Sentinel 07/03/10 Results

[T-Robosaurus Rex]

[The show opens and we are greeted by the podgy, rounded and gruesome face that belongs to the temporary Senior Enforcer, he is clearly chewing on something inexplicable when we join him, and every so often his mouth is obscured by his chunky hand shovelling more unknown crap into his hole. Meanwhile in the background we hear Vinegars voice.]

Vinegar: Affirmative Action is not enough, Dark Days are ahead...

[The sound quickly changes into a high pitched squealing, signifying a tape being reqound.]

Vinegar: Affirmative Action is not enough, Dark Days are ahead...

[The sound distorts once again]

Vinegar: Affirmative Action is not enough, Dark Days are ahead...

[Each time the words play, a smile begins to grow across the unattractive mass that makes up the younger Levene’s face]

Vinegar: Affirmative Action is not enough, Dark Days are ahead...

[Until this point Tate has been indifferent to the camera in his office. The camera pans out as he finally presses the pause button and the show he is re-watching, and he then looks up at the camera, places his too sticky hands together in what he obviously feels is a creepy, powerful pyramid. He looks down at a speech that has been pre-written and sits before him, between various food wrappers, upon the desk, he glances down and begins]

Tate: Me and my friends, I think you know them, The Covenant, have been hearing a lot of talk over the past week, talk of a resistance. It became clear that as your Senior Enforcer I needed to make a statement to set the record straight.

We, the all powerful members of The Covenant, do not recognise that there is any such thing as a ‘resistance’. We have felt no signs of dissent from the majority of the company, and the few voices of short-sightedness come from an insignificant rabble who have no hope of altering our final goal.

I hope I am making this clear, there is no resistance, there will be no resistance, and any resistance that attempts to rear its ugly head will be put down, firmly.

Tonight’s show will be a glowing beacon highlighting the control we possess over this company, the loyalty we demand from our staff, and the true futility of any form of resistance, no matter how pathetic the form it takes. Anyone considering trying to interfere with our plans, may wish to keep a close eye on the fates of Jet Somers and Calypso Desmona tonight, two unfortunate souls who made the mistake of stepping in our way.

Before we start what will quite possibly be the greatest Sentinel to date, I have a little extra news to give to you all. On Sunday March 21st, you are all cordially invited to join ‘The Greater Evil’ Dirge as he celebrates his victory over current Unified Global Champion Donovan Hastings. Entertainment beforehand will include Raenius and Chassie Fear successfully defending their GIW Tag Team Titles against a team to be named at a future date, and for some light relief Travis Roberts will make his return to a GIW ring, only for Randy Boolzian to show how much damage ‘The Momentum Killer’ inflicted upon ‘The Flatliner’ in New Orleans.

Nicholas Vinegar for once said it best himself, Affirmative Action is not enough, Dark Days are ahead on March 21st.

[With that Tate spins round on his chair, and faces away from the camera, signalling the end of this segment, and the beginning of tonight’s show.]

[T-Robosaurus Rex]

Hanson: Time for the greatest Sentinel of all time to begin!

Vinegar: How do you figure that?

Hanson: Have you seen the card? Fifty percent Covenant coverage, and twenty-five percent Jet Somers eating his own teeth. Not to mention the fact that Travis Roberts and Donovan hastings are not on hand to lower the standard of proceedings...

Vinegar: It’s amazing how much can change in the space of a few short weeks, especially if you’re a fickle sheep.

Familiar Voice: Is that it...

Hanson: Is that what?

Vinegar: I didn’t say that.

Hanson: Then who was that? I think I recognise the voice...

Second Familiar Voice: No, Jean-Luc can still hear the turncoat...

Familiar Voice: Maybe if we press thi...

Hanson: What the hell is going on, who the hell was that?

Vinegar: It seems we are undergoing some technical difficulties Ladies and Gentlemen, I can only hope this broadcast comes to you in a timely manner, but given the current administrations track record there is a fifty percent chance this won’t.

Hanson: What are you insinuating, are you suggesting the current forces are incompetent...you know they can hear you, and did you not listen, there will be no resistance!

Vinegar: I’m afraid an obese adolescent is not going to bully me, those days are gone.

Hanson: or so you thought, you better watch your mouth.

Vinegar: Let’s just get on with the show, before anymore glitches jeopardise it.

Hanson: Nothing will jeopardise tonight. NOTHING!

Dennis: The next match is scheduled for one fall, introducing first, from Chicago, FOREWWWWWWWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELL BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING!

