Lord Of Trios 2019

[Lord Hastings]

Vinegar: "Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to Lord of Trios!"



Covert Jay: "HUTTAH!"



Vinegar: "We are coming to you live from Danny Fisher Memorial Field, located on 3 Mile Island, in beautiful Dauphin County, Pennsylvania!"



Leiberjosch: "Beautiful, you say? Matter of opinion, I suppose."



Vinegar: "Tonight marks the second Lord of Trios event to occur here within UGWC, with the inaugural event occurring just last year in Milwaukee, Wisconsin."



Covert Jay: "The epic-ness that was last year's Lord of Trios damn near burned the BMO Harris Bradley Center to the ground!"



Lieberjosch: "Jay obviously exaggerates, but last year's inaugural event was indeed a booming success, and at the end of the night, 'The Court' reigned supreme over all others, as they defeated the #CoolKid trio of Milisandre Crowthorne, Roxy Cotton, and Angelica Vaughn."



Vinegar: "And in just one year's time, the landscape has certainly changed. 'The Court' is no more, and while the #CoolKids are once again going to be represented here tonight, their team will be starkly different, too."



Lieberjosch: "That is correct, Nicholas. Later on tonight, the #CoolKids team will be represented by Roxy Cotton, Kenzi Grey-Lacklan, and former Creative Director Donovan Hastings, as they will take on the team of Alan Wallace, Konrad Raab, and the Natural Born Killer."



Covert Jay: "Gotta believe that NBK is gonna be on a friggin' tear here tonight. Can you imagine that guy, with no sugar in his system?! Fuck diabetes!"



Lieberjosch: "Yes, Jay. Indeed. As for Angelica Vaughn, while she will not be representing the #CoolKids in the Trios matches, she will definitely have the most on the line here tonight, as she defends her UGWC World Heavyweight Championship against Le Bord di Dieu and Zane Scott."



Vinegar: "And whichever one of those three individuals end their night as the World Champion, I have to believe that they will be paying close attention to the Lord of Trios Final Match. Because whichever team winds up winning this event, one of those people will be granted a World Championship opportunity, with the other two members being granted a Cooperative Championship Match. There is quite a lot on the line here tonight, and we are about to find out which team will be first to punch their ticket to the tournament final!"



Lieberjosch: "The newly reformed 'Piercing Media Network' team consisting of Travis Pierce, Jet Somers, and Captain 80's-"



Covert Jay: "YEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"



Lieberjosch: "-will be taking on the team of 'Two Masks, One Phrixus', which consists of Holden Orson, Wrestley McWrestleface, and of course, Phrixus Deimos."



Vinegar: "Mitchell Dennis is entering the ring. Before introductions are to begin, what are the keys for this match in your opinion, Hans?"



Lieberjosch: "It's pretty simple, really. 'The Piercing Weapons' are the most dominant team in UGWC history. They know each other like the back of their hands, and when they're on the same page, both of them seem to know what the other is always thinking. No matter how great Phrixus Deimos has been during his career; no matter how unorthodox the attacks of Holden Orson are; no matter how impressive Wrestley McWrestleface has been during his short time with UGWC; it will take one hell of a team effort for 'Two Masks, One Phrixus' to defeat 'The Piercing Media Network' here tonight."



Covert Jay: "So you're thinking that Team PMN is a lock to make it to the finals, Doc?"



Lieberjosch: "If I were a betting man, I would say yes, Jay."



Covert Jay: "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA, 'if'…"



Lieberjosch: "Shut up, Jay."



Vinegar: "Take it away, Mitchell!"

Mitchell Dennis: "Ladies and Gentlemen, it is time for the opening match of the evening, with the winners of this match moving on to the Lord of Trios Tournament Final in our main event of the evening! This match is scheduled for one fall, with referee Sam Green being the official of record. Introducing first…

Mitchell Dennis: "Weighing in at a total combined weight of six-hundred eighty-five pounds… they are the trio of Travis Pierce, Jet Somers, and Captain 80's… they are the PIERCING MEDIA NETWORK!!!!!"



"Tired" by Stone Sour begins to sound out over the arena as everything falls to black except for the myriad of white spotlights playing out over the crowd. As Corey Taylor yells "I'm alive in here!", the three brightest spotlights suddenly rush to opposite ends of the arena, halfway up to the nosebleed sections. At the top of each stands a member of 'The Piercing Media Network', Travis Pierce, Jet Somers, and Captain 80's. Team PMN begin making their way down through the crowds, receiving slaps on the back and handshakes from the appreciative fans. Somers, Pierce, and the Captain all reach the security barriers at the same time, just as the chorus ends, and each leaps the barrier, then Somers and Pierce heads toward the ring steps on either side of the ring, as Captain 80's slides into the ring under the bottom rope. Pierce and Somers climb the steps and simultaneously enter the ring, and then walk the few short steps to the center of the ring, where they meet Captain 80's and each man shakes hands with the other two. They separate, then cross, and Pierce and Somers each go to the side of the ring opposite from where they entered, as Captain 80's steps up onto the middle rope, situating himself between his partners. All three take a long moment to look out over the crowd, then slowly each raises their hands as if to embrace the entire crowd, which of course goes crazy.



Vinegar: "This place just erupted due to the appearance of 'The Piercing Media Network'! I can barely hear myself think!"



Covert Jay: "Trav and Jet being on the same page again is what most fans have wanted to see for the last couple of years. I think it's awesome!"



Lieberjosch: "I disagree. This is just Somers proving that he can't make it without Travis Pierce."



Vinegar: "Travis is the one who pushed for them to reunite, Hans."



Lieberjosch: "Fake news."



Mitchell Dennis: "And their opponents…"

Mitchell Dennis: "Weighing in at a total combined weight of six-hundred forty-one pounds… they are the trio of Phrixus Deimos, Holden Orson, and Wrestley McWrestleface… they are TWO MASKS, ONE PHRIXUS!!!!!"



As 'Phucking Phreak' begins playing over the sound system, Phrixus Deimos is the first to appear through the curtain. After about twenty seconds, Holden Orson strolls out from the backstage area onto the main ramp, with Waldo nowhere to be found. Highlight clips from Holden's previous feuds, as well as random Jan Wnek sculptures, appear on the Global-Tron as Holden walks out and stands beside of Deimos. The two of them side-eye each other for a moment, before both of them then turn, and Wrestley McWrestleface comes bursting through the curtain, performing all sorts of flippy shit, cart-wheeling and back-flipping all along the stage area. His final flip finds him landing directly between his two partners, where he looks at both of them and smiles, and then the three men make their way down to the ringside area.



Vinegar: "The members of 'Two Masks, One Phrixus' could not be more different, guys, but if they can find a way to work together during this match, they are perfectly capable of advancing to the finals later on tonight."



Lieberjosch: "It'll be a definite uphill battle, and quite frankly, I do not like their chances."



Covert Jay: "Sam Green is going through the pre-match rules for the match, and he has signaled to Claude de Rhombus to officially start this match. And he's ringing the absolute shit out of that bell! Best bell man in the business, right there. Absolute money!"



Vinegar: "Travis and Joe appear to be starting things out for their respective teams. The two men lock up, each jockeying for position."



Lieberjosch: "Pierce uses his strength advantage to shove McWrestleface to the mat. Travis says something to Joe, as 'El Flippy Loco' gets back to his feet and shoots a smile at 'The Icon of Entertainment'."



Covert Jay: "Travis chuckles at Joe's reaction, likely thinking he should go back to the high schools where he belongs."



Vinegar: "They lock up again, this time resulting in Travis maneuvering in behind of Joe and cinching in a hammerlock. Joe reverses, applying a hammerlock of his own, before maneuvering into a side headlock."



Lieberjosch: "Travis backing Joe towards the ropes, grabbing a hold of the top rope, and forcing Sam Green to tell Joe that he has to break the hold."



Vinegar: "Joe releases the hold and takes a few steps back. Travis begins a mocking clap towards Joe, before rearing back and paint-brushing him across the face."



Covert Jay: "Slapped the taste right out of his mouth!"



Lieberjosch: "McWrestleface adjusting his mask, as Travis Pierce simply smiles at him."



Vinegar: "Straight right hand from Joe staggers the surprised Travis, and he reaches back to grab the top rope, to keep from being knocked on his rear. Numerous forearm shivers catch the jaw of Travis Pierce, and then Wrestley sends him across the ring with an Irish whip."



Lieberjosch: "Running leg lariat from Joe finds its mark, with Travis hitting the mat hard. McWrestleface quickly back to his feet and connects with a somersault leg drop across the throat of Pierce, going for a quick cover, but Travis kicks out before Sam Green can even get into position."



Vinegar: "Joe drives a knee into the middle of Travis' back, before applying a headlock. Travis trying to maneuver Joe's arm slightly to alleviate the pressure, as 'El Flippy Loco' continues applying pressure to Travis's back with that knee."



Covert Jay: "Surprised with all of the flippy shit in his arsenal, that 'New Jersey Joe' has taken to slowing the pace down here in the early going of this match."



Lieberjosch: "No better way to keep an opponent off guard than to perform the unexpected, Jay."



Vinegar: "Joe quickly releases the hold and gets to his feet, sprinting across the ring full speed, and returns to connect with a running dropkick to the back of the head of Travis Pierce."



Vinegar: "McWrestleface makes the cover and hooks the leg."









ONE!!!!!









KICK OUT!!!!!









Lieberjosch: "Snap leg drop connects across the bridge of the nose, and Travis has been unable to get anything going so far in this match."



Vinegar: "McWrestleface drags Pierce back to his feet, whipping him towards the ropes. Travis ducks under a clothesline attempt and stops in his tracks. Boot to the stomach as Joe turns around, and Travis connects with a swinging neck breaker."



Covert Jay: "Travis slowly getting back to his feet, pulling Joe to his once he's at a vertical base. Snap suplex sends 'El Flippy Loco' back down to the mat."



Vinegar: "Travis grabs Joe by the mask and pulls him to his feet. Irish whip to the ropes, and Pierce connects with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker."



Lieberjosch: "McWrestleface slowly working his way back to his feet as he favors his back but is sent face first into the mat as Travis hits a bulldog. Travis rolls him over and goes for the cover…"









ONE!!!!!









TW-KICK OUT!!!!!









Vinegar: "Joe gets the shoulder up just before two, and this match continues."



Covert Jay: "Trav in firm control of this match right now."



Vinegar: "Travis pulling Joe back to his feet, short-armed lariat turns McWrestleface completely inside-out."



Lieberjosch: "Travis positioning Joe, propping him up in the corner. He back-pedals towards the opposite corner, and then makes a beeline across the ring towards Wrestley McWrestleface."



Covert Jay: "DAY-UM!"



