Post by Mr.Ego on Aug 18, 2018 16:42:24 GMT -5
Monday, August 13, 2018 - Chicago, Illinois: UGWC Arena - Post Show
Vain had slowly gotten to his feet, not taking his eyes off of Zane Scott, who still sits perched atop the ladder in the center of the ring. A slight grin tugs at the corners of Vain's mouth, as he turns and slowly begins heading up the ramp. Stopping at the top of the stage, Vain looks back over his right shoulder, casting another glance at Zane, as 'The Personification of Pain' continues celebrating on the ladder. With a slight shake of the head, he turns and proceeds through the curtain.
There to greet him are two very different people; one whom he is happy to see, and one whom he couldn't care less about if he tried. Before Simon has a chance to say anything, Grey Coppi steps forward.
Coppi: "Vain, if I could have a moment, please?"
Wallace and Wellington share a look, before Alan turns his attention back to Grey. With Simon beginning to chuckle, Alan speaks.
"Of course, Grey! Anything for you, because as you well know, 'Vain' Alan Wallace lives to grant you any and all of your needs."
Coppi doesn't look amused, but he ignores the obvious attempt to grate his nerves by the man before him.
Coppi: "For all of the good fortune that you had in previous weeks, do you feel that what happened here tonight will have a detrimental effect on your chances at Day of Reckoning?"
Wallace simply looks at him, his mouth slightly agape, and his head tilted slightly to the side. Off to the side, Simon Wellington leans against the wall, crossing his arms over his chest, a look of amusement forming on his face. Thirty seconds of silence go by, with Vain's expression never changing. Coppi decides to repeat the question.
Coppi: "Vain, everyone saw what happened tonight. For all the fortune that you had in previous weeks, do you feel that what happened here ton-"
Wallace holds up his finger, Coppi breaking off in mid-sentence.
"I heard you the first time, Coppi."
Coppi: "Pardon me, Vain, but I wasn't sure if I had articulated the question properly enough. You seemed confused by my choice of words."
Vain bursts out laughing, as does Simon. Coppi stands there stoically, looking across at both of the men before him. A look of annoyance from Coppi, as the laughter from Vain grows to the point where he begins holding his side, doubling over at the waist. Righting himself, he wipes an unseen tear from the corner of his eye, before he looks back at Coppi.
"Whew! You know Coppi, you are much funnier than people give you credit for. You're truly a riot!"
Simon speaks up.
"He does seem to have a knack for the comical every now and again."
Coppi's brow furrows, his look a mixture of anger and dismay.
Coppi: "I wasn't attempting to be funny."
Vain's eyebrows raise, the look on his face one of genuine surprise.
"Seriously? Are you sure?"
Coppi: "No, Mr. Wallace. I was not."
"So… you meant to come off like an idiot then? And here I thought you were supposed to be a professional."
Coppi: "Excuse you. I am far from being an idiot, Vain."
"Could have fooled me."
"I hold two doctorates, and I'm even confused."
Coppi: "Before this spirals completely out of control like your interviews have a tendency to do, Mr. Wallace, do you have anything at all to say regarding what happened here tonight?"
Wallace scratches at his temple, appearing deep in thought. Finally, he nods.
"Actually, I do. I noticed that Zane Scott was still on top of that ladder as I walked back through the curtain. Someone might want to go help him down. I've heard he's afraid of heights, so he may have bitten off more than he can chew here tonight. It would be a shame if he were to fall from that ladder and be rendered unable to even make the match at Day of Reckoning, simply because he allowed himself to get caught up in the moment of attempting to show me up."
Coppi: "I think Zane Scott will be perfectly fine, Vain."
"I hope so. I wouldn't want him to have any excuses when I win the World and Cross-Hemisphere Titles, and he leaves St. Paul disappointed."
Coppi: "You seem awfully sure for a man who was left lying out on the floor here tonight."
"And why shouldn't I be sure of myself, Coppi? The last three weeks, I beat each of the entertainment professionals that will oppose me at the Xcel Energy Center. Why would I allow myself to feel any sort of doubt, based solely off of a clusterfuck of a match that was thrown out before it ever truly began?"
Coppi: "If I'm not mistaken Vain, it was you that first introduced the chair that led to the match being thrown out in the first place."
A look of astonishment on the face of 'The Vain One'.
"I'll be damned, Grey… you do watch the shows. Congratulations."
Coppi: "And once again, you fail to provide insight on the statement made."
"When did you turn into such a miserable human being, Coppi? So I brought a chair into the ring… big deal. It's not something all four of us won't have to deal with in a week's time anyway, so I figured why not begin the festivities early. It was done solely to help prepare the other three for the Fatal Four Way. Honest."
Vain begins to smile, as he holds up his right hand. Coppi is not amused.
Coppi: "Well from this reporters point of view, all three of them appeared to be more than ready here tonight. And if the same holds true next week, it might be you that goes home disappointed, Vain."
The smile slowly fades from Vain's face, as Simon walks up beside of him.
"Come on, Alan. We need to leave for Miami soon."
Vain motions for Simon to hold on a moment, before turning his attention back to Grey Coppi.
"You're right, Grey. All three gave me their best shot here tonight. All three proved that when it comes to being in a match with 'Yours Truly', that they are more than capable of performing at a high level… at least when there's nothing on the line, anyway. So I suppose congratulations are in order for each of them, for the moral victories they gained here tonight. I hope that is sufficient for all of them, truly… because moral victories are all they can hope for next week, when I walk out of Minnesota with both championships, one draped over each of my perfectly-sculpted shoulders."
Wallace steps forward, staring down at the reporter in an attempt to intimidate him, before breaking into a grin as he straightens Coppi's tie.
"Top-notch work as always, Grey. The pleasure is yours, I'm sure."
With that, Wallace and Wellington head down the corridor, turning the corner and heading towards 'The Vain One's' locker room. Walking in, Vain heads to the mini fridge, while Simon shuts the door. Leaning against the wall, Simon speaks up.
"He was right concerning one thing, Alan. If the three of them somehow manage to all hit their finishers on you again next week, you're going to have a tall mountain to climb to bring home those championships."
Wallace takes a gulp from the water bottle, screwing the cap back on once he's finished. Placing the bottle on the table, he takes a seat on the sofa.
"It's quite the possibility, Simon. Then again, I might have been playing a bit of an opossum out there tonight."
Simon looks at him questioningly, but says nothing. He doesn't have to… the look on Alan's face shows he already knows what Simon is going to say.
"Don't get me wrong… all three of them caught me, that much is true… but do you honestly think it was enough to leave me lying for as long as I was on the floor? Do you not know me at all?"
Alan only allows the question to hang in the air for a moment.
"I know how Mr. Scott is, Simon. I know how he can get when he sees his own blood. And I also know that once he gets going, he won't stop until everyone around him is left immobile. Case in point… Ms. Wylde and Ms. Lockheart are likely still being pulled from the remnants of that ladder and that table. Now tell me Simon, why would I willingly put myself once more in harm's way in that scenario?"
Simon smiles as he walks over and takes a seat across from Alan.
"Even after all this time, I still marvel at how your brain works, Alan."
"You can't be successful in this industry for as long as I have, without the ability to adapt at a moment's notice. Which is why, even though in Coppi's eyes I was the one on the short end of the proverbial stick here tonight, I will be the most healthy heading into Day of Reckoning. The events of tonight with regards to 'Yours Truly'? I'll take a few Tylenol and be as good as new in the morning. That is a hell of a lot better than I can say for either Zane, Lucy, or Maggie."
Vain picks up his bottle, unscrewing the cap and taking another drink. Both he and Simon sit silently for a moment, before Simon again speaks up.
"You do realize though, that with none of them going into next week one-hundred percent healthy, they all have a ready-made excuse for why they will walk out of St. Paul empty-handed."
Vain smiles as he rises to his feet.
"Then they will prove themselves to be just like everyone else when it comes to falling victim to 'Vain' Alan Wallace. It's irrelevant, however, because in proving that I am once again the best that this industry has to offer… I'll be too busy to care what their excuses are."
Alan clasps Simon on the shoulder, and then grabs his bag and disappears around the corner, likely heading to the shower area. Simon grins from ear to ear, as he whispers to himself.
"I hope they're ready, because I know he is…"
=====================
Saturday, August 18, 2018 - New Orleans, Louisiana: New Orleans City Park
"I must say Alan, when you called earlier in the week and told me that you had been contacted about a special event being held in your honor, I never expected something like this."
Simon Wellington and Alan Wallace are shown seated on opposite sides of a picnic table, shaded by the pavilion that the table resides underneath. Simon has his back to the camera, as it focuses squarely on the face of 'Mr. Ego'. Wallace smiles as his eyes dart back and forth at the events taking place before him; events currently unseen by the camera.
"Nor did I, my friend. Spectacular, is it not?"
"Spectacular, yes. Ill-timed as well, in my opinion."
The grin on his face slightly falters, as he ceases taking in everything before him, and settles on the face of his advocate.
"Ill-timed? How can anything be 'ill-timed', when it's done to please the millions of Vaniac's worldwide?"
"Alan, in a mere two days, you will be involved in the single most important match that you've had in at least the last two years. It is a match that will either validate you within the wrestling industry, or a match that will ultimately prove your detractors correct. It is a match that needs your sole focus, and yet, it isn't receiving it. And I do not want something like this to be the culminating factor in 'Vain' Alan Wallace coming up short in a match that he is more than capable of not only winning, but dominating. That is how this… extravaganza… is considered 'ill-timed', in my humble opinion."
"Your opinion is dually noted, Simon. I appreciate the honesty. However, what's done is done, so we might as well enjoy ourselves."
"Or we could just leave?"
Vain appears more than offended at this remark from his advocate and friend, to the point where it renders him momentarily speechless. He takes a moment to gather his thoughts, taking a sip of the VEEN water that is in front of him, yet not taking his eyes off of Simon. Wellington begins shifting in his seat, realizing the awkward position his words have put him in.
"Alan, all I-"
"Just leave? Your advice is for us to just leave? It's like I don't even know you sometimes, Simon."
"All I'm saying is-"
"You do realize that the reason we are here in New Orleans, is because each time that I've been involved in a show at New Orleans City Park, that my match has been the highest rated of the entire event, right? That my merchandise sales have obliterated all others it has been in competition with, every single time? That 'Vain' Alan Wallace is the single-most talked about person within not only the industry, but the entire state of Louisiana, each and every time that he steps foot onto these grounds? And your advice is for us to just leave? To gather our things, and walk out on all of the people that worked so hard to put this together; to walk out on the tens-of-thousands of people who have paid their hard-earned money to be here, in honor of me; to walk out on the millions more that will be watching online, no doubt while wearing all of the Vain apparel that they've accumulated over the duration of my legendary career? And you just want us to leave? Shame on you, Simon Wellington."
An audible sigh is heard from Simon.
"The event itself isn't the problem, Alan. If a city wants to honor someone within the industry in this manner, then the name at the top of that list is obviously going to be 'Vain' Alan Wallace. That's a given. I just question why it's being held now. That's all."
"What better time than right before I win the most talked about match in recent memory? Do you realize how important this event will be to all of the little people that have chosen to be here today, as it provides them the opportunity to be able to tell all of their friends that they were granted the luxury of being near the single greatest entertainment professional of all time, a mere two days before he solidified that fact with his Herculean effort at Day of Reckoning, when he ultimately become both the UGWC World and UGWC Cross-Hemisphere Champions? Can you image how much joy that will bring to the lives of all of those people, Simon? To be able to walk this close to their god, a mere two days before he turns water into wine, yet again?"
"And what I witnessed when I walked the grounds earlier will provide them that luxury, Alan?"
"Most definitely."
Simon nods, as he leans forward.
"And this… spectacle… who was in charge of planning the 'attractions'?"
A sheepish smile appears on the face of Alan Wallace, as he half-shrugs.
