Post by LACKLAN on Jan 25, 2018 21:32:09 GMT -5
---------------------------------
Vous avez un message!
---------------------------------
The woman’s head snaps up, dark eyes going wide with delight.
“Did you hear that, JEM? I have mail!”
She shakes a stuffed chicken, no doubt the very chicken from last week, and then shakes it harder, the feathers flapping. She falls into giggles as she shakes even harder.
“A message, JEM! A message for the blade! The edge! The in-between!”
She stands up from the old milk crate she was using as a seat and skips over to another on the other side of the abandoned warehouse which has become her home. Her group of chickens, now confined to a hastily constructed fence, scatter and squat at the sudden noise and movement. Each leap of her skip makes her rags move left and right, the scars all along her arms coming into view. She barks out crazed laughter as she plops down on top of another used milk crate and opens the new laptop she has positioned on yet another milk crate.
“Now, let us see, JEM.”
Placing the stuffed chicken between her legs, she opens her email client and finds a single new message and opens it.
From: Dexter Vines <sexy_dexy@ugwc.com>
Date: January 23rd 2018 8:49 PM
To: Le Bord de Dieu <thatfrenchchick@ugwc.com>
Subject: The Rules of UGWC
Miss de Dieu
The Rules and Standards Commission (RSC) for the United Global Wrestling Coalition (UGWC) wish to discuss with you the rule book of the company with you at your earliest convenience. From your actions over the last two weeks, particularly in the match with Jessica Mathis, and along with reports we have received from colleagues in Ladies All Star Wrestling, we are concerned that you may be confused about a rule or two.
Thank you for your time.
Dexter Vines
Sports Entertainment Executive
Dark eyes flare open in outrage, only matched by the size of her nostrils. Her hands flash in a harsh seek-and-peck style of typing, dirty fingernails clacking hard on the keys.
From: Le Bord de Dieu <thatfrenchchick@ugwc.com>
Date: January 23rd 2018 9:00 PM
To: Dexter Vines <sexy_dexy@ugwc.com>
Subject: Re: The Rules of UGWC
Qu'est-ce que c'est?! Qui es-tu?! Comment savez-vous qui je suis?! Où est-ce que tu as eu çà?!
She snarls and growls as she stares at the computer, her hands reaching down and caressing the top of the example of avian taxidermy.
---------------------------------
Vous avez un message!
---------------------------------
From: Dexter Vines <sexy_dexy@ugwc.com>
Date: January 23rd 2018 9:05 PM
To: Le Bord de Dieu <thatfrenchchick@ugwc.com>
Subject: Re: Re: The Rules of UGWC
Miss de Dieu
Please do not use French when corresponding with UGWC. We are very tired of having to right-click and choose “translate this page.” I am sure you understand.
Thank you for your time.
Dexter Vines
Sports Entertainment Executive
The woman affectionately becoming to be known as “Bordy” screeches with rage and slams her fists down onto the milk crate.
From: Le Bord de Dieu <thatfrenchchick@ugwc.com>
Date: January 23rd 2018 9:15 PM
To: Dexter Vines <sexy_dexy@ugwc.com>
Subject: Re: Re: Re: The Rules of UGWC
Non! Absolument pas! Le français est la langue préférée de Dieu!
She stands up and paces, seething.
“No! No! I will NOT change who I am for some company! I am the ULTRAVIOLET! I AM-”
---------------------------------
Vous avez un message!
---------------------------------
From: Dexter Vines <sexy_dexy@ugwc.com>
Date: January 23rd 2018 9:27 PM
To: Le Bord de Dieu <thatfrenchchick@ugwc.com>
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: The Rules of UGWC
Miss de Dieu
Actually, I am also instructed to inform you that a petition has been going around the business. It seems that literally every person who has ever met you wishes that you stop using French on social media. I have enclosed an attachment of the petition, but you can also look at the one at change.org if you wish.
Thank you for your time.
