Post by Deleted on Oct 28, 2017 19:19:24 GMT -5
An envelope finds its way in the hands of Eden Morgan. The paper making up the envelope is of a fine stock, with a thread count that she would not believe if she was told. She also would have not believed the process which the envelope was made, a process including Wiccans local to the Lacklanland forest performing fertility dances while Lacklanlanders cut down a tree, the three which was then taken to an old processing plant where it was prayed over by virgins under a full moon until the tree lovingly became the paper in her hands. Her name is written in red ink across the front with large looping letters written by a smooth hand. On the backside, she sees that it has been sealed in the old-fashioned way with wax, the image of a firebird in flight pressed into the red blob. Upon opening, a letter and several lavender petals fly out, the purple and white offering a bright contrast to the red ink. As Eden reads, she sees letters that are oddly written, with little hearts dotting every “i” and quite a few small doodle that could only be what would be, in a different medium of communication, emoticons.
Dearest Eden,
I would like to lodge a complaint, Ma’am! Several, actually, and I THINK that you are the most logical person to speak to about my grievances. See, during my time in the Coalition, I have had ZERO understanding of who is in charge. Like, do we have a manager? Who signs my paycheck? I have never actually seen one, since I have one of my servants handle that sort of a thing, but is there a name on there other than “Someone from that one wrestling company?” I have noticed that man at the announce booth grumble every time someone cashes in their UGCW Purse winnings in order to ask for a specific match…is HE the person in charge? I really do not know 😒
So, I figure I should come to you with these comments, as you seem to be the defacto leader of the Court. Now, there MAY be a different leader that I have not noticed, and you MAY not have a leader at all, similar to how there is no true “voice” in the Cool Kids, but I know that *I* certainly look to you as the leader of the Court. It certainly couldn’t be Killian, since he’s just kina…well…THERE…ya know? And while I *DO* like Jet, regardless of the things he has had to say to me, because of his coolio legit skills as lead while playing Air Guitar 🤘🏻. Now, I supposed I COULD go to Ichabod, since he seems to be all up in everyone’s crotch in some way, shape, or form, but the whole “ZOMG WE IZ TAKING CONTRL” gig you guys have seems the better choice. I like order. People seem to assume that I am only in this for the whole “burn the world down” thing, but they forget the second part of my mission statement: Rebuild it in God’s glorious image. So while you and I may have an argument on a matter or two, I would say that we are pointed towards the same goal.
First off: Sorry about the whole “OMG YOU IZ SO CRUSTY” thing. That was just me doing my favorite game: Making people think I am some dumb blonde on twitter. You should ask Killian about that. Apparently I am number 5? And I suppose that makes Lucy #4? Who was #1-#3? Like, were they hot? My wife is into blondes and I bet she would love to see pics of them. N-E-Ways, yeah, didn’t mean it. You are SO pretty 😍. For…what…35? I hope I look as good as you do when I practically double my lifespan to reach your venerable age.
Oh! Oh! Speaking of which! Can you PLEASE let all of the Coalition staff know that I AM NOT LUCY’S DAUGHTER?! 😡😡😡😡😡
I don’t know HOW that started. Like, I guess I kinda get it. From the day I showed up at that big ass battle royal thing (Final Four, baby!), Lucy has done her best to STEAL my look. And I get that: I’m smoking hot. Like, not ONLY am I genetically superior to everyone, not ONLY does my albino condition make me, like, a literal Elsa of Arendelle and full of totes cold and terrible beauty, but my fashion sense is UNBELIEVABLE! Like, ever *I* am often blown away by how amazeballs my aesthetic is 😲
So, I get it. She’s wearing my clothes (well, the ones her waist isn’t too round to fit in, anyway 😒), wearing my makeup, and all but turning her hair platinum. I mean, its bad enough that I have to come to work and bump into Magdalena every week before the jobs out in the curtain-jerker, but NOW I have STAFF MEMBERS asking me if she’s my MOM!
DO YOU REALIZE HOW EMBARRASSING THAT IS?!
LUCY WYLDE IS NOT MY MOM 😡😡😡😡😡😡
So please, if you can find the time to flex your Court muscle, make sure that people understand that, NO, our match for the Cross-Hemisphere Championship on Monday is NOT some epic Mother vs. Daughter match. I mean, YES, she is old enough to BE my mother, and YES, some would say that she looks REMARKABLY like my mother-in-law Sidney Grey, but NO, she is NOT my mom and I want the staff to stop asking me! You have NO idea how many times I have had to bust out my freakin’ I.D. to show people that, NO, I am NOT SARAH WYLDE!
Secondly (or maybe fifthly? I’m not going to look back up and check), I would like to again thank you for the Court mask. Now, I’m not SAYING that I am wearing it, like, every night before I go to bed or anything. I’m not SAYING that I have worn it around the dinner table and gotten some odd looks from the beautiful bride who totes has the sweetest booty in all the land. I’m not SAYING that I have included my name in the list of known Court members over and over again on a piece of paper in different orders, like I totes did when I was figuring out what my married name would be…
Sarah Lacklan. Sarah Grey. Sarah Grey-Lacklan. Sarah Lacklan-Grey.
There MAY be as many hearts around “Court Membership….Unstoppable Firestarter” as any of the above name combinations.
So, I am NOT SAYING all of those things happened (which they totes have…including wearing the mask in more…intimate…situations 😇), but…well…they have. I understand you and your group. I understand what you stand for and the message you preach. And I understand, from a lifetime of lessons from someone who you totes would have loved (minus Father’s penchant for racism and anti-Semitism, anyway 😒), the HOW you are doing WHAT you are doing. So allow me to say, much as I did to Baal:
I see you, Eden.
And I like what I see.
