Sentinel 20/09/09 Results

[T-Robosaurus Rex]

Vinegar: Welcome GIW fans to another edition of Sentinel as we take another step on that long path to the Horizon.

Hanson: Why do you keep saying that?

Vinegar: I’m hoping it will catch on.

Hanson: Keep hoping.

Vinegar: We’ve got another packed show for you tonight include the GIW Tag Team Champions in action.

Hanson: Prescott and Savana are back!?

Vinegar: No, still the real ones. I think Prescott and Savana still haven’t recovered from those Superkicks two weeks ago. New GIW.com Champion Nathan Korpi will make his first title defence against Calypso Desmona.

Hanson: The Headliners doing what he does best, headlining. As he beats up Raenius so the masked freak will stop pretending to be a title contender.

Vinegar: As well as action from the Auteur and Moss Edwards. Now though it’s time for our opening contest.

Fire It Up starts to play but no-one seems to care. Dylan James makes his way out to the top of ramp.

Dennis: This is your GIW Sentinel opening contest and is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, from Detroit Michigan. Weighing in at 240lbs! Hardcore Dylan Jaaaaaames!

Vinegar: Dylan James made his return to GIW at Battleground, interfering in the GIW.com title match which in turn has led to this match-up here tonight.

Dylan James makes his way down the ramp, waving his arms as he goes and rolls into the ring. He climbs a turnbuckle to make the X sign. Before he can get down his music cuts off to be replaced by Storm Front.

Dennis: And introducing the opponent-oh shi-!

Vinegar: JK not wasting anytime. Dylan James’s interference may have cost JK the chance to be the GIW.com Champion two weeks ago and he hasn’t forgot it. He just stormed the ring and this one is underway.

Ding! Ding!

Vinegar: JK straight in with a spear and raining down punches from a grounded headlock position. He’s obviously pissed and he’s letting Dylan James know about it.

Hanson: Nick, do you know what we’re actually watching here?

Vinegar: A great opening contest? JK up to his feet and stomping James down. He’s trying to get away but JK stays on him and forces him into a corner. More boots and Burke has to break it up.

Hanson: Ha, good one, no. What we’re seeing is the first televised match-up between a 16 year old, 9 year veteran and a Vampire…apparently.

Vinegar: Dylan James is a Vampire?

Hanson: Apparently.

Vinegar: Huh? Well he’s managed to get himself back to his feet and JK pushes past the referee and hits him with a big clothesline in the corner. Followed up by a hip toss out to the centre of the ring. When did that happen then?

Hanson: I don’t know.

Vinegar: Was he a Vampire at Battleground?

Hanson: No idea.

Vinegar: Well whatever his apparent superpowers must be they’re not doing him a lot of good right here. JK springboards off the middle rope and hit’s a leg drop. Cover attempt.

1!

2!

Vinegar: Kick out by James. JK pulling him back to his feet. Setting him back up into the corner. Big knife edge chop.

Crowd: Woo?

Vinegar: That could have been more enthusiastic. JK with a second and an Irish Whip across the ring. JK charging in- No, James with a back elbow. JK comes back with another clothesline- ducked by Dylan James who puts him down to the mat with a scoop body slam.

Hanson: I don’t get whether it means he’s actually a full blown, Dracula, bat transforming, sleeps in a coffin kind of Vampire…apparently, or just an emo kind of guy who’s watched too much Twilight and has a bit of a blood fetish.

Vinegar: Probably best not to get to think about it too much. Dylan James pulls JK up this time. Irish whip and a dropkick to JK on the rebound. Cover by James.

1!

Vinegar: Another kick out. Dylan James frustrated and heading for the top rope. Could be too early for this.

Hanson: I mean, we could shove him outside and see what happens I suppose but I don’t want to get in trouble in case he bursts into flames.

Vinegar: Doubt it would be a big deal. Dylan James taking his time getting to the top and allowing JK to recover. He hit’s the ropes and James gets crotched up top. JK, drags him unceremoniously back to the mat. Fist drop to the forehead and a lateral press by JK.

1!

Vinegar: James kicks out again. JK pulls him back up. Snap suplex by the Aussie Rebel. JK this time heading to the top rope.

Hanson: I suppose we could always put him in front of a mirror. That’d work right?

Vinegar: Should do. JK coming off the top- Cane Toad Splash- No! Dylan James rolls away. JK adjusts in mid air and lands on his feet though. Comes back with a clothesline- ducked by James. Roll up!

1!

Vinegar: Tights! He’s got the tights!

2!

3!

Ding! Ding!

Dennis: Here is your winner, Dylan Jaaaaaames!

Vinegar: Dylan James beats a hasty retreat after that cheap victory and JK can’t believe it.

Hanson: I guess he can’t be a real Vampire or he’d have become a bat. JK could never catch him like that.

Vinegar: I have a feeling it’s not over between these two. Dylan James is long gone and JK is furious.

Hanson: Do we really have to linger on this one?

Vinegar: I guess not. You in your usual hurry to get to Travis Roberts?

Hanson: Yeah but Calypso taking the GIW.com title belt off that Viking wannabe will tide me over.

Vinegar: Lucky it’s up next then huh?

Hanson: Damn straight.

Vinegar: Don’t go anywhere. The GIW.com title is on the line next.

[T-Robosaurus Rex]

Donovan stands in front of the vending machine, staring at it.