"I might have had a hand in helping plan the festivities. Who better than Alan Wallace, to help decide what fans of Alan Wallace want to experience?"
"Well, you are your own biggest fan, Alan. I'll concede that point."
"Why thank you, Simon. You're too kind."
Wallace rises from his seat, as does Simon. Alan walks around to where Simon now stands, Simon turning and looking out towards the camera, both men taking in all of the festivities that are still unseen to the camera.
"Shall we?"
Simon says nothing, instead preferring to motion for Alan to lead the way, a slight side-to-side shake of the head as he follows in step behind 'Vanity at its Finest'.
~~~
The two men walk slowly through the grounds, taking in everything around then. Surprisingly, they are not being mobbed by the masses. Meaning Vain. Nobody really cares much about Simon. As they go, the two men hold a conversation.
"I'm surprised that we aren't finding ourselves in the middle of a mass of screaming humanity. And yet, you do not seem surprised. Why is that, Alan?"
With a chuckle, Vain answers the remark, as the two men continue on their way, towards the middle of the park.
"As much as I absolutely adore the screaming public Simon, as you yourself said on multiple occasions, I have a very important match in just two days. As such, I knew that I needed to take every precaution possible, to ensure that I didn't suffer any unfortunate injuries due to how chaotic my legion of fans can be."
"Meaning?
"I hired a proxy."
"You… what?"
Simon stops in his tracks, Vain doing the same. Simon turns and looks at Vain, who predictably, smiles at him.
"You… hired a proxy? What does that even mean?"
"It's quite simple, really. There are times where I find some tasks to be too menial to waste my precious time. Let's face it, Simon… some things are beneath a person of my stature. As such, for those tasks and times, I have hired someone to preform them for me."
"I… I don't understand."
"I hired someone that looks like me, although he's not nearly as pretty, because come on, how could he be? Any who… he is tasked to dress in exactly what it is that I am dressed in, and he has dedicated himself to perfecting all of my mannerisms and motions. Quite honestly, unless one is equipped with the eyes of a hawk, they'll never know the difference."
"And this… proxy… has already made his way through?"
"Indeed he has, Simon. While we were chatting under the pavilion. It was quite amazing to see, if I must say. I now understand what it must feel like for mere mortals to watch as 'Yours Truly' makes appearances, and is immersed in a sea of humanity as all those around mob him at every turn. Was quite eye opening, if I must say."
The two men once again begin making their way through the grounds, with Vain pointing off in the distance, to what looks to be the main stage that is set up for this event.
"By the looks of things, it appears as if my proxy has arrived at the Q&A Table that has been set up. We will need to make our way up there within the next thirty minutes."
"What happens if he attempts to answer questions as 'Vain' Alan Wallace?"
"Won't happen, Simon. That young man has been employed by me long enough to know what is acceptable, and what is not. And he is loyal, much like you. And Vain rewards loyalty."
"How long have you employed him?"
Vain thinks for a moment, as the two come to a stop an what looks to be an empty concession area.
"Five years or so, give or take."
Simon is shocked to the point of silence, eliciting a chuckle from Wallace.
"I know, I know. Trust me, I was hoping that he could make his public debut long before now. Unfortunately, mere weeks before he was scheduled to appear in a match in my stead, a supposed A-Lister up North hired some idiotic stunt double, and it forced me to make a change of plans. Because I'll be damned if I will allow fans to think that I am falling in line with someone like that… no matter how 'awesome' he mistakenly thinks he is."
"So you were looking to have your proxy wrestle for you back then?"
"Of course, Simon. I mean, nobody wants to wrestle people like Jordan King and Dave Rydell."
"Touché. So then tell me, why now, for him to make his debut?"
"You mean here, in New Orleans? Honestly, there couldn't have been a more perfect place for him to make his debut. He has had people ripping and clawing at him ever since he arrived here this morning, I'm sure. I can't imagine the horror. I mean… we are in Louisiana, Simon."
Simon motions towards the empty concession area.
"What happened here?"
Turning towards what Simon is pointing towards, Vain turns back around, sadness in his eyes.
"That was to be a VEEN water concession area. Actually, there were to be approximately ten or twelve of them throughout the park. Unfortunately it failed to come to fruition. Apparently there was a shortage here in the States, due to a revised order that was placed by a very special consumer, and there simply wasn't the supply of VEEN that there needed to be, in order to sustain this event. Instead, the masses are relegated to drinking… Deer Park."
A visible shudder from Alan, as a look of realization forms on the face of his cohort.
"Wait… wasn't it you that sent in a revised order for additional pallets of VEEN?"
"Yes. Your point?"
"Well, couldn't you have offered to provide some for this event which is being held in your honor?"
"Why would I do that?"
The look on Vain's face shows that he is as serious as he could be in asking that question, causing Simon to slightly pause before replying.
"I… well, I was just going to suggest possibly gifting some of your supply to all those who came out to see you here today, Alan. As a show of appreciation."
"That would be even worse than Cynric's penchant for leaving them sit out at room temperature. Bite your tongue, Wellington!"
Wallace continues through the grounds, with Simon following behind him. Wallace provides commentary on what they are passing by as they go.
"That make-shift building to our right is the 'Hall of Vanity'. It contains a myriad of still photos and other memorabilia, which all commemorates the greatness that 'Yours Truly' has brought to our great industry over the last decade. Each and every item in that building will likely find its way to the UGWC Hall of Fame at some point, and rightly so. For each and every photograph and piece of memorabilia in that building, at various points in time, have served as inspiration to all of those that I have come in contact with over the years, pushing them to achieve their own levels of success. Donated by 'Yours Truly', because I care."
"Anything that might be of surprise?"
"Outside of the twelve-inch 'Vain' Alan Wallace action figure that Zane Scott sleeps with for good luck, no, nothing in particular."
Simon attempts to retort, but Vain interrupts him before he can even begin.
"And I know, I know… I shouldn't have paid someone to let themselves into Zane's place without his permission, but let's face it… him having an action figure of 'Vanity at its Finest' this close to the biggest match of his career could possibly give him an unfair advantage over Maggie, Lucy, and myself. And you know me, Simon… I'm nothing if not a man of fairness and respectability. As such, once Day of Reckoning is over, I will gladly send what is surely Zane's most prized possession back to him. Possibly with a note of thanks from the new World and Cross-Hemisphere Champions. Because I'm a giver like that, Simon."
The two men continue on their way, with Simon pointing over towards a small booth with 'Police Line Do Not Cross' tape all around it.
"Care to explain that?"
Vain rolls his eyes.
"One of the women that was helping put this event together thought that it would be a good idea to have can best be described as a 'Vain Look-a-Like' booth. Apparently, with how she described it anyhow, it would have been for those that decided to dress up as 'Yours Truly' for the event, and they would be all judged by fan reaction as to who won."
"Cosplayers."
"What?"
"The people that dressed as you for this event… they're called cosplayers, I believe. People do the same for events such as Comic-Con."
Vain stops, turning and looking at Simon in disgust.
"Figures you'd be a comic fan."
Vain turns and begins walking again, with Simon doing the same.
"Either way, I deemed that it would be physically impossible for anyone to truly look as good as 'Vain' Alan Wallace, so I had that portion of the event shut down."
"But police tape, Alan? Really??"
"It was fitting, Simon, because for anyone to purposely attempt to pass themselves off as 'Vain' Alan Wallace - and ultimately come up completely short in that endeavor because it's an impossibility - it should be a freaking crime."
"And your proxy?"
"The lone exception, Simon."
The two walk in silence for a few moments, the sound of song coming from off in the distance. Simon's ears perk up.
"Do my ears deceive me?"
Vain says nothing, simply smiling, as they continue on in the direction the music is coming from.
There was a great man named Vain
Who viewed extreme failure with pain
So all he does is win
Much to your chagrin
He's much stronger and smarter than Bane
"Sounds like someone else is a comic fan."
"Well you've seen the company that he keeps. Are you surprised?"
The two continue on, finally happening upon another pavilion. At the center of this one sits a large table, with a computer monitor resting on top, gameplay from the new UGWC2K19 wrestling game appearing on it. To the right, sitting on top of a picnic table, is the source of the songs being heard.
You lose once again to His Ego
He has your number, amigo
You should just cut your losses
And tend to your hosses
Shall I get for you a Lexapro
Vain and Simon both walk up to the man on the table, who looks up and smiles.
"It's a pleasure to see you again, Chauncey."
"And you, my Lord", comes the response from the noble Bard, as he proceeds to play his lute.
"Judging from your lyrics, I assume our valiant Crusader is having difficulties?"
Chauncey ceases playing for a moment, providing an uneasy smile as he glances over at Cynric. Saying nothing, he returns to his music, as both Alan and Simon smile, before turning their attention to the man in the gaming chair.
"Dear Crusader, t'is a pleasure to see you out and about!"
"'T'was my pleasure, oh charming, yet nefarious prince… until I was forsaken by the 2K19 of UGWC. Thine game is, indeed, of a broken nature."
"Are you sure it isn't just due to you not being very good at it, Cynric?"
Our Dear Crusader flings his chair backwards, jumping to his feet in an animated fashion, as he turns his attention towards Vain's advocate.
"Nay, Master of Scholarly Ineptitude, for it is not a problem with mine Crusade, but a problem with thine Quest Giver of the 2K19 realm!"
"The… Quest Giver, Cynric?"
"Aye, ye nefarious one. Thine mode of mine career is of a broken nature."
"That's impossible."
Cynric raises his right hand, slowly taking his glove off, before proceeding to slap Simon across the face with it. Saying nothing, he then returns the glove to his hand, and diverts his attention back to a chuckling Wallace.
"Thou Quest Giver only allows the mode of career to be taken by our charming, yet nefarious prince. Each attempt at partaking such quest causes the realm to glitch, forever returning to the charming one. Worse still, victory shall always be his… even when mine hands offered no control of the activities."
"Well, that's interesting. On the bright side Cynric, at least you'll never have the misfortune of losing."
The sudden realization of what Vain is saying hits Cynric like a ton of bricks, his demeanor turning forlorn. Gathering his things, he motions for Chauncey.
"Alas, you are most correct, dear prince. Thine Quest Giver has truly taken all strategy from mine crusade. Thus, I shall return to the Estates of Wallace and Worth, where I shall begin anew mine journey through the land of Azeroth. For the Horde!"
The two men make their way towards the East end of the grounds, towards what appears to be a horse. Alan and Simon watch as Cynric takes off running towards the object, falling to his knees and wailing.
"MINE MARE! SHE IS BUT MADE OF STONE! COME CHAUNCEY, FOR WE SHALL SLAY THOU WHO WOULD DARE!"
Cynric takes off running towards the entrance gate, Chauncey struggling to keep up with him. Back under the pavilion, Simon turns to Alan.
"What did you do, Alan?"
Vain turns to him and smiles.
"I merely saw to it that nobody would have the misfortune of stepping in horse excrement, Simon. That's all."
"And where is Henrietta now?"
Vain shrugs his shoulders as he turns and begins walking towards the main stage area.
"It's inconsequential, Simon, for I have more important matters to attend."
~
As Alan and Simon ascend the steps that lead up to the stage area, a murmur goes up through the crowd. The sea of humanity first look to the Vain walking up onto the stage, and then over to the Vain that has been seated before them in silence for the last half-an-hour. Everyone in attendance does multiple takes, as the two Vain's shake hands, and the proxy exits stage right. As Simon takes a seat, Wallace steps out towards the edge of the stage, placing his hands in his pants pockets, as he smile out at his adoring public.
"Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen! And welcome to the Vain-Con 2018 Panel Forum!"
There is polite applause, as most are still attempting to figure out what is actually going on. A man who looks to be in his mid-twenties speaks up.
"Dude, what the hell? Why are there two Vain's?"
"Oh, you're referring to my proxy? That's Glenn. Nice guy, right?"