Dexter Vines
Sports Entertainment Executive
Bordy screeches out again like the keen of a banshee, the panicked clucks of the chickens joining her. She slams her index fingers down on the keys.
From: Le Bord de Dieu <thatfrenchchick@ugwc.com>
Date: January 23rd 2018 9:35 PM
To: Dexter Vines <sexy_dexy@ugwc.com>
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: The Rules of UGWC
Fine! Fine! But get on with it! What do you want?!
---------------------------------
Vous avez un message!
---------------------------------
From: Dexter Vines <sexy_dexy@ugwc.com>
Date: January 23rd 2018 9:43 PM
To: Le Bord de Dieu <thatfrenchchick@ugwc.com>[
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: The Rules of UGWC
Miss de Dieu
Your actions throughout your match with Ms. Mathis at last week’s Synergy have the executive staff concerned. More than once you disobeyed the commands of the referee, you used strikes which are not permitted, and...well...let’s face it, did not even use on actual wrestling move during the entire match. And from speaking with those LAW colleagues, I am to understand you did the same thing in your match with Alicia Lukas, though the referee there did not afford you the liberation that our own Hazel East did. The board would like for you to abstain from such measures and wrestle under the agreed-upon rules. And while I wish that I spoke for the Creative Director (his only thought on the matter was “Tell her I said ‘Ow!’”), I do speak for everyone else. If you wish, I shall send you a fresh copy of the Rulebook for UGWC matches.
Thank you for your time.
Dexter Vines
Sports Entertainment Executive
---------------------------------
From: Le Bord de Dieu <thatfrenchchick@ugwc.com>
Date: January 23rd 2018 10:15 PM
To: Dexter Vines <sexy_dexy@ugwc.com>
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: The Rules of UGWC
This is ridiculous! I am the ULTRAVIOLET! This company knew what they were doing when they signed me! Or at least when they accidentally signed me! To be honest, I do not even remember actually applying. But anyway! Do not blame me for people like Mathis not being able to win matches! Good Sweet God Above, it took her THREE MONTHS to win a match last year, and even then she did not do it alone! And after THAT, she had to win by disqualification! She did not win a match by her own merits until APRIL last year! By MY count, that means that she still has two months of staring up at the lights to do before she is even gets to par! Besides, that is what she gets for not even THINKING about our match and doing nothing more than not realizing that she called me perfume! She tried to make an insult and LITERALLY CALLED ME PERFUME BECAUSE SHE IS TOO STUPID TO KNOW WHAT SHE IS EVEN SAYING!
YOU TELL THAT IDIOT MATHIS THAT, IF SHE WANTS TO WIN A MATCH, SHE NEEDS TO ACTUALLY GIVE A DAMN ABOUT HER OPPONENT!
AND TO STOP BEING SUCH A DAMNED SLUT!
SAME THING WITH THAT LUCY WOMAN, TOO!
Eden seems to be okay.
---------------------------------
Vous avez un message!
---------------------------------
From: Dexter Vines <sexy_dexy@ugwc.com>
Date: January 23rd 2018 10:21 PM
To: Le Bord de Dieu <thatfrenchchick@ugwc.com>
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: The Rules of UGWC
Miss de Dieu
Um...k…
Thank you for your time.
Dexter Vines
Sports Entertainment Executive
---------------------------------
From: Le Bord de Dieu <thatfrenchchick@ugwc.com>
Date: January 23rd 2018 10 PM
To: Dexter Vines <sexy_dexy@ugwc.com>
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: The Rules of UGWC
Thank you. Have fun burning in hell with the rest of the sinners
---------------------------------
Bordy closes the laptop purchased with her #BitchCoin investments with a grimace.
“Rules. Ha! So unnecessary!”
She picks up the taxidermed chicken and holds it up in front of her face.
“Why even bother? I did not even bother going to wrestling school, JEM. I learned what I needed from Chris. And then from...him…”
She shudders as she says “him” and a gleam comes to her eyes. She gently caresses the head of the chicken.