Now, if you could take care of those things, I would appreciate it. Oh! Also! Do you have any control over who wrestles who? Like, I know that you guys have been able to get matches cancelled or altered (because I pay attention to things unlike SOME people around here 😒), so can you set something up? See, regardless of who walks out with the Cross-Hemisphere championship, both “Mom” and I will be jonesing for something ELSE to do. YES, we like kicking the snot out of each other, and YES there are thirteen (13!) websites dedicated to the two of us almost grabbing each other’s boobs in our third match, but the two of us are looking for a scenery change. Now, I was just on Pierce’s show and mentioned how doing the Co-Op thing might be fun (even if that means taking them from my FAVORITE SHIP IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD I 💓💓💓💓💓💓 THEM SO MUCH), I would also LOVE a chance to kick Magdalena in the face a few times. I know that, as far as the Coalition is concerned, the only thing she has done is get a sneaky win over me after Lucy smashed in my face (because Mags is a GOOD GUY!), and she has done FUCK ALL since, but I would still like a few kicks into her bullshit fake face.
And after Monday? I am going to need something different to do. Because there isn’t going to be much left of Lucy. Yes yes, I know that she beat me at In Your Hands. But the truth of the matter is that *I* went to my hotel that night with my Beloved and *LUCY* spent the night in the hospital. And yes yes, her team outlasted mine, but that was with Baal by her side. This time? This time there is no stopping me. This time, there is not holding me back. This time, things are different.
See, something that Jet seems to forget in his comments to me about not being able to win the important matches is that, in the grand scheme of things, Lucy and I are 2-2. THAT is reality. I have lead two tag teams over hers, including defeating her with the then-current champ by her side, and it was ONLY BAAL who was able to defeat me at Outlast. She does not have any backup this time. She does not have the advantage of wrestling in with a stipulation that I have never encountered before, this time. This time, she has me in the middle of the ring in a standard match, pin or submission for the fall, and I am VERY hard to beat in that scenario.
Yes yes, I have taken my fair share of losses. But in the Coalition? The only straight-up loss that I have outside of the aforementioned dog collar match is the likewise aforementioned match with Magdalena. But there will be no outside interference. There will be no one in the front row to “watch” my match and sneak up for a double team. There will be no bullshit, mishaps, or mistakes.
And no excuses when I beat her clean in that ring.
And I am going to, Eden. I PROMISE you that. Because I have not spent the last TEN MONTHS telling people that I am the GOD ANNOINTED FUTURE of this business for nothing! YES, I have a tournament victory, YES I have a tag championship, YES I have proven myself VERY difficult to defeat…but I want that singles championship so bad that my hand is shaking as I write this. I will NEVER give back having my first major title being a tag championship with the person who fills my life with light, but we BOTH know that I need to be able to stand on my own and flip off the naysayers and detractors. I need to be able to hold a title around my OWN waste to properly yell out my defiance. AND I WILL HAVE IT.
I am going to hurt Lucy on Monday, Eden. I am going to push her…press her…POUND her…CHOKE HER. I am going to drive her to limits she thought only someone like YOU could and PROVE to all of the Greggory’s, Smyths, and Tolsons of the world that I AM WORTHY of standing with people like you and Lucy. Hell, I am going to PROVE to even KILLIAN to I am worthy of noting my work! And that might be the hardest thing of all to prove!
And after the bell is rung on Monday, I am going to prove to Lucy so thoroughly that I DESERVE to be here that she is going to shake my hand and hand me my new title. Because NOTHING is going to stop me this time. NOTHING is going to keep me from becoming unto legend.
I will NOT stop until I’m legend.
Your obedient,
-Sarah Selena Grey-Lacklan
“KITTY KITTY KITTY KITTY KITTY”
Kitty Galore, the purple-haired Director of Photography for Pride Pro Wrestling, rolled her eyes as her best friend grabbed her and pulled her to the ground. She had not seen her little albino since the wedding, and she was happy to have the giggling red and white ball of fury squeezing her to death. Sarah Lacklan was an odd girl, and wholly different from her in many ways, but they shared a kinship that was epitomized by who both similar and vastly different their upbringings were. Both had been raised in religious compounds, but while Kitty’s relationship with her father had been one of hatred and abuse, Sarah’s had been of love and understanding. As adults, Kitty hated the idea of a creator being, of an entitiy that would cause her and those she loved so much pain, but Sarah’s belief as a Baptist was absolute. They were the yin to one another’s yang, and neither one would have it any other way.
“OMG! You have to tell me about this dude who is laying the pipe!”
Kitty’s face turned a shade of red brighter than even Sarah’s weird eyes.
“Sar Sar!”
Sarah giggled and squeezed Kitty even tighter.
“I WANT THE DEETS!”
Kenzi was there to help them up, shaking her head and calling them weirdos. The three women were in New York for a few days to expo some of Sarah’s new clothing items, the fashion-obsessed albino having started her own line after she left Renati over a public relations incident. Sarah was glad to tap her best friend, outside of Kenzi of course, to be her main photographer, and help support Firestarter Clothing by putting her occasionally odd designs in a good light.
“Come on, you two. There will be plenty of time to talk about Kitty’s new boyfriend over lunch.”
Kenzi tosses one of her long braids back over her shoulder and winks.
“I want to hear about how deep you are getting it too, Kitty.”
Bright red turns an even deeper scarlet.
“Kenzi!”
Sarah and Kenzi share a smile over Kitty’s distress and embarrassment as they head off to their adventures.
Kenzi and Sarah, known in the wrestling world as possibly the worst named tag team in history, Team Kickass, spent three days in New York. While they were certainly there for the business of Sarah’s clothing line, the two were also there as part of their “do-over.” In a story that was so convoluted that even a day-time soap opera would toss the script into the trash bin for being “too unbelievable,” it turns out that the marriage between the two was not legally valid due to Kenzi getting married the previous year during a drinking binge so intense that she had blacked out and forgotten the whole thing. After many misadventures designed to keep them apart and fueled by Kenzi’s evil mother, the two were days away from their paperwork being finished and them being legally married. And in the intermediate time? They were performing “do-overs” and coming to better outcomes than some other parts of their relationship. New York was a big one. Sarah had been on a very inappropriate trip to New York with their friend Angelica Vaughn, though the sweet yet clueless blonde did not realize the weight of the situation, and it had nearly broke them. This was going to be different.
