WrestleStock 2018 - Day Three: Cross-Hemisphere Championship

[DrunkenBuzzsaw]

UGWC CROSS HEMISPHERE CHAMPIONSHIP

By the Numbers!

Total Champions

89
(53 Unique Wrestlers)

First Champion

4/19/2001

(Phoenix)

Most Reigns

4

(Red Fusion, Alan Wallace)

Longest Individual Reign

322

(Moss Edwards)

Longest Combined Reign

343

(Phrixus Deimos)

[DrunkenBuzzsaw]

WrestleStock Day 3
Queen City Park
New Orleans, LA
5:30 am

We open to see Queen City Park in the early morning hours, maybe a half-hour before sunrise as the sky is splashed with purple and yellow. The outskirts of the park are ringed by an assortment of tents, campers and RVs. While the majority of them are still dark, the glow of nascent consciousness is starting to slowly spread like the births of individual universes in the darkness.

Inside the park, the small complexes of most of the entertainment professionals are still dark, although the DMW area, which is the size of a small fiefdom, is still blazing and loud with the sounds of life, reverie and debauchery. The camera zooms down and into the park, weaving and zipping its way through the clusters of tents and RVs, down through the various carnival-like booths and rides that dot the park, through the ring setups, past the stage and the temporarily empty booths of the individual wrestlers until we focus on two men who are standing outside of the audio visual trailer. One of them is Chill Analyst Aaron Reese. The other one...isn’t. He’s clearly older, with silver hair and a considerable paunch that’s barely held in by a dark aqua button down shirt.

The man in the aqua shirt lifts up a sloppy looking breakfast sandwich that oozes cheese, ketchup and grease. He takes a large bite out of it, barely managing to avoid dumping a large blob of ketchup, grease and cheese down the front of his shirt. He chomps loudly, which draws a disgusted look from Reese. He notices Reese looking at him and holds the sandwich out.

“You want a bite?” He asks, still chewing...loudly as particles of food fly from his mouth.

“No.” Reese replies. “I’m good.”

The large man shrugs and takes another titanic chomp out of it.

“Suit yourself.” He replies.

He chews, swallows and then wrinkles his face disgustedly.

“I hate being up this early.” He says irritably. “Why did I agree to this?”

“Probably because you’re broke.” Reese replies blandly.

The man turns up his nose in disgust.

“Right.” He replies irritably. “That.”

“That.” Reese replies with a smirk.

The man takes another large, sloppy bite of the sandwich and mows it down like a Mastiff with a steak before he swallows loudly. He wipes his mouth with the wrapper, which is marginally effective at best and turns to Reese.

“Did you miss me?” He asks.

Reese replies with a single raised eyebrow.

“No.” He answers.

The man replies to him with an expression of confusion.

“Then why did you give my name to UGWC for WrestleStock?” He asks.

Reese rolls his eyes.

“Your name was at the bottom of the list.” He replies.

“Then why did they hire me for today?” The man asks.

Reese turns and looks at him, then shakes his head.

“Because everyone else was busy.” He replies.

The large, sloppy man reacts as if he’s been slapped but recovers quickly and smiles, then slaps a messy and greasy hand down on Reese’s shoulder.

“Well!” He proclaims loudly. “It’s time for UGWC to witness the majestic and Earth-shaking return of Jim ‘The Bomb’ Grande!”

He drops his hand and waddles away, as he calls something over his shoulder.

“Hey, where can I get breakfast around here?”

Reese shudders in revulsion and looks down at his shoulder. He flicks a couple of particles off of it and looks back at the corpulent form of his past broadcast partner.

“I regret this decision already...” He says.

He lets out a frustrated sigh.

“And now I have to change my shirt...”

[DrunkenBuzzsaw]

9:30 AM

The sun sits high and bright in the sky and the waves of early heat can be seen dancing in the air. The view comes to focus on Aaron Reese, now wearing a clean shirt and his rotund broadcast partner and retired Pure Pain Wrestling Color Commentator Jim "The Bomb" Grande. Reese smiles and begins to speak.

"Good morning, ladies and gentlemen and welcome to Day Three of 'Wrestlestock 2018'!"

"Welcome to the glorious return of PPW LEGEND Jim 'The Bomb' Grande!"

Reese shakes his head, clearly irritated by his broadcast partner.

"This day isn't about you, Jim." He says. "This is day three of the most important show on the UGWC calendar, Wrestlestock."

"It should be about me." Grande requires petulantly.

"Well it's not." Reese replies flatly. "We have a gigantic day scheduled today with a slew of enormous and consequential matches."

"Yay." Grande replies in a bored tone. "If it's not about me, I don't care."

Reese looks at him and shakes his head again before he looks back a the camera.

"It's nice to see that you've grown up since Quentin Barnes relieved you of your announcing duties." He replies.

"I'm perfect." Grande replies. "You can't improve on perfection."

"You're perfectly obnoxious and disgusting." Reese replies. "Otherwise your picture appears as an antonym for 'perfect' in the dictionary. Now, as I was saying before you decided to pout, I was going to go through the card, which I'm going to do now."

"So what should I do?" Grande replies childishly.

"You should stand there and be quiet unless you can stop being a baby and contribute something meaningful." Reese answers bluntly.

"I still hate you." Grande grunts.

"Good." Reese replies. "I appreciate the compliment."

He pauses for a moment and then continues.

"Ladies and gentlemen, we have an absolutely explosive card for you today. Our first match is a 'WrestleStock Cup' semi-final match that will pit arguably the two more popular talents on 'Chill' against each other as Captain 80's faces off with Kenzi Gray-Lacklan."

"At least her mother is hot." Grande says piggishly as he licks his lips.

"You're repulsive." Reese replies. "Moving on, our second match is also a semi-final match in the 'WrestleStock Cup' as Carnage Wrestling owner and multi-time World Champion 'The Answer' JC faces the winner of the two-thousand and seventeen 'WrestleStock Cup' winner, Sarah Selena Lacklan."

"She's weird and a little creepy, but I'd tap it."

Reese momentarily closes his eyes and shakes his head.

"You're disgusting." Reese replies. "The third match of the day came about as a result of yesterday's shenanigans in the Co-Operative Championship match that took place between Eden Morgan and Jet Somers of 'The Court' and 'Vain' Alan Wallace and 'The Paradox' Zane Scott. The Co-Operative Championship Match was thrown out when Eden Morgan tried to pour a can of gas on Alan Wallace and set him on fire. Referee Brian Chartreuse had no choice but to toss the match and declare it a 'no-contest'. What happened afterward lead Creative Director Donovan Hastings to make two separate matches today."

"I think that the referee was a pussy." Grande replies. "He should have let Eden set the blonde pansy on fire."

"You're worthless." Reese replies. "Brian Chartreuse did the right thing and these two matches are Donovan Hastings way of hopefully ending the violent feud that's been going on between Wallace and Morgan."

"What about Zane and Jet?" Grande scoffs.

"They have a long standing rivalry." Reese replies. "So I doubt that either will object to this."

"Hmph."

"Insightful commentary, as always." Reese replies. "Why don't you go to the beer tent and get your self blackout drunk?"

Grande's face lights up and he turns to Reese.

"Beer?" He asks gleefully. "Where?"

"Pretty much everywhere around the park." Reese replies. "Take your pick."

Grande takes a half melted chocolate bar out of his pocket, rips the wrapper off, tosses it away in the grass and takes a bite from it. He slaps a chocolate smeared hand onto Reese's white shirted shoulder. Reese looks down at it and then looks up at Grande with with a shake of his head.

"Do you want anything?" Grande asks gleefully.

"For you to go away." Reese replies. "Otherwise, no."

"You got!" Grande replies before he turns and waddles off for the nearest beer stand.

Reese looks back at the camera.

"Let's go to the broadcast table." Reese says. "Over to you, Nick!"

He looks down at his shirt and shakes his head again.

"Wonderful." He says painfully. "Now I have to change my shirt again..."

The camera swings over to the announcers booth to show the smiling face of Nick Vinegar.

[DrunkenBuzzsaw]

Vinegar: Good morning, Ladies and gentlemen and WELCOME to DAY THREE of “WrestleStock Two-Thousand and Eighteen”! As always I’m Nick Vinegar and I’m flanked by the only PhD in professional wrestling commentary and a former Creative Director, Dr. Hans Lieberjosch.

Lieberjosch: Greetings, Nicholas. It’s a pleasure to be at the table with you again.

Vinegar: Thank you, Hans. And to my left is my other broadcast partner, UGWC;s resident ninja and the most...colorful...color man in the business, Covert Jay.

Covert Jay: Thanks, Nick!

Lieberjosch: It’s not a pleasure to be at the table with you, as always.

Covert Jay: Thanks, Doc!

Vinegar: That wasn’t a compliment, Jay.

Covert Jay: I know.

Vinegar: Then why did you thank him for it?

Covert Jay: I figure that if I keep thanking him for his normal insulting shtick, that he’ll eventually stop.

Lieberjosch: And how’s that working out for you so far?

Covert Jay: It hasn’t, but hope springs eternal!

Lieberjosch: So does stupidity.

Vinegar: Gentlemen, if we could get to business.

Lieberjosch: Certainly, Nicholas.

Vinegar: Thank you, Hans.

Lieberjosch: By all means.

Vinegar: Ladies and gentlemen we have a STACKED card for Day Three. Today’s matches will include TWO “WrestleStock Open” Semi-Final matches. The first will pit rapidly rising star of Chill, Kenzi Gray- Lacklan face equally popular Chill talent Captain 80s.

Lieberjosch: Can we just disqualify and advance her to the next round? The less I see of that moronic throwback, the happier I am.

Covery Jay: I like Captain 80s!

Lieberjosch: You would. He’s of the same moronic ilk as you.

Vinegar: That’s enough, gentlemen.

Lieberjosch: I will say that while I don’t care for the throwback from wayback, I grow more and more impressed with Ms Gray-Lacklan everytime I see her.

Covert Jay: Plus, her mother is a MILF.

Lieberjosch: How trite of you.

Vinegar: Yes, her mother is a very attractive woman. That aside, it must be pointed out that she also likes to get directly involved in her daughter’s matches.

Covert Jay: Maybe I can keep her distracted with my mysterious ninja skills.

Lieberjosch: Finally, we agree on something.

Covert Jay: We do?

Lieberjosch: We do.

Covert Jay: Awesome! What?

Lieberjosch: That your skills are a mystery.

Covert Jay: Awesome!

Vinegar: Someone who’s skills definitely aren’t a mystery are Mrs. Gray-Lacklan’s. I firmly believe that if she were to move from “Chill” to “Synergy”, that she’d not only be a top talent, but she’d also be a Champion in a very short amount of time.

Lieberjosch: I agree. She’s a very talented young woman.

Vinegar: Let's go to the ring!

“Gimme Your Applause” by Lady Gaga, Britney Spears, & Christina Aguilera begins to play as lightbulbs flash all through the arena. Kenzi Grey walks out with a confident smile for the fans. An explosion of pyro erupts as she strikes a pose for the cameras. Kenzi’s mother and manager, Sidney Grey walks out to a chorus of boos with her massive bodyguard Maxine, flanking Kenzi as they head to the ring. Kenzi ignores her mother as she heads down the aisle slapping the outstretched hands of the fans. Kenzi climbs onto the ring apron and pauses again for the flash of the cameras, as she kneels there with a smirk. She climbs the turnpost and gives the fans one more photo opportunity as she sits atop the turnbuckle, still blowing kisses and posing for the fans. She hops down, finally entering the ring as she readies herself for her opponent and her mother typically takes of residence at the announce table to talk up her daughter and annoy the commentators and fans.

Dennis: She hails from HOLLYWOOD, CALIFORNIA and stands in at five-feet, two inches tall. She’s currently one of the most heralded talents on UGWC CHILL...ladies and gentlemen, I give you KENZI GRAY-LACKLAN!!!

Vinegar: Ms Gray-Lacklan looks like she’s completely focused. She knows how important a win in this tournament could be for her still fairly young career.

Lieberjosch: She’s not my favorite to win the tournament, but I guarantee that she’ll get by the masked imbecile who can’t remember which decade he’s currently in.

Covert Jay: Plus her mother is a cougar.

Lieberjosch: Could you at least pretend that you have a little dignity.

Covert Jay: I usually do pretend that I have as little as I can get away with.

Vinegar: He has you there, Hans.

Lieberjosch: Regrettably, yes.

Vinegar: Let’s go back to Mitchell.

Dennis: And introducing the SECOND participant in this match.

As the music hits and strobe lights flash frenetically, The Captain arrives on the stage wearing a pink vinyl jacket that has been airbrushed with “80” in periwinkle and bedazzled, tassels hanging from the entire length of his arms. The jacket has remarkable shoulder pads which are covered by purple epaulets, and giant gold buttons line the front though he wears it opened. His facepaint takes on the shape of a comically large, brightly colored eyepatch over his right eye. He wears a headband under his severely teased blond hair, featuring a blue anchor over a red rising sun. On his right hand is a disco-ball-esque glove. His Zubaz tear-away pants feature blue stripes before they disappear into his white, calf-high, heeled boots. Halfway down the ramp, he produces a ludicrously long, telescoping, brass spyglass, and looks over the crowd. He affects a surprised look, then points into the stands, and invites a “First Mate” (what he calls his fans) down to help him remove his extra attire. The fan (always a female) helps him remove his jacket, headband, and pants to reveal his bright yellow trunks, yellow tassels around his biceps, and yellow wrist tape.

Dennis: He hails from his personal airship, THE FALCOR...he is CAPTAIN EIIIIIIGHTIIIIIIIES!!!!

Vinegar: The size difference between these two is incredible.

Lieberjosch: Ms. Gray-Lacklan is a small woman. She has quite an uphill climb ahead of her.

Covert Jay: I hope Sidney sits over here next to me.

Lieberjosch: Try to concentrate on your work.

Covert Jay: Oh, I am.

Vinegar: Brian Chartreuse has finished his checks of both wrestlers and he calls for the bell.

Lieberjosch: I look forward to seeing how Ms. Gray-Lacklan handles the clear size and power advantage of the masked weirdo.

Covert Jay: Sydney! Sydney! Sit over here!

Lieberjosch: She’s ignoring you just as she should.

Vinegar: The two athletes walk to the center of the ring and Captain 80s offers Kenzi a handshake. She looks genuinely confused by it.

Lieberjosch: She should just knock the taste out of his mouth.

Vinegar: It looks like you’re going to be disappointed, because she just accepted it.

Lieberjosch: Her mother seems to be rather displeased by that.

Vinegar: Kenzi and The Captain engage in a classic collar and elbow tie up. This doesn’t favor Kenzi given the size, weight and power disadvantage that she’s suffering from, but I respect her for trying.

Lieberjosch: It’s not wise.

Vinegar: The captain asserts himself right away by pushing Kenzi back into the corner. He immediately breaks his hold and backs up a couple of steps before Brian can even tell him to. His style is refreshing in a way.

Lieberjosch: The man is a walking caricature.

Vinegar: Kenzi walks out of the corner and walks back up to The Captain. He smiles at her and loudly asks for the fans to cheer for his opponent.

Lieberjosch: He’s so weird.

Vinegar: Kenzi looks genuinely confused by it at first while Sidney yells at him from the outside. She seems to be as annoyed by him as you are.

Lieberjosch: At least she has good taste in some things.

Vinegar: Kenzi tells her mother to back off and then turns towards The Captain. She puts her hands out as if she wants another collar and elbow tie up.

Lieberjosch: Yes, because it worked so well the first time.

Vinegar: The Captain reaches out to engage her in the tie up, but she quickly ducks around behind him and throws a quick dropkick into his back. It barely staggers him, so she runs back and bounces off of the ropes for extra momentum.

Lieberjosch: A second dropkick also fails to really move him. She should be aiming for his knees, not his back.

Vinegar: I think Sidney just yelled the same thing at her.

Lieberjosch: She’s a smart woman.

Covert Jay: She’s also hot. Rawr.

Lieberjosch: Would you stop that? It’s disgusting.

Vinegar: Kenzi runs back and bounces off of the ropes again. She comes racing back towards The Captain, who attempts to reach out and grab her, but she executes a baseball slide between his legs.

Lieberjosch: See, that’s smart. She has the speed advantage and she should use is. He’s about as mobile as cinder block.

Covert Jay: If you put a cinder block in your car and drive it somewhere, it’s mobile.

Lieberjosch: No. It’s not. The car is.

Covert Jay: How do you know?

Lieberjosch: Because I understand who physics work.

Vinegar: Speaking of physics…

Lieberjosch: Nice transition, Nicholas.

Vinegar: Thank you. As I was saying, Kenzi comes up behind The Captain and throws another dropkick at him, but this time she drives it into the back of his left knee, which causes him to stumble. She throws another one into the back of his knee that drops him down to one knee, then wraps an arm around his neck, pushes up off of the mat…

Lieberjosch: And gets thrown about five feet.

Vinegar: There’s the power she’s going to have to be wary of. She’s giving away a lot of raw strength in this match and she can’t fall prey to it.

Covert Jay: Sidney just jumped up onto the apron…

Lieberjosch: Before you make another borderline offensive remark about her appearance, don’t.

Covert Jay: I wasn’t going to. I was just going to comment about how Sydney is acting like a ninja in this match. She’s being all deceptive and stuff.

Lieberjosch: “And stuff”...

Vinegar: Let it go, Hans.

Lieberjosch: It’s so difficult sometimes. He’s such a moron…

Vinegar: As soon as Sydney gets up onto the apron, the Captain and Brian Chartreuse both walk over and tell her to get down.

Lieberjosch: Did The Captain just offer to help her down before she gets hurt?

Vinegar: It sounded that way.

Lieberjosch: Sidney wants to be careful here. She doesn’t want to get her daughter to get disqualified because if something she does.

Vinegar: Absolutely not. While Brian is distracted by her, The Captain seems to have turned his attention back to Kenzi. He backs up into the corner and waits for her to get to her feet in the opposite corner.

Covert Jay: Fly, muti-colored masked weirdo, fly!

Lieberjosch: Did you just call a fellow masked man a “weirdo”?

Covert Jay: Yes. He’s not a ninja. He’s just a dude in a mask.

Lieberjosch: “Pot” meet “Kettle”.

Vinegar: Meanwhile, back in the ring, The Captain comes crashing down on Kenzi with a corner splash and when she stumbles out of the corner he plants her into the canvas with an old school DDT.

Lieberjosch: I may not like the goofball, but I can appreciate his approach so far.

Vinegar: He pulls Kenzi from the mat, hoists her up onto his shoulder and takes off running.

Lieberjosch: Sydney is still up on the apron and Brian has told her that if she doesn’t get down by five, he’s going to eject her.

Vinegar: Huge powerslam by The Captain!

Covert Jay: He might have squashed her flat!

Lieberjosch: Brian has gotten for four and Sydney finally drops off of the apron.

Vinegar: Yes, but The Captain had been pinning Kenzi the entire time. Thanks to her mother’s distraction, Brian is just now getting to the count.

Lieberjosch: That’s what a good manager or valet is for.

Vinegar: Brian gets to two and a half before Kenzi kicks out.

Lieberjosch: Then Sidney did her job. She kept her her daughter from losing.