Vinegar: "Travis Pierce just drove his knee into the face of Wrestley McWrestleface, and Joe might be out."



Lieberjosch: "Travis dragging Joe out of the corner and drops and makes the cover."









ONE!!!!!









TWO!!!!!









THRE-KICK OUT!!!!!









Vinegar: "No! Wrestley, somehow, found a way to kick out. But he needs to make a tag soon, Hans."



Lieberjosch: "Travis looks very confident right now, Nicholas. McWrestleface is in big trouble right now."



Vinegar: "Travis smiles as he reaches down and grabs the mask of Joe and pulls him back to his feet. He whips him into the corner of the PMN team, and then makes his way over and tags Captain 80’s."



Covert Jay: "And listen to all the First Mates here in Pennsylvania!"



Vinegar: "Travis lands a kick to Joe's midsection, before stepping out onto the apron. 80’s does a full cardio workout just in entering the ring, because he only knows one speed."



Covert Jay: "Full speed ahead, #Falcor!"



Vinegar: "Joe had fallen to his hands and knees, trying to shake loose the cobwebs from that vicious running knee that Travis Pierce connecting with just moments ago. And with The Captain now standing before him, McWrestleface seems to be attempting to use the legs of The Captain in an attempt to get back to his feet."



Covert Jay: "The Captain now almost as if he is helping him the rest of the way to his feet."



Lieberjosch: "And 80's just tossed McWrestleface halfway across the ring. Frightening display of power by Captain 80's."



Vinegar: "Spectacular belly-to-belly suplex that 80’s just performed right there, and Joe landed on the base of his neck."



Lieberjosch: "80’s staying on the attack, as he immediately is over to McWrestleface, pulling him back to his feet. Running powerslam into a pinning attempt."









ONE!!!!!









TWO!!!!!









KICK OUT!!!!!









Vinegar: "80's pulling McWrestleface back to his feet and connects with an atomic drop. Abdominal stretch now applied, and Wrestley is in quite a bit of pain right now."



Lieberjosch: "Captain 80's connecting with clubbing blows to the midsection of McWrestleface, as he continues applying as much pressure as possible with that abdominal stretch."



Covert Jay: "The Captain realizes that Joe isn't about to submit, so he releases the hold, but tosses him back towards the PMN corner with a hip toss."



Vinegar: "Wrestley using the corner to drag himself to his feet but is engulfed by the Captain thanks to a running avalanche that crushes the sternum of Joe into the corner. And Joe falls in a heap."



Covert Jay: "And The Captain just made the tag out to Jet Somers."



Lieberjosch: "Front face lock by Jet, as he pulls Joe to his feet and then lifts him high into the air. He holds him high overhead for close to a half-minute, before dropping him to the mat with a stalling vertical suplex."



Vinegar: "Jet mounting Wrestley now, and it's the patented ground-and-pound attack from Jet Somers. And he is absolutely mauling Wrestley McWrestleface."



Lieberjosch: "Jet then goes for the cover…"









ONE!!!!!









TWO!!!!!









THR-NOOOOOOOO!!!!!









Vinegar: "Phrixus Deimos into the ring to make the save with a boot to the face of Jet, or this one was likely over."



Lieberjosch: "Jet to his feet and he's slowly moving towards Phrixus, but Sam Green steps in between the two men."



Covert Jay: "Jet needs to leave Fear alone and focus on putting Joe away right now."



Lieberjosch: "Joe dragging himself to the ropes, as Jet and Phrixus continue their stare down over the smaller official."



Vinegar: "Joe using the ropes to pull himself to her feet now, as Sam Green is finally able to get Phrixus to exit the ring. Jet turning back towards Joe, and he sees that he is almost to his feet now."



Lieberjosch: "Jet measuring McWrestleface… looks like he is wanting to go for Chok. He connects, and Joe is big, big trouble."



Vinegar: "Jet jumps into the air just as Joe turns back towards him…"



Lieberjosch: "Joe ducked the attempt, and immediately heads towards the opposite ropes."



Vinegar: "Jet turning back towards where Joe ran, and Wrestley connects with a spinning heel kick that catches Jet Somers right in the mouth!"



Lieberjosch: "After all the punishment that he has taken, I'm not sure where McWrestleface was able to pull that move from."



Covert Jay: "Probably his ass."



Lieberjosch: "Classy, Jay."



Vinegar: "Both entertainment professionals are flat on their backs, as the crowd is going nuts cheering for both of these men."



Covert Jay: "Joe trying to get to his corner, slowly crawling, and Jet is beginning to stir."



Lieberjosch: "Somers sees that McWrestleface is getting closer to making a tag, and he is trying to keep him from doing so."



Vinegar: "And just before Jet is able to make the stop, Joe is able to tag out to Phrixus Deimos!"



Lieberjosch: "The man known as Fear is quickly into the ring, and he just sent Somers to the mat with a back elbow."



Vinegar: "These two men have waged many a battle here in UGWC. Will tonight be another storied chapter in their war?"



Lieberjosch: "Deimos just ran over to the corner of The Piercing Media Network, and he leveled both Captain 80’s and Travis Pierce. And both men have been knocked to the floor."



Vinegar: "Somers back to his feet, but Fear hoists him up into a fireman's carry, and then slams him to the mat with a Samoan drop. And now he has applied a Boston Crab!"



Lieberjosch: "He isn't situated all the way back in the hold though, and Somers is desperately attempting to crawl to the ropes."



Vinegar: "He reaches the ropes, and Phrixus is forced to break the submission."



Lieberjosch: "Deimos pulls Somers to his feet, and deposits him overhead with a T-Bone suplex."



Vinegar: "He pulls Jet to his feet once more, moving in behind him, and there's the Numbing. And Fear makes the cover!"









ONE!!!!!









TWO!!!!!









THRE-NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!









Vinegar: "Travis Pierce is able to get back into the ring and make the save, but he just had the spit knocked out of him by a superkick from Holden Orson."



Covert Jay: "The hipster tired of standing over on the apron, I guess. And Trav never saw it coming."



Lieberjosch: "80’s into the ring now, going after Orson, and he has applied Miami Vice."



Covert Jay: "Sam is on the verge of losing complete control of this match, guys."



Vinegar: "Captain 80's applying that patented bearhug of his to Holden Orson, but the problem is that neither man is the legal participant in this match."



Lieberjosch: "Captain 80's might not be aware of that fact. I'm not sure how things work on his Falcor. Hell, he might not be, either."



Covert Jay: "Sam Green trying to pull 80's off of Orson, and he finally does so. And he is directing 80's to get out of the ring."



Lieberjosch: "Deimos just helped with that, as he connected with a running knee to the small of 80's back and sent him careening through the ropes and out to the floor."



Vinegar: "Jet has made his way back to his feet though, and he just connected with Chok! And Fear is down!"



Covert Jay: "Problem is, so is Jet."



Vinegar: "Pierce out on the floor, checking to see if he still has all of his teeth, and Wrestley has entered the ring."



Covert Jay: "I think he's gonna fly, Nick!"



Vinegar: "Wrestley takes off across the ring and jumps… and he cleared the top rope and sent Travis Pierce hard into the steel guardrail with a beautiful moonsault plancha."



Lieberjosch: "Back in the ring, Orson has slid back in and grabbed the arm of Deimos, and he is dragging 'The Embodiment of Fear' to their corner."



Vinegar: "Holden steps back out to the apron, and then reaches out and makes the tag, and Orson is now the legal man."



Covert Jay: "Somers still down on the mat, and Holden sees 80's out on the floor."



Lieberjosch: "Orson takes off running towards that side of the ring, and a baseball slide sends Captain 80's into the Swahili announce table, and I believe The Captain just let out a loud expletive."



Covert Jay: "No, he yelled Falcor. Pay attention, Doc."



Vinegar: "Holden back to his feet again, and he has applied a cloverleaf to Jet."



Covert Jay: "The human body isn't supposed to bend that way I don't think."



Lieberjosch: "He's got it locked in, and Jet needs to find a way out of this hold."



Vinegar: "Somers trying to push his body up to alleviate some of the pressure, while also trying to crawl towards the ropes. And he reaches them!"



Covert Jay: "Holden pulling Jet to his feet, possibly looking for a German suplex, but Jet is able to block it, and then rolls through for a pin attempt, but he grabs the leg of Holden."



Lieberjosch: "Anklelock by Jet!"



Vinegar: "Holden is able to roll through, kicking Jet off of him. Kip up to his feet, and Orson connects with an enziguri that stuns 'The Wild Card'."



Lieberjosch: "Front face lock by Orson and he lifts Jet into the air… Jan Wnek Driver! And he makes the cover!"









ONE!!!!!









TWO!!!!!









THRE-KICK OUT!!!!!









Vinegar: "Somers just able to get his shoulder off the mat, and this match continues!"



Lieberjosch: "Holden tags in Joe, and he heads up to the top rope. Upside Down! And the cover!"









ONE!!!!!









TWO!!!!!









THRE-NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!









Vinegar: "Travis Pierce just able to break up the pin attempt, and Joe slaps the mat in frustration."



Lieberjosch: "Joe to his feet, turning around towards the corner of PMN, but Travis has taken off towards the ropes… The Truth Hurts!"



Vinegar: "Somers slowly crawling to his corner, and Captain 80's has slowly made his way back to the apron, still favoring the small of his back after that baseball slide drove him into the edge of the table."



Lieberjosch: "And Jet makes the tag to The Captain."



Covert Jay: "Joe is out of it, as Travis caught him with all of that running double-knee face breaker. 80's in and makes the cover!"



Vinegar: "Phrix has made his way to the top rope though, and he takes flight and connects with the Meteor Press!"



Lieberjosch: "And that move broke up the pin attempt at the last minute. I honestly thought Captain 80's had the victory for The Piercing Media Network right there."



Vinegar: "80’s running off of the power of the first mates though, and even after taking the brunt of that shooting star press from Fear, he has gotten to his feet and applied Krull to Phrixus Deimos!"



Covert Jay: "Deimos connects with a kick to the breadbasket though, and 80's releases the hold."



Vinegar: "Front face lock by Fear, and he just spiked Captain 80's with a jumping DDT."



Covert Jay: "Jet back into the ring now, Jetstreamer to Deimos that sends him through the ropes and out to the floor!"



Lieberjosch: "Orson now and connects with a jumping clothesline that sends both him and Somers tumbling over the top rope and out to the floor."



Covert Jay: "They both hit extremely hard, and the damn ringside area looks like a friggin' car wreck!"



Vinegar: "Travis Pierce is the only one currently standing, as both McWrestleface and 80's are down in the ring, and Deimos, Somers, and Orson are sprawled out in various stages of pain on the floor."



