Post by Travis Pierce on Dec 8, 2018 17:40:14 GMT -5
“You Know My Name” by Chris Cornell plays, and we see Rob Cartwright sitting behind the desk on the classic set of The Piercing Truth.
Cartwright: Good evening, and welcome to this very special broadcast here on the Piercing Media Network, as we reflect back at the year that was in 2018, spotlight the Horizons event that is just a few days away, and take a look ahead of the new year to come.
Rob turns to Camera B for a closer shot.
Cartwright: 2018 was a busy year in UGWC, but it may perhaps be best remembered for the resurgent performance of Travis Pierce. Whether it was his two championships reigns, or his dominant performances such as his victory inside Hell in a Cell or his dramatic defense of the Chaos Championship at Day of Reckoning, Pierce was often the water cooler talking point of UGWC fans around the globe. Please welcome, our featured performer here on the Piercing Media Network, the Icon of Entertainment, the King of Charisma, Travis Pierce.
An 8-bit synthesizer version of “You Know My Name” plays as Travis comes onto the set and takes a seat on the couch that his own guests have sat on for years.
Pierce: So this is how the other half lives!
Cartwright: You’re sure you do want your seat here?
Rob gestures to host seat he is sitting on.
Pierce: No, you look comfortable enough. Here’s the piercing truth, Rob. I know you’re not the most comfortable in front of a camera these days, but I need a proper interview and promotion ahead of Horizons, and the media crew of UGWC, we know they’re all just a bit insufficient. A person of my magnitude can’t be properly interviewed by the likes of a Grey Coppi. With Horizons to prepare for, I haven’t the time to interview myself, so since there are no competent substitutions for myself, we may as well have you do it.
Cartwright: Thank you?
Pierce: Yes, I am most kind.
Cartwright: Let’s take a look back at how this year started for you, when you faced Phrixus Deimos at Infinity.
Travis glares at him.
Pierce: That wasn’t in your notes.
Cartwright: You didn’t GIVE me any notes!
Travis sighs.
Pierce: I don’t think anybody expected what happened at the beginning of this year, Hastings abdicating as World Champion and becoming the Creative Director. He misused talent right from the start, leaving me out of the Global Challenge. I admit it was a difficult pill to swallow, and I didn’t have the proper focus. Fortunately, that’s one shortcoming that I’m in a position to correct. I outperformed Fear at Battleground, and I’ll be doing it again at Horizons.
Cartwright: Speaking of Horizons, you’ll be competing in a Carnage Match against Dave Rydell, Phrixus Deimos, Roxy Cotton, and the Chaos Champion, Le Bord de Dieu. This is the second time there will be a Carnage Match at Horizons, and the first time around you were not only in that match as well, but you won it.
Pierce: I did. There were more people in that one.
Cartwright: Eight people in total, include two people that are now in the Hall of Fame.
Pierce: I’m making an early resolution for 2019, or maybe we can just consider it a late resolution for 2018, however you want to spin it. I am winning the Chaos Championship at Horizons.
Cartwright: Not a bad goal or way to end the year.
Pierce: Full disclosure here, this isn’t something I originally wanted to do. This isn’t how I was supposed to spend my Horizons. I was supposed to be in the main event challenging Vain. Instead, Kem has my spot, and the lone bright spot for me is that I get to take my frustrations out on a bunch of people that I’ve already beaten. I outlasted both Bordy and Fear in Battleground. Beat Roxy at Day of Reckoning. Beat Rydell like he stole something whenever I’ve felt like it the past few years. A Carnage Match is all about survival, and I’ve survived all of these people before, and I’ll do it again.
Cartwright: You mentioned Dave Rydell, there has turned out to be a lot of history between you two. It’s worth noting that he was also in that aforementioned Carnage Match that you won at Horizons, in his Red Fusion persona.
Pierce: I resolve in 2019 to stop letting Dave Rydell sit at the adult table. It’s all a bit tired, isn’t it? I mean, how many times do I have to beat this guy? Remember when Hastings had his “Free Rydell” movement a few years ago? That’s what we need, a free Rydell, by which I mean a daily life of Pierce that is free of Rydell and all the nonsense that comes with. Freshen me up, please.