Vinegar: The Captain stands up and pulls Kenzi up by the back of her head. As soon as he has control over her, he locks her into an abdominal stretch.

Lieberjosch: It’s not flashy, but it’s not a bad move either.

Vinegar: Brian asks her if she wants to give up and she tells him no.

Lieberjosch: I appreciate her determination, but every second that she’s in that hold works to his advantage.

Vinegar: The Captain pulls back on the abdominal stretch and Kenzi yells in pain. Brian asks her again if she wants to give up and she refuses to again. Kenzi begins to struggle back against the hold, but can’t move as he has her tied up pretty securely. She stops struggling and momentarily goes limp.

Covert Jay: Is she OK?

Lieberjosch: She’s fine. It’s a tactic.

Vinegar: Captain 80s relaxes his hold a bit and Kenzi uses the slackening to twist her way out of his hold. She steps up on his staggers him with a an enziguri. The Captain stumbles backwards into the ropes while Kenzi takes a moment to recover.

Covert Jay: What’s Sidney doing?

Lieberjosch: She appears to be holding the Captain in place by the foot.

Vinegar: Brian needs to get her away from the ring!

Lieberjosch: He’s telling her to back off. Kenzi doesn’t appear to be aware that she’s there.

Vinegar: Kenzi kips up and charges at The Captain. She leaps up at the last moment and wraps her legs around his head to execute a hurricanrana.

Lieberjosch: Sidney let go just as she did.

Vinegar: There they go!

Covert Jay: Ninja out!

Lieberjosch: She landed on her feet on the apron. Very impressive.

Vinegar: Kenzi crouches on the apron and waits for The Captain to stir....

Lieberjosch: This is a big moment for Kenzi. This could turn the match in her favor.

Vinegar: The Captain turns around and Kenzi takes to the sky!

Covert Jay: Hurricanrana onto the floor!

Vinegar: The Captain is down!

Lieberjosch: She needs to get him back into the ring.

Vinegar: Kenzi walks over to The Captain and grabs him by the back of his tights. She drags him over to the ring and tries to push him in, but she can’t get him onto the apron.

Lieberjosch: She’d better figure it out.

Vinegar: Thankfully for her, The Captain appears to be pulling himself back into the ring.

Lieberjosch: She slides in after him and sets up in the corner.

Vinegar: The Captain slowly gets back to his feet and staggers in her direction.

Covert Jay: This is when the magic happens.

Lieberjosch: What the hell are you on about?

Vinegar: The Captain staggers into center ring and Kenzi leaps up.... “Breakout Performance”!

Lieberjosch: Now would be the time to pin the man.

Vinegar: Sidney agrees, if her jumping up and down is any indication.

Lieberjosch: I’d imagine it is.

Vinegar: Kenzi barely manages to push The Captain over and hooks his leg. Chartreuse drops to the mat and hammers out a one count before The Captain kicks out!

Lieberjosch: I’m oddly impressed.

Vinegar: Damn it, Brian! Get control over Sidney! Throw her the hell out!

Lieberjosch: She’s an incredibly efficient distraction.

Vinegar: Kenzi gets to her feet and runs to spring back off of the ropes. She charges at the Captain

Covert Jay: Clothesline from The Captain!

Lieberjosch: That just changed the entire context of this match.

Vinegar: The Captain pulls Kenzi up and drops her with a massive backbreaker that he transitions into a Boston Crab. Kenzi yells out in pain and slams her fist into the mat. Chartreuse asks her if she wants to submit and she refuses to.

Covert Jay: Hi Sidney! Come over here, I want to take you on a date!

Lieberjosch: She’s ignoring you. Which she should.

Vinegar: She’s too busy distracting Brian again. This is getting out of hand.

Lieberjosch: She’s also distracting Captain 80s.

Vinegar: He actually sounds kind if annoyed right now as he yells at Sidney to get off of the apron.

Lieberjosch: It gives Kenzi a perfect chance to recover.

Vinegar: She’’s back to her feet and she climbs up the turnbuckle. Sidney jumps down off of the apron and Captain 80s turns around to look for Kenzi. Kenzi waits for him to step towards her and as soon as he does, she leaps off of the turnbuckle…

Covert Jay: Hurricanrana!

Vinegar: That was perfectly timed and the force of the move throws Captain 80s into the corner. Kenzi runs to the other corner, turns and bolts across the ring. She leaps...dropkick into the corner! She leaps back up and darts across the ring. She turns and charges at The Captain again and delivers another dropkick on The Captain into the corner.

Lieberjosch: She’s completely reversed the course of this match.

Vinegar: You mean that Sidney has.

Lieberjosch: No, I meant what I said. Yes, Sidney gave her the opening, but Kenzi took advantage of it and has neutralized The Captain again.

Vinegar: That’s a very cherry-picked way to describe that.

Lieberjosch: I can’t help it that you can’t see things the right way.

Vinegar: Kenzi charges across the ring again…

Covert Jay: Alley oop!

Lieberjosch: Kenzi got an impressive amount of air.

Vinegar: Yes, just not for the reason that she wanted.

Lieberjosch: I’m sure that she’s have preferred to have done it herself, but that time The Captain helped her.

Covert Jay: “Helped”? He threw her up in the air.

Lieberjosch: Sure, but it was the landing that hurt her.

Vinegar: I don’t like the way she landed.

Lieberjosch: She did come down hard on her right arm.

Vinegar: Brian is checking on her now. The Captain walks over to her but Brian tells him to get back, which he does.

Lieberjosch: Idiot.

Vinegar: He listened to the Referee. He’s not an idiot.

Lieberjosch: He has the perfect chance to put her away and he’s letting Chartreuse get in his way.

Vinegar: He doesn’t want to get disqualified.

Lieberjosch: He looks genuinely concerned for her. Sucker.

Vinegar: “Sucker”? Do you think she’s faking it?

Lieberjosch: Not at all. That was unarguably a bad landing.

Covert Jay: Sidney’s back in the ring.

Vinegar: Here we go again.

Lieberjosch: The Captain doesn’t see her. He’s too busy being a nice guy.

Vinegar: He’s concerned about his opponent. What’s so bad about that?

Lieberjosch: It won’t help him win.

Vinegar: Sidney drops to one knee behind Captain 80s…. OH COME ON!!!!

Covert Jay: Low bridge!!

Lieberjosch: That was some junk shot.

Vinegar: Did you just say “junk shot”?

Lieberjosch: Yes. She hit him in the junk.

Vinegar: Yes, she did. I was just surprised to hear you use the word.

Lieberjosch: I’m down with what’s hip.

Vinegar: Yes, as that remark inarguably proves.

Lieberjosch: I know.

Vinegar: Captain 80s stumbles back into the corner and slumps down as Chartreuse continues to check on Kenzi. Sidney slides back out of the ring and walks around to the corner that Captain 80s is slumped down into.

Covert Jay: I wish she’d get that close to me.

Lieberjosch: You want her to hit you in the crotch?

Covert Jay: Well, not hit me…

Vinegar: Annnnnnyway. Captain 80s slowly pulls himself up with the ropes. He begins to thrust his arms up and down and the fans respond with a thunderous cheer. He appears to be charging himself up and using the crowd to help fire him up.

Lieberjosch: I wish this shtick had died in the decade he can’t get himself out of.

Vinegar: He points at Kenzi and yells “YOU” and the crowd yells it along with him. He grabs the ropes and looks as if he’s ready to charge at Kenzi as soon as Brian is done with her.

Lieberjosch: Brian needs to man up here. He’s the referee and she’s making him look like an idiot.

Vinegar: Kenzi has no idea.

Lieberjosch: Sidney is smart enough to do it when she’s not looking. She’s not looking now as The Captain slowly gets to his feet and takes a couple of steps out of the corner.

Vinegar: Not again! Damn it!

Lieberjosch: He tripped. I don’t see what your problem is.

Vinegar: He didn’t “trip”. Sidney tripped him!

Lieberjosch: He tripped over her hand.

Vinegar: That’s a lame justification, even for you.

Lieberjosch: It’s not my fault that he’s such a klutz. He even managed to fall backwards and crotch himself on the ring post. Weird,

Covert Jay: That’s not very ninjalike.

Lieberjosch: Exactly, Jay. Exactly.

Vinegar: Are you two serious?

Lieberjosch: Of course.

Vinegar: Sidney grabbed his leg, tripped him and then pulled him backwards into the post!

Lieberjosch: I didn’t see it that way.

Vinegar: Didn’t see it that way? How else was there to see it?

Lieberjosch: He tripped.

Vinegar: You’re impossible.

Lieberjosch: Kenzi is getting up and she looks at her mother suspiciously as The Captain pulls himself out of the corner.

Covert Jay: Do you think she’d let me help her with her movie career?

Lieberjosch: What? What the hell does that have to do with anything?

Covert Jay: Nothing. I’m just curious.

Lieberjosch: You’re such an imbecile.

Vinegar: Kenzi looks from her mother to Captain 80s and then back to her mother, who is jumping up and down and pointing as she bellows at her daughter to finish him off.

Covert Jay: “Finish him off”. I wish Sidney would finish me off.

Lieberjosch: You’re disgusting. Please try to be professional for once.

Vinegar: Kenzi looks from her mother back to Captain 80s, then charges across the ring and leaps…

Covert Jay: “The Walk of Fame”!

Vinegar: Kenzi drops into the cover. Chartreuse drops to the mat…

Fans: One!

Covert Jay: Two!

Lieberjosch: No!

Vinegar: Captain 80s kicks out and nearly throws Kenzi half way across the ring. She kips up and runs back to The Captain, who is still dazed from the curb stomp. She waits for Captain 80s to get to his knees, then wraps his arm under her leg with his neck behind her behind her knee…

Covert Jay: The Blockbuster! She just drove The Captain face first into the mat!

Vinegar: Kenzi rolls him over and hooks his leg. Chartreuse drops to the mat. There’s the “one”!

Lieberjosch: Two!

Fans: THREE!!!

Vinegar: Kenzi advances!

Lieberjosch: Gray-Lacklan advances to the final round in the WrestleStock Tournament and continues her incredible march forward!

Vinegar: I just got word that we’re going to Magdalena Lockheart!

[DrunkenBuzzsaw]

BACKSTAGE: LOCKER ROOM OF THE CROSS HEMISPHERE CHAMPION

When the feed cuts to the backstage area, it shows the locker room door of the Cross-Hemisphere Champion. But unlike recent weeks, there is only one name on the door. Cutting again, the feed now on the inside of the locker room, Magdalena Lockheart is seen preparing for the match ahead. Clad in her ring gear, Lockheart performs some hamstring stretches with her championship belt perched to stand upright on a nearby wooden bench. Lockheart stops to take a drink from a bottle of water and dry her face off with a towel. As she pats her cheeks dry there’s a knock on her door.

Magdalena Lockheart: Just a minute…

Maggie paused for a moment. She wasn’t sure who was on the other side of that door. She thought about grabbing her brass knuckles for a moment, but decides against it. The person knocks on the door again.

Magdalena Lockheart: Hold on!

She strides over to the door and opens it with caution.

Magdalena Lockheart: What can I do for… oh. I wasn’t expecting you.

Lockheart opens the door wide.

Lucy Wylde: May I come in?

Magdalena Lockheart: Sure. You know that you don’t need to ask.

The World Heavyweight Champion steps inside.

Lucy Wylde: Sure I do, this isn’t my locker room, after all.

Magdalena Lockheart: Well, it is day three. I have it on good authority that you will get your own tomorrow.

Lucy shrugs her shoulders, coming to sit down on the wooden bench.

Lucy Wylde: So.. How’re you doing?

Magdalena Lockheart: I’m rollin’ Lucy. Just getting ready to set out on what I came here for.

Lucy nods her head, looking around the room as she fiddles with the buttons on her shirt.

Lucy Wylde: You’ll do great.

Magdalena Lockheart: Oh, I know.

Lucy Wylde: Yeah, of course you do.

She says quietly, sighing and shaking her head.

Magdalena Lockheart: Is there... something I can do for you?

Maggie’s tone takes Lucy off guard, making the world champion rise to her feet.

Lucy Wylde: No, nothing you can do for me.. Per se. I just wanted to see you before your match.. And apologize.

Maggie takes another sip of water. She shakes her head with the bottle pressed to her lips.

Magdalena Lockheart: No. It’s not up to you to apologize Luce. I should be the one offering the apology. I snapped at you.

Lucy Wylde: And I’ve been a total Bitch lately. You were right though, all you’ve ever tried to do since the attacks was help me. It’s not your fault that I didn’t want that help because I’ve felt helpless enough these last few weeks. I’ve been horrible to you and you didn’t deserve that.

Maggie thinks for a moment. She looks down at the ground between her feet.

Magdalena Lockheart: Well I’ve thought about it a lot since then. I could have handled the situation a bit better. I didn’t tell you how I felt.

Lucy Wylde: You handled it the way any person under the amount of pressure that you’ve been under would have.

Magdalena Lockheart: Perhaps.

Maggie sighs.

Magdalena Lockheart: In my mind that pressure is what I felt when I was trying to live up to who you are… to your legacy. I tried so hard to find that potential that I suppose that you used to see in me.

Lucy Wylde: Maggie, I still see that potential in you...

Magdalena Lockheart: Well, I won’t lie. I wanted to blame you for the pressure, I really did. I… realize now that the only person that I have to blame is myself. Tonight, I’m gonna change that. I’m going to start making my own path, my own decisions, even if I don’t quite realize what that means… or what I’ll be capable of.

Lucy closes her eyes for a moment, shaking her head.

Lucy Wylde: G-Good. That’s good. That you’re going to make your own path, I mean. You deserve to be seen more than ‘Lucy Wyldes sidekick’. You’re so much more than that. Hell, you were never that at all.

Magdalena Lockheart: It’s been your advice that has gotten me this far, Luce.

Lucy shrugs again.

Lucy Wylde: Nah. Your own willingness to learn and grow through all the shit these people have thrown at you is what’s gotten you to where you’re at.

Magdalena Lockheart: I might not be your sidekick anymore, but, that doesn’t mean that I’m not willing to keep on standing beside you.

Wylde nods her head and steps back towards the door.

Lucy Wylde: Yeah, yeah.. I-I know. I appreciate it.

Magdalena Lockheart: I mean it… though everything.

She puts her hand on the doorknob and turns around, forcing a smile on her face.

Lucy Wylde: But hey, you got a match to get ready for… Good luck tonight. I know you won’t need it...

Maggie grabs Lucy by the hand and spins her around. Lucy is startled. After a few moments of intense staring Maggie pushes Lucy back first against the wall, and plants a hard kiss on her. After a few seconds, Maggie pulls away, leaving Lucy blinking in surprise.

Lucy Wylde: What.. what are you doing? We’re at work, in public...

Magdalena Lockheart: You’re not in public, you’re in my locker room. I’m doing what feels right for me. Did you not like it?

Lucy slides out from in front of Maggie, shaking her head.

Lucy Wylde: It.. It’s not that. I- just… Hold that thought. I’ve got a surprise for you… and I need to go finish getting everything together. Consider it the ‘official apology’.

She says, opening the door and stepping out through the threshold. Before she closes the door behind her, she pokes her head back in.

Lucy Wylde: I love you.

She doesn’t give Maggie the chance to respond before the doors closed, leaving the Cross-Hemisphere Champion once again by herself.

[DrunkenBuzzsaw]

2:30

The view opens to show the smiling face of Aaron Reese standing next to Jim "The Bomb" Grande. The two stand in front of a food stand named "Spyder and Colin's Pure Pain New York Pizza". The two PPW legends stand behind the counter and both are decked in black PPW t-shirts. James Spyder has a white "UGWC" ballcap on his head while Colin wears a large, white chef's hat. The line in front of their stand is long, although not the longest one in the park.

"Welcome back ladies and gentlemen and I'm here in front of the food stand of PPW legends Colin Zale and James Spyder." He says. "The two men are her dishing out New York style pizza and they've been doing a brisk business since they opened at ten o'clock this morning."

He's interrupted by the sound of loud chewing. The camera pans to the left to show Jim "The Bomb" Grande shoving a dinner plate sized slice of pizza into his mouth as the grease runs down his hands.

"Enjoying the food, are we?" He asks.

"This is damned good pizza." He says through the sounds of loud chewing.

"Which slice did you get?" Reese asks.

"The firebomb special." Grande replies. "But I don't get why they call it that. It's not that..."

He stops speaking in mid sentence as his face turns a deep crimson. He turns towards Reese with a horrified expression on his face.

"What the hell did they put on this?" Grande demands. "I feel like someone has launched a napalm strike inside my mouth!!!"

Reese smiles.

"It's not what's on the pizza." he replies. "It's what's in it."

Grande grabs Reese by the collar and shakes him.

"WHAT THE HELL IS IN THIS???!!!" He bellows.

"Ghost pepper." Reese replies. "It's mixed in with the sauce."

"Oh fuck me running!" Grande replies as his hands drop and he looks around frantically. His eyes finally settle on the "Dunk the Dink" tank, which has PPW Hall of Fame Member Shake Kast sitting on the drop platform. "The Bomb" turns and dashes at the tank at a dead sprint, at least what passes as a "dead sprint" for him. He aggressively waddles past the cordon line, shoves his way past the guard at the steps, impressively takes the steps three at a time, darts across the platform and dives head first into the tank, much to the amusement of Shane Kast.

At least before the tidal wave that followed in the wake of "The Bomb" slams into him and drenches him from head to foot. He lifts his arms and looks at his saturated clothing, before he shrugs and smiles.

Then gets dropped into the tank.

Reese watches it and smiles, then looks back at the camera.

"That was damned entertaining." He says before he looks at his shoulder. "It was even worth having to change my shirt again."

He chuckles and looks back at the camera.

"Back to you Nick, Hans."

The camera goes back to the announcers table to show the smiling faces of Nick Vinegar and Hans Lieberjosch.

Lieberjosch: "Well, that was...interesting."

Vinegar: "Yes it was. Now we get to watch what is certain to be a fantastic 'WrestleStock Cup' semi-final match as 'The Answer' JC takes on Sarah Serena Lacklan to see who advances to face Kenzi Gray-Lacklan in the finals."

Lieberjosch: "As much as I like JC, I'd love to see wife battle wife and #CoolKid battle #CoolKid."

Vinegar: "I'm with you and we're about to find out if that's going to happen. Let's go to the ring."

Mitchell Dennis: Ladies and gentlemen the SECOND match of the night is also a semi-final match in the 2018 "WrestleStock Cup" and it is for ONE FALL. Introducing FIRST...

The lights go out, bathing the arena in darkness except for a familiar dark shade of blue. The first notes of a song begin to play, causing the arena lights to flash, before a voice cries out in the arena.

GO!

"The Man Without Fear" by Drowning Pool and Rob Zombie kicks in and blue pyro blasts from the sides of the stage and JC comes out wearing his trenchcoat, staring out at the audience. Lights start to flash in the arena as he makes his way to the ring to the sounds of the chorus.

Suddenly you rule the universe
Everything was shapeless now clear
I visualize like a drop of sound
I am The Man Without Fear
You can't hurt me...NO!
You can't stop me...NO!
You can't beat me...NO!
You can't bring me DOWN!