Lieberjosch: "Pierce pulling McWrestleface to his feet and shoots him to the ropes. Wrestley ducks under a clothesline attempt."



Vinegar: "McWrestleface jumps, springs off the middle rope, and after adjusting in mid-air, connects with Inside Out onto Pierce."



Covert Jay: "Trav went face-first into the mat at a very high rate of speed, and he's in La-La Land!"



Vinegar: "Crowd really behind Wrestley right now, and The Captain is stirring."



Lieberjosch: "McWrestleface heading to the top, and connects with Upside Down onto Captain 80's."



Covert Jay: "And he's heading back up top. He's running on pure adrenaline right now!"



Vinegar: "McWrestleface surveying the landscape before him, and he sees both Travis Pierce and Jet Somers beginning to stir on the outside… he's calling for it!"



Lieberjosch: "Round and Round onto Captain 80's!"



Covert Jay: "And the cover!"









ONE!!!!!









TWO!!!!!









THREE!!!!!









Vinegar: "Both Pierce and Somers slid into the ring and dove to break up the pin attempt, but Sam Green's hand slapped the mat for the third time! This match is over!"



Mitchell Dennis: "Ladies and Gentlemen, the winners of this match… and moving on to the Tournament Final Match… 'TWO MASKS, ONE PHRIXUS!!!!!"



Vinegar: "And excellent match to open our night, and the trio of Deimos, Orson, and McWrestleface find themselves moving on to face either 'Team Ego', or 'The Lords of Cool'!"



Covert Jay: "One hell of a match, and both Trav and Opie were inches away from breaking up that pin attempt. Unbelievable!"



Lieberjosch: "'Two Masts, One Phrixus' won't have long to wait to find out who they will square off against at the end of the night, because our next tournament semi-final match is coming up next!"


The Piercing Media Network - 6.87

[Lord Hastings]

Vinegar: It’s time for the second Lord of Trios Semi Final Match as two quite frankly odd teams face off to see who faces the winner of the first Lord of Trio Semi-Final.

Lieberjosch: “Odd” is accurate. Especially “Team Ego”. Not too long ago, “Vain” would have had actually useful teammates. Now he gets Konrad Raab and UGWC’s former cake fetishist.

Vinegar: That’s a strange, yet uncomfortably accurate way of describing the Natural Born Killer.

Lieberjosch: Natural Born Killer makes everyone uncomfortable.

Covert Jay: I like cake.

Lieberjosch: Go back to sleep.

Mitchell Dennis: Ladies and gentlemen it’s time for the SECOND Semi-Final match in the LORD OF TRIOS TOURNAMENT. Entering first...



"Connection" by Elastica plays as the sub-group of the #CoolKids known as "The Clear Connection" of Roxy Cotton and Kenzi Grey emerge through the entranceway, accompanied by their bodyguard, the massive Maxine. The two bounce around one another all the way down the ramp as the irreverent techno tune blasts throughout the arena. The duo pause outside at ringside, then roll into the ring together as they ascend the turnbuckles at opposite sides of the ring, eliciting both boos and cheers from the rabid fans as Maxine takes her place at ringside.

Mitchell Dennis: And their partner...



Hastings wears a dark cloak to the ring. When he comes out he pauses on the stage and opens his arms to the adoring peasantry. He soaks the moment in and then proceeds to the ring.

Mitchell Dennis: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THEY ARE “THE LORDS OF COOL”!!

Vinegar: Kenzi doesn’t look happy to see her Co-Operative partner.

Lieberjosch: They’re not really a team. Just a lucky partnership.

Vinegar: They’re enough of a team to have won the Co-Operative Championships together.

Lieberjosch: All thanks to the genius of “The Lord Chief”.

Vinegar: You see it that way. Kenzi has accomplished a lot, including a previous Co-Operative Championship reign.

Covert Jay: Mitchell is ready to introduce the next team.

Mitchell Dennis: AND THEIR OPPONENTS...



The lights go out, and stay out for a few seconds, before a lone spotlight begins to shine down upon the stage. As the music first starts out, fireworks go off around the area that the spotlight showcases. Up through the flooring of the stage rises 'Vain' Alan Wallace - a buxom blonde standing to his left, and a gorgeous brunette standing to his right. As the lift that they are being raised by comes to a stop, the two women drop to their knees and turn towards him, running their hands down his chest and abs, before giving each other a kiss. Vain tosses the hood of his robe back, revealing that beautiful money maker of his, and then throws his arms up in the air as he begins walking towards the ring, and his two harlots make their way backstage. Upon entering the ring, he spins around in a circle with his arms raised high, basking in the reaction of the people. He then prepares for his partners to arrive as he ignores the taunts from the other side of the ring.

Mitchell Dennis: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, HE IS “VAIN” ALAN WALLACE!

Vinegar: Alan Wallace looks as focused as I’ve seen him.

Lieberjosch: Of course he does, if he can drag this...team to a victory in the tournament, he gets a shot at the World Heavyweight Championship that he lost to Angelica Vaughn.

Vinegar: IF that’s what they choose.

Lieberjosch: Don’t be absurd. Who else would get the World Championship match? Raab? The Cake Whisperer? Please.

Vinegar: Our current Creative Director loves chaos. Just think of the chaos that would come from him giving the World Championship match to Konrad Raab.

Lieberjosch: Perish the thought. Even Ichabod wouldn’t do that.

Vinegar: We’ll see. Let’s go back to Mitchell for the introductions of “The Iceman” and the Natural Born Killer.

Mitchell Dennis: AND HIS PARTNERS...



“Cold as Ice” by M.O.P plays over the sound system as Konrad comes out through the curtain just wearing his blue and white mask with white hair along with his wrestling trousers with his nickname The Iceman on the front of them with Pit Bull Energy logos on the side of his trousers with black gloves on both of his hands with a side cross necklace on his neck.

Mitchell Dennis: “From Cologne, Germany, he is The Iceman, Konrad Raab!”

Vinegar: Wallace looks really unhappy to have Raab as a partner.

Lieberjosch: Need I even explain this? If not for Simon, this wouldn’t be happening.

Vinegar: Konrad Raab has had a tough time getting wins, but he took Wallace to his limit twice and came within seconds of claiming the Cross-Hemisphere Championship last week.

Lieberjosch: But he didn’t, and that’s what matters.

Vinegar: You just refuse to give him credit.

Lieberjosch: When he does something worthy of credit, I’ll give it to him.

Vinegar: If he’d won the Cross-Hemisphere Championship, what would you have said?

Lieberjosch: Dumb luck.

Vinegar: I rest my case. Now be quiet, Mitchell is about to introduce the Natural Born Killer.

Mitchell Dennis: And their partner...



Natural Born Killer steps out from behind the curtain and walks to the ring. He doesn’t react to the crowd at all. He walks to his corner and stands silently, seemingly disinterested in everything around him.

Mitchell Dennis: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, HE IS THE NATURAL BORN KILLER!!!

Vinegar: Both teams are ready and we’re going to start with Konrad Raab and Donovan Hastings.

Lieberjosch: “Vain” is a strategic genius.

Vinegar: How do you figure?

Lieberjosch: He’s sending the weakest member of his team in first.

Covert Jay: How does that help? Doesn’t that put them at the risk of losing quickly?

Lieberjosch: No. “Vain” has a plan for that. It makes all of the sense in the world to send Raab in first. He can spend a few minutes taking a beating and tiring the other team out, then “Vain” can send in Natural Born Killer to throw them around and “Vain” can pick the bones and take an easy win with a minimum of effort.

Vinegar: What makes you think that Donovan and The Clear Connection won’t see through that?

Lieberjosch: It won’t matter if they do. “Vain” is already ten steps ahead of them.

Vinegar: That remains to be seen.

Covert Jay: Super Kick by Hastings!

Lieberjosch: He poked Raab in the eyes. Stop being an idiot.

Covert Jay: He calls it the “Super Kick”.

Lieberjosch: He also spent his entire year as Creative Director wearing a giant Captain’s hat and just got a face wash from a man’s rear end.

Covert Jay: Don’t judge..

Lieberjosch: I’m not “judging”, although if I wanted to, I would.

Vinegar: Hazel just warned Hastings against doing that again, while both members of the “Clear Connection” stand on the apron and laugh at Rydell, who is flailing around...

Lieberjosch: Like a suffocating fish.

Vinegar: That’s not what I was going to say.

Lieberjosch: Of course not, you’d have been nice.

Vinegar: I would have. Hastings follows up his eye poke…

Covert Jay: Super Kick.

Vinegar: Whatever. Hastings follows it up with a neckbreaker and a pair of standing forearm drops across Raab’s face. “Vain” yells at Raab from the apron, but I’d hardly call it “encouragement”.

Lieberjosch: His job isn’t to motivate Raab. If Raab isn’t motivated, he doesn’t belong here.

Vinegar: You’re hardly objective about him.

Lieberjosch: I’m honest.

Vinegar: You’re biased.

Covert Jay: Whatever you two are, Raab is in a lot of trouble.

Vinegar: Jay is right. Hastings continues to hammer away at his head as he’s pulled him up and thrown him into the turnbuckle. He runs up and drives a knee into the back of Raab’s head, then contemptuously throws him down to the canvas by his hair.

Lieberjosch: Hastings has overwhelmed Raab from the start. It’s been quite a show.

Vinegar: He poked him in the eyes. It’s hard to fight when you can’t see.

Lieberjosch: That’s true, but it leveled the playing field against Raab, who is an active competitor.

Vinegar: He cheated.

Lieberjosch: He showed guile, which is something that Raab knows nothing about.

Vinegar: He cheated and he’s taken full advantage of it since. At the moment he’s barraging Raab with punches in the corner.

Lieberjosch: I’m sure that he has a plan, but he has to be careful that Hazel doesn’t disqualify him.

Covert Jay: Am I seeing things, or does it look like NBK is starting to get a little antsy?

Vinegar: That’s one way of putting it…

Lieberjosch: He’s...fidgeting...a lot.

Vinegar: Yeah...and “Vain” isn’t doing anything to calm him down.

Lieberjosch: Why would he? As long as he can control NBK when it matters, why not let him go off a little now?

Vinegar: Because he might not be able to control him…

Lieberjosch: “Vain” has a plan. “Vain” always has a plan.

Vinegar: Hastings drags Raab out of the corner and pulls him up…

Covert Jay: Spinebuster!

Vinegar: Hastings turns and looks to his corner, where both Kenzi and Roxy look like they’re chomping at the bit to inflict further damage on Raab.

Lieberjosch: Why not? He’s helpless. They might as well take advantage of it.

Vinegar: Hastings takes a step towards his corner and both of his...partners...begin to wildly point behind him.

Lieberjosch: Uh,,,Donovan…

Vinegar: Hastings keeps telling them to relax.

