Post by EmbodimentOfFear on Feb 9, 2019 16:40:26 GMT -5
February 6
The experiment has thus far been a success.
I have stepped outside of myself, stepped away from my sense of being and that which I value, and it has bred victory. Perhaps there is merit in choosing a different path. After all, it has brought me the Cross-Hemisphere Championship, and the Cross-Hemisphere Championship would never lie to me.
I have decided to go against my solitary nature and have taken out an advertisement in a local periodical for an individual to join me in my residence. The last time I entertained co-habitance, it was in the In Your Hands house and I was thoroughly disgusted by my fellow humanity, but I must admit it proved insightful and eye-opening. I await the fruits of this endeavor.
In the meantime, I shall continue to sample the roads that others have traveled, and see where these paths may lead me.
In a remarkable and momentous occasion, Director of Human Resources Robert Ooley is sitting at his desk and appears to actually be doing work.
“I have arrived.”
Ooley looks up at Phrixus, his eye darting back and forth for a moment.
“...so?”
“I stand before you eager, and prepared to listen to the widsom which you shall bestow upon me.”
Ooley opens his mouth for a moment, and then closes it before gritting his teeth for a couple seconds.
“Fuck it, I’ll bite. What the shit are you on about?”
“I have come to heed the word of the Quest-Giver.”
Ooley’s eye blinks several times. He moves the eye-patch to the opposite eye.
“Well you certainly look like Scared, but you sound like a dipshit that wants a bat upside his head, and Scared hasn’t managed that in a record amount of time.”
“Monsieur Ooley, the Most Amazing and Beloved, the Breaker of Wood in Arses, the Inflater of-”
“You do understand we haven’t discontinued the drug policy, that’s still a thing.”
“Bard!”
Todd the Intern rushes into the office with a lute in hand.
“Now what the shit is this?”
Todd begins to strum the lute and sing.
“He is brave Sir Phrixus, brave Sir Phrixus that-”
“No. NO. Absolutely fucking no. You will knock that shit off right now and fuck right off on out here. ”
Todd looks back and forth between Ooley and Phrixus, and Phrixus simply nods his head. Todd hesitates before strumming again, only for Ooley to sharply stand up, at which point Todd drops the lute and scurries out of the room.
Ooley calmly walks around the desk, glaring at Phrixus the entire time, and picks up the lute off the floor. Without breaking his stare, he smashes the instrument over his leg and throws it at the Embodiment’s feet.
“Well, that escalated quickly.”
Ooley again opens his mouth to say something, but it appears that the Director is actually at a loss for words.
“I await a quest.”
“We’re going to both forget that you did this.”
The sounds of fingernails dancing across a keyboard are the soundtrack to a black screen, until finally the webcam springs to life and we see the face of the Embodiment of Fear, difficult to see in the flickering candlelight.
WELCOME TO THE PRIVATE CAM OF PHRIXUS DEIMOS
You click to confirm your payment. A hint of a smile appears on the face of the Embodiment as he sees this on his end. He leans towards the camera and whisper seductively.
...what?
You elect to dive deeper down this rabbit hole, and contribute another bitcoin. He whispers again.
You try to X out, but it isn’t working for some reason.
February 8
I went to visit my mother today, an honor she feels she deserved for the role she played in my birth. She elected to spend the visit reminding me of various shortcoming and failures, particularly when it comes to following her advice and recommendations. She complained at length about how UGWC has misused me for the past several years and the refusal of Cypress to return her phone calls. When I reminded her that he has not been the Creative Director in years, she asked me what a Creative Director was. I have not missed her.
I sat in her basement for a time. It was cold and dreary and cast upon me delusions of grandeur. In my old possessions I came across a mask not unlike the one that so many people pretend that I wear. I reflected upon the early days of my career when I toiled in a small promotion known as Xtreme Kaos Wrestling, in which a persona was thrust upon me and I was known as Bad-Ass Lac Hydrin. My finisher was known as Student Parking. I am fairly certain that everything about the gimmick was crafted by somebody with no ideas just glancing around a college dorm room.
As I was leaving my mother commented on her pleasure that I am in proximity to Angelica again, oblivious to the fact that Vaughn is years younger and far blonder than the person she is thinking about.
The woman really is a silly wench.
The fading melody of “Phucking Phreak” can be heard as we fade in on Phrixus sitting behind a desk, a short stack of papers in front of him.
