Seven Deadly Sins 2019

[Lord Hastings]

Vinegar: Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to Seven Deadly Sins!

Covert Jay: HUTTAH!

Vinegar: We are coming to you live from the Joyce Center, in Notre Dame, Indiana, and we have a night full of action here tonight!

Lieberjosch: You are absolutely correct, Nicholas. Tonight we will witness The Piercing Weapons joining forces to take on the tandem of Konrad Raab and Natural Born Killer, with the winners becoming the new number-on contenders to the Cooperative Championship currently held by Donovan Hastings and Kenzi Grey-Lacklan; Le Bord de Dieu defends her Chaos Championship against 'The Embodiment of Fear" Phrixus Deimos; the man with the dumbest name in the history of our industry, Wrestley McWrestleface, takes on Zane Scott; Dave Rydell puts his Cross-Hemisphere Champion on the line against Roxy Cotton in a submission match; Alan Wallace seeks revenge on the man who viciously attacked him with a steel chair a few weeks ago, the aforementioned Donovan Hastings; and in our Main Event of the night, UGWC World Heavyweight Champion Angelica Vaughn defends her title against one of her best friends, Kenzi Grey-Lacklan. But first things first, our opening match pits Hide Yamazaki against Holden Orson.

Covert Jay: I think that is the most I've ever heard you speak at once, Doc.

Lieberjosch: Amazing what one can do when you aren't constantly interrupting them, Jay.

Covert Jay: Point taken.

Vinegar: Holden Orson will be hoping to recapture some of the previous magic that has surrounded him over the years, but we know that Yamazaki is all about punishment. It will be a clash of styles, as the technical precision of Orson will attempt to keep the brutality of Hide at bay.

Lieberjosch: Orson has the talent to keep Yamazaki off his game. The question will be, what happens if Yamazaki begins to assert his will during the match?

Vinegar: Don't forget Doc, 'The Number One Hitmaker' will be out here for the match as well! Orson, for the most part, has been surrounded by others during his time here in UGWC… multiple cooperative partners, as well as 'The Engine of Chaos'. Today, he's going at it alone.

Covert Jay: He might have Waldo out there with him.

Lieberjosch: Who ever said you weren't funny, Jay?

Vinegar: We ewill find out soon enough. Mitchell Dennis is in the ring, and is slated to begin the introductions. Mitchell, take it away!

Mitchell Dennis: Ladies and Gentlemen, our opening match is scheduled for one fall, and has a twenty-minute time limit. Introducing first…

The first few seconds of "The Mob Rules" by Black Sabbath begins to play, and once “Whoooooahh, come onnn!” is heard, Hide Yamazaki bursts through the curtains, swinging his chains and forcing out a sadistic-sounding laugh.

Mitchell Dennis: Led to the ring by his manager, 'The #1 Hit-Maker' Johnny Bonecrusher... from the Kabukicho District in Shinjuku, Tokyo, Japan... weighing in at 253 pounds... 'DEATHWISH' HIDE YAMAZAKI!!!!!

Soon after, "The #1 Hit-Maker" Johnny Bonecrusher emerges as well, keeping a good distance away from the wild man. He slaps his hands together and clasps them together sinisterly as he basks in the chaotic energies of his client. The swinging of the chains continues as Yamazaki makes his way down the aisle, showing no regard as to whether he might strike a fan or not. Johnny then speeds on past, ducking under the chain "propellers" and stopping once he's at the top of the ring steps. Yamazaki throws his chains into the ring with reckless abandon, inciting the referee to shout at him, which accomplishes nothing. Johnny just smirks and shrugs coyly at the referee. He pries the ropes apart, and Yamazaki darts in between them, entering the ring in that staggering way The Great Muta does. Johnny then casually descends the steps and begins circling the ring.

Lieberjosch: I question the sanity of this man.

Vinegar: Which one? Yamazaki, or Bonecrusher?

Lieberjosch: Yes.

Mitchell Dennis: And his opponent…

Mitchell Dennis: Standing one-hundred ninety-three centimeters, and weighing in at sixteen-and-a-half stone… hailing from Gas, Kansas… HOLDEN ORSON!!!!!

'Clint Eastwood', by Gorillaz, plays over the PA. After about 20 seconds, the lyrics start and Holden Orson strolls from backstage onto the main ramp, escorted by his Manager Waldo. The music plays and highlights clips from his previous feuds and random Jan Wnęk sculptures appear on the screen.

Covert Jay: Waldo!

Lieberjosch: Congratulations, Jay. You found him.

Vinegar: Alice Nasmith calling for the bell, and Claude de Rhombus makes this matchup official.

Lieberjosch: And Yamazaki wasting no time, as he charges Orson and bull-rushes him into the corner.

Vinegar: Vicious right hands catching Holden in the jaw before he can even attempt to cover up, and Alice is admonishing Hide for the illegal closed fist.

Lieberjosch: Something tells me he doesn't care.

Covert Jay: Likely doesn't even understand. He doesn't speak English, you know.

Lieberjosch: Are we sure of that?

Covert Jay: Hell if I know. I've never heard it. Sso let's go with yes, I'm sure.

Lieberjosch: I just realized that I don't care.

Vinegar: Irish whip across the ring, and Orson slams into the adjacent corner.

Lieberjosch: Yamazaki barreling towards Holden, engulfing him with a running avalanche. A headbutt connects, and then Hide grabs a hold of Orson and tosses him halfway across the ring.

Covert Jay: Was that a hip toss?

Lieberjosch: I have no idea. Possibly.

Vinegar: Hide going for a jumping elbow drop, but Orson is able to move out of the way. Both men back to their feet now…

Lieberjosch: Yamazaki misses with a lariat, and Orson connects with a leg kick that catches Yamazaki on the side of the left knee, almost buckling him.

Vinegar: Orson connecting with precision punches now, showing off that Labokkatao style that he is most well-known for.

Covert Jay: Totally sounds made up.

Vinegar: Orson grabs Hide in a clinch, and begins connecting with high-knee lifts to the face of 'Deathwish'.

Lieberjosch: Snap mare by Orson, and he quickly applies a dragon sleeper.

Vinegar: Yamazaki is having none of it though, connecting with a kick to the head of Orson before he can lock the hold in, and Hide scrambles back to his feet again.

Lieberjosch: Yamazaki maneuvers in behind of Orson, grasping him around the waist. Release German suplex, but Orson is able to land on his feet. Hide back up, but is sent to the mat with a leg sweep.

Covert Jay: Don't see that move much anymore. I figured it pretty much vanished in our business.

Lieberjosch: Must be why Orson decided to use it.

Vinegar: European Uppercut finds it's mark, the force sending Hide through the ropes and out to the floor.

Covert Jay: He's too close to us. We should get out of here.

Lieberjosch: We have a job to do, Jay.

Covert Jay: Bah…

Vinegar: Johnny Bonecrusher over now, attempting to keep Yamazaki from throwing his chain into the ring…

Lieberjosch: He failed.

Vinegar: Alice Nasmith has kicked the chain back out of the ring, on the other side, as Bonecrusher is attempting to talk strategy with his client.

Lieberjosch: Looks like he is failing at that, too.

Covert Jay: Yup, totally can't speak English.

Vinegar: Hide sliding back into the ring, but Orson is there to meet him with stomps.

Lieberjosch: Orson pulling Yamazaki to his feet now, connects with a kick to the stomach that doubles the man-man over.

Vinegar: Snap suplex by Orson, and that was executed perfectly.

Lieberjosch: Orson segued into a pin attempt, but Yamazaki kicks out before Nasmith can even get into position.

Vinegar: Holden pulling Hide to his feet, and shoots him towards the ropes… tilt-a-whirl backbreaker, and Holden makes another cover…




ONE!!!!!




KICK OUT!!!!!




Vinegar: Hide gets the shoulder up at one, but Holden is keeping the pressure on, focusing on the lower back of Hide by applying a half-Boston crab.

Lieberjosch: Yamazaki shoing his power though by pushing his chest off the mat, not allowing Orson to apply as much pressure as he would like to.

Vinegar: Hide attempting to crawl towards the ropes, but Orson quickly releases the half-crab, dropping down and applying an arm bar.

Covert Jay: Hide flailing about trying to get to the ropes and… I think he just inadvertently poked Orson in the eye.

Vinegar: Holden immediately releases the submission hold, reaching for his eye as he begins blinking uncontrollably.

Lieberjosch: Yamazaki shaking his arm out as he slowly gets to his feet, and Orson is unable to see clearly out of his right eye.

Vinegar: Alice Nasmith is checking on Orson, but Hide doesn't care. He begins peppering Holden with rights and lefts, following it up with a side kick that catches Holden on the outer left thigh.

Lieberjosch: More vicious right and left hands, and then a huge spinning back fist that caught Holden flush on the jaw.

Covert Jay: Orson hits the mat like a ton of bricks, and 'Deathwish' goes for the cover…




ONE!!!!!




TWO!!!!!




KICK OUT!!!!!




Vinegar: Orson kicking out at two there in a near-fall.

Lieberjosch: The Hipster is in La-La Land after that spinning back fist. That kickout was purely out of instinct.

Vinegar: Hide pulling Holden back to his feet, placing his head in between his legs… gutwrench powerbomb.

Covert Jay: 'The Number-One Hitmaker' earning his keep out here at ringside, shouting instructions at Hide.

Lieberjosch: I didn't think Yamazaki could understand English.

Covert Jay: Doesn't matter. Johnny is still earning that paycheck!

Vinegar: Hide pulling Holden back to his feet again, only to deposit him overhead with a T-bone suplex. Hide then drops a knee across the bridge of Holden's nose, and Holden is in trouble.

Lieberjosch: Yamazaki taking a few steps back now, forcing Orson to use the energy to make his way back to his feet. Yamazaki in behind of Orson now… chop block.

Vinegar: Hide dragging Holden back up again as Holden is favoring that left knee. Hide lifts him into the air, and ties Orson's leg up around the top turnbuckle, and he is now head-butting the knee of Holden Orson!

Covert Jay: Doesn't seem to be the smartest thing to do.

Lieberjosch: Sounds like Johnny agrees.

Vinegar: Bonecrusher yelling at Hide now, as the big man makes his way over to the apron where Johnny stands.

Covert Jay: And Alice is telling JBC that he needs to get off the apron, but ain't nobody got time for that. Johnny has work to do.

Lieberjosch: Maybe Bonecrusher doesn't speak English, either?

Covert Jay: That's all he's been doing, Doc. Pay attention!

Lieberjosch: You're an idiot.

Vinegar: Orson has managed to free himself from the corner, as Johnny finally hops back down to the floor, and Hide turns his attention back to Holden.

Lieberjosch: Yamazaki making his way over towards Orson now… BLACK!

Vinegar: Holden Orson just connected with his finishing maneuver from, literally, out of nowhere. And Hide never saw it coming!

Covert Jay: Orson falling to the mat, and draping an arm over the chest of Hide. Alice with the count…




ONE!!!!!




TWO!!!!!




THRE-NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!




Vinegar: Hide managed to kick out somehow, and this match continues!

Lieberjosch: Yamazaki is staring up at the lights right now, but I'm not sure he knows where he's at.

Covert Jay: Holden looking to begin working on the back of Hide again, and he applies a Texas cloverleaf!

Vinegar: But Johnny Bonecrusher has hopped back up on the apron, getting the attention of Holden Orson.

Lieberjosch: Holden releases the hold and lunges out at Bonecrusher, but Johnny hops down to the floor just in time.

Covert Jay: Holden reading him the riot act, I think. He said something about the disappointment of the legendary Jan Wnek, and Johnny looks as confused as I am at the reference.

Lieberjosch: That doesn't take much.

Covert Jay: thanks, Doc.

Lieberjosch: It wasn't a compliment, Jay. For either of you.

Vinegar: Hide is back to his feet, and Holden is still arguing back and forth with Bonecrusher.

Lieberjosch: Another vicious chop block to that same leg, and Orson is down in a heap, and in considerable pain.

Vinegar: Hide ripping Holden back to his feet, and grabs him by the injured leg.

Covert Jay: Hide just connected with The Tower, and then immediately sent Holden to the mat with a nasty looking Wheel of Fortune.

Vinegar: That looked bad.

Lieberjosch: Yamazaki just applied The Hanged Man! Orson is trying to fight through the pain…

Vinegar: Holden scratching and clawing in an attempt to reach the ropes, but Hide just threw his body to the side, putting even more pressure on Holden's injured knee.

Covert Jay: Waldo yelling encouragement to his friend…

Lieberjosch: I forgot Waldo was out here.