Covert Jay: I don’t think he should…

Lieberjosch: For once I agree with you…

Vinegar: Hastings keeps laughing them off…

Lieberjosch: He’s not going to for long.

Covert Jay: They keep yelling at him to turn around, but he keeps laughing it off as he drives stomp after stomp into the side of Raab’s head.

Vinegar: Hazel begins to count the five count to break him off.

Lieberjosch: She’s not going to have to!

Vinegar: NBK grabs Hastings from behind and whirls him around…

Covert Jay: CLOTHESLINE!!!

Lieberjosch: Good god that looked painful. He spun Hastings around in the air and “The Lord of Pain” is not a small man.

Vinegar: Hazel gets in front og NBK and orders him back to his corner. “The Most Dangerous Rumor You’ve Ever Heard” just looks at her as if he wants to turn her inside out.

Lieberjosch: Kenzi and Roxy wisely use the opportunity to grab “The Lord Chief” by his wrist and pull him back to their corner before they step back out.

Vinegar: “Vain” tells the Natural Born Killer to come back and oddly, he seems to be listening to the former World Heavyweight Champion.

Lieberjosch: Future.

Vinegar: What?

Lieberjosch: You said “former” instead of “future” World Heavyweight Champion.

Vinegar: Would you stop?

Lieberjosch: Could you be right? If you were, I wouldn’t have to correct you.

Covert Jay: Raab is crawling towards his corner and NBK looks like he wants in.

Vinegar: Wallace looks like he’d rather be anywhere else.

Lieberjosch: If you were in his shoes, wouldn’t you feel the same? He should be in the World Championship match, not teaming with a lunatic and a professional loser!

Vinegar: The one you refer to as a “professional loser”, took the former World Champion to his limit meer weeks ago and came within seconds of winning the Cross-Hemisphere Championship.

Lieberjosch: “Almost”. You know the old saying about “almost”.

Vinegar: I do. You’re “almost” a decent person sometimes. At any rate, Hastings reaches up, slumped in his corner and tags Roxy in just in time for Hazel to turn around and see it. She leaps into the ring and quickly pulls Raab back to center ring. She backs up to the rope and smiles as Raab struggles to get to his feet.

Lieberjosch: If Raab was smart, he’d try to roll out of the ring. He’s proven in the past that he’s not smart, so...

Vinegar: What is your problem with Raab? He’s honorable, he’s a hard worker and he loves what he does. The fans are starting to really adore him.

Lieberjosch: That. All of that. Well, except for the “hard work” part.

Vinegar: Sometimes I really don’t get you.

Covert Jay: I don’t get him either.

Lieberjosch: That’s because you’re an idiot.

Vinegar: Thanks.

Lieberjosch: Not you, Nick, although you’re being stupid about this.

Vinegar: Wrestling doesn’t have a lot ot true “good guys” left.

Lieberjosch: I don’t see a problem with that.

Vinegar: Of course you don’t. Raab finally crawls to his knees...Roxy bolts from the ropes…

Covert Jay: Running knee strike!

Vinegar: She caught him right in the side of the head!

Lieberjosch: Raab is out!

Vinegar: Roxy drops for the pin. One!

Lieberjosch: Two!

Vinegar: NBK breaks it up!

Covert Jay: He just picked her up and threw her across the ring by her hair!

Lieberjosch: Do your job, East!

Vinegar: Hazel orders NBK back to his corner as “Vain” smirks from the apron. NBK walks back to his corner…

Lieberjosch: Chop block by Kenzi!

Vinegar: NBK was half way through the ropes when Kenzi hit him! NBK slams down onto the mat and rolls out to the floor!

Covert Jay: Flying funbags!

Vinegar: JAY!

Covert Jay: What? Roxy just dropped an elbow onto NBK from the apron.

Vinegar: We all saw that. You didn’t need to describe it that way!

Lieberjosch: It was hardly an inaccurate description, Nicholas.

Vinegar: It was unnecessarily crass.

Lieberjosch: When have we ever worried about being crass?

Covert Jay: You said “hard”.

Vinegar and Lieberjosch: Shut up, Jay!

Covert Jay: You two are no fun.

Vinegar: Hastings uses the distraction from Kenzi and Roxy to pull Raab back to their corner and lay in a few cheap shots. “Vain” hasn’t lifted a finger to help. Doesn’t he want to win?

Lieberjosch: It’s all a strategy. He’ll do what’s best for his team when the time is right.

Vinegar: Is he paying you for all of this free PR?

Lieberjosch: He doesn’t have to. Greatness deserves to be lauded.

Vinegar: What about Hastings?

Lieberjosch: He’s good too. If it was Hastings against Vain, I’d be a lot more interested.

Vinegar: You’re impossible.

Lieberjosch: I’m brilliant.

Vinegar: Hazel finally gets Kenzi back to her own corner and looks suspiciously at Hastings, who puts his hands up and professes his innosense. She warns him to keep his hand on the tag rope and he flashes an angelic smile at her in return.

Lieberjosch: “The Lord Chief” has a plan. “The Lord Chief” always has a plan.

Vinegar: Roxy pulls Raab up and tags Kenzi, who steps through the ropes and proceeds to put the boots to Raab in their corner.

Lieberjosch: I think you mean “stomp the hell out of” Raab.

Vinegar: The two women pull Raab up and whip him across the ring. He bounces off of the ropes and Hazel signals for a tag. Kenzi and Roxy connect with a double neckbreaker.

Covert Jay: That’s the flattest Roxy has ever been!

Vinegar: Wallace slams Roxy down onto her face with a leaping guillotine leg drop, then kips up in the face of the surprised Kenzi!

Lieberjosch: See, I told you he has a plan.

Vinegar: You said that about Hastings. “Curtain Call” to Kenzi! Wallace kips up again, grabs Roxy and throws her from the ring, then turns and tags NBK before he steps from the ring. He made no attempt to pull Raab out of harm’s way.

Lieberjosch: He’s teaching Raab self reliance. Raab should thank him for tagging in and saving him.

Vinegar: You’re a real piece of work.

Covert Jay: “Vain” just tagged out!

Lieberjosch: Genius!

Vinegar: Are you serious?

Lieberjosch: Of course. He hurt both Kenzi and Roxy and saved Raab.

Vinegar: He didn’t do a thing to Hastings.

Lieberjosch: Hastings didn’t put himself in harm’s way.

Vinegar: He could have run across the ring and hit him.

Lieberjosch: Are you advocating that he cheat?

Vinegar: Of course not.

Lieberjosch: And yet that’s what it sounds like.

Vinegar: Natural Born Killer steps into the ring. He stalks over to Kenzi and roughly yanks her up by her head. He laughs menacingly at her and then throws her overhead and across the ring. She slams down in the corner across from his and begins to viciously stomp her, then drives his knee into the side of her head.

Covert Jay: Hm. That’s weird.

Vinegar: What?

Covert Jay: He’s not showing any ring rust.

Lieberjosch: Overwhelming violence doesn’t require much by way of technique.

Vinegar: That’s a reasonable point.

Covert Jay: He’s really going to town on Kenzi.

Vinegar: NBK pulls Kenzi up and lays into her with a series stiff headbutts. Every time she slumps down into the corner, he pulls her up and resumes pounding her back down into the corner again.

Lieberjosch: His strategy, if you can call it that, is proving to be quite effective.

Vinegar: NBK pulls Kenzi up for a fourth time, rears back and drives a hammering sledge style fist strike into her chest.

Covert Jay: Here comes Roxy!

Lieberjosch: There goes Roxy!

Vinegar: NBK saw her coming and backdrops her over the top rope to the floor, then resumes his assault on Kenzi with a vicious choke in the corner.

Covert Jay: “Cherry Popper” by “Vain” to Roxy onto the floor!

Lieberjosch: What is that idiot Raab doing?

Vinegar: He appears to have taken exception to Wallace’s cheap shot on Roxy.

Lieberjosch: His “boy scout” routine is going to cause them to lose this match.

Vinegar: Wallace walks over to their corner and pulls himself up onto the apron as Raab follows along behind him. He’s really giving him an earful.

Lieberjosch: He needs to shut up before Roxy hears him and disqualifies them.

Vinegar: Back in the ring, Kenzi has managed to crawl away from NBK after she countered an attempt to grab her with an enziguri. NBK drops to one knee and eats a shotgun dropkick.

Covert Jay: Both of them are down!

Lieberjosch: That’s very observant, Jay.

Vinegar: Roxy is still down on the floor while Hastings gently leans over and offers his hand to

Kenzi. Neither she nor NBK has moved so far.

Lieberjosch: Raab is leaping up and down on the mat like an idiot.

Vinegar: He wants back in.

Lieberjosch: “Vain” is likely quite happy to let him.

Vinegar: Of course he is. In the ring, both NBK and Kenzi are inching towards their respective corners.

Covert Jay: The first one to make the tag gets the advantage!

Lieberjosch: Very good, Jay. That’s how this works.

Vinegar: Both leap from the mat. NBK tags “Vain”, who looks incredibly annoyed by it. He steps into the ring right as Kenzi tags in Hastings. “The Lord of Pain” steps in and smiles at Wallace.

Lieberjosch: “Vain” looks profoundly bored.

Vinegar: Oh come on!

Lieberjosch: Genius!

Vinegar: That coward!

Lieberjosch: Raab wanted in. “Vain” just gave him what he wanted.

Vinegar: Unbelievable. As soon as Hastings stepped in, Wallace turned and tagged Raab in!

Lieberjosch: You could call it a “tag”.

Vinegar: Ok. He slapped him in the face.

Lieberjosch: Yes he did, and Hazel just counted it as a tag.

Covert Jay: Raab actually looks a bit pissed.

Vinegar: Wouldn’t you be if someone slapped you in the face?

Covert Jay: No.

Vinegar: Seriously?

Covert Jay: Of course.

Vinegar: Someone could slap you in the face and you wouldn’t care? Why not, is your mask padded?

Covert Jay: No.

Lieberjosch: It’s because he’s a delusional imbecile..

Covert Ninja: It’s because I’m a Ninja. They’d never get near me.

Lieberjosch: Would you care to let me test that?

Covert Jay: No.

Lieberjosch: Coward.

Covert Jay: We have a broadcast to do.

Lieberjosch: That’s a convenient excuse.

Vinegar: Would you two stop?! Raab just stepped into the ring and Hastings smiles again. He gestures at Raab to come at him.

Lieberjosch: I hope that Raab packed a lunch…

Vinegar: Was that an eating disorder joke?

Lieberjosch: Maybe.

Vinegar: ...

Covert Jay: ...

Lisberjosch: I thought it was funny.

Vinegar: ...

Covert Jay: ...

