Post by T-Robosaurus Rex on Sept 27, 2009 18:59:09 GMT -5
Vinegar: Welcome to Sentinel. The card tonight looks like it should be a good old time.
Hanson: If anyone turns up.
Vinegar: now what makes you say that?
Hanson: Just a feeling. But at least there is Blessed Immortality at the end of the tunnel...
Vinegar: In a Tag Team Title match no less, but we’ve also got three other great matches ahead...
Hanson: Look do you think they really merit talking about, couldn’t we just cut to some backstage segment...
Vinegar: Funnily enough...
Backstage, Raenius sits in his dressing room running his fingers through his hair as he swigs from a bottle of Jim Beam Black. Until his manageress, Nyx, disturbs his reverie as she sticks her head through the door.
Nyx: Raenius, you, uh… you’ve got a visitor.
Raenius: And who the fuck might want an audience with me, hmm?
Voice: Me…
He nearly chokes on his whiskey when he hears the voice, growling in vehemence as the woman walks in past Nyx, pushing her aside ignorantly. As she walks up to the Resident Evil, her dress, dangerously décolleté, exposing most of her shoulders, plunges down in a v shape towards her mid-section and only covers a small section of her legs. The light blue cloth writhes and shivers like a winter ghost, matching exactly the colour of the eyes that stare at our hero from behind her wavy black hair.
Raenius: Christ. And what dirty fuck of a rock did you crawl out of, Lilith?
Lilith makes a small moue of her mouth before pouting at him.
Lilith: Now that’s not very nice, is that any way to greet an old friend?
Raenius: Were we friends? Was that it? Cause I thought what it was was a professional relationship between us. Me being me and you being my brother’s pincushion.
Lilith waves a hand impatiently, dismissing his words as unimportant, never being one to allow a hollow insult from a drunk to get to her.
Lilith: I’ll let that slide, Raenius, just to let bygones be bygones and start anew with you?
Raenius: Get to the fucking point. You obviously want something or else you wouldn’t have slithered in here. What the fuck is it?
Lilith sighs and her shoulders droop just a bit, the change so slight only the most observant would notice. When her eyes next pierce Raenius they are cold and calculating.
Lilith: I want Salem.
Raenius: Miss his strong, comforting arms, do we?
Lilith: I know what’s been going on here and what is planned to go on. I want in on it. I want Salem back from that white trash, trailer park slut. And you’re going to help me.
Raenius: Well Jesus Harold fucking Christ, is that all? You want the moon, too, while we’re at it? How about one of those orgasm things I’ve heard so much about? Mine might be at war with his, but he’s still my brother. So do feel free to fuck right off, hmm?
Hearing enough, Raenius stands and stalks to the door, throwing it open and gesturing for Lilith to leave. She obliges him and moves gracefully towards the door, stopping just inside of it to turn slightly, speaking to him over her shoulder.
Lilith: It’s a pity you feel that way. I mean, after all, if you knew what your wife owed me, I’m almost certain you wouldn’t be so… nasty.
She pauses over the last word, emphasizing it and giving Raenius a little smirk before leaving him to his thoughts.
Hanson: Thank god for Raenius and his new hot friend....
Vinegar: Didn’t sound all that friendly to me...
Hanson: Who cares, in that time we’ve managed to get ready for the first match...and whats this...
Vinegar: Dan, has just been handed a piece of paper folks...
Hanson: Man, I thought this night couldn’t get any better, not only will Travis and The Lord Chief be ending the night as Tag Team Champions, now this it’s phenomenal....
Vinegar: What?
Hanson: Dylan James cannot make it to the arena, and will not be returning to GIW in the foreseeable future, apparently Old Lady Levene was worried about his latest proclamations, y’know the crazy bat shit vampire stuff, and she sent a psyche evaluation team around to whatever slum he calls home, and they’ve deemed him a hazard to himself and others, and he’s being transported directly to an Insane Asylum...
Vinegar: Wait, let me get this straight...Dylan James...
Hanson: Is too crazy even for GIW? Exactly, finally things begin to make sense...
Dennis: The Next match is scheduled for one fall, and is for the GIW.Com Championship.
“Storm Front”
Dennis: Introducing the challenger, from Townsville, Australia....JAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY KAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!
Vinegar: You gotta admire this kid, he knows each and every week he is up against it, and that the odds are stacked against him, but despite that he just keeps on going. He’s certainly got determination.