Vinegar: Forewell Boding making his third appearance in GIW, and it’s probably his biggest challenge to date; Randy Boolzian will give us a really good idea of what Boding is made of...

Hanson: this is the weakest point of tonight’s show, who really gives a damn about either of these...

Second Familiar Voice: So that should be working now should it? Picard, can we still hear the turncoat?



Second Familiar Voice: Well I know you are in here; do I look like a moron? Get back in the other room and tell me whether we can hear them still?

Familiar Voice: Do you need to be so...harsh, he’s helping us remember.

Second Familiar Voice: That’s just it, he’s the help. You really need to address how you speak to them, they’re not our friends. Picard is in this for his own self...HURRY UP PICARD! FIX THE BROADCAST WARP FACTOR SIX!

Familiar Voice: Forewell is almost in the ring, think this will take much longer?

Second Familiar Voice: Do I look like Number 2?

Familiar Voice: Who?

Second Familiar Voice: Guy with the beard, don’t know his name...right we’re on!

[Finally we put the pieces together and the two familiar voices are instantly recognised.]

Travis – ‘Welcome to GIW Sentinel....TWiSTeD!!!’

Donovan: I am ‘The TWiSTeD Lord’ Donovan Hastings and I am sat next to the one and only ‘TWiSTeD High Commander’ Travis Roberts.

Travis – ‘We’re going to guide you through the following ill-conceived night of spectacular clusterbang action...’

Donovan: We’ve already got our first...competitor. I didn’t realise he was a wrestler.

Travis – ‘Why did you think he was hanging around with eD?’

Donovan: A fetish?

Travis – ‘Ha Ha...no those guys are more obvious. You ever seen a grown man lick a muppet?

Hastings: It’s worrying that’s not a euphemism.

“Wonder Whats Next?’

Dennis: And his opponent, from...

Travis – ‘Can they hear Dennis?’

Donovan: PICARD! CAN YOU HEAR THE INTRO’S?

Dennis: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNDYYYYYY BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLZIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIANNNN!!!

Donovan: I’ll damn well speak when I like, even if I do obscure the sound from the feed.

Travis – ‘Boolzian.’

Donovan: That’s right, the first match of the night is between you’re agents newest client, and the man who’s gonna feel the full wrath of your return at the next Pay-Per-View.

Travis – ‘What’s the point? Does ‘The Headliner’ really need to prove his superiority once more. It’s just another shallow ploy from the misguided fools that think they have control, to attempt to foil the plans of the TWiSTeD. Their simple minds believe occupying Travis Roberts with Boolzian will somehow help their efforts against the Lord Chief.

Donovan: To be honest I’m really not all that interested in this match.

Travis – ‘It may well be uninspired, but tonight we’re here to save GIW’s reputation by adding some much needed talent to this broadcast.’

Donovan: That may be true, but I’m going to use this opportunity to update my i-Phone.

Travis – ‘Randy has taken the opportunity to psyche out Forewell by pointing nervously behind him, as if someone is creeping up behind him, and gets much mirth from the reaction of Boding, who spins round and adiopts a loose kung-fu pose.’

Donovan: I really need some new apps.

Travis – ‘Hazel East, the only official on tonights card who isn’t nose deep in Dirge’s fetid ass crack, signals for the match to get underway, and both men tie up, with BoolZ quickly taking the advantage...and if BoolZ knows anything, it’s how to take advantage.’

Donovan: That one may smile, and smile, and be a villain. At least I am sure it may be so in Denmark.

Travis – ‘’The Blessed One’ may have had one too many pre-rolled’s, but you seem to be speaking in tongues buddy.’

Donovan: It’s Hamlet! You can be so uncouth.

Travis – ‘Since when did you quote Shakespeare?

Donovan: Since I got a Shakespeare App.

Travis – ‘In the ring Randy Boolzian is dominating Forewell Boding, who is still looking in the general direction Randy was pointing in earlier, the guys is quite honestly a fool...’

Donovan: It’s 64 degrees in Cairo.

Travis – ‘So?’

Donovan: Just thought you might like to know, I can tell you the temperature anywhere in the world right now.

Travis – ‘’The Headliner’ shall be sure to come to you if he needs to migrate. Forewell is feeling the heat in the ring, as Randy whips him into the corner, and follows into him with Tumbleweed. Now you see, ‘The Blessed One’ would have seen that coming and got out of the way...’

Donovan: You can get a Sentinel App so you can watch on the go.

Travis – ‘You’re not even watching whilst sat on the sofa.’