Another member of the crowd, this one a most likely barely legal teen female, speaks up.
"You mean, like, we paid good money to come here to see you and stuff, and it, like, hasn't even been you that we've been fawning all over and stuff? That's, like, totally fucked up and stuff!"
Agreement is heard from many others in attendance, as Vain motions for them to calm down.
"For starters my dear, once you're legal to consume alcohol, you be sure to contact 'Yours Truly'. I'm still looking to fill out my harem, since Mr. Ingalls deemed himself a failure in that endeavor, and I have a feeling you would be a perfect addition. Secondly, you and I both know that you didn't pay good money for anything. More than likely you charged your parents Visa, and they will know about this trip once they receive their bill in the mail. And thirdly, when you are as in demand as Alan Wallace is, you sometimes have to make arrangements to appease all those who adore you, and sacrifices unfortunately have to be made."
Another murmur from the crowd, that Vain allows, before continuing.
"The important thing is that I am here now. And with everything that all of you have been privy to see over the last two days, you have more than gotten your monies worth. You're welcome."
Vain smiles, and then turns and steps around to the backside of the table. Motioning to Simon, Alan takes a seat, as Simon rises from his, a microphone in hand.
"Ladies and Gentlemen, 'Vain' Alan Wallace thanks all of you for showing up for the first-ever Vain-Con event. And he would be remiss if he did not mention the area off to our right, butted against the edge of the park, which is entitled 'The Platinum Experience'. Now the main area consists of dozens of platinum-made, life-sized statues of your favorite hero, created in various poses that Vain has perfected over the years in this industry. And he has brought you this gloriousness for free, out of the goodness of his heart."
Vain looks up from the index card that he holds in his hand, casting a look over towards his client. Smiling, Vain motions for him to continue, eliciting a disbelieving shake of the head from 'The Scholar'.
"He also would like everyone to know that there is also a VIP section, where for a one-time cost of 99.99, you will receive a VIP pass that will allow you access to his 'private' collection. And while I cannot in good conscience describe what can be found in this 'private' collection, I have it on good authority that dozens of women - as well as quite a few men - have already been carried out of the park area, and taken to a local medical facility, due to the sheer amount of swooning and ecstasy that Vain's 'private' collection caused them."
Simon sighs as he places the index card back in his pocket, looking back up in time to see upwards of fifty additional people - women and men alike - running towards the building that contains 'The Platinum Experience'. As many others in the crowd contemplate doing the same, Simon speaks up once more.
"For those of you still here, I know that you are eagerly awaiting the question and answer session scheduled. Unfortunately, we only have a certain allotment of time, so while we will do our best to get to as many questions as possible, please know that any additional questions that you have for Alan Wallace can be forwarded to him at a later date, care of the UGWC website. So, who has the first question for Alan Wallace?"
Simon gazes out at the sea of arms that are raised in the air, finally settling on a short, portly man, with greying hair.
"You, Sir… please headed to the nearest microphone stand so that you may ask the question that you have for Alan Wallace."
The smile is firmly entrenched on the face of Alan Wallace, as he awaits the elderly man to get to the microphone. He finally does.
"Hello Mr. Wallace, my name is Charles, and I've been a huge fan of yours ever since you first started with Headstrong Wrestling."
"Good afternoon, Charles."
Being acknowledged by his hero leaves the man speechless for a moment, his grin completely overtaking his face. Getting a grip on himself, he finally continues.
"I've always known you to be the best wrestler I've ever had the pleasure of seeing, but many others over the last couple of years have somewhat written you off. My question is, with the recent run of success that you've had over the last month involving matches with your opponents at Day of Reckoning, what do you feel when you think of how some people talked about your missteps prior to that? Is there a smugness there, because you've always known that you were better than those who have been dismissive of you? Or do you feel vindicated in a way?"
Vain looks surprised at the question.
"Quite an in depth question from the very beginning. Vain likes your style… Charles, was it?"
The man nods his head in the affirmative.
"Great. As I was saying, excellent question, Charles. And if I am being completely honest, other people's views of 'Vain' Alan Wallace aren't worth me worrying about. I realize that there are going to be certain individuals who are going to hate on everything that I do, and everything that I am. Whether I win every match I'm put in, or I become a perennial jobber used only to enhance other talent, there will be a certain segment of the population that all out hates 'Yours Truly'. And I'm fine with that… my shoulders are plenty big enough to carry the weight of it. Because truth be told, the only opinions I put any stock into are those of Celeste, Simon, and myself. Nobody else matters. No offense."
Laughter comes from many in the crowd, as Vain shifts in his seat. Taking a drink of water, he places the bottle back onto the table, before looking back out to Charles.
"But to answer your question, I guess I've been slightly vindicated in a way. Vindicated in my own eyes, that is. I knew I had the talent to get back to the highest of levels. All I had to do was get out of my own way. With my personal beefs all but settled, the last few weeks I have been able to completely focus on what is best for my professional life. And in two days' time, my vindication will be on display for all to see, as I celebrate become the World and C-H Champs, yet again. It's been far too long."
Charles makes his way back to his spot in the crowd, as thousands of hands again go into the air. Simon points to a diminutive blonde near the front.
"Yes, my dear… please find the nearest microphone so that you may ask your question."
Unable to contain her excitement, the pretty little blonde almost bounces to the nearest microphone.
"O-M-G! You're Alan Wallace! I'm Bella, and I'm a huuuuuuuuuuuuugeeeeeeeeeeeeee fan of yours. And I actually have two questions."
"It is my pleasure to meet you, Bella. Please, ask away."
"So my first question is, how do I apply to become a member of your harem. I would sooooooooooo do a totally great job at that!"
"I have no doubt that you would, Bella. Tell ya what, once we are finished here, come find me and we can discuss it."
"Candace is gonna be soooooooooooo jealous, but I told that bitch to come. It's her loss. Anyway, my second question… if you become a double champion-"
Vain clears his throat, causing Bella to stop mid-sentence. With a smile, Vain leans closer to his microphone.
"I'm sorry, but if? Oh Bella, you are not off to a good start in this interview process for inclusion into 'The Vain Harem'."
The beauty looks mortified.
"I'm sooooooooooooooo sorry. It was a complete slip of the tongue, I swear! When you become a double champion, how will your reign mean more than Zane's historical triple champion reign?"
Vain leans back in his seat, momentarily sucking his teeth, as he glares at the buxom blonde before him. He attempts to put a smile on his face, but everyone can tell that he doesn't care for the question. Leaning forward, he speaks.
"Zane Scott has done a great deal for this industry, not just UGWC. He has won titles everywhere that he has gone, and for UGWC, he has proven to be one of the more reliable superstars of the last decade. With that said…"
Wallace closes his eyes, cracking his neck, as he inhales deeply. Upon opening his eyes again, his glare seems full of detest.
"I am so sick and fucking tired of hearing about this supposed 'historic' triple championship reign that Mr. Scott has prattled on incessantly about every time a microphone is in his face, or any time he finds his way to social media and adds hashtags like an attention-starved pre-teen female. Because it isn't the first triple championship reign that has occurred within this company. I did it first!"
Bella slowly backs away from the microphone, on the verge of tears, as the eyes of Vain seemingly bore a hole into her very soul.
"Everyone seems to have forgotten that at one time, 'Yours Truly' held one-half of the Cooperative Titles… was the reigning Cross-Hemisphere Champion… and was also the true, rightful, final holder of the HSW World Championship. All simultaneously. And all successfully defended at Horizons 2014. Now some in this company do not recognize the HSW Title as an active title within UGWC at that time, which is highly humorous to 'The Vain One' considering I put it on the line along with the Cooperative and C-H Titles during that Run of the Mill match, and was the one that came out victorious. Which, to me, means that it was a sanctioned title for the company… but acknowledging that title apparently doesn't fit the narrative that both Zane and Donovan are attempting to write, because acknowledging that fact puts 'Vain' Alan Wallace in a class all of his own, with Zane Scott following in my footsteps just like he attempted to do when we were in 'The Syndicate'."
Vain rises to his feet, yanking the microphone off of its stand, and walking around the table.
"Might I also remind everyone here, and everyone watching around the world, that soon thereafter, I beat Klaus vonKnorre to become the new UGWC World Champion. To gain that opportunity, I had to willingly relinquish - not LOSE - willingly relinquish the Cross-Hemisphere Championship, because while 'The Consortium' knew that it was only a matter of time before I became the World Champ, they also knew there wasn't a wrestler in the company that stood a chance of taking the Cross-Hemisphere Title off of me. So seeing as how Mr. Scott likes throwing hashtags around, maybe he should try this one on for size: #VainWouldHaveBeentheOnlyQuadrupleChampioninHistorybutHadtoRelinquishOneofTheminOrdertoFightforAnotherBecauseHeWasSimplyBetterThanEverybodyFuckingElseandEveryoneKnewIt."
Deeply exhaling, Vain turns and walks back around the table, retaking his seat, and then placing the microphone back on its stand.
"And Bella… you've proven that you don't have what it takes to be a member of my harem. Your request is denied. Simon, find me someone with a better question, please."
Only a few hands go up this time, most members of the audience worried about receiving the verbal tongue-lashing that poor Bella was unfortunate enough to bear the brunt of. Simon looks around for a moment before settling on a teenaged male with glasses. The teen makes his way to the nearest microphone.
"Vain, I'm a huge fan, and I have a question I've always wanted to ask you."
"Do you happen to have a name, son?"
"Oh, sorry. I'm Mordecai-"
"Good Lord, I am so sorry."
The laughter from all of those around him is lost on Mordecai, as he just continues on.
"Yeah, so I'm Mordecai, and I was wondering, if you had to put yourself and your Day of Reckoning opponents into different Hogwarts houses, which house would each of you be in and why?"
Vain turns his head, he and Simon sharing a look, as Simon shrugs his shoulders and mouths the words 'I have no idea' to him. Vain turns back towards the audience, looking at Mordecai in silence for more than a few awkward seconds. Finally, he begins searching for the words.
"I… well… so I didn't expect a question like that today. Wow… you've really thrown 'Mr. Ego' a curve ball, Mordecai. Kudos, because not many people catch Vain off-guard."
Vain shakes his head back and forth, unsure how to best answer the question, but decides to wing it anyway.
"Part of me would say that I would fit well as a Gryffindor, because I think I'm hilarious; I'm trusting to a fault, as the debacle between myself and Killian King can attest; and I can be quite stubborn at times. I'm also a very responsible individual, so that falls in line with House Gryffindor as well. The problem though is that the little I know about Gryffindor House, is that it's members tend to showcase their responsibility by having a strong tendency to own their mistakes. And as we all know, 'Vain' Alan Wallace simply doesn't make mistakes. Know who does tend to make a lot of mistakes? Our esteemed World Champion, Lucy Wylde."
Some 'oooh's and ahhh's' from the crowd, causing Vain to smile.
"Don't get me wrong, Lucy Wylde has done an admirable job of bringing respectability to the title as she holds it for me until Day of Reckoning, because she is a consummate professional. Personally though, she's been a walking nightmare. Marital troubles with CJ… whatever her drunken relationship is with JC, who just so happens to be a married man, mind you… the whole Gabriel Baal kidnapped her and handed her over to her father… now the issues with Magdalena Lockheart. And she takes no responsibility for any of it. Total Gryffindor actions, in my humble opinion, and not the type of person who should be our World Champion."
"Maybe I would fit in the Ravenclaw House. I share some of their more endearing qualities. I'm intelligent, creative, and honestly, wise beyond my years. And I am quite fond of having intellectual conversations, if only that could be more of an occurrence within UGWC. And I have been known to show emotion at times, though I would be remiss if I didn't mention the fact that Magdalena Lockheart totally wears her emotions on her sleeve, much to her very own detriment."
Murmurs of agreement from the crowd, as Vain leans back in his seat.