Hastings: Hmm…how do the little people make these contraptions work, anyway?

Travis Roberts is walking by.

Hastings: T-Rob! Glad you stopped by. It seems we have a mutual problem. How about I scratch your back, you scratch mine?

T-Rob: Surely the vending machine isn’t that complicated, even for you Donny? Looking at Komosube he figured it out. Either way, why would ‘The Headliner’ want to help you; his opponent at Horizons?

Hastings: Now, that doesn’t make any sense. We’re set to have the greatest match in GIW history. We both need to be in tip-top shape so history sees this with no taint. We have a mutual problem.

T-Rob: ’Mutual problem? ’The Blessed One’ has no idea what you are talking about. Look Donny, ‘The Headliner’ is pleased you managed to gain a lucky victory at Battleground, but let’s not pretend you and I share the same reality, let alone problems. And don’t worry about your condition at Horizon’s, the story will be the same regardless, Travis Roberts second successive victory at the biggest show of them all.

Hastings: Well, whatever works. Now, you’re up against Raenius tonight, and whatever face he decides to wear. The old bag has got Burke doing the refereeing, that’s a problem. If Owen was doing it, we’d be golden. But we’ll deal. I got your back.

T-Rob: That’s a very generous offer Don, but it’s unlikely Travis will need such assistance tonight. Although, despite their ability to throw one hell of a party and look kinda clueless, those Covenant guys can be quite psychotic, so Travis Roberts may one day take you up on your proposal and throw you unto the lions.

Hastings: Don’t worry, I’ve got you covered.

Donovan slaps him on the arm, at the same time kicking back with his foot and kicking the vending machine, prompting a soda to fall out.

Hastings: Hey, look at that.

Donovan picks it up.

Hastings: Catch you later.

Donovan walks off and we return to the arena.

Hanson: Got anything to say before the match?

Vinegar: Well, this is Nate Korpi's first...

Hanson: Didn't think so, let's throw it to the only man who gets to call that sweet space between Hazel East's thighs home.

Mitchell: That was disturbing, but true. The following contest is for the GIW.Com Title! Introducing first, the challenger...

"Haunted" brings the slivering Calypso out onto the stage. Her sinister grin encourages cat calls and scattered boos, which she shrugs off as she struts down the ramp.

Mitchell: From Hartford Connecticut, this is....CALYPSOOOOO DEESMONA!

Vinegar: The Witch Woman of GIW earned this spot last week in a match against Chassie Fear.

The replay of last week's match plays as Vinegar narrates.

Vinegar: Chassie turned out to be her own worst enemy when she went for this diving attack to the outside of the ring.

The camera angle switches to get a more brutal view of the incident.

Vinegar: Calypso gave Chassie a shove into the announce table, and The Dark Rose collided head first.

The recap shows Chassie being wheeled out of the arena by EMTs.

Hanson: On the one hand, Desmona did whatever she needed to do to win the number one contendership. On the other, you never want to see anyone leave the ring on their back instead of their feet.

Vinegar: And the crowd tonight is letting Calypso know that they hold her to blame for that accident.

Hanson: Don't forget that she's also helped chase William Everknight out of the company, apparently. This woman is a real Career Killer.

Andrew Clash: Hey, that's my job!

Hanson: Where the hell did you come from?

Andrew Clash: I sleep under the ring.

Hanson: How's your penis?

Andrew Clash: I don't like to talk about it.

"All Nightmare Long" starts its long introduction, and by the time Nathan Korpi steps out off the entryway, anticipation has built to a fever pitch. The Nordic Horror is at first taken aback by the huge pop coming his direction, but he eventually smiles and thrusts a fist into the air, receiving a second pop. He plays to the crowd the entire way down, pausing to let people take pictures of him with the title belt.

Mitchell: And her opponent, from two cities at the same time, weighing in at 283 pounds, he is the GIW.Com Champion, NATHAAAAN KOOORPI!

Vinegar: Korpi is receiving the hero's welcome tonight, more than likely in response to the news that he, Jet Somers, and KvK were successful in their efforts to save Jezebel Saint from Mickey Dragon.

Hanson: I know! Although I'm saving my energy for when we get to see that corseted rack in the arena again.

Vinegar: We don't know the extent of the injuries that Jezebel may have received while in captivity, under the "care" of Mickey Dragon, but we of course wish her a speedy recovery.

Hanson: There's the bell, and there's Calypso.

Vinegar: Nate tried to charge at The Witch Woman, but she was quick to roll to the floor.

Hanson: What, were you expecting her to stand toe to toe with a frickin' Viking? He wants to grape and pillage her, Nick.

Vinegar: Calypso about to slide back into the ring, she thinks the better of it as Korpi steps towards her again. Calypso yelling at Senior Official Glenn Burke to keep Nate away from the ropes.

Hanson: Well, those are the rules, and if he's not going to follow the rules, he doesn't deserve to be GIW.Com Champion.

Vinegar: Didn't she hold that very belt hostage after stealing it from William Everknight and helping Donovan Hastings cheat his way to victory?

Hanson:...that was completely different.

Vinegar: Korpi laughs but steps back. The Witch Woman back into the ring. Nathan stepping forward...

Hanson: And she hits the floor again. This is all strategy, I should point out.

Vinegar: Korpi tired of her strategy, he's out on the floor now to give chase.

Hanson: He's chasing her back into the ring, ha, see that? Strategy!