Donovan: I’m sorry, did I say I was gonna waste my money on it? Clearly if I’m on the go, there is no point in watching Sentinel.

Travis – ‘You’re not missing a great deal, apart from Forewell getting his ass well and truley handed to him, as Randy executes TwistedSteele, and quite frankly ‘The TWiSTeD Guerrilla’ doesn’t see anything TWiSTeD in the manoeuvre whatsoever.’

Donovan: NIGLET! GET ME A PIZZA!

Travis – ‘Don’t you have an app for that?’

Donovan: No...I have a niglet for that.

Travis – ‘Clearly. Forewell tries to mount a comeback, knocking Randy Boolzian to the floor with a hard shoulder block, looks like he shocked himself with that...FLUIDITY! Boolzian predictably hits his kip up clothesline, a move ‘The Headliner’ has tired of countering...’

Donovan: Maybe in a couple of weeks you could get drunk before the match, give him a fighting chance. I could suggest a few cocktails, there is an app on here for that too...

Travis – ‘If Randy wastes his time with rookies like Forewell and Vlad all month, he’s going to have a real surprise whether ‘The Blessed One’ is sober or not...’

Donovan: When are you ever, strictly, sober?

Travis – ‘Good point, but sometimes when Travis Roberts looks at Randy Boolzian he see’s many reasons why being so might be productive...’

Donovan: Are you comparing yourself to Boolzian?

Travis – ‘No, merely that if there is any reason to the world at all, maybe Randy Boolzian has been sent to us all as a walking, talking, Cautionary Tale.’

Donovan: I’ll intervene the moment your judgement becomes as clouded as his...

Travis – ‘SOBERING THOUGHTS! And BoolZ goes for the cover...’

1...

2...

3!!!

Dennis: Here is your winne...

Donovan: You know the most annoying thing about an i-phone is?

Dennis: ZZIIIIIIIIIIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNN!!!

Travis – ‘It’s owner?

Donovan: Very droll. Good thing it’s not mine.

Travis – ‘Who’s it it then?’

Donovan: I think it might be Jet’s?

Travis – ‘Who’s up next!’

[T-Robosaurus Rex]

Teahouse starts to play to the surprise and excitement of the arena crowd.

Donovan: Huh?

Alex Kiseragi walks out onto the stage dressed in the latest white A-Kis t-shirt, grey jeans and black converse. His hands are tucked in his pockets until he reaches the top of the ramp. He looks around at the enthused crowd and starts shaking his head and waving them off dismissively but as the excitement continues he pretends to give it, takes his hands out of his pockets, claps playfully and throws his trademark double kick back flip combo.

Donovan: When did Jet’s body and eye sockets shrink?

Travis – ‘That’s Alex Kiseragi.’

Donovan:But you said Jet was up next?

Alex starts to make his way down towards the ring, taking a little more time than usual to slap the outstretched hands on either side of the entry way. He takes a mic offered to him by a staff member at ringside then casually jumps onto the apron and climbs in through the ropes.

Travis – ‘Apparently ‘The Dragon’ is making an impromptu appearance, delaying Jet’s match.’

Donovan: Interrupting the schedule, just so his voice can be heard, that’s disrespectful.

The music fades and Alex raises the mic to his mouth, then lowers it as he waits for the crowd to quieten down, smiling. A few moments later and the noise has lowered to an acceptable level, Alex raises the mic again.

Kiseragi: Hey. Miss me?

There are a few more cheers and woops from the crowd that bring another smile to Alex’s face, though he holds his hand up to silence them again. He starts to pace the ring slowly as he speaks.

Hastings: Did he go somewhere? Was it Disneyland?

Travis – ‘Was he injured?’

Donovan: Pretty sure I didn’t injure him. So it’s largely unimportant.

Kiseragi: I know I’m not the best person to give free reign of a microphone so I’ll try to keep this brief. First things first I want to say thank you to the Covenant…

Donovan: Did they give him that haircut?

Kiseragi: …for giving me a few paid weeks off. It gave me some well needed time to think.

Travis – ‘’The Headliner’ will give The Covenant credit for that, no-one ever considered paying Alex Kiseragi not to show up.’

Kiseragi: You see I was a little down on myself after Horizons. For the second year in a row I lost a big match and a title out there on the biggest event of the year. I lost my tag team partner and I didn’t even get a shot at the Global Challenge.

Donovan: How could anyone be ‘down’ after Horizons, after the day the Lord Chief finally met his Desinty?