JC slides into the ring and climbs up on the middle rope of the side with the hard camera, raising his arms up and down to try to pump up the crowd. He jumps down and walks over to the same side before doing the same thing. JC then moves to a corner and tosses his trenchcoat to the outside before stretching before the match.

Dennis: He enters this match standing in at six- feet, five inches and he weighs in at two- hundred and fifty- five pounds. He's a FIVE TIME World Heavyweight Champion across three promotions. He hails from East Rutherford, New Jersey...ladies and gentlemen, I give you "THE ANSWER" JAYYYYYYY CEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

Vinegar: "The Answer" looks ready to go. Perhaps as ready as I've ever seen him.

Lieberjosch: He looks none the worse for wear from his match against Elizabeth Blackwell. Not that he should. He basically ran away with it.

Vinegar: It wasn't quite that lopsided.

Lieberjosch: I saw it differently.

Vinegar: Well, now we'll get to see if he can do the same to Sarah Selena-Lacklan. Let's go back to the ring!

Dennis: Introducing the SECOND participant in this match...

The lights go out as a red spotlight flashes down on the entrance area. Beethoven’s Moonlight Sonata begins to play over the PA system and a body steps out onto the entrance ramp. Kenzi Grey, the sexiest valet in the history of all sporting events, is wearing a #PleaseShitUp t-shirt and stands in the spotlight for a moment, but then moves out of the way and gestures for a figure in a hooded robe to take her place as the guitars hit. Kenzi pulls back the hood to the the bright white face and red eyes of the Red Queen. They make their way down the isle with the red spotlight following them as the rest of the arena stays dark. When they come to the ring, the two slide underneath the ropes and upon standing, Kenzi and Sarah stands nose to nose. Kenzi helps Sarah remove her robe to show the black skin-tight bodysuit beneath with the figure of a large firebird in flight on the back

Dennis: She enters this match as the wife of fellow talent Kenzi Gray-Lacklan and a fellow member of the #CoolKids. She stands in at five-feet, two-inches tall and weighs one-hundred and forty two and a half pounds. She is "The Red Queen", Sarah Selena LACKLAAAAAAAAAN!!!!

Vinegar: This is going to be one hell of a challenge for Lacklan. If she wants to advance and try to repeat as the winner of the WrestleStock Cup, she's going to have to chop down a literal mountain.

Lieberjosch: I don't normally go for hyperbole, Nicholas and in this case I can't help but find your assessment to be accurate.

Covert Jay: He's a big dude.

Lieberjosch: Thanks for dumbing it down for the rest of the class.

Covery Jay: You're welcome!

Lieberjosch: Why do I bother?

Vinegar: I have no idea, but I respect your tenacity. Hazel East has a tall order ahead of her here.

Covert Jay: Was that a pun?

Vinegar: No.

Covert Jay: Oh. I thought it was.

Lieberjosch: Don't lie. Lying is bad, Jay.

Covert Jay: I didn't lie.

Lieberjosch: Sure you did, you said that you "thought".

Vinegar: Mercifully, there's the bell and we're away. Lacklan and JC advance to center ring and spend a few moments circling each other before Lacklan ducks around behind him and lands a forearm to his back.

Lieberjosch: He barely flinched. She's going to have to do better than that if she's going to make up the nearly foot and a half size difference.

Vinegar: She throws another forearm, followed by a third.

Lieberjosch: How many times does one have to punch a redwood before one realizes that the tree doesn't care?

Covert Jay: I have no idea. I'll go find out!

Lieberjosch: You do that.

Covert Jay: OK! I'll be back in a few minutes!

Lieberjosch: Take all of the time that you need.

Vinegar: That might have been the most ruthless manipulation of stupidity that I've ever seen.

Lieberjosch: Thank you.

Vinegar: I'm not sure that I meant that as a compliment.

Lieberjosch: I choose to take it as one.

Vinegar: Of course you do. Meanwhile, in the ring, Ms Lacklan bounces off of the ropes and leaps up for a dropkick, but JC turns around and swats her out of the air. She crashed into the mat and springs to her feet, but JC sends her back down with a face full of boot.

Lieberjosch: That's not my preferred way to enjoy sole.

Vinegar: Really, Hans? You can do better than that.

Lieberjosch: It's still better than Jay.

Vinegar: That's the standard you're willing to stoop to? I expect better from you.

Lieberjosch: They can't all be funny.

Vinegar: That one certainly wasn't.

Lieberjosch: Speaking of "funny", I doubt that Mrs Lacklan has found the last couple of minutes terribly funny.

Vinegar: That's true, Hans. JC has asserted his physical dominance and displayed his mastery of multiple variations of the suplex.

Lieberjosch: I've counted seven so far. He's already hit her with every suplex that we've ever seen him use, except for the Butterfly Suplex and the release German Suplex.

Vinegar: I doubt that Lacklan finds any solace in that knowledge.

Lieberjosch: I doubt it.

Vinegar: He strides over and pulls her crumpled form off of the mat. He pulls her up, lifts her overhead and slams her down onto her back with painful looking powerbomb, then flips her over and drops down for a cover.

Lieberjosch: He might just have it done.

Vinegar: Hazel drops down to the mat for the pin.

Lieberjosch: One!

Vinegar: Two!

Lieberjosch: Lacklan kicks out at two and a half.

Vinegar: JC looks like he's entertained by it.

Lieberjosch: I'm sure that he'll find pummeling her into the mat a bit more to be even more entertaining.

Vinegar: Maybe. At any rate, he pulls her off of the mat and tosses her across the ring with another overhead release suplex. She crashes back down to the mat and slides into the corner. JC follows her over and begins to lay into her with a barrage of punches.

Lieberjosch: As if her ribs didn't hurt enough already.

Vinegar: Hazel tells him to back off and let her out of the corner and he does so with a nod. Lacklan staggers out of the corner with a wince. JC waits for her to get out to him...

Lieberjosch: Sidewalk slam. He continues to work her ribs over. I guess he figures that although both of her finishers involve her legs, with the "Shining Wizard" and her inverted DDT, that she won't be able to do either one if she can't breathe.

Vinegar: It's hard to argue with that logic.

Lieberjosch: Indeed.

Vinegar: JC pulls Lacklan up and whips her into the ropes. He darts across the ring. It looks like he's loading up for a clothesline.

Lieberjosch: JC, meet the floor.

Vinegar: Lacklan dropped at the last second and pulled the top rope down. JC goes toppling out to the floor.

Lieberjosch: This could be the turning point for her.

Vinegar: Lacklan ascends the turnbuckle. She lines JC up and takes to the air...double stomp from the top rope!!

Lieberjosch: Painful, but effective.

Vinegar: JC lets out a part yell, part choke of pain as Lacklan rolls off of him and leaps back to her feet. She looks down at the fallen JC and smiles as he lays on the floor, clutching at his stomach in pain. Lacklan leaps back up onto the apron and then leaps to the outside of the top rope. She looks back down at him and takes to the air again...

Lieberjosch: Cannonball knees. She's smart to keep targeting his stomach.

Vinegar: She crashes into him and drives her knees into his stomach again and JC loudly chokes this time. Lacklan rolls off of him and scampers back up to the ring apron. She leaps up onto the turnbuckle one more time and looks down to make sure her positioning is accurate.

Lieberjosch: JC looks like he's in a world of pain and might be having problems breathing after that knee strike.

Vinegar: I agree, Hans. His breaths are a little raspy. Lacklan looks at Hazel, who tells her to get down. Lacklan smiles and goes flying off of the ropes.

Lieberjosch: JC hasn't moved.

Vinegar: Four-fifty! Lacklan springs up and grabs JC by his shoulders.

Lieberjosch: If she intends on pulling him back to the ring, it's going to be a tough job. He can't be much more than dead weight right now.

Vinegar: The way his gasping for air, I don't think he feels like moving.

Lieberjosch: I've seen him survive worse. He's a tough man.

Vinegar: Absolutely. As Lacklan tried to pull him up, he tried to pull himself up. Between the two of them, they stumbled to the apron before Lacklan rolled back in under the rope and broke Hazel's count.

Lieberjosch: Smart move on her part.

Vinegar: She steps back out onto the apron and sizes him up as he lays bent over and uses the apron for support. Having his head on his arms so that he can't see seems like a risky decision.

Lieberjosch: I bet you that he's perfectly aware of where he is right now and has a plan.

Vinegar: I wouldn't be surprised if that is the case, given his experience. Lacklan holds up her hands as if she's lining him up, then leaps up and runs across the apron...

Fans: OHHHHH!!!!

Lieberjosch: I told you.

Vinegar: JC was laying in wait. As soon as Lacklan lashed out with her foot, he moved his head, scooped and lifted her and then slammed her down back first on the ring apron. She rolled off and now she's the one who's immobile on the floor.

Lieberjosch: I knew it wouldn't be that easy for her. He hasn't been as successful as he has been for no reason.

Vinegar: JC lifts her up, although not without an expression of considerable pain coming across his face and rolls her back into the ring. He follows her in and scoops her up.

Lieberjosch: Now's when we find out who wants this more. Both are injured and in pain. I'd still give the advantage to Lacklan because of JC's current issues with breathing.

Vinegar: JC just picked Lacklan up over head and threw her down like a sack of potatoes. I'm not certain that she's not as sore as he is at the moment.

Lieberjosch: That did look like a pretty painful landing.

Vinegar: JC pauses for a moment and grabs at his ribs with a wince, then pulls Lacklan off of the canvas. He whips her across the ring and hoists her up onto his shoulders when she comes bouncing back...

Lieberjosch: Solitaire Unraveling!

Vinegar: That could be it, Hans!

Lieberjosch: Yes, but that spinebuster couldn't have felt good to him. I'd bet that it sent a shock wave of pain shooting through his midsection.

Vinegar: JC collapses on top of Lacklan. Hazel drops to the mat for the count.

Fans: ONE!

Lieberjosch: Two!

Vinegar: Thre...NO!! Lacklan gets her shoulder up at the last second!!

Lieberjosch: Impressive. She's a tough little woman.

Vinegar: JC slowly pulls himself to his feet and grabs Lacklan.

Fans: OWWW!!!

Vinegar: I don't know that the shot to the jaw that he took hurt JC as much as it surprised him, but it did give Lacklan and opening.

Lieberjosch: She'd better take advantage of it!

Vinegar: Lacklan leaps up. She wraps her legs around JC and whips him into the ropes with a hurricanrana.

Lieberjosch: He's hung up, don't admire your work. She needs to keep him off balance if she's going to beat him!

Vinegar: She runs across the ring and bounces off of the ropes.

Lieberjosch: She needs to keep working on his ribs.

Vinegar: Cannonball into his back!

Lieberjosch: Just like that. That was great creativity.

Vinegar: She rolls off and back to her feet as JC springs off of the ropes and falls to the mat, clutching at his lower back.

Lieberjosch: It's clearly taking its toll on him. I'm sure he's concerned about cramps, even if he'd never admit it.

Vinegar: Lacklan leaps up and comes down onto his chest with senton, then kips up to her feet. JC grabs the top rope and pulls himself up with them. He turns and takes a pair of short steps towards Lacklan. He grabs for her but she dodges out of the way...

Lieberjosch: Right hook to the injured back! JC twists to the side in and almost drops to a knee!

Vinegar: She calls that "The Cop Killa" and she just landed a second one to the same spot! JC drops to a knee, grimacing in pain and she lands a third!

Lieberjosch: This time to his head!

Vinegar: But it didn't knock him over! He might be out, but he's still on his feet!

Lieberjosch: Well, one knee anyway.

Vinegar: She bends over and looks him in the face and his eyes look glassy. She takes a step back, throws another hook toward his head, but he barely blocks it with his arms.

Lieberjosch: Not that one!

Vinegar: No! That "Cop Killa" caught him flush on the right side of his head.

Lieberjosch: How's he still not down?! He looks like he's trying to get to his feet!

Vinegar: I don't think he knows where he is right now. This has to be pure instinct!

Lieberjosch: I wouldn't doubt it.

Vinegar: Lacklan runs sideways and uses the ropes for extra momentum...she springs off and charges at his blind side.

Lieberjosch: At the moment I'd bet that the entire arena is his blindside. I doubt that he's seeing anything.

Vinegar: SHINING WIZARD!!!

Lieberjosch: Jesus, did you hear that impact?! It was louder than those two shot to the head that he took, and that's saying something.

Vinegar: That finally took him down, mercifully.

Lieberjosch: I have to agree with you. She could pin him now and there's no way in hell that he'd kick out.

Vinegar: It looks like she's agrees with you.

Lieberjosch: Good. There's no need to hit him again. Show the man some respect!

Vinegar: She drops on top of JC and hooks his leg. Hazel drops to the mat...

Lieberjosch: One!

Vinegar: Two!

Fans: Thre...OHHHHH!!!

Lieberjosch: How the fuck did he kick out of that?

Vinegar: Normally, Hans I'd chide you for cursing.

Lieberjosch: But?

Vinegar: But in this case, I agree with you. Sarah pulls JC up from the mat and positions him for "The Abyss".

Lieberjosch: There it is!

Vinegar: Hazel drops for the count!

Fans: ONE!

Lieberjosch: Two!

Vinegar: THRE....NO WAY!!!

Lieberjosch: How in the hell did he kick out again?

Vinegar: I have no idea, but there wasn't much force behind it. Lacklan looks stunned and a little frustrated. She roughly yanks him off of the canvas and drills him with another "Cop Killa". She grabs him when it spins him around, positions him and... "THE ABYSS!!!" This has to be it! Hazel drops to the mat!

Lieberjosch: This has to be it!

Vinegar: ONE!

Lieberjosch: TWO!!

Fans: THREE!!!

Vinegar: FINALLY! Lacklan gets the pin after she literally had to beat JC into submission and she moves on to the finals!!

Lieberjosch: My god he's a tough son of a bitch!

Dennis: Ladies and gentlemen, your winner by way of a PINFALL.... "The Red Queen" SARAH SERENA LAAAAAAACKLAAAAAANNNNN!!!!

Vinegar: What a win for Lacklan! Let's go back to the fairgrounds while our medical personnel checks on both talents.

[DrunkenBuzzsaw]

Reese: Thank you, gentlemen. As you'll no doubt notice, Jim Grande has not returned since his unplanned swim in the dunk tank. From what I'm told, he's currently in his trailer sulking and will return next segment. In the meantime, I'm...wait...

He pauses and presses his hand to his hear. Seconds later his face drops and a frown takes it over.

Reese: Do I have to?

He pauses again.

Reese: Fine.

He looks back at the camera.

Reese: Gentlemen, I've been told that I have to go fetch Jim Grande. Since we're paying him, management wants him in the broadcast, so I have to go find him. Back to you, gentlemen.

Vinegar: Thank you, Aaron! Let's get back to the ring. It's time for the first of our two matches to settle the fallout of the prematurely ended Co-Operative Championship match from last night. Creative Director Hastings was incensed last night when the match broke down into a violent brawl in the ring after Eden tried to set Alan Wallace on fire. This is the first of the two matches that he made to settle their differences.

Lieberjosch: The second one is an Inferno Match, which is hardly necessary.

Vinegar: Fire has been an enduring theme of the violent feud between Eden and "Vain" and Creative Director Hastings has to hope that this match will finally end it.

Lieberjosch: So what's the point of our next match, then?

Vinegar: Jet and Zane have had an enthusiastic rivalry for years now and over the past few months it's become even more heated as Jet continues to call Zane a failure and criticize him for his recent championship runs. While I expect a great match, I doubt that this will truly settle anything between them.

Lieberjosch: I agree. This rivalry isn't going to be over after tonight.

Vinegar: Mitchell is ready for the announcements, so let's get to the ring.

[DrunkenBuzzsaw]

Dennis: Ladies and gentlemen, your next match is a regular match between two long time rivals. One represents "Pain and Paradox" and the other represents "The Court". Introducing first...

The lone guitar chord begins to reverberate through the dark arena. It's quickly joined by the drums, at which point white a silver strobe lights begin to alight the stage.

Nasty, nasty
Triple X rated

A loud tone that resembles a siren begins to scream through the arena, at which point the arena goes dark again.

Nasty, nasty
Justice, a waste-pit

The silver lights come back on, focused on Zane Scott, who stands on the stage. He looks out over the arena with a smile on his face and then focuses on the ring. The spotlights resume flashing around the stage as Zane looks at the ring.

Nasty, nasty
Deeper in the dirt
Nasty, nasty
Making bodies hurt

He raises the renamed "Lord of Pain-Thriller" overhead with his left hand and holds it there for a few seconds

Deep down!
Deep down!
Deeper down!

Zane lowers the chair and begins to walk to the ring. The lyrics continue to blare through the arena as he walks to the ring. Once he reaches the bottom of the ramp he slides the "Lord of Pain-Thriller" into the ring in the near corner then grabs the top rope and pulls himself up onto the apron with it. He waits on the apron for a few seconds, wipes his feet and then steps through the ropes and into the ring. He walks over to the corner, picks up the "Lord of Pain-Thriller" and ascends the near turnbuckle. He holds the chair up over his head for a few moments as his music continues to blare. After he drops from the turnbuckle, he walks to center ring and raises the "Lord of Pain-Thriller" overhead again before he allows Sam Green to check him for foreign objects. Once Green is finished, the strobes stop, the lights go back up and Zane walks back to his corner and places his favored weapon in it, after which he turns around and stands with his arms folded in his corner to await the arrival of Jet Somers.

Dennis: He stands at six-feet, six inches tall and weighs two- hundred and fifty-five pounds. He's one half of the former Co-Operative Championship team "Pain and Paradox" along with Creative Director Donovan Hastings and is a three-time World Heavyweight Champion and the ONLY person in the history of UGWC to hold THREE championships at once after he held the Co-Operative, Chaos and World Heavyweight Championship at the SAME TIME. He hails from Poughkeepsie, New York and is UGWC's master of wielding a steel chair...ladies and gentlemen I give you..."THE PARADOX" ZAAAAAANE SCOOOOOOOOOT!!!!

Vinegar: I'd comment on how beaten up Zane looks from last night, but looking beaten up is fairly normal for him these days.

Lieberjosch: True. He never really gets a chance to recover. You have to wonder if this constant damage is taking any years off of his career.

Vinegar: He'd tell you "no", but who really knows?

Lieberjosch: Indeed.

Vinegar: Let's get back to the ring...

Dennis: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, introducing the SECOND participant in this match...

The house lights go down to only the emergency lights, giving the arena a surreal, sepia look. As the opening licks of "Gone Sovereign" by Stone Sour begin, the remaining lights pulsate in rhythm with each chord. Corey Taylor begins to wail:

No one's laughing now, no one's laughing now

I'm sullen and sated and you can't put a price on me

I won't share this disarray, I won't pull these hands away

I need to be chosen and my God don't pray for me

As Jet Somers parts the curtain and steps out on the ramp. His hood is pulled up, and he surveys the crowd's mixed reaction from under it as the song continues.

So scatter all my ashes when I'm dead

And shatter every legend in my head

If only the committed will survive

Is anybody here still left alive?

There's a tense pause in the music, and Jet lowers his head, crossing his hands in front of him.

This is mine!

As soon as the singer screams those words, Jet lights out at a run down the ramp, explosions on either side shooting toward the rafters in his wake while the song kicks in properly. He slides into the ring under the bottom rope and leaps to his feet.