“Oh, how I miss him, JEM. How I miss my husband. But he is risen! He is with me! He is-”
The milk crate shakes underneath her. Dark eyes open wide as she sees the rest of the crates shake and hears the chickens cry in terror.
“Earthquake! Earthquake! Ashley must be exercising again! I WILL NOT LOSE ANOTHER MATCH BECAUSE OF YOUR GLUTTONY, PIGGY!”
With her hands full of zombie chicken, Bordy leaps from her crate and heads towards a doorway. She stands there for a few moments and the tremor stops.
“Are you okay, my little egg givers?”
She sings as she heads towards her chickens.
Écoutez les enfants, c'est magnifique, non ?
Tous ces sons qui selon l'heure change d'humeur et de couleur
Parce que vous savez, les cloches ne sonnent pas toute seule !
She stops before the chickens and drops JEM into the pen. The chickens, already frightened from the small tremor, screech and run for their lives. She cackles with glee at the obscene act of making the dead rebel take up their green.
“Revolutions are not all that I kill, JEM. No! No! Your revolution? The desire and need to be the new face of Synergy? I squished it...smashed it...KILLED IT...cooked and ate it. It tastes like chicken.”
She falls over in a fit of laughs, her rough voice wheezing.
“But it is not the ONLY thing I kill! No! NO! I will also kill the sin of the world!”
She laughs at the ceiling of her warehouse.
“A sin so ugly that it corrupts the outside! A sin so ugly that it makes even the flesh vile and disgusting to behold.”
She crosses her arms and each hand touches the opposite arm, fingers feeling the large collection of scars, nails lightly scratching both the clean lines and the jagged rips.
“Not like me. No! No! This Lockheart woman is not beautiful like me. No...no...my sins...are gone! They are burned away! My husband burns the world’s sin away. He is risen! But her? Her sins?”
She sits up suddenly, the fast movement making the grey-streaked brown hair fly.
“Her sins are so thick...so full in her body...that even her face is contorted in ugliness. She hides it, of course. Like all sinners going straight to hell do. She hides it with makeup. She hides it with color. She hides it with ink. But that ink does not hide the stink. No! No! No inky to hide the stinky! SHE SINS SO MUCH THAT CHILDREN CRY WHEN THEY SEE HER EYES!”
Dark eyes flare again in anger as she stands up. She steps over the fence penning in the chickens and stares down at JEM.
“I WILL RIP OUT HER EYES, JEM! I WILL RIP OFF HER NOSE, JEM! I WILL SUCK THE SIN OUT OF HER! I WILL FEAST ON HER SINS AS READILY AS I FEASTED ON YOUR FAILED REVOLUTION!”
She picks up the chicken and tosses it into the air, laughing as she catches it.
“Your partner, JEM? Just another ugly sinner. Yes yes, she is successful thus far! Yes yes, she is a champion somewhere! Good for her! Good for her sinful lesbian lovers! Good for her shop of lies in New York! But NOT good for her in Chicago! No! No! Her hunch shall be visible to all! Her slooping step shall be seen by everyone! Her ugly face will be revealed with I rake out her eyes!”
She spins and leaps, legs spitting the air, as she dances with JEM.
“The Hunchback shall fail this week! The Hunchback shall lose this week! The woman so ugly on the inside that she must forever be pushed up into the bell tower for fear of her looks causing a riot of disease, shall BE PINNED BY THE EDGE OF GOD!”
She drops the chicken back to the ground and stares at it, the face of rapture falling to nothing. Her raspy voice falls to whispers.
“The revolutionary. The hunchback. Neither one can compete with the Ultraviolet. And with Ingalls and all of his championships behind me? All of Chicago shall see. All of Chicago shall understand. I bring God with me...I am His edge...His blade. I am the in-between. And I shall slip through all manner of armor and kill the sin inside.”