Kiseragi: But in that time I had to realised that since I got here, at the risk of sounding arrogant, I’ve done pretty damn well. I won my first Global Heavyweight Title in under four months. I’m a two time World Champion and a former Tag Team Champion and I’d like to think my place in the annals of GIW history is secure.

Travis – ‘Indeed it is, he’ll have a few footnotes in ‘The Blessed Ones’ legacy.’

More enthused yet sporadic cheers go up from members of the crowd.

Kiseragi: There’s still something missing though and realised what that was, a first. Declan Prescott was the first Global Heavyweight Champion. Travis Roberts, the first Unified Global Champion. Marek Daisuke and Ezekiel Pax, the great War and Peace, the first GIW Tag Team Champions, Moss Edwards the first GIW.com Champion.

At first glance it seems there’s not a lot of firsts left out there, but there is one. One that I’m better placed to grasp then anyone else in this company. Ladies and Gentlemen, right here in this ring I declare that I, The Dragon, Alex Kiseragi, will be the first, GIW Grand Slam Champion.

A big cheer goes up from the whole crowd this time and Alex smiles, looking out over all of them.

Kiseragi: Well I’m glad you all approve. That means one thing though.

Alex turns towards the ramp as if speaking to the backstage area.

Kiseragi: JK. I know this isn’t the best time for you, but that’s what comes with being a champion. At Affirmative Action or Dark Days, or whatever the hell it’s going to be called, I’m challenging you to put that GIW.com title on the line. I’d say you have until next week to give me your answer but you’re a fighting Champion, I know that. So I’ll just say this. I’ll see you in two weeks. Be ready.

Teahouse starts to play again as Alex lowers the mic and climbs out of the ring.

Travis – ‘Alex Kiseragi hitting a new low here tonight, declaring his interest in the GIW.com Championship. He was once an adequate adversary.’

Donovan: The what now championship?’

Travis – ‘Cal’s old garter belt.’

Donovan: And A-Kis wants to challenge JK for it? Perverts...

Travis – ‘Jet Somers takes on JK and three others next!’

Donovan: You said that last time....and how did JK get Cal’s garter belt?’

[T-Robosaurus Rex]

Travis – ‘Welcome back to GIW Sentinel TWiSTeD, the next match is just awaiting the final competitor, ‘The Cyclone JK, Vladimir Ulysys, Paul Cockatoo and Tim Kingsley are already in the ring, and they are joined by Dirge’s butler Damarest.

Donovan: Butler? I imagine he was most likely The Covenants fluffer...

Travis – ‘He probably moonlights.’

Donovan: Makes sense. Hopefully we’re gonna see a few people more fall in line with the Resistance.

Travis – ‘You’re not going to refer to it as that are you? Let just suggest people may start to show Tate and The Covenant they can’t have it all their way.’

Donovan: The ‘resistance’ seems to piss them off, did you see Tate’s intro to the show?

Travis – ‘Unfortunately.’

Donovan: Don’t you wanna see that swollen head turn red?

Dennis: And their opponent, from Deep Creek, Mississippi....JEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEETT SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMEEEERS!!!

Travis – ‘The point you make is valid though, it would surprise many people if the likes of JK and Paul Cockatoo will lower themselves to the level of being The Covenants willing bitches.’

Donovan: They cannot even coexist with Kingsley and Vlad, they are already shoving one another a little, and jostling for position, and the big lug of an official is having to play mommy to them as jet makes his way to the ring.

Travis – ‘What do you make of Jet?’

Donovan: Not this again. Look, I’m not going to leave you for Jet OK?

Travis – ‘That’s not what ‘The Blessed One’ meant, but thanks. After last week’s Main Event, the fans would probably like an insight into your relationship with him? ‘

Donovan: Relationship? There is no relationship. He just so happens to have the good sense to hate The Covenant as much as us. Last week was no more than two men pushed to breaking point.

Travis – ‘He did give you the opportunity to strike out, exploiting a loophole in your promise?’

Donovan: Really want to remind me why I made that promise? Sure Jet was useful last week, and our enemy is the same, but that’s where it ends.

Travis – ‘But you will be rooting for him to overcome the odds in this match.’

Donovan: It’ll descend into farce before that becomes an issue.

Travis – ‘Well we’re going to find that out any moment now, Jet is climbing into the ring now, and he looks like he determined to give a good showing here. ‘The Headliner’ does wonder if the likes of JK and Cockatoo, despite morale objections, will be able to do anything but involve themselves in this orchestrated beat down.’

Donovan: It does take a fair amount of self belief and a big pair of stones to stand up to The Covenant, JK’ stones may not have developed to that size just yet.