Hanson: And once again he’s come out full of enthusiasm for his umpteenth shot at the GIW.com title, despite the fact we all know precisely what the result will be, I don’t think I’ve ever truly appreciated the concept pity before now. Look at him, like a puppy all excited to see the owner that it knows is gonna sexually molest it, but just hopes this time he’ll get a different type of bone.
Vinegar: Harsh...
Hanson: But can you dispute the fact that Nathan Korpi is most likely to cripple JK. The dudes big, and he’s green....and I don’t mean like Bruce Banner when he gets angry...
Vinegar: I can’t dispute it, no.
“All Nightmare Long”
Dennis: And introducing next, his opponent and the GIW.COM CHAMPION....hailing from the Twin Citi...Oh, what....ok then, if you say so....Hailing from...really?...ok....The Barbarian Highlands...NAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATHAAAAAAAAN KOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORPI!!!!
The intro to Metallica’s anthemic “All Nightmare Long” builds slowly, the initial slow-tempo low-end noodling eventually being replaced by guitar and drums at a frantic pace that belies the fact that 3/4 of this band has been at this for the better part of thirty years.
The long-awaited full brunt of the song hits after more than a full minute of intro, punctuated by a respectable amount of fireworks from the entryway. Nathan Korpi emerges from behind the curtain, and stands on the ramp with hands on his hips. He stands there looking around at the crowd for several moments, smiling like a big kid, pointing at fans here and there. The song continues, a catchy groove that goes on for another half minute or so.
With a satisfied nod, Nate begins to make his way slowly down the entrance ramp towards the ring. He pauses here and there to smack hands with whichever fans care enough to hold theirs out. His progress is slow, since he allows fans plenty of time for people to make up their minds about whether or not his friendly demeanor overcomes his long hair, thick bushy beard, and horribly offensive death metal t-shirt.
Reaching the ringside area at last, Nate hurriedly clambers onto the ring apron, sliding under the bottom rope and standing up in the ring. He raises his fists in the classic Rocky pose, soaking in the modest cheers and applause of the crowd. The song fades out, and Nate readies himself for battle.
Vinegar: The Champion is looking in fine shape today...
Hanson: I’m not rating JK’s chances right now if I’m being honest with you.
Vinegar: Did you rate them before?
Hanson: Well...no.
Vinegar: Hazel East hands the title belt out of the ring after giving JK what’s probably his last look at the title for at least another week or so...
Hanson: And Nate springs into action and goes for JK with a thunderous cloithesline, and JK goes down...
Vinegar: But Kip’s right back up, and as Nate turns around catches him with a spinning heel kick. Which rocks Nate backwards into the ropes...a surprising start from JK, he runs the other ropes and then dives at Korpi...
Hanson: But the Nordic nightmare bends down and launches JK over the top rope to the arena below...looks like that promising start is fading into the same old story...
Vinegar: As ever JK is being resilient and is back on his feet once more and slides into the ring...
Hanson: And directly into the boot’s of Nathan Korpi, who I imagine is wondering why he’s being forced to face a teenager once more...
Vinegar: And now Korpi lifts JK to his feet...
Hanson: And he wants this over early...he hoists him up...CRASH COURSE IN BRAIN SURGER....WHAT!?!?!?[/b]
Vinegar: JK shifts his weight...manages to escape, wrap his legs around Nate’s neck....HURRICANRANA...HOLDS THE LEGS...
1...
Vinegar: Surely not...
2...
Hanson: This can’t be happening...
3!!!!
Hanson: Armageddon is upon us, ‘The Cylcone’ is a Champion!?!?!?
Dennis: Here is your winner, a NEW GIW.COM CHAMPION....’THE CYCLONE’ JAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY KAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!
Vinegar: Armageddon may be an overstatement, but this is a monumental shock, in possibly the quickest GIW.Com Title Matchup in history, ‘The Cyclone’ JK becomes Global Impact Wrestling’s youngest ever Champion.
Hanson: Good for him...
Vinegar: it is, everyone wrote him off, as they have been prone to do for his entire tenure in GIW, but finally all his hard work and determination has paid off, and he looks delighted. And from backstage come Jasmine who plants a kiss firmly on his lips, Paul Cockataoo and Ethan King swiftly follow, and they hoist JK onto their shoulders as he thrusts the title belt into the air...this is a special moment for JK, and no-one will be able to take it away from him.
Hanson: I think I might be welling up...