Vinegar: A baseball slide to the face, Korpi rubs his chin and hops back into the ring. The Nordic Horror going for a clothesline, it's easily ducked. Low dropkick followed by a dropkick to the face.

Hanson: The big man is staggered a bit, but shakes it off and comes in with a big boot.

Vinegar: Dodged again by the Witch Woman, and this time she comes rebounding off the rope to hit another dropkick.

Hanson: More strategy. A dropkick is one of the few attacks that can utilize a person's full body mass.

Vinegar: Korpi steps forward again, Calypso ducks. But it was a feint! Korpi easily reaches down and grabs hold of Desmona.

Hanson: Crash Course in Brain Surgery! Followed by a foot on the chest, 1 2 3!

Mitchell: Here is your winner, and still champion, NATHAAAAAN KOOOORPI!

Vinegar: A quick and impressive victory for The Nordic Horror, you have to admit that use of a fake charge showed another step forward for this rookie, who was already dangerous enough with only strength. As he gains more in-ring skills, it should only prove even more difficult to get that belt off of him.

Hanson: Oh, and look at that hobo crawling into the ring to yell at Desmona about being a killer.

Andrew Clash: I'm the only one who gets to end careers! That's my style, and it NEVER! CLASHES!

Vinegar: Kiss By Chaos! Calypso simply kicks Clash in the gut and drills him with that leaping DDT.

Hanson: Awww, looks like it's back to sleeping under the ring and wallowing as an obscure inside joke for Mr Clash.

[T-Robosaurus Rex]

Vinegar: it’s time to see our GIW.com Champion’s mentor and trainer in action now, just moments after his student retained his title. It’s Klaus’ first match in quite a while, and he’s tagging with Jet Somers who is looking to make a name for himself in GIW.

Hanson: He reminds me of the original Kurt Angle...

Vinegar: original? That suggests he’s been copied and cloned...

Hanson: And what’s your point?

Vinegar: Well, quite frankly, it’s ridiculous.

Hanson: yet Dylan James is apparently a Vampire?

Vinegar: I’m sure we covered this earlier; remember the comment about bat’s after his match, in reference to his cowardice?

Hanson: Sure, but it’s so absurd I thought it deemed mentioning once more...

Vinegar: I’m not too sure how much experience these guys have with one another as partners, but they’ve certainly got their work cut out against the GIW Tag Team Champions. Alex Kiseragi and Brandon brown have impressed since defeating Raenius and Dirge at Toxic Intent. Teh fans just love them...

Hanson: Because they are morons.

Vinegar: Who? The fans, or The Champions?

Hanson: Take your pick...and if we’re gonna be really honest, it wasn’t hard to look good against the inebriates they faced last month?

Vinegar: Was that a negative comment against Declan Prescott...

Hanson: It wasn’t Prescott, it was a massive conspiracy on the part of Obama to defile the name of the great man....

“All Nightmare Long”

Dennis: The next match is scheduled for one fall, and is a tag team match up. Introducing first, from Orlando, Florida....KAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY VEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE KAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!

The intro to Metallica’s glorious “All Nightmare Long” builds slowly as a requisite highlight video plays on whatever ridiculously goddamn convoluted video screen setup this fed uses. The build continues, slow-tempo low-end noodling eventually being replaced by guitar and drums at a frantic pace that belies the fact that 3/4 of this band has been at this for the better part of thirty years.

KvK emerges from behind the curtain, and stands as still as a statue on the ramp. He stands looking around at the crowd for several moments, puffing away on what appears to be a rather cheap cigar, a slight sneer on his face. The song continues, melting into a catchy groove that goes on for another half minute or so.

Vinegar: I have to admit I’ve been looking forward to seeing KvK return to action, he has a style that is undeniably unique to himself...

Hanson: Has he, I rarely tend to notice....but he did rescue Jez, so he has become one of my favourite stars in GIW, behind Blessed Immortality obviously.

Vinegar: Obviously.

His rather cocky surveillance of the crowd apparently over, KvK begins to make his way slowly down the entrance ramp towards the ring. He dusts errant cigar ash from the shoulder of his Divine Heresy T-Shirt.

Hanson: Nice T-Shirt...

Vinegar: I just hope ‘The Nailer’ feels the same way?

Hanson: Why would he wear it if not?

Vinegar: Because of the invisible hand that guides us all...

Hanson: Oooook.

KvK climbs onto the ring apron, rolling underneath the bottom rope and into the ring. He scoots over to the corner, propping his back up against the bottom turnbuckle pad as he takes a few more puffs on his cigar before using the ropes to pull himself to his feet. With a few paltry stretches of preparation for the upcoming battle, he drops his still-lit cigar down the open top of the ring post and strips off his t-shirt. He balls it up and does a rugby-style kick, sending it into the crowd to be fought over. The song fades out as everyone prepares themselves for the chaos to come.

“"In Time" by Mark Collie vs. "Everybody Down" by Nonpoint”

Dennis: And his partner, from Deep Creek, Mississippi JEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMEEEEEEEEEEEEERSS!!!!

The arena blacks out all lights except the ones over the entrance ramp, ring, and the first five rows or so. As Mark Collie begins his haunting ballad "In Time," the image of a dimly lit hallway which could be in any arena appears on the screen. A silhouette resembling Jet Somers appears in the distance of the hallway, walking toward the screen. As the first verse plays out, he marches resolutely to full size on the screen, and as the last line is spoken, 'In time, your time will be no more...,' the silhouette has filled the dark hall, and the vertical control suddenly flips out as Nonpoint's "Everybody Down" hits hard and Jet runs out from behind the curtain. He runs to the edge of the stage and pumps his fist in the air a few times.

Vinegar: We haven’t seen a great deal of Jet....

Hanson: but he also saved Jez, and brought the possibility of seeing her again closer, so in my mind he’s awesome...

At 'And when I stomp you' Jet sprints down the ramp, slapping hands in the crowd as he goes, running to leap onto the apron of the ring. He grabs the rope with one hand and pumps the other fist in the air on each 'Everybody Down!' chant of the chorus. Jet finally steps in, bouncing on the balls of his feet and throwing shadow punches to warm up.

Vinegar: these two gusy have very different personalities, it’s certainly going to be interesting how they work together in the ring.

Hanson: Or, given who this match is being overseen by, it may just suck.

Vinegar: OOooooook...

“Kickstart My Heart”

Dennis: And their opponents, The GIW Tag team Champions, introducing first, from Albion Indiana....BRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANDOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON BROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWN!!!

Vinegar: As ever the crowd go wild for GIW’s most resilient athlete as he walks with no fuss down tot the ringside, slapping the hands of his fans on the way. Tag team Titlte strapped round his waist...

Hanson; Why did you feel the need to verbally describe Brandon’s entrance, but not Jet or KvK’s? And you suggest I am biased towards Blessed Immortality.

Vinegar: I suggest no such thing, you are!.

Hanson: I merely state things as they are, and the truth is those two guys are GIW’s hottest stars...

“Teahouse”

Dennis: And his partner, from San Francisco, California....ALLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEXXX KIIIIIIIIIIIIISEEEEEEEERAAAAAAAAAAAAAGIIIIIIIIIII!!!

Alex walks out to the top of the ramp where he throws two right roundhouse kicks, each accompanied by a small pyro, followed by a split legged backflip with a larger pyro.

Hanson: Flippedy Flip Flip, I could make a gay joke now, but really I’m not in the mood...

Vinegar: You feeling alright.

Hanson: It’s late and I’ve been working all day...

Vinegar: Huh?

Hanson: Wha?

Vinegar: Never mind.

Alex walks down to the ring, slapping a few outstretched hands as he passes. As he approaches the ring he takes a few quick steps and jumps through the first and second ropes into a roll and up to his feet. He climbs a random turnbuckle and poses for a second before backflipping off/

Hanson: Why does it feel like Brandon and Alex got to the ring a lot quicker than Jet and KvK?

Vinegar: I think the answer to that probably need’s advanced understanding of metaphysics...

Hanson: really?

Vinegar: I don’t know? What kind of a question was that? Should I time each competitor as they walk to the ring...

Hanson: Couldn’t hurt really?

Vinegar: I’ll bear that in mind, but are finally ready to start this one off, and it looks like Alex and Jet are gonna go up against one another first...

Hanson: That’s more wholesome behaviour in one ring than even the sweetest grandmother can handle, if you try and forget the unspeakable acts A-Kis gets up to with men in parks...

Vinegar: I’m pretty sure he could sue you for that comment, it’s pretty much libellous...

Hanson: Unless it’s true, we’ll just have to wait and see if I get a court order.

Vinegar: As if aware of how inane your conversation is becoming Alex and Jet collide and Jet wins out grasping Alex in a front headlock, but A-Kis manages to lift him up for a...

Hanson: No Somers twists and slides down the back of A-Kis and gets him round the waste...GERMAN SUPLEX...

Vinegar: But A-Kis flips a full 360 and lands on his feet, and as Somers turns round aims a high kick at him....

Hanson: But jet Somers falls to the floor to avoid it, and then aims a leg sweep at ‘The Dragon’...

Vinegar: Who manages to leap over it, and now both men back on their feet in the rest position, and a few of the pure fans in attendance show their appreciation with a round of applause...

Hanson: Appreciation for what, neither man hit the other, it’s like dancing!

Vinegar: Happy now? A-Kis dodges another attack from jet Somers and manages to take him to the floor with an arm bar....

Hanson: Wooo! An armbar! I take it all back, we should be appreciative this is the height of entertainment. Just so you know viewers, I am rolling my eyes...

Vinegar: Ad I am ignoring Dan. Somers rolls, and breaks the hold by clamping his feet around A-Kis’ head in a leg scissors...

Hanson: Hah! I’m not the only one getting bored, KbvK seems to have stopped paying attention to the match and is has dropped off the apron, he’s also rolling his eyes...

Vinegar: What is he doing?

Hanson: I think...if those gestures he’s making to his mouth with his hand are what I think they are...yes, yes...he’s asking for a cigarette...

Vinegar: He’s bumming a smoke!?!?

Hanson: And he’s got one, what a privilege for that young lady, a GIW Superstar, one of the heroes involved in the Horrifying rescue of Miss Jezebel Saint, has taken one of her cigarettes. And a light! What a night for her...

Vinegar: And as KvK climbs back onto the apron, with the cigarette in his lips, flouting the no smoking laws as so many of the GIW Athletes’ have, jet has got into a more commanding position, and has A-Kis in a front headlock sleeper style hold, and is exerting pressure as Brandon brown stomps on the canvas, encouraging these fans to make some noise...