Travis – ‘Well he’s looking over at Jet, the young GIW.com Champion, and he seems to be looking at him for some kind of approval. Jet has shrugged his shoulders...maybe he’s just realised he stands no hope?’

Donovan: Nah, he just considers himself a man of ‘integrity’, he won’t hold anything against JK if he does happen to act like a cowardly scrotum.

Travis – ‘And due to that deep felt integrity, Jet Somers is insisting on shaking the hands of his opponents before the match, but Vlad does not possess such integrity, and when he see’s Somers’ outstretched hand, he bunches his own and slams it stiffly into Jet’s jaw. JK looks shocked, and grabs Vlad’s shoulder and explains to him Jet was trying to be sporting, but this falls on deaf ears as the Russian laughs in an accent and then launches an elbow into the forehead of the recovering Jet.’

Donovan: have you ever tried explaining something to a Communist? On a whole they’re generally more intellectually challenged than that Turncoat Hanson.’

Travis – ‘Tim Kingsley obviously agrees with you and he follows Vlad’s elbow smash by running the ropes and driving Jet Somers face into the canvas with a Bulldog. JK and Paul aren’t sure what to do as jet climbs to his feet, Vlad rushes wsith a clothesline, which Jet ducks, only for Kingsley to charge straighjt into a hip toss. Vlad returning, and swings wildly, only for Jet to duck once more, grab him around the waist, BELLY TO BELLY!’

Donovan: We failed to consider another aspect of this match. Sure JK and Paul Cockatoo might have some morale doubts about taking part in this clusterfight, but they may also have some reputation issues. How do they look if Jet ends up beating all four of them?

Travis – ‘It certainly won’t help them, even Sean Jensen and Dylan James could have put up a good showing in such circumstances.’

Donovan: Really?

Travis – ‘Apologies, Travis Roberts can often over-exaggerate, but Jet is inviting JK and Paul Cockatoo onto him, and Paul makes the first move, trying to lock up with Jet, who easily dispenses him to the floor, and turns to face JK. They go to lock up, but JK thinks quickly and dodges behind Jet at the last minute, squats down and when Jet turns hits him with a standing dropkick that sends the MMA Fighter into the ropes. The GIW.com Champion follows in with a cross body, but Jet steps forwards, catches the youngster and bodyslams him to the ground...’

Donovan: Watch out for the Commie!

Travis – ‘Vlad back on his feet now, and he approaches Jet from behind, spins him round...sets him up for a DDT...’

Donovan: Somers manages to counter and lifts Vlad off his feet and suplexes him onto the canvas. That was a fine Spinning Dracula Drop.

Travis – ‘What’s a Spinning Dracula Drop?’

Donovan: What Jet just did to Vlad. Who’s rolled outside of the ring and slammed the canvas in anger. Russians are funny when they are angry.

Travis – ‘Jet now turning his attentions to Tim Kingsley who has just rushed towards him, and he slams him to the ground with a Spinebuster, and then mounts him and proceeds to pound him with numerous shots, until Damarest makes up a rule to allow him to break the hold...’

Donovan: About time too.

Travis – ‘You approve of Damarest’s actions?’

Donovan: No the Niglet brought my Pizza. ROMPF!

Travis – ‘As Donovan takes a much needed break to eat, Vladimir has picked up a chair outside, and Damarest chooses to ignore this, and instead chastise Jet for his ground and pound. Somers stands, hands on hips, clearly not listening to a word of it.’

Donovan: BLARGH! WHAT THE TWiSTeD IS THIS!

Travis – ‘Dude, you just covered the screen in half eaten pizza! The Blessed One will have to clean that off now...one second.’

Donovan: Pizza? Pizza!?! This is no Pizza! NIGLET! WHAT IN THE NAME OF HASTINGS DO YOU CALL THIS?

Travis – ‘There that’s better. What’s the problem anyway?’

Donovan: I’ll deal with this, give me a moment, The Niglet is here. MUSHROOMS! WHAT WERE YOU THINKING MAN!

Travis – ‘Vlad now in the ring, and Jet turns to face him, and Vlad has extended his arms, and swings...’

Donovan: You clearly were not thinkin...WOAH! IMPRESSIVE!

Travis – ‘From the other side of the ring, JK see’s Vlad about to use the chair, runs the ropes, leaps into the air, and simultaneously grabs the chair out of Vlad’s hands and tosses it away, wraps his legs around Jet Somers head and executes a Hurricanrana.’