Covert Jay: Yeah, I had lost him again, too.

Vinegar: Orson is fighting and fighting… but the pain is too much, and Holden Orson taps out.

Mitchell Dennis: Ladies and Gentlemen, the winner of this match via submissions, HIDEEEEEEEEEEEE YAAAAMAAAAAAAAZAAAAAKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!

Vinegar: Johnny Bonecrusher looks extremely pleased with the victory, but Hide looks just as angry as he did when the match started.

Lieberjosch: Yamazaki sliding out of the ring, and he's grabbing that steel chain.

Covert Jay: Holden needs to get out of there, ASAP!

Vinegar: Hide back in the ring now, swinging that chain round and round over his head.

Lieberjosch: And he's targeting Orson…

Vinegar: Hide just attempted to obliterate Holden Orson with that chain, but thankfully Orson was able to roll out of the ring and avoid an act that could have caused considerable damage!

Johnny Bonecrusher and Hide Yamazaki standing in the ring now, staring down at Holden Orson as he slowly gets back to his feet and begins limping up the ramp.

Covert Jay: And to think, that's just the opening match here tonight!

Vinegar: Right you are, Jay. There is a whole lot more action here tonight, starting with finding out who will be the new number-one contenders to the UGWC Cooperative Championship!


Voting Results:
Hide Yamazaki - 6.84
Holden Orson - 6.61

[Lord Hastings]

Vinegar: We continue here at Seven Deadly Sins with Cooperative action!

Cold as Ice by M.O.P plays over the sound system as Konrad comes out through the curtain just wearing his blue and white mask with white hair along with his wrestling trousers with his nickname The Iceman on the front of them with Pit Bull Energy logos on the side of his trousers with black gloves on both of his hands with a side cross necklace on his neck.

Dennis: The following contest is a cooperative match scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, from Cologne, Germany, he is The Iceman, Konrad Raab!

Vinegar: We’ve seen effective teamwork between Raab and his partner tonight going back to the Lord of Trios tournament, eager to see what they can do tonight.

Dennis: And his partner, the Most Dangerous Rumor You’ve Never Heard, the NATURAL BORN KILLLLERRRRR!!!

Lieberjosch: NBK is a former Chaos Champion, and an experienced cooperative competitor, having teamed with Forewell Boding in the past.

Vinegar: These two came up short two weeks ago in a Co-Op Title match, looking to change their fortune and earn another shot here tonight.

"Tired" by Stone Sour begins to sound out over the arena as everything falls to black except for the myriad of white spotlights playing out over the crowd. As Corey Taylor yells "I'm alive in here!" the two brightest spotlights suddenly rush to opposite ends of the arena, halfway up to the nosebleed sections. At the top of each stands a member of The Piercing Weapons, Travis Pierce and Jet Somers. The Piercing Weapons begin making their way down through the crowds, receiving slaps on the back and handshakes from the appreciative fans. Somers and Pierce reach the security barriers at the same time, just as the chorus ends, and each leaps the barrier, then heads toward the ringsteps on either side of the ring. The team climbs the steps and simultaneously enter the ring. The Piercing Weapons then walk the few short steps to the center to shake hands. They separate, then cross, and each goes to the side of the ring opposite from where he entered. Both men stop at the ropes in unison, taking a long moment to look out over the crowd, then slowly each raises their hands as if to embrace the entire crowd, which of course goes crazy.

Dennis: And their opponents, Jet Somers, Travis Pierce, THE PIERCING WEAPONS!!!

Vinegar: The three-time Cooperative Champions, Somers and Pierce have held the Co-Op Titles longer than anybody, they can earn another shot at that championship with a victory tonight!

DING DING!!

Vinegar: Pierce and NBK start us off, collar and elbow tie-up to begin the action. NBK throws a headbutt, causing Pierce to let go, and scoops him up for a sidewalk slam.

Lieberjosch: He drags Pierce back up by the head, and drives repeated headbutts in before letting go and allowing The Icon to fall flat.

Vinegar: Killer begins a series of stomps, then drops a big leg across Pierce's chest. He pulls him up, and seems to be going for an early Releasing the Screams, but Pierce reaches up and rolls him into a cradle pinning situation!





ONE!!!





Vinegar: Quick kickout by the lover of cake, who rolls away to tag in Raab. Pierce decides to keep the action flowing as he darts over to tag Jet in.

Lieberjosch: Jet in with a Thesz press, giving him the upper hand for the ground-and-pound.

Vinegar: Raab pushes himself through Jet's guard under his legs, and hops up for a neckbreaker! He and Jet roll away from each other, then each bounce the ropes and run at each other again. Raab swings out, but Jet ducks and wraps him up, transitioning perfectly into a spinebuster!

Covert Jay: Opie moves in for a cover, but Raab armdrags him into a headscissors, then hooks a leg from behind, ninja-ing Jet into an interesting pretzel.

Vinegar: With his free arm, Jet immediately begins dragging himself toward the ropes, shoving off with his free leg to hook the bottom and force the break.

Lieberjosch: Just as Konrad lets go, Jet kicks out, catching him right in the face with a flat kick that knocks the taste out of his mouth.

Vinegar: Now it's Somers’ turn to lock in a hold as he attacks with a cross face, but gets hit by a knee from NBK before he can lock it in!

Lieberjosch: Pierce clotheslines Killer away before he can mount an attack against Jet, and they both rush for the corner so Jet can tag Pierce in.

Covert Jay: Travis lifts NBK up and hooks his arms behind him, turning him so Jet can hit him with a spinkick before sliding back out to the apron. Straightjacket slam from Pierce puts Raab on his ass, but just as he's about to make the cover, Killer drags him out of the ring.

Vinegar: The two of them brawl at ringside as Somers drops from the apron and rushes around to rescue his partner.

Lieberjosch: Baseball slide from Raab knocks Jet off his feet, stopping him from reaching the brawl.

Vinegar: Another fistfight breaks out right there, and now all four competitors are scrapping outside the ring. Pierce and Raab are the legal men, and Sam Green is running from side to side, yelling at them to get back into the ring.

Lieberjosch: Jet whips Raab into the apron, knocking the air from his lungs before rolling him back into the ring.

Vinegar: On the other side, NBK shoulder blocks Pierce into the security barrier, then lifts him up on his shoulder and launches him through the ropes like a javelin!

Lieberjosch: Jet and NBK climb back up on the apron, each yelling for their partner to get up, both reaching for the tags, and after a few moments they make them!

Vinegar: Pierce ducks under a clothesline, NBK comes off the ropes into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker!

Lieberjosch: Pierce steps over him, but NBK grabs his leg and wrests him to the mat, only for Pierce to roll over and kick him repeatedly in the face.

Vinegar: Pierce gets back to his feet, makes a tag to Somers before going back to NBK.

Lieberjosch: Pierce pulls him up, NBK elbows him away, but Jet is in the ring and connects with three left jabs and a right hook, knocks him down with a spinning back fist!

Covert Jay: NBK stands back up into the Kao Loi, and he staggers from the impact.

Vinegar: Somers comes off the ropes to follow up, but runs right into a throat clutch takedown, and both men are down.

Lieberjosch: NBK crawls towards his corner, and he makes the tag to Raab!

Covert Jay: Opie to his feet, goes to make a tag, but Raab wraps him up in a waistlock before he can do it, pulls him into a release German suplex!

Vinegar: Pierce comes into the ring anyway, Raab ducks under a clothesline, and another release German suplex sends Pierce sprawling across the ring, and under the ropes to the outside.

Lieberjosch: Double arm German suplex to Somers, and the Iceman is on fire!

Covert Jay: He’s taking out the Piercing Weapons all by himself!

Vinegar: Somers is folded up from the suplex, and Raab stacks him up for the cover!





ONE!!!





TWO!!!!!





Vinegar: Somers kicks out!

Lieberjosch: Raab picks up Jet and sets up on a neutral turnbuckle, facing out at the crowd, he’s going for a top rope German!

Vinegar: Raab has it set up, but Somers throws back and elbow and knocks him to the ring. Somers turns around and leaps off the turnbuckle!

Covert Jay: CHOK!!!

Vinegar: Somers connects from the top rope, and both men are down!

Lieberjosch: Pierce is back up on the apron as both men are crawling to their corners to make a tag.

Covert Jay: Opie makes the tag!

Lieberjosch: NBK in on the other side!

Vinegar: NBK knocks Pierce down with a clothesline, and Pierce stands right back up into a second!

Lieberjosch: He scoops Pierce onto his shoulder, looking for a running powerslam!

Vinegar: Pierce floats off the back, shoves NBK into the corner!

Covert Jay: NBK stumbles out, Pierce lifts him for Signing Off!

Vinegar: The Killer floats off, shoves Pierce off the ropes!

Lieberjosch: RUMOR HAS IT!!!

Vinegar: NBK has the cover!





ONE!!!





TWO!!!!!





Vinegar: Somers breaks up the cover!

Lieberjosch: Raab comes into the ring as well, drives Jet back with right hands, but Jet ducks his shoulder and backdrops Raab over the ropes to the outside.

Vinegar: NBK is back to his feet!

Covert Jay: JETSTREAMER!!!

Vinegar: Connects on NBK, he staggers and spins around!

Covert Jay: THE TRUTH HURTS!!!

Vinegar: Pierce has the cover!





ONE!!!





TWO!!!!!





THREEE!!!!!!!





Dennis: Here are your winners, THE PIERCING WEAPONS!!!

Vinegar: Somers and Pierce get the victory!

Lieberjosch: And with it, a future shot at the Cooperative Championship!

Covert Jay: We have plenty more action still to come here at Seven Deadly Sins!





Piercing Weapons - 6.74

Raab and NBK - 6.48

[Lord Hastings]

Lieberjosch: If you don't have corn chips and/or sandwich, now's the time.



Vinegar: Hardly, Hans. It's time for the Chaos Championship match!



Lieberjosch: Like I said...



Covert Jay: CHAOOOOOSSS!!

Fear makes his way out and stalks down to the ring.



Vinegar: Deimos has had an unfathomable year so far.



Lieberjosch: He's been unfathomable for years...



Vinegar: After losing the Cross Hemisphere Championship to Dave Rydell, Fear convalesced by inviting Holden Orson into his home and hanging out with The Hipster and newcomer Wrestley McWrestleface.



Covert Jay: Sounds pretty chaotic...



Lieberjosch: And now, we see a continuation of his courtship with the current Chaos Champion.



Vinegar: Their dynamic certainly raises more questions than it answers, but hopefully we'll get some tonight.



Richard Vaughn, dressed in a pompous attire of puffy reds and blacks, and wearing a foppy hat, walks out onto the entrance ramp and cries out for all to hear:

“ALL RISE FOR THE QUEEN OF RED'S PROCESSIONAL! ALL HAIL THE QUEEN!” 

As the audience is encouraged to stand, a fanfare of trumpets begins “The March of the Queen of Red.” Two lines of men wearing black uniforms with silver pins march down the aisle until the path is filled, then turn to face one another and salute with fists punched to chests. Four large men, with arms bare to show oiled muscles, carry a chair covered in silk. The Queen of Red sits on the chair wearing a robe of red with silver slashes up and down the lengths of her arms. Le Bord de Dieu wears a white mask on her face and her hair is pulled back in an elaborate braid. They are followed by a four-member team of colorguard, two carrying large poles with the flag of Lacklanland, the Purple Fist on a field of black, one with a snare drum slung over a shoulder keeping time, a third carrying The Knocker, the famed maul of the nation’s founder.

Their procession is painfully slow, forcing every set of eyes to follow them, and each set of soldiers bows low as the Queen of Red’s chair passes by. Once at ringside, she is lifted out of her chair by her strong chairmen and helped into the ring, and is followed the rest of her retinue. Once everyone is in side, Richard Vaughn cries out again:

“THE QUEEN OF RED REQUESTS THAT ALL RISE FOR THE PLAYING OF THE LACKLANLAND NATION ANTHEM!” 

The soldiers all slam fists to chests as the color guard raise the colors of Lacklanand. Le Bord de Dieu stands proudly, her head turned up just above the view of the horizon, as a very distinct instrumental begins to play on the P.A. and a youthful voice with a Londoner accent sings:

O Lacklanland! 

Our home and annexed land! 

True subjection the Queen of Red command 

With glowing fires we see you rise 

The true Champion of Chaos! 

From far and wide 

O Lacklanland, we raise our fists for thee 

God keep our Queen, beautiful and free 

O Lacklanland, we raise our fists for thee! 