"Ms. Lockheart seems to be a fairly intelligent human being, which is why it amazes me so much that she allows her emotions to put her into bad situations. In a time where she should be focused on carrying the Cross-Hemisphere Title with dignity, and planning the way to win the World Title, she has allowed a moment of concern to completely turn her world upside-down, and became the very driving force in her attention being diverted onto something trivial and inconsequential. Which is not something that a true champion would allow to happen, ever. It's funny, because people have been known to say that Ravenclaws are great at what they are interested in, but need to have that interest. In Maggie's case, apparently the one thing that she has the most interest in, is living a life engulfed in total chaos… which she can focus completely on, once I relieve her of her Cross-Hemisphere Championship. You're welcome, Lucy."
"I could be a Hufflepuff. I mean, you won't find anyone more determined than I am, or more tenacious. Those who are on my good side know without question that they can rely on me for anything they need. And I'm loyal to those who deserve it. Then again, the same can be said of Zane Scott, and I think everyone here knows that he is loyal to a fault."
Nods of agreement from those in attendance, though there are a few people with quizzical looks on their faces. Vain takes notice of this immediately.
"Zane is loyal to Donovan, without question. Has been ever since they first became known collectively as 'Pain and Paradox'. The issue is, once Donovan became the Creative Director, he seemed to take great pleasure in putting Mr. Scott into precarious situations… situations that ultimately led to Mr. Scott being required to put the word 'former' before the phrases 'UGWC World Champion', 'UGWC Chaos Champion', and 'UGWC Cooperative Champion'. And yet Zane continued being loyal to Donovan, retrieving the same stick each and every time that Donovan through it and told him to go fetch. It's a damn shame too, because unleashed Zane is a Zane that I truly admire. This Zane has been put in a choker collar for far too long, and come Day of Reckoning, I'm going to be forced to put down the neutered Hufflepuff, even though it will pain me to do so."
"So I guess that means I'm House Slytherin. I'm ambitious, a perfectionist, and quite adept at using my intelligence as a tool in order to achieve my goals. And, as stated a few moments ago, I am highly selective when it comes to who I am loyal to."
"You also love positive attention, and tend to thrive on the praise heaped upon you."
Vain looks over at him questioningly.
"I decided to Google the subject while you were providing your answer. Tell me, Alan… how is it that you have come to know anything at all about the Harry Potter series?"
Vain chuckles.
"That's quite simple, Simon… Cynric has been on the grounds for an extended period of time. We discussed it one evening over virgin VEEN and vodkas."
"Ah yes, the good Crusader. I should have known."
"Cynric likes to say he's Gryffindor through and through, but in all reality, he's actually a Hufflepuff. He just refuses to accept it."
"Good for him. I don't care. Moving on to the next question…"
Simon looks through the crowd, as Mordecai makes his way back to the group he came with. Wellington points to an older lady, motioning for her to make her way to the nearest microphone.
"Yes ma'am, please approach the microphone and ask Vain your question."
"Hello, Mr. Wallace, my name is Betty, and I was wondering if our Savior Jesus Christ were to descend from Heaven moments after your hand would be raised in victory at Day of Reckoning, what would your biggest regret be?"
Vain appears genuinely taken pleased with the question.
"Good afternoon, Miss Betty. It's good of you to be here today. I have a good feeling about you, ma'am… you remind me of my grandmother."
"I'm sure that she is a wonderful lady, Mr. Wallace."
Vain smiles, this one a pure, genuine smile.
"She was indeed, ma'am. Unfortunately, she left us when I was only ten, but she left an indelible mark on me for sure."
The two of them smile at one another, causing Simon to clear his throat in an attempt to hurry this along.
"Ahh yes, as for your question, were that to happen, my biggest regret would be that I was unable to further cement my legacy as the single greatest entertainment professional to have ever walked God's green Earth. It would truly be a shame."
"Alan, we appear to have gotten a question asked via the UGWC website. It is from SteveOwnsYou@AOL.com, and reads 'Should Disney reinstate James Gunn?'"
"Who is James Gunn?"
A late-twenties individual near the back of the crowd yells out.
"Dude! He's the director of the Guardians of the Galaxy films!"
"And why was he fired?"
"Apparently because a few years back, he made some ill-advised tweets that have recently come back to light. The subject matter of those tweets are… bad."
Vain thinks for a moment, before turning and looking back to Simon.
"Freedom of speech doesn't constitute freedom from consequences. It sounds as if Mr. Gunn should have made better choices while on social media, but considering some of the manure that is tweeted by a certain member of Washington nowadays, I can't say that I'm surprised. Don't want blowback over something stupid that you've said? Don't go on record and say something stupid. It's quite simple, really."
"So you're saying he shouldn't be reinstated?"
"No, that is not what I'm saying. Personally, I don't care what they do, but I'm sure he has his fair share of supporters out there that are clamoring for him to return. To those people I say, if he hadn't been a complete moron, he wouldn't be going through this right now. His own actions put him where he currently resides, from the sound of it. As my grandmother used to say… he made his bed. Looks like it's time for him to lay in it."
"We have time for three more questions, ladies and gentlemen. Let's make them good, shall we. You, Sir."
Simon points to a guy standing directly beside a microphone. Sporting an 'Enemies of Reality' t-shirt, he smiles as he leans towards the mic."
"Say you win at Day of Reckoning, and can then pick a dream defense for both titles, but your opponents would have to be people from your history who are no longer active. Who would challenge for each title?"
"I almost didn't recognize you clean-shaven, Klaus. Good to see you again."
A buzz begins to grow amongst the crowd, but Vain halts it quickly.
"I kid, I kid. This young man obviously isn't Klaus vonKnorre, as he is too young, his eyes are too full of hope, and his essence doesn't smell of stale cigarettes and Nichole."
"Sweet Lord…"
"As for your question young man, I'd love to put either title on the line against Taurus Capone, as it would allow me yet another opportunity to prove that he was never in the same league as me. For the other match, likely a triple threat involving both Holden 'Don't Call Me The Mainstreamer' Orson, and the aforementioned Klaus vonKnorre. Reason being, it would allow them yet another opportunity of being embarrassed in front of the world by 'Yours Truly', and I'd get the opportunity to retire both of them again. Next question, please."
"If you don't mind, Alan, I would like to ask a question of you, if I could."
"Of course, Simon. Of everyone here, I understand that you are likely my biggest fan. Of course you can ask me a question."
"Once Day of Reckoning is in the books and you have become the new UGWC World and UGWC Cross-Hemisphere Champions, which four-man Outlast team would concern you the most?"
Vain chuckles, wagging his finger at Simon.
"Clever, Simon. You have asked this question numerous times over the last couple of years, and I have always ignored it, so kudos to you for putting me on the spot."
"You're welcome."
"Hey! That's my line!"
The crowd erupts in laughter, as Simon laughs along with them. Vain shoves his seat back, leaning back and placing his feet on the table in front of him.
"The wrestling industry is filled with talent right now, you and I both know that. Quite a bit of that talent has, at some point, found themselves within UGWC, whether by competing full-time, or as one-off appearances. The issue is, there is nobody currently employed by UGWC that I either haven't beaten, or wouldn't beat, given the opportunity. Plus, I've already gone into Outlast as the World Champion, and won the match to retain my title. So unless 'Multiplicity' comes to life and there is a team of four Vain's in the running, I can honestly say that no team truly worries me."
"I should have known… alright folks, one last question, as we are out of time!"
Everyone's hand shoots up, causing Simon to roll his eyes. He settles on a guy in the front row.
"You, Sir… what is your question?"
"Yeah, my name is Brandon, and I have what might be the hardest-hitting question of the session. Do you think you are ready for it, Vain?"
Alan laughs a hearty laugh, before motioning towards the man in front of the microphone.
"By all means, Brandon… do your worst."
"Works for me… I was wondering if you still have nightmares about hurricanes chasing after you, as they gently topple over plastic lawn furniture, and leave shoddy destruction in their wake?"
The smile on Vain's face immediately disappears, and he lowers his head. Concerned, Simon walks over towards his client, saying something to him off microphone. Alan slowly rises to his feet, his hands placed on the table as he leans forward. Finally, he pushes himself fully upright, and after a few silent moments, raises his head to look at the person who goes by the name of Brandon. Somberly, Alan wipes a solitary tear from the corner of his eye. Softly, he only utters one word.
"Always."
Vain turns and walks off the stage, followed closely by Simon Wellington. The crowd boos Brandon, as they realize the Q&A session is apparently over. Pseudo-Vain then walks up onto the stage, carrying with him what looks like large, blown-up pictures. Standing in the center of the stage, he proceeds to hold them up, one after the other.
=====================
Monday, August 20, 2018 - St. Paul, Minnesota: Xcel Energy Center - Moments before the Main Event
The camera flickers to life, showing a close-up shot of a very determined looking Alan Wallace. He speaks, slowly, and softly.
"We are but mere moments away from you witnessing history here tonight. No, not Zane Scott becoming a dual double champion, or whatever it is that he brags about on Twitter. And no, not either Maggie Lockheart or Lucy Wylde cementing themselves as the greatest female entertainment professional in the industry today. No, the history that I speak of, is 'Vain' Alan Wallace once again placing himself back at the top of the pecking order here within UGWC."
"A place that I should have been all along."
"By no means is that an admission that neither Magdalena nor Lucy have done anything less than a stellar job at representing this great company as champions, because they have. So much so, that I have spoken glowingly about what they have brought to their respective championships, ever since they both won them."
"Yet all good things come to an end."
"While both Lucy and Maggie had earned invaluable praise amongst the legends of this business for their abilities within the ring, it has been the obnoxious circus outside of the ring that is now casting a dark shadow over all of the good that they had initially brought to their respective titles. And it's a fucking travesty."
"Ladies, let me be the first to go on record and say that nobody cares about any of the asinine drama occurring between Lucy and Maggie, outside of the two of you. Nobody cares when you're on good terms, flirting back and forth on social media like you're in the midst of a shitty romance novel. Nobody cares when you're on bad terms, each blaming the other for all of the shortcomings that each of you incur. Nobody cares, simply because the way the two of you have been acting, neither of you have been worth caring about."
"It's almost as if the two of you have chosen to subject yourself to insane amounts of ridicule and scorn, simply to make things more dramatic than they actually are, or they need to be. And if that is what the two of you need to do in order to make people care about you within this industry, or to help the two of you actually care about our industry, then taking your titles is the least that I can do, simply because you both obviously need time away in order to get your priorities straight."
"You can thank me for that at the end of the night."
"And that brings me to someone who knows me better than almost everyone else in this locker room, Zane Scott."
"Zane, the actions of the past few weeks haven't been anything personal, though even if they had been, I doubt you'd have even noticed. No disrespect intended, because regardless of what has occurred the last few weeks, you actually are one of the very limited few whom I do have respect for in this industry. But that doesn't mean I won't do whatever it takes to walk out of this place as the World and C-H Champions. Even if that means that I have to step over you in the process."
"Because while you have been busy looking back at what you accomplished in becoming the alleged only triple-champion in UGWC history, I've been busy looking ahead to becoming the best that this company has to offer. While you have been busy creating various hashtags in an attempt to get your amount of followers up, I've been busy planning on what I will do to make these two titles actually mean something again."
"You're content to live in the past, with hopes to become what you've already been… while I've detested where I have been, with plans to be even better than I've already proven to be. And that's the biggest difference between the two of us, Zane…
"You're content to talk about what it is that you hope to do. I'm just going to go out and do it."
"Our company deserves to have someone who puts its championships above all else."
"Our company deserves to have someone who is capable of ignoring everything else around them, all while putting the entire company on their back, and carrying it to the glory it truly deserves."
"Our company deserves better than Lucy Wylde. Our company deserves better than Magdalena Lockheart. And though it pains me to say, our company deserves better than Zane Scott."
"Our company deserves 'Vain' Alan Wallace."
"And in less than an hours' time… everyone affiliated with UGWC will finally get what they fucking deserve."