Hastings: Don’t tell me JK has taken the ‘Do It the right way’ Pledge as well?

Travis – ‘’The Blessed One’ is not aware of such a fact, and Vlad isn’t quite sure what to do, Jet Somers lays on the floor, and JK points as if to say, ‘You don’t need weapons’. Vlad glares at JK, but on the other side of the ring Tim Kingsley is handed the chair by Damarest, and as Jet gets to his feet he swings...’

Hastings: ROLLING CLUTCH PIN

Travis – ‘Jet saved from another chair shot, but now being pinned...’

1...
2...

Travis – ‘Somers kicks out, despite Damarest’s lightening quick count. And now Kingsley is squaring up to Cockatoo, as Vlad towers over JK. Damarest goes over and tries to separate them all, and focus them on Jet...but Vlad and Kingsley protest they cannot work with JK and Paul.’

Donovan: He looks constipated. I always ensure The Niglet’s bowels are in adequate working order before he officiates, I say I but I have people for that too...

Travis – ‘I think that’s Damarest’s angry face. Looks like he’s losing patience with The Covenant’s hand picked mob...’

Donovan: Was that really necessary?

Travis – ‘The Lord Chief is referring to Damarest picking up the chair, and squarely planting it on both JK and Paul’s skulls. Looks like he agrees with Tim and Vlads assessment that those guys were just getting in the way.’

Donovan: I said it was going to descend into a farce, but this wasn’t what I expected.

Travis – ‘Well Somers is being helped to his feet now my Damarest, who holds him in a Full Nelson, and allows Vlad to plant that Chair into his face...What are you doing? This is not really the time to bugger about with app’s?’

Donovan: Nothing.....done, done now.

Travis – ‘What was that all about.’

Donovan: Nothing, just needed to see how much I’m worth in Euro’s.

Travis – ‘You sure do pick some strange moments to be, well, you. Damarest picks Jet to his feet again, and puts him in another full nelson...Kingsley swings now...BUT JET BREAKS THE NELSON, AND DUCKS!’

Donovan: Dirge will not be happy if Jet has damages Damarest’s pretty little face.

Travis – ‘Jet takes advantage of the confusion, and nails Tim in the face causing him to drop the chair, and then turns and manages to double Vlad over with a kick to the stomach. Ais that...what is Forewell Boding doing running from backstage...Danmarest getting to his feet manages to grab Jet again, but as he does Forewell charges into the ring and dispatches of Kingsley with a German Suplex, that almost snaps Tim in half.’

Donovan: Damarest is letting go of Jet to call for the bell...

Travis – ‘But Vlad was already swinging the chair, and once again Jet ducks and Damarest takes a second shot to the face, which Jet cannot help but smile at...as Forwell catches Vlad with a swinging Neckbreaker, before pouncing onto Damarest, and restraining him with a modified corss face chicken wing...are you on that damn i-Phone again?’

Donovan: Done, Done! I forgot to renew some library books....there is an app for that too...’

Travis – ‘Forewell continues to hold of Damarest as Kingsley charges at jet, who takes him down with a drop toe hold, he turns as Vlad get’s to his feet....HAZEL EAST COMING OUT FROM THE BACK...Jet leaps onto the second rope...JETSTREAMER! He covers! East slides in to make the cover....’

1...

2...

3...

Dennis: Here is your winner.....JEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEETTTTTT SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMEEEEERS!!!

Travis – ‘Jet Somers overcomes The Covenants misjudged match, with some unlikely help. And JK and Paul get to their feet, and Jet extends his hand to both of them. And they accept his offer. Is that a signal that they are joining the fight?’

Donovan: Aren’t I, technically, the leader of any Resistance?

Travis – ‘’The Blessed One’ would imagine so, that strap that Owen carries around suggests as much.’

Donovan: Then any application to join will need to be reviewed by The Lord Chief personally, so Jk and Cockatoo have joined nothing until further notice.

Travis – ‘And now, as they make their way up the ramp Jet is asking Forewell and Hazel East why they got involved...and they both pull out i-phones!?!?’

Donovan: Errr...

Travis – ‘Give it to ‘The Headliner’...

Donovan: About that...

Travis – ‘’’They’ are attacking Jet Somers’ and ‘Official needed in ring!’, so you weren’t as surprised at the ‘help’ as the rest of us? How is this exactly doing things ‘the right way’.’

Donovan: No rules have been broken. I haven’t stepped foot in the arena, I didn’t interfere in the match, nor did I coerce either Forewell or Hazel to get involved, just gave them information which they made a choice what to do with.