O Lacklanland, we raise our fists for thee! 

The guards then take an insanely long amount of time removing the elaborate robe from Le Bord de Dieu as the soldiers and honor guard make their exit. 

Vinegar: Aveline Lacklan has only built momentum as this year has continued. Breaking the previous record for most days as champion, Bordy's next stated goal is to break the longest individual reign. 

Lieberjosch: She's certainly gone to great lengths to legitimize a chamionship that represents the seedy underbelly of the business. 

Vinegar: One thing we have learned, when le Bord calls her shot, it's a spoiler warning. 

Dennis: Ladies and gentleman, the following contest is for the Chaos Championship and thus under Chaos rules! Introducing first, standing at 5'11" and weighing in at 220lbs, he is the Embodiment of Fear, Phrixus DDEEEEEEIIIIIIIIIMOS!! 

Dennis: And his opponent, standing at 5'5" and weighing in at 130lbs, she is the Queen of Red, LE BORDDDDDDDDDDDD DE DIEUUUUUUUU!!! 

Covert Jay: Come on Rhombus, ring my beeee-eeeh-ehhhl! Ring my bell! Ring-a-ling-a-ling-a! 

Lieberjosch: Christ... 

As soon as the bell rings, Deimos slides out of the ring and flips up the ring apron. He begins dragging things out posthaste. By the time de Dieu rushes over and slides out, he has accumulated a ladder, two tables, six or seven chairs, a sledghammer, a toolbox, and a fire extinguisher. Bordy runs at him and launches with a front dropkick to knock him off balance, then gut checks him hard enough to send Deimos sprawling into the security wall.  

Vinegar: Deimos trying to get the early edge, but took his eyes off the prize and paid for it. 

The Fist of God yanks the fire extinguisher off the floor and swings it overhead with both hands, bringing it crashing down on the security barrier where Fear had been only two seconds ago. He fires a kick into her right knee, the force spinning her to the side and giving him and opening to scoop her up in a bear hug. He powers forward, driving her into the turnpost hard enough to make her drop the extinguisher.  

Lieberjosch: Fear in full control now. 

Phrix pounces on the dropped weapon, putting one foot on the cannister and yanking the hose free with both hands. He slides into the ring and whips the hose around the turnpost, lying on his stomach and catching the other end so he can garrote Bordy with it. 

Vinegar: The twisted creativity of the Embodiment of Fear... 

She manages to get an arm up between the hose and her neck, barely escaping a choking situation, but Deimos rolls over onto his back and uses the hose to leverage himself up into a seated position. This forces Bordy up off her tiptoes and off the floor, but she manages to get her feet on the ring steps. Deimos is rocking forward, applying more pressure. 

Lieberjosch: She's scrambling for any kind of purchase on those stairs. 

Bordy gets her feet under her so that she's in a half-crouch, but pushes up hard to break Deimos' hold. She's free, but the suddenly release spills her face first into the Mandalorian announce table. It doesn't give, but she's draped over it, obviously shaken from the impact.  

Covert Jay: That was close!! 

Deimos comes flying off the apron with a flying back elbow, but le Bord drops to the floor and he goes crashing throgh the table!! He's laid out in the rubble of the announce table while de Dieu has come to rest on that ladder. It's a few moments of anxiety as Hazel East checks each of them in turn.  

Vinegar: Another plan backfires for Phrix as he nearly takes himself out of the match. 

Eventually, le Bord shoves her off, turning the ladder on it's side to push herself to her feet. She raises it and starts setting it up at ringside, checking on Deimos as she goes. Once it's in place, she grabs the toolbox and starts to climb. When she gets to the top, Bordy perches herself into a sitting position. She opens the toolbox and watches where Phrixus is beginning to stir, eyeing him like a bird of prey.  

Lieberjosch: What is she planning? 

As soon as he gets up to his knees, de Dieu begins pelting him with tools. Screwdrivers, wrenches, pliers all come flying down at him from on high like a hailstorm, like a plague of metal. He throws his hands up, trying to bat away the projectiles, but he misstimes a big one inch socket that dings him in the temple and drops him like a rock. With a whoop of victory, she leaps off the ladder and brings the toolbox down on his chest with a massive clang! 

Covert Jay: What a tool, that Fear. 

Vinegar: Jesus, that was a stretch. 

Lieberjosch: Thank you, Nick. 

Bordy grabs Phrixus up and rolls him into the ring, sliding in after for the first cover of the match. 

1.. 

2.. 

Covert Jay: Deimos kicks out! 

He's bleeding from the temple, and he rolls over onto his side clutching at the side of his head. Bordy leaps up to her feet and jumps up to land a double foot stomp onto his upper torso. Phrixus reels, grabbing the ropes in desperation and dragging himself back out of the ring. He stumbles around, but le Bord has leapfrogged over the top rop-- and into a desperate slap with a steel chair that swats her out of the air! 

Vinegar: Fear lured Bordy into a trap! 

Bordy crumples against the ring apron, and Deimos goes to work, wailing on her with the chair. When he's sure she's not getting up, he turns and looks at the mess around him. Making a decision, he begins setting up one of the tables. When it's finished, he grabs de Dieu up and rolls her onto the table. Surveying her for a moment, he rolls her back off to the floor, then grabs the other table, and lays it on top of the first one, without bothering to open it up first, essentially creating a double thick tabletop with all the legwork between the layers! 

Lieberjosch: East shouldn't be allowed to call these kinds of matches if she's going to just allow crap like this to happen! 

Seemingly satisfied, he rolls Bordy back onto the table and then climbs up on the apron. He pauses and looks back at her, then gets the fans on their feet as he continues to ascend up the turnbuckles. 

Vinegar: Oh my god... no... 

Covert Jay: MILENNIAL DECAY!! MILENNIAL DECAY THROUGH THE DOUBLE STACKED TABLES! 

Deimos landed a fair distance away, and begins to crawl toward the champ, but he collapses on the way. 

Lieberjosch: Neither competitor is moving, and East is signalling for officials and EMTs to rush down to ringside.  

Both fighters have yet to respond as staff attempts to rouse them.  

Vinegar: I don't know, folks, this might be the end of this one. 

Gurneys are being wheeled out for both of them as EMTs are fitting them with neck braces. As they're carefully loaded onto the gurneys, East is conferring with Dennis and Rhombus about a decision.  

Lieberjosch: It looks like the Creative Director is going to be forced to make an executive decision here. 

Ichabod: That's tough to see, really. A record-breaking reign, with so many records still to break... longest individual reign, most number of defenses... we're still a long way away from calling Le Bord de Dieu the 'greatest' Chaos Champion of all time... and it wouldn't do to have an asterisk on her record because she got to continue defending a championship that was on the line in a match she couldn't finish. Phrixus Deimos deserves his chance to challenge her claim to 'greatest.' This match... will continue. 

Vinegar: WHAT?! 

East shares a worried look with her peers before sighing and heading back to where the EMTs are aghast at Ichabod's decision. She shoos them away reluctantly, as Fear suddenly sits up! He reaches up around his neck, feeling the neckbrace and smiles. Turning around, he spies Bordy stirring on her gurney, and he gingerly slides off his own.  

Lieberjosch: Against all odds, both competitors are back in this. 

Stalking over, he doesn't notice Bordy grab the farther edge of her gurney and suddenly twist toward him. It pitches over and the metal edge slams into his shins, causing him to to fall forward over it as it clatters over on it's side. Le Bord escapes from under him, then leaps up onto his back, running in place momentarily before leaping off to the floor.  

Vinegar: The champ is back in this one! 

Bordy yanks the neckbrace off and reaches over to yank Deimos of the gurney. She drags him into place and sets up for L'étreinte de Dieu. She goes to snap, but the neckbrace is blocking her from twisting his neck!!  

Lieberjosch: Smart, smart!! 

de Dieu claws at the neckbrace, trying to get it off, but Deimos reaches up for an ace crusher! Bordy staggers back, falling against the upturned gurney. She rolls over, still draped over it, as Phrixus runs at her. le Bord turns suddenly, snapping on a drop toe hold over the gurney that slams his face into the trap she had set up on the other side of the gurney, the upright fire extinguisher!! 

Covert Jay: SURPRISE!! 

The foam explodes into his face as it breaks his nose, a white mushroom cloud that blows him back over the gurney. Bordy yanks him up and drags him into the ring, where she makes an exhausted cover. 

1.. 

2.. 

3!!! 

Dennis: Your winner, and still UGWC Chaos Champion, LE BORRRRRRRRD DE DIEEEEEEEEEEU!!

Vinegar: Bordy is the winner, but East is the only one standing as she holds the championship belt, waiting for Bordy to stir so she can hand over her prize.

Lieberjosch: What a mess of senseless carnage. 




Bordy 7.02

Deimos 6.79

[Lord Hastings]

Vinegar: We just witnessed pure carnage in that ring, and I don't know if those two competitors will ever be the same again.

Covert Jay: I know I won't.

Lieberjosch: Le Bord de Dieu showed everyone just why the Chaos Title is, at least to her, the most important championship here in UGWC. Long live the Queen of Red!

Vinegar: And now, newcomer Wrestley McWrestleface tests his luck against 'The Personification of Pain' Zane Scott.

Covert Jay: And if by some chance Zane were to revert back to the old Zane Scott… this match might be even worse than what we just witnessed.

Vinegar: God, I hope not.

Lieberjosch: Mitchell Dennis is ready to make the introductions. Let's go to the ring.

Mitchell Dennis: Ladies and Gentlemen, this next match is scheduled for one fall, and has a thirty minute time limit. Introducing first…

Mitchell Dennis: Standing five-feet ten-inches, and weighing in at one-hundred ninety pounds… he hails from Newark, New Jersey… WRESTLEY MCWRESTLEFACE!!!!!

 Wrestley explodes out from behind the curtain, cartwheeling, back-flipping and spinning in circles the entire way down to ringside. More impressive is the fact he attempts to sign autographs for fans during this spectacle. The most common result of this is illegible Sharpee marks across programs, and on two occasions has resulted in a trip to the ER. Once for a fan, the other time for Joe. 

He makes it to the ring and enters by slipping over the top rope, and then instead of waiting for his opponent calmly, he launches himself from one side of the ring to the other, springboarding off the ropes like a child who has just discovered his parents have no idea he is bouncing on their new $4,000 bed.

Vinegar: Wrestley sure does have a lot of energy.

Lieberjosch: He might want to save some of it for the match.

Mitchell Dennis: And his opponent…

Mitchell Dennis: Standing sic-feet six-inches tall, and weighing in at two-hundred fifty-five pounds… hailing from Poughkeepsie, New York… ZANE SCOTT!

Unsane’s “No Reprieve” begins to blare throughout the arena as the tortured guitar of Chris Spencer and the droning bass of Dave Curran join with Vinnie Signorelli’s punishing drumming. The three men hammer out their angry and unrefined sound as Zane’s new video package plays in the background. Thirty second in Chris begins to belt out the lyrics in his recognized angry and rough sounding style as Zane walks out onto the stage. He pauses at the top of the ramp and looks out across the arena, his expression is calm but intense.

After a few moments he walks down the ramp, slapping hands with a few fans along the way before he gets to the ring. He grabs the middle rope and pulls himself up onto the apron, then steps between the top and middle ropes and into the ring. He walks over to his corner, ascends it and holds his arms up. After a few moments he drops back down and leans against the corner.

Vinegar: Zane Scott is all business here tonight, which might not bode well for McWrestleface.

Covert Jay: I'm curious to see how Zane Scott will combat the speed and agility of Joe.

Lieberjosch: I'm curious to see how far Zane Scott can throw McWrestleface, and how high he will bounce off the mat when Zane throws him into it repeatedly.

Vinegar: The bell has rang, and this match is under way.

Lieberjosch: McWrestleface runs full speed towards Zane, but baseball slides through his legs as 'The Personification of Pain' whiffs at a lock up attempt.

Vinegar: Joe quickly back to his feet, snapping off a side kick that glances off the side of Zane's leg. Joe quickly takes a few steps back, keeping his distance from his much larger opponent.

Lieberjosch: Lock up attempt, but McWrestleface avoids the collar-and-elbow tieup, moving in behind of Zane Scott. He snaps off another quick kick, before once more taking a few steps back.

Covert Jay: And Zane doesn't look happy here in the opening moments of this match.

Lieberjosch: In fairness, when is Zane ever happy?

Covert Jay: Point taken.

Vinegar: Zane finally gets his hands on Wrestley, pushing him back against the ropes. Irish whip across the ring, Zane bending at the waist for a back-body drop.