For three days, the duo were up to no good, from laughing over some of the terrible fashion from some of the other designers, to expensive dinners, to sex WITHIN those expensive restaurants in a variety of ways and places, and finding a variety of ways to fluster those around them. Sarah lived for flustering those around her, lived for annoying people, both in person and online. For instance, driven by the annoying reality of looking so much like Lucy Wylde, she had spent a few days parading around online AS Sarah Wylde, calling Lucy her mom. She shivered with glee at the reality that Lucy was no-doubt throwing fits at home over being Sarah’s “mom.”
And while their adventures in New York were nearly a dream, with the two continuing to grow closer than they ever had before, there was a darkness surrounding them that troubled Sarah. Kenzi and one of her best friends, Milisandre Crowthorne, were at each other’s throats over a championship opportunity in Ladies All Star. They two had gotten into several verbal arguments over “betrayal” and how one person has what the other wants, and other things which troubled Sarah. She knew what that was like, to a point, as she desperately wanted to rip away the Cross-Hemisphere championship from Lucy Wylde, but she didn’t understand the parts about betrayal. What had Mil done to betray Kenzi? And why was this professional battle turning so personal?
Sarah had to step in more than once when the two had gone back and forth online. She had distracted Kenzi when she felt they needed a break, usually by busting out “The Naked Man” from How I Met Your Mother, and before you knew it, Kenzi was pleasantly distracted. But the darkness still persisted, though, and she saw some changes in Kenzi that were troubling. Kenzi’s tension had returned, a tightening of her back that went away once she started to find herself in her religion of Scientology, and Sarah had even heard Kenzi say a few things that made her pause. There was even talk of how Kenzi would make a deal with Lucifer himself if it needing doing, and that worried her.
Before they knew it, New York was gone and they were flying to Ohio. Most knew how rich Sarah was, or at least how rich her name was, and that was put on display in a very real way when Kenzi had got into her head that she wanted to be a Lingerie Football League quarterback. So Sarah, being the loving and doting (and enabling!) wife, went out and bought the Cincinnati team which was looking to sell. Over the course of a month, Lacklan Industries and Circle TV embarked on a joint venture for the Hit Girls, a team mostly populated by their Cool Kid friends, and Sarah got together a cheer team, implementing her legitimate talent from high school. The team was not very good, as all but one of them had never played a game of football in their lives, and would end that particular day with another loss and a 1-4 record. And that game included a lack of communication between Kenzi and Mil, who played as a receiving running back, and three interceptions helped lead to their loss.
But Sarah had put forth a plan to bring them all together. She had made it clear to the entire world that they were going to hit up a karaoke bar after the fact and close the place down. She had intended on singing with everyone, had picked out several songs for those who were not as musically-inclined as she and Kenzi, and had invited any and everyone to join them. Thus it was with great hope for friendship and laughs that Sarah arranged for an unending train of wine to be sent her way, regardless of her age and legal ability to drink, and she was ready for them all to find each other again through that friendship and love.
Held at the restaurant bar at the stadium where the Hit Girls had just got freakin’ TROUNCED by a score of 35-7, and still wearing their uniforms of lingerie (including the cheerleaders still wearing there’s! Because GOOOoooooooOOOOOO HIT GIRLS!), there was much in the way of song, laughter, merriment, and drinking.
Lots of drinking.
Perhaps because Sarah had all but stopped drinking when her wife declared she would stop (because of that whole “I ruined the best day of our lives because of a dumb mistake I made a year ago while trashed” thing), and perhaps because of needing to drink away the memory of her team getting utterly DESTROYED out there, and perhaps even because of the nerves of having to face off against Lucy Wylde AGAIN on Monday, Sarah drank a LOT of wine.
~~Sarah’s Beginning Alcohol Level: 0%~~
People were cold to warm up, so Sarah, as per the usual, took on the role of instigator, by dragging Angelica Vaughn up to the front. The two girls sang “Everything is Awesome!” from the Lego Movie, much to the delight of all. The two fell over themselves in giggles as they changed the lyrics to “Everything is Generic!” by the end, and “Everything is Unbalanced!” later on, making in-the-house jokes about opponents who have little to say. The two then performed another duet, this time the slow hymn “At the Cross, Love Ran Red.” The two took their bows as Sarah down some of her wine.
~~Sarah’s Alcohol Level: 7%~~
Roxy Cotton, the plastic bombshell that was the author of numerous scandals, was there to push them off the stage and engage in a glorious rendition of “Barbie Girl.” The entire crowd sang with her whenever the work “Plastic” was said and a great cheer was brought to the group as she nearly showed off her chest…but then shook her finger at them. People have to pay for that!
~~Sarah’s Alcohol Level: 14%~~
REDD Thunder, the hulking man-beast who had, apparently, made sweet love to Kenzi Grey on top of a tank during World War II, was there, as well. He had no affiliation with the group, other than hoping to someday “doink” both members of Team Kickass simultaneously, but everyone loved their mountain-sized friend. He had decided to wear his mask while out on the town, which made perfect since, and everyone was brought to tears with his rendition of “All out of love.”
“ME ALL OUT OF LOVE. ME SO LOST WITHOUT YOU. ME CAN’T BE TOO LATE TO SAY THAT ME WAS SO WRONG.”
Not a dry eye in the audience.