Travis – ‘You told Boding ‘They’ were involved! ‘The Blessed One’ is keeping hold of this until the end of the show. Coming up next the GIW Tag Team Titles are on the line.’

[T-Robosaurus Rex]

Travis – ‘Welcome back, we’re about to see The Covenant defend their dubiously won GIW Tag Team Titles...’

Donovan: See, if they don’t play by the rules, why should we. Isn’t their natural order to the world?

Travis – ‘Because we’re better than them. It’s that simple.’

Donovan: That’s dumb.

Travis – ‘No ‘coerced’ you into making the decision, you were just given information which you made the choice of what to do with it.’

Donovan: Touche

Dennis: The next match is scheduled for one fall, and is for The GIW Tag Team Championships.

‘Quick Death’

Dennis: introducing first, the Challengers! From London England....THE THAMES VAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLEY HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITT SQUAAAD!!!

Travis – ‘These guys seem to get an awful lot of title shots for guys ‘The Headliner’ wouldn’t even recognise in the queue at the canteen.’

Donovan: They’ve had other matches? I just thought they were two British Jobbers shipped in to give ‘The Covenant’ an easy first defence.

Travis – ‘It’s not a bad guess, but apparently Johnny Blake is an Eight Time World Champion.’

Donovan: Why are you changing the subject? Who the Donovan is Johnny Blake?

Travis – ‘The old one coming to the ring.’

Donovan: Him? He’s never been near a world championship.

Travis – ‘’The Blessed One’ is pretty sure he won them in Britain.’

Donovan: Britain Have you ever wrestled for a British Promotion?

Travis – ‘Of course not!’

Donovan: Exactly! And neither have I. Because World Champions don’t ply their trade in Britain.

Travis – ‘That’s a point that’s hard to argue.’

Donovan: Speaking of Redcoats, did I see Hanson sneak out during the interval?

Travis – ‘Probably gone to shovel some more feed into Tate’s trough. And you can’t say ’redcoats’ on National television...’

Donovan: What they gonna do, revoke our memberships to some guild we don’t belong to anyway?

‘Bury me in Smoke’

Dennis: And their opponents THE GIW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS! RAENIUS & CHASSIE FEAR, THE COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVENAAAAAAAANT!!!

Travis – ‘’The Blessed One’ was surprised to hear these guys attended a signing session.’

Donovan: Why? Things like that attract the desperate and lonely, who else stands for hours on end to meet the likes of Raenius & Chassie? It’s the ideal picking ground for converts into a kinky sex cult like The Covenant.

Travis – ‘Good point, ‘The Headliner’ thinks it’s pretty likely Tates words about there being ‘no resistance’ were in reference to Chassie Fear, surely by now the old girl is worn out...’

Donovan: Exactly! So they need to recruit some new, younger, more ‘resistant’ blood.

Travis – ‘Suddenly it becomes clear, thanks.’

Donovan: No problem.

Travis – ‘Despite being rookies though, ‘The Headliner’ imagines The TVHS will offer more resistance than the spineless Randy Boolzian last week.’

Donovan: The what now?

Travis – ‘TVHS, Thames Valley Hit Squad.’

Donovan: Why not just say that, rather than making them sound like a retro form of video recording equipment?

Travis – ‘It was an abbreviation. You of all people should appreciate getting to the point swiftly.’

Donovan: I’m not sure I follow.

Travis – ‘Break the wall dude, break the wall.’

Donovan: What? Where does Chris Jericho fit into the equation?

Travis – ‘It matters not. The Covenant are in the ring, and it seems Chassie Fear is starting off against ‘Dashing’ Duncan Ryder’

Donovan: Is he quick then?

Travis – ‘’The Blessed One’ hasn’t looked that far down the profile yet, but Travis Roberts thinks it’s meant to be in reference to his looks.’

Donovan: But he looks like his face as been shrunk and his lips enlarged, he looks ridiculous!

Travis – ‘’The Headliner’ wouldn’t like to speculate about who gave him the nickname, but ‘The Blessed One’ has heard he spends time at Alex Kiseragi’s cave.’

Donovan: I think someone who used to do this got in trouble for making insinuations like that, though it probably is the size of a caver...

Travis – ‘No! Alex Kiseragi’s ‘Cave’ is a gym he set up.’

Donovan: He didn’t really think the naming of that through did he?

