The Magicool Kids [LoT entry]

[angelicavaughn]

The Great Hall
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry
Scotland

As Headmaster Ichabod rose to his feet at the staff table, the students all fell quiet automatically. He hadn’t been in charge for long, but the former teacher of Defence against the Dark Arts was a wizard who commanded great respect amongst student and peers alike. His intimidating look and entrancing rockstar voice could move an audience with merely a whisper. A shadow fell across the Great Hall, as the ceiling that reflected the sky became obscured when a cloud passed in front of the sun. It was as if the very elements were directed by the Headmaster, which they very well might have been.

Angelica Vaughn, seventh-year-student and Head Girl, looked on from the Hufflepuff table. She rested her elbow on the sturdy lacquered oak and used her hand to support her head. The feast on display looked so utterly delicious that she couldn’t wait to dig in. She needed to regain a bit of strength after today’s lesson of Care of Magical Creatures. Capturing diricawls was hard work and she’d hurt her elbow when trying to catch the disapparating creatures. But of course, eating before Headmaster Ichabod gave the go-ahead was strictly forbidden and punishable with almost fifty House points! The bald Headmaster rose his hands and the overhead floating candles flickered to life.

“Dear children.”

He didn’t need an Amplifying Charm to make his voice resonate throughout the Hall. It was loud and booming. Angelica felt her SmartParch buzz inside her robes. One of her non-House friends was sending a message in their secret group chat. She quickly sat straight and looked around to see who it was, but her eyes didn’t immediately spot them. The Slytherin table was closest by but Sarah was looking at Ichabod attentively with her sinister red eyes that made people instantly believe she was a Dark Witch when they first saw her. Honestly, they weren’t too far from the truth. But still, she noticed Sarah’s hand wandering to the pocket in her robes as well. Obviously she’d felt it too. Meanwhile, Headmaster Ichabod continued.

“As you all know, the Triwizard tournament will soon be upon us. Three of the best young students in the world will get the chance to prove their wizarding wit, their magical mettle, their prowess with potions and cunning with charms. One of YOU will have the honor of representing Hogwarts as its champion!”

This recaptured Angelica’s attention. She’d always been a straight A student. Not a great duelist, but her knowledge of magical creatures (yes, that included cats in her opinion) and her skill with transfigurations and expertise in potion crafting had made sure she was already being head-hunted by the Ministry of Magic. Angelica didn’t have that particular ambition. She wanted her own magical farm, even if her Veela mother disapproved strongly.

“Soon, we will be welcoming our neighbouring schools. Many of you have already met our exchange student from Beauxbatons Academy of Magic in France…”

He gestured at the Ravenclaw table. There she sat, not too far from Roxy in fact,… The hautaine demeanour with which Aveline Bordieu carried herself grated Angie’s gears to the n-th degree, but she seemed quite well liked… if only because she was exotic, charismatic and APPARENTLY very attractive to the boys. Not that Angie wasn’t the same. She was half Veela after all, but after 7 years in Hogwarts most of the boys, and some girls, had given up to try and win her affections, citing the cause as ‘hopeless anyway’.

Aveline reacted by sticking her nose in the air. She was an extremely powerful witch, and many already believed her to be the favourite to become Beauxbatons’ Champion. And she knew it.

Her SmartParch buzzed again. She retrieved the piece of vellum from her robes this time and threw a quick glance at it. It was Kenzi’s handwriting, but she couldn’t see her from all the way from the Hufflepuff table, as the Gryffindors were seated at the other end of the Hall.

”THIS HO! Thinking she all high and mighty and shit!”

Angie sighed and quickly took her feather, discreetly scribbling something underneath Kenzi’s message that had appeared on the paper.

”Language!”

She’s a repulsive slattern! I dare to wager she’s TOTES Muggle-born!”

Of COURSE Sarah agreed with her girlfriend. She looked over at her and saw Sarah hiding her SmartParch under the table as well, clearly now more interested in their secret group chat than in Headmaster Ichabod’s words. Nevertheless, he continued to speak.

“For the first time ever, we shall be joined by the Ilvermorny School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, rather than Durmstrang Institute. Our American friends, led by Headmaster Hastings, are more than eager to join this grand tradition that was officially reinstated. Thanks to their and my continued efforts, we have finally come to an agreement.”

A loud voice rose up from the Ravenclaw table. It was unmistakably Roxy’s.

“HEADMASTER ICHABOD IS THE BEST! YOU RULE!”

“Correct!” the Headmaster said, bowing his head in acknowledgment. “50 points to House Ravenclaw!”

A deep sigh went around the Great Hall. Ever since Roxy had hacked the system of school points, House Ravenclaw had won the House Cup three years straight. Angelica’s grip on her quill tightened as she scribbled on the SmartParch.

”Roxy! You cheater cheater pumpkin pie eater! Stop DOING THAT!”

”Gotta know how to play the system, bb. This dumb Triwizard Cup will be just as easy to win, just watch.”

”MEH! As if you’d ever get selected.”

”UMMMMMM I am, bb. Divination classes were CLEAR! The tea leaves said the prettiest girl in school is gonna be Champion. That’s me, duh.”

”Stop lying in this chat, bb. It’s not gonna be a halfblood like you, TOBVS.”

”Sar-sar, stop thinking about blood ALL THE TIME, by Merl’s beard! I don’t even know who my father is!”