Lieberjosch: Fine. You two have no sense of humor.

Vinegar: Quit while you’re ahead, Hans.

Covert Jay: Yeah man, not cool.

Vinegar: Hastings and Raab pace around each other, then lock up. Hastings ducks behind him and shoves him in the back, which draws mocking laughter from his partners and an eye roll from Wallace.

Lieberjosch: How embarrassing.

Vinegar: Raab shrugs off the push and turns around. He and Hastings go to lock up again. Hastings lunges forward...is he seriously going for an eye poke right in front of Hazel East? He’s smarter than that.

Covert Jay: Syke!

Lieberjosch: Nice fake out by “The Lord Chief”. He continues to be five steps ahead of his German counterpart.

Vinegar: Hastings follows the fake eye poke with a kick to Raab’s right knee, which staggers “The Iceman”.

Lieberjosch: Maybe “Frostbite Fred” would be better than “The Iceman”.

Vinegar: Could you pretend to be objective, even for a few minutes?

Lieberjosch: No. I won’t lie. I’m a serious analyst.

Vinegar: You’re being an ass. Speaking of “asses”, Hastings follows up the kick to Raab’s knee with a second one that drops him to one knee. Raab looks up just in time to eat a massive boot from Hastings.

Lieberjosch: Well, at least we know that he ate today.

Vinegar: Can it with the eating disorder jokes.

Lieberjosch: “Can it”, good one Nicky!

Vinegar: Shut it. Enough is enough.

Covert Jay: Seriously, Doc. Not at all cool.

Vinegar: Hastings pulls

Lieberjosch: You mean “scrapes”, like a pancake off of a pan.

Vinegar: Anyway, Hastings pulls Raab off of the mat and hits him with a gutbuster that he transitions into a facebreaker DDT. Raab flips off of Hastings and crashes to the mat as Hastings pulls him up and connects with a neckbreaker, then tags Roxy. She leaps off and connects with a moonsault, then tags Kenzi. Kenzi leaps over the top rope and the two women wait as Raab slowly struggles to get to his feet.

Lieberjosch: It looks like they’re getting ready to put him away.

Vinegar: Leaping guillotine leg drop from Roxy, followed by a curb stomp from Kenzi!

Lieberjosch: “Flat Earth Theory”!

Vinegar: Are you ok, Hans? You look like you just swallowed a turd.

Lieberjosch: I just said...that idiotic conspiracy theory move name of theirs. I feel so...dirty.

Vinegar: Take a minute. I’ve got you covered.

Lieberjosch: Thanks…

Vinegar: Kenzi drops into the cover as Hazel drops to the mat.

Covert Jay: One!

Fans: Two!

Vinegar: NBK yanks Kenzi from on top of Raab...cradle piledriver!

Covert Jay: Meteora from Roxy!

Vinegar: She pops up and looks for Raab…

Covert Jay: “Ice Storm”! Roxy is down!

Vinegar: Hastings spins Raab around and drives his foot into Raab’s stomach…”Destiny’s Call”! Hastings spins around in anticipation of an attack from Wallace, but the former World Champion is still on the outside and responds with a mocking clap. Hazel tells Hastings to get back to his corner outside the ring.

Covert Jay: It looks like a car crash in there.

Lieberjosch: Leave it up to you to resort to a cheap visual cliche.

Vinegar: Hastings steps back out, but not before he poses over Raab. Wallace’s behavior tonight is disgusting. He won’t do anything to help his partners.

Lieberjosch: They’re not his “partners”. They’re “the help” and I already explained to you that it’s a strategy.

Vinegar: That’s both demeaning and too easy of an explanation.

Lieberjosch: It’s the truth.

Covert Jay: No one is moving.

Vinegar: Not yet. The only two standing are the former “Puppet Masters”, Alan Wallace and Donovan Hastings.

Lieberjosch: You mean “The Vain Lord” and “The Lord Chief”.

Covert Jay: Is this some kind of plan by them?

Lieberjosch: No. Wait, plan for what, exactly?

Covert Jay: So they can form the awesome tag team “The Chief Lords of Vanity”.

Lieberjosch: I don’t know whether I want to slap you for proposing something so conspiratorially stupid, or applaud you for what’s quite frankly a really clever team name.

Vinegar: I’m not sure how, but Rabb is the first one to start moving. If he can get to Wallace, they can take over the match.

Lieberjosch: Kenzi is still down from that cradle piledriver from Natural Born Killer, who is half hanging from the apron while Roxy is down on the floor outside the ring. Thankfully for her, she rolled out to her own side.

Vinegar: Raab is beginning to inch towards his corner, while Kenzi is just starting to stir.

Covert Jay: Did “Vain” just yawn?

Lieberjosch: It looked like a yawn to me.

Vinegar: Raab lunges forward and slaps Wallace on the arm. The former World Champion looks annoyed but steps into the ring. Meanwhile, Kenzi is about to reach Hastings while NBK has pulled himself up onto the apron in their corner and Roxy is pulling herself back to her feet on the outside.

Lieberjosch: Ha!

Vinegar: That son of a bitch!

Lieberjosch: Brilliant! He waited until Kenzi tagged in Hastings, the promptly turned and tagged Raab back in!

Vinegar: You have to be kidding me! Raab can barely stand right now!

Covert Jay: Wow. He really doesn’t want any part of this match!

Lieberjosch: Not in the slightest.

Vinegar: Raab shoots Wallace an angry glare but steps back into the ring just as Hastings does. He takes a step forward and pauses.

Covert Jay: I think NBK just tagged himself in.

Lieberjosch: “Vain” does not look amused as NBK steps into the ring and Raab steps back out.

Vinegar: NBK blitzes at Hastings, who is almost caught off guard by it but manages to counter with a last second hip toss. NBK springs back to his feet and swings wildly at the former Creative Director, but Hastings ducks under it and comes back up with an arrogant smile.

Lieberjosch: He didn’t dodge that!

Vinegar: A sucker punch from Wallace as he hits Hastings with a chop block before he’s sent from the ring by Hazel.

Lieberjosch: NBK looks a bit confused, at least based on his body language.

Covert Jay: I was going to ask you how you could tell.

Lieberjosch: Now you don’t. Hooray for me.

Vinegar: NBK hauls Hastings up by his throat, which draws an admonishment from Hazel East. He looks at her with a slightly turned head for a second, then throws Hastings up onto his shoulder, dashes across the ring and connects with a thunderous powerslam. Hastings arches his back in pain, but doesn’t get a second to get free as NBK drops a headbutt into Hastings’ chest, then lays him out with a stiff clothesline.

Lieberjosch: “The Lord Chief” had this in hand until “The Vain One” hit him with that chop block.

Vinegar: NBK pulls Hastings to his feet but Hastings gets a sudden burst of energy and drives him back first into the corner. Unfortunately for Hastings, it’s Wallace’s corner. NBK lands a clubbing forearm across Hastings back and Hastings arches back and stumbles backward into the ring. Wallace leaps up onto the ropes and flattens Hastings with a flying clothesline.

Lieberjosch: He looks like he’s in top form.

Vinegar: He should be, he hasn’t done much of anything.

Lieberjosch: He’s a strategic genius. He’s still fresh and everyone else is tired.

Vinegar: Wallace pulls Hastings up and drives him into the mat with a piledriver, then drags him over to his own corner and tags Raab back in. Wallace steps through the ropes and drops to the floor, then wipes his forehead as if he’s exhausted. Raab steps through and immediately lands a succession of belly-to-back suplexes on Hastings, then backs Hastings into the corner with a series of boxing body blows that he punctuates with a European uppercut.

Lieberjosch: Come on, Hastings!

Covert Jay: Sneak attack by Kenzi!

Vinegar: Raab side-steps it and Kenzi crashes into Hastings!

Covert Jay: A meeting of the minds!

Lieberjosch: Oh no!

Vinegar: Kenzi falls from the ring to the floor and she looks completely out of it!

Lieberjosch: I think her head bounced off of the apron on the way down! Someone get a medic!

Vinegar: Raab backs to center ring and waits for Hastings to stagger out after him…

Lieberjosch: Come on, Lord Chief! Don’t let it end this way!

Vinegar: Hastings staggers out and Raab scoops him up...Emerald Flowsion!

Lieberjosch: It can’t end this way!

Vinegar: Raab pulls Hastings back into the corner and backs up onto the turnbuckle. He pulls Hastings up after him...turnbuckle powerbomb! Raab drops into the cover…

Covert Jay: ONE!!

Fans: TWO!!

Vinegar: This would be a huge upset! THRE….HASTINGS KICKS OUT!

Lieberjosch: YES!!!

Vinegar: Raab pulls Hastings up and grabs him by the throat…

Covert Jay: ICEINATOR!!!

Vinegar: Raab drops for the pin…

Fans: ONE!!

Vinegar: TWO!!!

Lieberjosch: God no...not like this!

Fans: THRE...OHHHHH!!!!!

Vinegar: Roxy breaks it up with a flying knee strike to Raab’s head! She pulls him up...DOUBLE D-DT!!

Covert Jay: Hazel just threatened to disqualify her if she doesn’t get out of the ring!

Lieberjosch: FIX!!! Hazel is trying to hand a win to Raab!

Vinegar: Would you shut up?! She is not! Roxy isn’t the legal competitor!

Covert Jay: She’s the hottest competitor! Look at those…

Vinegar and Lieberjosch: Quiet!!

Covert Jay: I was going to say feet.

Lieberjosch: You..wait..what?

Vinegar: Roxy steps out of the ring and both Hastings and Raab remain laid out in the ring!

Covert Jay: NBK is all wound up again! He might go off at any second!

Vinegar: He’s pacing back and forth across the apron and it appears to be distracting Hazel, who keeps telling him to get back to his corner.

Lieberjosch: Control him, you idiot!

Vinegar: Roxy uses the distraction to pull Hastings a little closer to their corner.

Covert Jay: Raab is almost to his corner!

Vinegar: Raab reaches up and tags Natural Born Killer in right as Hastings is about to tax Roxy in! Wait a minute!

Fans: Ohhhh!!!

Vinegar: Wallace just took Kenzi out on the outside with a vicious chair shot. Roxy turns and looks towards him right as Hastings reaches up for the tag, then drops off of the ring and advances on Wallace. He throws the chair at Roxy, who catches it right as Hazel turns around and Wallace drops to the floor, holding his head!

Lieberjosch: Bait and switch! Genius!

Vinegar: Roxy immediately throws the chair down and protests her innosense. Hastings yells at Hazel, which she responds to with a scowl.

Lieberjosch: I think he told her to stop being stupid, and I completely agree with him!