Hanson: I’m bored, KvK is bored....the fans are bored.

Vinegar: The fans start to clap and stomp and chant A-Kis’ name, despite Dan’s summing up of the situation, but it’s not this that causes Alex to break the hold. Instead Jet’s head rises and he begins to sniff the air, and he obviously smells the smoke from KvK’s cigarette, and you can bet your bottom dollar Jet Somers knows all about the smoking restrictions in place in the state...

Hanson: He probably reads that sort of stuff at night, but he did save Jez so who am I to judge....

Vinegar: Somers breaks the hold and slowly scans the crowd, looking for the culprit, until he sees his own partner, leaning nonchalantly against the turnbuckle inhaling deeply on what Jet Somers probably refers to as a Cancer Stick...and the look on his face is a mix between disappointment and a man who knows he should have known better than to expect any less, and he walks ovr shaking his head, and speaking inaudibly to KvK before plucking the cigarette from his partners mouth, wetting his own fingers and then extinguishing the tobacco filled tube with his thumb and index finger, before tossing it over the ropes...

Hanson: ’The Nailer’ didn’t like that and he calls him a Mother...well you know the rest, and flips him the bird...

Vinegar: Very nice of him....ROLL UP FROM A-KIS

1...

2...

Vinegar: It was too close to KvK who climbs through the ropes, and despite his partner denying him of his nicotine fix, he saves Somers the embarrassment of a pin...as A-Kis goes to tag out Brandon, KvK motions to Jet to keep his head in the game before climbing back onto the canvas...

Hanson: Jet turns, and manages to duck what would have been a brutal clothesline from Brandon, who continues steaming and takes out KvK instead, who flies off the apron and into the guard rail...

Vinegar: And now Brandon turns into a Belly to Belly suplex from Jet Somers...who quickly goes for the cover....

1...

2...

Hanson: No, Brandon kicks out, but Somers is on an offensive roll now, picking Brandon up and hitting a vertical suplex...then climbs on top...Ground-and-pound!

Vinegar: A-Kis gets in quickly and plants a kick to the back of Jet Somers’ head to put an end to the vicious beating his partner was taking, before Hazel East shoves him back into his corner...

Hanson: IS that Komosube...and Dredd on the ramp? What’re they doing here...

Vinegar: I have no clue...but as they stride down to the ring, Jet crouches as Brandon gets to his feet...Somers jumps onto the second rope...JETSTREAMER!!!

Hanson: Huh?

Vinegar: Moments after the impact from Jet, Dredd and Komo climb into the ring, and execute an enormous double clothesline on the stunned Crazy Opie, who has no idea what they are doing here...

Hanson: Does anybody?

DING DING DING!

Dennis: Here are your winners, via disqualification....KAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY VEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE KAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY AND JEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMEEEEEEERS!!

Vinegar: Komosube has turned and is glaring towards Alex Kiseragi on the other side of the ring, and Dredd drags Brandon to his feet, and holds him in the corner, as Komosube motions at A-Kis to get in the ring, and then motions to his waist....I think he’s demanding a shot at the Tag Titles...

Hanson: KvK figures they’ve got the win, and it’s time to get the hell out of dodge, as this is nothing to do with them, but he’s having to drag Jet Somers away, who seems less than pleased that he has been awarded such a dubious victory....he may be a hero, but damn he’s dumb.


Vinegar: He has morals, something I wouldn’t expect you to understand. A-Kis has got in the rign now, and seems to eb saying Komosube has to prove he’s worth a shot, last month the opponents weren’t up to calibre, and he’s not willing to take that risk again this time round, he wants a credible title reign...

Hanson: uh oh! I don’t think the Japanese Powerhouse likes that....and he charges his huge frame towards ‘The Dragon’...

Vinegar: DROP TOE HOLD. Komosube is guillotined on the middle rope...and Brandon sends Dredd stumbling with a kick to the gut...

Hanson: Komo is up again...he moves on A-Kis...

Vinegar: As Dredd moves on Brandon...

Hanson: DRAGON TAIL!!!

Vinegar: SUPERKICK!

Hanson: Komo tumbles out of the ring...

Vinegar: As does ‘The Monster’ Dredd, they may be a formidable looking pairing, but it’s the GIW Tag Team Champions that have come out on top here today, and A-Kis motions for their belts, and they both raise them above their heads as Komosube and Dredd regroup on the outside, and walk backwards up the ramp, Komo screaming in Japanese as Dredd just glares at the Tag Champions...

Hanson: Well, that was unexpected...

Vinegar: That’s GIW for you, stay tuned, Moss Edwards and the Crimson Ghost are up next....

[T-Robosaurus Rex]

We return to the arena from the commercial breaks and a slightly bearded Moss Edwards is already standing in the ring.

Hanson: Damn it, first he tries to embarrass our beloved champion with allegations of porn directing and whatnot, now he has the gall, the nerve, to start growing hair so I can't call him baldie anymore?

Moss: Greetings target demographic, I regret to say that there will be no HeadShots this evening. Not because I have any less of a desire to bring to you the absolute best in sports entertainment, but simply because there's really nobody worth talking to this week. It would be a waste of my time, and of yours.

Hanson: Then why can’t we just get on with the match?