”Daaaamn. Dumped his splat into a hot piece of Veela ass and disapparated? Even I think that’s cold.”

”EW”

”EW”

”EW”

”…wut?”

“But for now,” Headmaster Ichabod continued, “let us feast, after another wonderful day of school! Enjoy this Hogsmeade designated weekend, for on Monday we welcome Ilvermorny and Beauxbâtons!”

As the Headmaster sat down, the Hall was overtaken with the metallic clinking of cutlery, the sound of scraping bowls and plates across wood, and the loud munching of Angelica’s neighbour. As usual, Angelica was surrounded by hordes of younger students who looked up to her, both as a Half-Veela, a Head Girl, and star Beater of the Hufflepuff Quidditch team. While Angelica liked and appreciated their admiration, she didn’t really have many close friends in her own House. Ever since the first year, she’d bonded, for some inexplicable reason, with a Slytherin, Gryffindor and Ravenclaw student. At first, some of the others in her dorm were wary of her because of it, but she’d soon displayed that she could by trusted by all. Still, her friends were slightly more mischievous than her. And sometimes made her do things that weren’t entirely… by the book.

Like leaving their dorms at night and wandering the castle.

Of course, they were all prefects and were actually allowed to now, to a certain extent at least, but it hadn’t always been that easy. Roxy said she only became prefect so she could sneak off to Professor Lane’s chambers anyway. She’d always had a massive crush on the Potions teacher.

”Sooo, prefect bathroom tonight? Or room of requirement?”

”Hell naw, that’s boring as shit! I don’t wanna see Angie in her bathing suit again anyway.”

”Whatever you say, Beloved!”

Angelica rolled her eyes as she saw the messages on her SmartParch. Sarah was so weird. She was always going on about the purity of blood and then proceeded to date a complete Muggle-born in Kenzi. Opposites attract, indeed. Kenzi had always been weirded out by the whole magic thing. Apparently her first words when she had set foot on Hogwarts ground were ‘This shit is for fucking nerds! Y’all are whack!’

Angie quickly scribbled a text.

”Erised?”

The Mirror of Erised, the one that showed a person’s deepest desire. They had discovered it in their 2nd year in an abandoned attic.

”Angie wants to look at cats again, guys.”

”MEH!”

”I would actually like the opportunity to visit the Mirror again. It’s always nice to see my plan to rid the world of Muggles and Muggle-borns, with the exception of my Beloved, come to fruition.”

”Erised it is! I’ll see you witches there!
【≽ܫ≼】”

Angie folded the piece of parchment back into her pocket and as she looked over her shoulder, saw Sarah do the same, before her Slytherin friend continued to tell the tale of the great Lord Voldemort to her legion of mesmerized first-years with an emphatic ‘N-E-WAYS!’

____░▒▓▓▒░▒▓▓▒░____

Later that night…
Hogwarts
An abandoned attic

With a mighty whooshing sound, Kenzi threw the curtain off of the Mirror. She cocked her head sideways, but before she could remark on what she saw, Sarah pushed her out of the way.

“MUAHAHA! Look at me, standing on top of the wizarding w… Wait, what am I holding, are those… BABIES??”

A shocked Pure Blood Princess, as the rest of the school had started to call her, stood in front of the mirror with her hands in her thighs. Kenzi peeked over her shoulder.

“I don’t see shit! I just see you.”

“That’s because I AM your deepest desire, Beloved, OBVS!” Sarah answered while Roxy made a fake retching sound.

“You guys are so gay!”

“I’m not gay!” Kenzi answered immediately, angrily turning towards the Blonde Bombshell, while Angelica moved up to Sarah.

“Hey, Sar-sar, mind if I have a look?”

“Sure thing, Ang.”

Sarah stepped aside. Meanwhile, Kenzi and Roxy were still arguing as the former got in Roxy’s face.

“You take that back!”

“Or what? You wanna fight?” Roxy pulled her wand of fir and unicorn hair out of her robes.

“How ‘bout we fight and put the wands away first?” Kenzi said, throwing her own wand of beech and Nundu spine to the side. It clattered along the stone floor, echoing off the bare walls, but was soon overtaken by Sarah’s voice.

“You guys, SHIT UP! Or I’ll make you, I swear to baby Merlin!” Sarah pulled her own wand of birch and dragon heartstring and got involved in the squabble, but Angelica no longer heard them. Their voices seemed to fade away and drown as she got lost in thought, gazing at the display in the Mirror of Erised.

She saw herself.

She was Champion.

Not just Champion of Hogwarts, but she’d just won the Triwizard Tournament. She was on top of the world, and everybody was applauding her and cheering her name. Sarah, Kenzi and Roxy were jumping up and down in joy, immensely proud of their friend’s accomplishment. She saw her mother standing there, but even the radiant Veela hair of which one strand made up the core of Angie’s wand, seemed bland and drab compared to the splendour of the championship in Angelica’s hands. She hoisted it overhead, until she got awoken from her daydream by a hand on her shoulder.

“Well? How many dumb cats are you drowning in this time?” Kenzi asked.

“Erm, oh, I…” Angelica stammered. Kenzi did have a point. Usually she saw more modest scenario’s. Scenes of her and a bunch of cats and other magical creatures, playing and having fun. But not this. Never this. She didn’t even realize she wanted this so badly. To be respected. To be admired. To be strong and proud. To be a champion. Was she really this vain? She shuddered at the thought.