Come no further, you won't go far

I'm running around in circles once again

If you can't forgive me, I won't take it very hard

But I won't make it easy in the end

Jet takes a turn on each corner post, commanding the attention of the crowd as he holds his arms above his head in a V shape, palms out.

So scatter all my ashes when I'm dead

And shatter every legend in my head

If only the contented will survive

Is anybody here still left alive?

After he's finished at the fourth turnbuckle, Jet returns to the center of the ring, allowing the song to close on on Taylor proclaiming over and over:

This is mine

Mine

Mine

Mine

Dennis: He stand at five-feet, ten-inches tall and weighs in at one-hundred and eighty-five pounds and is arguably the GREATEST Co-Operative Champion in UGWC history with a record SEVEN reigns to his credit. He is one-half of the CURRENT, REIGNING and DEFENDING UGWC Co-Operative Champions in "The Court". He's also a FOUR-TIME UGWC World Heavyweight Champion and a certified LEGEND in the wrestling industry. Ladies and gentlemen he is "THE LETHAL WEAPON" JET SOOOOOOOMERRRRRRRS!!!!!

Vinegar: Did you gents notice how Jet raised his half of the Co-Operative Championship as soon as he and Zane made eye contact?

Lieberjosch: Mind games.

Vinegar: Yes, but Zane didn’t react to it when Jet did it.

Lieberjosch: He’s hiding his emotions. He doesn’t want to give Jet the satisfaction. Inside, he’s seething about being cheated out of the Co-Operative Championships for a fourth time.

Vinegar: I disagree, Hans. I don’t think that’s it at all. I think Zane would have been happy to be a four-time Co-Operative Champion, but I don’t think he feels any disappointment at it not happening.

Lieberjosch: We shall agree to disagree. I think Zane is fuming over it.

Vinegar: I think your preconceived notions about Zane are getting in the way of your objectivity.

Lieberjosch: Unlikely, but possible.

Covert Jay: Jet didn’t just do it at the top of the ramp. He held it up when he was face to face with Zane.

Vinegar: He did and at the risk of pointing out the obvious…

Lieberjosch: Then why do it?

Vinegar: Because I can and sometimes it’s a part of my job.

Covert Jay: He’s got you there, Doc.

Lieberjosch: Silence, idiot. You were saying, Nicholas?

Vinegar: I was about to comment on how easy it is to overlook the size difference between Jet and Zane. Jet isn’t a small man, but he looks tiny compared to Zane.

Lieberjosch: A lot of people look small next to Zane. No one has ever understated his size or power. He’s a mountain of a person. Keep in mind that Jet has made a history of beating people who are so much larger than he is, including Zane.

Vinegar: Absolutely. Jet has beaten Zane before and he could do it tonight.

Lieberjosch: He probably will here.

Vinegar: Maybe. We’ll see. Don’t discount that Zane beat Jet to get to the World Championship match at Infinity and has done well against him this year. To me, this match really is a toss up.

Lieberjosch: We’ll see. I still think that Jet will beat him.

Vinegar: This match is about more than a win for them.

Lieberjosch: Indeed. Jet and Zane have what could best be described as a complicated relationship.

Vinegar: To put it politely.

Covert Jay: You and I have a complicated relationship, Doc. These two hate each other.

Vinegar: No, I don’t think they do.

Lieberjosch: I agree, Nicholas. I don’t think it’s hate. I think it’s a very begrudging respect. They’ve both said that they respect the other’s ability in the ring. It’s just a personality conflict.

Vinegar: I think “personality conflict” is close. Jet says that he wants to see Zane succeed on his own and feels that he had his recent opportunities handed to him by our current Creative Director. Zane thinks that Jet is a hypocrite.

Lieberjosch: Jet has a point. What made him deserving of those opportunities?

Vinegar: I expect that Donovan would argue history. He’d probably also argue their team’s performance at “Outlast”. I think that given what he’d accomplished by holding the Chaos and Co-Operative Championships at once, that Hastings was justified in those decisions. Does anyone think that Jet would care if he’d beaten Zane to face Lucy Wylde for the World Championship?

Lieberjosch: Probably not, but he’d been World Champion a mere few months before. Jet had a legitimate claim to that match. One could argue that Zane didn’t.

Vinegar: Sure, but that’s a very selective telling of history.

Lieberjosch: I think it’s fair to say that tonight won’t solve anything.

Vinegar: I agree. No matter what, these two will clash again.

Covert Jay: I like the Clash. They’re a good band.

Lieberjosch: Welcome back. Did you have a nice nap?

Covert Jay: I wasn’t napping! I was thinking about snacks.

Lieberjosch: You were mercifully silent, so I shouldn’t complain. Go back to daydreaming about food. The broadcast is better without you.

Vinegar: Sam just called for the bell and we’re away!

Lieberjosch: I expect this to get nasty in a hurry. Everyone knows that Zane has the bad knee and I’m sure that he’s expecting Jet to target it.

Vinegar: I’m sure that he is. Regardless of what I think about Jet’s attitude and allies, he’s one of the most cerebral members of the roster. He has a gameplan and we both know that Zane’s bad knee is a part of it.

Lieberjosch: Indubitably.

Covert Jay: In what?

Vinegar: Jet darts out of his corner and immediately shoots for Zane’s bad knee. Zane anticipates it and sidesteps him. Jet turns and gets back to his feet with a smile.

Lieberjosch: More mind games. If he can make Zane overly conscious about protecting his knee, it’ll throw the rest of his strategy off. If he has one, that is.

Vinegar: I think you know better. I remember you praising how calculating he was during multiple feuds, Eden and Lucy come to mind.

Lieberjosch: Yes, but he hasn’t shown that killer instinct since he went all “nice guy” on us.

Vinegar: I think he’s still figuring himself out a bit.

Lieberjosch: He’s not as much fun now.

Vinegar: I rather like this version of him. I don’t have to worry about him hitting me with a chair just because he’s bored.

Covert Jay: I like not having to be afraid of that.

Lieberjosch: He should hit you with a chair just because you’re you.

Vinegar: Back in the ring, the two circle for a few moments. Jet appears to be telling Zane what he plans on doing to his knee.

Lieberjosch: He’s a great tactician.

Vinegar: Zane doesn’t seem to be impressed, or for that matter particularly bothered by it.

Lieberjosch: Give it time. He’ll get frustrated eventually. Jet will drag it out of him.

Vinegar: Jet shoots towards Zane’s knee again but changes direction at the last second and quickly rolls him up. Zane kicks out before Sam can even get down for the “one” count.

Lieberjosch: Jet’s smart. He’s keeping Zane off balance right now with his greater speed and agility.

Vinegar: Jet grabs Zane’s right leg as soon as he kicks out and uses his momentum to turn him over before he drops him into an ankle lock. Zane grits his teeth and reaches for the bottom rope.

Lieberjosch: Good strategy by Jet so far.

Vinegar: It’s working for the moment. Sam asks Zane if he wants to give up and Zane emphatically refuses. Jet wrenches back on Zane’s ankle and Zane grits his teeth again as he thrusts his right hand towards the bottom rope.

Lieberjosch: Jet has set it up so that Zane is just far enough away that he can almost get his fingers on the bottom rope, but can’t quite reach them.

Covert Jay: I’m sure he can feel the air between his finger and the rope.

Lieberjosch: I’m sure that’s a sensation that you’re familiar with.

Covert Jay: Well there was that one time in Vegas...

Lieberjosch: No. Just no. Whatever you are about to say, don’t. I don’t want any images like that in my head.

Covert Jay: It’s amazing what can be done with yogurt when you’re motivated.

Lieberjosch: Please stop before I throw up on the table.

Vinegar: Zane almost reaches the rope when Jet suddenly releases the hold and gets to his feet. He backs up a few steps and gestures that he’ll allow Zane to get up. Zane looks at him suspiciously but slowly gets to his feet and flexes the stiffness out of his ankle and lower leg. Jet smiles mockingly at him again.

Lieberjosch: Jet keeps reminding Zane of why he’s so dangerous.

Vinegar: It’s not like Zane doesn’t know that.

Lieberjosch: Sure, but the more Jet makes him think about it, the more off balance he’ll be. He’ll never get to go to whatever his gamplan is.

Vinegar: The two circle in the ring again. Jet leaps towards Zane as if he’s going for a collar and elbow tie up, but ducks under Zane’s arm and wraps him up from behind. He pushes up and drops Zane onto his chest, then shoots around and wraps him up in a quick headlock. He holds it for a few moments before he transitions to Zane’s back and laps him hard in the back of the head.

Lieberjosch: Jet keeps the pressure on and continues to try and get into Zane’s head.

Vinegar: I can’t tell if it’s having and effect.

Lieberjosch: We’ll find out soon.

Vinegar: Jet lays a couple of more slaps into the back of Zane’s head. Zane gets to his hands and knees as Jet continues to torment him.

Lieberjosch: Nice transition from a back mount to a rear mounted choke hold by Jet.

Vinegar: The problem for Jet is that while he has Zane wrapped up in the choke, Zane has gotten to his feet.

Lieberjosch: That may be temporary. His face is starting to turn a bit red.

Vinegar: Jet cinches in the hold a bit and Zane drops to one knee. Sam asks him if he wants to give up and he manages to barely shake his head no.

Lieberjosch: If he doesn’t do something soon, he won’t be awake enough to shake his head.

Vinegar: Zane looks at the nearest corner and gets back to his feet. He stumbles backwards and drives Jet back first into the corner.

Lieberjosch: It didn’t appear to help.

Vinegar: No. Jet just cinches the hold in as Zane grabs for his hands.

Covert Jay: I don’t get how he’s still conscious.

Lieberjosch: He’s tough. He’s always been tough. He just hasn’t always been smart.

Vinegar: Don’t you think that claim is a little tired?

Lieberjosch: No. He’s improved a lot, but he hasn’t always been smart.

Vinegar: No, he hasn’t always been strategic. That’s obviously changed a lot.

Lieberjosch: It’s not showing right now.

Covert Jay: Right now he looks like Jet has his number.

Lieberjosch: I’m going to do something rare and agree with you.

Vinegar: I think you’re overestimating what’s happened so far.

Lieberjosch: Who has who in a choke hold right now?

Vinegar: Jet has Zane in one.

Lieberjosch: Exactly.

Covert Jay: If he keeps ramming Jet into the corner, he’ll probably break the hold.

Lieberjosh: How insightful. Even if he does, how much has that hold weakened Zane?

Vinegar: Zane slams Jet backwards into the corner again, but Jet keeps the hold on.

Lieberjosch: Don’t tell me that you’re not impressed with his tenacity.

Vinegar: I’ve always been impressed with it. Jet’s one of the most determined athletes I’ve ever seen.

Covert Jay: Zane appears to be fading.

Lieberjosch: Finally. How long has he been trapped in that hold?

Vinegar: A while. I think the only things that have kept him from passing out are the momentary breaks he’s gotten from slamming Jet back first into the turnbuckles.

Covert Jay: Zane staggers out of the corner…

Lieberjosch: He’d better think of something.

Vinegar: Backback stunner!

Lieberjosch: I don’t think I’ve ever seen Zane do that before.

Vinegar: It’s an effective counter move.

Lieberjosch: At least it was that time.

Vinegar: Both men are down now and Zane had better do something during this break.

Lieberjosch: Jet was smart. He rolled out of the ring.

Covert Jay: He can’t win out here.

Lieberjosch: He can’t lose out here either.

Covert Jay: He could get counted out.

Lieberjosch: He could, but Sam is checking on Zane right now and that’s giving Jet time to recover.

Vinegar: Jet’s already stirring at ringside while Zane is still down in the ring. That choke hold really wore him down.

Lieberjosch: Jet has this match firmly in hand. If he lands one or two big moves, this is done.

Vinegar: Jet gets to his feet and slides stomach first back into the ring before he gets to his feet. He’s smiling at the prone Zane like a wolf who’s looking at his next meal.

Lieberjosch: Zane hasn’t moved since Jet rolled out of the ring.

Vinegar: Jet slowly advances on the prone Zane and pokes at him with his foot, but Zane doesn’t appear to react.

Lieberjosch: Jet looks very suspicious right now.

Vinegar: He’s been in the ring with Zane enough to know that beating him won’t be this quick.

Lieberjosch: Jet walks around in front of Zane for a few seconds. He clearly thinks that Zane is playing possum right now.

Vinegar: Jet runs backwards and bounces off of the ropes. He charges at Zane and leaps up like he’s going to punt him in the head…

Lieberjosch: If this connects, Jet will have one of the most lopsided victories of his career.

Covert Jay: Holy crap!

Vinegar: Zane just sent Jet tumbling from the ring!

Lieberjosch: That was pure luck.

Vinegar: Jet doesn’t look that lucky to me. I’m not sure how Zane timed that, but he clearly caught Jet completely off guard! He managed to catch Jet in mid air, get under him and throw him up into the air before landing an absolutely vicious looking “Murderous Intent” on him!

Lieberjosch: That was purely defensive move as he collapsed to the mat as soon as he landed it!

Vinegar: Yeah, maybe it was, but it worked! He can sit back against the corner and shake off the effects of being in that choke hold while Jet lays out on the floor in a heap.

Lieberjosch: Sam just slid out of the ring to check on him. That’ll give him more time to recover.

Vinegar: Meanwhile Zane blinks a few times and rubs his hand across the ugly looking red spot on his neck. He takes a couple of deep breaths and uses the top ropes to slowly pull himself to his feet.

Lieberjosch: He still looks a bit dazed from being in that choke for so long.

Covert Jay: If he’s smart, he’ll go out there and put Jet away.

Lieberjosch: If he’s smart, he’ll stay in the ring and let Sam start counting Jet out.

Vinegar: Zane doesn’t want to win that way. It wouldn’t show anything, let alone prove anything.

Lieberjosch: All he’s shown so far is that Jet is constantly one step ahead of him.

Vinegar: The present moment excluded.

Lieberjosch: That was luck. That could have just as easily led to Zane eating a dropkick.

Vinegar: Sure, but it didn’t.

Lieberjosch: No, but that was dumb luck more than skill.

Vinegar: I think you’re underestimating him.

Lieberjosch: We shall see.

Vinegar: Sam slides back into the ring as Jet begins to stir on the outside. Had Sam been counting this entire time, Jet would have been counted out five or six times.

Lieberjosch: But he didn’t. He did the professional thing and checked on Jet to see if he was injured.

Vinegar: I’m not contesting Sam’s professionalism, I’m just pointing out that just as Jet could have ended the match early on, that had Sam begun the ten- count, that Zane would have won it multiple times already.

Lieberjosch: But he didn’t, did he?

Vinegar: No. Not yet. He still could.

Lieberjosch: Keep Zane away from the ropes, Sam! Jet has to be allowed to make it back into the ring!

Vinegar: No he doesn’t! Zane could grab him and throw him back into the ring right now and Sam might admonish him for it if he does anything!

Lieberjosch: If he does that, Sam should disqualify him.

Vinegar: Oh, blow it out of your ass, Hans.

Lieberjosch: Language, Nicholas.

Vinegar: Jet gets back up onto the apron and slowly begins to step through the ropes. He points at Sam to keep Zane back as Zane begins to advance on him. Sam does so as Zane protests it.

Lieberjosch: He shouldn’t argue with Sam. Sam is in charge.

Vinegar: You wouldn’t be saying that if the situation was reversed.

Lieberjosch: I might.

Covert Jay: Jet is back in the ring now.

Vinegar: He charges at Zane while Zane is engaged with Sam, who continues to push him back away from Jet. I don’t think he realizes that Jet is back in yet!

Lieberjosch: Zane had better do something!

Vinegar: Zane shoves Sam out of harm’s way at the last second, which sends him sprawling towards the corner!

Lieberjosch: It gave Jet just the opening he needs!

Vinegar: Damn it! Jet used Sam as a distraction and just drop kicked Zane squarely in his bad knee! What a cheap shot!

Lieberjosch: It worked like a charm. Jet is in control, while Zane is down on the mat clutching at his bad knee!

Vinegar: Sam gets to his feet and turns to say something to Zane about shoving him when he notices that Zane is down and grabbing at his back knee while Jet launches a vicious assault on it with a series of kicks and stomps!

Lieberjosch: Once again, Jet shows that he’s one step ahead!

Vinegar: It took hiding behind the referee and a cheap shot to do it!

Lieberjosch: Whatever works, Nicholas. Whatever works.

Covert Jay: Jet looks like he’s trying to re-injure Zane’s knee!

Vinegar: He might be! It wouldn’t surprise me!

Lieberjosch: It would be to his advantage and the advantage of “The Court” for him to do so.

Vinegar: Sam walks over and tells Jet to back of, but he just pushes Sam away and continues his assault on Zane’s knee.

Covert Jay: Jet had better be careful or he’ll get himself disqualified.

Lieberjosch: This is a strategy.

Vinegar: You refer to everything he does as “strategy” even if it’s just Jet being emotional.

Lieberjosch: How do you know he’s being emotional? Jet will take advantage of the situation until it doesn’t suit him to do it anymore.

Vinegar: We’ll see about that.

Covert Jay: Whatever the case is, it’s allowing Jet to keep the pressure on.

Lierbeejosch: Indeed. He has Zane trapped in the corner and is busy working over that weakened knee.

Vinegar: A knee that he currently has bent under the bottom rope that he continues to leap off of the bottom rope and stomp on. Sam keeps tells him to back off as Zane’s foot is under the rope but Jet continues to smile at him as he keeps this assault up.

Lieberjosch: Sam could start the count. Zane’s foot is under the rope, which is technically a rope break.

Vinegar: Sam just told Jet to back off

Lieberjosch: And jet just shoved him away and used the rope to help him stomp on Zane’s bad knee again. If Zane’s face is any indication, he’s in considerable a lot of pain right now.

Vinegar: It’s his achilles heel. I don’t fault Jet for working it over, I fault him for ignoring Sam when he tells Jet to back off.

Lieberjosch: Every time he shoves Sam away, he gives himself a chance to keep the attack on.

Vinegar: It looks like Sam has finally gotten tired of it as he’s begun the standing ten count.

Lieberjosch: It doesn’t matter. He’s already given Jet more than enough time to work Zane’s knee over.

Vinegar: Sam is up to five and Jet is completely ignoring him.

Lieberjosch: He’s not ignoring him, he’s just going to run this out for as long as he can.

Vinegar: He’d better do it soon, because Sam is up to seven.

Lieberjosch: Jet leaps up and comes down on Zane’s knee again. Zane looks like he’s in agonizing pain right now. Jet could end his career tonight just by working that knee over so badly that it reinjures his ACL and or MCL again.

Vinegar: I think that this Jet would be happy to hang his hat on that.

Lieberjosch: Maybe.

Covert Jay: Jet finally broke his assault off.

Lieberjosch: Sam was at nine. Jet is too smart to do all of this work only to lose it for no reason.

Vinegar: Sam backs Jet off to center ring and walks over to help untangle Zane’s knee from the rope.

Lieberjosch: If I was Sam, I’d pay closer attention to Jet.

Covert Jay: Why is he running the ropes right now?

Lieberjosch: I don’t think that’s what he’s doing, Jay.

Vinegar: I don’t either.