FIN
Vain had slowly gotten to his feet, not taking his eyes off of Zane Scott, who still sits perched atop the ladder in the center of the ring. A slight grin tugs at the corners of Vain's mouth, as he turns and slowly begins heading up the ramp. Stopping at the top of the stage, Vain looks back over his right shoulder, casting another glance at Zane, as 'The Personification of Pain' continues celebrating on the ladder. With a slight shake of the head, he turns and proceeds through the curtain.
There to greet him are two very different people; one whom he is happy to see, and one whom he couldn't care less about if he tried. Before Simon has a chance to say anything, Grey Coppi steps forward.
Coppi: "Vain, if I could have a moment, please?"
Wallace and Wellington share a look, before Alan turns his attention back to Grey. With Simon beginning to chuckle, Alan speaks.
"Of course, Grey! Anything for you, because as you well know, 'Vain' Alan Wallace lives to grant you any and all of your needs."
Coppi doesn't look amused, but he ignores the obvious attempt to grate his nerves by the man before him.
Coppi: "For all of the good fortune that you had in previous weeks, do you feel that what happened here tonight will have a detrimental effect on your chances at Day of Reckoning?"
Wallace simply looks at him, his mouth slightly agape, and his head tilted slightly to the side. Off to the side, Simon Wellington leans against the wall, crossing his arms over his chest, a look of amusement forming on his face. Thirty seconds of silence go by, with Vain's expression never changing. Coppi decides to repeat the question.
Coppi: "Vain, everyone saw what happened tonight. For all the fortune that you had in previous weeks, do you feel that what happened here ton-"
Wallace holds up his finger, Coppi breaking off in mid-sentence.
"I heard you the first time, Coppi."
Coppi: "Pardon me, Vain, but I wasn't sure if I had articulated the question properly enough. You seemed confused by my choice of words."
Vain bursts out laughing, as does Simon. Coppi stands there stoically, looking across at both of the men before him. A look of annoyance from Coppi, as the laughter from Vain grows to the point where he begins holding his side, doubling over at the waist. Righting himself, he wipes an unseen tear from the corner of his eye, before he looks back at Coppi.
"Whew! You know Coppi, you are much funnier than people give you credit for. You're truly a riot!"
Simon speaks up.
"He does seem to have a knack for the comical every now and again."
Coppi's brow furrows, his look a mixture of anger and dismay.
Coppi: "I wasn't attempting to be funny."
Vain's eyebrows raise, the look on his face one of genuine surprise.
"Seriously? Are you sure?"
Coppi: "No, Mr. Wallace. I was not."
"So… you meant to come off like an idiot then? And here I thought you were supposed to be a professional."
Coppi: "Excuse you. I am far from being an idiot, Vain."
"Could have fooled me."
"I hold two doctorates, and I'm even confused."
Coppi: "Before this spirals completely out of control like your interviews have a tendency to do, Mr. Wallace, do you have anything at all to say regarding what happened here tonight?"
Wallace scratches at his temple, appearing deep in thought. Finally, he nods.
"Actually, I do. I noticed that Zane Scott was still on top of that ladder as I walked back through the curtain. Someone might want to go help him down. I've heard he's afraid of heights, so he may have bitten off more than he can chew here tonight. It would be a shame if he were to fall from that ladder and be rendered unable to even make the match at Day of Reckoning, simply because he allowed himself to get caught up in the moment of attempting to show me up."
Coppi: "I think Zane Scott will be perfectly fine, Vain."
"I hope so. I wouldn't want him to have any excuses when I win the World and Cross-Hemisphere Titles, and he leaves St. Paul disappointed."
Coppi: "You seem awfully sure for a man who was left lying out on the floor here tonight."
"And why shouldn't I be sure of myself, Coppi? The last three weeks, I beat each of the entertainment professionals that will oppose me at the Xcel Energy Center. Why would I allow myself to feel any sort of doubt, based solely off of a clusterfuck of a match that was thrown out before it ever truly began?"
Coppi: "If I'm not mistaken Vain, it was you that first introduced the chair that led to the match being thrown out in the first place."
A look of astonishment on the face of 'The Vain One'.
"I'll be damned, Grey… you do watch the shows. Congratulations."
Coppi: "And once again, you fail to provide insight on the statement made."
"When did you turn into such a miserable human being, Coppi? So I brought a chair into the ring… big deal. It's not something all four of us won't have to deal with in a week's time anyway, so I figured why not begin the festivities early. It was done solely to help prepare the other three for the Fatal Four Way. Honest."
Vain begins to smile, as he holds up his right hand. Coppi is not amused.
Coppi: "Well from this reporters point of view, all three of them appeared to be more than ready here tonight. And if the same holds true next week, it might be you that goes home disappointed, Vain."
The smile slowly fades from Vain's face, as Simon walks up beside of him.
"Come on, Alan. We need to leave for Miami soon."
Vain motions for Simon to hold on a moment, before turning his attention back to Grey Coppi.
"You're right, Grey. All three gave me their best shot here tonight. All three proved that when it comes to being in a match with 'Yours Truly', that they are more than capable of performing at a high level… at least when there's nothing on the line, anyway. So I suppose congratulations are in order for each of them, for the moral victories they gained here tonight. I hope that is sufficient for all of them, truly… because moral victories are all they can hope for next week, when I walk out of Minnesota with both championships, one draped over each of my perfectly-sculpted shoulders."
Wallace steps forward, staring down at the reporter in an attempt to intimidate him, before breaking into a grin as he straightens Coppi's tie.
"Top-notch work as always, Grey. The pleasure is yours, I'm sure."
With that, Wallace and Wellington head down the corridor, turning the corner and heading towards 'The Vain One's' locker room. Walking in, Vain heads to the mini fridge, while Simon shuts the door. Leaning against the wall, Simon speaks up.
"He was right concerning one thing, Alan. If the three of them somehow manage to all hit their finishers on you again next week, you're going to have a tall mountain to climb to bring home those championships."
Wallace takes a gulp from the water bottle, screwing the cap back on once he's finished. Placing the bottle on the table, he takes a seat on the sofa.
"It's quite the possibility, Simon. Then again, I might have been playing a bit of an opossum out there tonight."
Simon looks at him questioningly, but says nothing. He doesn't have to… the look on Alan's face shows he already knows what Simon is going to say.
"Don't get me wrong… all three of them caught me, that much is true… but do you honestly think it was enough to leave me lying for as long as I was on the floor? Do you not know me at all?"
Alan only allows the question to hang in the air for a moment.
"I know how Mr. Scott is, Simon. I know how he can get when he sees his own blood. And I also know that once he gets going, he won't stop until everyone around him is left immobile. Case in point… Ms. Wylde and Ms. Lockheart are likely still being pulled from the remnants of that ladder and that table. Now tell me Simon, why would I willingly put myself once more in harm's way in that scenario?"
Simon smiles as he walks over and takes a seat across from Alan.
"Even after all this time, I still marvel at how your brain works, Alan."
"You can't be successful in this industry for as long as I have, without the ability to adapt at a moment's notice. Which is why, even though in Coppi's eyes I was the one on the short end of the proverbial stick here tonight, I will be the most healthy heading into Day of Reckoning. The events of tonight with regards to 'Yours Truly'? I'll take a few Tylenol and be as good as new in the morning. That is a hell of a lot better than I can say for either Zane, Lucy, or Maggie."
Vain picks up his bottle, unscrewing the cap and taking another drink. Both he and Simon sit silently for a moment, before Simon again speaks up.
"You do realize though, that with none of them going into next week one-hundred percent healthy, they all have a ready-made excuse for why they will walk out of St. Paul empty-handed."
Vain smiles as he rises to his feet.
"Then they will prove themselves to be just like everyone else when it comes to falling victim to 'Vain' Alan Wallace. It's irrelevant, however, because in proving that I am once again the best that this industry has to offer… I'll be too busy to care what their excuses are."
Alan clasps Simon on the shoulder, and then grabs his bag and disappears around the corner, likely heading to the shower area. Simon grins from ear to ear, as he whispers to himself.
"I hope they're ready, because I know he is…"
=====================
Saturday, August 18, 2018 - New Orleans, Louisiana: New Orleans City Park
"I must say Alan, when you called earlier in the week and told me that you had been contacted about a special event being held in your honor, I never expected something like this."
Simon Wellington and Alan Wallace are shown seated on opposite sides of a picnic table, shaded by the pavilion that the table resides underneath. Simon has his back to the camera, as it focuses squarely on the face of 'Mr. Ego'. Wallace smiles as his eyes dart back and forth at the events taking place before him; events currently unseen by the camera.
"Nor did I, my friend. Spectacular, is it not?"
"Spectacular, yes. Ill-timed as well, in my opinion."
The grin on his face slightly falters, as he ceases taking in everything before him, and settles on the face of his advocate.
"Ill-timed? How can anything be 'ill-timed', when it's done to please the millions of Vaniac's worldwide?"
"Alan, in a mere two days, you will be involved in the single most important match that you've had in at least the last two years. It is a match that will either validate you within the wrestling industry, or a match that will ultimately prove your detractors correct. It is a match that needs your sole focus, and yet, it isn't receiving it. And I do not want something like this to be the culminating factor in 'Vain' Alan Wallace coming up short in a match that he is more than capable of not only winning, but dominating. That is how this… extravaganza… is considered 'ill-timed', in my humble opinion."
"Your opinion is dually noted, Simon. I appreciate the honesty. However, what's done is done, so we might as well enjoy ourselves."
"Or we could just leave?"
Vain appears more than offended at this remark from his advocate and friend, to the point where it renders him momentarily speechless. He takes a moment to gather his thoughts, taking a sip of the VEEN water that is in front of him, yet not taking his eyes off of Simon. Wellington begins shifting in his seat, realizing the awkward position his words have put him in.
"Alan, all I-"
"Just leave? Your advice is for us to just leave? It's like I don't even know you sometimes, Simon."
"All I'm saying is-"
"You do realize that the reason we are here in New Orleans, is because each time that I've been involved in a show at New Orleans City Park, that my match has been the highest rated of the entire event, right? That my merchandise sales have obliterated all others it has been in competition with, every single time? That 'Vain' Alan Wallace is the single-most talked about person within not only the industry, but the entire state of Louisiana, each and every time that he steps foot onto these grounds? And your advice is for us to just leave? To gather our things, and walk out on all of the people that worked so hard to put this together; to walk out on the tens-of-thousands of people who have paid their hard-earned money to be here, in honor of me; to walk out on the millions more that will be watching online, no doubt while wearing all of the Vain apparel that they've accumulated over the duration of my legendary career? And you just want us to leave? Shame on you, Simon Wellington."
An audible sigh is heard from Simon.
"The event itself isn't the problem, Alan. If a city wants to honor someone within the industry in this manner, then the name at the top of that list is obviously going to be 'Vain' Alan Wallace. That's a given. I just question why it's being held now. That's all."
"What better time than right before I win the most talked about match in recent memory? Do you realize how important this event will be to all of the little people that have chosen to be here today, as it provides them the opportunity to be able to tell all of their friends that they were granted the luxury of being near the single greatest entertainment professional of all time, a mere two days before he solidified that fact with his Herculean effort at Day of Reckoning, when he ultimately become both the UGWC World and UGWC Cross-Hemisphere Champions? Can you image how much joy that will bring to the lives of all of those people, Simon? To be able to walk this close to their god, a mere two days before he turns water into wine, yet again?"
"And what I witnessed when I walked the grounds earlier will provide them that luxury, Alan?"
"Most definitely."
Simon nods, as he leans forward.
"And this… spectacle… who was in charge of planning the 'attractions'?"
A sheepish smile appears on the face of Alan Wallace, as he half-shrugs.
"I might have had a hand in helping plan the festivities. Who better than Alan Wallace, to help decide what fans of Alan Wallace want to experience?"