“My turn!” Roxy said, moving Angelica to the side before admiring her voluptuous frame in the mirror. “I wanna see what position Professor Lane is gonna do me in tonight. Ooooh!”

“Spill it, bb!” Sarah excitedly said, hopping up and down. Roxy grinned.

“Somebody cover Angie’s ears.”

____░▒▓▓▒░▒▓▓▒░____

The very next day…
On the way to Hogsmeade

The Magicool Kids (©) were making their way down the road to Hogsmeade. The small village near the school was the only retreat they were allowed to have during school weeks and it was always a load of fun. It was where Angie had had her first taste of beer, where Sarah and Kenzi had shared their first kiss, and where Roxy had… Well, let’s not even go there.

It was a beautiful day. The sun was out, the snidgets were chirping, and everybody was in a great mood. Angelica was waving her wand of maple and Veela hair about, casting transfiguration spells at everything she could see.

“Ang, sers, stop turning everything into kitties!” Sarah remarked, but Angelica didn’t listen, continuing to drastically up the feline population of Hogsmeade with every step. Sarah sighed, but it was a forced one, as deep down she appreciated her slightly weird friend immensely.

As Angie kept skipping along, Kenzi and Sarah started to snog while Roxy was using her SmartParch to send some texts to the guy she was hooking up with (no prizes for guessing who). But all four of them were interrupted by a voice that was as unpleasant as it was welcomed.

“Bonjour, salopes!”

Aveline Bordieu, exchange student of Beaubâtons, stood in the middle of the road with her arms crossed, blocking their path. Behind her stood a whole horde of Ravenclaw students that she’d roped into doing her bidding ever since she’d come to Hogwarts. They looked at their fellow Ravenclaw student Roxy, but there was no sympathy to be found. Roxy had never really been friends with her Ravenclaw Housemates,even if she had won them the House Cup over and over. Angelica always believed that it was because Roxy was smarter than most of them combined and that they were jealous of her magical talents. Or maybe it was because she set off the occasional dung bomb in the Ravenclaw dorms for literal shits and giggles.

“Whatchu want, ho?” Kenzi asked defiantly and Aveline smirked.

“What ees eet I want, tu me demandes? I weesh for no-teenk. Only to point and laugh at the midi-au-coeur gaggle that calls itself ‘Ogwarts fine-est.”

The Ravenclaw students laughed, but the laughter stifled when Sarah stepped up. They knew enough about her to know she was not to be trifled with.

“Shit up, you French bimbo. You’re a disgrace to all purebloods!”

“A funny teenk, coming from a salope who lies with Mudbloods, non?”

Sarah drew her wand in anger, but Angelica grabbed her wrist and shook her head sideways.

“Not worth it, Sar-sar! Just ignore her!”

But Aveline was intent on triggering them into a reaction, and the French girl continued to address them with her thick accent in as condescending a tone as she could muster.

“Ah, and what do we ‘ave ‘ere? The leetle group’s mascotte? Ma mère me toujours disait… Never trust a Veela, for they are wicked as a ‘ippogriff and as ugly on the inside as a mountain troll!”

Angelica was trying to ignore her, but this time it was Roxy who drew her wand.

“That’s my bwf you’re talking about you croissant eating shitstain!”

Aveline giggled as Angelica held Roxy back as well, whispering in her ear.

“Not. Worth. It!”

“Alors, c’est claire. The students of the world famous ‘Ogwarts school do not possess the guts to stand up for themselves. Your school ees a joke, and Beauxbatons will win this silly cup with me as its Champion as eef I were taking a stroll down la plague.”

Angelica froze. She? A Champion? No chance. She wasn’t worthy of such an honour. She didn’t deserve such a prestigious title. She was a vile, arrogant and selfish woman who sought only to raise herself by stepping on others. Angelica turned around and stepped up to her.

“A Champion? You? Maybe in some other place. But we are Hogwarts, greatest wizarding school in the world. You’re in the big leagues now. And you will give us the same respect that we have always shown you!”

“My, my… Accio attitude, eh?”

“You can accio deez nuts!” Kenzi shouted, but Angelica held up her hand.

“I don’t care what you say. If your attitude is what Beauxbatons brings to the wizarding community, then I pity you. And even if you ARE the best of what they have to offer, it doesn’t matter. Because you will never defeat Ilvermorny’s champion, and certainly not Hogwarts Champion. Because I’m putting my name in that cup, Aveline. And I’m going to be the Hogwarts champion and win this whole tournament, just because you think I can’t.”

“WOW.”

“MEH!”

“AXLY!”

Angelica turned around and raised an eyebrow as if to say ‘really, guys?’ She should’ve known that her friends were all also going to put their names in the Cup and be eligible for the Hogwarts championship, but she would’ve at least expected some kind of support in this situation. Aveline chuckled again.

“kirikirikiri… You amuse me, Vaughn girl. Tes yeux m’enchantent, but in the end you’re nothing but a… how you say… push-oh-voeur. Put your name in that Cup and we’ll see. I hope you get chose-en. It’ll be a pleasure to crush you beneath my boots. Au revoir, salopes!”

And with a flick of her hand, she roused the Ravenclaw rabble who followed her like a line of ducklings. Roxy shot her Housemates another dirty look and then looked at Angelica, who was balling her fingers into a wrist, pressing her nails into her palms.