She snickers.
“Bon appetite.”
Vous avez un message!
---------------------------------
The woman’s head snaps up, dark eyes going wide with delight.
“Did you hear that, JEM? I have mail!”
She shakes a stuffed chicken, no doubt the very chicken from last week, and then shakes it harder, the feathers flapping. She falls into giggles as she shakes even harder.
“A message, JEM! A message for the blade! The edge! The in-between!”
She stands up from the old milk crate she was using as a seat and skips over to another on the other side of the abandoned warehouse which has become her home. Her group of chickens, now confined to a hastily constructed fence, scatter and squat at the sudden noise and movement. Each leap of her skip makes her rags move left and right, the scars all along her arms coming into view. She barks out crazed laughter as she plops down on top of another used milk crate and opens the new laptop she has positioned on yet another milk crate.
“Now, let us see, JEM.”
Placing the stuffed chicken between her legs, she opens her email client and finds a single new message and opens it.
From: Dexter Vines <sexy_dexy@ugwc.com>
Date: January 23rd 2018 8:49 PM
To: Le Bord de Dieu <thatfrenchchick@ugwc.com>
Subject: The Rules of UGWC
Miss de Dieu
The Rules and Standards Commission (RSC) for the United Global Wrestling Coalition (UGWC) wish to discuss with you the rule book of the company with you at your earliest convenience. From your actions over the last two weeks, particularly in the match with Jessica Mathis, and along with reports we have received from colleagues in Ladies All Star Wrestling, we are concerned that you may be confused about a rule or two.
Thank you for your time.
Dexter Vines
Sports Entertainment Executive
Dark eyes flare open in outrage, only matched by the size of her nostrils. Her hands flash in a harsh seek-and-peck style of typing, dirty fingernails clacking hard on the keys.
From: Le Bord de Dieu <thatfrenchchick@ugwc.com>
Date: January 23rd 2018 9:00 PM
To: Dexter Vines <sexy_dexy@ugwc.com>
Subject: Re: The Rules of UGWC
Qu'est-ce que c'est?! Qui es-tu?! Comment savez-vous qui je suis?! Où est-ce que tu as eu çà?!
She snarls and growls as she stares at the computer, her hands reaching down and caressing the top of the example of avian taxidermy.
---------------------------------
Vous avez un message!
---------------------------------
From: Dexter Vines <sexy_dexy@ugwc.com>
Date: January 23rd 2018 9:05 PM
To: Le Bord de Dieu <thatfrenchchick@ugwc.com>
Subject: Re: Re: The Rules of UGWC
Miss de Dieu
Please do not use French when corresponding with UGWC. We are very tired of having to right-click and choose “translate this page.” I am sure you understand.
Thank you for your time.
Dexter Vines
Sports Entertainment Executive
The woman affectionately becoming to be known as “Bordy” screeches with rage and slams her fists down onto the milk crate.
From: Le Bord de Dieu <thatfrenchchick@ugwc.com>
Date: January 23rd 2018 9:15 PM
To: Dexter Vines <sexy_dexy@ugwc.com>
Subject: Re: Re: Re: The Rules of UGWC
Non! Absolument pas! Le français est la langue préférée de Dieu!
She stands up and paces, seething.
“No! No! I will NOT change who I am for some company! I am the ULTRAVIOLET! I AM-”
---------------------------------
Vous avez un message!
---------------------------------
From: Dexter Vines <sexy_dexy@ugwc.com>
Date: January 23rd 2018 9:27 PM
To: Le Bord de Dieu <thatfrenchchick@ugwc.com>
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: The Rules of UGWC
Miss de Dieu
Actually, I am also instructed to inform you that a petition has been going around the business. It seems that literally every person who has ever met you wishes that you stop using French on social media. I have enclosed an attachment of the petition, but you can also look at the one at change.org if you wish.
Thank you for your time.