~~Sarah’s Alcohol Level: 37%~~
Sarah was moving slowly as Kenzi took the stage. Sarah had jokingly requested “I like big butts!” when Kenzi had asked her earlier in the day, but Kenzi did not disappoint. The former lead singer of Guilty Pleasure put on the performance of a lifetime as she rapped as well as Mix-A-Lot ever had. She even pulled the slow-moving Sarah on stage to dance, her skirt flying as she did the white girl version of twerking, and the truth being giving to the legend of if she did nor did not wear undergarments when she was a cheerleader.
She did not.
~~Sarah’s Alcohol Level: 59%~~
Ashley Marie Chase pulled her girlfriend Maki up to the stage, who was the newest member of Sarah’s cheer squad, so sing some sappy song no doubt about being completely devoted to each other after, like, three days of being in a relationship. Sarah didn’t like Maki, in fact had often referred to her as “My wife’s girlfriend,” because of how much they liked one another, and REALLY hated how she had recently stolen their “Put up a pic of a hawt chick and comment on something innocuous in the picture bit, but she liked her with AMC. It helped keep AMC’s thirsty ass away from HER!
~~Sarah’s Alcohol Level: 68%~~
Sarah dragged Mil on stage, the two close friends busting out the Runaways’ “I Love Playing with Fire.” The crowd loved it, though a drunken Sarah noticed that Kenzi wasn’t smiling at all, but the crowd asked for me. So the duo sang the other Runaways song available, “You Drive Me Wild,” which called for them to be as close together on the microphone as possible. There were a lot of cat-calls from the audience, though Sarah didn’t notice them, and she REALLY didn’t notice how Kenzi’s frown turned into a full-blown scowl.
~~Sarah’s Alcohol Level: 73%~~
As Sarah made her wobbly way back to her seat, where Kenzi oddly didn’t give her one of their customary fist-bumps that cause falcons to scream in the distance, Mil stayed on stage. She said that she would like to sing a song by herself, though she had never done that before. But she was inspired by something and felt brave.
“Hallelujah,” initially written by Cohen, mastered by Buckley, and now popularized by the Penetonics, use a sad and beautiful song about faith and unrequited love. And the voice of Milisandre Crowthorne, a voice typically small and full of indecision, a voice plagued by “ums” and “likes” and quivering uncertainty, filled the lines with beautiful power. The room was silent as she surprised them all, and as she grew stronger in the singing, and then her brown eyes locked onto the glazed over red of Sarah’s.
Tears filled those brown eyes as she sang. Eyes of the room turned slowly towards Sarah and Kenzi and back to the woman singing on stage. Sarah’s own eyes glimmered with tears, though it was over the beauty of the song and her friend’s surprising talent, the normally perceptive woman lost to her drink. Kenzi’s eyes, however, were filled with sober rage.
~~Sarah’s Alcohol Level: 92%~~
It was a fury-filled Kenzi Grey that stood, looked right in Milisandre’s eyes, and requested that Sarah sing “Love on the Brain.”
Their wedding song.
Milisandre threw down the microphone and stomped off, but Kenzi moved off to meet her. The crowd stayed awards and silent as they watched what turned into a verbal fight, both Kenzi and Mil raising their voices at one another in anger. Sarah, too drunk to realize any of the context of what was quickly turning into a shoving match on the other side of the stage, upended another glass of wine and slipped off by herself to the ladies’ room.
~~Sarah’s Alcohol Level: 100%~~
It is time.
I watch her stumble out of the restroom. I have seen her drunk in ways that no one else has. Seen her plastered. Seen her high. Seen her DRIVEN. I have held back her hair so that she could puke her guts out before we knew limits. I have been there the next morning to help her with hangovers. I know her better than that nigger bitch ever could.
I know how weak she is right now.
I have kept track of her all of these weeks. I know her schedule better than she does. She has not known where I am, though she has sent out hounds to find me, but I good at hiding. Hell, I have hidden in plain sight of the woman who should be MINE for the last few years. Looks right at me and doesn’t see me. But that is going to change right now.
I have watched her antics in New York. I took the time to go to Hollywood, to the apartment that I though was going to be my gift, the place where I thought I was going to be her secret lover, and instead handed off to that wretched bag of bones Sid. I went back there and…well…she will find out soon enough. I had fun.
But now? Now is MY time. Now she is MINE.
I stand in front of her and she bumps into me. I am in the dark so she cannot see me. She smiles up at me, completely drunk.
“Baby? That you?”
She thinks I’m the nigger bitch. Fuck, she’s drunk. Fuck, she’s MINE.
I don’t say anything. I just reach up and pull down the top of the ridiculous uniform. Her breasts flop out. No underwear or bra for the queen, oh no. The fucking whore. But she’s MINE.
“Jeez, baby. Again? I hope you brought Pop!”
Pop. I am DONE with having to listen to them. DONE with having to hear them.
MINE!
I drag her to the floor and am on top of her. She is pulling at my pants, too drunk to realize that I’m not wearing some bullshit fake football outfit like the nigger bitch, and she stops when she feels my hardness.
“You DID bring Pop!”
My hands close around her mouth. Too loud. But this is a mistake. Her eyes open wide as she feels my hands and finally gets a good look at the person on top of her. I look different, have colored my hair and grown a beard, but she recognizes me immediately. She screams into my hand, but I know better. She wants this. I can feel it. I can feel the heat coming from between her legs. I can feel body parts harden.
Just like the good ol’ days.
I hear thunder. Crashing thunder. It must be her heart. She wants this so bad.
MINES.
MINES.
MIN-
* * * * * * * * * *
Sarah clings to the massive arm of REDD Thunder, a blue blanket thrown over her shoulders, her body trembling. Red and blue lights flash as she watches the police take away Jacob Hargrave, the best friend from childhood who had again tried to grape her. A massive knot was already forming on his forehead, where a charging REDD Thunder hand slammed his fist down across his head. Sarah did not know what would have happened if it were not for Thunder noticing that Sarah had disappeared for a long time, the only person in the room who was not focused on Kenzi and Mil starting to pull each other's hair.