Lieberjosch: McWrestleface with a sunset flip, but Scott holds his ground, and then reaches now and grabs McWrestleface around the throat.

Covert Jay: Zane just ripped Joe off the mat like he was a five-pound bag of sugar, but 'El Flippy Loco' somehow manages to connect with what might have been a dropkick.

Lieberjosch: Whatever it was, it managed to shove Zane away from him. Scott back towards him, but McWrestleface again eludes the larger man's clutches, rolling him up in a schoolboy.




ON-KICK OUT!!!!!




Vinegar: Not even a one-count before Zane manages to get his shoulder up.

Lieberjosch: Both men back to their feet, but McWrestleface manages to roll him up in a second schoolboy…




ONE!!!!!




KICK OUT!!!!!




Vinegar: Joe did manage a one-count on that one, but that was all before Zane Scott got his shoulder off the mat.

Covert Jay: Both men back to their feet now, and Zane Scott just turned 'The Slenderweight Sensation' completely inside out with a clothesline.

Lieberjosch: Wasn't able to avoid that one, was he?

Covert Jay: I think he knocked Joe's mask slightly askew.

Lieberjosch: Askew? 'Word of the Day' toilet paper?

Covert Jay: How'd you know?

Vinegar: Zane just pulled Wrestley to his feet by his waistband, and he sends him hard into the near corner.

Lieberjosch: Running big boot from Zane Scott connects, and McWrestleface falls limply to the mat.

Covert Jay: Too many more of those, and Joe's head might make its way into the crowd. Talk about a souvenir for a lucky fan.

Vinegar: Zane makes the cover…




ONE!!!!!




TWO!!!!!




KICK OUT!!!!!




Vinegar: Wrestley kicks out at two, and this match continues.

Lieberjosch: Maybe he should have just stayed down. I can't imagine things getting much better for him.

Vinegar: Zane pulls him back to his feet, latches a hold of him, and after taking a few steps tosses him high overhead.

Covert Jay: He just threw him three-quarters of the way across the ring!

Lieberjosch: Likely would have been slightly farther, but the ropes stopped his progress.

Vinegar: Zane stalking over now, reaching down and pulling Joe back to his feet. He lifts him up for a powerbomb, and takes off running towards the opposite corner.

Lieberjosch: Corner powerbomb, and McWrestleface's head snapped back violently.

Covert Jay: Joe stumbling out of the corner and into a sidewalk slam. And Zane covers…




ONE!!!!!




TWO!!!!!




THR-KICK OUT!!!!!




Vinegar: Wrestley kicked out! And Zane looks at him in surprise, obviously thinking this match was over.

Lieberjosch: Zane back to his feet, and pulling McWrestleface back to his. He lifts him up again, and drops him face-first into the top turnbuckle with snake eyes.

Vinegar: He follows that up with a lung blower, and makes another cover.




ONE!!!!!




TWO!!!!!




THRE-NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!




Vinegar: Zane gets back to his feet, taking his time in reaching down and bringing Wrestley back to a vertical base. He shoves him chest-first into the near ropes, and connects with a forearm to the small of Joe's back.

Lieberjosch: McWrestleface holding at the small of his back as he stumbles around towards Zane, and Scott connects with a kick to the stomach that doubles Wrestley over.

Vinegar: Placing Joe's head between his legs, he lifts the smaller man high into the air, before bringing him crashing back down to the mat with a sit-out powerbomb.

Covert Jay: At least six-inches. Maybe seven.

Lieberjosch: What?

Covert Jay: How far Joe bounced off the mat from the force of that powerbomb. Hell, might have been eight-inches.

Lieberjosch: Like you would know what eight-inches looks like…

Covert Jay: Harsh, Doc. Harsh.

Vinegar: Zane rolls himself backwards, popping up into a crouching position as he waits for Wrestley to make his way back to his feet.

Lieberjosch: McWrestleface slowly attempting to get to his feet, still clutching at the small of his back. He's got his back to Zane Scott, which probably isn't a good thing.

Covert Jay: This isn't gonna be good, is it?

Vinegar: Just as Wrestley finally gets to his feet, Zane Scott takes off towards him… Spinebreaker!

Covert Jay: Yeah, just as I figured. Not good.

Vinegar: Zane with the cover…




ONE!!!!!




TWO!!!!!




THRE-NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!




Vinegar: At the last possible second, Wrestley McWrestleface had the wherewithal to, somehow, drape his leg over the bottom rope, breaking the count.

Lieberjosch: I think it was just a result of his body twitching. That's the only thing that makes sense.

Vinegar: Zane is in shock, just looking down at his opponent, slightly shaking his head from side to side.

Covert Jay: Not sure how much more of this Joe can take, guys.

Lieberjosch: He's been through worse.

Covert Jay: Such as?

Lieberjosch: Growing up in New Jersey.

Vinegar: Zane back to his feet, and pulls the limp body of Wrestley McWrestleface back to his. He lifts him high into the air, and just spiked him with a brainbuster.

Lieberjosch: Zane breaking out the Death in Vegas, an obvious tribute to a man who was once his mentor, 'The Greater Evil' Dirge.

Covert Jay: Zane makes the cover, not even bothering to hook the leg…




ONE!!!!!




TWO!!!!!




THREE-NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!




Vinegar: What?!

Lieberjosch: What in the hell just happened?!

Covert Jay: 'El Flippy Loco' kicked the fuck out. That's what just happened!

Lieberjosch: Yeah… but how?!?!

Covert Jay: Shit if I know. Go ask Alice.

Vinegar: Zane conferring with Alice, who verifies that yes, Wrestley McWrestleface unbelievably did just get his shoulder up off the mat. And Zane looks to be at a loss.

Lieberjosch: He's rubbing the top of his head with his hand, obviously not sure how much more punishment he will need to inflict on McWrestleface.

Vinegar: The old Zane Scott would relish in continuing to dish out more punishment on Joe, but that's not who Zane Scott is anymore, Hans. At this point, he has to be wondering if the continued fight from Wrestley McWrestleface will result in him suffering some significant, long-lasting effects.

Covert Jay: If it hasn't happened already…

Vinegar: Zane reaching down and grabbing the mask of Joe, pulling him slowly to his feet.

Lieberjosch: I think McWrestleface is completely out of it, Nicholas. Alice Nasmith should seriously consider stopping the match.

Vinegar: Zane saying 'Why' to him over and over, obviously wondering why Wrestley continues taking this kind of beating.

Covert Jay: Oh shit!

Vinegar: Joe just threw his head up, and connected with the jaw of Zane Scott! And it staggered the big man.

Lieberjosch: Zane attempting to shake it off, but McWrestleface manages to send him face-first into the mat with a drop-toe hold.

Vinegar: Joe crawling towards the far corner, reaching it and using the ropes to pull himself to his feet. He's slumped in the corner , hooking his arms under the top rope to keep from falling back to the mat.

Lieberjosch: Zane back to his feet now, a look of irritation on his face. He's spotted McWrestleface, and he takes off towards him.

Covert Jay: Zane looking to obliterate Joe with a spear, but 'El Flippy Loco' manages to throw himself out of the way at the last possible second, and Zane Scott crashes shoulder first into the steel ring post.

Vinegar: This might be the opening that Wrestley needs.

Lieberjosch: That's if he even knows where he is, Nicholas. Avoiding that spear could have just been dumb luck.

Vinegar: The crowd is really getting behind Wrestley right now, as they have started a chant of 'JOE'.

Covert Jay: Looks like he's trying to block out the pain so that he can feed off of their emotion.

Vinegar: Zane backs out of the corner, still doubled over as he holds his shoulder… bicycle kick by Wrestley sends Zane down to the mat.

Lieberjosch: McWrestleface springs off the middle rope, reverse plancha into a body splash, and hooks the leg…




ONE!!!!!




TW-KICK OUT!!!!!




Vinegar: Not quite a two-count on that pin attempt, but 'The Slenderweight Sensation' makes his way back to his feet, obviously running off of pure adrenaline right now.

Lieberjosch: McWrestleface off the ropes, rolling senton hits the mark, and he makes another cover…




ONE!!!!!




TWO!!!!!




KICK OUT!!!!!




Vinegar: Zane rolls out of the ring, trying to separate himself from Wrestley so he can gather himself.

Covert Jay: Joe doesn't look like he's gonna allow that to happen though…

Vinegar: Wrestley takes off running towards the opposite ropes, bounces off them, and jumps over the top rope, somersaulting over and sending Zane Scott to the floor after connecting with a moonsault!

Lieberjosch: Looks like the landing helped him remember that his back has taken an extreme amount of punishment though. Both men are currently down on the floor.

Covert Jay: The crowd is growing even louder now chanting for this man, and he just kipped up.

Lieberjosch: He's obviously a psychopath.

Vinegar: No, just running off of pure adrenaline and emotion right now, Hans.

Lieberjosch: Whatever you say.

Vinegar: Wrestley over to Zane now, struggling to pull the big man to his feet, sudden kick to the stomach by Zane doubles Wrestley over.

Lieberjosch: Scott lifts McWrestleface up into a vertical suplex, but the 'New Jersey Jumping Navy Bean' floats over and lands behind of Zane…

Covert Jay: He just ran Zane Scott face-first into the ring post! And now he's using everything he has to shove Zane under the bottom rope, and back into the ring.

Vinegar: Wrestley slowly climbing up onto the apron now, and he's climbing the ropes. Wrestley perched up top now, waiting for Zane to get to his feet…

Lieberjosch: Zane finally back up and turns… Upside Down by McWrestleface!

Vinegar: Beautiful hurricanrana by Wrestley there, and Zane is sprawled out in the middle of the ring. Wrestley over to him now… Boy, You Turn Me! And he hooks the leg!!!




ONE!!!!!




TWO!!!!!




THRE-NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!




Vinegar: So close! Wrestley just almost pinned the former World Champion!

Lieberjosch: He needs to stay on him though.

Vinegar: I can't even hear what you're saying right now, Hans. This place is deafening!

Covert Jay: This crowd is definitely at a fever pitch right now… they can't believe what they're seeing!

Lieberjosch: Frankly, neither can I.

Vinegar: Wrestley slowly getting back to his feet again, stepping through the ropes and back out to the ring apron.

Lieberjosch: We know that McWrestleface likes to string moves together, so he is obviously going for Inside Out now.

Vinegar: Wrestley waiting for Zane to make his way back to his feet, which he finally does. Zane turning towards Wrestley, and the little man jumps onto the top rope…

Covert Jay: Looks like he somewhat lost his footing on that top rope, and before he is able to spring off of it, Zane crashes into him, hanging him out to dry on that top rope.

Vinegar: Zane quickly grabs Wrestley in a front face lock, backpedaling a few steps until just Wrestley's feet are on the top rope…

Lieberjosch: DDT to McWrestleface.

Covert Jay: Damn!

Vinegar: Zane back to his feet and pulling Wrestley to his… Irish whip across the ring.

Lieberjosch: McWrestleface returns and Zane pops him up into the air… Murderous Intent! And the cover!




ONE!!!!!




TWO!!!!!




THREE!!!!!




Mitchell Dennis: Ladies and Gentlemen, the winner of this match, ZAAAAAAAAAANEEEEEEEEEEEEEE SCOOOOOOOOOOOOOTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!

Vinegar: Wrestley McWrestleface just took Zane Scott to his limit here tonight. He definitely has nothing to hang his head over here after this match.

Lieberjosch: He gave everything he had, but in the end, 'The Personification of Pain' was just too much for Wrestley McWrestleface.

Covert Jay: The effort he put in was, honestly, probably the damndest thing I've ever seen. Props to 'El Flippy Loco'. That kid is going places, for sure!

Vinegar: Alice Nasmith raising Zane's hand, as Wrestley comes to and slowly tries getting to his feet.

Lieberjosch: Zane walking over now… the old Zane is back!

Vinegar: Zane Scott hastily pulls Wrestley to his feet, but stops.

Covert Jay: The two men standing there, Joe looking up at Zane Scott.

Vinegar: Zane saying something to Wrestley that we can't hear, before nodding at him and then backing up towards the ropes.

Lieberjosch: So disappointing…

Vinegar: Zane exits the ring, taking one last look at Joe before turning and heading up the ramp, as the crowd begins another round of applause for Wrestley McWrestleface.

Covert Jay: And up next… the UGWC Cross-Hemisphere Championship Match! This night just keeps getting better and better!