Dexter Vines
Sports Entertainment Executive
Bordy screeches out again like the keen of a banshee, the panicked clucks of the chickens joining her. She slams her index fingers down on the keys.
From: Le Bord de Dieu <thatfrenchchick@ugwc.com>
Date: January 23rd 2018 9:35 PM
To: Dexter Vines <sexy_dexy@ugwc.com>
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: The Rules of UGWC
Fine! Fine! But get on with it! What do you want?!
---------------------------------
Vous avez un message!
---------------------------------
From: Dexter Vines <sexy_dexy@ugwc.com>
Date: January 23rd 2018 9:43 PM
To: Le Bord de Dieu <thatfrenchchick@ugwc.com>[
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: The Rules of UGWC
Miss de Dieu
Your actions throughout your match with Ms. Mathis at last week’s Synergy have the executive staff concerned. More than once you disobeyed the commands of the referee, you used strikes which are not permitted, and...well...let’s face it, did not even use on actual wrestling move during the entire match. And from speaking with those LAW colleagues, I am to understand you did the same thing in your match with Alicia Lukas, though the referee there did not afford you the liberation that our own Hazel East did. The board would like for you to abstain from such measures and wrestle under the agreed-upon rules. And while I wish that I spoke for the Creative Director (his only thought on the matter was “Tell her I said ‘Ow!’”), I do speak for everyone else. If you wish, I shall send you a fresh copy of the Rulebook for UGWC matches.
Thank you for your time.
Dexter Vines
Sports Entertainment Executive
---------------------------------
From: Le Bord de Dieu <thatfrenchchick@ugwc.com>
Date: January 23rd 2018 10:15 PM
To: Dexter Vines <sexy_dexy@ugwc.com>
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: The Rules of UGWC
This is ridiculous! I am the ULTRAVIOLET! This company knew what they were doing when they signed me! Or at least when they accidentally signed me! To be honest, I do not even remember actually applying. But anyway! Do not blame me for people like Mathis not being able to win matches! Good Sweet God Above, it took her THREE MONTHS to win a match last year, and even then she did not do it alone! And after THAT, she had to win by disqualification! She did not win a match by her own merits until APRIL last year! By MY count, that means that she still has two months of staring up at the lights to do before she is even gets to par! Besides, that is what she gets for not even THINKING about our match and doing nothing more than not realizing that she called me perfume! She tried to make an insult and LITERALLY CALLED ME PERFUME BECAUSE SHE IS TOO STUPID TO KNOW WHAT SHE IS EVEN SAYING!
YOU TELL THAT IDIOT MATHIS THAT, IF SHE WANTS TO WIN A MATCH, SHE NEEDS TO ACTUALLY GIVE A DAMN ABOUT HER OPPONENT!
AND TO STOP BEING SUCH A DAMNED SLUT!
SAME THING WITH THAT LUCY WOMAN, TOO!
Eden seems to be okay.
---------------------------------
Vous avez un message!
---------------------------------
From: Dexter Vines <sexy_dexy@ugwc.com>
Date: January 23rd 2018 10:21 PM
To: Le Bord de Dieu <thatfrenchchick@ugwc.com>
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: The Rules of UGWC
Miss de Dieu
Um...k…
Thank you for your time.
Dexter Vines
Sports Entertainment Executive
---------------------------------
From: Le Bord de Dieu <thatfrenchchick@ugwc.com>
Date: January 23rd 2018 10 PM
To: Dexter Vines <sexy_dexy@ugwc.com>
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: The Rules of UGWC
Thank you. Have fun burning in hell with the rest of the sinners
---------------------------------
Bordy closes the laptop purchased with her #BitchCoin investments with a grimace.
“Rules. Ha! So unnecessary!”
She picks up the taxidermed chicken and holds it up in front of her face.
“Why even bother? I did not even bother going to wrestling school, JEM. I learned what I needed from Chris. And then from...him…”
She shudders as she says “him” and a gleam comes to her eyes. She gently caresses the head of the chicken.