“Good evening, and welcome to Your Jaded Reality. I am your talking head, Phrixus Deimos. What follows are the critical news items that you are required to know but are ultimately irrelevant to your life.”
Phrixus picks up a piece of paper and scans it before speaking.
“Just a week ago was the annual Super Bowl competition, in which the Patriots of New England took on the Rams of Los Angeles and the Patriots triumphed after several hours of throwing and kicking an oblong piece of pigskin. It was surely a most ripping victory, but ultimately one with a narrow scope. Such a contest is appreciated in a mere corner of the world, one so confused it does not even understand that the term football implies a sport intended to be played primarily with the lower extremities of the legs.”
Phrixus moves the top paper to the bottom of the stack.
“Contrast this with the Global Challenge, scheduled to take place this week at the Infinity event in Charleston. This tournament takes place in an entire evening, instead of being stretched over a period of weeks such as the tournament that culminated in the Super Bowl, which wasted countless hours of the lives of viewers that could have been better spent expanding their minds or reflecting on their abhorrent ways. Furthermore, this tournament was ripe with flawed officiating that I am told led to an inferior paring in the final match. Surely no such errors would occur in the Global Challenge, especially now that the honorable Glenn Burke has been restored to the Head Referee position to oversee such matters.”
Phrixus moves the top paper to the bottom of the stack.
“Of course, the appeal of the Global Challenge is underlined in the name itself. This is a challenge of global appeal and aspiration. Global is an adjective relating to the entire world, relating to the whole of something. Super is an adjective that merely applies something to be very good or pleasant, which is clearly inferior by comparison. Perhaps if this football contest were to be titled the Universal Bowl, it may have had an argument here, but I very much doubt it.”
Phrixus moves the top paper to the bottom.
“As for who shall come out victorious in the Global Challenge this year, well…”
Phrixus shifts in his seat so that he is leaning towards the camera, and very awkwardly attempts and over-exaggerates a wink.
Phrixus carries a tray of food through catering at the UGWC Arena, taking a seat at a table by himself.
“Such paltry tripe. A miracle they all do not starve, or suffer food poisoning.”
Phrixus glances around and sees a custodian emptying a garbage can.
“You there! Curator! Come forth!”
The custodian finishes emptying the can and walks over to Phrixus.
“You may not consort with me! Away with you!”
The custodian gives Phrixus an annoyed look and resumes his duties. Phrixus begins poking at his food with his fork, and crinkles his nose. He glances up and sees Todd the Intern passing by.
“Indentured Servant! I would have words words with you!”
Todd walks over and starts to sit down.
“DO NOT PLACE YOUR POSTERIOR ADJACENT TO MY OWN!”
Todd, alarmed, retreats and continues on his way.
“...this...shouting...it is a fascinating sensation. Perhaps more sampling is warranted.”
The sound of a throat clearing prompts Phrixus to look back over his left shoulder, where Robert Ooley stands staring back at him.
“I wasn’t kidding about the drug testing.”
February 10
Twice have I won the Global Challenge. I have beaten the likes of Donovan Hastings, Alex Kiseragi, and Eden Morgan along the way to doing it. For as much as I have struggled historically at Horizons, Infinity is very much the opposite. I have competed for the World Title and I have won championships.
In the wake of the past several weeks, I could be left in a position to question my need to win the Global Challenge again. I have done it twice before and have nothing left to prove, and having the precious Cross-Hemisphere Title around my waist once depresses the desire to pursue the World Title. Yet a rising tide lifts all boats, and winning the Global Challenge and competing for the World Title will only raise the prestige of the Cross-Hemisphere Championship, and I will do anything to achieve that end.
This year the Global Challenge contains the usual participants, a couple young upstarts looking to climb to the next level such as Cotton and Grey, a rookie looking to make an impact such as Wrestley McWrestleface, a wild card such as Cynric the Crusader, veterans looking to prove they are still elite such as Orson or Pierce or Lacklan. These are common elements, a fresh coat of paint on an old formula, and with the format of the tournament returning to the one that I have won twice before, my true path appears to be one paved towards victory.
As I reflected on the past week and pondered my next choice, I was startled by a knocking at my door. Recalling the advertisement I had taken out earlier in the week, I opened the door expecting to greet a prospective roommate.
I admit to genuine surprise at seeing Holden Orson staring back at me.
The experiment has thus far been a success.
I have stepped outside of myself, stepped away from my sense of being and that which I value, and it has bred victory. Perhaps there is merit in choosing a different path. After all, it has brought me the Cross-Hemisphere Championship, and the Cross-Hemisphere Championship would never lie to me.