Moss: But as a proponent of the power of film, I felt that I needed to share something with you. Surely, you have all heard about poor Tate Levene, who was shot by the Unified Champion, Travis Roberts,and only survived through luck, and the fact that he is coated in a protective layer of blubber. Now there is the very real possibility that he may be bringing legal action against the champion, and, as a documentarian at heart, I felt compelled to seek out footage of the incident in question so that we could all see who was really at fault. And with that in mind, I'd like to present the following, which I lovingly titled, Exhibit A. Enjoy.




(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lCiLV94XlFc)

Hanson: Wow, the camera really shaved a lot of pounds off the Chubby Funster.

Vinegar:..............................you're an idiot.

Dennis: This Next match is scheduled for One Fall, already in the ring, from Hollywood, California....MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSSS EDWAAAAAAAAAAAAAARDS!!!

Vinegar: Moss raises his hand as he warms up in the ring, waiting for this week’s challenge, Moss Edwards has made it clear he wants a true fight.

Hanson: ‘The Auteur’ doesn’t really want a challenge, or else he’ll lose again like he did to The Blessed One a few weeks ago.

Vinegar: He came so very close, maybe he just wants to stay on top of his game, make sure next time he gets that shot he doesn’t fall agonizingly short.

The lights black out, then strobe with a red tint at roughly 4 beats per second. Then the chorus to Crimson Ghost kicks in-NEVER GONNA CATCH ME NEVER GONNA CATCH ME NEVER GONNA CATCH ME I'M THE CRIMSON GHOOOST!!!
Dennis: And his opponent, THE CRIIIIIIIIIIIMSSSSOOOOOOOON GHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOST!

Vinegar: it’s been some time since we saw The Ghost in the ring here in GIW, and the fans are probably expecting a great match, but possibly some theatrics from two well known pranksters.

Hanson: You don’t think Moss has had enough of practical jokes after they distracted him and cost him the Unified Global Championship?

Crimson Ghost runs out, running down the ramp and completely around the ring, highfiving everyone on the way.

Vinegar: And Ghost is in the ring rather rapidly, and Owen Peterson calls for the bell almost immediately...

Hanson: and Ghiost barely pauses and straight away leaps straddling Moss’ shoulders, and flips backwards, a Hurricanrana pin...

1...

Vinegar: Moss breaks the count easily, bu Ghost back on his feet, runs the ropes...

Hanson: But The Auteur catches him, and slams him to the ground with a sidewalk slam. He grabs Ghost by the mask and gets him to his feet before whipping him into the turnbuckle...

Vinegar: And follows him in, but Ghost lifts his leg....

Hanson: But Moss, with cat like reflexes, ducks under, grabs CG’s other leg and executes a makeshift slam leaving Ghost hanging across the ropes....

Vinegar: Moss runs to the other turnbuckle...grabs a small handheld camcorder, flips open the view...climbs up the turnbuckle, whilst filming his P.O.V...RUNS THE ENTIRE LENGTH...THUMBS DOWN!!!

Hanson: Well...Wow...

Vinegar: The fans certainly enjoyed that, and you can hear them sound their appreciation for Moss, who happily moves his camera’s from the fallen Crimson Ghost to the view of hundreds of fans on their feet. He then calmly places the camcorder away into the corner of the ring before turning...

Hanson: And Ghost kips up...

Vinegar: Straight into a big boot from Moss to the midsection, bending Crimson Ghost double...

Hanson: He hoists him onto his shoulders...

Vinegar: Runs at the turnbuckle...BOX OFFICE POISON!

1...

2...

3!!!

Hanson: Here is your winner, via pinfall, MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSS EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDDDWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARDS!

Vinegar: A dominant victory for Moss Edwards against a Crimson ghost who is obviously suffering some ring rust at the moment, he was hardly a shadow of his former glories there...

Hanson: Well, Moss even impressed me here tonight...but despite his best efforts, he is still a baldie....

Vinegar: The main event is next!

[T-Robosaurus Rex]

Vinegar: Another night of intense GIW action is almost at an end.

Hanson: But as ever the best has been saved for last.

Vinegar: For once I agree that that may very well be so. Travis Roberts about to go up against the leader of the Covenant Raenius.

Hanson: I don’t really get why Raenius is after him, do you?

Vinegar: I guess it’s guilt by association with Donovan Hastings, the man who cost him the win at Battleground. That and the fact that he’s the Champion.

Hanson: I guess that kind of makes sense. It’s not particularly smart though.

Vinegar: I’m sure Raenius would disagree with you.

Hanson: I think that says more about him than me.

Vinegar: Well, none of that changes the fact that The Resident Evil certainly put the fear into both Donovan Hastings and Travis Roberts last week and it’s brought us to this match up here tonight.

Hanson: Fear my arse.

Vinegar: Uh…

Hanson: That didn’t come out right.

Vinegar: I should hope not.

Lamb of God's "Redneck" explodes into existence over the p.a. and then destroys life as a macabre, dark purple light fills the arena with a sinister and misty disdain as our Resident Evil, Raenius, walks out slowly, proudly wearing his uCw Kings of Hardcore t-shirt, clearly showing it's print saying 'We Bleed For You' for the world to see.

Dennis: The following contest is scheduled for one fall and is your Sentinel Main Event! Introducing first, from Northern Ireland. Weighing in at 252lbs! The Resident Evil, Raeniuuuuus!!!