Vinegar: And you call Alex Kiseragi gay...anyway we’ll be right back after this....
Hanson: If anyone turns up.
Vinegar: now what makes you say that?
Hanson: Just a feeling. But at least there is Blessed Immortality at the end of the tunnel...
Vinegar: In a Tag Team Title match no less, but we’ve also got three other great matches ahead...
Hanson: Look do you think they really merit talking about, couldn’t we just cut to some backstage segment...
Vinegar: Funnily enough...
Backstage, Raenius sits in his dressing room running his fingers through his hair as he swigs from a bottle of Jim Beam Black. Until his manageress, Nyx, disturbs his reverie as she sticks her head through the door.
Nyx: Raenius, you, uh… you’ve got a visitor.
Raenius: And who the fuck might want an audience with me, hmm?
Voice: Me…
He nearly chokes on his whiskey when he hears the voice, growling in vehemence as the woman walks in past Nyx, pushing her aside ignorantly. As she walks up to the Resident Evil, her dress, dangerously décolleté, exposing most of her shoulders, plunges down in a v shape towards her mid-section and only covers a small section of her legs. The light blue cloth writhes and shivers like a winter ghost, matching exactly the colour of the eyes that stare at our hero from behind her wavy black hair.
Raenius: Christ. And what dirty fuck of a rock did you crawl out of, Lilith?
Lilith makes a small moue of her mouth before pouting at him.
Lilith: Now that’s not very nice, is that any way to greet an old friend?
Raenius: Were we friends? Was that it? Cause I thought what it was was a professional relationship between us. Me being me and you being my brother’s pincushion.
Lilith waves a hand impatiently, dismissing his words as unimportant, never being one to allow a hollow insult from a drunk to get to her.
Lilith: I’ll let that slide, Raenius, just to let bygones be bygones and start anew with you?
Raenius: Get to the fucking point. You obviously want something or else you wouldn’t have slithered in here. What the fuck is it?
Lilith sighs and her shoulders droop just a bit, the change so slight only the most observant would notice. When her eyes next pierce Raenius they are cold and calculating.
Lilith: I want Salem.
Raenius: Miss his strong, comforting arms, do we?
Lilith: I know what’s been going on here and what is planned to go on. I want in on it. I want Salem back from that white trash, trailer park slut. And you’re going to help me.
Raenius: Well Jesus Harold fucking Christ, is that all? You want the moon, too, while we’re at it? How about one of those orgasm things I’ve heard so much about? Mine might be at war with his, but he’s still my brother. So do feel free to fuck right off, hmm?
Hearing enough, Raenius stands and stalks to the door, throwing it open and gesturing for Lilith to leave. She obliges him and moves gracefully towards the door, stopping just inside of it to turn slightly, speaking to him over her shoulder.
Lilith: It’s a pity you feel that way. I mean, after all, if you knew what your wife owed me, I’m almost certain you wouldn’t be so… nasty.
She pauses over the last word, emphasizing it and giving Raenius a little smirk before leaving him to his thoughts.
Hanson: Thank god for Raenius and his new hot friend....
Vinegar: Didn’t sound all that friendly to me...
Hanson: Who cares, in that time we’ve managed to get ready for the first match...and whats this...
Vinegar: Dan, has just been handed a piece of paper folks...
Hanson: Man, I thought this night couldn’t get any better, not only will Travis and The Lord Chief be ending the night as Tag Team Champions, now this it’s phenomenal....
Vinegar: What?
Hanson: Dylan James cannot make it to the arena, and will not be returning to GIW in the foreseeable future, apparently Old Lady Levene was worried about his latest proclamations, y’know the crazy bat shit vampire stuff, and she sent a psyche evaluation team around to whatever slum he calls home, and they’ve deemed him a hazard to himself and others, and he’s being transported directly to an Insane Asylum...
Vinegar: Wait, let me get this straight...Dylan James...
Hanson: Is too crazy even for GIW? Exactly, finally things begin to make sense...
Dennis: The Next match is scheduled for one fall, and is for the GIW.Com Championship.
“Storm Front”
Dennis: Introducing the challenger, from Townsville, Australia....JAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY KAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!
Vinegar: You gotta admire this kid, he knows each and every week he is up against it, and that the odds are stacked against him, but despite that he just keeps on going. He’s certainly got determination.