CRACK!!!!

Fans: Ohhhhh!!!!

Vinegar: That bastard!

Lieberjosch: Language, Nicholas.

Covert Jay: I think Zane might be out!

Vinegar: Once again Jet uses Sam as cover so that he can take a cheap shot on Zane!

Lieberjosch: That was some knee shot to Zane’s head, especially since his head had nowhere to go. If Zane isn’t out, I don’t know how.

Vinegar: Zane slumps down into the corner as Jet leaps up over him onto the same corner and throws his hands up in celebration.

Covert Jay: I don’t think I’ve ever heard Jet get booed like this.

Lieberjosch: Except when he joined “The Court”, no. I don’t think that’s particularly fair though. Jet took advantage of the situation that Sam provided him with. What was he supposed to do?

Vinegar: Do what Sam said and back off?

Lieberjosch: Nonsense. Instead he just showed his legendary killer instinct and took Zane out.

Vinegar: Jet drags Zane out to center ring, although not easily and drops on top of him for the pin. Sam drops to the mat…

Lieberjosch: This has to be over.

Vinegar: One!

Lieberjosch: Two!

Cover Jay: Thr...NO!

Vinegar: Zane kicked out! It’s not over yet!

Lieberjosch: No one ever said that Zane isn’t tough, but here’s a perfect example of Zane not being smart. His bad knee has taken hellacious abuse, he’s clearly in agonizing pain but he refuses to stay down. That stubborness is going to cost him his career one of these days.

Vinegar: If Jet was put through this and refused to stay down, you’d be praising his tenacity.

Lieberjosch: Sure, but that’s different.

Vinegar: I don’t see how.

Lieberjosch: Look at Jet’s overall lineage here. He’s an icon in UGWC. He can’t just give up, it would be an insult to everything he’s done.

Vinegar: Zane’s lineage is nothing to sneeze at.

Lieberjosch: No, it isn’t. Conversely, Jet doesn’t have a near career ending knee injury on his record either. Zane has to keep his future in mind.

Vinegar: Both of these men are fiercely competitive, yet you only give credit to Jet for that because Zane had a knee injury.

Lieberjosch: As a former Creative Director, a part of me still worries about the talent and their health.

Covert Jay: Speaking of Zane’s “health”, Jet is back on the attack.

Lieberjosch: Indeed he is. He has Zane’s thigh pinned down under his calf while he wrenches his knee.

Vinegar: I can’t imagine the pain that the angle that Jet’s yanking up on his knee is causing him.

Lieberjosch: I’ll be amazed if Zane will be able to walk after this.

Covert Jay: He’d better do something to get out of this or he won’t be.

Vinegar: I agree with that. Every second he spends in this hold might take more time off of his career.

Lieberjosch: Jet knows that.

Vinegar: Zane balls his fists and swings.

Lieberjosch: Punching Jet in the arm seems like an odd strategy.

Vinegar: If he can hit Jet enough to make him release the hold, I think that’d be enough in the short term.

Covert Jay: The punches don’t seem to be hurting Jet, but they do seem to be annoying him.

Vinegar: That might be good enough. If he can annoy Jet enough, then Jet might break the hold.

Covert Jay: Zane just punched him two more times and Jet appears to be getting pretty irritated by it.

Lieberjosch: Of course he is. It still hurts.

Vinegar: Jet can’t allow his annoyance to throw him off of his game plan.

Lieberjosch: Jet just wrenched on the knee again and sent Zane back to the canvas.

Vinegar: Zane pops back up and lands two more rapid punches into Jet’s arm.

Lieberjosch: Jet’s temper is starting to boil. He can’t let that happen.

Vinegar: Zane knows him well enough to know that. I bet that’s one of the reasons he keeps doing it.

Lieberjosch: Maybe. I think the greater reason is that he wants Jet to let go.

Vinegar: Zane connects with two more punches and Jet retaliates with one of his own as he wraps Zane’s leg inside his arm.

Lieberjosch: This isn’t what Jet wants to do. Getting in a slugging match with Zane plays to Zane’s strengths, not Jet’s.

Covert Jay: Even if he can’t walk?

Lieberjosch: It only takes one well-placed punch to turn Jet’s lights out.

Vinegar: That’s a valid point. Zane lands another punch and Jet retaliates with one of his own.

Lieberjosch: Jet’s letting his control slip. His temper is getting the better of him.

Vinegar: Zane punches Jet again and Jet retaliates…

Covert Jay: Roll up by Zane!

Vinegar: One!

Lieberjosch: Two! Jet kicks out and leaps to his feet!

Covert Jay: He looks pissed!

Vinegar: Jet jumps on top of Zane and begins to hammer on him with “Ground and Pound”!

Lieberjosch: This is a mistake! He needs to keep his focus on Zane’s knee! He can’t get into a punching match with him!

Vinegar: That’s what he appears to be doing!

Lieberjosch: This is a bad idea! Zane can take abuse better than anyone in this company.

Vinegar: Jet continues to rain blows down onto Zane.

Covert Jay: Is he smiling?

Lieberjosch: Jet?

Covert Jay: Zane.

Lieberjosch: I don’t know…

Vinegar: He appears to be.

Lieberjosch: That’s bad for Jet. Extremely bad.

Covert Jay: Why? He’ll be the one with a bloody face and a broken nose afterward!

Lieberjosch: Do you remember what happened when Eden broke Zane’s nose by superkicking him seven times in it in a row?

Covert Jay: Yes. He went full on psycho. I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything quite like it.

Lieberjosch: Well you might be seeing it again.

Covert Jay: I’d rather not. That was terrifying.

Vinegar: Zane’s smile widens with each strike that Jet lands. He doesn’t care that his face is turning into a bloody mess.

Lieberjosch: I think he’s counting on it.

Vinegar: He is, which is scary.

Covert Jay: How soon until you think Jet notices.

Lieberjosch: It depends on how caught up in dishing out punishment he is.

Covert Jay: He looks pretty “caught up”.

Vinegar: It’s playing right into Zane’s hands. With every punch and elbow that Jet lands, Zane’s smile grows wider and he looks more and more awake.

Lieberjosch: I’m not sure what bothers me more about that, that Zane is willing to take an ass kicking just to “wake up”, or that at point that Zane appears to be enjoying it so much.

Vinegar: Just imagine what his Chaos Title reign could have been had he done this then.

Lieberjosch: Or his World Championship run.

Vinegar: Or that. I haven’t seen Zane like this in years.

Lieberjosch: I don’t think that anyone wants to see him like this.

Covert Jay: I think that Jet just realized what’s happening.

Lieberjosch: I think that feeling Zane’s left hand on his throat helped that considerably.

Vinegar: I don’t doubt it.

Covert Jay: Jesus... Zane’s face looks like someone has been smashing a bleeding side of beef with a hammer.

Lieberjosch: That’s a colorful image.

Vinegar: That smile on Zane’s face is truly horrifying.

Lieberjosch: Especially because of all of the blood.

Vinegar: Zane stands up with his hand wrapped around Jet’s throat...

Covert Jay: Chokeslam!

Lieberjosch: He looks awake now!

Vinegar: Zane reaches down and clamps down on Jet’s throat. He pulls him up and throws him into the corner. Zane charges in and lands a massive clothesline that almost sends Jet over the top and out of the ring. Jet grabs the top rope to steady himself as Zane grabs it, leans back and slams another vicious clothesline into Jet.

Lieberjosch: This is exactly the Zane that Jet didn’t want to see.

Vinegar: Zane lands another clothesline, then pulls Jet in…

Covert Jay: Air Opie!

Lieberjosch: Yeah, but not for any reason he likes.

Vinegar: That suplex not only threw Jet across the ring, but almost out of it!

Covert Jay: Thank god for that turnbuckle!

Lieberjosch: I’m not sure that Jet would phrase it that way.

Vinegar: Zane charges across the ring and drives a shoulder into Jet’s stomach, then steps out and waits for him to stumble out of the corner.

Lieberjosch: Another suplex and Jet crashes to the mat in the far corner. Zane turns, breaks into a run…

Vinegar: Running knee to Jet’s face!

Lieberjosch: Zane pulls Jet out of the corner by his feet and begins to swing him in circles in the middle of the ring.

Covert Jay: I hope Jet doesn’t puke.

Lieberjosch: If he does, I hope it hits you.

Vinegar: Zane spins him around a few times and releases him. Jet flies across the ring and crashes to the mat.

Lieberjosch: This is definitely not the Zane that Jet wanted to see.

Covert Jay: I don’t think this is a Zane that Zane’s mother would want to see.

Vinegar: Zane pulls Jet up and whips him off of the ropes. Jet bounces off and comes back towards him…

Lieberjosch: Huge boot that spins Jet around and drops him onto his face.

Vinegar: Zane mounts Jet from behind and begins to lay in a series of stiff forearm strikes across Jet’s face.

Lieberjosch: If Zane lands too many of those, Jet’s going to look like Zane in a few minutes.

Vinegar: I’m pretty sure that’s what Zane has in mind.

Covert Jay: I wonder if that’s what a tetherball feels like.

Vinegar: I have no idea.

Lieberjosch: That’s a chilling thought.

Vinegar: I agree.

Lieberjosch: Zane is in the zone now and that’s terrible for Jet.

Vinegar: Zane lands another forearm shot and then grabs Jet by both arms. He pulls back on his arms, lifts up his foot…

Covert Jay: “Salt the Earth”!!

Lieberjosch: I don’t care how many times I see that move, it always makes my blood go cold.

Vinegar: Zane pulls Jet over and drops into a pin. Sam drops down for the count…

Covert Jay: One!

Lieberjosch: Two!

Vinegar: Jet kicks out at two and a half!

Covert Jay: Zane just smiled.

Lieberjosch: We saw.

Vinegar: Zane pulls Jet up and...

Lieberjosch: Look at Jet’s face!

Covert Jay: They match!

Lieberjosch: Did you just say “they match”?

Covert Jay: Yes.

Lieberjosch: They’re both bleeding profusely from their faces. They’re not wearing the same polo shirt.

Covert Jay: They still match.

Vinegar: Stop digging.

Covert Jay: I’m not digging.

Vinegar: Stop, Jay. Just stop.

Lieberjosch: Thank you, Nicholas.

Vinegar: Zane pulls Jet up and hoists him up for a powerbomb....

Lieberjosch: This is quite a contrast in style.

Vinegar: At the moment it’s the contrast between surgery with a scalpel and surgery with a chainsaw. I’ll let you decide who is who.

Lieberjosch: The chainsaw just powerbombed the scalpel into the corner.

Vinegar: Touche.

Lieberjosch: Jet stumbles out of the corner. Are you going to praise his toughness?

Vinegar: Of course. I’ve frequently praised Jet’s tenacity and toughness, including earlier in this match.

Lieberjosch: I just wanted to make sure that you were playing fair.

Vinegar: I appreciate your concern.

Lieberjosch: You’re welcome. We’re a team.

Covert Jay: What about me?

Lieberjosch: You’re an idiot in a mask who I only tolerate the presence of because I have to.

Covert Jay: Oh. I guess that’s fair.

Vinegar: It boggles the mind. Anyway, Jet stumbles out of the corner...Zane bounces off of the opposite ropes…

Lieberjosch: Spinebreaker!

Vinegar: Zane is pulling out the heavy hits.

Lieberjosch: He knows it’s going to take a lot to put Jet away.

Vinegar: Yes. It’s a sign of respect.

Lieberjosch: There’s a lot of respect between them, even if they don’t particularly like each other.

Vinegar: Zane pulls Jet from the mat, wraps up his arm… “The Purge”!!

Lieberjosch: Zane drops to the mat for the pin.

Covert Jay: This has to be over.

Vinegar: Sam drops to the mat. There’s the one count!

Lieberjosch: Two!!

Fans: Thre...OHHHHHH!!!!

Lieberjosch: Jet kicks out at two and nine-tenths! What a show of tenacity!

Covert Jay: The scary thing is that Zane doesn’t look frustrated by it. He looks like he’s happy that Jet kicked out. He’s enjoying this.

Lieberjosch: There’s something very wrong with him.

Vinegar: Zane backs up a few steps and grabs the top rope as his focus remained fixed on Jet, who’s slowly climbing to his feet.

Lieberjosch: Jet slowly gets to his feet...he stumbles around and Zane explodes from the corner…

Vinegar: This is going to be ugly if Zane connects...

Lieberjosch: Jet side steps it!

Covert Jay: How the hell did he do that?

Vinegar: Zane stops and wheels around. Jet leaps up…

Lieberjosch: Dropkick!

Vinegar: Zane slams down on his face. Jet jumps behind him grabs him by his ankle, lifts his leg up and slams him knee first into the mat. Zane lets out a howl of pain and Jet lifts it up and does it again.

Lieberjosch: Jet wisely goes back to his strategy. It won’t be long before Zane can’t stand up and Jet will pick up the win that I predicted.

Vinegar: I can’t argue with his strategy. I’m just concerned that he’ll blow out Zane’s knee again and end his career.

Lieberjosch: Jet can’t worry about that and he shouldn’t. Just think of the addition that retiring the only triple-champion in history would be in Jet’s already amazing resume.

Vinegar: Nevermind that Jet hates it when anyone brings that up and insists that Zane didn’t deserve it.

Lieberjosch: He’s right. Zane still did it though and no one can take it away from him.

Vinegar: That’s true, if unexpectedly even of you.

Lieberjosch: I’m a professional.

Covert Jay: Move!

Vinegar: What?

Lieberjosch: What are you on about?

Covert Jay: MOVE!!

Lieberjosch: Move? Why?

Vinegar: Oh crap!

Lieberjosch: Aaaaahhh!

.....

.....

Vinegar: We’re back and Hans is…

Covert Jay: Underneath Zane.

Vinegar: I was going to say “indisposed”.

Covert Jay: That works too.

Vinegar: After inflicting yet more abuse on Zane, Jet has thrown him from the ring.

Covert Jay: That wasn’t a problem by itself.

Vinegar: The problem came when Jet executed a springboard dropkick that sent Zane into and over our table. Unfortunately for Hans, he didn’t listen to us and ended up being what slowed Zane’s momentum down.

Covert Jay: Jet is coming back around. Time to go!

Vinegar: Jet has marched around our table and has thankfully, for Hans anyway, pulled Zane off of him.

Covert Jay: I don’t see Zane being thankful for it.

Vinegar: I don’t either. Jet pulls Zane up and drags him around to the front of the table by his hair. He hoists Zane onto his shoulders...

Covert Jay: He has deceptive strength.

Vinegar: He does. It’s so easy to overlook how strong he is because he’s reputed for his agility and speed.

Lieberjosch: I’m back. That was unpleasant.

Vinegar: Jet has Zane up over his shoulder. It looks like he’s going to powerslam him through our table, so your return to it might by short.

Lieberjosch: I just got my chair back to where I like it.

Covert Jay: You might not be here for long.

Vinegar: Wait...Jet turns and looks towards one of our guest tables…

Lieberjosch: It it just me, or does it seem like this happens at every Pay-Per-View. Apparently our writers like tropes…

Vinegar: Writers? What are you talking about, Hans?

Lieberjosch: I don’t know. I think I got rattled by having Zane crash into me.

Vinegar: I’m sure that he appreciates you for cushioning his fall.

Lieberjosch: I don’t want to talk about it.

Vinegar: Jet breaks into a run and he clearly intends to powerslam Zane through the Maldivian announce table!

Lieberjoch: Poor Maldivian announce table, we hardly knew ye!

Vinegar: Thank you, Shakespeare of Commentary!

Lieberjosch: Don’t mention it.

Vinegar: Jet gets near the table but Zane pushes himself off at the last moment!

Lieberjosch: His knee buckled when he hit the ground!

Vinegar: Jet stops and wheels around. He sees Zane shake the pain out of his leg and smiles. He charges at Zane, he leaps…

Covert Jay: Ouch...

Vinegar: I think it would have been better if the table had broken.

Lieberjosch: I bet that Jet agrees with you.

Vinegar: I’m sure he does.

Lieberjosch: That was a painful sounding “thud”.

Vinegar: I’m sure that Jet would agree with you.

Lieberjosch: At least we won’t have to pay to replace their table…

Vinegar: I’m sure Jet finds that very reassuring as he’s squirming in pain on top of the table.

Lieberjosch: Thankfully for him, Zane’s knee gave out again and he can’t capitalize on it.

Vinegar: I’m sure that means a lot to Jet right now and I doubt that he thought “Gee, I hope Zane’s knee gives out AFTER he drops me back first into a table”.

Lieberjosch: Sarcasm doesn’t become you, Nicholas.

Vinegar: Sometimes it’s just called for.

Lieberjosch: It’s lowbrow humor.

Vinegar: Only when someone does it to you. At any rate, Jet has rolled off of the table and is on his knees in front of Zane, who has yet to get back to his feet.

Lieberjosch: With the way his knee bent under him, I’d be surprised if he can stand up right now.

Vinegar: That may be. Both men look utterly exhausted now.

Lieberjosch: The next big move might earn the win. Right now it looks like it’s Jet’s match to win.

Vinegar: Not until he can get back to his feet, and based on how his back bent when he hit the edge of the table, I don’t think we’ll him trying to lift Zane if he can avoid it.

Lieberjosch: Maybe not, but Jet doesn’t need to lift Zane to put him away. Zane needs his leg to use his entire arsenal.

Vinegar: That’s a valid point.

Lieberjosch: I know.

Covert Jay: Jet’s up and he looks really happy that Zane’s still down.

Vinegar: Sam stopped his count to check on both Jet and Zane after he got slammed off of the table, but he’s resumed it. I doubt that Jet wants to win by count-out, so he needs to get both himself and Zane back into the ring.

Lieberjosch: Sam is up to five.

Vinegar: Jet gets back to his feet, walks over to Zane and kicks him hard in the side of the knee. Zane lets out a snarl of pain and attempts to kick Jet away. Jet looks up at Sam and notices that he’s at eight. He dashes to the ring, slides under the rope and then rolls back out.

Covert Jay: Sam doesn’t look too happy about it.

Lieberjosch: There’s literally nothing he can do about it.

Vinegar: Jet walks over to Zane, who has pulling himself to his feet by using the table. Jet lashes out and kicks him in the back of the knee again, which earns another baleful howl from Zane and sends him back to one knee. Jet grabs him by the back of his head, spins him around and throws him into the apron.

Lieberjosch: If Zane’s ribs didn’t already hurt from the beating that he’s taken, they probably do now.

Covert Jay: He did bounce pretty hard off of the apron. I doubt that I’d have gotten up from that, even if I am a world-class ninja!

Lieberjosch: You’re a world class something, alright.

Vinegar: Jet grabs a handful of Zane’s hair and lays in two vicious cross face forearms from behind, then rolls him into the ring.

Covert Jay: Jet’s about to fly!

Lieberjosch: Jet’s about to put Zane away!

Covert Jay: Air Ninja Opie!!!

Vingar: Four-fifty splash!

Lieberjosch: He got all of that one!

Vinegar: Jet immediately transitions into the “Jethammer”!

Lieberjosch: Zane HAS to give up!

Covert Jay: He doesn’t look like he’s going to!

Vinegar: If the grit teeth and look of intensity in his eyes are any indication, he’d clearly rather pass out first!