“Oh, how I miss him, JEM. How I miss my husband. But he is risen! He is with me! He is-”
The milk crate shakes underneath her. Dark eyes open wide as she sees the rest of the crates shake and hears the chickens cry in terror.
“Earthquake! Earthquake! Ashley must be exercising again! I WILL NOT LOSE ANOTHER MATCH BECAUSE OF YOUR GLUTTONY, PIGGY!”
With her hands full of zombie chicken, Bordy leaps from her crate and heads towards a doorway. She stands there for a few moments and the tremor stops.
“Are you okay, my little egg givers?”
She sings as she heads towards her chickens.
Écoutez les enfants, c'est magnifique, non ?
Tous ces sons qui selon l'heure change d'humeur et de couleur
Parce que vous savez, les cloches ne sonnent pas toute seule !
She stops before the chickens and drops JEM into the pen. The chickens, already frightened from the small tremor, screech and run for their lives. She cackles with glee at the obscene act of making the dead rebel take up their green.
“Revolutions are not all that I kill, JEM. No! No! Your revolution? The desire and need to be the new face of Synergy? I squished it...smashed it...KILLED IT...cooked and ate it. It tastes like chicken.”
She falls over in a fit of laughs, her rough voice wheezing.
“But it is not the ONLY thing I kill! No! NO! I will also kill the sin of the world!”
She laughs at the ceiling of her warehouse.
“A sin so ugly that it corrupts the outside! A sin so ugly that it makes even the flesh vile and disgusting to behold.”
She crosses her arms and each hand touches the opposite arm, fingers feeling the large collection of scars, nails lightly scratching both the clean lines and the jagged rips.
“Not like me. No! No! This Lockheart woman is not beautiful like me. No...no...my sins...are gone! They are burned away! My husband burns the world’s sin away. He is risen! But her? Her sins?”
She sits up suddenly, the fast movement making the grey-streaked brown hair fly.
“Her sins are so thick...so full in her body...that even her face is contorted in ugliness. She hides it, of course. Like all sinners going straight to hell do. She hides it with makeup. She hides it with color. She hides it with ink. But that ink does not hide the stink. No! No! No inky to hide the stinky! SHE SINS SO MUCH THAT CHILDREN CRY WHEN THEY SEE HER EYES!”
Dark eyes flare again in anger as she stands up. She steps over the fence penning in the chickens and stares down at JEM.
“I WILL RIP OUT HER EYES, JEM! I WILL RIP OFF HER NOSE, JEM! I WILL SUCK THE SIN OUT OF HER! I WILL FEAST ON HER SINS AS READILY AS I FEASTED ON YOUR FAILED REVOLUTION!”
She picks up the chicken and tosses it into the air, laughing as she catches it.
“Your partner, JEM? Just another ugly sinner. Yes yes, she is successful thus far! Yes yes, she is a champion somewhere! Good for her! Good for her sinful lesbian lovers! Good for her shop of lies in New York! But NOT good for her in Chicago! No! No! Her hunch shall be visible to all! Her slooping step shall be seen by everyone! Her ugly face will be revealed with I rake out her eyes!”
She spins and leaps, legs spitting the air, as she dances with JEM.
“The Hunchback shall fail this week! The Hunchback shall lose this week! The woman so ugly on the inside that she must forever be pushed up into the bell tower for fear of her looks causing a riot of disease, shall BE PINNED BY THE EDGE OF GOD!”
She drops the chicken back to the ground and stares at it, the face of rapture falling to nothing. Her raspy voice falls to whispers.
“The revolutionary. The hunchback. Neither one can compete with the Ultraviolet. And with Ingalls and all of his championships behind me? All of Chicago shall see. All of Chicago shall understand. I bring God with me...I am His edge...His blade. I am the in-between. And I shall slip through all manner of armor and kill the sin inside.”
She snickers.
“Bon appetite.”
x2