Kenzi stood by them, her hands fiddling in front of her, shock and embarrassment plain on her face. Mil was standing far on the other side of the room with Bruce, who was on his cell phone talking to other members of Sarah's "guard," her private security that they had left back at the hotel. Sarah had insisted that they stay away, since she had Bruce with them, and Sarah had a feeling that she would never be able to get away with that again.
The same question filled her head as Jacob was pushed into the police cruiser as it was the night he fled:
Why?
~~FIN~~
Dearest Eden,
I would like to lodge a complaint, Ma’am! Several, actually, and I THINK that you are the most logical person to speak to about my grievances. See, during my time in the Coalition, I have had ZERO understanding of who is in charge. Like, do we have a manager? Who signs my paycheck? I have never actually seen one, since I have one of my servants handle that sort of a thing, but is there a name on there other than “Someone from that one wrestling company?” I have noticed that man at the announce booth grumble every time someone cashes in their UGCW Purse winnings in order to ask for a specific match…is HE the person in charge? I really do not know 😒
So, I figure I should come to you with these comments, as you seem to be the defacto leader of the Court. Now, there MAY be a different leader that I have not noticed, and you MAY not have a leader at all, similar to how there is no true “voice” in the Cool Kids, but I know that *I* certainly look to you as the leader of the Court. It certainly couldn’t be Killian, since he’s just kina…well…THERE…ya know? And while I *DO* like Jet, regardless of the things he has had to say to me, because of his coolio legit skills as lead while playing Air Guitar 🤘🏻. Now, I supposed I COULD go to Ichabod, since he seems to be all up in everyone’s crotch in some way, shape, or form, but the whole “ZOMG WE IZ TAKING CONTRL” gig you guys have seems the better choice. I like order. People seem to assume that I am only in this for the whole “burn the world down” thing, but they forget the second part of my mission statement: Rebuild it in God’s glorious image. So while you and I may have an argument on a matter or two, I would say that we are pointed towards the same goal.
First off: Sorry about the whole “OMG YOU IZ SO CRUSTY” thing. That was just me doing my favorite game: Making people think I am some dumb blonde on twitter. You should ask Killian about that. Apparently I am number 5? And I suppose that makes Lucy #4? Who was #1-#3? Like, were they hot? My wife is into blondes and I bet she would love to see pics of them. N-E-Ways, yeah, didn’t mean it. You are SO pretty 😍. For…what…35? I hope I look as good as you do when I practically double my lifespan to reach your venerable age.
Oh! Oh! Speaking of which! Can you PLEASE let all of the Coalition staff know that I AM NOT LUCY’S DAUGHTER?! 😡😡😡😡😡
I don’t know HOW that started. Like, I guess I kinda get it. From the day I showed up at that big ass battle royal thing (Final Four, baby!), Lucy has done her best to STEAL my look. And I get that: I’m smoking hot. Like, not ONLY am I genetically superior to everyone, not ONLY does my albino condition make me, like, a literal Elsa of Arendelle and full of totes cold and terrible beauty, but my fashion sense is UNBELIEVABLE! Like, ever *I* am often blown away by how amazeballs my aesthetic is 😲
So, I get it. She’s wearing my clothes (well, the ones her waist isn’t too round to fit in, anyway 😒), wearing my makeup, and all but turning her hair platinum. I mean, its bad enough that I have to come to work and bump into Magdalena every week before the jobs out in the curtain-jerker, but NOW I have STAFF MEMBERS asking me if she’s my MOM!
DO YOU REALIZE HOW EMBARRASSING THAT IS?!
LUCY WYLDE IS NOT MY MOM 😡😡😡😡😡😡
So please, if you can find the time to flex your Court muscle, make sure that people understand that, NO, our match for the Cross-Hemisphere Championship on Monday is NOT some epic Mother vs. Daughter match. I mean, YES, she is old enough to BE my mother, and YES, some would say that she looks REMARKABLY like my mother-in-law Sidney Grey, but NO, she is NOT my mom and I want the staff to stop asking me! You have NO idea how many times I have had to bust out my freakin’ I.D. to show people that, NO, I am NOT SARAH WYLDE!
Secondly (or maybe fifthly? I’m not going to look back up and check), I would like to again thank you for the Court mask. Now, I’m not SAYING that I am wearing it, like, every night before I go to bed or anything. I’m not SAYING that I have worn it around the dinner table and gotten some odd looks from the beautiful bride who totes has the sweetest booty in all the land. I’m not SAYING that I have included my name in the list of known Court members over and over again on a piece of paper in different orders, like I totes did when I was figuring out what my married name would be…
Sarah Lacklan. Sarah Grey. Sarah Grey-Lacklan. Sarah Lacklan-Grey.
There MAY be as many hearts around “Court Membership….Unstoppable Firestarter” as any of the above name combinations.
So, I am NOT SAYING all of those things happened (which they totes have…including wearing the mask in more…intimate…situations 😇), but…well…they have. I understand you and your group. I understand what you stand for and the message you preach. And I understand, from a lifetime of lessons from someone who you totes would have loved (minus Father’s penchant for racism and anti-Semitism, anyway 😒), the HOW you are doing WHAT you are doing. So allow me to say, much as I did to Baal:
I see you, Eden.
And I like what I see.
Now, if you could take care of those things, I would appreciate it. Oh! Also! Do you have any control over who wrestles who? Like, I know that you guys have been able to get matches cancelled or altered (because I pay attention to things unlike SOME people around here 😒), so can you set something up? See, regardless of who walks out with the Cross-Hemisphere championship, both “Mom” and I will be jonesing for something ELSE to do. YES, we like kicking the snot out of each other, and YES there are thirteen (13!) websites dedicated to the two of us almost grabbing each other’s boobs in our third match, but the two of us are looking for a scenery change. Now, I was just on Pierce’s show and mentioned how doing the Co-Op thing might be fun (even if that means taking them from my FAVORITE SHIP IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD I 💓💓💓💓💓💓 THEM SO MUCH), I would also LOVE a chance to kick Magdalena in the face a few times. I know that, as far as the Coalition is concerned, the only thing she has done is get a sneaky win over me after Lucy smashed in my face (because Mags is a GOOD GUY!), and she has done FUCK ALL since, but I would still like a few kicks into her bullshit fake face.
