Post by Travis Pierce on Mar 16, 2018 15:18:56 GMT -5
Dozens of people scurry about, putting the finishing touches on the set of the most anticipated show to ever come out of the professional wrestling industry, 'The Pierced Vault'. Overseeing these final touches is the host of the show that Entertainment Weekly has stated "is the show anticipated to be the greatest show possible for a show that isn’t 'The Piercing Truth' which is pretty good", Travis Pierce. Standing beside him is long time producer, Rob Cartwright. The two men are engaged in conversation.
Cartwright: You’re sure about this?
Pierce: What I'm capable of? You do realize that I have been the UGWC World Championship, yes?"
Cartwright: You remind us all the time. I’m talking about the bears you might be poking with all of this.
Pierce: People have to realize the truth about Vain. He is and always has been, at best, a Travii knock-off. Alan Wallace is what you get if you mixed Travis Pierce with Travis Roberts and then made him shitty. That’s him in a nutshell. He’s the Mirror Travii, and anything that he can do, I can do even better. It’s time people saw that.
Cartwright: You can be a real prick sometimes, you do know that, right Travis?
Pierce: It’s one of my best features.
Cartwright: It wasn't a compliment, Travis.
Pierce: Funny. It sounded like one.
Rob sighs.
Cartwright: Nevertheless, everything you have planned here, you think maybe you’re overlooking Mathis?
Travis takes a sip from the bottle of ZIMA that he holds in his hand.
Pierce: Why? Because she pulls off the occasional upset? She beat Hastings and Killian last year. Those were big, I’ll grant that. She has a tendency to stick her nose where it doesn’t belong. You know why she’s been able to make the save for Vain these past couple weeks? Because she was never the target to begin with.
Cartwright: Isn’t that the mistake?
Pierce: What, you’re afraid that a week from now we’ll be saying we could have gotten away with it, were it not for that meddlesome Jem, and her little dog too? I doubt it. Jessica Mathis has a future that could never hope to eclipse what I’ve already done in my past, and I’m not through yet.
Travis watches as they put the finishing touches on the set.
Pierce: Now let’s get this over with.
The telecast goes on air, a still shot of the glorious visage that is Travis Pierce eye-fucking the shit out of the global audience who has tuned in this evening for their favorite program. After many seconds of basking in his splendor – seriously, his pearly whites actually twinkled even though it’s a photo – the photo is replaced with the following message.
The studio audience goes bananas; that’s b-a-n-a-n-a-s, as Travis stands behind his desk…his arms outstretched, as he bathes in the adulation that is being bestowed upon him. At the ninety second mark, he begins motioning for the crowd to calm down, to which they only grow louder. Sheepishly, he motions for them to stop it, only to motion for them to keep it up once they begin to grant his wish. This lasts for quite a bit of time, and leads into the first commercial of the program.
As we come back from commercial break, we see that Travis has finally taken his seat. The camera focuses squarely on the vivacious face of Travis Pierce, who is grinning like an idiot.
Pierce: Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to the long-awaited debut of 'The Pierced Vault'!
The live audience goes ballistic, standing and cheering, as Travis begins to laugh, motioning for them to calm down.
Pierce: Thank you, thank you…you're all too kind. It truly means the world to me to know how much this show means to so many people, especially since being here means you don’t get to attend a live episode of The Piercing Truth.
The crowd begins to boo, with some of the members in attendance hurling out verbal insults to whatever asshole is responsible for denying them their weekly dose of TPT. One overly enthusiastic fan leaps in front of the camera and points emphatically to his “I get my news from The Piercing Truth” T-Shirt, and is tugged away by security.
Pierce: Easy there, easy there. Don’t worry, all will be well, because tonight your body is ready to experience the wonder and amazement of THE PIERCED VAULT!
Another wild round of applause, as Travis allows this one to go on. After a good sixty seconds, the crowd begins to quiet down, as Travis leans forward in his seat, propping his arms on the desk in front of him.
Pierce: Let’s get this cracking by taking a gander in what’s up on social media, shall we?
The crowd begins to boo, with some of the members in attendance hurling out verbal insults against the man that was once a upon a time prognosticated the bro hug, Alan Wallace. A strained look forms on the face of the resident King of Charisma.