Vinegar: Duly noted. Hazel tells Hastings to mind his business and he goes to reply when he’s grabbed from behind by NBK and drilled into the mat with a cradle piledriver. He pulls Hastings up and throws him into the far corner. Hastings bounces off of it as NBK comes back towards him…”Rumour Has It”!!!

Lieberjosch: This is certainly a throwback…

Vinegar: NBK drops into the cover…

Lieberjosch: One!

Vinegar: Two!!

Lieberjosch: Roxy with the save!

Vinegar: A simple kick to the back of his head!

Lieberjosch: Simple, but effective.

Vinegar: Hazel backs her from the ring as NBK leaps to his feet. He begins to barrage Hastings with lefts and rights. He rains them down increasing ferocity.

Lieberjosch: And an increasing lack of self-control.

Vinegar: Hazel begins the five count, but NBK isn’t listening! He continues his assualt!

Covert Jay: Here comes Raab!

Vinegar: He’s trying to pull NBK off...

Covert Jay: Uh oh...

Lieberjosch: NBK looks like he’s snapped. That’s disastrous for Raab!

Vinegar: NBK just clotheslined his own partner!

Lieberjosch: He’s backing up...

Vinegar: Rumour Has It!! He just send Raab flying from the ring! He crashes into Kenzi on his way out and sends them both into the barrier! Meanwhile, Hastings has tagged Roxy in!

Lieberjosch: I don’t know whether to cheer Raab getting blasted, or lament that team that “The Vain One” put together is imploding in front of him.

Vinegar: You’d better figure it out soon. NBK turns and looks towards Hastings.

Covert Jay: Meteora by Roxy!

Vinegar: NBK is down! Roxy leaps up, jumps onto the turnbuckle and comes flying off. She lands a double knee strike to NBK’s midsection and rolls off, then leaps up and comes crashing down across his stomach with a moonsault. She has NBK reeling!

Lieberjosch: She has to press the advantage here. She’s so close to victory!

Vinegar: Roxy jumps back up onto the top rope and waits as NBK slowly starts to stir.

Lieberjosch: The fact that he’s conscious after all of that is incredible.

Covert Jay: Insanity will take you a long way. Maybe “Vain” promised him cake if they won.

Vinegar: NBK staggers to his feet...flying seated senton takes NBK back down! Roxy leaps up, runs across the ring and bounces off of the ropes...

Covert Jay: Flying knee strike!

Vinegar: She got all of that and NBK is down again! Roxy pulls him up somehow and underhooks his arms... inverted double underhook facebuster!

Lieberjosch: The only thing she has to do now is get him up for the Double D-DT.

Covert Jay: She gets me up pretty easily.

Lieberjosch: How goash.

Vinegar: Roxy exits the ring and grabs the top rope as NBK begins to pull himself to his feet.

Lieberjosch: Let’s not forget that she’s the Number One Contender to whoever walks out with the World Championship tonight.

Vinegar: I’m sure that she has that in mind.

Covert Jay: NBK staggers to his feet…

Lieberjosch: He’s still looking down. He won’t like what happens if he looks up.

Vinegar: Roxy leaps up onto the top rope....springboard Muff Diver! Roxy leaps to her feet and yanks NBK from the canvas…

Lieberjosch: “Vain” hasn’t moved from his corner, while Kenzi and Raab still haven’t moved on the outside.

Vinegar: DOUBLE D-DT! ROXY GOES FOR THE COVER!!

Fans: ONE!!!

Covert Jay: TWO!!

Vinegar: THREE!!!

Mitchell Dennis: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, YOUR WINNERS AND THE TEAM THAT WILL ADVANCE TO THE FINALS IN THE LORD OF TRIOS TOURNAMENT… ROXY COTTON, KENZI GRAY AND “THE LORD OF PAIN” DONOVAN HASTINGS… “THE LORDS OF COOL”!!!!



Team Ego - 7.02

[Lord Hastings]

Vinegar: Tremendous action so far here on Three Mile Island, we have a fantastic and exciting match-up still to come in the finals of the Lord of Trios tournament, but first, our big championship match of the night!

Lieberjosch: Travis Pierce. Klaus vonKnorre. Killian King. Rogan MacLean. All unquestionably high impact players in the history of UGWC, all former World Heavyweight Champions, none of them ever successfully defended it.

Covert Jay: In fact, of thirty-five champion reigns prior to the current one, fourteen have ended without a successful title defense.

Vinegar: Angelica Vaughn will be looking to keep her name off that list here tonight, as she defends against two fierce competitors, a three-time former World Heavyweight Champion, and perhaps the most dominant Chaos Champion in the history of that violent title.

DING DING!!

Dennis: The following contest is a triple threat match set for one fall, and is for the World Heavyweight Championship!

The arena goes dark. The opening beats and riffs to "Hardwired" blare as the strobes pulsate with the beat. Once the beat picks up even further, Dave Rydell saunters out on to the stage dragging his UGWC Co-Operative Championship behind him. His coat flaps with the motions. He stops at the top of the ramp, verifies his knee brace is tight, and continues on. He glances occasionally out into the crowd, ignoring everything that's being said. He reaches the ring and rolls in. Once in he throws his belt to the outside, with such disrespect. He removes his coat and tosses it over the ropes to the floor below, revealing his referee’s shirt.

Dennis: Introducing first, the special guest referee for this championship match...the Virus of Life...DAVE RYDELL!!!!

Vinegar: Dave Rydell is the new Cross-Hemisphere Champion, having won the championship last week on Synergy, the fifth time he has held that title if you count its lineage tracing back to the LWF.

Lieberjosch: There were a lot of people that felt that Rydell was the weak link of Angell, the now former Cooperative Champions, but now Rydell has gold of his own, and the fate of Angie Vaughn’s reign as World Champion now rests in his hands.

Covert Jay: Well it’s not like Rydell is an unhinged lunatic or anything, that she would need to be worried.

Unsane’s “No Reprieve” begins to blare throughout the arena as the tortured guitar of Chris Spencer and the droning bass of Dave Curran join with Vinnie Signorelli’s punishing drumming. The three men hammer out their angry and unrefined sound as Zane’s new video package plays in the background. Thirty second in Chris begins to belt out the lyrics in his recognized angry and rough sounding style as Zane walks out onto the stage. He pauses at the top of the ramp and looks out across the arena, his expression is calm but intense.

After a few moments he walks down the ramp, slapping hands with a few fans along the way before he gets to the ring. He grabs the middle rope and pulls himself up onto the apron, then steps between the top and middle ropes and into the ring. He walks over to his corner, ascends it and holds his arms up. After a few moments he drops back down and leans against the corner.

Dennis: And now the challengers, introducing first, the Paradox, ZAAANNEEE SCCOTTTTTTTTT!!!!

Vinegar: Certainly no love lost between these two, Rydell was one of Scott’s two challengers last year at this event, when Zane Scott was the defending World Champion.

Lieberjosch: And I think the heart and desire of Zane Scott has never been more in question than it is in recent weeks.

Vinegar: That’s a bold statement.

Lieberjosch: Zane has suggested that he has no desire to be champion, specifically asked not to be given title opportunities, and this is his second in a matter of weeks. He’s either confused or a liar.

Covert Jay: I noticed you lowered your voice when he walked past us.

Lieberjosch: Oh, you be quiet.

Covert Jay: Sure, like you, when Zane is in earshot.

Richard Vaughn, dressed in a pompous attire of puffy reds and blacks, and wearing a foppy hat, walks out onto the entrance ramp and cries out for all to hear:

“ALL RISE FOR THE QUEEN OF RED'S PROCESSIONAL! ALL HAIL THE QUEEN!”

As the audience is encouraged to stand, a fanfare of trumpets begins “The March of the Queen of Red.” Two lines of men wearing black uniforms with silver pins march down the aisle until the path is filled, then turn to face one another and salute with fists punched to chests. Four large men, with arms bare to show oiled muscles, carry a chair covered in silk. The Queen of Red sits on the chair wearing a robe of red with silver slashes up and down the lengths of her arms. Le Bord de Dieu wears a white mask on her face and her hair is pulled back in an elaborate braid. They are followed by a four-member team of colorguard, two carrying large poles with the flag of Lacklanland, the Purple Fist on a field of black, one with a snare drum slung over a shoulder keeping time, a third carrying The Knocker, the famed maul of the nation’s founder.

Their procession is painfully slow, forcing every set of eyes to follow them, and each set of soldiers bows low as the Queen of Red’s chair passes by. Once at ringside, she is lifted out of her chair by her strong chairmen and helped into the ring, and is followed the rest of her retinue. Once everyone is in side, Richard Vaughn cries out again:

“THE QUEEN OF RED REQUESTS THAT ALL RISE FOR THE PLAYING OF THE LACKLANLAND NATION ANTHEM!”

The soldiers all slam fists to chests as the color guard raise the colors of Lacklanand. Le Bord de Dieu stands proudly, her head turned up just above the view of the horizon, as a very distinct instrumental begins to play on the P.A. and a youthful voice with a Londoner accent sings:

O Lacklanland!

Our home and annexed land!

True subjection the Queen of Red command

With glowing fires we see you rise

The true Champion of Chaos!

From far and wide

O Lacklanland, we raise our fists for thee

God keep our Queen, beautiful and free

O Lacklanland, we raise our fists for thee!

O Lacklanland, we raise our fists for thee!

The guards then take an insanely long amount of time removing the elaborate robe from Le Bord de Dieu as the soldiers and honor guard make their exit.

Dennis: Now entering the ring, she is the reigning Chaos Champion, the Queen of Red, LE BORD DEEEE DIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEUUUUUUUU!!!!

Vinegar: There has been quite the rivalry between Zane Scott and Le Bord de Dieu over the course of the past month.

Lieberjosch: Zane defeated Bordy at Infinity, but it was Bordy that triumphantly defended the Chaos Championship against him two weeks ago on Synergy. Both of those matches were unquestionably brutal, you wonder what’s left for these two to do to each other.

Covert Jay: Plenty.

Vinegar: Le Bord de Dieu has been a pillar of consistency ever since her debut over a year ago, and a dominant force as the Chaos Champion. This represents the biggest opportunity of her career here tonight.

Covert Jay: But is it? Bordy would probably think even more of it if she was defending her Chaos Championship, she values it over any other title.

Dennis: Now making her way to the ring, she is the reigning AND defending World Champion, ANGELICAAA VAAAUUGGHHHHHNNNNNNN!!!!

Covert Jay: She’s just so Vaughnemous.

Vinegar: Angelica Vaughn defeated Alan Wallace last month at Infinity to win the World Championship, the only other two people to do that in history were Eden Morgan and Travis Roberts, lofty company for this young woman.

Lieberjosch: And she might have been on the path to a wonderful career, but she’s about to be in the ring with two of the most dangerous individuals that we’ve ever seen.