And after Monday? I am going to need something different to do. Because there isn’t going to be much left of Lucy. Yes yes, I know that she beat me at In Your Hands. But the truth of the matter is that *I* went to my hotel that night with my Beloved and *LUCY* spent the night in the hospital. And yes yes, her team outlasted mine, but that was with Baal by her side. This time? This time there is no stopping me. This time, there is not holding me back. This time, things are different.
See, something that Jet seems to forget in his comments to me about not being able to win the important matches is that, in the grand scheme of things, Lucy and I are 2-2. THAT is reality. I have lead two tag teams over hers, including defeating her with the then-current champ by her side, and it was ONLY BAAL who was able to defeat me at Outlast. She does not have any backup this time. She does not have the advantage of wrestling in with a stipulation that I have never encountered before, this time. This time, she has me in the middle of the ring in a standard match, pin or submission for the fall, and I am VERY hard to beat in that scenario.
Yes yes, I have taken my fair share of losses. But in the Coalition? The only straight-up loss that I have outside of the aforementioned dog collar match is the likewise aforementioned match with Magdalena. But there will be no outside interference. There will be no one in the front row to “watch” my match and sneak up for a double team. There will be no bullshit, mishaps, or mistakes.
And no excuses when I beat her clean in that ring.
And I am going to, Eden. I PROMISE you that. Because I have not spent the last TEN MONTHS telling people that I am the GOD ANNOINTED FUTURE of this business for nothing! YES, I have a tournament victory, YES I have a tag championship, YES I have proven myself VERY difficult to defeat…but I want that singles championship so bad that my hand is shaking as I write this. I will NEVER give back having my first major title being a tag championship with the person who fills my life with light, but we BOTH know that I need to be able to stand on my own and flip off the naysayers and detractors. I need to be able to hold a title around my OWN waste to properly yell out my defiance. AND I WILL HAVE IT.
I am going to hurt Lucy on Monday, Eden. I am going to push her…press her…POUND her…CHOKE HER. I am going to drive her to limits she thought only someone like YOU could and PROVE to all of the Greggory’s, Smyths, and Tolsons of the world that I AM WORTHY of standing with people like you and Lucy. Hell, I am going to PROVE to even KILLIAN to I am worthy of noting my work! And that might be the hardest thing of all to prove!
And after the bell is rung on Monday, I am going to prove to Lucy so thoroughly that I DESERVE to be here that she is going to shake my hand and hand me my new title. Because NOTHING is going to stop me this time. NOTHING is going to keep me from becoming unto legend.
I will NOT stop until I’m legend.
Your obedient,
-Sarah Selena Grey-Lacklan
Presenting the Ballad of JayBird and SareBear, Part VI: Taken
Kitty Galore, the purple-haired Director of Photography for Pride Pro Wrestling, rolled her eyes as her best friend grabbed her and pulled her to the ground. She had not seen her little albino since the wedding, and she was happy to have the giggling red and white ball of fury squeezing her to death. Sarah Lacklan was an odd girl, and wholly different from her in many ways, but they shared a kinship that was epitomized by who both similar and vastly different their upbringings were. Both had been raised in religious compounds, but while Kitty’s relationship with her father had been one of hatred and abuse, Sarah’s had been of love and understanding. As adults, Kitty hated the idea of a creator being, of an entitiy that would cause her and those she loved so much pain, but Sarah’s belief as a Baptist was absolute. They were the yin to one another’s yang, and neither one would have it any other way.
“OMG! You have to tell me about this dude who is laying the pipe!”
Kitty’s face turned a shade of red brighter than even Sarah’s weird eyes.
“Sar Sar!”
Sarah giggled and squeezed Kitty even tighter.
“I WANT THE DEETS!”
Kenzi was there to help them up, shaking her head and calling them weirdos. The three women were in New York for a few days to expo some of Sarah’s new clothing items, the fashion-obsessed albino having started her own line after she left Renati over a public relations incident. Sarah was glad to tap her best friend, outside of Kenzi of course, to be her main photographer, and help support Firestarter Clothing by putting her occasionally odd designs in a good light.
“Come on, you two. There will be plenty of time to talk about Kitty’s new boyfriend over lunch.”
Kenzi tosses one of her long braids back over her shoulder and winks.
“I want to hear about how deep you are getting it too, Kitty.”
Bright red turns an even deeper scarlet.
“Kenzi!”
Sarah and Kenzi share a smile over Kitty’s distress and embarrassment as they head off to their adventures.
Kenzi and Sarah, known in the wrestling world as possibly the worst named tag team in history, Team Kickass, spent three days in New York. While they were certainly there for the business of Sarah’s clothing line, the two were also there as part of their “do-over.” In a story that was so convoluted that even a day-time soap opera would toss the script into the trash bin for being “too unbelievable,” it turns out that the marriage between the two was not legally valid due to Kenzi getting married the previous year during a drinking binge so intense that she had blacked out and forgotten the whole thing. After many misadventures designed to keep them apart and fueled by Kenzi’s evil mother, the two were days away from their paperwork being finished and them being legally married. And in the intermediate time? They were performing “do-overs” and coming to better outcomes than some other parts of their relationship. New York was a big one. Sarah had been on a very inappropriate trip to New York with their friend Angelica Vaughn, though the sweet yet clueless blonde did not realize the weight of the situation, and it had nearly broke them. This was going to be different.