“Should’ve let us go at her, bb.”

“MEH! Who cares about that dumbass bitch. Let’s go to the Hog’s Head, I’m craving candy peach juice.”

Roxy and Kenzi moved along and Sarah stayed behind to comfort Angelica, who obviously seemed distraught.

“Ang? You okay, buddy?” She put her hand on Angelica’s shoulder, squeezing it gently. “You’re usually not this… highly strung. And no, that’s not a dig at your height obvs, because if you ask me you’re half giantess, not half Veela!”

Angelica smiled. Sarah always knew what to say. Always had, as if they shared this kind of inexplicable bond.

“It’s just…. I saw myself in the Mirror, Sar-sar. For the first time it wasn’t about kittens and unicorns. It was about me, proving that I have what it takes to not just be Hogwarts’ Champion, but that I can compete with the best in the world! That I’m every bit as smart and strong, that I’m just as cunning and powerful! It’s nice to be liked, but… I just don’t think it’s enough.”

“Oh, Ang…” Sarah threw an arm around her friend’s shoulder and started to guide her further down the path. “Everybody adores you! But that’s not just it. People look up to you! You’re what everybody wants to be, but can’t! You’re a good person and a powerful witch, and even if you don’t become the Champion, you’re destined for great things! Now let’s go get you a butterbeer and maybe something stronger, yeah? Get your mind off of that awful Frenchie…”

Angelica nodded. A smile reappeared on her face. She flicked her wrist and sparks flew from her wand, transforming a way sign into a kitten.

…

…

… later, at the Hog’s Head

“Black Jesus could’ve turned that shit into wine,” Kenzi said as she pointed at Angie’s butterbeer. “He was the first wizard, I bet. Walk on water, feed the people with one fish, all that shit.”

“Not this again…” Sarah sighed.

The four of them sat round a table. Butterbeers for Angie and Roxy, pumpkin juice for Sar, and candy peach juice for Kenzi. Roxy had barely touched hers, since she was too focused on her SmartParch.

“Maaaan,” Kenzi continued as she took another sip, “we should’ve knocked out that flat ass French bum. All fists, no magic, nahmean? Headbutt straight to her crooked nose, that’ll teach her. Or teach her the way of the Grey knuckle sandwich. No pain au chocolat, no gain au chocolat, know what I’m saying?”

“I have absolutely no clue, but I appreciate the sentiment,” Angelica replied. “I do hope not all Beauxbatons students prove themselves to be as annoying!”

“Daaaamn, Angie, she really must’ve gotten in your head. I’ve known you for what, seven years, and annoying is the worst thing I’ve ever heard you say about anyone!”

“Don’t forget when she called Maggie a poo-poohead in our third year. I’ve never been more proud than I was that day!”

“Or when she nearly killed half the owlery by feeding them chocolate to keep the Dementors away! Shit was funny as fuck!”

Roxy, Sarah and Kenzi laughed while Angelica shuffled uncomfortably in her seat.

“Hey, that was Year One and we hadn’t had any magical creature classes yet! Still can’t believe they never allowed me to have an owl after that… Bobby can’t deliver letters! Good thing we have SmartParchments now.”

“True enough. N-E-WAYS, Ang, Ilvermorny is arriving on Monday. I dare to bet they have a metric fuckton of CUTE BOYS in their ranks!”

“Do not!”

“Too late! Already told my Quidditch cheerleading buddy Ashley to keep an eye out. Already know who you’re gonna take to the Ball?”

“B-b-b-ball…?” Angelica stammered. “What Ball?”

“It’s a white wizard thing,” Kenzi remarked. “Y’all hang on to each other’s butts and dance in circles to boring music that ain’t even got no beat.”

“It’s Triwizard tradition, bb. Hey, can I ask out teachers you think?”

“Wait, is this obligatory?”

“Is if you’re Champion!” Sarah said with a smirk. Angelica stuck her tongue out.

“Gotta go, you bunch of whores!” Roxy said as she stood up from her seat. “Professor Lane’s outside. He promised to show me all corners of Hogsmeade!”

Roxy bolted and Angie scratched her head.

“Weird, you’d think she knew everything there is to see by now.”

Kenzi and Sarah rolled their eyes.

____░▒▓▓▒░▒▓▓▒░____

Monday morning
Great Hall
Hogwarts

Headmaster Ichabod stood up, and the Hall once again fell silent. Angelica’s eyes were primarily fixed on the plates of scrambled eggs, crispy bacon, fried tomatoes, black pudding, Cumberland sausages and baked beans, however. She needed a good breakfast. The breakfast of a Champion. Today was the big day. HER day. She knew it. She could feel it in her tiny toe. And as her mother had said, Veela knew those sorts of things by their tiny toes.

“Students of Hogwarts. Today we welcome our brothers and sisters from Beauxbatons and Ilvermorny. I trust each and every one of you to behave yourself and show our magical comrades the same respect that they will undoubtedly give you.”

“FUCK THOSE BEAUXBATONS BITCHES!”

“Minus one hundred points for Gryffindor, Miss Grey.”

“You’re the best, Professor Ichabod!”