Hanson: And once again he’s come out full of enthusiasm for his umpteenth shot at the GIW.com title, despite the fact we all know precisely what the result will be, I don’t think I’ve ever truly appreciated the concept pity before now. Look at him, like a puppy all excited to see the owner that it knows is gonna sexually molest it, but just hopes this time he’ll get a different type of bone.
Vinegar: Harsh...
Hanson: But can you dispute the fact that Nathan Korpi is most likely to cripple JK. The dudes big, and he’s green....and I don’t mean like Bruce Banner when he gets angry...
Vinegar: I can’t dispute it, no.
“All Nightmare Long”
Dennis: And introducing next, his opponent and the GIW.COM CHAMPION....hailing from the Twin Citi...Oh, what....ok then, if you say so....Hailing from...really?...ok....The Barbarian Highlands...NAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATHAAAAAAAAN KOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORPI!!!!
The intro to Metallica’s anthemic “All Nightmare Long” builds slowly, the initial slow-tempo low-end noodling eventually being replaced by guitar and drums at a frantic pace that belies the fact that 3/4 of this band has been at this for the better part of thirty years.
The long-awaited full brunt of the song hits after more than a full minute of intro, punctuated by a respectable amount of fireworks from the entryway. Nathan Korpi emerges from behind the curtain, and stands on the ramp with hands on his hips. He stands there looking around at the crowd for several moments, smiling like a big kid, pointing at fans here and there. The song continues, a catchy groove that goes on for another half minute or so.
With a satisfied nod, Nate begins to make his way slowly down the entrance ramp towards the ring. He pauses here and there to smack hands with whichever fans care enough to hold theirs out. His progress is slow, since he allows fans plenty of time for people to make up their minds about whether or not his friendly demeanor overcomes his long hair, thick bushy beard, and horribly offensive death metal t-shirt.
Reaching the ringside area at last, Nate hurriedly clambers onto the ring apron, sliding under the bottom rope and standing up in the ring. He raises his fists in the classic Rocky pose, soaking in the modest cheers and applause of the crowd. The song fades out, and Nate readies himself for battle.
Vinegar: The Champion is looking in fine shape today...
Hanson: I’m not rating JK’s chances right now if I’m being honest with you.
Vinegar: Did you rate them before?
Hanson: Well...no.
Vinegar: Hazel East hands the title belt out of the ring after giving JK what’s probably his last look at the title for at least another week or so...
Hanson: And Nate springs into action and goes for JK with a thunderous cloithesline, and JK goes down...
Vinegar: But Kip’s right back up, and as Nate turns around catches him with a spinning heel kick. Which rocks Nate backwards into the ropes...a surprising start from JK, he runs the other ropes and then dives at Korpi...
Hanson: But the Nordic nightmare bends down and launches JK over the top rope to the arena below...looks like that promising start is fading into the same old story...
Vinegar: As ever JK is being resilient and is back on his feet once more and slides into the ring...
Hanson: And directly into the boot’s of Nathan Korpi, who I imagine is wondering why he’s being forced to face a teenager once more...
Vinegar: And now Korpi lifts JK to his feet...
Hanson: And he wants this over early...he hoists him up...CRASH COURSE IN BRAIN SURGER....WHAT!?!?!?[/b]
Vinegar: JK shifts his weight...manages to escape, wrap his legs around Nate’s neck....HURRICANRANA...HOLDS THE LEGS...
1...
Vinegar: Surely not...
2...
Hanson: This can’t be happening...
3!!!!
Hanson: Armageddon is upon us, ‘The Cylcone’ is a Champion!?!?!?
Dennis: Here is your winner, a NEW GIW.COM CHAMPION....’THE CYCLONE’ JAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY KAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!
Vinegar: Armageddon may be an overstatement, but this is a monumental shock, in possibly the quickest GIW.Com Title Matchup in history, ‘The Cyclone’ JK becomes Global Impact Wrestling’s youngest ever Champion.
Hanson: Good for him...
Vinegar: it is, everyone wrote him off, as they have been prone to do for his entire tenure in GIW, but finally all his hard work and determination has paid off, and he looks delighted. And from backstage come Jasmine who plants a kiss firmly on his lips, Paul Cockataoo and Ethan King swiftly follow, and they hoist JK onto their shoulders as he thrusts the title belt into the air...this is a special moment for JK, and no-one will be able to take it away from him.
Hanson: I think I might be welling up...
Vinegar: And you call Alex Kiseragi gay...anyway we’ll be right back after this....