For three days, the duo were up to no good, from laughing over some of the terrible fashion from some of the other designers, to expensive dinners, to sex WITHIN those expensive restaurants in a variety of ways and places, and finding a variety of ways to fluster those around them. Sarah lived for flustering those around her, lived for annoying people, both in person and online. For instance, driven by the annoying reality of looking so much like Lucy Wylde, she had spent a few days parading around online AS Sarah Wylde, calling Lucy her mom. She shivered with glee at the reality that Lucy was no-doubt throwing fits at home over being Sarah’s “mom.”
And while their adventures in New York were nearly a dream, with the two continuing to grow closer than they ever had before, there was a darkness surrounding them that troubled Sarah. Kenzi and one of her best friends, Milisandre Crowthorne, were at each other’s throats over a championship opportunity in Ladies All Star. They two had gotten into several verbal arguments over “betrayal” and how one person has what the other wants, and other things which troubled Sarah. She knew what that was like, to a point, as she desperately wanted to rip away the Cross-Hemisphere championship from Lucy Wylde, but she didn’t understand the parts about betrayal. What had Mil done to betray Kenzi? And why was this professional battle turning so personal?
Sarah had to step in more than once when the two had gone back and forth online. She had distracted Kenzi when she felt they needed a break, usually by busting out “The Naked Man” from How I Met Your Mother, and before you knew it, Kenzi was pleasantly distracted. But the darkness still persisted, though, and she saw some changes in Kenzi that were troubling. Kenzi’s tension had returned, a tightening of her back that went away once she started to find herself in her religion of Scientology, and Sarah had even heard Kenzi say a few things that made her pause. There was even talk of how Kenzi would make a deal with Lucifer himself if it needing doing, and that worried her.
Before they knew it, New York was gone and they were flying to Ohio. Most knew how rich Sarah was, or at least how rich her name was, and that was put on display in a very real way when Kenzi had got into her head that she wanted to be a Lingerie Football League quarterback. So Sarah, being the loving and doting (and enabling!) wife, went out and bought the Cincinnati team which was looking to sell. Over the course of a month, Lacklan Industries and Circle TV embarked on a joint venture for the Hit Girls, a team mostly populated by their Cool Kid friends, and Sarah got together a cheer team, implementing her legitimate talent from high school. The team was not very good, as all but one of them had never played a game of football in their lives, and would end that particular day with another loss and a 1-4 record. And that game included a lack of communication between Kenzi and Mil, who played as a receiving running back, and three interceptions helped lead to their loss.
But Sarah had put forth a plan to bring them all together. She had made it clear to the entire world that they were going to hit up a karaoke bar after the fact and close the place down. She had intended on singing with everyone, had picked out several songs for those who were not as musically-inclined as she and Kenzi, and had invited any and everyone to join them. Thus it was with great hope for friendship and laughs that Sarah arranged for an unending train of wine to be sent her way, regardless of her age and legal ability to drink, and she was ready for them all to find each other again through that friendship and love.
Cinci Hit Girls/CoolKids & Friends Karaoke Special!!!!
Lots of drinking.
Perhaps because Sarah had all but stopped drinking when her wife declared she would stop (because of that whole “I ruined the best day of our lives because of a dumb mistake I made a year ago while trashed” thing), and perhaps because of needing to drink away the memory of her team getting utterly DESTROYED out there, and perhaps even because of the nerves of having to face off against Lucy Wylde AGAIN on Monday, Sarah drank a LOT of wine.
~~Sarah’s Beginning Alcohol Level: 0%~~
People were cold to warm up, so Sarah, as per the usual, took on the role of instigator, by dragging Angelica Vaughn up to the front. The two girls sang “Everything is Awesome!” from the Lego Movie, much to the delight of all. The two fell over themselves in giggles as they changed the lyrics to “Everything is Generic!” by the end, and “Everything is Unbalanced!” later on, making in-the-house jokes about opponents who have little to say. The two then performed another duet, this time the slow hymn “At the Cross, Love Ran Red.” The two took their bows as Sarah down some of her wine.
~~Sarah’s Alcohol Level: 7%~~
Roxy Cotton, the plastic bombshell that was the author of numerous scandals, was there to push them off the stage and engage in a glorious rendition of “Barbie Girl.” The entire crowd sang with her whenever the work “Plastic” was said and a great cheer was brought to the group as she nearly showed off her chest…but then shook her finger at them. People have to pay for that!
~~Sarah’s Alcohol Level: 14%~~
REDD Thunder, the hulking man-beast who had, apparently, made sweet love to Kenzi Grey on top of a tank during World War II, was there, as well. He had no affiliation with the group, other than hoping to someday “doink” both members of Team Kickass simultaneously, but everyone loved their mountain-sized friend. He had decided to wear his mask while out on the town, which made perfect since, and everyone was brought to tears with his rendition of “All out of love.”
“ME ALL OUT OF LOVE. ME SO LOST WITHOUT YOU. ME CAN’T BE TOO LATE TO SAY THAT ME WAS SO WRONG.”
Not a dry eye in the audience.
~~Sarah’s Alcohol Level: 37%~~
Sarah was moving slowly as Kenzi took the stage. Sarah had jokingly requested “I like big butts!” when Kenzi had asked her earlier in the day, but Kenzi did not disappoint. The former lead singer of Guilty Pleasure put on the performance of a lifetime as she rapped as well as Mix-A-Lot ever had. She even pulled the slow-moving Sarah on stage to dance, her skirt flying as she did the white girl version of twerking, and the truth being giving to the legend of if she did nor did not wear undergarments when she was a cheerleader.
She did not.
~~Sarah’s Alcohol Level: 59%~~
Ashley Marie Chase pulled her girlfriend Maki up to the stage, who was the newest member of Sarah’s cheer squad, so sing some sappy song no doubt about being completely devoted to each other after, like, three days of being in a relationship. Sarah didn’t like Maki, in fact had often referred to her as “My wife’s girlfriend,” because of how much they liked one another, and REALLY hated how she had recently stolen their “Put up a pic of a hawt chick and comment on something innocuous in the picture bit, but she liked her with AMC. It helped keep AMC’s thirsty ass away from HER!
