Post by Lord Hastings on Aug 16, 2017 19:35:35 GMT -5
Donovan whistles his own theme music as he strolls into the office of Travis Pierce and Rob Cartwright. The latter is writing on a notepad, but quickly springs to his feet to intercept Donovan as he comes in.
Cartwright: Hold on, you can’t just-
Rob is cut off as Donovan puts his fingers to his own lips and shushes him.
Hastings: The adults are going to speak. Well, one adult is going to speak, anyway.
Donovan gestures to brush Rob aside.
Pierce: It’s okay.
Rob reluctantly steps aside.
Pierce: What are you doing here, Donovan?
Hastings: I’d like to borrow your Owen.
Pierce: My Owen?
Donovan nods towards Cartwright.
Cartwright: My name is Rob!
Pierce looks back and forth between Donovan and Cartwright and shrugs his shoulders.
Pierce: Sure, why not.
Cartwright: What!?!
Pierce: It’s fine.
Cartwright: You’re not even going to ask him why?
Pierce: Right, okay. Why do you want him?
Hastings: I’m in the middle of this big campaign for In Your Hands, and your pet here has a specific set of skills that would useful, it’s not quite in my Owen’s wheelhouse.
Pierce: Fair point.
Cartwright: He used to drag me around in chains!
Hastings: Yeah, I don’t remember why I did that. I’m sure you deserved it.
Cartwright stares at Pierce in disbelief. Pierce shrugs again.
Pierce: I mean, I’m cool with it. Just bring him back in one piece and not bleeding. Let’s go with not in chains.
Cartwright: What!?!?!
Hastings: Come, PiercedOwen! We have much work to do.
Donovan herds Cartwright out of the office.
Fade in on Donovan, looking directly at the camera.
Hello, delightful fans of UGWC. You have a heavy burden on your shoulders. This week you are casting your vote for who is going to challenge Gabriel Baal for the World Heavyweight Championship in the main event of In Your Hands. You might be tempted to vote for Gabrielle Montgomery.
I get the temptation. You might think she is pretty, and sure, she is. You think to yourself, she’s made her way around to just about everybody else, maybe she’ll get to me too, and when she does she’ll like that I voted for her and I can get a happy ending. But happy endings and Gabby don’t go together as often as you think.
In fact, despite her occasional claims that she likes beating me up, it really doesn’t go down that way. Back in the old days of GIW, I made her quit in ruthless fashion. She faced me years ago in UGWC in the Global Challenge, and she lost that day too, and of course my defeat of her last month at WrestleStock is fresh in your mind. Simply put, I am better than Gabby, and you want a talented World Champ that you can respect.
So you won’t cast your vote for Gabrielle Montgomery. You’ll cast your vote for Donovan Hastings.
And after you’ve voted me into the main event of In Your Hands, I am going to beat Gabriel Baal for the World Heavyweight Championship, because I’m better than Gabriel Baal too.
Gabriel Baal gives himself an advantage when he gets in the heads of his opponents. He prides himself on this, picks apart his prey and gives himself a psychological advantage. He whispers those sweet nothings in their ear. Doesn’t work on me. I’m not listening.
Donovan plugs his ears and closes his eyes.
Nyah nyah, blah blah.
Donovan unplugs his ears and winks to the camera.
Hashtag...Vote Hastings.
Fade to #VoteHastings.
Cartwright: You’re sure this is how to want to play this?
Hastings: What do you mean?
Cartwright: I mean, your entire rationale for why people should vote for you over Gabby is that you’re better than her because you always beat her.
Hastings: I do always beat her. It’s simple logic, Rob.
Cartwright: I get that, but doesn’t Zane always beat you?
Donovan stares at Rob.
Cartwright: I mean he flat out crushed you at In Your Hands that one year, you were out for months after that, beat you for the World Title at Battleground, hell, when you and Roberts were the Cooperative Champions, wasn’t it Eden and Zane that beat you guys?
Donovan continues to stare at him.
Hastings: I remember why I dragged you around in chains.
Fade in on Donovan, looking directly at the camera.
Hello, delectable fans of UGWC. You have a heavy burden on your shoulders. This week you are casting your vote for who is going to challenge Gabriel Baal for the World Heavyweight Championship in the main event of In Your Hands. You might be tempted to vote for Zane Scott.
I see the appeal. Zane has that lovable villain zeal to him. You can picture him sitting in his hidden lair, watching four monitors while he pets a cat. Here’s the problem, though. Zane Scott is the kind of person that puts his lair in some old theater in Germany where you can still smoke and in the corner there is a donkey playing the piano. That certainly isn’t the type of lair I want for my World Heavyweight Champion.
UGWC needs a World Heavyweight Champion that can build a proper lair, like I did years ago with the Dungeon of Pain. Zane couldn’t twirl a mustache, hell, I bet he couldn’t even grow a mustache. Me? I don’t even need one.