"Well, you are your own biggest fan, Alan. I'll concede that point."
"Why thank you, Simon. You're too kind."
Wallace rises from his seat, as does Simon. Alan walks around to where Simon now stands, Simon turning and looking out towards the camera, both men taking in all of the festivities that are still unseen to the camera.
"Shall we?"
Simon says nothing, instead preferring to motion for Alan to lead the way, a slight side-to-side shake of the head as he follows in step behind 'Vanity at its Finest'.
~~~
Vain-Con 2018
The two men walk slowly through the grounds, taking in everything around then. Surprisingly, they are not being mobbed by the masses. Meaning Vain. Nobody really cares much about Simon. As they go, the two men hold a conversation.
"I'm surprised that we aren't finding ourselves in the middle of a mass of screaming humanity. And yet, you do not seem surprised. Why is that, Alan?"
With a chuckle, Vain answers the remark, as the two men continue on their way, towards the middle of the park.
"As much as I absolutely adore the screaming public Simon, as you yourself said on multiple occasions, I have a very important match in just two days. As such, I knew that I needed to take every precaution possible, to ensure that I didn't suffer any unfortunate injuries due to how chaotic my legion of fans can be."
"Meaning?
"I hired a proxy."
"You… what?"
Simon stops in his tracks, Vain doing the same. Simon turns and looks at Vain, who predictably, smiles at him.
"You… hired a proxy? What does that even mean?"
"It's quite simple, really. There are times where I find some tasks to be too menial to waste my precious time. Let's face it, Simon… some things are beneath a person of my stature. As such, for those tasks and times, I have hired someone to preform them for me."
"I… I don't understand."
"I hired someone that looks like me, although he's not nearly as pretty, because come on, how could he be? Any who… he is tasked to dress in exactly what it is that I am dressed in, and he has dedicated himself to perfecting all of my mannerisms and motions. Quite honestly, unless one is equipped with the eyes of a hawk, they'll never know the difference."
"And this… proxy… has already made his way through?"
"Indeed he has, Simon. While we were chatting under the pavilion. It was quite amazing to see, if I must say. I now understand what it must feel like for mere mortals to watch as 'Yours Truly' makes appearances, and is immersed in a sea of humanity as all those around mob him at every turn. Was quite eye opening, if I must say."
The two men once again begin making their way through the grounds, with Vain pointing off in the distance, to what looks to be the main stage that is set up for this event.
"By the looks of things, it appears as if my proxy has arrived at the Q&A Table that has been set up. We will need to make our way up there within the next thirty minutes."
"What happens if he attempts to answer questions as 'Vain' Alan Wallace?"
"Won't happen, Simon. That young man has been employed by me long enough to know what is acceptable, and what is not. And he is loyal, much like you. And Vain rewards loyalty."
"How long have you employed him?"
Vain thinks for a moment, as the two come to a stop an what looks to be an empty concession area.
"Five years or so, give or take."
Simon is shocked to the point of silence, eliciting a chuckle from Wallace.
"I know, I know. Trust me, I was hoping that he could make his public debut long before now. Unfortunately, mere weeks before he was scheduled to appear in a match in my stead, a supposed A-Lister up North hired some idiotic stunt double, and it forced me to make a change of plans. Because I'll be damned if I will allow fans to think that I am falling in line with someone like that… no matter how 'awesome' he mistakenly thinks he is."
"So you were looking to have your proxy wrestle for you back then?"
"Of course, Simon. I mean, nobody wants to wrestle people like Jordan King and Dave Rydell."
"Touché. So then tell me, why now, for him to make his debut?"
"You mean here, in New Orleans? Honestly, there couldn't have been a more perfect place for him to make his debut. He has had people ripping and clawing at him ever since he arrived here this morning, I'm sure. I can't imagine the horror. I mean… we are in Louisiana, Simon."
Simon motions towards the empty concession area.
"What happened here?"
Turning towards what Simon is pointing towards, Vain turns back around, sadness in his eyes.
"That was to be a VEEN water concession area. Actually, there were to be approximately ten or twelve of them throughout the park. Unfortunately it failed to come to fruition. Apparently there was a shortage here in the States, due to a revised order that was placed by a very special consumer, and there simply wasn't the supply of VEEN that there needed to be, in order to sustain this event. Instead, the masses are relegated to drinking… Deer Park."
A visible shudder from Alan, as a look of realization forms on the face of his cohort.
"Wait… wasn't it you that sent in a revised order for additional pallets of VEEN?"
"Yes. Your point?"
"Well, couldn't you have offered to provide some for this event which is being held in your honor?"
"Why would I do that?"
The look on Vain's face shows that he is as serious as he could be in asking that question, causing Simon to slightly pause before replying.
"I… well, I was just going to suggest possibly gifting some of your supply to all those who came out to see you here today, Alan. As a show of appreciation."
"That would be even worse than Cynric's penchant for leaving them sit out at room temperature. Bite your tongue, Wellington!"
Wallace continues through the grounds, with Simon following behind him. Wallace provides commentary on what they are passing by as they go.
"That make-shift building to our right is the 'Hall of Vanity'. It contains a myriad of still photos and other memorabilia, which all commemorates the greatness that 'Yours Truly' has brought to our great industry over the last decade. Each and every item in that building will likely find its way to the UGWC Hall of Fame at some point, and rightly so. For each and every photograph and piece of memorabilia in that building, at various points in time, have served as inspiration to all of those that I have come in contact with over the years, pushing them to achieve their own levels of success. Donated by 'Yours Truly', because I care."
"Anything that might be of surprise?"
"Outside of the twelve-inch 'Vain' Alan Wallace action figure that Zane Scott sleeps with for good luck, no, nothing in particular."
Simon attempts to retort, but Vain interrupts him before he can even begin.
"And I know, I know… I shouldn't have paid someone to let themselves into Zane's place without his permission, but let's face it… him having an action figure of 'Vanity at its Finest' this close to the biggest match of his career could possibly give him an unfair advantage over Maggie, Lucy, and myself. And you know me, Simon… I'm nothing if not a man of fairness and respectability. As such, once Day of Reckoning is over, I will gladly send what is surely Zane's most prized possession back to him. Possibly with a note of thanks from the new World and Cross-Hemisphere Champions. Because I'm a giver like that, Simon."
The two men continue on their way, with Simon pointing over towards a small booth with 'Police Line Do Not Cross' tape all around it.
"Care to explain that?"
Vain rolls his eyes.
"One of the women that was helping put this event together thought that it would be a good idea to have can best be described as a 'Vain Look-a-Like' booth. Apparently, with how she described it anyhow, it would have been for those that decided to dress up as 'Yours Truly' for the event, and they would be all judged by fan reaction as to who won."
"Cosplayers."
"What?"
"The people that dressed as you for this event… they're called cosplayers, I believe. People do the same for events such as Comic-Con."
Vain stops, turning and looking at Simon in disgust.
"Figures you'd be a comic fan."
Vain turns and begins walking again, with Simon doing the same.
"Either way, I deemed that it would be physically impossible for anyone to truly look as good as 'Vain' Alan Wallace, so I had that portion of the event shut down."
"But police tape, Alan? Really??"
"It was fitting, Simon, because for anyone to purposely attempt to pass themselves off as 'Vain' Alan Wallace - and ultimately come up completely short in that endeavor because it's an impossibility - it should be a freaking crime."
"And your proxy?"
"The lone exception, Simon."
The two walk in silence for a few moments, the sound of song coming from off in the distance. Simon's ears perk up.
"Do my ears deceive me?"
Vain says nothing, simply smiling, as they continue on in the direction the music is coming from.
There was a great man named Vain
Who viewed extreme failure with pain
So all he does is win
Much to your chagrin
He's much stronger and smarter than Bane
"Sounds like someone else is a comic fan."
"Well you've seen the company that he keeps. Are you surprised?"
The two continue on, finally happening upon another pavilion. At the center of this one sits a large table, with a computer monitor resting on top, gameplay from the new UGWC2K19 wrestling game appearing on it. To the right, sitting on top of a picnic table, is the source of the songs being heard.
You lose once again to His Ego
He has your number, amigo
You should just cut your losses
And tend to your hosses
Shall I get for you a Lexapro
Vain and Simon both walk up to the man on the table, who looks up and smiles.
"It's a pleasure to see you again, Chauncey."
"And you, my Lord", comes the response from the noble Bard, as he proceeds to play his lute.
"Judging from your lyrics, I assume our valiant Crusader is having difficulties?"
Chauncey ceases playing for a moment, providing an uneasy smile as he glances over at Cynric. Saying nothing, he returns to his music, as both Alan and Simon smile, before turning their attention to the man in the gaming chair.
"Dear Crusader, t'is a pleasure to see you out and about!"
"'T'was my pleasure, oh charming, yet nefarious prince… until I was forsaken by the 2K19 of UGWC. Thine game is, indeed, of a broken nature."
"Are you sure it isn't just due to you not being very good at it, Cynric?"
Our Dear Crusader flings his chair backwards, jumping to his feet in an animated fashion, as he turns his attention towards Vain's advocate.
"Nay, Master of Scholarly Ineptitude, for it is not a problem with mine Crusade, but a problem with thine Quest Giver of the 2K19 realm!"
"The… Quest Giver, Cynric?"
"Aye, ye nefarious one. Thine mode of mine career is of a broken nature."
"That's impossible."
Cynric raises his right hand, slowly taking his glove off, before proceeding to slap Simon across the face with it. Saying nothing, he then returns the glove to his hand, and diverts his attention back to a chuckling Wallace.
"Thou Quest Giver only allows the mode of career to be taken by our charming, yet nefarious prince. Each attempt at partaking such quest causes the realm to glitch, forever returning to the charming one. Worse still, victory shall always be his… even when mine hands offered no control of the activities."
"Well, that's interesting. On the bright side Cynric, at least you'll never have the misfortune of losing."
The sudden realization of what Vain is saying hits Cynric like a ton of bricks, his demeanor turning forlorn. Gathering his things, he motions for Chauncey.
"Alas, you are most correct, dear prince. Thine Quest Giver has truly taken all strategy from mine crusade. Thus, I shall return to the Estates of Wallace and Worth, where I shall begin anew mine journey through the land of Azeroth. For the Horde!"
The two men make their way towards the East end of the grounds, towards what appears to be a horse. Alan and Simon watch as Cynric takes off running towards the object, falling to his knees and wailing.
"MINE MARE! SHE IS BUT MADE OF STONE! COME CHAUNCEY, FOR WE SHALL SLAY THOU WHO WOULD DARE!"
Cynric takes off running towards the entrance gate, Chauncey struggling to keep up with him. Back under the pavilion, Simon turns to Alan.
"What did you do, Alan?"
Vain turns to him and smiles.
"I merely saw to it that nobody would have the misfortune of stepping in horse excrement, Simon. That's all."
"And where is Henrietta now?"
Vain shrugs his shoulders as he turns and begins walking towards the main stage area.
"It's inconsequential, Simon, for I have more important matters to attend."
~
As Alan and Simon ascend the steps that lead up to the stage area, a murmur goes up through the crowd. The sea of humanity first look to the Vain walking up onto the stage, and then over to the Vain that has been seated before them in silence for the last half-an-hour. Everyone in attendance does multiple takes, as the two Vain's shake hands, and the proxy exits stage right. As Simon takes a seat, Wallace steps out towards the edge of the stage, placing his hands in his pants pockets, as he smile out at his adoring public.
"Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen! And welcome to the Vain-Con 2018 Panel Forum!"
There is polite applause, as most are still attempting to figure out what is actually going on. A man who looks to be in his mid-twenties speaks up.
"Dude, what the hell? Why are there two Vain's?"
"Oh, you're referring to my proxy? That's Glenn. Nice guy, right?"
Another member of the crowd, this one a most likely barely legal teen female, speaks up.