He stalks bestially down the isle emanating hatred before he jumps up onto the apron, knee-first, and pulls himself upright using the ropes. He stands, looking out at the crowd for a few seconds before entering the ring.

Bummer starts to play and Travis Roberts walks out to the top of the ramp. He holds the Unified Global title over his head nonchalantly and starts to walk towards the ring.

Dennis: And his opponent! From Phoenix, Arizona! Weighing in at 220lbs! He is the GIW Unified Global Champion, the Blessed One, Travis Robeeeerts!!!

Travis gets down to the ring and climbs up the ring steps and in through the middle and top rope. He poses on the turnbuckle with the belt briefly then steps down. He gives the belt to Burke and removes his jacket and aviators.

Vinegar: If Raenius can pick up a victory here it’s got to challenge this impression Donovan Hastings has that Travis Roberts won’t be defending the title until Horizons.

Hanson: If the Lord Chief and the Blessed One say that’s how it’s going to be then that’s how it’s going to be.

Ding! Ding!

Hanson: Besides, what are the chances of that happening.

Vinegar: At this point I call it dead even. Raenius is a top competitor. There’s every chance he could pull off a win here.

Hanson: Has the trail of broken challengers the Blessed One leaves behind him not taught you anything. No-one can beat Travis in a fair fight and Raenius isn’t going to change that.

Vinegar: Well we’ll see how much truth there is to that very soon I imagine. These two quick to lock it up in the centre of the ring and Raenius forces them back into the corner. Burke stepping in to try to force a clean break. Raenius complies-

Hanson: Complies my arse. Raenius with a cheap closed fist shot, just sucker punched The Headliner.

Vinegar: Burke telling him to open the hand up but the damage is done. Travis is shaken in the corner and Raenius is back to follow up with some right forearms to that jaw. Raenius drags him out and knocks him down with a big clubbing blow to the back, followed up with the brutal stomps.

Hanson: Get control of this thing Burke. What’re you doing?

Vinegar: He’s letting them fight like a good referee does. Travis scrambles away and out to the floor. Raenius is quick to follow him out.

Hanson: Behind you Blessed One!

Vinegar: Raenius with a big clothesline from the back knocks Travis off his feet.

Hanson: I hear that’s Raenius’s favourite way of doing things. From the back. Wink, wink.

Vinegar: We’re already on gay jokes. That doesn’t bode well for the latter stages of this match. The Resident Evil props Travis up against the barriers and sticks that boot right across with wind pipe. It’s all Raenius in the opening stages of this one and Burke applies the count to him. He breaks at 4.

Hanson: Disqualify him anyway. He’ll inevitably do something illegal. May as well get it over with.

Vinegar: Raenius rolls up into the ring and out, resetting the count as Travis gets slowly back to his feet.

Hanson: Boom!

Vinegar: Big right hand by Travis as Raenius gets back to him, rocks the Resident Evil on his feet. Travis comes back with a clothesline. No, ducked by Raenius who grabs the arm and , oh, just slams it against the ring post.

Hanson: Get it back in the ring ya masked freak.

Vinegar: He’s looking this way.

Hanson: …

Vinegar: Get out from under the table.

Hanson: I dropped my glasses. I can’t commentate without them.

Vinegar: You don’t wear glasses. Although that would explain some things. Raenius rolls Travis into the ring. Headliner quickly to his feet and meets The Resident Evil on his back. Right hand from Travis. Right hand from Raenius. Boot to the gut from Travis.

Hanson: Oh here they are.

Vinegar: There’s nothing there.

Hanson: Shh, they can’t see us.

Vinegar: Travis with an Irish Whip. Big boot on the rebound! Here’s a cover.

1!

Vinegar: Just a one count and barely even that. Travis with some brutal stomps to the head, trying to keep Raenius dazed and it seems to be working for now. Travis pulling Raenius to his feet by the hair. Scoop slam in the middle of the ring and Travis off the ropes. Drops an elbow across the sternum.

Hanson: He should have done it in slow motion. Raenius would never have kicked out.

Vinegar: What?

Hanson: Worked for the Rock, somehow.

Vinegar: Who?

Hanson: Some little guy who was around a few years ago. I dunno.

Vinegar: Obscure trivia aside, Travis has taken back the momentum here. Taking a little too long show boating though and Raenius is starting to get back to his feet.

Hanson: Travis isn’t stupid. He’s right back onto him.

Vinegar: Travis with a side belly to belly suplex, puts Raenius back down and goes for the cover again.

1!

Vinegar: Still only a one count and I’d say he looks slightly frustrated. Travis pulling Raenius back up by the hair again. Irish whip and a lariat on the rebound. No! Raenius ducks under it, hit’s the ropes again and comes back with a shoulder block. That 32lbs weight advantage coming in to play there as he knocks Travis to the ground.

Hanson: And probably fractured his shoulder in the process.

Vinegar: He seems ok to me. Raenius off the ropes. Falling head butt! That could have bust Travis wide open.

Hanson: But it didn’t! Travis has skin as hard as diamonds.

Vinegar: Previous brutal encounters involving the Headliner would suggest otherwise. Raenius gets him back up to his feet and plants him with a sidewalk slam. Raenius with the cover this time.

1!

2!

Vinegar: No, kick out by the Headliner. Raenius in control now though. That first slam looks like it took the wind out of him and Raenius pulls him back up, onto his shoulder, Death Valley Driver! Another cover.

1!

2!