Pierce: Respectfully, I ask that all of you show the proper amount of respect to the man who once was able to whisper to even the most haggard of clits. Whereas once upon a time, Vain was a champion Yahtzee player, nowadays he can’t even properly count! Listen, this is TRIOS month. That means three. Yeah, I got you twice, but we do things three times this month. I mean, this is preschool level stuff. One. Two. Three.
Travis moves into a golf stance, and then using the microphone, goes through the motion as if he is swinging a club. Upon completing the movement, Covert Jay appears beside him and raises his hand, placing it over his eyebrows as he views what amounted to a perfect shot. He pats Travis on the shoulder, and then throws down a smoke pellet and disappears.
Travis waves away some smoke as he returns to his seat.
Pierce: Right.
Travis stops for a moment, reaching across his desk to pick up the small glass of Zima that has been waiting patiently for his luscious lips to visit once more. Upon taking a sip, he places the glass back onto the coaster – condensation can be a bitch on wood surfaces, write that down – and then looks back at the camera.
Pierce: Now before we get to our special guest this evening, I would once more like to remind everyone to tune in this Monday, as the United Global Wrestling Coalition will be putting on a show like no other, it is time for Lord of Trios. I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention that this was the first ever event of this kind, and while there are some people that are interested in seeing the result of the trios tournament, the millions and millions of ‘Piercinites’ worldwide will be more interested in watching their hero recapture the UGWC Cross-Hemisphere Championship, which you all know is the championship that yours truly first brought to UGWC eight years ago.
Travis reaches for his glass and takes another sip of Zima. Placing it back where it belongs, he begins organizing a few note cards, and then looks back at the camera.
Pierce: And now, without further adieu, I present to you a man that is known around the entire wrestling industry. He is a man that made his Hall of Fame career off of an unforgettable feud with none other than myself. My special guest for this evening is none other than the former Cross-Hemisphere Champion, the Immortal Chinkster, Alex Kiseragi. So Kis…welcome to ‘The Pierced Vault’!
The camera pans around to show a man wearing a Tiger Mask step out from behind the curtain that leads backstage. As he walks, Covert Jay appears on the side of the stage with a spotlight on him, and begins to sing.
The guest, wearing the same suit that Rob Cartwright was spotting wearing earlier in the evening, takes a seat on the couch.
Pierce: I would like to thank you for agreeing to be the feature guest on this episode of ‘The Pierced Vault’, Kis.
“Kiseragi” says nothing.
Pierce: Oh, I apologize. Language barrier. I’ll try this again.
Travis leans over his desk and speaks louder.
Pierce: HA-ROW!
“Kiseragi” nods his head repeatedly and gives a thumbs-up.
Pierce: Well, it’s been several years since anybody has heard from you. What have you been up to?
Kiseragi: Ba ten ding. Wa shing cah. Lei ying lo.
Pierce: That’s terrific, simply terrific. Important to keep busy. Let’s cut right to it, though. The hot topic this week is the Cross-Hemisphere Title, a championship you held yourself in the past, a championship that you and I went to war over, matches that live in infamy as some of the greatest the championship has ever seen. I’m sure you’ve kept up on all things UGWC and Travis Pierce, naturally. You’re aware that in a few days, I challenge the reigning Cross-Hemisphere Champion, Alan Wallace. What do you think about Vain?
Kiseragi: Dum gai.
Pierce: How about my co-challenger in this match, Jessica Mathis?
Kiseragi: Fat ho. Chow mai dong.
Pierce: And, of course, yours truly, the Icon of Entertainment, the King of Charisma, Travis Pierce.
Kiseragi: Su pah. Good gai.
Pierce: I am a very good guy, it’s true. The best. We’d like to thank you for being here, Kizzy Baby. It’s been validating.
Kiseragi: Hai.
Pierce: We’ll be back after this.
The camera flickers back to life, showing an extreme close-up of one Travis pierce. His hair is combed perfectly, showcasing his perfectly sculpted cheekbones. He has a twinkle in his eye, and with a wink to the camera, his trademark smile appears upon his face. He truly is one beautiful man. The difference between him and a certain other wrestler employed by UGWC? Travis gets this whole “three” thing.
As Travis continues eye-fucking the camera, a voiceover is heard.
And the Lord Hastings had a moment of clairy and spake to the Chartreuse, saying, "First shalt thou identify the pin. Then, shalt thou count to three. No more. No less. Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, nor either count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then,raisest thou thy Hand of Pierce, who, being the victor in this match, shall be champion.”
Travis winks to the camera as we fade out.