Cartwright: I’ve noticed you’ve made a few resolutions, certainly an appropriate time to do it with Horizons being the end of the UGWC year. Any more for us?
Pierce: I resolve to learn to speak French, or at the very least put some effort into navigating to google translate on my phone.
Cartwright: That’s very big of you.
Pierce: Yes, I thought so. That’s part of the problem with Bordy. When you’re in the ring with her, yeah, she is ferocious and all that, but she shouts stuff at you too, and you can’t understand it. It’s pretty distracting.
Cartwright: And it’s in French?
Pierce: Well, unless Bitchy is a language.
Cartwright: There’s also the-
Pierce: Hold on, I have another.
Cartwright: Okay.
Pierce: I do hereby resolve to get a refund for the money I spent on Roxy’s web show. I mean, talk about a waste. I’ve paid less to see more, and on top of that, UGWC pays me to actually touch her from time to time. So that was money straight down the pisser, and I think I’ll register a complaint with the better business bureau or something.
Cartwright: I think that’s probably a situation where the buyer needs to beware.
Pierce: No, I’ll tell you who needs to beware, and that’s the four people who are getting ready to face me at Horizons.
Travis stands and begins to slowly approach the camera.
Pierce: This year is going to end just as it’s been all year, with Travis Pierce standing triumphant. I beat Vain at Lord of Trios. Won in Hell in a Cell at No Holds Barred. Won Chambers of Fun at WrestleStock. Turned away my challenger at Day of Reckoning. I’ve beaten Bordy, beaten Deimos, beaten Cotton, beaten Rydell. Cross-Hemisphere Champion. Chaos Champion. When I win the Carnage Match at Horizons, it will be beyond dispute that I am the greatest Chaos Champion in history, and that is just a prelude, because here is my biggest and most significant resolution, that in the new UGWC year to come I will take my rightful place as the World Heavyweight Champion again, and there is nothing that anyone can do about it.
Travis is now directly in front of the camera, and he smirks.
Pierce: It’s not my fault that the truth...hurts.
Fade out…
Cartwright: Good evening, and welcome to this very special broadcast here on the Piercing Media Network, as we reflect back at the year that was in 2018, spotlight the Horizons event that is just a few days away, and take a look ahead of the new year to come.
Rob turns to Camera B for a closer shot.
Cartwright: 2018 was a busy year in UGWC, but it may perhaps be best remembered for the resurgent performance of Travis Pierce. Whether it was his two championships reigns, or his dominant performances such as his victory inside Hell in a Cell or his dramatic defense of the Chaos Championship at Day of Reckoning, Pierce was often the water cooler talking point of UGWC fans around the globe. Please welcome, our featured performer here on the Piercing Media Network, the Icon of Entertainment, the King of Charisma, Travis Pierce.
An 8-bit synthesizer version of “You Know My Name” plays as Travis comes onto the set and takes a seat on the couch that his own guests have sat on for years.
Pierce: So this is how the other half lives!
Cartwright: You’re sure you do want your seat here?
Rob gestures to host seat he is sitting on.
Pierce: No, you look comfortable enough. Here’s the piercing truth, Rob. I know you’re not the most comfortable in front of a camera these days, but I need a proper interview and promotion ahead of Horizons, and the media crew of UGWC, we know they’re all just a bit insufficient. A person of my magnitude can’t be properly interviewed by the likes of a Grey Coppi. With Horizons to prepare for, I haven’t the time to interview myself, so since there are no competent substitutions for myself, we may as well have you do it.
Cartwright: Thank you?
Pierce: Yes, I am most kind.
Cartwright: Let’s take a look back at how this year started for you, when you faced Phrixus Deimos at Infinity.
Travis glares at him.
Pierce: That wasn’t in your notes.
Cartwright: You didn’t GIVE me any notes!
Travis sighs.