Donovan pretends to twirl an imaginary mustache.
So you won’t cast your vote for Zane Scott. You’ll cast your vote for Donovan Hastings.
And after you’ve voted me into the main event of In Your Hands, I am going to beat Gabriel Baal for the World Heavyweight Championship, because he can’t build a good lair either. That whole Angelfields thing? That was a faux evil lair if I’ve ever seen one. Talk about amateur hour.
And therein lies the problem, doesn’t it? Gabriel Baal hasn’t shown us anything yet to let us believe there is a deeper substance to him. He is smoke and mirrors, and that sort of trickery helps people to underestimate you, helps you to win championships, but it is a hell of a lot harder to defend a championship. Twice has Baal won the Cross-Hemisphere Title, and both times he had it torn away at the first opportunity. All that “success” that the Engine of Chaos had, if you can really look back on it in a positive way, it was four collapsing pillars that fell into each other and managed to hold each other up, because they couldn’t stand on their own.
UGWC needs a strong and established champion that can bring stability.
Donovan winks to the camera.
Hastings...Vote Hastings.
Fade to #VoteHastings.
This remarkable downloadable content will enhance your UGWC 2K17 experience and make the game truly playable for the first time by introducing a storyline campaign for 'The Lord of Pain' Donovan Hastings. Take control of the Immortal Entertainment Professional as you replay some of the greatest victories in this remarkable career. Best of all, you can receive a free voucher code for this fantastic content by tweeting #VoteHastings and showing your support today!
This content includes:
Cartwright: Hold on, you can’t just-
Rob is cut off as Donovan puts his fingers to his own lips and shushes him.
Hastings: The adults are going to speak. Well, one adult is going to speak, anyway.
Donovan gestures to brush Rob aside.
Pierce: It’s okay.
Rob reluctantly steps aside.
Pierce: What are you doing here, Donovan?
Hastings: I’d like to borrow your Owen.
Pierce: My Owen?
Donovan nods towards Cartwright.
Cartwright: My name is Rob!
Pierce looks back and forth between Donovan and Cartwright and shrugs his shoulders.
Pierce: Sure, why not.
Cartwright: What!?!
Pierce: It’s fine.
Cartwright: You’re not even going to ask him why?
Pierce: Right, okay. Why do you want him?
Hastings: I’m in the middle of this big campaign for In Your Hands, and your pet here has a specific set of skills that would useful, it’s not quite in my Owen’s wheelhouse.
Pierce: Fair point.
Cartwright: He used to drag me around in chains!
Hastings: Yeah, I don’t remember why I did that. I’m sure you deserved it.
Cartwright stares at Pierce in disbelief. Pierce shrugs again.
Pierce: I mean, I’m cool with it. Just bring him back in one piece and not bleeding. Let’s go with not in chains.
Cartwright: What!?!?!
Hastings: Come, PiercedOwen! We have much work to do.
Donovan herds Cartwright out of the office.
Fade in on Donovan, looking directly at the camera.
Hello, delightful fans of UGWC. You have a heavy burden on your shoulders. This week you are casting your vote for who is going to challenge Gabriel Baal for the World Heavyweight Championship in the main event of In Your Hands. You might be tempted to vote for Gabrielle Montgomery.
I get the temptation. You might think she is pretty, and sure, she is. You think to yourself, she’s made her way around to just about everybody else, maybe she’ll get to me too, and when she does she’ll like that I voted for her and I can get a happy ending. But happy endings and Gabby don’t go together as often as you think.
In fact, despite her occasional claims that she likes beating me up, it really doesn’t go down that way. Back in the old days of GIW, I made her quit in ruthless fashion. She faced me years ago in UGWC in the Global Challenge, and she lost that day too, and of course my defeat of her last month at WrestleStock is fresh in your mind. Simply put, I am better than Gabby, and you want a talented World Champ that you can respect.
So you won’t cast your vote for Gabrielle Montgomery. You’ll cast your vote for Donovan Hastings.
And after you’ve voted me into the main event of In Your Hands, I am going to beat Gabriel Baal for the World Heavyweight Championship, because I’m better than Gabriel Baal too.
Gabriel Baal gives himself an advantage when he gets in the heads of his opponents. He prides himself on this, picks apart his prey and gives himself a psychological advantage. He whispers those sweet nothings in their ear. Doesn’t work on me. I’m not listening.
Donovan plugs his ears and closes his eyes.
Nyah nyah, blah blah.
Donovan unplugs his ears and winks to the camera.
Hashtag...Vote Hastings.
Fade to #VoteHastings.
Cartwright: You’re sure this is how to want to play this?
Hastings: What do you mean?
Cartwright: I mean, your entire rationale for why people should vote for you over Gabby is that you’re better than her because you always beat her.