Voting Results:
Zane Scott: 7.04
Wrestley McWrestleface: 7.00

[Lord Hastings]

Vinegar: We continue here at Seven Deadly Sins, with the Cross-Hemisphere Championship match!

As "Paparazzi" by Lady GaGa plays, purple strobe lighting pulsates through the arena. Roxy makes the crowd wait a few eager moments before emerging from behind the entrance curtain wit her statuesque bodyguard Maxine just behind her, looming.

Taking a second to stand at the top of the entrance ramp, Roxy pulls her Gucci sunglasses down her nose enough to look over them and around at the rowdy crowd. She leans over at the waist with her hand on her hip, exaggeratedly looking from left to right and then back again before standing up straight and strutting toward the ring, blowing kisses to everyone around her along the way.

As she walks toward the ring and the purple strobe lights continue to swirl through the air, fans reach over the barricade attempting to touch her, but she deftly avoids any contact from them and shoots dirty looks at the ones who get closest. Once in the ring, she makes a slow, deliberate show of removing her various jewelry and sunglasses, handing them off the the referee as if she were tossing her keys to a valet driver. Roxy makes her way to her corner,tossing her hair back over her shoulders and soaking in all the flash bulbs popping around her.

Dennis: The following contest is a Submission Match, set for one fall, and is for the Cross-Hemisphere Championship! Introducing first, the challenger, The Peroxide Princess, ROXXXYYYYY COTTTTONNNNNN!!!

Vinegar: Whether she wins or loses tonight, Roxy Cotton is the number one contender to the World Heavyweight Title and will face the champion next month at Massive Melee.

Lieberjosch: That’s not enough for Roxy Cotton. She was permitted to pick any match of her choice for tonight, she wanted the Cross-Hemisphere Title!

The arena goes dark and silent. Suddenly, without warning, the pulsating riffs and beats to "Hardwired" by Metallica blare throughout the arena. Simultaneously, strobes are flashing with the beat. Once the song picks up and continues on, Dave Rydell steps out onto the stage sporting his camp pants and most recent self image shirt, with the sleeves cut off. He's hugging the UGWC Cross Hemisphere Championship. He does not want to let it go. As he saunters down the ramp he starts cussing and yelling at fans who try to get under his skin. He then holds up the Cross Hemisphere Title, points to it, then himself. He continues to scream at them until he rolls into the ring. He holds the belt up to a clear cut, 50/50 mixed reaction.

Dennis: And her opponent, he is the reigning AND defending Cross-Hemisphere Champion, the Virus of Life, DAAAVVEE RYYYYYDEEELLLLLLLLL!!!

Vinegar: What a roll Rydell has been on this year, a dominant run with Angelica Vaughn as the Cooperative Champions, and now defending as the Cross-Hemisphere Champion.

Covert Jay: Rydell has been enjoying a career renaissance going back to late last year, his future has never looked brighter.

Lieberjosch: Both of these Entertainment Professional closely tied to the World Champion, you have to wonder what Angie thinks of all this.

DING DING

Vinegar: Double elbow tie-up, Rydell and Cotton both grappling for position.

Lieberjosch: Rydell takes her down to the mat-

Covert Jay: RYDELL LOCK!!

Vinegar: The crossface applied by the champion, Cotton manages to slip out before he can fully lock it in, she rolls under the ropes to ringside!

Lieberjosch: Roxy Cotton knows how much of a disaster that nearly was, and you can see it on Rydell’s face, he knows he nearly had her!

Vinegar: Remember that this is a Submission Match, pinfalls are inconsequential, only by forcing your opponent to tap out can you achieve victory here tonight.

Covert Jay: Roxy collects herself on the outside, she wants Rydell backed up before she’ll come back into the ring.

Vinegar: Brian Chartreuse backs Rydell up as Cotton cautiously steps back into the ring. Rydell pushes past the referee and swings for a clothesline, but Cotton ducks under it and chops Rydell in the chest, backing him into the corner.

Lieberjosch: Roxy stomps Rydell down in the corner and pins him by the throat against the turnbuckle with her boot. Chartreuse is telling her to stop, but there are no disqualifications in this submission only match.

Vinegar: Cotton backs off and reminds the referee as much before charging back in for the Kitty Buster!

Covert Jay: Roxy pulls Rydell up out of the corner, whipping him across the ring to the opposite corner.

Vinegar: Cotton handsprings into an elbow, but Rydell moves out of the way and she crashes into the turnbuckle!

Covert Jay: Roxy stumbles out of the corner as Rydell comes off the ropes for the Tip of the Spear!

Vinegar: But Cotton sidesteps and takes him down with a drop toe hold!

Lieberjosch: DTF!!!

Vinegar: Cotton trying to lock in the DTF, but it’s Rydell now that manages to slip free before the hold can be locked in!

Lieberjosch: Rydell to the outside, but Roxy is out on the apron, she leaps and connects with Meteora!

Vinegar: And now Roxy Cotton is reaching underneath the ring, seems to be looking for something. She ignores Chartreuse’s pleads for her to come back into the ring and pulls out two kendo sticks!

Covert Jay: She’s got wood!

Vinegar: Rydell is trying to get back to his feet, but Cotton begins blasting him with both sticks!

Lieberjosch: She’s firing with both barrels!

Vinegar: Cotton smacks Rydell repeatedly with both kendo sticks, staggering him before delivering a roundhouse kicks that knocks him up onto the apron and rolling back into the ring. Cotton slides in with both sticks, delivering a pair of blows to the back before dropping one stick and placing the other under Rydell’s chin.

Lieberjosch: Camel Toe Clutch!!!

Vinegar: Another submission hold applied by Roxy Cotton, using the kendo stick to deliver extra punishment, nothing the referee can do about that!

Covert Jay: Rydell is flailing for the ropes, but they are out of reach!

Vinegar: Cotton leans back to increase the pressure of the hold, but Rydell manages to grab the other kendo stick, and he swings back and manages to knock Cotton off!

Lieberjosch: Roxy staggers as Rydell gets to his feet and smacks her with the kendo stick again, before throwing it out of the ring and comes off the ropes!

Covert Jay: TIP OF THE SPEAR!!!

Vinegar: Cotton drilled with the Tip of the Spear, the kendo stick that she was holding clatters to the mat, and Rydell stands and kicks it out of the ring.

Lieberjosch: Rydell goes to pull Roxy up, but she throws back an elbow and catches him on the chin, knocking him away.

Vinegar: Cotton comes off the ropes with a hip attack, but Rydell sidesteps it, and he pulls her to the mat and into the Rydell Lock!

Covert Jay: And this time he has it locked full in!

Vinegar: Roxy Cotton is trapped in the Rydell Lock, she is clawing at the grip, but she isn’t going to be able to break it!

Covert Jay: She might be regretting her choice right now!

Lieberjosch: Roxy Cotton never makes mistakes, only happy accidents!

Covert Jay: Yeah, she looks pretty happy.

Vinegar: Cotton stretching for the ropes, Rydell trying to increase the pressure!

Lieberjosch: She’s about to tap!

Covert Jay: ROXY GRABS THE ROPES!!!

Vinegar: Cotton saving herself by reaching the ropes, Rydell forced to break the hold.

Lieberjosch: And now Dave Rydell is stalking her, lying in wait for the Virus of Life as Roxy pulls herself up with the ropes, don’t turn around!

Vinegar: She’s turning around.

Covert Jay: VIRUS OF LIFE!!!

Vinegar: Cotton shoves him away at the last moment, he comes off the ropes right into a hip attack! Rydell tries to get back to his feet!

Lieberjosch: MUFF DIVER!!!

Vinegar: Rydell planted with the Muff Diver, and now Cotton puts him into the figure four headlock!

Lieberjosch: WET DREAM!!!

Covert Jay: Wet Dreams for Dave Rydell, and the ropes are completely out of reach!

Vinegar: Rydell struggling with the hold, he’s got nowhere to go!

Covert Jay: Rydell shifting, he manages to twist their positioning, Roxy’s shoulders are pinned to the mat!

Lieberjosch: It’s three seconds, but he could pin her for thirty seconds, it doesn’t matter, this match is submission only!

Vinegar: Cotton maintains the hold, Rydell trying to get leverage, but she shifts and puts them back in the original position!

Covert Jay: He’s got no choice!

Lieberjosch: RYDELL TAPS!!!!

Dennis: Here is your winner, and the NEW Cross-Hemisphere Champion...ROXXXYY COTTTOONNNNNNN!!!!!

Vinegar: Roxy Cotton wins, a month before she challenges for the World Heavyweight Title, she is the new Cross-Hemisphere Champion!

Lieberjosch: Roxy’s headed into that match with all the momentum in the world, but who will she be challenging?

Covert Jay: We’ll find out later tonight!


Roxy Cotton - 7.04

Dave Rydell - 6.99

[Lord Hastings]

Vinegar: It’s been a fantastic night of action tonight and it’s only going to get better.

Lieberjosch: I agree, Nick. Between the crowning of a new World Champion in Kenzi-Lacklan and the match that we’re about to be treated to, I don’t see any company’s show finishing as strong as tonight’s event it.

Covert Jay: You said “finishing”.

Lieberjosch: Of course I did, we’re almost at the end of the show.

Covert Jay: I know, but you said finishing.

Lieberjosch: Can you get through one show without being a juvenile idiot?

Vinegar: Gentlemen, if we could continue please?

Lieberjosch: Quite right, Nicholas.

Vinegar: Thank you. Now while I disagree with your assumption that Kenzi Gray is going to unseat our reigning World Champion, Angelica Vaughn, we have one more Main Event quality match to enjoy before that!

Lieberjosch: Quite right, Nicholas. In our co-Main Event we will have the pleasure of witnessing two UGWC legends go at it in a match that has been in the making for years!

Vinegar: Absolutely. I’d say that the grounds for this rivalry began back when “The Lord of Pain” and “The Vain One” were members of “The Puppet Masters”. At the very least, it’s a match between the two greatest World Champions in the history of UGWC. That alone makes this match and this unconventional rivalry worth watching.

Lieberjosch: I think you nailed it right on the head, Nick. “Unconventional” is the right way to describe their rivalry. Donovan Hastings in arguably the greatest UGWC World Champion in history because he holds the record for World Championship reigns with five. Conversely, Alan Wallace holds the record for the longest combined time as World Champion at nearly five hundred days!

Vinegar: Exactly. Remember that Alan Wallace has the fourth and fifth longest single reigns as World Champion at one hundred and eighty-nine days and one hundred and seventy-five days respectively. Who’s the man who sits right above him at number three?

Lieberjosch: Donovan Hastings.

Vinegar: Exactly. He has the third longest individual reign at two-hundred and three days.

Lieberjosch: For men with personal and professional pride such as these two men, that’s important. No one but Hastings and Wallace would ever debate their importance to the company, or which one of them is more important.

Vinegar: Yet here we are.

Lieberjosch: Indeed, and as you mentioned, these two men didn’t like each other and didn’t get along at all when they were in “The Puppet Masters”. Their rivalry, and Wallace’s rise to prominence are two of the biggest reasons that that superstable failed as it did. I’m not sure that Hastings has ever forgiven Wallace for that.

Vinegar: Meanwhile, Wallace went on to be a member of what many consider to be the greatest stable in the history of UGWC in “The Syndicate” and to be one half of what is argued to be the greatest Co-Operative team in UGWC history in “Sex and Violence” with Killian King.

Lieberjosch: Absolutely, Nick. There’s an awful lot of water between these two men and not much bridge. The question is, which one will end up washing the other away?

Vinegar: Nice use of symbolism.

Lieberjosch: Thank you.

Covert Jay: I wonder if this will actually settle anything.

Vinegar: That’s a good question, Jay.

Lieberjosch: Surprisingly, yes.

Covert Jay: This is a gigantic match, guys. Two of the four greatest World Champions in the history of the company are fighting tonight. That’s huge!

Lieberjosch: For once we agree.

Vinegar: I don’t doubt for a second that the winner will consider their issues a done deal after tonight. I’m not at all certain that the loser will feel that way.

Lieberjosch: I doubt it. His pride won’t allow it.

Vinegar: I think that it’ll be easier for Hastings to walk away from that than it could be for “Vain”, after all, Hastings has his partnership with Kenzi Gray-Lacklan to fall back on. What does Alan Wallace have?

Lieberjosch: Arguably the greatest career in UGWC history.

Vinegar: I don’t see that being enough for him, especially with how he’s felt about his career lately.

Lieberjosch: Again, you raise a good point and it’s a question that I don’t have an answer for. We’ll find out in a couple of weeks.

Vinegar: Indeed we might.