Vinegar: Vaughn also held the Cooperative Championship until two weeks ago, and her partner in that team is the man officiating this World Title Match here tonight.

DING DING!!

Vinegar: Le Bord de Dieu simply heaving herself at both of her opponents right out of the gate, both knocked down, and Scott rolls to his feet on the outside as the Chaos Champion lays the boots to the World Champion.

Lieberjosch: Zane looks like he is contemplating whether he even has the desire to reenter the ring, Bordy stomping away on Angie in the corner, pinning her against the bottom turnbuckle by her throat with her boot.

Covert Jay: Rydell backs her off and Bordy puts her hands up for a moment, but rushes right back in with a running knee before again using the boot to pin her against the turnbuckle.

Vinegar: And now it’s Scott that comes back into the ring, grabbing Le Bord de Dieu from behind and yanking her away, sending her rolling across the ring.

Lieberjosch: She looks up at Zane with a grin and licks her lips as she gets back to her feet, and she attacks with a flurry of strikes and swipes that Zane deflects as best he can.

Covert Jay: Oh, snap! She caught him across the face!

Vinegar: It looks like Scott was raked across the face by her fingernails, he is bleeding from two gashes on his cheek.

Lieberjosch: Looks a bit deep too.

Vinegar: Scott touching his hand to his face, he sees the blood on his hand, and Le Bord de Dieu is delighted with herself.

Lieberjosch: She flings her body at him again, but this time Zane catches her, pivoting and hurling her into a corner.

Vinegar: Scott charges, but she moves out of the way and he crashes into the turnbuckle.

Covert Jay: Zane stumbles out, Bordy attempts to apply Le Doux Sommeil de Dieu, but Angie catches her with a bicycle kick and knocks her away.

Vinegar: Scott down to a knee, Vaughn looking back and forth between her two opponents, she comes off the ropes and charges at Scott!

Lieberjosch: He catches her into a fallaway slam, and Vaughn is sent sprawling through the ropes to the outside.

Covert Jay: Zane goes to follow her, but Rydell stops him from stepping out through the ropes and wants him to keep it in the ring.

Lieberjosch: He’s either trying to protect Angie or taking his referee position way too seriously.

Vinegar: Regardless, Scott turns his attention back to Bordy as she rises, she charges at him, but runs into a boot to the face.

Lieberjosch: Zane picks her up into an airplane spin, but Bordy twists and counters into a sleeper hold, with her legs wrapped around Zane’s waist.

Vinegar: Scott flails with his arms, but he runs backwards and slams her into the turnbuckle, getting her to release!

Covert Jay: Zane bucks her up into a seated position on his shoulders, as Angie has climbed to the turnbuckle from the outside!

Vinegar: Vaughn leaps and clotheslines Bordy off of Scott’s shoulders!

Lieberjosch: Mule kick to Zane!

Covert Jay: EW!!!!

Vinegar: The mandible claw locked in on Zane Scott!

Lieberjosch: Zane flails his arms, and he starts to fade!

Covert Jay: Rydell is right there, asking if he wants to give up!

Vinegar: And Scott glares at him with clear irritation, but he is fading fast, down to one knee!

Lieberjosch: But Zane has life left! He stands sharply and knocks her arm away!

Covert Jay: Angie ninjas the momentum directly into a roundhouse kick!

Vinegar: Vaughn steps through the ropes to the outside, climbing the turnbuckle, Zane Scott is down!

Lieberjosch: Bordy springs to life, leaping onto the turnbuckle and grabbing Angie into a bear hug! She drills her with a headbutt, and now both tumble off the turnbuckle to ringside!

Vinegar: What a dangerous moment, both women could have been seriously injured there!

Covert Jay: Meanwhile Zane is still down in the ring, both women had him in consecutive submission holds, this is exactly the moment’s rest that Zane needed to have a chance to get back in this match.

Vinegar: Scott stirring in the ring, meanwhile Le Bord de Dieu has already stumbled back to her feet at ringside, certainly a maniacal look on her face.

Lieberjosch: Bordy sliding into the ring and charging as Zane is getting up, but Zane catches her with a two-handed sledge strike to the face!

Vinegar: Scott takes a moment to check the blood on his face, he’s still bleeding from the cheek folks, it’s not pretty.

Lieberjosch: He never is.

Vinegar: Scott goes to pull her back up, but she surprises him with a cradle!




ONE!!!




TWO!!!!!




Vinegar: Scott kicks out!

Covert Jay: Both pop to their feet, Bordy leaps at Zane, but he sidesteps and Bordy collides with Rydell!

Lieberjosch: Rydell tumbles awkwardly out to ringside, and serves him right! That was a slow count just now, don’t you think?

Vinegar: Appeared fair to me, clothesline attempt by Scott is evaded, she kicks him in the back of the knee.

Lieberjosch: L’etreinte de Dieu!!!

Vinegar: She has the cover, but Rydell is still down on the outside!

Lieberjosch: Well isn’t that convenient!

Vinegar: There was nothing convenient about it, Rydell took a hard shot and was knocked out.

Lieberjosch: He’s the Cross-Hemisphere Champion and one collision takes him out?

Covert Jay: He’s a referee tonight, that exponentially reduces your life bar.

Vinegar: She’s looking down upon Rydell through the ropes now, sounds like she said something in French that was less than friendly.

Lieberjosch: He’s supposed to do a job out here and he’s taking a nap!

Vinegar: We’ve got another referee on the way! Brian Chartreuse is rushing to the ring!

Lieberjosch: Good! Get back on Zane!

Covert Jay: #Vaughnemous!!!

Vinegar: The kick connects on Bordy! Vaughn has the cover!





ONE!!!





TWO!!!!!





Vinegar: Rydell just pulled Chartreuse out of the ring!

Lieberjosch: He screwed Angie!

Vinegar: Rydell is shouting at Chartreuse to get lost, yelling at him that it’s Rydell’s match to officiate, and I’m going to be honest, I don’t think Rydell even realizes that it was Vaughn that had a cover.

Covert Jay: Angie isn’t letting it deter her, Zane trying to get up, she catches him with a kick to the chest, drops him to his knees!

Lieberjosch: Bordy risen to her knees, a kick to the chest for her too!

Crowd: OBVS!

Lieberjosch: Kick to Zane!

Crowd: OBVS!

Covert Jay: Kick to Bordy!

Crowd: OBVS!

Lieberjosch: Kick to Zane!

Crowd: OBVS!

Covert Jay: She winds up for a big kick to Bordy!

Vinegar: Ducked under!

Lieberjosch: L’etreinte de Dieu!!!

Covert Jay: Zane slingshots Bordy off the ropes into the Splatter Effect!

Vinegar: I think Rydell just actually formally ejected Chartreuse from ringside, he’s coming back into the ring as Scott sets Bordy up on the turnbuckle!

Covert Jay: Welcome to the ER!

Vinegar: She floats off before he can execute the move, drops behind him!

Lieberjosch: L’etreinte de Dieu!

Vinegar: Scott elbows her away! She stumbles, he’s got her!

Covert Jay: The Purge!!

Vinegar: Zane Scott is-

Covert Jay: #VAUGHNEMOUS!!!!

Vinegar: Connects on Scott!

Lieberjosch: Angie covers Bordy!



ONE!!!



TWO!!!!!



THREE!!!!!!!





Dennis: Here is your winner, and STILL the World Heavyweight Champion, AANNNGGGIIEEEE VAAUGGGGHHHNNNNNN!!!!

Vinegar: Vaughn retains!

Lieberjosch: Fast count! That was a fast count!

Vinegar: Dave Rydell is not a trained referee, I think he called this match right down the middle!

Covert Jay: Rydell hands the World Title to Angie, goes to the turnbuckle with his own Cross-Hemisphere Title!

Vinegar: Angell may no longer be the Cooperative Champions, but they still hold the gold here in UGWC!

Lieberjosch: It was a fast count, I can see it on the slo-mo replay.

Vinegar: Stop that.

Covert Jay: The finals of the Lord of Trios tournament is next!



Angelica Vaughn - 7.46

Zane Scott - 7.41

Le Bord de Dieu - 7.27

[Lord Hastings]

Vinegar: We've had an incredible night of action so far folks and, with three matches down, the crowning match of our second Lord of Trios tournament is about to begin.



Lieberjosch: Angela Vaughn and Dave Rydell are standing tall regardless of how this turns out, World and Cross Hemisphere Champions, and it looks like Angell is as solid as ever.

Wrestley McWrestleface explodes from behind the curtain, energetically running toward fans on either side of the entrance ramp, brandishing a sharpie like an overzealous Zorro and swiping across their memorabilia, arms, faces, whatever happens to be at the felt end of his marker.



Vinegar: Wrestley came to us at the start of this year, an acquisition from an independent promotion called New Jersey Pro Wrestling.



Lieberjosch: He didn't have to go to our wrestling dungeon first?



Vinegar: Hans, you've seen the three or four dungeons run by people in this company... do you think he'd be any better off?



Lieberjosh: Tradition is tradition.

'Clint Eastwood' by Gorillaz plays over the PA. After about 20 seconds, the lyrics start and Holden Orson strolls from backstage onto the main ramp, escorted by his Manager Waldo. The music plays and highlights clips from his previous feuds and random Jan Wnęk sculptures appear on the screen.



Vinegar: Speaking of tradition, Holden Orson redebuted in January, returning to the Synergy roster after a short stint on Chill.



Lieberjosch: He's had a rough year, his coffee shop foreclosed on and evicted from his home, Orson has found an unlikely ally in his new roomate...

Fear slinks out and joins his teammates, the three of them walking to the ring together as Waldo walks backstage.



Lieberjosch: We've seen a much more effective Fear this year, bringing a more vicious side to his matches which allowed him to recapture the Cross Hemisphere Championship for his fourth reign!



Vinegar: I'm not sure the edgier Fear is what he needed this year, as he recently fell to Dave Rydell



Lieberjosch: Rydell has been on a tear over the last few months, capping an unexpected Cooperative run with Angie Vaughn by defeating Fear.



Vinegar: If you think Fear is in his right mind recruiting these two...



Lieberjosch: They advanced past the newly formed Piercing Media Network, didn't they?

"Connection" by Elastica plays as the sub-group of the #CoolKids known as "The Clear Connection" of Roxy Cotton and Kenzi Grey emerge through the entranceway, accompanied by their bodyguard, the massive Maxine. She turns and heads back throught he curtain as the two bounce around one another all the way down the ramp as the irreverent techno tune blasts throughout the arena. The duo pause outside at ringside, then roll into the ring together as they ascend the turnbuckles at opposite sides of the ring, eliciting both boos and cheers from the rabid fans. Roxy steps in front of Kenzi and consoles her, waving off the boos.