I have decided to go against my solitary nature and have taken out an advertisement in a local periodical for an individual to join me in my residence. The last time I entertained co-habitance, it was in the In Your Hands house and I was thoroughly disgusted by my fellow humanity, but I must admit it proved insightful and eye-opening. I await the fruits of this endeavor.
In the meantime, I shall continue to sample the roads that others have traveled, and see where these paths may lead me.
* * * * *
In a remarkable and momentous occasion, Director of Human Resources Robert Ooley is sitting at his desk and appears to actually be doing work.
“I have arrived.”
Ooley looks up at Phrixus, his eye darting back and forth for a moment.
“...so?”
“I stand before you eager, and prepared to listen to the widsom which you shall bestow upon me.”
Ooley opens his mouth for a moment, and then closes it before gritting his teeth for a couple seconds.
“Fuck it, I’ll bite. What the shit are you on about?”
“I have come to heed the word of the Quest-Giver.”
Ooley’s eye blinks several times. He moves the eye-patch to the opposite eye.
“Well you certainly look like Scared, but you sound like a dipshit that wants a bat upside his head, and Scared hasn’t managed that in a record amount of time.”
“Monsieur Ooley, the Most Amazing and Beloved, the Breaker of Wood in Arses, the Inflater of-”
“You do understand we haven’t discontinued the drug policy, that’s still a thing.”
“Bard!”
Todd the Intern rushes into the office with a lute in hand.
“Now what the shit is this?”
Todd begins to strum the lute and sing.
“He is brave Sir Phrixus, brave Sir Phrixus that-”
“No. NO. Absolutely fucking no. You will knock that shit off right now and fuck right off on out here. ”
Todd looks back and forth between Ooley and Phrixus, and Phrixus simply nods his head. Todd hesitates before strumming again, only for Ooley to sharply stand up, at which point Todd drops the lute and scurries out of the room.
Ooley calmly walks around the desk, glaring at Phrixus the entire time, and picks up the lute off the floor. Without breaking his stare, he smashes the instrument over his leg and throws it at the Embodiment’s feet.
“Well, that escalated quickly.”
Ooley again opens his mouth to say something, but it appears that the Director is actually at a loss for words.
“I await a quest.”
“We’re going to both forget that you did this.”
* * * * *
Clickclickclickclick.
The sounds of fingernails dancing across a keyboard are the soundtrack to a black screen, until finally the webcam springs to life and we see the face of the Embodiment of Fear, difficult to see in the flickering candlelight.
WELCOME TO THE PRIVATE CAM OF PHRIXUS DEIMOS
"Hello there. Welcome to the parlor of sin. Tonight as you sit behind your screen and crave for perversion and gluttonous release, allow yourself to satiate your dark desires and indulge in the pleasures that I have for you. Pledge to me your precious bitcoin and I shall gratify your need for transgression and wickedness.”
You click to confirm your payment. A hint of a smile appears on the face of the Embodiment as he sees this on his end. He leans towards the camera and whisper seductively.
"Lust.”
...what?
"You know you desire a little more. Grant me the sweet carbohydrate, darling infant.”
You elect to dive deeper down this rabbit hole, and contribute another bitcoin. He whispers again.
"Avarice.”
You try to X out, but it isn’t working for some reason.
"Sloth.”
* * * * *
February 8
I went to visit my mother today, an honor she feels she deserved for the role she played in my birth. She elected to spend the visit reminding me of various shortcoming and failures, particularly when it comes to following her advice and recommendations. She complained at length about how UGWC has misused me for the past several years and the refusal of Cypress to return her phone calls. When I reminded her that he has not been the Creative Director in years, she asked me what a Creative Director was. I have not missed her.
I sat in her basement for a time. It was cold and dreary and cast upon me delusions of grandeur. In my old possessions I came across a mask not unlike the one that so many people pretend that I wear. I reflected upon the early days of my career when I toiled in a small promotion known as Xtreme Kaos Wrestling, in which a persona was thrust upon me and I was known as Bad-Ass Lac Hydrin. My finisher was known as Student Parking. I am fairly certain that everything about the gimmick was crafted by somebody with no ideas just glancing around a college dorm room.
As I was leaving my mother commented on her pleasure that I am in proximity to Angelica again, oblivious to the fact that Vaughn is years younger and far blonder than the person she is thinking about.
The woman really is a silly wench.