Lieberjosch: But that’s then. Tonight we’re going to find out who the best World Champion in UGWC history is.

Vinegar: Travis Roberts might have something to say about that.

Lieberjosch: Then I hope he has good vocal chords, or no one is going to hear him.

Vinegar: Was that a joke?

Lieberjosch: It might have been.

Covert Jay: Stop horning in on my shtick.

Lieberjosch: When you do it, it’s shtick. When I do it, it’s genius.

Vinegar: Moving on. I’m not trying to venture into the realm of hyperbole with how big this match is, but if one thinks about who these two men have beaten to win the World Championship, it’s a “who’s who” of the greatest talent in the history of the company.

Lieberjosch: Not just of the company, but of the business!

Vinegar: I agree, Hans! There’s no doubt that both of these men are legends and this match
could be the Main Event for ANY pay-per-view for ANY company!

Lieberjosch: But WE have them here!

Vinegar: Right you are, Hans! Let’s get to the ring introductions!

Mitchell Dennis: Ladies and gentlemen welcome to your CO-MAIN EVENT!

Vinegar: Listen to the fans, they are excited for this match!

Lieberjosch: They should be!

Mitchell Dennis: This match is for ONE FALL!

Fans and Covert Jay: ONE FALL!!

Lieberjosch: I hate that.

Vinegar: They’re just having fun.

Lieberjosch: I still hate it.

Mitchell Dennis: Introducing first!



The Lord of Pain“ Donovan Hastings walks out onto the ramp in his dark cloak. He pauses on the stage and opens his arms to the adoring peasantry. He soaks the moment in and then proceeds to the ring. Once he’s in, Referee Sam Green performs his pre-match checks and once he’s satisfied with what he doesn’t find, he steps back and waits as Mitchell Dennis finishes his ring entrance.

Dennis: Entering today at six feet, two inches tall and weighing in at two hundred and thirty pounds, he hails from Hartford, Connecticut...ladies and gentlemen, he is “The Lord of Pain”, DONOVAN HAAAAAASTINNNNNNNGS!!!

Vinegar: Donovan has wanted this match for years and he looks completely focused!

Lieberjosch: That could spell horrible and painful things for “The Vain One”.

Vinegar: Maybe, but it’s been a year since Hastings has been in a match this big and the last time he was, it didn’t go his way.

Lieberjosch: “The Lord of Pain” is one-half the Co-Operative Champions. He’s not as out of step as you make him sound. Plus, he has his secret weapon.

Vinegar: Secret weapon?

Lieberjosch: Yes.

Vinegar: Okay...

Lieberjosch: Surely you haven’t forgotten already.

Vinegar: I have no idea what you’re talking about.

Lieberjosch: Jay?

Covert Jay: Hiiiiiiiiya!

Vinegar: OW!! Damn it, Jay!

Lieberjosch: I wasn’t telling you to DO it to him, you moron!

Vinegar: What the hell did you do that for?

Covert Jay: He asked me if I know what the “Super Kick” is.

Lieberjosch: I was asking you to tell me. Not to poke Nick in the eyes.

Covert Jay: Oh. Oops. Sorry, Nick.

Lieberjosch: I don’t think he’s forgiven you.

Vinegar: I’m going to move on. I assume that the blurriness will go away in a little while.

Lieberjosch: Hopefully. I’d hate to call most of a match as momentous as the masked idiot at our table.

Covert Jay: That’s not a nice thing to say to Nick.

Lieberjosch: He’s not wearing a mask.

Covert Jay: Oh. RIght. That’s not nice, Doc.

Lieberjosch: Neither was poking Nick in the eyes.

Covert Jay: You told me to.

Vinegar: Would you two stop?! “Vain”s entrance is about to start.

Lieberjosch: We wouldn’t want to miss that.

Covert Jay: Are you being sarcastic?

Lieberjosch: Perish the thought! I’d never be sarcastic about the “Vain One”!

Vinegar: Pull yourself off of the floor before you hurt yourself.

Lieberjosch: I’m giving him his proper respect.

Vinegar: Sure...let’s go to Mitchell.

Dennis: And his OPPONENT...



The lights go out, and stay out for a few seconds, before a lone spotlight begins to shine down upon the stage. As the music first starts out, fireworks go off around the area that the spotlight showcases. Up through the flooring of the stage rises 'Vain' Alan Wallace - a buxom blonde standing to his left, and a gorgeous brunette standing to his right. As the lift that they are being raised by comes to a stop, the two women drop to their knees and turn towards him, running their hands down his chest and abs, before giving each other a kiss. Vain tosses the hood of his robe back, revealing that beautiful money maker of his, and then throws his arms up in the air as he begins walking towards the ring, and his two harlots make their way backstage. Upon entering the ring, he spins around in a circle with his arms raised high, basking in the reaction of the people. He then prepares for the his match with “The Lord of Pain”, as his music begins to fade out.

Dennis: He stands at six feet, four inches tall, weighs in at two hundred and thirty pounds and hails from Miami, Florida. He is “Vain” ALAN WALLLLLLLLACCCCCCE!!!!

Lieberjosch: It’s time for “The Lord of Pain” versus “The Lord of Vain”!

Vinegar: Did you just make up another nickname for Alan Wallace?

Lieberjosch: Sort of.

Vinegar: Good grief.

Lieberjosch: I’m sorry that you can’t appreciate my genius.

Vinegar: Right. Genius. Moving on, Referee Sam Green is going to have his hands full with this match.

Lieberjosch: I won’t argue with that. Donovan feels as if he has to prove something by beating “Vain” and “Vain” sees this as way to notch another legend in his resume and get off of what he feels is a bit of a...bad streak.

Covert Jay: Schnide.

Lieberjosch: Sure.

Vinegar: Sam is done checking both men and there’s the bell!

Lieberjosch: This might be the greatest match in the history of UGWC. Just think of their combined accomplishments. Eight World Heavyweight Championship reigns, five Cross-Hemisphere Championship reigns, all by Wallace and fourteen Co-Operative Championship reigns combined.

Vinegar: They’re definitely two of the most impressive talents that this company has ever seen and I don’t personally see one match settling the “which one is better” question between them.

Lieberjosch: I agree, Nick. This won’t settle anything for at least one of them.

Covert Jay: Presumably the loser. La-hooo-za-herrrrr.

Lieberjosch: I really hate you sometimes.

Vinegar: Hastings and “Vain” are circling each other as the excitement of the crowd continues to build.

Lieberjosch: The tension is thick.

Covert Jay: Can it be cut with a knife?

Lieberjosch: Another cliche tossed...

Vinegar: The two men finally lockup and proceed to shove each other back and forth across the ring. Neither man has gained an early advantage. In terms of height, weight and build they’re so similar. Even their experience is nearly identical.

Lieberjosch: I don’t see either man gaining an easy advantage. This is going to turn into a war of attrition.

Vinegar: That’s likely, unless one somehow gets frustrated and makes a mistake.

Covert Jay: We could be here all night.

Vinegar: The two break off their tie up and just stare at each other. You can almost literally see the wheels turning in both of their heads.

Covert Jay: There are wheels in their heads? That’s weird.

Lieberjosch: It’s a figure of speech, you imbecile.

Vinegar: The two continue to circle each other and their stares have turned into matching smirks.

Lieberjosch: They’re so similar to each other in so many ways.

Vinegar: I think they’d both be offended to hear you say that, but it’s so true in so many ways.

Lieberjosch: At the risk of being a bit cliche, you can feel the electricity in the arena right now.

Vinegar: I agree, Hans. The energy here continues to build and I’m sure both of the men in the ring can sense it as they occasionally look out over the crowd every few seconds. This really is one of the biggest moments in the history of UGWC.

Lieberjosch: “The Lord of Pain” and “The Lord of Vain” continue to let the tension build. They really are two absolute masters of their craft.

Vinegar: Absolutely. Both men continue to circle each other and every time they motion as if they’re going to lock up again, the entire arena inhales and the majority of it stands up. I don’t know if I’ve ever seen anything like this.

Covert Jay: Some guy in the first row keeps breathing on the back of my neck.

Lieberjosch: Maybe he likes you.

Covert Jay: He’s breathing pretty heavily.

Lieberjosch: He’s excited. This is an incredible moment.

Vinegar: Hastings and Wallace stop circling each other and once again are engaged in another staredown.

Lieberjosch: They just continue to build up the anticipation.

Covert Jay: I don’t know if the guy behind me can take this much longer.

Lieberjosch: Are you afraid he’s going to ask you for a hug?

Covert Jay: At this rate he’s going to be humping my leg.

Vinegar: Hastings suddenly shoots for Wallace’s leg, but the “Vain One” deftly leaps out of the way. “The Lord of Pain” leaps to his feet and faces “Vain”, who smirks and claps. “The Lord of Pain” responds with a bow.

Covert Jay: Nice flourish. He does have a flair for the dramatic.

Lieberjosch: He’s always understood how to build drama better than almost anyone else.

Vinegar: Both men do and there’s going to be a lot of this gamesmanship.

Lieberjosch: Neither man is going to do anything that’ll allow the other to think that he’s gotten into his head.

Vinegar: “Vain” grabs for Hastings and executes a picture perfect arm drag, but Hastings rolls through it and kips up to his feet.

Lieberjosch: This time it’s Hastings doing the mocking.

Covert Jay: And “Vain” doing the bowing.

Vinegar: The two legends begin to circle each other again, with each one looking for an opening.

Covert Jay: I was hoping for a wild brawl.

Vinegar: You might get that eventually. Right now it’s a game of one-upmanship.

Lieberjosch: I don’t see this coming to fisticuffs for quite a while.

Vinegar: Wallace and Hastings tie up again and this time Wallace ends up in a side headlock. Hastings twists it in, making sure to grind his forearm across Wallace’s forehead as he sinches it in.

Lieberjosch: “The Lord of Pain” is a master of the mental game..

Vinegar: Hastings wrenches it in, but “Vain” leans back and shoves him off. Hastings bounces off of the ropes and comes springing back, straight into a suplex from “Vain”.

Lieberjosch: Attempted suplex.

Vinegar: Hastings floats over and and lands on his feet. He goes for a chop block…

Covert Jay: OIe!

Lieberjosch: “Ole”? Wallace shows brilliant ring awareness and the best you can do is “ole”?

Covert Jay: It was the first thing that came to mind.

Lieberjosch: The line to the front of that club is painfully short.

Vinegar: Wallace sidesteps Hastings attempted chop block and and goes to stomp him in the middle of the back, but Hastings avoids it at the last second.

Lieberjosch: They’re both such gifted ring generals.

Vinegar: Wallace goes for another stomp, but Hastings catches it and forcefully shoves Wallace away by his heel. Hastings staggers back but manages to keep his balance as Hastings once again leaps to his feet.

Lieberjosch: They’re so evenly matched.

Vinegar: The two men advance on each other and lock up again. This time Wallace gets the advantage and takes takes Hastings over with a headlock takedown. Hastings shifts his weight and wraps Wallace up head first. Wallace struggles for a second before he powers out of the hold and leaps onto Hastings. He locks the former Creative Director in a side headlock on the canvas.

Lieberjosch: It’s such a chess game between these two

Vinegar: You sound like such a fanboy right now.

Lieberjosch: Why wouldn’t I be?

Vinegar: Hastings works his arms up until he can get his hands under Wallace’s knees. He slowly forces them up then gets to his feet, grabs Vain and tries to roll him into a Boston Crab, but Wallace kicks him away with both feet before he rolls backwards and to his feet.

Lieberjosch: Listen to that applause.

Vinegar: The fans appreciate great talent.

Covert Jay: When is this going to speed up?

Vinegar: When either man decides it’s time to. Right now they’re still trying to find an opening to attack from.

Covert Jay: I wish they’d hurry up.

Lieberjosch: Brilliance won’t be rushed.

Vinegar: Hastings and Wallace tie up again. They push back and forth again until Hastings gets the upper hand and pushes Wallace back into the corner. He takes a step back, winds up and lets fly with a nasty chop.

Covert Jay: Did you hear that?

Vinegar: Hastings steps back, points at the red spot on Wallace’s chest and smirks. Wallace looks down at it and nods as he looks back at Hastings. He steps out of the corner and applauds. He walks to center ring and smiles at Hastings, who smirks back.

Covert Jay: Did he just…

Lieberjosch: Yes.

Vinegar: Wallace just patted Hastings on the top of his head like he’s a little child.

Lieberjosch: Ok...even I wasn’t expecting that.

Covert Jay: I was expecting him to haul off and punch Hastings into next week.