“Fifty points for Ravenclaw, Miss Cotton! As I was saying… Anyone who has reached the age of wizarding majority is eligible to submit their name into the Cup. But do so at your own risk. For whomever is chosen as its school’s Champion is potentially rewarded with eternal glory,… but also with imminent danger. The tasks you’re about to face are far from a laughing matter, intended to challenge even the most prodigious of students. And here is our grand prize.”

Professor Lane waked into the Great Hall, carrying the Triwizard Cup. Angie immediately felt her SmartParch buzz.

SPLOOSH!!

He placed it in the middle of the Hall and bright blue flames enveloped it, intended to swallow the parchments with all the names of eligible students.

“It will choose only the brightest and bravest, the most cunning and creative! People have died in this Tournament, despite many security measures having been taken. I repeat, do NOT take this lightly!”

But I must do this. I have no choice. It’s what I want. The Mirror said so.

“But first, let us welcome our brothers and sisters from Beauxbatons Academy, led by the legendary Headmaster Johnny Broyeurdos!”

Ichabod had barely finished the last word, or the doors to the Great Hall burst open. Beauxbatons students entered the Great Hall, clad in their blue costumes with skirts for the girls and lapelled jackets for the boys. They seemed to carry a certain hautain air about them, much like Aveline did, but Angie wasn’t sure if it was observation or prejudice that made her think so. Was it discipline or arrogance that made them walk so rigidly with their noses into the air? It was hard to tell. The Headmaster at the front of the pack was short and stout, walking with a calculated pace. As the Beauxbatons students walked over to the Cup, the Hogwarts Headmaster resumed his monologue.

“As we are the hosts, our guests will have the privilege of first submitting their names into the Cup. Please, proceed.”

The Beauxbatons students, all of them eligible, folded the parchments in half and submitted them toi the Cup’s flames that swallowed them whole. They then proceeded to sit themselves down at the Ravenclaw table while their Headmaster sat down next to Ichabod. Two of the Beauxbatons students sat down next to Roxy, who pulled a face as if she’d just been thrown into a vat of salted snails. Angelica saw her look down at her SmartParch and felt something buzz in her pocket. She took a quick glance.

”Gross, they smell of garlic!”

Then, the Ilvermorny students entered the Hall. They seemed like a much more relaxed bunch. They were predominantly male, led by Headmaster Hastings, and they looked cheerful and in good spirits. They looked around the Great Hall in amazement, especially at the ceiling that displayed the sky.

”CUTE BOYS INCOMING!”

”Do not!”

As they followed the example of the Beauxbatons students, Ichabod gave the signal for the Hogwarts students to follow their example. A couple of seventh-years from the Hufflepuff table rose to their feet, but it was clear Angelica was their favorite. From year One to Six, they all applauded and cheered her name as she walked past. Angelica took a quick look and saw that Kenzi, Roxy and Sarah had also stood up to submit their names. Angie queued up right behind Kenzi.

“Nervous?”

“Hell naw! Either I get picked or I don’t. I just wanna throw down, you know? Whoop some ass. Fight a Flerkin or some shit.”

“I see…”

Angelica let her name be swallowed up by the flames, and returned to her own seat. There, she noticed that the Ilvermorny students were going to seat themselves at the Hufflepuff tables. A few of them hung around where Angie was seated. As they saw her approach, the tallest one nodded his head as manner of greeting. Angie sat down and he respectfully but decisively addressed her.

“Mind if we sit down here?”

“NOBVS! Go right ahead.”

The two guys sat down next to Angelica, and the one who’d addressed her held out his hand.

“Zane Scott, Ilvermorny, House Wampus. This here’s Dave, also House Wampus.”

“Pleasure.”

While the Zane guy seemed relatively polite, the other guy wasn’t. Zane was tall, with long brown hair and a muscular frame. Dave had a rougher beard than you’d expect to see among students and his bald head gave him a rather intimidating look. Headmaster Ichabod addressed them one final time.

“Welcome to all! I thank Headmasters Hastings and Broyeurdos for the privilege of their competition. For now, feast. The Cup will choose its Champions while you eat. Get to know each other and your customs, for you will be spending a lot of time together. May the best ones win!”

Dave immediately scooped up all the fried mushrooms and scrambled eggs he could get his hands on. Zane took a more polite portion while Angie dug into the baked beans. Dave bumped his elbow into Zane’s tricep.

“Hey, you seen Raab? Dude vanished.”

“Yeah, he got sick on the way over here. Probably puking all over the bathroom stalls.”

Zane looked sideways and then apologized to Angelica.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to spoil your appetite, Miss…?”

“Vaughn! Angelica Vaughn, House Hufflepuff. And don’t worry about it, I’m used to people saying gross stuff. You should meet my friends!” She shook Zane’s hand. It was strong and firm, as she’d expected. What she didn’t expect, however, was her SmartParch going berserk in her pocket, but it would be impolite to check it out. However, as all-knowing narrator, we can show you.

”Typical Ang, hogging ALL the cute boys already!”

”Wouldn’t say cute, bb, they look like they were found after their school’s swamp was dredged.”

”LOL! But you don’t know, one of ‘em might be holding Angie’s V-card soon.”

”We’re BWF’s, KENZI! She has HIGH STANDARDS!”

”Bitch please, you only befriended her because you thought she could brew you a magical titty enhancement potion.”

”Worked, didn’t it??”

”Please do not make Baby Merlin cry in this chat.”

Meanwhile, Zane Scott continued to address Angelica.