"You mean, like, we paid good money to come here to see you and stuff, and it, like, hasn't even been you that we've been fawning all over and stuff? That's, like, totally fucked up and stuff!"
Agreement is heard from many others in attendance, as Vain motions for them to calm down.
"For starters my dear, once you're legal to consume alcohol, you be sure to contact 'Yours Truly'. I'm still looking to fill out my harem, since Mr. Ingalls deemed himself a failure in that endeavor, and I have a feeling you would be a perfect addition. Secondly, you and I both know that you didn't pay good money for anything. More than likely you charged your parents Visa, and they will know about this trip once they receive their bill in the mail. And thirdly, when you are as in demand as Alan Wallace is, you sometimes have to make arrangements to appease all those who adore you, and sacrifices unfortunately have to be made."
Another murmur from the crowd, that Vain allows, before continuing.
"The important thing is that I am here now. And with everything that all of you have been privy to see over the last two days, you have more than gotten your monies worth. You're welcome."
Vain smiles, and then turns and steps around to the backside of the table. Motioning to Simon, Alan takes a seat, as Simon rises from his, a microphone in hand.
"Ladies and Gentlemen, 'Vain' Alan Wallace thanks all of you for showing up for the first-ever Vain-Con event. And he would be remiss if he did not mention the area off to our right, butted against the edge of the park, which is entitled 'The Platinum Experience'. Now the main area consists of dozens of platinum-made, life-sized statues of your favorite hero, created in various poses that Vain has perfected over the years in this industry. And he has brought you this gloriousness for free, out of the goodness of his heart."
Vain looks up from the index card that he holds in his hand, casting a look over towards his client. Smiling, Vain motions for him to continue, eliciting a disbelieving shake of the head from 'The Scholar'.
"He also would like everyone to know that there is also a VIP section, where for a one-time cost of 99.99, you will receive a VIP pass that will allow you access to his 'private' collection. And while I cannot in good conscience describe what can be found in this 'private' collection, I have it on good authority that dozens of women - as well as quite a few men - have already been carried out of the park area, and taken to a local medical facility, due to the sheer amount of swooning and ecstasy that Vain's 'private' collection caused them."
Simon sighs as he places the index card back in his pocket, looking back up in time to see upwards of fifty additional people - women and men alike - running towards the building that contains 'The Platinum Experience'. As many others in the crowd contemplate doing the same, Simon speaks up once more.
"For those of you still here, I know that you are eagerly awaiting the question and answer session scheduled. Unfortunately, we only have a certain allotment of time, so while we will do our best to get to as many questions as possible, please know that any additional questions that you have for Alan Wallace can be forwarded to him at a later date, care of the UGWC website. So, who has the first question for Alan Wallace?"
Simon gazes out at the sea of arms that are raised in the air, finally settling on a short, portly man, with greying hair.
"You, Sir… please headed to the nearest microphone stand so that you may ask the question that you have for Alan Wallace."
The smile is firmly entrenched on the face of Alan Wallace, as he awaits the elderly man to get to the microphone. He finally does.
"Hello Mr. Wallace, my name is Charles, and I've been a huge fan of yours ever since you first started with Headstrong Wrestling."
"Good afternoon, Charles."
Being acknowledged by his hero leaves the man speechless for a moment, his grin completely overtaking his face. Getting a grip on himself, he finally continues.
"I've always known you to be the best wrestler I've ever had the pleasure of seeing, but many others over the last couple of years have somewhat written you off. My question is, with the recent run of success that you've had over the last month involving matches with your opponents at Day of Reckoning, what do you feel when you think of how some people talked about your missteps prior to that? Is there a smugness there, because you've always known that you were better than those who have been dismissive of you? Or do you feel vindicated in a way?"
Vain looks surprised at the question.
"Quite an in depth question from the very beginning. Vain likes your style… Charles, was it?"
The man nods his head in the affirmative.
"Great. As I was saying, excellent question, Charles. And if I am being completely honest, other people's views of 'Vain' Alan Wallace aren't worth me worrying about. I realize that there are going to be certain individuals who are going to hate on everything that I do, and everything that I am. Whether I win every match I'm put in, or I become a perennial jobber used only to enhance other talent, there will be a certain segment of the population that all out hates 'Yours Truly'. And I'm fine with that… my shoulders are plenty big enough to carry the weight of it. Because truth be told, the only opinions I put any stock into are those of Celeste, Simon, and myself. Nobody else matters. No offense."
Laughter comes from many in the crowd, as Vain shifts in his seat. Taking a drink of water, he places the bottle back onto the table, before looking back out to Charles.
"But to answer your question, I guess I've been slightly vindicated in a way. Vindicated in my own eyes, that is. I knew I had the talent to get back to the highest of levels. All I had to do was get out of my own way. With my personal beefs all but settled, the last few weeks I have been able to completely focus on what is best for my professional life. And in two days' time, my vindication will be on display for all to see, as I celebrate become the World and C-H Champs, yet again. It's been far too long."
Charles makes his way back to his spot in the crowd, as thousands of hands again go into the air. Simon points to a diminutive blonde near the front.
"Yes, my dear… please find the nearest microphone so that you may ask your question."
Unable to contain her excitement, the pretty little blonde almost bounces to the nearest microphone.
"O-M-G! You're Alan Wallace! I'm Bella, and I'm a huuuuuuuuuuuuugeeeeeeeeeeeeee fan of yours. And I actually have two questions."
"It is my pleasure to meet you, Bella. Please, ask away."
"So my first question is, how do I apply to become a member of your harem. I would sooooooooooo do a totally great job at that!"
"I have no doubt that you would, Bella. Tell ya what, once we are finished here, come find me and we can discuss it."
"Candace is gonna be soooooooooooo jealous, but I told that bitch to come. It's her loss. Anyway, my second question… if you become a double champion-"
Vain clears his throat, causing Bella to stop mid-sentence. With a smile, Vain leans closer to his microphone.
"I'm sorry, but if? Oh Bella, you are not off to a good start in this interview process for inclusion into 'The Vain Harem'."
The beauty looks mortified.
"I'm sooooooooooooooo sorry. It was a complete slip of the tongue, I swear! When you become a double champion, how will your reign mean more than Zane's historical triple champion reign?"
Vain leans back in his seat, momentarily sucking his teeth, as he glares at the buxom blonde before him. He attempts to put a smile on his face, but everyone can tell that he doesn't care for the question. Leaning forward, he speaks.
"Zane Scott has done a great deal for this industry, not just UGWC. He has won titles everywhere that he has gone, and for UGWC, he has proven to be one of the more reliable superstars of the last decade. With that said…"
Wallace closes his eyes, cracking his neck, as he inhales deeply. Upon opening his eyes again, his glare seems full of detest.
"I am so sick and fucking tired of hearing about this supposed 'historic' triple championship reign that Mr. Scott has prattled on incessantly about every time a microphone is in his face, or any time he finds his way to social media and adds hashtags like an attention-starved pre-teen female. Because it isn't the first triple championship reign that has occurred within this company. I did it first!"
Bella slowly backs away from the microphone, on the verge of tears, as the eyes of Vain seemingly bore a hole into her very soul.
"Everyone seems to have forgotten that at one time, 'Yours Truly' held one-half of the Cooperative Titles… was the reigning Cross-Hemisphere Champion… and was also the true, rightful, final holder of the HSW World Championship. All simultaneously. And all successfully defended at Horizons 2014. Now some in this company do not recognize the HSW Title as an active title within UGWC at that time, which is highly humorous to 'The Vain One' considering I put it on the line along with the Cooperative and C-H Titles during that Run of the Mill match, and was the one that came out victorious. Which, to me, means that it was a sanctioned title for the company… but acknowledging that title apparently doesn't fit the narrative that both Zane and Donovan are attempting to write, because acknowledging that fact puts 'Vain' Alan Wallace in a class all of his own, with Zane Scott following in my footsteps just like he attempted to do when we were in 'The Syndicate'."
Vain rises to his feet, yanking the microphone off of its stand, and walking around the table.
"Might I also remind everyone here, and everyone watching around the world, that soon thereafter, I beat Klaus vonKnorre to become the new UGWC World Champion. To gain that opportunity, I had to willingly relinquish - not LOSE - willingly relinquish the Cross-Hemisphere Championship, because while 'The Consortium' knew that it was only a matter of time before I became the World Champ, they also knew there wasn't a wrestler in the company that stood a chance of taking the Cross-Hemisphere Title off of me. So seeing as how Mr. Scott likes throwing hashtags around, maybe he should try this one on for size: #VainWouldHaveBeentheOnlyQuadrupleChampioninHistorybutHadtoRelinquishOneofTheminOrdertoFightforAnotherBecauseHeWasSimplyBetterThanEverybodyFuckingElseandEveryoneKnewIt."
Deeply exhaling, Vain turns and walks back around the table, retaking his seat, and then placing the microphone back on its stand.
"And Bella… you've proven that you don't have what it takes to be a member of my harem. Your request is denied. Simon, find me someone with a better question, please."
Only a few hands go up this time, most members of the audience worried about receiving the verbal tongue-lashing that poor Bella was unfortunate enough to bear the brunt of. Simon looks around for a moment before settling on a teenaged male with glasses. The teen makes his way to the nearest microphone.
"Vain, I'm a huge fan, and I have a question I've always wanted to ask you."
"Do you happen to have a name, son?"
"Oh, sorry. I'm Mordecai-"
"Good Lord, I am so sorry."
The laughter from all of those around him is lost on Mordecai, as he just continues on.
"Yeah, so I'm Mordecai, and I was wondering, if you had to put yourself and your Day of Reckoning opponents into different Hogwarts houses, which house would each of you be in and why?"
Vain turns his head, he and Simon sharing a look, as Simon shrugs his shoulders and mouths the words 'I have no idea' to him. Vain turns back towards the audience, looking at Mordecai in silence for more than a few awkward seconds. Finally, he begins searching for the words.
"I… well… so I didn't expect a question like that today. Wow… you've really thrown 'Mr. Ego' a curve ball, Mordecai. Kudos, because not many people catch Vain off-guard."
Vain shakes his head back and forth, unsure how to best answer the question, but decides to wing it anyway.
"Part of me would say that I would fit well as a Gryffindor, because I think I'm hilarious; I'm trusting to a fault, as the debacle between myself and Killian King can attest; and I can be quite stubborn at times. I'm also a very responsible individual, so that falls in line with House Gryffindor as well. The problem though is that the little I know about Gryffindor House, is that it's members tend to showcase their responsibility by having a strong tendency to own their mistakes. And as we all know, 'Vain' Alan Wallace simply doesn't make mistakes. Know who does tend to make a lot of mistakes? Our esteemed World Champion, Lucy Wylde."
Some 'oooh's and ahhh's' from the crowd, causing Vain to smile.
"Don't get me wrong, Lucy Wylde has done an admirable job of bringing respectability to the title as she holds it for me until Day of Reckoning, because she is a consummate professional. Personally though, she's been a walking nightmare. Marital troubles with CJ… whatever her drunken relationship is with JC, who just so happens to be a married man, mind you… the whole Gabriel Baal kidnapped her and handed her over to her father… now the issues with Magdalena Lockheart. And she takes no responsibility for any of it. Total Gryffindor actions, in my humble opinion, and not the type of person who should be our World Champion."
"Maybe I would fit in the Ravenclaw House. I share some of their more endearing qualities. I'm intelligent, creative, and honestly, wise beyond my years. And I am quite fond of having intellectual conversations, if only that could be more of an occurrence within UGWC. And I have been known to show emotion at times, though I would be remiss if I didn't mention the fact that Magdalena Lockheart totally wears her emotions on her sleeve, much to her very own detriment."
Murmurs of agreement from the crowd, as Vain leans back in his seat.