Lieberjosch: I’m certain that Jet would be happy to humor him!

Vinegar: Jet yanks back on the hold and the veins in Zane’s neck and head are bulging out, but he refuses to give up!

Covert Jay: He’s starting to look like an apple!

Lieberjosch: He’s past that and into purple!

Vinegar: Jet just rolled him into a pinning predicament!

Lieberjosch: One! He’s about to win!

Covert Jay: Two!

Vinegar: Thre...NO!!! Zane grabs the bottom rope!!

Lieberjosch: Great ring awareness by Zane and it might have just saved the match for him!!

Vinegar: Sam orders Jet to release the pin, but he refuses to! Sam starts the count!

Lieberjosch: This is a smart move by Jet, it keeps Zane wrapped up and trapped for a few more seconds of pain!

Vinegar: Sam is up to “three” and Jet yells at him that he has until “five”.

Lieberjosch: He’s right!

Vinegar: Sam reaches “four” and Jet finally releases the pin!

Lieberjosch: Jet looks annoyed at Sam, but he immediately looks to the far corner. Even now his killer instinct hasn’t abandoned him!

Vinegar: Jet pulls Zane up and throws him across the ring. Zane stumbles on his bad knee on the way across, but slams back first into the corner and drops to a knee. Jet explodes out of the corner and flies across the ring like a missile...he leaps up…he springs off of the middle rope...

Covert Jay: He’s going for the “Jetstreamer”!

Lieberjosch: Good night, Lucy!

Fans: OHHHHHH!!!

Covert Jay: How in the fuck did Zane do that??

Lieberjosch: I don’t know, but he almost knocked Jet from the ring again! It was pure desperation!

Vinegar: As Jet was about to land that “Jetstreamer”, Zane fell to the right side into his bad knee, then put all of his energy into his left and throw a jaw shattering lariat at Jet!

Covert Jay: Did you see Jet’s eyes widen right before it landed?

Lieberjosch: In effect, Jet just threw himself into that lariat. I’ve never seen a person take advantage of a weakness like that!

Vinegar: Zane pulls himself to his feet with the ropes and momentarily drops back down.

Lieberjosch: He’s clearly running on fumes right now. So is Jet.

Vinegar: Zane pulls himself back to his feet and looks down at Jet, who appears to be out cold.

Lieberjosch: He doesn’t appear to be taking the risk.

Vinegar: Zane slowly pulls Jet towards the corner, then bends over and wraps an arm around his neck and his waist.

Lieberjosch: He wouldn’t...

Covert Jay: HOLY FUCK!!

Vinegar: “Death In Vegas” onto the turnbuckle!!

Lieberjosch: Jesus Christ on a crutch!!!

Vinegar: Zane rolls over onto his stomach and pushes himself up to his knees with his hands, then grabs the ropes and uses them to pull himself back up.

Lieberjosch: Just cover him!

Vinegar: Zane just shook his head.

Covert Jay: He almost looks sad!

Lieberjosch: Did he just mouth “Sorry, Jet”?

Vinegar: I’m not sure. He pulls Jet’s arms in a criss cross across his neck and pulls his arms over, then turns and uses Jet’s body and the turnbuckle to push himself up…

Covert Jay: He stumbled!

Lieberjosch: This is overkill!

Vinegar: Zane takes another step… “YEAR ZERO”!!! “YEAR ZERO!!” That’s the first time we’ve seen him use that straightjacket variation of the “Widow’s Peak” in a long time!!

Covert Jay: Zane rolls Jet over and drops on top of him.

Lieberjosch: ONE!!!

Vinegar: TWO!!!

Fans: THRE...NOOOO!!!!!!

Covert Jay: How in the fuck did Jet kick out of that??!!!

Lieberjosch: I have no idea! It wasn’t a very forceful one, but he did it!

Covert Jay: Zane looks like he might lose his cool!

Lieberjosch: I don’t like the look that just crossed Zane’s face…

Vinegar: Zane stands up and stumbles back into the rope. He shakes his knee out and bends over to yank the brace tighter on his bad knee.

Lieberjosch: If he uses it as a weapon, he’ll be disqualified!

Vinegar: He bends over and pulls Jet up, he hammerlocks his arm….

Lieberjosch: “THE PURGE”!!!!!

Vinegar: Zane collapses on top of Zane and Sam drops to the mat for the count!

Fans: ONE!!!

Lieberjosch: TWO!!!

Vinegar: THREE!!! ZANE DID IT!!! HE’S WON THIS ABSOLUTE WAR WITH JET!!!

Mitchell Dennis: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, YOUR WINNER…. “THE PARADOX” ZAAAAAAANE SCOOOOOOOOTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!

Zane - 7.16

Jet - 7.11

Lieberjosch: WAIT!!!

Vinegar: What?

Lieberjosch: Jet got his foot on the bottom rope!

Vinegar: It is on the bottom rope. Let’s take a look at it!

Lieberjosch: There’s Sam’s hand dropping down for the “two”.

Covert Jay: There’s the “three”!

Vinegar: No! Jet put his left foot on the bottom rope a second after Sam counted the “three”!

Lieberjosch: Jet shows his incredible ring generalship once again, but it's going to frustrate him to no end that it was a literal second too soon!

Vinegar: Yes, but Jet has nothing to be ashamed of! He fought a gutsy, focused and at times dominant match that showed just how dangerous and methodical he is!

Lieberjosch: I agree!

Vinegar: While we get the medical staff down here to check on Jet and Zane, let's head back out to the park!

[DrunkenBuzzsaw]

The camera switches back to Aaron Reese, who is standing in the middle of the central concession area. The area is packed to bursting fans who are in various states of reverie. Reese looks at the camera and smiles.

Reese: So I'm out here in the central concession area because I was told that Grande was last seen out here. With so many fans here who are in various states of celebration and in many cases inebriation, it's going to be difficult to find him.

Reese stops as someone lets out a loud yell and goes riding by on a motorized unicycle. A look of genuine shock affixes itself on his face as he recognizes the person who's on the bike.

Reese: Grande? Is that you? What the hell are you doing? And how the hell are you staying on that thing?

Grande: WHOOOOO!!!!! PAHHHHTAYYYYY!!!!

Reese: Good god. I'm so fired right now...

Reese stops talking as he hears silence through his headset. A momentary frown forms on his face.

Reese: I'll be back, gents. I have to go and try to recover the drunken slob on the unicycle before he gets himself or someone else killed. Back to you.

[DrunkenBuzzsaw]

The view switches back to the announcers table, where both Nick and Hans sit, utterly dumbfounded by what they'd just seen. Nick is the first to recover and he stammers out a response.

Vinegar: Uh...thanks, Aaron. Ladies and gentlemen, Nicholas Vinegar here along with my usual partners, here to bring you a one of two contests that were unexpectedly announced yesterday, after the Cooperative TItle match ended in controversial fashion.

Covert Jay: Vain wanted a one-on-one match with Eden, and he got it.

Eden Morgan standing on stage, a confident smirk on her lips. She surveys the crowd, a few cheers mingling with the mostly negative reactions that greet her. Eden makes an obvious show of yawning and then smiling in a deceptively lazy way as she slinks down to the ramp. As she goes along, she turns to the crowd on each side, pointing to her heart with one hand and pointing out to all of them mockingly with the other. She finally ignores the screaming and turns her attention to the ring as she makes her way in, taking her time as she climbs each step and slips between the ropes.

Lieberjosch: I know Eden has expressed being ready to take on Vain at this point, but this match is apparently going to be an Inferno Match, and after what Vain did to Eden back at No Holds Barred, he doesn’t deserve the opportunity to try to repeat his actions again.

Fireworks go off around the festival as a spotlight shines on 'Vain' Alan Wallace - a buxom blonde standing to his left, and a georgous brunette standing to his right. The two women drop to their knees and turn towards him, running their hands down his chest and abs, before giving each other a kiss. Vain tosses the hood of his robe back, revealing that beautiful money maker of his, and then throws his arms up in the air as he begins walking through the grass towards the ring, and his two harlots make their way into the mob. Upon entering the ring, he spins around in a circle with his arms raised high, basking in the reaction of the people. He then prepares for the task in front of him.

Covert Jay: Vain has been waiting for this moment for months, this is going to be epic!

Lord-Director of Creativity, Donovan Hastings, rises on a platform several feet away from the ring, along with a large object that is covered by a sheet. He holds a bullhorn in his hand which he speaks through.

Hastings: Now, I know everyone was looking forward to this being an Inferno Match here today, I did promise that when I announced this match.

Lieberjosch: Eden wasn’t.

Hastings: But I got to thinking, that just isn’t WrestleStock, is it? This is the festival that once hosted Wrestlepalooza, the festival that once saw Travis Roberts climb up the side of an aircraft carrier to defend the World Heavyweight Championship, and we’re going to have a match at this festival between the likes of Alan Wallace and-

The megaphone screeches, and Donovan stares at it for a moment before tapping it and speaking again.

Hastings: Alan Wallace and Eden Morgan, and it’s going to happen here at WRESTLESTOCK, and we’re just going to have an Inferno Match? That isn’t going to get it done. It’s just not WrestleStock enough. So no, we’re not going to have an Inferno Match here today.

Eden: THANK GOD.

Hastings: Instead, we’ve got this.

Donovan yanks the sheet off, revealing a large wheel with what appears to be different types of matches on it.

Hastings: We’re all about fan interaction here at WrestleStock, so what we’re going to do is I’m going to bring a lucky fan up here and let them spin the wheel, and that’s what kind of match you’re going to have today.

Vinegar: A lot of different stipulations on that wheel.

Lieberjosch: Concrete Crypt, Kennel From Hell is on there.

Covert Jay: Valhalla Burial, I have it on good authority that’s one of Eden’s favorites.

Hastings: Owen, where are you Owen? Owen, let’s get somebody up here.

Eden: What the hell is a Disappointment Match?

Hastings: I’m pretty sure you’re familiar with that one, you have it a lot.

Eden: I hate you.

Vinegar: Head Referee Owen Peterson is escorting a young man to the stairs leading up to the platform.

Hastings: Here we go, our lucky participant. What’s your name, son?

Donovan allows him to speak through the bullhorn.

Fan: Chadwick.

Hastings: That sounds delightfully unfortunate. Now, let’s give it a spin and see what happens.

Eden: Wait a second, Inferno Match is on there!

Hastings: You get what you get, and you don’t get upset. Go ahead, um, Chadwick.

Vinegar: And there it goes, the wheel spinning around and around, we thank Chadwick for helping us out today, and let’s see what match we’re going to see between these two future Hall of Famers.

Lieberjosch: Vain has been amazingly patient through this entire process.

Hastings: ...really?

Donovan stares at the fan.

Hastings: Submission Match. Well done. You can go now.

Vinegar: It looks like we are going to be getting Alan Wallace versus Eden Morgan in a Submission Match, and here we go!

DING DING!!!

Vinegar: Wallace rushes Morgan right away, fighting her into the corner and pounding away on her as Morgan tries to cover up, she pivots her body and kicks back with her leg, catches Wallace below the belt.

Lieberjosch: Perfectly legal, this is a submission match, there are no disqualifications, I applaud her tenacity right there.

Vinegar: Discus clothesline by Morgan, she attempts to lock in an armbar, Wallace pulling away before she can lock it in.

Covert Jay: He gets to his feet, looks to still be in some pain, Eden charges but gets backdropped over the ropes, only to ninja-land right on her feet!

Lieberjosch: Vain attempting to readjust himself, Eden reaches under the bottom rope and yanks him to the outside.

Vinegar: Morgan goes to whip him into the steps, but he plants his feet, tucks his shoulder, and thrusts her into the side of the ring.

Covert Jay: Eden sent back into the ring, Vain slides in and charges, but she floats around him into the Ouroboros!

Vinegar: Wallace caught in the triangle, he flails with his feet and gets them into the ropes, Eden Morgan forced to break the hold!

Vinegar: Hastings using an airhorn to interrupt the action in the ring, what is happening now?

Hastings: As fun as this has been, we’re going to give this another shot. I’ve got Luninda, it was Luninda, right? I’ve got Luninda with me, she’s going to give the wheel a do-over.

Luninda spins the wheel.

Vinegar: Apparently this match is no longer a Submission Match, the stipulation being changed as the wheel spins.

Covert Jay: What’s it going to be?!?!

Hastings: Okay, we’ve got a Hamsterball Match!

Eden: What the hell is that?

Covert Jay: Oh, this is going to be good.

Vinegar: A circular cage is being brought into the ring, it looks just large enough for both to fit into.

Covert Jay: They’ll have room to move around, but don’t be surprised when the cage itself rolls around inside the ring.

Eden: I’m not getting in there!

Lieberjosch: Eden doesn’t have much of a choice, as Vain grabs her from behind and throws her into the hamsterball, entering as well as the door is closed behind him.

Vinegar: Morgan gets to her feet and tries to back away, and the ball begins to roll.

Covert Jay: Vain slips as the ball rolls and falls, but uses his momentum to grab Eden and monkey flip her into the ball!

Lieberjosch: Vain gets to his feet and grabs Eden by her head, dragging it along the cage, but she knocks him back with a mule kick.

Vinegar: Morgan tries to climb the cage, but all it does is make it roll, moving Morgan to the bottom with the momentum lifting Wallace up until he falls on top of her.

Hastings: We’ve got another contestant!

Vinegar: The wheel spinning again, meaning the stipulation is about to change!

Lieberjosch: Sam Green is rolling the hamsterball with the door open, dumping Vain and Eden both out of it, they’re both still down after that awkward collison a moment ago, and the hamsterball being removed from the ring.

Hastings: TABLE MATCH!

Vinegar: This is now a Table Match, the first person to put the opponent through a table will be the winner.

Covert Jay: Assuming Hastings doesn’t let somebody spin the wheel again first.

Vinegar: Morgan trying to get back to her feet, but Wallace is already up, and he grabs her and plants her with the Cherry Popper.

Lieberjosch: Vain to the outside, he goes underneath the ring and pulls out a table. He pushes it into the ring, pausing a moment to take a look at the wheel.

Covert Jay: And as he turns back, Eden baseball slides the table back through the ropes into his face.

Vinegar: The table stays in the ring, Morgan stands it up and leans it against a turnbuckle, before heading to the outside to get Wallace.

Lieberjosch: Vain is busted open from taking the table to the face, Hastings notices and takes a sharpie to the section of the wheel marked First Blood.

Vinegar: What is he writing in its place?

Covert Jay: Five Minutes in Heaven Match.

Vinegar: I’m pretty sure I hope that never comes up, as Morgan has Wallace back in the ring now, she goes to whip him into the table, but Wallace reverses it and pulls her back, only to take a forearm right to the face!

Lieberjosch: And now she launches him again towards the table!

Vinegar: Wallace went through the table, but Sam Green is waving it off, the wheel has been spun!

Eden: COME ON!

Hastings: Bra and Panties Match!

Eden: WHAT?

Hastings: I wouldn’t waste time with silly questions.

Eden: He isn’t wearing any!

Hastings: How can you be sure?

Vinegar: Morgan grumbling with frustration, but she leans down anyway, looks like she is trying to determine a tactical way to disrobe Wallace, but he springs to life and pulls her into a triangle!

Lieberjosch: Vain wrenching the hold for several seconds, he releases, stands and drops an elbow to the back of her head!

Covert Jay: And now it is Vain about to strip Eden!

Hastings: Hold on, nobody needs to see that. Let’s have a spin.

Lieberjosch: The wheel spinning again, and thank you for small favors, this poor young lady was about to be horribly disrespected.

Hastings: Laptop on a Pole!

Vinegar: Laptop on a Pole?

Covert Jay: Owen Peterson is setting a laptop on top of a turnbuckle, that’s a legal weapon if you can grab it!

Vinegar: How is it on a pole?

Covert Jay: Looks like Owen taped a straw to it. That’s a small pole.

Lieberjosch: Vain picks up the laptop off the turnbuckle, walks over to Eden as she is trying to get up and waffles her upside the head with it.

Hastings: That was fantastic. Let’s see what’s up next.

Covert Jay: Maybe it could be a Lapdance Match.

Vinegar: That is ridiculous.

Lieberjosch: It’s on the wheel.

Covert Jay: The Excellence of Sexecution would dominate, you know he would.

Hastings: Suspension Match!

Eden has made her way in front of the podium with the wheel and Hastings on it, and is now bleeding from a cut on the side of her head after getting hit with the laptop, as meanwhile Vain is rooting under the ring for something.

Eden: THIS IS INSANE!

Hastings: Please phrase your question in the form of silence.

Eden: I have done NOTHING to deserve to be suspended!

Hastings: To be...what? No, we’re going to set up some highwires you can climb on, suspend something above the ring, and you have to go up and get it.

Eden: WHAT!?!

Hastings: I don’t know. I guess we can use the laptop if somebody could sponge your blood off it.

Lieberjosch: Eden is glaring at Hastings in disbelief, can’t say I blame her.

Covert Jay: This is quite the staring contest they’re having now.

Hastings: Yeah, you know what, that sounds like way too much work. We’ll just spin again.

Lieberjosch: Eden should protest this entire mess. This is madness!

Covert Jay: THIS IS WRESTLESTOCK!!!

Hastings: Ugh...Inferno Match. I’m spinning again.

Lieberjosch: VAIN HAS A FLAMETHROWER!!!

Peterson: LOOK OUT!

Vinegar: Wallace unleashes the flame thrower, Morgan dives out of the way and JESUS CHRIST ON A POGO STICK, Owen Peterson dives and tackles Hastings off the stage as the wheel erupts in flames!

Lieberjosch: Eden tackles Vain as the flamethrower falls to the ground, they’re both on the grass at ringside as Eden scrambles to her feet and hits the Fall of Eden!

Vinegar: And now Morgan attempts to use the flamethrower herself, but it appears to be damaged from being dropped, thank goodness for that.

Lieberjosch: Well how does the match end now? The wheel has been destroyed, this is going to end as an Inferno Match!

Covert Jay: Edie seems to have an idea, as she stares for a moment at the burning wheel, and now she is dragging Vain up the steps of the podium towards it!

Vinegar: Eden Morgan is going to use the burning wheel to set fire to Alan Wallace!

Lieberjosch: Good! He deserves it!

Covert Jay: VAIN GRABS EDEN AND SHOVES HER INTO THE WHEEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Vinegar: My God, Eden tumbles off the podium, she’s caught fire!

Lieberjosch: Somebody help her!

Vinegar: Hastings thankfully is spraying her with a fire extinguisher, hopefully before any real damage set in, emergency personnel is there, let’s hope Eden Morgan is okay, quick thinking by the Creative Director there.

Covert Jay: He was probably aiming for the wheel and missed.

Lieberjosch: This was a disaster.

Vinegar: It was a shocking turn of events, to be certain, Alan Wallace victorious over Eden Morgan, and this day isn’t over yet!

Alan Wallace - 7.73

Eden Morgan - 7.65

[DrunkenBuzzsaw]

Please Kids, Don't try this at Home!

Vinegar: Well, that was... interesting!

Lieberjosch: That's one word for it.

Reese: Gentlemen.

Vinegar: Hey Aaron, what are you doing here?

Reese: Well, Jim got so drunk that he cycled into the DMW area and he got a little...handy...with a couple of their ladies. Including Jez.