“It’s a great school you have here. Very old. Very powerful. You can feel the magic seeping through the cracks almost serendipitously.”

“Very seren-what now?”

“Don’t worry,” Dave interrupted, “he likes using words other people don’t know the meaning of so people’ll think he’s smart.”

“What an insolent and erroneous asseveration, Dave. I resent the implication.”

“See?”

”UGH! These Beaux batty bitches are driving me fucking nuts!”

”Minus a million points to Ravenclaw!”

”Doesn’t count, Beloved.”

”All fawning over Aveline like she’s the 2nd coming of Dumbledore. I’m gonna unleash the Fart Curse Angie taught me on one of them.”

”Make sure it doesn’t backfire again like at the Prefect’s bathrooms. I still want to Obliviate myself every time I think of it.”

”Y’all nasty!”

“Why yes,” Zane Scott meanwhile continued to tell Angelica, “I’d say it’s catastonic, perhaps even peraptious to assimify such ferrycontrapulations in this day and age!”

“Are these real words!?”

“Why obveronimously!”

“Oh, you mean OBVS??? I know that word!!”

“That’s not a real word, I’m afraid, Miss Vaughn. I see you’re trying to trickulate me into assimifying I know naught of the vocabulatorious differentialities between our Americanous and Britishized versiones of our mother tongues!”

“Errrrr….”

“Just say yes…” Dave chimed in. “He likes it when people say yes.”

“Errr, yes?”

“Correct! Or as I prefer to say: ‘affirmaticious’!”

As Zane focused back on his eggs, Angie leaned over to Dave.

“Hey, pssst. Is it possible your buddy’s a bit… I dunno, craxy? He uses words that tobvs don’t exist like all the time!”

Dave grinned. “All great wizards are a bit crazy. He may talk weird, but he’s powerful as hell. Pureblood all the way, traceable to the 11th century, Cherokee blood. I’d be surprised if he doesn’t get chosen for Ilvermorny.”

“Oh…”

Angelica suddenly looked at him in another way. She could certainly see him as a Champion. At least of his school. But up close and personal, when he opened his mouth and spouted his inane drivel, he just didn’t seem all that impressive in spite of the façade of big words and his muscular frame. Even Aveline seemed much more… credible? Was that the word? She wasn’t sure if she needed a thesaurus to compete with this guy, but it all looked so shallow. Still, he seemed like an okay sort, even if he was a try-hard. But craxy he may be, he did seem very powerful. But that wasn’t all you needed to win the Triwizard Cup!

Breakfast proceeded as it usually did, and ended in the same way: with full bellies. But today’s encore was something special: the choosing of the School Champions, those who would compete for the honour of becoming the Triwizard Champion and gain eternal glory! Headmaster Ichabod stood up, as Headmasters Broyeurdos and Hastings looked on, content to let their host do the talking.

“My students! Welcome, once again, to our fellow wizards from Beauxbatons and Ilvermorny. It saddens me to hear that one of our Ilvermorny friends is down with the sickness and has therefore been unable to submit his name in the Cup. But we wish Konrad Raab a speedy recovery nonetheless. At least he isn’t vomiting snails…”

“Ichabod the best! Ichy number one!”

“Fifty more points to House Ravenclaw, Miss Cotton! Now where was I? Oh yes! Welcome to our fellow students. It is now time for the Cup to choose its Champions. Beauxbatons were the first to submit, so Ilvermorny will be the first to be chosen. Take it away!”

The Cup’s flames grew bigger and brighter than ever before. It seemed like it was about to overclock, belching blue flames into the Hall, but they seemed as harmless as they were hot. It spat a piece of parchment from its mouth, which flew into the air before fluttering slowly into Ichabod’s outstretched hand. He cleared his throat and said…

“The Champion of Ilvermorny School of Witchcraft and Wizardry… ZANE SCOTT!!”

Zane rose to his feet, throwing his muscular arms into the air. He was a towering presence, but yet Angelica felt not at all intimidated. He had, after all, exposed himself to her. Not like that, you pervs.
The rest of the American students roared for their Champion, none of which seemed surprised that he was the Chosen One. He walked over to Ichabod with the greatest of respect, bowing his head and knee as he accepted his place on the podium. Headmaster Hastings applauded with great fervour, obviously proud of his school’s stud. Beauxbatons’ Headmaster also applauded, but calmly and gently, like one would for somebody else’s child who got the bronze medal at the 4 x 100 relay in track and field.

Ichabod motioned for silence. It was time for the Beauxbatons’ Champion. A blue-ish belchn and a piece of scorched parchment fluttered into his hand. He cleared his throat once more, and…

“The Champion of Beauxbatons Academy of Magic… Aveline Bordieu!”

Almost the entire Ravenclaw table rose to its feet in rapturous applause, with the exception of one Roxy Cotton. She just rolled her eyes and looked downward, casting her eyes on her SmartParch.

”Ugh…. Figuresssssss! I don’t even care who is Hogs Champ anymore, just go kick that snail-eating, baguette busting garlic stinking bitch’s asssssss!””

Aveline stood up and strode towards the staff table with a fake sense of dignity that made Angelica’s blood boil.

”If she passes by here I’ma sucker punch that ho in the mouth!”

”Easy, Beloved. Someone will soon get revenge on her.”

”On her… And the Flerkins!”

”NOT THE FL… Sigh, whatever you say, Beloved.”