Hastings: I do always beat her. It’s simple logic, Rob.
Cartwright: I get that, but doesn’t Zane always beat you?
Donovan stares at Rob.
Cartwright: I mean he flat out crushed you at In Your Hands that one year, you were out for months after that, beat you for the World Title at Battleground, hell, when you and Roberts were the Cooperative Champions, wasn’t it Eden and Zane that beat you guys?
Donovan continues to stare at him.
Hastings: I remember why I dragged you around in chains.
Fade in on Donovan, looking directly at the camera.
Hello, delectable fans of UGWC. You have a heavy burden on your shoulders. This week you are casting your vote for who is going to challenge Gabriel Baal for the World Heavyweight Championship in the main event of In Your Hands. You might be tempted to vote for Zane Scott.
I see the appeal. Zane has that lovable villain zeal to him. You can picture him sitting in his hidden lair, watching four monitors while he pets a cat. Here’s the problem, though. Zane Scott is the kind of person that puts his lair in some old theater in Germany where you can still smoke and in the corner there is a donkey playing the piano. That certainly isn’t the type of lair I want for my World Heavyweight Champion.
UGWC needs a World Heavyweight Champion that can build a proper lair, like I did years ago with the Dungeon of Pain. Zane couldn’t twirl a mustache, hell, I bet he couldn’t even grow a mustache. Me? I don’t even need one.
Donovan pretends to twirl an imaginary mustache.
So you won’t cast your vote for Zane Scott. You’ll cast your vote for Donovan Hastings.
And after you’ve voted me into the main event of In Your Hands, I am going to beat Gabriel Baal for the World Heavyweight Championship, because he can’t build a good lair either. That whole Angelfields thing? That was a faux evil lair if I’ve ever seen one. Talk about amateur hour.
And therein lies the problem, doesn’t it? Gabriel Baal hasn’t shown us anything yet to let us believe there is a deeper substance to him. He is smoke and mirrors, and that sort of trickery helps people to underestimate you, helps you to win championships, but it is a hell of a lot harder to defend a championship. Twice has Baal won the Cross-Hemisphere Title, and both times he had it torn away at the first opportunity. All that “success” that the Engine of Chaos had, if you can really look back on it in a positive way, it was four collapsing pillars that fell into each other and managed to hold each other up, because they couldn’t stand on their own.
UGWC needs a strong and established champion that can bring stability.
Donovan winks to the camera.
Hastings...Vote Hastings.
Fade to #VoteHastings.
The Inevitable Collection
This remarkable downloadable content will enhance your UGWC 2K17 experience and make the game truly playable for the first time by introducing a storyline campaign for 'The Lord of Pain' Donovan Hastings. Take control of the Immortal Entertainment Professional as you replay some of the greatest victories in this remarkable career. Best of all, you can receive a free voucher code for this fantastic content by tweeting #VoteHastings and showing your support today!
This content includes:
- Your previously downloaded content finally becomes useful in this fantastic story! (Previous DLC required)
- Adds character slots for Alex Stein and Ezekiel Pax, which can actually look like them if you edit the filler dummies using directions you found somewhere on reddit.
- 14 historic matches, as follows:
| No Holds Barred (May 3, 2010) | Donovan Hastings vs Red Fusion (UGWC World Championship) |
| Synergy (November 1, 2010) | Donovan Hastings vs Declan Prescott (UGWC World Championship) |
| Infinity (February 14, 2011) | Donovan Hastings vs Gabrielle Montgomery |
| Battleground (Sept 24, 2012) | Donovan Hastings vs Alex Stein (Cage Match) |
| Horizons (December 10, 2012) | Donovan Hastings vs Ezekiel Pax |
| No Holds Barred (May 6, 2013) | Donovan Hastings vs Ezekiel Pax (Vigilante Match) |
| Horizons (December 9, 2013) | Donovan Hastings vs Cypress Morgan |
| Massive Melee (Mar 17, 2014) | Donovan Hastings vs Remi Monroe (UGWC World Championship) |
| Seven Deadly Sins (Jun 2, 2014) | Donovan Hastings vs Moss Edwards (UGWC World Championship) |
| WrestleStock (July 6, 2014) | Donovan Hastings vs Jet Somers (UGWC World Championship) |
| Kobayashi Maru (April 27, 2015) | Hastings and Roberts vs Rydell and The Mainstreamer (Cooperative Championship) |
| In Your Hands (June 8, 2015) | Hastings and Roberts vs Morgan and Deimos (Cooperative Championship) |
| WrestleStock (July 7, 2017) | Donovan Hastings vs Gabrielle Montgomery |
| In Your Hands (August 21, 2017) | Donovan Hastings vs Gabriel Baal (UGWC World Championship) |
#VoteHastings
2013, '18, '23 
2013 