Vinegar: Only a two count but it was damn close right there.

Hanson: Travis is just building up the drama.

Vinegar: You know you really shouldn’t be allowed to call Travis Roberts matches. You’re too biased and by now you’re just repeating yourself. Can’t you think of anything original to say?

Hanson: Apparently not.

Vinegar: Hard Irish Whip by Raenius puts Travis into the corner. Lining something up. Raenius with a Big Avalanche!

Hanson: Travis avoids it!

Vinegar: Avoids it? He pulls Glenn Burke right into the way. The poor man is on dream street.

Hanson: Twice in three weeks. It’s not good to be Glenn Burke these days.

Vinegar: Raenius grabs the Headliner. Rippersnapper!!! He just planted him. Here’s the pin.

…

…

…

…

Hanson: Well what did he think was going to happen? He just knocked the ref out.

Vinegar: I Resident Evil clearly with the match won right there but there’s no referee to make the count.

Hanson: It’s ok, here comes Owen Peterson.

Vinegar: Oh dear. Peterson’s in the ring and Raenius goes for the cover again.

1!







2!






Hanson: Kick out! Travis kicks out!

Vinegar: At something around a 12 count.

Hanson: Can’t blame a guy for resting while he gets the chance.

Vinegar: Looks like Peterson’s not the only one taking an extra interest in this match,

Hanson: Lord Chief!

Vinegar: Raenius seems well aware of what’s going on here. He’s telling Hastings to get away from ringside. Low blow! Travis with a low blow to the Resident Evil. That’s grounds for a disqualification right there.

Hanson: Peterson was tying his shoe. He didn’t see it.

Vinegar: From where I’m sitting it looks a lot like he’s wearing slip-ons. Hastings has the Unified Title belt and slides it in to Travis. Belt shot to the recovering Raenius. Right in front of the referee.

Hanson: Someone hit him in the back of the head with a spit ball. He turned and missed it.

Vinegar: It looks like he just turned around. Travis slides the belt away and here’s the cover. Peterson turns back in time to catch it.

1!
2!
3!

Ding! Ding!

Dennis: Here is your winner! Traviiiiiis Robeeeeerts!!!

Vinegar: And the fast count to top it all off. Another week Raenius gets screwed. Here comes Hastings to add injury to insult. Travis and Hastings putting the post match beat down to the Resident Evil.

Hanson: This is what you get for thinking you can go against Blessed Immortality.

Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding!

Vinegar: Vicious closed hand shots down on the mat from Donovan Hastings and Owen Peterson not even pretending to break this up.

Hanson: Would you get in the middle of this.

Vinegar: Raenius rolls from the ring, and swiftly grabs a chair, and slides back in, despite that brutal beating, and Hastings, Roberts and Peterson make a hasty retreat

Hanson: They made their point. There’s no need to get sweaty.

Travis and Hastings make their way back up the ramp, not talking to one another and with their backs to Raenius, who leans on the ropes in the ring, holding the chair and looking towards them.

Vinegar: Another week over and how lot more bad blood flowing. This doesn’t bode well for Distant Whispers.

Hanson: Doesn’t bode well? This is great! DW may actually be more then something to fill space.

Vinegar: No GIW Pay Per View is a space filler.

Hanson: You really believe that?

Vinegar: I really do.

Hanson: You’re such a mark.

Vinegar: And proud of it. That’s why I’ll be here same time, same place, next week for another round of great GIW action. I’ll see you there.

[T-Robosaurus Rex]

Credits

Opener and DJ vs JK
A-Kis

Donny & T-Rob

Donny & T-Rob

GIW.com Match
Moss

Tag Match
T-Rob

The Shooting of Tate video
Moss

Moss vs Ghost
T-Rob

Main Event
A-Kis

Editor
T-Rob

(Apologies to the guys I wrote matches for this week, a very thoughtful girl moved across the country for University this weekend and neglected to inform us at work, and despite having a 6 day week next week no-one else would cover so ended up working 10am-4pm and then 6pm-10:30pm. Hope they weren’t too bad though.)

[Moss Works Jericho's Schedule]

Interesting night, a very breezy evening. It was almost old-school, just some decisive matches that slowly moved stories forward. The only "big" moment was the Dredd-Sube team up, here's hoping they can put out the promos both are capable of and be the formidable alliance they should be. This is obviously a busy time for everybody, so I think cheers all around to everyone who finds the time to promo, to feedback, and to write results.

[Dylan James]

Damn, pretty good show considering how busy everyone is right now. Congrats to the winners, and lets keep going strong to Distant Whispers.

[Jet Somers]

Hey, a nice quick show isn't a bad idea once in a while.

LOVED the cigarette bit, and the ending to the tag match will be something good to play off.

[>V<]

Excellent pick for the neglected t-shirt gimmick. I'm such a slacker.

[Alex Kiseragi]

Yeah no worries about the tag match T-Rob, all bias aside I'd say it was my favourite match of the night.

Moss's would have been more enjoyable if I was ever able to memorise his signatures. I'll get to it one day.

All in all a brief but very solid show that did a good job moving forward storylines. You can't ask for much more than that.

['The Cyclone' JK]

gotta agree, this was very vintage GIW. and it was a nice break from the usual huge shows with loads of promos. the Tag match was awesome! liked the opening match and the GIW.com title match as well, great job A-Kis + Moss.

congrats to all the winners as well.