”That’s my Baby!”

Aveline stood beside Zane Scott, sizing him up like an exterminator did a cockroach. She seemed none too impressed. But then again, when did she ever? Johnny Broyeurdos DID seem impressed, applauding frantically while Lord Di… Sorry, Headmaster Hastings applauded like he would for his cousin’s wife having gotten 5th place in a beauty contest. Headmaster Ichabod motioned for silence once again, as the murmurs had crept up. And the whole place fell into silence once more, save for the sound of a few scribbling pens.

“And now… The Champion of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry…”

”IT’S GONNA BE MAYYYYY!”

”OF ALL THE MUGGLE MUSIC I’VE LET YOU LISTEN TO THAT’S THE ONE YOU REMEMBER??? #DIVORCE HOW ABOUT TUPAC JAY-Z AND BIGGIE??

Ichabod caught the last piece of parchment, unfolded it and scraped his throat.

“The champion of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry… ANGELICA! VAUUUUUGHN!”

Angelica didn’t even hear the rapturous applause or the seemingly neverending buzz in her pockets. She could scarcely even believe it. The Mirror had shown it. There was no cheating such old magic. Becoming the World Champion at the Triwizard Tournament was her greatest, deepest, darkest desire. And she had just taken her first step towards that goal…

She felt paralyzed, but it was Dave of all people who shocked her into action by punching her on the tricep and motioning her towards the staff table.

Angelica got up. She looked around the Great Hall, but all she saw were the faces of her friends, really. Sarah applauded and slapped her on the bum as she walked past. Kenzi held up the V-sig in the far distance. Roxy nodded approvingly and mouthed the very distinguishable words of ‘Go kick some ass, bb.’
As she approached the staff table, Ichabod threw his arm around her.

“Well, another Hufflepuff! Let’s hope you end up better than the last one! But Hogwarts’ Champion you are, and for the title you will compete!”

Angelica positioned herself next to Aveline, who was already grinning and talking trash underneath her breath.

“Bonjour, salope. Tu vraiment crois que tu have what eet takes to beat me?”

Zane also remarked.

“It seems that uterus have been extremiously fortuitous. But I looketh forwardest to the greatestioust of challengemoniousses!”

“I don’t just THINK so! And I don’t think I was lucky, either! I earned this! I deserve this! I can say that without losing my humility!”

Ichabod rubbed his hands together as he looked at the excited Great Hall.

“Now that all three Champions have been chosen it’s tradition that the host’s Champion say a few words. Angelica Vaughn of House Hufflepuff, do your thing.”

Wait, what? Angelica wasn’t prepared for this. She had to speak to this entire crowd? She was more used to speaking to small groups who clung to her every word, or her three best friends who ridiculed almost every word she said. Nevertheless, this was not the time to flake or freeze. The biggest prize in the wizarding world was on the line. She had to make a good impression.

She took her wand and aimed it at her throat before whispering the word Sonorus. Her voice would now be amplified a hundred times over.

“People of Hogwarts. Of Beauxbatons. Of Ilvermorny. It is a privilege to stand in front of you, chosen by the most neutral judge imaginable to act as your Champion.
Whilst you are here, you may eat our food. Drink our drinks. Sleep in our beds. Share our classrooms. But we know you’re not merely here to enjoy our hospitality. No, you’re here for one reason and one reason only. To defeat us!
Well, to that I say POO to you with knobs on! We are Hogwarts, Hogwarts, Hoggy Warty Hogwarts! And I was given the right, the honour, the privilege, to defend its stature as the greatest school in Wizardry History! I know many of you have your doubts, but I’ve seen what lies behind the curtain. I have seen the glory that awaits and the eternal fame that accompanies it. And it would be my right. My honour. My privilege… To win the Triwizard Cup and bring it back to where it belongs… the tropy cabinet of Hogwarts! And if I have to go through Aveline Bordieu, so be it! If I have to go through Zane Scott, so be it! One is the most immoral and deplorable person I have met in my entire life, while the other just might be the biggest talker of nonsense I’ve heard since I heard a mermaid down in the Deep Lake talking about how much she’d appreciate it if I’d find her pyjama’s for her.
I am here! I am in it to win it! I will be your Champion and defend you loudly and proudly! No matter if Aveline thinks I’m an inferior version of herself, not matter if Zane Scott thinks I’m a phony trying to trod down on him and his image. He may preach and spout, she may talk and declare, but at the end of the day, it is I who will reign supreme… Not because I desire it. Not because I want the glory and fame. But because I want all of you to share in it! Because I want every single of you to be able to go home and tell a story that you’ll be able to repeat over and over again. To your children. Your grandchildren. Who will in turn pass it on to theirs. That’s why I’m here. THAT is why I’m doing this!”

As Angelica spoke the words, she realized. She believed. The Mirror hadn’t proven her to be selfish. It had merely shown her a means to achieve what she desired above all: to make other people happy. Even if she had to suffer for it.

____░▒▓▓▒░▒▓▓▒░____

“Angie? Whatcha reading?”

Roxy’s voice made Angelica look up from her tablet. They were driving home from Bordy’s birthday party, which had ended rather… awkwardly. She put the tablet to the side and sighed, the overhead rain clattering on the car. It was a rather soothing white noise, but she felt anything but soothed

“Just some fanfiction. It’s like, us, but in the Harry Potter world. Bit weird, but I like it. All fan-made.”