Vinegar: Twisted stories unfolding around the #Coolkids lately.



Lieberjosch: You mean how Kenzi Grey-Lacklan has finally started taking her mother's and Creative Director's advice and embracing her more chaotic side?



Vinegar: If that's what you want to call it. Some might say she's building walls between her and the rest of her friends, and I'm not sure it isn't deliberate, no matter what she says.



Lieberjosch: She and Roxy worked well enough together in the first round to advance to the main event, Nick.



Vinegar: I'm curious how things are going to shake out if they should be victorious over 1M2P.



Lieberjosch: What do you mean?



Vinegar: I would imagine, as the Cooperative Chamions, Hastings and Grey-Lacklan would work out some sort of choose-your-own-opponents deal with Ichabod. That leaves Roxy Cotton with yet ANOTHER possible tournament win with World Championship implications...



Lieberjosch: And Angelica Vaughn is STILL the World Champion...



Vinegar: Exactly. There's no way she'd be able to back out if the Lords of Cool win tonight.



Lieberjosch: Ichabod has already told her that if she doesn't compete, she's fired, so the point is moot.



Vinegar: I know that, but the fact that she'd be coming at Angie with, technically, two number one contenderships, speaks volumes.



Lieberjosch: The fact that you think Hastings wouldn't parlay a win in this tournament into his own World Championship opportunity proves you have no idea what you're talking about.

 

Hastings wears a dark cloak to the ring. When he comes out he pauses on the stage and opens his arms to the adoring peasantry. He soaks the moment in and then proceeds to join his partners in the ring.



Vinegar: Deimos and Kenzi to kick us off here in the Lord of Trios final.



Lieberjosch: They circle one another for a moment, Kenzi moving in first to snatch Deimos into a wristlock.



Vinegar: Deimos rolls through and turns it into a fireman's carry that Kenzi kips up from quickly.



Lieberjosch: Hit from behind by a running Deimos, Kenzi smashes into the ropes, and Fear uses the momentum to to hit an overhead suplex and goes for the first cover.



1...







2-







Covert Jay: Kenzi quickly kicks out!



Vinegar: Phrix sits up as Grey rolls across the ring toward a neutral corner. She glances toward her team, who seem to be encouraging the decision she's making.



Lieberjosch: Kenzi is known for mimicking the signature maneuvers of her opponents, and given how she's positioning herself on the top turnbuckle we might be about to see--



Vinegar: No, Deimos rolls away to the other neutral corner, springing quickly to his feet and crossing his arms, stealing the moment.



Lieberjosch: Kenzi starts to descend, but out of nowhere Phrix takes off across the ring, head down as if he's going to intentionally shoulder tackle the turnbuckle.



Covert Jay: Telegraphed it too soon though, and Grey leaps off with a sunset flip into a pin!



1...





2...





Vinegar: Deimos rolls over onto his side, trapping Kenzi's head in a figure four headlock!



Lieberjosch: As she struggles to free herself, Fear uses his forearms to military crawl to the center of the ring, expertly dragging his prey away from the ropes.



Vinegar: Legdrop from the top from Roxy Cotton!!



Lieberjosch: That beaks up the hold, and Deimos reels as Roxy helps her partner up.



Vinegar: Deimos stumbles up to his knees, while Kenzi signals to Roxy. He turns to re-enter the fray, but is met with a running dropkick from KGL!!



Lieberjosch: He crumples in the corner, and is immediately hit with a Bronco Buster from Cotton!



Covert Jay: KICK THE CAT!!



Vinegar: Grey and Cotton tag, and Roxy goes to reach for Fear.



Lieberjosch: Blind tag by Hastings!



Vinegar: Roxy and Kenzi snap their heads at the Lord of Pain, who affects an air of superiority as he casually steps between the top and second rope.



Covert Jay: Look at him shooing Roxy away!



Vinegar: She steps out looking very haughtily at the 7 time Cooperative Champion, specifically because he reminds her of his team-leading prowess by holding up 7 fingers.



Lieberjosch: Kenzi and Roxy share a look as Hastings goes to work on Deimos.



Vinegar: Lifting him very showily into position for a DDT, Hastings turns to look at Fear's team on the opposite side of the ring.



Lieberjosch: He's about to drop the move, but Phrixus suddenly reacts and dumps Hastings over with a back body drop!



Vinegar: Clothesline each for Roxy and Kenzi, and Fear is on the ropes!



Covert Jay: METEOR PRESS!!



1..







2..







Covert Jay: Hastings kicks out!



Lieberjosch: He's too fresh, and Deimos has been in there for too long.



Vinegar: I think he agrees with you, because Fear is stumbling to his corner.



Covert Jay: Tags in Orson!



Vinegar: Holden skates across the ring and clubs a sitting Hastings in the base of his skull with a low punch!



Lieberjosch: Hastings jolts from the impact, but catches a knee strike to the back of the head before he can fall back.



Vinegar: That knocks him onto his side and Orson instantly drops to the mat, grabbing an arm and dragging it up between his legs.



Covert Jay: He's going for White!



Vinegar: Hastings rolls onto his stomach and wraps his free arm around the trapped one, leveraging it to bend and resist the armbar.



Lieberjosch: As Orson and Donovan fight for control, The Lord of Pain gets his knees under him, then one foot, and manages to power himself halfway up.



Vinegar: Holden suddenly releases without warning, and Hastings backpedals toward the ropes!



Lieberjosch: Legsweep from Orson drops Hastings to the mat, and he goes for White again!



Vinegar: This time Hastings is close enough to grab the ropes, however, and the Hipster is forced to release the hold.



Lieberjosch: With the momentary reprieve, Donovan notices that Kenzi and Roxy have regained the apron, and reaches for a tag.



Vinegar: Roxy crosses her arms and turns her nose up!



Lieberjosch: Kenzi isn't going to waste the chance, however, and she accepts the hand, leapfrogging the ropes to drop an elbow onto where Holden was beginning to get up.



Vinegar: She lifts Orson up, and bulldogs him toward the center of the ring!



Lieberjosch: Kenzi lifting him again, and whips him toward the ropes, hitting a slingblade on the return!



Vinegar: Fully in control, Grey lifts Orson again and drags him over to her corner. She tags in Roxy, and holds Orson in place for a Rocker Dropper!



Lieberjosch: That's the first half of the Flat Earth Theory!!



Vinegar: Here comes Kenzi, leaping up--



Covert Jay: BLACK!!



Vinegar: HOLY SHIT!



Lieberjosch: Orson hit that insane uppercut on Kenzi midair, knocking her for a loop!



Vinegar: He's doesn't waste any time turning and punching Roxy hard enough in the chest to knock her flat on her back!



Covert Jay: Holden punched through all that cushioning and knocked Roxy's breath out!



Vinegar: He's pulling Roxy back to her feet, and he's lifting her up into brainbuster position!



Lieberjosch: Hastings into the ring, hoping to interrupt the Jan Wnęk Driver.



Vinegar: There's McWrestleface with a standing hurricanrana on Hastings!



Covert Jay: JAN WNEK DRIVER!!



Vinegar: Holden with the cover...





1...





2...







Lieberjosch: Kenzi weakly throws herself across both Holden and Roxy, breaking up the pin!



Vinegar: All competitors in the ring now, as Deimos hits a neckbreaker on an unsteadily rising Kenzi!



Lieberjosch: Wrestley and Deimos now working together as Fear lifts Roxy up onto his shoulders in electric chair drop position, and Wrestley leaps up onto the turnbuckles and takes aim!



Covert Jay: INSIDE OUT FROM OFF THE ELECTRIC CHAIR POSITION!!!



Vinegar: She's dead... they killed Roxy... oh my god...



Lieberjosch: Deimos points at Orson, and Wrestley nods. Together, they pick him up and point at the downed Roxy.



Vinegar: He nods that he's ok and takes a step toward her.



Covert Jay: DONOVAN HASTINGS HITS THE THREE OF THEM WITH A DIVING DOUBLE CLOTHESLINE FROM THE TOP ROPE!!



Vinegar: It looks like a car wreck in the ring right now with all six competitors laid out and unmoving!



Lieberjosch: Wait! It looks like Wrestley only took a glancing blow from Hastings' attack, and he drops from the ring, reaching in to drag Orson back to their corner.



Vinegar: Leaping up onto the apron, he reaches over and tags the back of Orson's head, then leaps up onto the turnbuckle!



Covert Jay: ROUND AND ROUND ON ROXY COTTON!!



Vinegar: McWrestleface hooks the leg...





1...









2...









Covert Jay: SHE KICKED OUT!!!



Vinegar: How!?



Lieberjosch: I'm pretty sure that was a muscle spasm that bounced Wrestley off her left breast, to be honest.



Vinegar: Well, she's still not moving, and McWrestleface scrambles over to try again.



Lieberjosch: Cannonball from Grey hits him from the side, knocking him away from her friend.



Vinegar: Now it's Kenzi's turn to drag her partner to the corner for an unconscious tag, but she crosses the path of Fear, who snatches her into MILLENIAL DECAY!!



Lieberjosch: Hastings yanks him into a half-nelson, freeing his partner, then lifts Deimos up...



Covert Jay: DESTINY'S CALL!!



Vinegar: Hastings grabs Roxy and tosses her to the corner, cutting Kenzi's dragging time in half, and Kenzi taps her friend's shoulder.



Lieberjosch: Hastings takes a Shiranui from McWrestleface that doubles as a backflip kick to Kenzi!



Vinegar: Just he lands the flip on Donovan, however, Kenzi recovers and hits Black!!



Lieberjosch: Wrestley is staggered...



Covert Jay: THE FACADE!!



Vinegar: Kenzi covers Wrestley...



1...









2...













3!!!!



Vinegar: They did it!!



Dennis: YOUR WINNERS, AND NEW LORDS OF TRIOS, THE ROXY COTTTTTTTTON, DONOVVVVVVVVAN HASTINGS, AND KENZI GRRRRRRRRRRREY! THE LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLORDS OF COOOOOOOOOOOOOL!!!



Lieberjosch: Roxy stumbles over to embrace Kenzi, vindicated by winning the tournament she was embarassed in last year, while Grey stares intensely down at her fallen opponents.



Vinegar: Hastings follows up in short order, wincing even as he nods like he knew all along this would be the result.



Lieberjosch: The second annual Lords of Trios tournament comes to a close as two friends and an unlikely ally stand victorious over a broken battlefield!


Lords of Cool - 7.06

Two Masks, One Phrixus - 6.94

[Lord Hastings]

Credits

GFX
Britt

LoT Semi-Final #1
Chad

LoT Semi-Final #2
Ad

World Title Match
Steve

LoT Final Match
Brandon