Cartwright: You’re sure about this?
Pierce: What I'm capable of? You do realize that I have been the UGWC World Championship, yes?"
Cartwright: You remind us all the time. I’m talking about the bears you might be poking with all of this.
Pierce: People have to realize the truth about Vain. He is and always has been, at best, a Travii knock-off. Alan Wallace is what you get if you mixed Travis Pierce with Travis Roberts and then made him shitty. That’s him in a nutshell. He’s the Mirror Travii, and anything that he can do, I can do even better. It’s time people saw that.
Cartwright: You can be a real prick sometimes, you do know that, right Travis?
Pierce: It’s one of my best features.
Cartwright: It wasn't a compliment, Travis.
Pierce: Funny. It sounded like one.
Rob sighs.
Cartwright: Nevertheless, everything you have planned here, you think maybe you’re overlooking Mathis?
Travis takes a sip from the bottle of ZIMA that he holds in his hand.
Pierce: Why? Because she pulls off the occasional upset? She beat Hastings and Killian last year. Those were big, I’ll grant that. She has a tendency to stick her nose where it doesn’t belong. You know why she’s been able to make the save for Vain these past couple weeks? Because she was never the target to begin with.
Cartwright: Isn’t that the mistake?
Pierce: What, you’re afraid that a week from now we’ll be saying we could have gotten away with it, were it not for that meddlesome Jem, and her little dog too? I doubt it. Jessica Mathis has a future that could never hope to eclipse what I’ve already done in my past, and I’m not through yet.
Travis watches as they put the finishing touches on the set.
Pierce: Now let’s get this over with.
The telecast goes on air, a still shot of the glorious visage that is Travis Pierce eye-fucking the shit out of the global audience who has tuned in this evening for their favorite program. After many seconds of basking in his splendor – seriously, his pearly whites actually twinkled even though it’s a photo – the photo is replaced with the following message.
“The following is a Piercing Media production.”
The studio audience goes bananas; that’s b-a-n-a-n-a-s, as Travis stands behind his desk…his arms outstretched, as he bathes in the adulation that is being bestowed upon him. At the ninety second mark, he begins motioning for the crowd to calm down, to which they only grow louder. Sheepishly, he motions for them to stop it, only to motion for them to keep it up once they begin to grant his wish. This lasts for quite a bit of time, and leads into the first commercial of the program.
As we come back from commercial break, we see that Travis has finally taken his seat. The camera focuses squarely on the vivacious face of Travis Pierce, who is grinning like an idiot.
Pierce: Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to the long-awaited debut of 'The Pierced Vault'!
The live audience goes ballistic, standing and cheering, as Travis begins to laugh, motioning for them to calm down.
Pierce: Thank you, thank you…you're all too kind. It truly means the world to me to know how much this show means to so many people, especially since being here means you don’t get to attend a live episode of The Piercing Truth.
The crowd begins to boo, with some of the members in attendance hurling out verbal insults to whatever asshole is responsible for denying them their weekly dose of TPT. One overly enthusiastic fan leaps in front of the camera and points emphatically to his “I get my news from The Piercing Truth” T-Shirt, and is tugged away by security.
Pierce: Easy there, easy there. Don’t worry, all will be well, because tonight your body is ready to experience the wonder and amazement of THE PIERCED VAULT!
Another wild round of applause, as Travis allows this one to go on. After a good sixty seconds, the crowd begins to quiet down, as Travis leans forward in his seat, propping his arms on the desk in front of him.
Pierce: Let’s get this cracking by taking a gander in what’s up on social media, shall we?
The crowd begins to boo, with some of the members in attendance hurling out verbal insults against the man that was once a upon a time prognosticated the bro hug, Alan Wallace. A strained look forms on the face of the resident King of Charisma.
Pierce: Respectfully, I ask that all of you show the proper amount of respect to the man who once was able to whisper to even the most haggard of clits. Whereas once upon a time, Vain was a champion Yahtzee player, nowadays he can’t even properly count! Listen, this is TRIOS month. That means three. Yeah, I got you twice, but we do things three times this month. I mean, this is preschool level stuff. One. Two. Three.
Travis moves into a golf stance, and then using the microphone, goes through the motion as if he is swinging a club. Upon completing the movement, Covert Jay appears beside him and raises his hand, placing it over his eyebrows as he views what amounted to a perfect shot. He pats Travis on the shoulder, and then throws down a smoke pellet and disappears.
