd: So, when we promote the...what do you want to call it?
Hastings: The Inevitable Collection.
Todd: Sure, so one of the selling points of The Inevitable Collection will be that you get Ezekiel Pax as a playable character.
Donovan drums his fingers on the table.
Hastings: Maybe we DO include those other matches, and the goal is that you are righting the wrongs of history.
Todd: Reminding the player that, historically, you DID lose.
Hastings: Scrap that.
Donovan leans back into the cubicle wall, nearly knocking it over before he catches himself. He glares at Todd, who shrugs.
Hastings: It’s looking like I need a professional…
He nearly spits out the soda upon entering his cubicle, finding Donovan waiting for him.
Hastings: Careful there. I paid attention during the infant CPR class, didn’t have any use for the adult equivalent.
Todd: Can I help you?
Hastings: How long have you been interning here? Like six years?
Todd: Seven.
Hastings: And they still have you tucked here in a glorified closet.
Todd: Why are you here, Dono-
Donovan glares at him.
Todd: Erm, Lord Hastings?
Hastings: In a few weeks, there is going to be a vote for In Your Hands, and I need the fans to elect me as the challenge to Gabriel Baal. This demands a multifaceted approach.
Donovan gets up from the chair and sits on the desk. He motions towards the chair.
Hastings: That’s where you come in. Sit.
Todd cautiously sits down.
Todd: How do I help you with that?
Hastings: I’m going to win this triple threat with Zane and Gabby on Synergy, and that’s going to be a strong statement in itself, but fans can be fickle. They like shiny objects. We need something with more pizazz.
Todd: More pizazz.
Hastings: I presume Ooley keeps you around for more than an echo.
Todd: Did you have something in mind?
Hastings: Of course. It has come to my attention that we are releasing a new video game.
Todd: What about it?
Hastings: I’m not featured.
Todd: What do you mean? You’re in it.
Hastings: But I’m not featured. There’s a “Wild Card Edition” all about Jet Somers, but nothing shines the spotlight on the greatest Entertainment Professional in our history.
Todd: There’s the Wild Card Edition.
Hastings: Again with the echo.
Todd: What does this have to do with me?
Hastings: We’re going to need some Hastings storyline DLC.
Todd: I’m not involved with-
Hastings: You’ve been Ooley’s intern for an unbelievably long time. I’m sure you can make it happen.
Todd: You want us to develop this content, publish it before In Your Hands, and it is somehow going to help you with votes.
Hastings: When people twit #VoteHastings you’ll send them a voucher code to download it for free.
Todd: For free, so, wait, hold on. I will send it to them?
Hastings: Sure. Owen is busy with other things anyway.
Todd: And why am I going to do this?
Hastings: You’ve been an unpaid intern for longer than it would have taken you to go through medical school. Why do you do anything?
Todd sighs.
Todd: So what matches do you want included?
Hastings: My most significant, obviously.
Todd: Horizons matches?
Hastings: Definitely.
Todd: Problem is your Horizons IV main event against Jet is already in the Wild Card Edition content.
Hastings: That’s fine, we don’t want to include that anyway. In fact, when you purchase this DLC, it should delete that match from his campaign. True fans don’t want to play it anyway. Sin City. 2014. Put that match in.
Todd: Including when Eden immediately beat you?
Hastings: You know what, Sin City isn’t in the game, right? You’d have to program in the arena, all that extra work. We’ll leave that one alone.
Todd: The Sin City arena is unlockable content, it’s actually no prob-
Hastings: We were talking about my great Horizons matches.
Todd: Right, so, the Dragon’s Cave is in the game, so we can do your Horizons V match against Kiseragi.
Hastings: No.
Todd: Your Vigilante Match against Travis Roberts.
Hastings: Nope.
Todd: Last year you challenged Killian for-
Hastings: Negatron.
Todd: Okay, so the big Horizons match we are going to include in your campaign is your Horizons IX match against Dave Rydell.
Hastings: I’ve won other matches at Horizons.
Todd: So we can use your matches with Rydell and Cypress.
Hastings: And Pax.
Todd: The problem with that is that Zeke isn’t in the game.
Hastings: So add him.
Todd: So, when we promote the...what do you want to call it?
Hastings: The Inevitable Collection.
Todd: Sure, so one of the selling points of The Inevitable Collection will be that you get Ezekiel Pax as a playable character.
Donovan drums his fingers on the table.
Hastings: Maybe we DO include those other matches, and the goal is that you are righting the wrongs of history.
Todd: Reminding the player that, historically, you DID lose.
Hastings: Scrap that.
Donovan leans back into the cubicle wall, nearly knocking it over before he catches himself. He glares at Todd, who shrugs.
Hastings: It’s looking like I need a professional…