"Ms. Lockheart seems to be a fairly intelligent human being, which is why it amazes me so much that she allows her emotions to put her into bad situations. In a time where she should be focused on carrying the Cross-Hemisphere Title with dignity, and planning the way to win the World Title, she has allowed a moment of concern to completely turn her world upside-down, and became the very driving force in her attention being diverted onto something trivial and inconsequential. Which is not something that a true champion would allow to happen, ever. It's funny, because people have been known to say that Ravenclaws are great at what they are interested in, but need to have that interest. In Maggie's case, apparently the one thing that she has the most interest in, is living a life engulfed in total chaos… which she can focus completely on, once I relieve her of her Cross-Hemisphere Championship. You're welcome, Lucy."
"I could be a Hufflepuff. I mean, you won't find anyone more determined than I am, or more tenacious. Those who are on my good side know without question that they can rely on me for anything they need. And I'm loyal to those who deserve it. Then again, the same can be said of Zane Scott, and I think everyone here knows that he is loyal to a fault."
Nods of agreement from those in attendance, though there are a few people with quizzical looks on their faces. Vain takes notice of this immediately.
"Zane is loyal to Donovan, without question. Has been ever since they first became known collectively as 'Pain and Paradox'. The issue is, once Donovan became the Creative Director, he seemed to take great pleasure in putting Mr. Scott into precarious situations… situations that ultimately led to Mr. Scott being required to put the word 'former' before the phrases 'UGWC World Champion', 'UGWC Chaos Champion', and 'UGWC Cooperative Champion'. And yet Zane continued being loyal to Donovan, retrieving the same stick each and every time that Donovan through it and told him to go fetch. It's a damn shame too, because unleashed Zane is a Zane that I truly admire. This Zane has been put in a choker collar for far too long, and come Day of Reckoning, I'm going to be forced to put down the neutered Hufflepuff, even though it will pain me to do so."
"So I guess that means I'm House Slytherin. I'm ambitious, a perfectionist, and quite adept at using my intelligence as a tool in order to achieve my goals. And, as stated a few moments ago, I am highly selective when it comes to who I am loyal to."
"You also love positive attention, and tend to thrive on the praise heaped upon you."
Vain looks over at him questioningly.
"I decided to Google the subject while you were providing your answer. Tell me, Alan… how is it that you have come to know anything at all about the Harry Potter series?"
Vain chuckles.
"That's quite simple, Simon… Cynric has been on the grounds for an extended period of time. We discussed it one evening over virgin VEEN and vodkas."
"Ah yes, the good Crusader. I should have known."
"Cynric likes to say he's Gryffindor through and through, but in all reality, he's actually a Hufflepuff. He just refuses to accept it."
"Good for him. I don't care. Moving on to the next question…"
Simon looks through the crowd, as Mordecai makes his way back to the group he came with. Wellington points to an older lady, motioning for her to make her way to the nearest microphone.
"Yes ma'am, please approach the microphone and ask Vain your question."
"Hello, Mr. Wallace, my name is Betty, and I was wondering if our Savior Jesus Christ were to descend from Heaven moments after your hand would be raised in victory at Day of Reckoning, what would your biggest regret be?"
Vain appears genuinely taken pleased with the question.
"Good afternoon, Miss Betty. It's good of you to be here today. I have a good feeling about you, ma'am… you remind me of my grandmother."
"I'm sure that she is a wonderful lady, Mr. Wallace."
Vain smiles, this one a pure, genuine smile.
"She was indeed, ma'am. Unfortunately, she left us when I was only ten, but she left an indelible mark on me for sure."
The two of them smile at one another, causing Simon to clear his throat in an attempt to hurry this along.
"Ahh yes, as for your question, were that to happen, my biggest regret would be that I was unable to further cement my legacy as the single greatest entertainment professional to have ever walked God's green Earth. It would truly be a shame."
"Alan, we appear to have gotten a question asked via the UGWC website. It is from SteveOwnsYou@AOL.com, and reads 'Should Disney reinstate James Gunn?'"
"Who is James Gunn?"
A late-twenties individual near the back of the crowd yells out.
"Dude! He's the director of the Guardians of the Galaxy films!"
"And why was he fired?"
"Apparently because a few years back, he made some ill-advised tweets that have recently come back to light. The subject matter of those tweets are… bad."
Vain thinks for a moment, before turning and looking back to Simon.
"Freedom of speech doesn't constitute freedom from consequences. It sounds as if Mr. Gunn should have made better choices while on social media, but considering some of the manure that is tweeted by a certain member of Washington nowadays, I can't say that I'm surprised. Don't want blowback over something stupid that you've said? Don't go on record and say something stupid. It's quite simple, really."
"So you're saying he shouldn't be reinstated?"
"No, that is not what I'm saying. Personally, I don't care what they do, but I'm sure he has his fair share of supporters out there that are clamoring for him to return. To those people I say, if he hadn't been a complete moron, he wouldn't be going through this right now. His own actions put him where he currently resides, from the sound of it. As my grandmother used to say… he made his bed. Looks like it's time for him to lay in it."
"We have time for three more questions, ladies and gentlemen. Let's make them good, shall we. You, Sir."
Simon points to a guy standing directly beside a microphone. Sporting an 'Enemies of Reality' t-shirt, he smiles as he leans towards the mic."
"Say you win at Day of Reckoning, and can then pick a dream defense for both titles, but your opponents would have to be people from your history who are no longer active. Who would challenge for each title?"
"I almost didn't recognize you clean-shaven, Klaus. Good to see you again."
A buzz begins to grow amongst the crowd, but Vain halts it quickly.
"I kid, I kid. This young man obviously isn't Klaus vonKnorre, as he is too young, his eyes are too full of hope, and his essence doesn't smell of stale cigarettes and Nichole."
"Sweet Lord…"
"As for your question young man, I'd love to put either title on the line against Taurus Capone, as it would allow me yet another opportunity to prove that he was never in the same league as me. For the other match, likely a triple threat involving both Holden 'Don't Call Me The Mainstreamer' Orson, and the aforementioned Klaus vonKnorre. Reason being, it would allow them yet another opportunity of being embarrassed in front of the world by 'Yours Truly', and I'd get the opportunity to retire both of them again. Next question, please."
"If you don't mind, Alan, I would like to ask a question of you, if I could."
"Of course, Simon. Of everyone here, I understand that you are likely my biggest fan. Of course you can ask me a question."
"Once Day of Reckoning is in the books and you have become the new UGWC World and UGWC Cross-Hemisphere Champions, which four-man Outlast team would concern you the most?"
Vain chuckles, wagging his finger at Simon.
"Clever, Simon. You have asked this question numerous times over the last couple of years, and I have always ignored it, so kudos to you for putting me on the spot."
"You're welcome."
"Hey! That's my line!"
The crowd erupts in laughter, as Simon laughs along with them. Vain shoves his seat back, leaning back and placing his feet on the table in front of him.
"The wrestling industry is filled with talent right now, you and I both know that. Quite a bit of that talent has, at some point, found themselves within UGWC, whether by competing full-time, or as one-off appearances. The issue is, there is nobody currently employed by UGWC that I either haven't beaten, or wouldn't beat, given the opportunity. Plus, I've already gone into Outlast as the World Champion, and won the match to retain my title. So unless 'Multiplicity' comes to life and there is a team of four Vain's in the running, I can honestly say that no team truly worries me."
"I should have known… alright folks, one last question, as we are out of time!"
Everyone's hand shoots up, causing Simon to roll his eyes. He settles on a guy in the front row.
"You, Sir… what is your question?"
"Yeah, my name is Brandon, and I have what might be the hardest-hitting question of the session. Do you think you are ready for it, Vain?"
Alan laughs a hearty laugh, before motioning towards the man in front of the microphone.
"By all means, Brandon… do your worst."
"Works for me… I was wondering if you still have nightmares about hurricanes chasing after you, as they gently topple over plastic lawn furniture, and leave shoddy destruction in their wake?"
The smile on Vain's face immediately disappears, and he lowers his head. Concerned, Simon walks over towards his client, saying something to him off microphone. Alan slowly rises to his feet, his hands placed on the table as he leans forward. Finally, he pushes himself fully upright, and after a few silent moments, raises his head to look at the person who goes by the name of Brandon. Somberly, Alan wipes a solitary tear from the corner of his eye. Softly, he only utters one word.
"Always."
Vain turns and walks off the stage, followed closely by Simon Wellington. The crowd boos Brandon, as they realize the Q&A session is apparently over. Pseudo-Vain then walks up onto the stage, carrying with him what looks like large, blown-up pictures. Standing in the center of the stage, he proceeds to hold them up, one after the other.
=====================
Monday, August 20, 2018 - St. Paul, Minnesota: Xcel Energy Center - Moments before the Main Event
The camera flickers to life, showing a close-up shot of a very determined looking Alan Wallace. He speaks, slowly, and softly.
"We are but mere moments away from you witnessing history here tonight. No, not Zane Scott becoming a dual double champion, or whatever it is that he brags about on Twitter. And no, not either Maggie Lockheart or Lucy Wylde cementing themselves as the greatest female entertainment professional in the industry today. No, the history that I speak of, is 'Vain' Alan Wallace once again placing himself back at the top of the pecking order here within UGWC."
"A place that I should have been all along."
"By no means is that an admission that neither Magdalena nor Lucy have done anything less than a stellar job at representing this great company as champions, because they have. So much so, that I have spoken glowingly about what they have brought to their respective championships, ever since they both won them."
"Yet all good things come to an end."
"While both Lucy and Maggie had earned invaluable praise amongst the legends of this business for their abilities within the ring, it has been the obnoxious circus outside of the ring that is now casting a dark shadow over all of the good that they had initially brought to their respective titles. And it's a fucking travesty."
"Ladies, let me be the first to go on record and say that nobody cares about any of the asinine drama occurring between Lucy and Maggie, outside of the two of you. Nobody cares when you're on good terms, flirting back and forth on social media like you're in the midst of a shitty romance novel. Nobody cares when you're on bad terms, each blaming the other for all of the shortcomings that each of you incur. Nobody cares, simply because the way the two of you have been acting, neither of you have been worth caring about."
"It's almost as if the two of you have chosen to subject yourself to insane amounts of ridicule and scorn, simply to make things more dramatic than they actually are, or they need to be. And if that is what the two of you need to do in order to make people care about you within this industry, or to help the two of you actually care about our industry, then taking your titles is the least that I can do, simply because you both obviously need time away in order to get your priorities straight."
"You can thank me for that at the end of the night."
"And that brings me to someone who knows me better than almost everyone else in this locker room, Zane Scott."
"Zane, the actions of the past few weeks haven't been anything personal, though even if they had been, I doubt you'd have even noticed. No disrespect intended, because regardless of what has occurred the last few weeks, you actually are one of the very limited few whom I do have respect for in this industry. But that doesn't mean I won't do whatever it takes to walk out of this place as the World and C-H Champions. Even if that means that I have to step over you in the process."
"Because while you have been busy looking back at what you accomplished in becoming the alleged only triple-champion in UGWC history, I've been busy looking ahead to becoming the best that this company has to offer. While you have been busy creating various hashtags in an attempt to get your amount of followers up, I've been busy planning on what I will do to make these two titles actually mean something again."
"You're content to live in the past, with hopes to become what you've already been… while I've detested where I have been, with plans to be even better than I've already proven to be. And that's the biggest difference between the two of us, Zane…
"You're content to talk about what it is that you hope to do. I'm just going to go out and do it."
"Our company deserves to have someone who puts its championships above all else."
"Our company deserves to have someone who is capable of ignoring everything else around them, all while putting the entire company on their back, and carrying it to the glory it truly deserves."
"Our company deserves better than Lucy Wylde. Our company deserves better than Magdalena Lockheart. And though it pains me to say, our company deserves better than Zane Scott."
"Our company deserves 'Vain' Alan Wallace."
"And in less than an hours' time… everyone affiliated with UGWC will finally get what they fucking deserve."
FIN
- 1x
- 4x 
- 5x
- 6x
2013, '18, '23 
2013 