~~Sarah’s Alcohol Level: 68%~~
Sarah dragged Mil on stage, the two close friends busting out the Runaways’ “I Love Playing with Fire.” The crowd loved it, though a drunken Sarah noticed that Kenzi wasn’t smiling at all, but the crowd asked for me. So the duo sang the other Runaways song available, “You Drive Me Wild,” which called for them to be as close together on the microphone as possible. There were a lot of cat-calls from the audience, though Sarah didn’t notice them, and she REALLY didn’t notice how Kenzi’s frown turned into a full-blown scowl.
~~Sarah’s Alcohol Level: 73%~~
As Sarah made her wobbly way back to her seat, where Kenzi oddly didn’t give her one of their customary fist-bumps that cause falcons to scream in the distance, Mil stayed on stage. She said that she would like to sing a song by herself, though she had never done that before. But she was inspired by something and felt brave.
“Hallelujah,” initially written by Cohen, mastered by Buckley, and now popularized by the Penetonics, use a sad and beautiful song about faith and unrequited love. And the voice of Milisandre Crowthorne, a voice typically small and full of indecision, a voice plagued by “ums” and “likes” and quivering uncertainty, filled the lines with beautiful power. The room was silent as she surprised them all, and as she grew stronger in the singing, and then her brown eyes locked onto the glazed over red of Sarah’s.
"Well baby, I've been here before
I've seen this room and I've walked this floor
I used to live alone before I knew ya
And I've seen your flag on the marble arch
And love is not a victory march
It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah"
I've seen this room and I've walked this floor
I used to live alone before I knew ya
And I've seen your flag on the marble arch
And love is not a victory march
It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah"
Tears filled those brown eyes as she sang. Eyes of the room turned slowly towards Sarah and Kenzi and back to the woman singing on stage. Sarah’s own eyes glimmered with tears, though it was over the beauty of the song and her friend’s surprising talent, the normally perceptive woman lost to her drink. Kenzi’s eyes, however, were filled with sober rage.
~~Sarah’s Alcohol Level: 92%~~
It was a fury-filled Kenzi Grey that stood, looked right in Milisandre’s eyes, and requested that Sarah sing “Love on the Brain.”
Their wedding song.
Milisandre threw down the microphone and stomped off, but Kenzi moved off to meet her. The crowd stayed awards and silent as they watched what turned into a verbal fight, both Kenzi and Mil raising their voices at one another in anger. Sarah, too drunk to realize any of the context of what was quickly turning into a shoving match on the other side of the stage, upended another glass of wine and slipped off by herself to the ladies’ room.
~~Sarah’s Alcohol Level: 100%~~
It is time.
I watch her stumble out of the restroom. I have seen her drunk in ways that no one else has. Seen her plastered. Seen her high. Seen her DRIVEN. I have held back her hair so that she could puke her guts out before we knew limits. I have been there the next morning to help her with hangovers. I know her better than that nigger bitch ever could.
I know how weak she is right now.
I have kept track of her all of these weeks. I know her schedule better than she does. She has not known where I am, though she has sent out hounds to find me, but I good at hiding. Hell, I have hidden in plain sight of the woman who should be MINE for the last few years. Looks right at me and doesn’t see me. But that is going to change right now.
I have watched her antics in New York. I took the time to go to Hollywood, to the apartment that I though was going to be my gift, the place where I thought I was going to be her secret lover, and instead handed off to that wretched bag of bones Sid. I went back there and…well…she will find out soon enough. I had fun.
But now? Now is MY time. Now she is MINE.
I stand in front of her and she bumps into me. I am in the dark so she cannot see me. She smiles up at me, completely drunk.
“Baby? That you?”
She thinks I’m the nigger bitch. Fuck, she’s drunk. Fuck, she’s MINE.
I don’t say anything. I just reach up and pull down the top of the ridiculous uniform. Her breasts flop out. No underwear or bra for the queen, oh no. The fucking whore. But she’s MINE.
“Jeez, baby. Again? I hope you brought Pop!”
Pop. I am DONE with having to listen to them. DONE with having to hear them.
MINE!
I drag her to the floor and am on top of her. She is pulling at my pants, too drunk to realize that I’m not wearing some bullshit fake football outfit like the nigger bitch, and she stops when she feels my hardness.
“You DID bring Pop!”
My hands close around her mouth. Too loud. But this is a mistake. Her eyes open wide as she feels my hands and finally gets a good look at the person on top of her. I look different, have colored my hair and grown a beard, but she recognizes me immediately. She screams into my hand, but I know better. She wants this. I can feel it. I can feel the heat coming from between her legs. I can feel body parts harden.
Just like the good ol’ days.
I hear thunder. Crashing thunder. It must be her heart. She wants this so bad.
MINES.
MINES.
MIN-
* * * * * * * * * *
Sarah clings to the massive arm of REDD Thunder, a blue blanket thrown over her shoulders, her body trembling. Red and blue lights flash as she watches the police take away Jacob Hargrave, the best friend from childhood who had again tried to grape her. A massive knot was already forming on his forehead, where a charging REDD Thunder hand slammed his fist down across his head. Sarah did not know what would have happened if it were not for Thunder noticing that Sarah had disappeared for a long time, the only person in the room who was not focused on Kenzi and Mil starting to pull each other's hair.
Kenzi stood by them, her hands fiddling in front of her, shock and embarrassment plain on her face. Mil was standing far on the other side of the room with Bruce, who was on his cell phone talking to other members of Sarah's "guard," her private security that they had left back at the hotel. Sarah had insisted that they stay away, since she had Bruce with them, and Sarah had a feeling that she would never be able to get away with that again.
The same question filled her head as Jacob was pushed into the police cruiser as it was the night he fled:
Why?
~~FIN~~