“Sounds nerdy. Wait... You mean to tell me they aren’t paying us to use our likeness?”

Angelica shook her head as the limo taxi drove them to the nearest airport towards Lacklanland.

“There’s no profit involved, Roxy. But it did make me think… Aveline and Zane have been talking about me like I don’t deserve what I have. Bordy said I only am World Champ because Wallace had a bad day, while she has rarely beaten me to begin with. Zane , meanwhile, says I am a phony for hanging out with you! Apparently I can’t be a good person because my friends did or said things he doesn’t agree with! But if Bordy can barely beat me, what kind of competitor does that make her? And if Zane Scott only judges people based on the words and acts of their friends, what kind of judge of character does that make him? I dunno Rox… At times I feel like I don’t deserve this World title… But is it because I have such low self-esteem, or because I estimate others too highly?”

“Hmm, sorry what was that, bb? Just got a text from Vinnie.”

“Right. Professor Lane.”

“Sorry?”

“Never mind…”

Angelica looked out the window. Lord of Trios was upon her. Just like in the fanfic, she was gonna have to go toe to toe with two other bona fide champions. Bordy, the Champion of Chaos. Zane, a decorated Superstar and former Dual Champion.
But she was the WORLD Champion. And she too, was a former Dual Champion. The only one holding her back was herself. But the people deserved to see her reign continue. SHE deserved to see her reign continue. There was no more time to doubt herself. Zane may have tried to plant seeds of disingenuousness, trying to make the people believe she was a fraud… And Bordy would continue to spew her venom until she was buried six feet deep… But Angelica knew… The FANS knew… She deserved this. And she would walk into the match. And walk out of the match. No parlor tricks needed. No magic needed. The reigning and defending UGWC World Champion.

[Roxy Cotton]

I liked this more than actual Harry Potter, which to be fair I never read or watched.

I am a BIG fan of when you do spoof style promos like this, or like the pirate one you did some time ago. I always find them really entertaining and the way you filter the world through Angie's sanitized perception is ALWAYS a blast.

Also, parlor tricks. ABOUT TIME. I don't know what those little divider thingies are between scenes but it works. 

[Jet Somers]

This was chockful of little clever UGWC tidbits that a single read though can't have caught them all. Of course I'm enamored of the source material and your obvious love for it, but I also enjoy how youve continued to portray a wholesome pure face. An opponent would be mistaken to see Angie's "trash" talk sections as oversimplified. To me, she cuts through the melodramatic bullshit the rest of us put on and just says what's true. Well done 👍

Missed opportunity: the goblet should have spat out Dave's name as a tournament judge so Headmaster Ichy could go "DAVE RYDELL!!! DID YA PUT YA NAME IN THE GOBLET O FIYAAAAH?!?!"

[LACKLAN]

Preface: I was not lying or exaggerating how overbooked I was this month. Not even factoring in my work here, this month has included nearly 50k words and a 20-panel comic, and as such I did not read this until today, so I wish to apologize for taking so long.

Allow me to start with the one small negative I have: There is so much "us" in this that people who don't actually read promos on a regular basis will miss many nuances, which I think partially accounts for the score (more on that in a bit). Also, I am saddened that you didn't get a "the right three people" line in here.

So.

This is brilliant and the fact that this isn't at least 7.5, when you look at other promos with that score, is both a crime and telling.

As someone who has read the books a few times, and even those atrocious fan made sequels with Merlin as an ancient druid in them, I can say that you absolutely got the flavor of Potter right. You nailed the Houses, as I have mentioned before how our four completely different personalities, approaches, and takes on both the game and wrestling attribute to our success, and that played out well here. Sar as the evil pure blood she was initially designed to be, Rox as smarter than anyone gives her credit for, Ken as the rule-breaking hero who gets to be more "black" before she gets white-washed by her relationship with Sar, and Angie understanding that friendship is above all.

Zane and Bordy are great examples of how they are viewed by the roster, Rox pandering to Ichabod, so many of the little things OOC in our chat that we've turned into IC, the list goes on.

Bravo, my friend.

[Lord Hastings]

Mar 31, 2019 18:56:21 GMT -5 LACKLAN said:

This is brilliant and the fact that this isn't at least 7.5, when you look at other promos with that score, is both a crime and telling.

I'm not sure what you mean to imply with this, but what I will say on the subject is that it is important to keep in mind that not everybody uses the same scale when they vote. One person's version of a high score is middle of the pack for another, and vice versa. As long as people are consistent within their scale, this is fine. Our pool of voters has shifted over the last several months, and there are multiple members of the roster who elect not to participate in voting, which is an optional part of membership here. Hopefully your schedule in the future will allow you the opportunity to vote and have your opinion be reflected in next month's scores.

That this roleplay did not score a 7.5 is irrelevant. What matters is that it was the highest scoring roleplay of the event, which it certainly deserved to be.

The Goblet of Fire concept I felt fit nicely into the trios theme and didn't feel forced, the takedowns of the opponents were on point and effective. I enjoy Harry Potter, actually watched a bit of the movies today as there was a marathon on, and look forward to reading them to my daughters in a few years when they are old enough. I also think that having previously knowledge of Harry Potter wasn't required, a bonus but it was still enjoyable without it, and that's a big part of why it works. Angie has been refreshing in her run and has represented herself well. This was fun!