Vinegar: Jez? Oh no. Is he in traction now?

Reese: No, oddly enough he managed to drunkenly zip and zag his way out of the crowd on the motorized unicycle and the last I heard, he had a group of very unhappy DMW members pursuing him out of town on Route 90.

Lieberjosch: That's the last that we'll ever see of him.

Reese: He's no loss.

Lieberjosch: Speaking of no loss, where is Jay?

Reese: As I understand it, Creative Director Hastings caught him punching a tree and when he tried to explain himself, Hastings had him taken to our medical personnel out of concern that he was suffering from heat stroke.

Lieberjosch: It's not heat stroke. It's just stupidity.

Reese: I'll take your word for it. Anyway, as a result of both...situations... Creative Director Hastings asked me to take Jay's place at the table.

Lieberjosch: Thank god!

Vinegar: Welcome to the table, Aaron. We're looking forward to working with you.

Reese: Thanks, gents. I'm looking forward to this as well.

Vinegar: Then let's get to the ring, because it's time for our MAIN EVENT!!!

[DrunkenBuzzsaw]

Mitchell Dennis: Ladies and gentlemen it is time for the MAIN EVENT. It is for the UNIFIED GLOBAL WRESTLING COALITION CROSS HEMISPHERE CHAMPIONSHIP and is for ONE FALL. Introducing first!

Sympathy for the Devil by Gregorian hits and the lights drop. A single spotlight drops on the rampway – Gabriel Baal makes his slow entrance, a hood pulled over his head. The hood is attached to a full length jacket that is zipped from the neck to the waist. (With title - Gabriel pulls the zip of his jacket down to reveal his Championship around his waist before) He presses his hands together at the finger tips – he strides to the ring, only parting his fingers to gain entry to the ring.

He raises his pressed fingers in front of his covered head, before quickly pushing the hood back to reveal his grinning face. His arms extend wide before he starts a circle of the ring. Stopping in the centre, and spinning 360 degrees.

Dennis: Introducing the CHALLENGER! He stands at six-feet, three-inches tall and weighs in at two-hundred and thirty-eight pounds. He hails from THE BIG APPLE, NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK. He represents "The Court" and is a former two-time Cross Hemisphere Champion. Ladies and gentlemen he is "THE SERPENT" GABRIEL BAAAAAALLLLLL!!!!

Vinegar: The always dangerous Baal is going to present a hell of a challenge for our current Cross-Hemisphere Champion.

Reese: Right. This is an emotionally charged match and Ms Lockheart is going to have to find that balance between letting her emotions fuel her and having them consume her, because if she allows them to do her decision making for her, Baal will become a three-time Cross-Hemisphere Champion.

Lieberjosch: Wow. Insightful and intelligent commentary in Jay's seat. I feel spoiled.

Reese: Thank you.

Lieberjosch: Don't let it go to your head.

Reese: Don't worry, I won't.

Vinegar: You raise an excellent point, Aaron. But by the same token, Baal seems to have made this a lot more personal than just defeating a worthy opponent and claiming his third reign as Cross-Hemisphere Champion. He's said that he wants to destroy Magdalena Lockheart like he almost destroyed her lover, the current World Heavyweight Champion, Lucy Wylde.

Lieberjosch: I'm surprised that the Doctor has let this get so personal. It strikes me as being a very out of character decision for him.

Reese: I'd tend to agree, Hans. But his feud with Lucy for the World Championship got unconscionably personal, to the point where he drugged her and turned her over to her father, who was a violent sociopath who wanted to torment and then kill her. You don't do that to someone just to win a Championship.

Lieberjosch: Normal people wouldn't. I don't think that Baal ever fell under that category.

Vinegar: That's a fair point, Hans. He's always been very...unique.

Reese: I've seen men do horrible things in my time in this business, but it never got that personal over a Championship. This is about power and control. Baal wants to destroy Lockheart and she's happy to reciprocate his intentions.

Vinegar: Speaking of that, we're ready for the Cross-Hemisphere Champion to enter!

Dennis: Ladies and gentlemen, here is the second participant in tonight's contest!

Gabriel Baal appears to be ready as he waits patently in the ring for the champion to make her entrance. But after a few moments of intense staring up to the entrance and to the adjacent stage, there’s nothing to be seen or heard. The crowd here at Day 3 of WrestleStock grow restless, but instead of getting frustrated Baal begins to smile and chuckle. At this point even the referee is wondering when Magdalena Lockheart is going to make her entrance. Just as the referee is about to call the match on forfeit, the UGWC World Heavyweight Champion Lucy Wylde steps out from behind the curtain to a loud reaction. Her presence leaves everyone, including Baal confused.

Vinegar: What in the hell? What is Lucy Wylde doing out here?

Baal charges the near ropes and points up in the direction of Lucy, shouting something about getting ‘Maggie’s scared ass out here’, yet Lucy doesn’t respond. She walks over toward the stage.

Vinegar: I don’t know what’s going on, but it seems to me like Lucy is headed over to the staging area..

Reese: It has already been clearly documented and doesn’t bare repeating, you’d have to had been living under a rock for the past few months not to know about the hatred that these two competitors share for each other.

Lieberjosch: That’s true, but Lucy had her fight with Baal at the Massive Melee. This is Baal’s and Maggie Lockheart’s fight now. That is, if Lockheart hasn’t chickened out.

Reese: There’s no way.

Lieberjosch: Of course there is. This would be the second time.

Vinegar: Oh come on.

Lieberjosch: Don’t you remember that one time she was too afraid to show up for that match with Travis Pierce?

Vinegar: That’s not how it happened.

Lieberjosch: And that was just Pierce. Could you imagine what the nerves of having to face Doctor Gabriel Baal would do?

Reese: Shut up!

Vinegar: Could it be possible that Gabriel Baal did something to Magdalena Lockheart backstage?

Lieberjosch: None of this explains what in the blue hell the World Champion is doing out here on Day 3! Did her dear Daddy beat the math out of her or something?

Vinegar: Enough!

Lucy steps up onto the stage and stops just behind the microphone. Inside the ring, Gabriel Baal is still shouting but stops when Lucy taps her finger on the live mic.

Reese: I think we’re about to find out the answer to your question. Dickhat

Lieberjosch: What the hell did you just call me?

Reese: I just called you a fucking dickhat. Dickhat.

Vinegar: Guys, be quiet. I think Lucy’s about to speak.

Lucy wraps her fingers around the microphone and smiles out to the crowd.

Lucy Wylde: Now New Orleans, I’ve got a cover for you guys.

She points to Baal.

Lucy Wylde: Especially for you, Mr. Baal.. It goes a little something like... this.

The lights on the stage brighten. The crowd cheers when they see a band behind the World Champion and again when the guitarist starts to dial in his pedals.

The cameras focus and pan around Lucy as the guitarist works his pedals to create a psychedelic sound. The riff continues for quite a few bars until the guitar finishes with a power chord that brings everything, and everyone, completely silent.

Lucy Wylde: I’m gonna fight ‘em all... a seven nation army couldn’t hold me back... They’re gonna rip it off… takin’ their time right behind my back…

The drums start to pick up... and so does the crowd... with a chorus of 'OooohOhOhOhOhOhhhhOhhhhh'!

Lucy Wylde: And I’m talkin’ to myself at night because I can’t forget… back and forth through my mind behind a cigarette…

The entire band comes in...

Lucy Wylde: And the message comin’ from my eyes says ‘leave me alone!’

On cue, a single, bright spotlight shines through the night and illuminates the entire entrance area with an emerald glow. In the center of the spotlight stands a shadowed female figure, what can be made out is a long black leather trenchcoat and a matching cowboy hat, and the reflection of the gold from the Cross-Hemisphere Championship around her waist. She looks up towards the ring and the glow from her eyes matches that of the light.

Covert Jay: It’s Magdalena Lockheart! Magdalena Lockheart is here!!

Vinegar: So much for your theory, Hans. It seems the Cross-Hemisphere Champion IS here!

Lieberjosch: She always has to make an entrance though… She ain’t that special.

Don’t want to hear about it!
Cause every single one’s got a story to tell...
Everyone knows about it...
From the Queen of England to the Hounds of Hell

Lockheart looks over to the stage and tips the brim of her hat in Lucy’s direction. Lucy smiles back at her as the champion makes her way down the entry way and towards the ring. Inside the ring, the referee works to hold back Gabriel Baal, who seems at best unimpressed.

And if I catch ya comin’ back my way
I’m gonna serve it to you
That ain’t what you want to hear
...but that’s what I’ll do

Lockheart points up at Baal with her fingers shaped like a gun and her pulling the trigger. The Referee struggles to hold the challenger back at this point. Lockheart climbs up onto the ring apron and faces the roaring crowd.

And the feeling coming from my bones
Says fiiiind a hooome!

Once again, on cue, Lockheart rips the sides of her trenchcoat apart, revealing the Cross-Hemisphere Championship for a much better view of it wrapped around her slender waistline. Confetti cannons shoot off from the corners of the ring and cover the audience in sparking green glitter as the guitarist treats them with a killer solo. Lockheart steps through the ropes and into the ring.

Covert Jay: Well if you ask me, this is extra special!

Vinegar: Have you ever heard of our World Champion ever singing the entrance music of our Cross-Hemisphere Champion?

Covert Jay: No, I’ve never seen anything like this before!

Lieberjosch: Well that’s what happens when you’re high-key scissoring the champion…

Vinegar: Hans!

Lieberjosch: What, you don’t know what high-key means?

I’m going to Wichita
Far from this opera forever more
Im’ gonna work the straw
Make the sweat drip out of every pour…

Lockheart stands in the middle of the ring with her head bowed just slightly to hide her face beneath the brim of the hat. Baal is busy jaw-jacking and mocking Lockheart with feigned clapping. In the meantime, Lockheart doesn’t move a muscle.

And I’m bleedin’
And I’m bleedin’
And I’m bleedin’
Right before the lord
The words are gonna bleed from me
And I will sing no more.

She slowly looks up at the challenger, her eyes piercing his like daggers.

And the stains comin’ from my blood
Tell me go back home...

She points her finger at him once more, this time pretending to pull the trigger as the band goes into the grand finale. The lights start to come back on and the crowd surrounding the stage and the ring give Lucy Wylde and the accompanying band a standing ovation. Lockheart removes the cowboy hat and her championship belt, handing both over to the referee. Baal steps forward and the two get face to face, neither one backing down.

Vinegar: Owen is going to have his hands full with this. I expect this to devolve into a violent brawl in no time.

Reese: I think that's highly likely.

Lieberjosch: Yes, this is going to get ugly in a hurry.

Vinegar: What? No line about how this is all Lockheart's fault?

Lieberjosch: In the short term, it is. Even I would be loathe to blame and mock her for taking what Baal did so personally. It was hideous.

Vinegar: Owen backs them up into their corners and checks with both Magdalena and Baal to see if they're ready. They both tell him that they are and he calls for the bell.

Lieberjosch: Let the bloodbath begin!

Vinegar: Magdalena charges and leaps onto Baal! Her aggression seemed to catch him off guard and she knocks him to the mat with a press and begins to hammer away on him with a rapid succession of blistering punches.

Lieberjosch: This is a level of ferocity that I've never seen from her!

Reese: She just transitioned from the punches to driving the point of her elbow into his forehead.

Vinegar: Not only that, but she's putting extra force between each one. In addition to the possibility of splitting Baal open, she could also completely disorient him.

Lieberjosch: It won't tickle, that's for certain.

Reese: Very good, Hans. Thanks for pointing that out for everyone.

Lieberjosch: Are you mocking me?

Reese: Maybe.

Lieberjosch: I think you're being sarcastic.

Reese: Maybe.

Lieberjosch: Give me a hand here, Nick.

Reese: (Laughing) I approve.

Lieberjosch: That's not what I meant.

Vinegar: Inside the ring, Magdalena continues to drive the point of her elbow into Baal's forehead.

Reese: There's nothing Owen can do about it. They're not closed fists. She could pound on Baal until he's unconscious and all Owen could do is count the pin.

Lieberjosch: Baal just launched Magdalena off of him, so I think it's safe to say that he has his wits back.

Vinegar: One could assume that.

Reese: Baal stands up from the mat, checks his forehead and winces the second that he touches it.

Lieberjosch: There's already a nice bruise forming there.

Vinegar: Baal looks at Magdalena and smiles in apparent appreciation of her aggression. She smiles back and charges at him again. He sets himself, apparently expecting another leap from Magdalena, but instead she slides through his legs and pops up behind him.

Reese: Nice leaping knee strike to his lower back. It would be wise of her to focus on a particular part of Baal and not just attack him wildly. She needs to negate his size and power advantage.

Lieberjosch: I'm not certain that she's that focused right now.

Vinegar: Magdalena leaps and drives another knee into his back, except this time she grabs him by his hair and yanks him down to the mat on her way down.

Reese: His head not only hit the mat hard, but also at a bad angle. It's possible that the impact may have a longer term effect on his neck.

Lieberjosch: I'm not used to having two competent broadcast partners. This feels weird. Am I on "Candid Camera"?

Reese: Candid what? No! Why would you think that?

Lieberjosch: Am I being...how did the kids say it... "Punk'd"?

Reese: No.

Lieberjosch: Are you sure that Hastings isn't using you to play a prank on me? He can be quite the troublemaker.

Vinegar: Relax, Hans. No one is pranking, "punking" or otherwise messing with you right now.

Lieberjosch: That's relieving.

Reese: What isn't relieving is how Baal feels at the moment.

Vinegar: No doubt, as Magdalena has flipped him over so that he's face down on the mat. After that, she grabbed him by the hair on the back of his head and is using that hair to grip his head as she repeatedly pounds his face into the mat.

Reese: She wants to be careful here. Owen has just told her to stop and she ignored him.

Lieberjosch: He's started the standing five count.

Reese: There's "one" and as Owen says the number, Magdalena slams Baal's face into the mat, all the while staring at Owen with this really ferocious smile on her face.

Vinegar: There's "two" and just as before, the second that he said the number, Magdalena drove Baal's face into the mat.

Lieberjosch: "Three", with the same result. She has to get a grip here or she's going to get herself disqualified.

Reese: "Four" and once again Magdalena slams his face into the mat.

Vinegar: Except this time she let go right after she did it.

Reese: Magdalena looks down at Baal with a vicious smile as he lays immobile in the center of the ring. I think she fully intends on putting him in the hospital tonight.

Vinegar: That wouldn't surprise me in the slightest.

Lieberjosch: Again, she has to get a grip on her emotions here.

Reese: Magdalena runs backwards off of the ropes, then charges forward and leaps. It looks like she's going for "Lacrimosa"!

Lieberjosch: And it looks like she just connected on it. She could pin Baal now and take home the fastest and most lopsided defense of her tenure as Cross- Hemisphere Champion.

Reese: She has zero desire to do that. Winning is secondary to obliterating the man who's spent months tormenting her and her girlfriend, so much so that he almost successfully drove a wedge between them and destroyed their relationship.

Lieberjosch: I get that, but business is business this is business.

Reese: This is revenge. When one comes down to it, revenge can be a business, but it's never just business in a situation like this one.

Vinegar: It must be mentioned that Baal has somehow rolled out of the ring in the last few seconds.

Lieberjosch: Excellent ring awareness.

Reese: I'd chalk that more up to survival instinct.

Lieberjosch: Whatever one attributes it to, it's working to his advantage.

Vinegar: I'm not so sure about that.

Lieberjosch: What? Why not?

Vinegar: Look at Magdalena.

Lieberjosch: Oh...

Vinegar: Yeah.

Lieberjosch: It's the charge of the one-person psycho brigade!

Vinegar: Magdalena goes up and over the top rope!

Reese: Baal stands up and turns around just in time to see Magdalena crash into him!

Vinegar: The flying forearm connects and sends Baal crashing into the railing!

Reese: He slides back to the floor after the impact and Magdalena leaps up and begins to mercilessly stomp him while Owen yells at her to bring it back into the ring.

Lieberjosch: She's completely out of it! Owen should disqualify her!

Reese: He can, if she continues to ignore him.

Vinegar: Owen begins the ten count and just like she did when he did the "five" count, every time he says a number, she stomps on Baal.

Lieberjosch: Owen needs to get her under control!

Reese: He's up to "six" and she hasn't stopped.

Lieberjosch: She should care.

Vinegar: Owen just reached "eight" and Maggie drove another vicious stomp into his chest.

Reese: "Nine"...and she stomps him and then runs back and slides into the ring, which breaks Owen's count.

Vinegar: She immediately ascends the turnbuckle that offers the shortest route to (the) Baal.

Lieberjosch: That was painfully bad, Nick.

Reese: It wasn't terrible. I've heard better. I've heard worse.

Lieberjosch: Thank you, Aaron.

Reese: Don't let it go to your head.

Lieberjosch: Touche.

Vinegar: Magdalena waits for Baal to get up...

Reese: Baal turns around and she leaps...

Lieberjosch: Crash and burn! Baal moved!

Vinegar: Yes. Baal sidestepped at the last second and Magdalena went crashing into the railing stomach first.

Lieberjosch: Now it's her turn to be on the receiving end.

Vinegar: You almost sound happy about it.

Lieberjosch: Not at all. It's just that this has been a very lopsided match so far. Her aggressiveness had really thrown Baal off balance.

Reese: It took her crashing into a railing to possibly stop it. He'd better act on this before she can recover.

Vinegar: Baal stumbles away from the railing and tries to shake the cobwebs out. He momentarily winces and presses his knuckles into his lower back.

Lieberjosch: He definitely wants to get that pressure out before it has a chance to knot up on him.

Reese: True, but by the same token he doesn't want to give her time to recover. As aggressive as she's been, he has to take advantage of this opening.

Lieberjosch: Undoubtedly. the only thing that remains to be seen is whether his body allows him to.

Vinegar: Baal seems to be satisfied with how his back feels and he walks over to Magdalena and clubs her across the back with his forearm as she's bent over the railing.

Lieberjosch: He needs to keep that pressure on.

Reese: I'm sure that he knows that.

Vinegar: Baal grabs Magdalena's arms from behind and loops them under the top bar of the railing, then pulls them back through.

Lieberjosch: Not only is he doing that, but he has a foot on the barrier so that he can add extra pressure when he pulls back. That's a great strategy.

Reese: It could dislocate her shoulders or tear her shoulder muscles.

Lieberjosch: Maybe that's what he wants to do.

Vinegar: I wouldn't put it past him.

Reese: Owen just yelled to him to break his attack and get it back in the ring.

Lieberjosch: Baal is listening to him just as much as Magdalena did.

Vinegar: This is an interesting Championship match in that both participants are more interested in hurting each other than they necessarily are in winning. You can tell that Baal is reveling in the screams of agony from Magdalena as he yanks back on her arms.

Reese: Well Owen had been doing the standing ten count, but he stopped at seven and slid out of the ring. Now he's trying to get Baal to let go of Magdalena.

Vinegar: Baal is ignoring Owen, who now has his hands on Baal's arm and is trying to pull him back.

Reese: The problem with that approach is that while as well intentioned as it is, it could make things worse for Magdalena.

Lieberjosch: I wouldn't be at all surprised if that's what he wants. Baal is very calculating.