Vinegar: The back and forth mind games continue.

Lieberjosch: I thought that I saw a momentary flash of annoyance in Hastings eyes, but it might have been a trick of the light.

Vinegar: “Vain” backs up and gestures Hastings forward again. “The Lord of Pain” chuckles to himself and advances on “The Vain One” slowly. The two stare each other down for a few moments before they both go for another tie up.

Lieberjosch: Swerve!

Vinegar: Hastings ducked under and comes up on the other side of “Vain”, who spun around.

Covert Jay: And right into the Super Kick!

Lieberjosch: Hastings had Sam Green perfectly blocked out so that he didn’t see it.

Vinegar: “Vain” is staggering around the ring waving blindly as Hastings stands back and smiles with satisfaction.

Lieberjosch: Brilliant! That’s how you get an advantage.

Vinegar: “Vain” stumbles around as he tries to clear his eyes and walks straight into spinebuster. Hastings transitions it into a cloverleaf..

Lieberjosch: It’s a great strategy. Think about it, if Hastings can neutralize his legs, then Wallace can’t use “The Curtain Call” or “The Money Maker” and it also takes away the flying elbow drop, the flying clothesline, the moonsault, the flying cross body, the middle rope knee drop and perhaps even his leaping guillotine legdrop.

Vinegar: That’s all true, but it’s going to take more than one cloverleaf to neutralize that much of Wallace’s offense.

Lieberjosch: That’s true, but he has to start somewhere.

Vinegar: Hastings adds torque to the move by leaning backwards. Wallace grits his teeth in pain but refuses to submit as he begins to pull himself towards the ropes.

Lieberjosch: He’d better get the hold broken soon or he won’t be able to walk.

Vinegar: Wallace inches towards the ropes as Hastings continues to punish his right leg.

Covert Jay: He’s so close…

Lieberjosch: Less than an inch.

Vinegar: So close!

Lieberjosch: No! Hastings pulls him back out to center ring!

Vinegar: Great ring awareness by Hastings. He releases the hold just long enough to pull Wallace up and slam him down knee first into the mat. Wallace grimaces in pain, but once again doesn’t make a sound. Hastings pulls him up and slams him down again, then turns around, wraps his foot up into Wallace’s and bends him back into an Indian Deathlock.

Lieberjosch: He’s such an artist in the ring!

Vinegar: Should I have one of the crew get your pom poms for you?

Covert Jay: Pom poms? I don’t get it.

Lieberjosch: Of course you don’t.

Vinegar: Hastings is putting a lot of torque on Wallace’s neck.

Lieberjosch: He’s methodically picking “The Vain Lord” apart.

Vinegar: He has the advantage, but if Wallace has proven anything in his career, it’s that he’s resilient.

Lieberjosch: That’s true.

Vinegar: Wallace continues to yank back on Wallace’s neck as he keeps the pressure on his right leg.

Lieberjosch: I’m sure that even now, that the “Money Maker” is planning his escape. Hastings has to know that and he’s calculating his response to that.

Covert Jay: And I bet that Wallace is calculating a response to Hastings response, which Hastings is anticipating and thinking of a response to Wallace’s response to his response, which Wallace has undoubtedly thought of and…

Lieberjosch: Enough.

Vinegar: You opened the cover to this abyss.

Lieberjosch: And I regretted it the second that he started babbling.

Vinegar: Hastings releases the hold and picks Wallace up. He runs at the turnbuckle....

Covert Jay: Ninja!

Vinegar: Wallace rolls back and lands on the mat, but his leg gives out! Hastings turns around…

Covert Jay: Swinging neckbreaker by Wallace!

Vinegar: Both men are down!

Lieberjosch: But for how long? Wallace has taken all of the punishment so far and his right leg gave out mere moments ago!

Vinegar: I don’t always like how Wallace handles himself, but he’s proven himself to be tough and resilient.

Lieberjosch: Too true.

Vinegar: Sam’s count is up to four and Hastings is already moving. Wallace has pulled himself to the corner and is trying to shake out the pain in his leg.

Covert Jay: He’d better hurry up, because “The Lord of Pain” is back up to his feet already.

Lieberjosch: Nice job stating the obvious.

Covert Jay: Thank you.

Lieberjosch: It wasn’t a compliment.

Vinegar: Hastings sees the still downed Wallace and smiles. He charges at him and it looks like he’s going for a knee strike.

Lieberjosch: If he connects with this, it could be a much earlier night than we all expected.

Vinegar: It could have been, but “Vain” grabbed the bottom rope and used it to pull himself out onto the apron at the last second. Hastings slams knee first into the turnbuckle. “Vain” grabs him be the leg and whips it out from under him, then pulls him back…

Covert Jay: That hurt me just looking at it!

Lieberjosch: Me too.

Covert Jay: It’s about to get worse. There’s nothing “ninja” about this!

Lieberjosch: I find myself forced to agree, as much as I hate to admit that.

Vinegar: Wallace whips Hastings leg around the post and then stands back and applauds himself as Hastings howls in pain.

Lieberjosch: The mind games continue.

Vinegar: Yeah, but it’s obvious that “Vain” still hasn’t quite gotten his leg to loosen up yet.

Lieberjosch: No, but he seems to have a plan in spite of it.

Vinegar: He slides back into the ring and yanks Hastings out of the corner. Hastings staggers a bit but stays on his feet. “Vain” backs up a few steps…

Lieberjosch: Good move by “Vain”.

Vinegar: “Vain” with a chop block on Hastings, which he follows up with a vicious kick to Hastings weakened knee.

Covert Jay: He’s celebrating it like he just won the match.

Vinegar: “Vain” pulls Hastings up and throws him shoulder first into the corner, then runs up behind him and kicks the injured leg out from under him.

Lieberjosch: It looks like Hastings landed hard on the back of his head.

Vinegar: “Vain” follows it up with more trash talk as he pulls Hastings up to his feet.

Covert Jay: He’s returning the favor from the “Super Kick”!

Lieberjosch: He’s really digging his fingers into Hastings eyes!

Vinegar: He’d better be careful, or Sam will disqualify him!

Lieberjosch: He knows what he’s doing. He’ll break his hold right before Sam reaches five.

Vinegar: I don’t know that I’d call it a “hold”.

Lieberjosch: He’s holding him by his face, isn’t he?

Vinegar: Yes.

Lieberjosch: Then it’s a hold.

Vinegar: Thanks for that, Pedantic Pete.

Lieberjosch: Hey, I’m here to educate.

Vinegar: How helpful of you. “Vain” finally breaks the…

Lieberjosch: Hold.

Vinegar: Whatever. He breaks his grip at four and now it’s Hastings turn to stagger away clutching at his eyes. “Vain” gives his leg a few more stretches for good measure, then advances on Hastings. He punches Hastings in the back and drives him into the mat with another spinning neckbreaker. He kips up and applauds himself again, then hauls Hastings up and slams him down onto the mat with a snap suplex, then drives an elbow into his sternum. Hastings writhes in agony on the mat as Hastings stands up and takes a bow.

Lieberjosch: My how the times have turned.

Vinegar: All it took was a cheap shot to do it.

Lieberjosch: Neither man has spared the shortcuts so far.

Vinegar: That’s a fair point. It’s obvious that there’s no love lost between these two.

Lieberjosch: It’s been simmering for a few years.

Vinegar: “Vain” pulls Hastings up, wraps him up and tosses him across the ring with a belly to belly suplex. He advances on the “Lord of Pain”, yanks him off of the mat and connects with a quick knee breaker on Hasting’s weakened knee. Hastings staggers away but Wallace grabs him and connects with an atomic drop, then spins him around and connects with a clothesline, which drops Hastings to the mat.

Lieberjosch: “Vain” drops to a knee. It looks like his bad leg is still bothering him.

Vinegar: This could be the break that Hastings needs if he can shake the cobwebs out and take advantage of it.

Lieberjosch: It could be. We’ll see if he can take advantage of it.

Covert Jay: Maybe he’s playing…

Lieberjosch: Playing what?

Covert Jay: I can’t remember the saying.

Lieberjosch: Thank heaven for small favors.

Vinegar: Hastings is stirring in the corner while “Vain” continues to loosen his leg up.

Lieberjosch: Hastings had better hurry up, because “Vain” appears to have loosened his leg up.

Vinegar: He has, meanwhile Hastings has pulled himself to his feet with the aid of the ropes. “Vain” gives his leg one more good shake, then charges at Hastings in the corner.

Covert Jay: Ole!

Lieberjosch: Ok, that time I guess that’s acceptable.

Vinegar: Wallace slams chest first into the turnbuckle and staggers out of the corner. Hastings grabs him and drives a stiff kick into his stomach.

Covert Jay: Destiny’s Call!

Lieberjosch: Great execution by Hastings! He might have it here!

Vinegar: He drops into the cover! Sam drops for the count!

Covert Jay: One!

Lieberjosch: Two!

Vinegar: No! “Vain” kicks out at two point three!

Lieberjosch: He almost had him!

Vinegar: Hastings leaps up and yanks “Vain” off of the canvas! It looks like he’s going for a second “Destiny’s Call”!

Lieberjosch: “Vain” blocks it with his leg!

Vinegar: “Vain” grabs Hastings by his chest, pulls him up and throws him! Hastings crashes down chest first into the mat. Wallace follows him, pulls him up and spikes him into the mat with a piledriver. Wallace drops over him and drapes his arm over for the pin.

Lieberjosch: One!

Fans: Two!

Vinegar: Hastings kicks out! “Vain” pulls him up lifts him off of the mat.

Lieberjosch: Backbreaker!

Vinegar: Wallace pulls Hastings up, wraps his arms around his waist and drives Hastings back first into the corner. He pulls him out and drives him into the ringpost again, then hooks his arms and drives him down chest first into the mat.

Lieberjosch: He appears to have his second wind.

Vinegar: Wallace ascends the turnbuckle and points down at Hastings as if he’s lining something up…

Covert Jay: Air Money Maker!

Vinegar: Wallace lands a ring shaking elbow drop in the middle of Hastings’ back. He pops up, turns over and drops down for the pin.

Cover Jay: Why’s he pinning him? That’s not enough to finish Hastings off!

Lieberjosch: No, but it does force him to expend energy and put additional strain on his lower back. If Wallace can weaken Hastings back enough, he won’t be able to do either “Destiny’s Call” or “Inevitability”.

Vinegar: Wallace stands up and kicks Hastings in the back again. He smiles as Hastings writhes on the mat, then climbs up onto the turnbuckle.

Lieberjosch: A knee to the back, perhaps?

Vinegar: It’s looking that way.

Covert Jay: He’s still moving a little slow because of his weakened knee.

Vinegar: Yes, but he’s still up there. “Vain” mocks Hastings from the top and leaps!

Lieberjosch: What counter by Hastings! “Hands of Fate”!!

Vinegar: Hastings dodges the attempted elbow drop and locks “The Vain One” in the hands of fate!

Lieberjosch: Wallace is yelling in pain as he struggles to break the hold.

Vinegar: His actions are frenzied, but his eyes are calm. It looks like he’s trying to get his foot on the bottom rope.

Lieberjosch: Hastings knows it. He’s a great ring general. Maybe the greatest.

Vinegar: The problem he has is that he might have to break the hold in order to move Wallace back to center ring.

Lieberjosch: I’m sure that he’s aware of that.

Vinegar: Wallace is inching closer and closer. Both men are tired and want to find a way to put the other away and it may be the case that Hastings is more tired than he looks, or that his back is bothering him more than we think it is.

Lieberjosch: That may be.

Vinegar: “Vain” lifts up his leg and kicks the mat with his heel.

Lieberjosch: My god. That was a hell of a knee.

Vinegar: It was and it clearly rocked Hastings a bit. Wallace lifts his leg and drives another knee into Hastings back..

Lieberjosch: Hastings hands have loosened, but has it already done the damage that he needs?

Vinegar: “Vain” drives another knee strike into Hastings back which causes Hastings to release the hold. “Vain” rolls away and drops out of the ring to the floor as Hastings clutches at his back.

Lieberjosch: That was a smart move by “Vain”. Now Hastings has to go and get him and the act of hauling Wallace up and pushing him into the ring is only going to put further strain on Hastings back.

Vinegar: Yes, but how much did the “Hands of Fate” wear away at “Vain”?

Lieberjosch: We’ll find out soon.

Vinegar: Hastings gets to his feet, looks around the ring and frowns. He walks over to the ropes and looks down where he sees “Vain” laying on the floor. He steps out of the ring and drops to the floor where he advances on “Vain”. He pulls him off of the floor to drag him back to the ring.