Travis waves away some smoke as he returns to his seat.
Pierce: Right.
Travis stops for a moment, reaching across his desk to pick up the small glass of Zima that has been waiting patiently for his luscious lips to visit once more. Upon taking a sip, he places the glass back onto the coaster – condensation can be a bitch on wood surfaces, write that down – and then looks back at the camera.
Pierce: Now before we get to our special guest this evening, I would once more like to remind everyone to tune in this Monday, as the United Global Wrestling Coalition will be putting on a show like no other, it is time for Lord of Trios. I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention that this was the first ever event of this kind, and while there are some people that are interested in seeing the result of the trios tournament, the millions and millions of ‘Piercinites’ worldwide will be more interested in watching their hero recapture the UGWC Cross-Hemisphere Championship, which you all know is the championship that yours truly first brought to UGWC eight years ago.
Travis reaches for his glass and takes another sip of Zima. Placing it back where it belongs, he begins organizing a few note cards, and then looks back at the camera.
Pierce: And now, without further adieu, I present to you a man that is known around the entire wrestling industry. He is a man that made his Hall of Fame career off of an unforgettable feud with none other than myself. My special guest for this evening is none other than the former Cross-Hemisphere Champion, the Immortal Chinkster, Alex Kiseragi. So Kis…welcome to ‘The Pierced Vault’!
The camera pans around to show a man wearing a Tiger Mask step out from behind the curtain that leads backstage. As he walks, Covert Jay appears on the side of the stage with a spotlight on him, and begins to sing.
He’s a dragon!
Yes, he’s a dragon!
And people fight him
So they don’t get firey!
Oh, he’s a dragon!
Yes, he’s a dragon!
And people fight him
So they don’t get all fi-er-eeeeee!!!
Yes, he’s a dragon!
And people fight him
So they don’t get firey!
Oh, he’s a dragon!
Yes, he’s a dragon!
And people fight him
So they don’t get all fi-er-eeeeee!!!
The guest, wearing the same suit that Rob Cartwright was spotting wearing earlier in the evening, takes a seat on the couch.
Pierce: I would like to thank you for agreeing to be the feature guest on this episode of ‘The Pierced Vault’, Kis.
“Kiseragi” says nothing.
Pierce: Oh, I apologize. Language barrier. I’ll try this again.
Travis leans over his desk and speaks louder.
Pierce: HA-ROW!
“Kiseragi” nods his head repeatedly and gives a thumbs-up.
Pierce: Well, it’s been several years since anybody has heard from you. What have you been up to?
Kiseragi: Ba ten ding. Wa shing cah. Lei ying lo.
Pierce: That’s terrific, simply terrific. Important to keep busy. Let’s cut right to it, though. The hot topic this week is the Cross-Hemisphere Title, a championship you held yourself in the past, a championship that you and I went to war over, matches that live in infamy as some of the greatest the championship has ever seen. I’m sure you’ve kept up on all things UGWC and Travis Pierce, naturally. You’re aware that in a few days, I challenge the reigning Cross-Hemisphere Champion, Alan Wallace. What do you think about Vain?
Kiseragi: Dum gai.
Pierce: How about my co-challenger in this match, Jessica Mathis?
Kiseragi: Fat ho. Chow mai dong.
Pierce: And, of course, yours truly, the Icon of Entertainment, the King of Charisma, Travis Pierce.
Kiseragi: Su pah. Good gai.
Pierce: I am a very good guy, it’s true. The best. We’d like to thank you for being here, Kizzy Baby. It’s been validating.
Kiseragi: Hai.
Pierce: We’ll be back after this.
The camera flickers back to life, showing an extreme close-up of one Travis pierce. His hair is combed perfectly, showcasing his perfectly sculpted cheekbones. He has a twinkle in his eye, and with a wink to the camera, his trademark smile appears upon his face. He truly is one beautiful man. The difference between him and a certain other wrestler employed by UGWC? Travis gets this whole “three” thing.
As Travis continues eye-fucking the camera, a voiceover is heard.
And the Lord Hastings had a moment of clairy and spake to the Chartreuse, saying, "First shalt thou identify the pin. Then, shalt thou count to three. No more. No less. Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, nor either count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then,raisest thou thy Hand of Pierce, who, being the victor in this match, shall be champion.”
Travis winks to the camera as we fade out.
2013, '18, '23 
2013 
x1
x1
x1
x1