Vinegar: That's true, but he has to be careful here. Owen is starting to lose patience with him and I think I just heard the word disqualify come from his mouth.

Reese: That got Baal's attention. He just let Magdalena go and wheeled on Owen...although if I was him, I'd be careful to make sure that Owen doesn't feel threatened.

Vinegar: Exactly. It doesn't matter what Owen DQ's him for. The end result is the same.

Lieberjosch: Right. I would think that if he can put Magdalena on the shelf AND claim the Cross-Hemisphere Championship that he'd consider that his ultimate victory.

Reese: Quite possibly.

Vinegar: While Baal has been arguing with Owen, Magdalena has freed herself from the railing. Unfortunately for her, her shoulders appear to be a mess as they're just hanging limply at her sides right now.

Reese: That's not encouraging.

Vinegar: Owen just ordered Baal back into the ring with what might be the most assertive point into a ring that I've ever seen him do.

Reese: He just gestured to the back and then walked up to Magdalena. It looks to me like he thinks she might have a serious injury.

Lieberjosch: What gave it away?

Reese: Did you say something? All I heard was static in my headset.

Lieberjosch: Ha ha. Very funny.

Reese: Thanks.

Vinegar: Owen is talking to Magdalena, who is telling him that she can continue.

Reese: The problem she has is that she can't move her arms at the moment. It's going to be really hard for Owen to ignore that.

Lieberjosch: No one wants to see this end via referee stoppage.

Vinegar: Of course not, especially not due to an injury.

Reese: Jordan King and the medical staff reach Magdalena and begin to question her about her shoulders. He looks very concerned by her answers but she's passionately arguing with him that she can continue.

Lieberjosch: I'm sure that she thinks that she can, but she can't lift her arms, which is rather difficult to hide.

Vinegar: She's pleading with Jordan and Owen to let her continue.

Reese: Wouldn't you if you and someone you love were put through what they were put through by Baal?Vine

Vinegar: Yes. Of course.

Lieberjosch: I'd hire someone to do it for me.

Reese: Neither of us needed to know that.

Vinegar: I have no idea how, but Magdalena has plead her way to being allowed to continue.

Lieberjosch: Did she move either of her arms?

Vinegar: Did any of us see her arms move, because I didn't.

Reese: I didn't.

Lieberjosch: Neither did I. Apparently that idiot King did. I wouldn't trust him, though.

Reese: Why not?

Lieberjosch: Because he's Jordan King.

Reese: How empirical of you.

Vinegar: Magdalena walks back to the ring and slides in. Baal immediately goes back onto the attack by grabbing her by the wrist and driving his shoulder into her's. She lets out a yell of pain and almost drops to a knee, so Baal repeats the attack and rams his shoulder into hers again. She lets out another yell and he lifts her arm up and violently jerks it down.

Lieberjosch: That's wise. Disable her arm.

Vinegar: He does it one more time, then wraps her arm behind her and runs her arm and back first into the nearest turnbuckle. She yells in pain again and she looks to be in absolute agony.

Lieberjosch: That's wise. Disable her arm.

Vinegar: He does it one more time, then wraps her arm behind her and runs her arm and back first into the nearest turnbuckle. She yells in pain again as her shoulder slams into the turnbuckle and momentarily slumps against it. She looks to be in absolute agony.

Reese: Baal has been methodical and exacting in his attack.

Lieberjosch: Brilliant men do that.

Reese: So do sadists.

Lieberjosch: They’re not mutually exclusive.

Reese: That’s true, but you sound like you’re congratulating him for what he’s done.

Vinegar: More like cheerleading.

Lieberjosch: I’m not cheerleading. I think that what he did to Lucy and Magdalena has been reprehensible, even if he did it for entirely tactical reasons.

Vinegar: “Tactical reasons”? He handed her over to her murderous, sociopath of a father. I don’t care what he reason was, it was inexcusable and unconscionable.

Lieberjosch: I agree, but it had the desired effect of getting into Magdalena’s head.

Vinegar:That’s no justification for what he did. He should be in prison right now! Not challenging for a championship during our biggest pay-per- view of the calendar year!

Reese: Nick’s right, Hans.

Lieberjosch: That may be, but he’s not in prison. He’s here...and right now he’s taking the Cross- Hemisphere Champion apart.

Vinegar: Well then, that makes it all better!

Lieberjosch: Sarcasm is the lowest form of humor, Nick.

Reese: Especially when it hits the mark.

Lieberjosch: Right.

Reese: I thought so.
Lieberjosch: Wait…

Vinegar: The moment’s passed, Hans. He got you.

Reese: Baal grabs Magdalena by her right arm and shoulder, spins her around and throws her shoulder first back into the corner post.

Vinegar: That impact sounded horrible! It reverberated throughout the entire arena!

Lieberjosch: It also reverberated throughout Magdalena’s body, which made it hurt all the worse.

Reese: That’s true.

Vinegar: Magdalena turns and staggers out of the corner, clutching at her shoulder with a grimace on her face. Baal smiles at the sight of it, then grabs her in an inverted bearhug around…

Lieberjosch: Belly to belly suplex!

Reese: Did you notice that he turned to the side and drove all of his weight down on top of her injured right arm?

Lieberjosch: He’s an inventive wrestler and he’s always specialized at increasing the pain of others to his own benefit.

Vinegar: Listen to those boos!

Reese: The fans are sparing no effort in letting him know how much they detest him.

Lieberjosch: That’ll sound like music to him when he’s standing on the turnbuckle with the Championship raised over his head as a three-time Cross- Hemisphere Champion!

Vinegar: That remains to be seen. Lockheart has shown incredible toughness and tenacity in the past. Don’t count her out yet.

Lieberjosch: I’m not, but he’s been dominating her for awhile now.

Reese: He has, but in his zeal to focus on her right arm, he’s forgotten something very important.

Vinegar: Baal whips her off of the ropes…

Lieberjosch: What’s that?
Vinegar: Leaping palm strike from Magdalena!

Reese: She has a left hand.

Lieberjosch: Oh. Yeah.

Vinegar: Baal stumbles back towards the ropes and she springs forward and drives another palm strike into the point of his chin that leaves him reeling against the ropes.

Lieberjosch: He’s letting her feel like she has a chance before he slams the door on her.

Reese: Sure he is, Hans. You just sit there like a good boy and keep playing “hype-man” for Baal while the adults sit here with you and commentate.

Lieberjosch: You know, Reese, you can be a real dick sometimes.

Reese: I know.

Vinegar: Magdalena moves like she’s going to land another palm strike, but feigns when Baal goes to cover his chin and instead she strikes him with a rolling elbow that sends him over the ropes and out of the ring. He finally stops when he slams into our table.

Lieberjosch: I’m telling you that he’s just lulling her into making a mistake.

Vinegar:: She has Baal reeling as he shakes his head to clear it and then turns around.

Reese: It’s time to move!

Lieberjosch: Move? Why?

Vinegar: Move, Hans!

Lieberjosch: Wh...oh, damn….not again!

Fans: OHHHHH!!!!

Vinegar: Magdalena just flew out of the ring and took Baal out with a flying clothesline over the top rope!

Reese: The impact of her clothesline took Baal up and over the table and for the second time tonight, Hans Lieberjosch has been taken out by having an entertainment professional land on him!

Vinegar: I guess the writer really likes the trope.

Reese: It appears that way.

Vinegar: Magdalena rolls away from the table and pops to her feet. She tries to shake the pain out of her right arm, but finds that she still can’t move it that much.

Reese: She just noticed Owen’s count and she quickly darts back into the ring, rolls under the rope to break it and then rolls back out.

Vinegar: Baal still hasn’t moved.

Reese: Magdalena walks around and grabs him with one arm. She gives him a tug but finds that he’s harder to move than she thought. She drags him to the best of her ability, but doesn’t make much progress and looks up at the ring to see Owen again counting.

Vinegar: She darts back to the ring and rolls in and back out and once again Owen has to restart his count. She walks over to Baal, who is finally stirring and she roughly yanks him to his knees with one hand.

Lieberjosch: What a cheap shot!

Reese: I’m not sure that counts as a “cheap shot”, but it sure rocked his head back!

Vinegar: What a knee to the chin!

Lieberjosch: It was a cheap shot.

Reese: You call that a cheap shot, but when he paralyzes people in the ring, you’re always perfectly fine with it. Explain the difference.

Lieberjosch: Why?

Reese: I don’t know, consistency? Integrity?

Vinegar: Hans isn’t big on those.

Lieberjosch: Very funny, Nick.

Vinegar: No, in fact it’s not at all funny. Your inability to be objective makes us look bad.

Reese: Baal staggers away from Magdalena and ends up leaning against the ring apron. She runs and leaps onto the apron on the other side of the ring.
Lieberjosch: What’s she doing?

Reese: It looks like she’s aiming.

Vinegar: Magdalena dashes across the apron. Right before she reaches Baal she rears back with her foot…

Lieberjosch: Baal rolls back into the ring!

Reese: Magdalena runs right up the turnbuckle and turns to look at Baal, who’s almost back to his feet.

Vinegar: He has no idea how vulnerable he is right now.

Reese: Magdalena leaps!

Vinegar: Stomp from the top rope! She spikes his head into the mat!

Reese: Baal flips over onto his back and he looks out of it.

Lieberjosch: Damn it! She’s going to steal this match!

Vinegar: Stop cheerleading for him!

Lieberjosch: I’m not “cheerleading”! He deserves to win this match!

Reese: Hans, what do we call it when someone stands on the sidelines and cheers a team or player on at a professional sports event?

Lieberjosch: Cheerleading.

Reese: Say that one more time.

Lieberjosch: Cheerleading….wait…

Vinegar: This is delightful.

Lieberjosch: You know, Reese, you can be a real dick.

Reese: I know. It’s a New York thing.

Vinegar: Magdalena turns him over and drops into the pin. Owen drops to the mat and begins the pin.
Lieberjosch: One! This is so unfair!

Reese: Two!!!

Fans: Thre….

Vinegar: Magdalena just pulled Baal off of the mat! She had this won!

Reese: She’s not done punishing him yet.

Lieberjosch: I hope this little bit of arrogance costs her the match.

Reese: Put away your pom poms, Hans.

Vinegar: Magdalena mounts Baal’s chest and begins to rain down strikes, alternating between punches and forearm strikes.

Lieberjosch: Owen should disqualify her for using closed fists!

Vinegar: Would you stop?!!

Reese: Hans, do we need a backstage attendant to go get your blanket so that you can sit here quietly while the adults comment on the match?

Lieberjosch: I’m starting to really dislike you.

Reese: That’s heartbreaking, Hans. It truly is.

Vinegar: Magdalena continues to rain strike after strike down onto his head, alternating between forearms to his forehead and punches to the sides of his face. Owen tells her to stop using closed fists, but she ignores him.

Lieberjosch: Disqualify her, damn it!

Reese: Owen begins the count.

Lieberjosch: She’s not slowing down. She obviously doesn’t care what he says!

Vinegar: Owen is up to six and she’s still pummeling the Doctor.

Reese: As we discussed before, this is more about punishing him for what he’s done as it is about winning the match.

Lieberjosch: Owen is almost to ten and she’s still whaling away on him! She needs to be disqualified!

Reese: Owen raises his hand and starts to say “ten”, but Magdalena leaps up off of Baal and lets loose with an emotional roar that I’ve frankly never heard from her.

Lieberjosch: My god…look at his face!

Vinegar: Her blows have split Baal’s forehead open and there’s a trickle of blood running down his face.

Reese: Owen sees the blood and pushes Magdalena back. He tells her to give him room so he can check on Baal.

Lieberjosch: It’s about time!

Vinegar: Owen leans over and checks on Baal, who smiles at Magdalena, although it’s not as...enthusiastic of a smile as he usually has.

Reese: Baal begins to stand as Owen inspects his forehead.

Vinegar: Oh come on! That was completely unnecessary!

Reese: Baal plays more mind games on Magdalena by gesturing in a way that’s clearly meant to mock Lucy.

Vinegar: That is a frankly terrifying look on Magdalena’s face. She begins to storm towards him and Baal points at her and yells for Owen to stop her.

Reese: Now THAT was a cheap shot, Hans.

Lieberjosch: It looked clean to me.

Vinegar: He poked her in the EYE for fuck’s sake!

Lieberjosch: Nah, he saw something in her eye and was trying to clean it out.

Vinegar: You’re disgusting.

Reese: Magdalena recoils backwards, clutching at her eye. Baal gently pushes Owen aside.

Lieberjosch: THAT was SOME kick!

Vinegar: Baal uses the cheap opening that he’s created to drive his foot into her face and he goes back on the attack.

Reese: I don’t condone what Baal did. To me it reeks of desperation. Conversely, it also worked and Owen didn’t see it.

Lieberjosch: All is back to normal as Baal is back on the offensive.

Vinegar: Your bias is truly disgusting.

Reese: Baal begins to lay into Magdalena with a furious assortment of kicks that are focused on her damaged right arm. He drives her back into the ropes and turns her around, then steps over the top rope and pulls her arm over with him.

Fans: Owwww!!!!

Vinegar: Magdalana recoils in pain as he drops off of the apron and snaps her arm down over the top rope. She staggers back into the ring, clutching at it. Baal slides back into the ring, leaps to his feet and jumps up and onto the middle rope…

Lieberjosch: Freudian Slip! She’s down! She’s down!

Reese: Settle down, Hans. We wouldn’t want you to pull something in your exuberance.

Lieberjosch: You really are a prick. I never thought that I’d miss Jay…

Reese: Thanks for the compliment.

Lieberjosch: It wasn’t meant as one.

Reese: I know. That just makes me enjoy it all the more.

Vinegar: Baal grabs Magdalena and underhooks her arms. Could he be going for “The Fall”?

Reese: If he is, I doubt that he actually believes that it’ll be enough to put her away. There has to be an ulterior motive.

Vinegar: I agree.

Lieberosch: Maybe he just really wants to spike her onto her head.

Reese: That could be.

Vinegar: Baal lifts her up… “The Fall”! He got all of it!

Reese: He’s not going for the pin...what the hell is he up to?

Vinegar: I don’t know, but I don’t like that smile at all.

Lieberjosch: I think he has a rather charming smile.

Reese: That’s not what he means and you know it!

Vinegar: Gabriel on top of Magdalena now, I swear he’s got something palmed there.

Lieberjosch: I still say you’re imagining it, but it doesn’t matter, as Magdalena snaps on a wristlock from the mat, and takes Gabriel down with an armdrag.

Vinegar: You see? She’s trying to pry his fingers open to get at whatever he has there.

Lieberjosch: Baal kicks both feet out, knocking Maggie’s legs from beneath her, and she falls on top of him.

Vinegar: Locks her into a one armed crossface, but they’re close enough to the ropes for Lockheart to hook the bottom rope with her foot.

Lieberjosch: Gabriel throws his hands up and steps back, smiling. See, Nick? There’s nothing in his palm.

Reese: Some sort of sleight of hand here...

Lieberjosch: ‘The Future’ getting to her feet, she eyes Baal warily.

Vinegar: He motions her to come at him, and he scoops her up into sidewalk slam position…

Lieberjosch: Maggie uses her momentum to spin back around to her feet.

Vinegar: She grasps ‘The Serpent’s’ arm, going for an Irish Whip.

Lieberjosch: Before she can complete the turn, Gabriel reaches out and grasps her arm with his other hand, a wicked grin breaking out across his face.

Reese: Stung!

Vinegar: Magdalena’s eyes go wide as she stares down at her arm in shock.

Lieberjosch: They let each other go suddenly and take a step back from one another.

Vinegar: Baal closes in on the weakening Maggie.

Lieberjosch: Weakening? What are you talking about?

Vinegar: Come on, Hans.

Reese: LUNAR ECLIPSE!!

Vinegar: The Cross Hemisphere Champion leveled Baal with that spin kick!

Lieberjosch: Baal hits the mat like a plank, but Maggie sinks to the mat as well.

Vinegar: The sedative has finally set in.

Lieberjosch: Did she take something before the match?

Vinegar: It looks like Lockheart is trying to inch her way over to Baal as her body is slowly betraying her.

Reese: She’s going to defend no matter what!

Lieberjosch: Here comes rescue.

Vinegar: An owl-faced figure appears out of the crowd and looks up at the Owen.

Lieberjosch: He’s warning the figure not to come any closer.

Vinegar: Despite this, the figure steps up onto the apron.

Lieberjosch: Another owl-face grabs Owen from behind, wrapping him up in a chokehold!

Vinegar: As Owen goes limp, the second figure drops him to the mat.

Reese: Both figures are now in the ring, and they move over to lift Baal back to his feet.

Vinegar: Gabriel shakes out the cobwebs as he realizes what’s happening.

Lieberjosch: Jet and Eden whip off their masks, revealing themselves to the crowd, which boos ungratefully.

Reese: Jet checking his stablemate’s head from that vicious kick that knocked him on his ass, as Eden moves toward Maggie.

Lieberjosch: Gabriel motions that he’s ok, and takes a step forward to enjoy the show.

Vinegar: Eden goes to lift Maggie up, struggling with her dead, limp weight for a moment, but finally getting her in the right position for a Fall of Eden!

Reese: Oh, what!?

Lieberjosch: Jet just nailed Gabriel with Final Wound!

Vinegar: He falls to the mat, and distracts Eden from executing her maneuver.

Lieberjosch: She sees Jet on the ropes, and drops Maggie as she realizes what’s happening.

Reese: BLACKOUT on BAAL!

Lieberjosch: Eden starts forward, but she hesitate, her eyes darting back and forth between her best friends, unsure of what move to make.

Vinegar: Eden yelling at Jet, moving partially between him and Gabriel. Jet takes a step forward and she pushes him back! She’s yelling “no” at him.

Lieberjosch: She looks completely torn up.

Vinegar: As Jet steps back, his foot hits his Court mask. He looks down at it, considering.

Reese: Eden has tears trickling down her face...

Vinegar: The most sure thing she’s had in a while is falling apart, and for the first time it’s not really her fault.

Lieberjosch: Jet’s eyes move from Eden’s face down to Baal.

Vinegar: He stomps on the mask!! It’s shattered under his boot!

Lieberjosch: All the air goes out of Eden’s lungs, and she looks like she’s about to fall out.

Reese: Jet’s eyes move to the other side of Baal, where Maggie weakly crawls over to him.

Lieberjosch: Jet makes a point of slowly backing up to the ropes, keeping Eden’s attention.

1...

Vinegar: It’s not until Jet steps out through the ropes that Morgan realizes Owen has recovered and is counting!

2...

Reese: She spins around, too late!!

3!!!

Vinegar: Maggie has done it!

Mitchell: Your winner and STILL UGWC CROSS HEMISPHERE CHAMPION, MAGDALENA LOCKHEARRRRRRRRRRT!

Lieberjosch: Eden shoves Maggie off of Baal, but the champ has fully succumbed to the heat I guess.

Reese: Right the heat.

Vinegar: And we just witnessed the implosion of The Court!

Reese: It looks like everyone has had their fill of the Owls, even Jet Somers himself!

Vinegar: That's going to bring Day 3 to a close, everyone, but join us once more tomorrow for the Main Event Day!!


Lockheart - 7.58

Baal - 7.28