Lieberjosch: “Vain” was playing..

Covert Jay: OPOSSUM!! I knew that I’d remember!!

Liberjosch: Thank you, Jay.

Covert Jay: You’re welcome, Doc.

Lieberjosch: I really hate you, even when you’re accidentally useful.

Vinegar: “Vain” drives Hastings back first into the ring, then whirls around and drives him back first into the ringside barrier. He pulls Hastings up…

Covert Jay: Ow!!

Lieberjosch: Brilliant!

Vinegar: “Vain” dropped Hastings back first across the railing. Hastings falls to the floor, writhing in agony. “Vain” shakes his leg out again and pulls Hastings off of the mat. He rolls him into the ring and limps after him.

Lieberjosch: Now it’s a race against time. Which is going to fail first, “Vain” and his leg, or Hastings back?

Vinegar: We’re going to find out soon!

Lieberjosch: “Vain” is back in the ring, but his limp is slowing him down.

Vinegar: Hastings is still down on the mat clutching at his back. “Vain” advances on him and pulls him up. He leaps up for the “Curtain Call”, but his leg gives way and he collapses to the mat. Hastings staggers to his feet and falls back into the corner. Both men are wincing in pain.

Lieberjosch: They’ve beaten the hell out of each other tonight. I’m not sure that this match will settle anything in the long term.

Vinegar: I don’t either. Hastings pulls himself up and grabs “Vain”. He yanks him off of the mat and backs him into the corner.

Covert Jay: Is he going for “Inevitability”?

Lieberjosch: It appears so.

Vinegar: He is and it’s clearly a challenge for him due to his weakened back. He pulls both of them onto the turnbuckles. He gets “Vain” in position for his cross powerbomb and hoists him up.

Covert Jay: His back gave way!

Lieberjosch: He releases “Vain”, who grabs him around the head!

Vinegar: “Curtain Call”!!

Lieberjosch: That was a creative use of the “Curtain Call” as a counter!

Vinegar: Hastings crashes into “Vain”s knees and flips over onto his back. “Vain” struggles to his feet and pulls Hastings up. He underhooks his arms and drops to the mat.

Lieberjosch: “The Cherry Popper”!

Vinegar: “Vain” rolls Hastings over onto his back and collapses onto him for the pin!

Covert Jay: One!

Lieberjosch: Two!

Vinegar: Thre...NO!!!! Hastings kicks out at two point nine!

Lieberjosch: Unbelievable! “Vain” looks like he’d be infuriated by this if he had the energy to be!

Vinegar: Hastings just showed incredible fortitude.

Covert Jay: Amazing!

Vinegar: “Vain” stands up and sneers down into Hastings face, then steps out onto the apron. It looks like he’s going to go for “The Money Maker”.

Lieberjosch: Hastings is still down on the mat and has barely moved since kicking out. This is exactly the brief rest that “Vain” needs.

Vinegar: Hastings begins to stir on the mat. He crawls towards the ropes and begins to use them to pull himself up. He gets to the top rope, turns and stumbles out towards center ring. “Vain” takes to the air…

Lieberjosch: “MONEY MAKER!!!”

Vinegar: “Vain” landed his springboard flipping neckbreaker! Hastings crashes to the mat on the back of his head! “Vain” hooks his leg! Sam drops to the mat…

Lieberjosch: ONE!

Vinegar: TWO!!

Fans: THREE!!!

Vinegar: “Vain” Alan Wallace has done it! He’s beaten “The Lord of Pain” Donovan Hastings in this grudge match!

Lieberjosch: God, what a match! I hope that we get to see this again!

Vinegar: Here’s Mitchell Dennis with the announcement.

Dennis: Ladies and Gentlemen, your WINNER by PINFALL…. “VAIN” ALAN WALLLLLLACCCCCEEE!!!!!

Vain 7.20
Hastings 7.03

[Lord Hastings]

Vinegar: What a night it has been here in Indiana at Seven Deadly Sins!

Lieberjosch: We’ve already crowned one new champion here tonight, will we see a second in the main event?

“Gimme Your Applause” by Lady Gaga, Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera begins to play as lightbulbs flash all through the arena. Kenzi Grey and her 'Life Model Decoy' Lenore walk out together with confident smiles for the fans.  An explosion of pyro erupts as they both strike a pose for the cameras.  The pair head down the aisle slapping the outstretched hands of the fans.  The duo stand together at ringside, then one of the two climbs onto the ring apron and pauses again for the flash of the cameras, as she kneels there with a smirk.  She climbs the turnpost and gives the fans one more photo opportunity as she sits atop the turnbuckle, still blowing kisses and posing for the fans.  She hops down, finally entering the ring as she readies herself for her opponent while the other 'Kenzi' patrols the ringside area.

Dennis: The following contest is your main event of the evening set for one fall, and is for the WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP! Introducing first, the challenger, from Hollywood, California, KENNNZIII GREY-LACKKKKLAANNNNNN!!!!

Vinegar: Kenzi Grey earned this opportunity in large part due to being a part of the winning team of the Lord of Trios tournament.

Lieberjosch: Kenzi’s also one half of the reigning Cooperative Champions, she’s been learning a tremendous amount as the latest pupil of Lord Hastings.

Covert Jay: Do you mean achieving a lot in spite of him?

Lieberjosch: Donovan Hastings is the most decorated Entertainment Professional in history!

Covert Jay: How’d that work out for him a few minutes ago?

Dennis: And her opponent, currently residing in San Antonio, Texas, she is the reigning AND defending World Heavyweight Champion, ANNGEELLLICCAAA VAUGHHHHNNNNNNN!!!!

Vinegar: Seventy days and counting for Angelica Vaughn as the World Champion, but she faces a mighty challenge tonight in the form of her fellow #CoolKid.

Lieberjosch: Remember that Angie earned her shot at the World Title at Infinity by defeating Kenzi at Horizons, tonight they meet again for the title itself.

DING DING!!

Vinegar: Our main event underway, Vaughn and Grey circling the ring, each a bit cautious in the opening moments.

Lieberjosch: Tense encounter in the contract signing that closed Synergy last week, with harsh words spoken by Kenzi.

Vinegar: Grey pointing to the title as it sits on the timekeeper’s table, gesturing around her own waist.

Covert Jay: Kenzi getting in Angie’s face, as the champion clenches her fist.

Vinegar: Grey shoves her, and Vaughn has had enough as she retaliates with a shove of her own, and Kenzi Grey is knocked on her back!

Lieberjosch: Kenzi looks surprised, she tries to get back to her feet, but Angie attacks with right hands, fighting her back into the ropes, and Angie clotheslines her to the outside!

Vinegar: Vaughn heads out to the apron, leaps and connects with a flying double axe handle, and the World Champion is off to a hot start here in our main event!

Covert Jay: These fans are firmly behind Angie Vaughn, and she nods in acknowledgement of the cheers before turning her attention back to her challenger.

Vinegar: Vaughn pulling Grey back up, but Grey ducks her shoulder and runs Vaughn back into the barricade!

Lieberjosch: Kenzi stands upright, but Angie cracks her in the face with a backhand slap!

Vinegar: Grey again looks stunned, and as Vaughn advances she jerks back, falling to the ground, and she scoots away, sliding underneath the apron and beneath the ring.

Covert Jay: Angie pursues, reaching underneath the ring, and she pulls Kenzi back out by her legs!

Vinegar: Grey sent into the ring, Vaughn sliding in after her, and she connects with a bicycle kick! Vaughn starts to go for a cover, but quickly stands back up to her feet!

Lieberjosch: ONE HIT WONDER!!!

Vinegar: Vaughn turned right into the One Hit Wonder, from a second Kenzi Grey!

Lieberjosch: And now we see why, it was Kenzi that went under the ring, but Lenore that Angie pulled back out!

Vinegar: Grey with the cover!





ONE!!!





TWO!!!!!





Vinegar: Vaughn kicks out!

Lieberjosch: Angie sits up to her knees, and Kenzi is back on her feet and looks to have amused herself with whatever she is thinking.

Vinegar: Stiff kick to Vaughn’s chest! Now a second!

Covert Jay: It’s the Obvs Kicks!

Lieberjosch: It’s Kenzi’s improved version of the kicks!

Vinegar: Another kick by Grey, and she winds up for a big finish!

Covert Jay: Ducked under by Angie, she rolls to her feet and connects with a sick kick!

Vinegar: And now with Grey on her knees, it looks like we are about to see the originals! Kick to the chest!

Crowd: OBVS!!

Vinegar: Another kick!

Crowd: OBVS!!

Covert Jay: A third kick!

Crowd: OBVS!!

Vinegar: Vaughn winds up for a final kick, and she hits it! Vaughn hooks the leg!





ONE!!!





TWO!!!!!





Vinegar: Grey kicks out!

Lieberjosch: Angie sends Kenzi into the corner, follows in with a cannonball, but Kenzi slips out of the ring and Angie crashes into the bottom turnbuckle!

Vinegar: Grey grabs Vaughn’s legs from the outside, wraps them around the ringpost, putting her into a figure four!

Lieberjosch: HOLLYWOOD VINE!!!

Vinegar: Vaughn screams in agony, as Glenn Burke orders Grey to break the hold. He starts a count, and at four Grey releases!

Covert Jay: Kenzi has to be careful, she doesn’t want to get disqualified!

Vinegar: Vaughn crawling back towards the center of the ring as Grey rolls in, the challenger has a smile on her face!

Lieberjosch: THE WALK OF FAME!!!

Vinegar: Vaughn yanks her head back out of the way, pulls Grey into a schoolgirl pin!





ONE!!!





TWO!!!!!





Vinegar: Grey kicks out!

Lieberjosch: They both get right to their feet, only for Kenzi to lay Angie out with a clothesline.

Vinegar: Shotgun dropkick by Grey, and she has taken control of this match, as now she sets up and plants the champion with a Kickout DDT.

Covert Jay: Another cover!





ONE!!!





TWO!!!!!





Vinegar: Vaughn kicks out, life left in the champion.

Lieberjosch: Angie rolled onto her chest, but Kenzi shoots the half right back into another cover, hooking the legs.





ONE!!!


Covert Jay: She’s got the tights!


TWO!!!!!





Vinegar: Vaughn kicks out again!

Lieberjosch: Kenzi screams in frustration, as she gets to her feet and kicks Angie in the ribs!

Vinegar: Grey screaming at Vaughn that it’s her time, this is her moment!

Covert Jay: EW!!!!

Vinegar: Vaughn caught her by surprise with the mandible claw, rising to her feet, but Grey manages to knock the arm away, lifts Vaughn into a quick side suplex!

Lieberjosch: Kenzi falls into the ropes, takes a moment to steady herself, turns around and goes for the One Hit Wonder!

Vinegar: Sidestepped by Vaughn, who comes off the ropes herself!

Covert Jay: #VAUGHNEMOUS!!!

Vinegar: Vaughn hooks the leg!





ONE!!!





TWO!!!!!





THREE!!!!!!!





Dennis: Here is your winner, and STILL the World Heavyweight Champion….ANGELLLLICA VAAUUGHHHNNNNNN!!!!

Covert Jay: Angie did it!

Vinegar: She overcomes again, Angelica Vaughn retains the World Title here at Seven Deadly Sins!

Lieberjosch: Do you realize what this means!?!

Vinegar: I do, it means that Angelica Vaughn will face Roxy Cotton next month at the Massive Melee!

Lieberjosch: Seeing Angie face Kenzi was traumatic enough, what is that going to be like?

Vinegar: We’ll find out next month, and we’ll see you in two weeks on Synergy!

Covert Jay: Don’t forget to Chill, guest-starring Supreme Jersey Wrestling!

Lieberjosch: Jesus, they’re really doing that?

Vinegar: We’re still on the air.

Lieberjosch: I know.




Angelica Vaughn - 7.53

Kenzi Grey-Lacklan 7.38

[Lord Hastings]

Credits

GFX
Britt

Hide vs Holden
Chad

Cooperative Match
Steve

Chaos Championship
Brandon

WMcW vs Zane
Chad

Cross-Hemisphere Championship
Steve

Vain vs Hastings
Ad

Main Event
Steve

[Zane]

Thank you everyone for your hard and high quality work. You all busted your asses for this show and it shows in the scores. Enjoy your well deserved break!

Congratulations to Angie and Le Bord for retaining and Roxy for winning the Cross-Hemisphere Championship! Who's going to step up to unseat them?

See you all in a couple of weeks!