Pierce: I don’t think anybody expected what happened at the beginning of this year, Hastings abdicating as World Champion and becoming the Creative Director. He misused talent right from the start, leaving me out of the Global Challenge. I admit it was a difficult pill to swallow, and I didn’t have the proper focus. Fortunately, that’s one shortcoming that I’m in a position to correct. I outperformed Fear at Battleground, and I’ll be doing it again at Horizons.
Cartwright: Speaking of Horizons, you’ll be competing in a Carnage Match against Dave Rydell, Phrixus Deimos, Roxy Cotton, and the Chaos Champion, Le Bord de Dieu. This is the second time there will be a Carnage Match at Horizons, and the first time around you were not only in that match as well, but you won it.
Pierce: I did. There were more people in that one.
Cartwright: Eight people in total, include two people that are now in the Hall of Fame.
Pierce: I’m making an early resolution for 2019, or maybe we can just consider it a late resolution for 2018, however you want to spin it. I am winning the Chaos Championship at Horizons.
Cartwright: Not a bad goal or way to end the year.
Pierce: Full disclosure here, this isn’t something I originally wanted to do. This isn’t how I was supposed to spend my Horizons. I was supposed to be in the main event challenging Vain. Instead, Kem has my spot, and the lone bright spot for me is that I get to take my frustrations out on a bunch of people that I’ve already beaten. I outlasted both Bordy and Fear in Battleground. Beat Roxy at Day of Reckoning. Beat Rydell like he stole something whenever I’ve felt like it the past few years. A Carnage Match is all about survival, and I’ve survived all of these people before, and I’ll do it again.
Cartwright: You mentioned Dave Rydell, there has turned out to be a lot of history between you two. It’s worth noting that he was also in that aforementioned Carnage Match that you won at Horizons, in his Red Fusion persona.
Pierce: I resolve in 2019 to stop letting Dave Rydell sit at the adult table. It’s all a bit tired, isn’t it? I mean, how many times do I have to beat this guy? Remember when Hastings had his “Free Rydell” movement a few years ago? That’s what we need, a free Rydell, by which I mean a daily life of Pierce that is free of Rydell and all the nonsense that comes with. Freshen me up, please.
Cartwright: I’ve noticed you’ve made a few resolutions, certainly an appropriate time to do it with Horizons being the end of the UGWC year. Any more for us?
Pierce: I resolve to learn to speak French, or at the very least put some effort into navigating to google translate on my phone.
Cartwright: That’s very big of you.
Pierce: Yes, I thought so. That’s part of the problem with Bordy. When you’re in the ring with her, yeah, she is ferocious and all that, but she shouts stuff at you too, and you can’t understand it. It’s pretty distracting.
Cartwright: And it’s in French?
Pierce: Well, unless Bitchy is a language.
Cartwright: There’s also the-
Pierce: Hold on, I have another.
Cartwright: Okay.
Pierce: I do hereby resolve to get a refund for the money I spent on Roxy’s web show. I mean, talk about a waste. I’ve paid less to see more, and on top of that, UGWC pays me to actually touch her from time to time. So that was money straight down the pisser, and I think I’ll register a complaint with the better business bureau or something.
Cartwright: I think that’s probably a situation where the buyer needs to beware.
Pierce: No, I’ll tell you who needs to beware, and that’s the four people who are getting ready to face me at Horizons.
Travis stands and begins to slowly approach the camera.
Pierce: This year is going to end just as it’s been all year, with Travis Pierce standing triumphant. I beat Vain at Lord of Trios. Won in Hell in a Cell at No Holds Barred. Won Chambers of Fun at WrestleStock. Turned away my challenger at Day of Reckoning. I’ve beaten Bordy, beaten Deimos, beaten Cotton, beaten Rydell. Cross-Hemisphere Champion. Chaos Champion. When I win the Carnage Match at Horizons, it will be beyond dispute that I am the greatest Chaos Champion in history, and that is just a prelude, because here is my biggest and most significant resolution, that in the new UGWC year to come I will take my rightful place as the World Heavyweight Champion again, and there is nothing that anyone can do about it.
Travis is now directly in front of the camera, and he smirks.
Pierce: It’s not my fault that the truth...hurts.
Fade out…