* * * * *
The fading melody of “Phucking Phreak” can be heard as we fade in on Phrixus sitting behind a desk, a short stack of papers in front of him.
“Good evening, and welcome to Your Jaded Reality. I am your talking head, Phrixus Deimos. What follows are the critical news items that you are required to know but are ultimately irrelevant to your life.”
Phrixus picks up a piece of paper and scans it before speaking.
“Just a week ago was the annual Super Bowl competition, in which the Patriots of New England took on the Rams of Los Angeles and the Patriots triumphed after several hours of throwing and kicking an oblong piece of pigskin. It was surely a most ripping victory, but ultimately one with a narrow scope. Such a contest is appreciated in a mere corner of the world, one so confused it does not even understand that the term football implies a sport intended to be played primarily with the lower extremities of the legs.”
Phrixus moves the top paper to the bottom of the stack.
“Contrast this with the Global Challenge, scheduled to take place this week at the Infinity event in Charleston. This tournament takes place in an entire evening, instead of being stretched over a period of weeks such as the tournament that culminated in the Super Bowl, which wasted countless hours of the lives of viewers that could have been better spent expanding their minds or reflecting on their abhorrent ways. Furthermore, this tournament was ripe with flawed officiating that I am told led to an inferior paring in the final match. Surely no such errors would occur in the Global Challenge, especially now that the honorable Glenn Burke has been restored to the Head Referee position to oversee such matters.”
Phrixus moves the top paper to the bottom of the stack.
“Of course, the appeal of the Global Challenge is underlined in the name itself. This is a challenge of global appeal and aspiration. Global is an adjective relating to the entire world, relating to the whole of something. Super is an adjective that merely applies something to be very good or pleasant, which is clearly inferior by comparison. Perhaps if this football contest were to be titled the Universal Bowl, it may have had an argument here, but I very much doubt it.”
Phrixus moves the top paper to the bottom.
“As for who shall come out victorious in the Global Challenge this year, well…”
Phrixus shifts in his seat so that he is leaning towards the camera, and very awkwardly attempts and over-exaggerates a wink.
* * * * *
Phrixus carries a tray of food through catering at the UGWC Arena, taking a seat at a table by himself.
“Such paltry tripe. A miracle they all do not starve, or suffer food poisoning.”
Phrixus glances around and sees a custodian emptying a garbage can.
“You there! Curator! Come forth!”
The custodian finishes emptying the can and walks over to Phrixus.
“You may not consort with me! Away with you!”
The custodian gives Phrixus an annoyed look and resumes his duties. Phrixus begins poking at his food with his fork, and crinkles his nose. He glances up and sees Todd the Intern passing by.
“Indentured Servant! I would have words words with you!”
Todd walks over and starts to sit down.
“DO NOT PLACE YOUR POSTERIOR ADJACENT TO MY OWN!”
Todd, alarmed, retreats and continues on his way.
“...this...shouting...it is a fascinating sensation. Perhaps more sampling is warranted.”
The sound of a throat clearing prompts Phrixus to look back over his left shoulder, where Robert Ooley stands staring back at him.
“I wasn’t kidding about the drug testing.”
* * * * *
February 10
Twice have I won the Global Challenge. I have beaten the likes of Donovan Hastings, Alex Kiseragi, and Eden Morgan along the way to doing it. For as much as I have struggled historically at Horizons, Infinity is very much the opposite. I have competed for the World Title and I have won championships.
In the wake of the past several weeks, I could be left in a position to question my need to win the Global Challenge again. I have done it twice before and have nothing left to prove, and having the precious Cross-Hemisphere Title around my waist once depresses the desire to pursue the World Title. Yet a rising tide lifts all boats, and winning the Global Challenge and competing for the World Title will only raise the prestige of the Cross-Hemisphere Championship, and I will do anything to achieve that end.
This year the Global Challenge contains the usual participants, a couple young upstarts looking to climb to the next level such as Cotton and Grey, a rookie looking to make an impact such as Wrestley McWrestleface, a wild card such as Cynric the Crusader, veterans looking to prove they are still elite such as Orson or Pierce or Lacklan. These are common elements, a fresh coat of paint on an old formula, and with the format of the tournament returning to the one that I have won twice before, my true path appears to be one paved towards victory.
As I reflected on the past week and pondered my next choice, I was startled by a knocking at my door. Recalling the advertisement I had taken out earlier in the week, I opened the door expecting to greet a prospective roommate.
I admit to genuine surprise at seeing Holden Orson staring back at me.
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