Travis – ‘Apparently not. Duncan and Chassie lock up, and Chassie takes the advantage with some swift knee’s to the midsection, and them a somersault Neckbreaker when Duncan falls to his knees. She spins round, and hits a standing moonsault on the downed member of the TVHS. She gets to her feet, and strikes a pose, which incites a torrent of boos from the vast majority of the crowd, which she just laughs off.’

Donovan: I do look forward to the day my Cal destroys that filthy harlot.

Travis – ‘Let’s just hope Dirge does not destroy her first. ‘

Donovan: Why would Dirge destroy a member of his own faction? I know Chassie is irritating but do you really think even her friends want to hurt her?

Travis – ‘Not what I was saying, Chassie is doing all the destroying here though as she whips Duncan into the ropes and she follows him in, only for Duncan to roll out of the way, causing Chassie to get stunned...Johnny Blake sidesteps along the canvas, grabs a fistful of hair, and pulls hard, bringing the dark rose to the floor...Erik comes across, and slaps him, Johnny Blake just stands looking on in complete shock as Erik returns and helps Chassie to her feet, and even escorts her to make the tag with Raenius...much to the on looking horror of Johnny Blake. But half way across the ring The Dark Rose shrugs off Erik, turns and dives through the ropes, spearing Johnny Blake to the arena floor.’

Donovan: I hope she landed on her ugly face.

Travis – ‘Conventional rules seem to have gone out of the window now, as Raenius climbs into the ring, and charges at Duncan, who manages to sidestep, grab Raenius and use his momentum to drill him onto his head with a powerful DDT’

Donovan: These Brits can fight, I especially like that Johnny Blakes style.

Donovan: All he has done is grab Chassie’s hair.

Donovan: So? As the brits would say, ‘I like the cut of his jib’.

Travis – ‘They don’t say that’

Donovan: Well you would know.

Travis – ‘What is that supposed to mean?’

Donovan: Think Y2J man, Y2J.

Travis – ‘Johnny Blake is doing something else now, after a brief scuffle on the arena floor, he has grabbed Chassie’s hair once more and is slamming her face into the guard rails. Whilst Erik is torn between Raenius in ring and Chassie on the outside. When Raenisu and Duncan get to their feet, and ‘The Resident Evil’ lands a chop directly to Duncan’s throat, Erik’s decision is made for him, and he climbs down from the ring and tears Johnny Blake off of ‘The Dark Rose’’

Donovan: They really know how to ruin a show these stand in ref’s.

Travis – ‘In the ring Raenius swings at the staggering Duncan Ryder, who manages to duck away whilst trying to regain his breath, Johnny Blake gets out of Erik’s grasp as Erik goes to help Chassie to her feet, Blake grabs a chair and throws it to Duncan who catches it...and looks at it for a moment, as Raenius turns towards him....and tosses it away....Johnny Blake slams the canvas in frustration....’

Donovan: Has everyone gone crazy, throwing chairs away? Has the Old Bag been in contact with all of them?

Travis – ‘Chassie back in the ring...she leaps at Duncan who turns....grabs him by the head....Raenius launches...SHOTGUN SHINE!’

1...

2...

3!!!

Dennis: here are your winners, and STILL GIW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS, THEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVENNNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANT!!!!

Travis – ‘Johnny Blake looks on in horror from the outside, he knows there was a chance to win this...’

Donovan: That was the equalizer and Duncan decided to throw it away, you gotta take every opportunity against perverted cultists.

Travis – ‘’The Blessed One’ thinks he may have learned that lesson, as he lies face up on the canvas as Raenius and Chassie hold those tarnished titles in the air once more. The ‘Main Event’ is up next....’

[T-Robosaurus Rex]

Travis – ‘It’s time for tonight’s Main Event, and ‘The Blessed One’ kinda hopes this is quick one. Calypso Desmona is already in the ring, surrounded by the steel cage.

Donovan: I can’t believe that’s actually Cal in there.

Travis – ‘’The Headliner’ has to admit he expected you to have a plan to get her out of this.’

Donovan: I did! But it seems Jet has something against cross dressing, and he makes out he’d do anything to get one over The Covenant.

Travis – ‘But not that.’

Donovan: I even sent him the wig.

Dennis: This is tonight’s Main Event Cage Match, already in the ring, Calypso Desmona!

‘The One You Love To Hate!’

Dennis: And her opponent, from Las Vegas, Nevada....DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRGE!!!

Donovan: I cannot wait until March 21st. That lumbering fool thought what I did to his shoulder last year was worth retribution? He barely registered on my radar back then, what is he expecting to accomplish by targeting Cal?

Travis – ‘Tonight has been a clear sign The Covenant aren’t the greatest for foresight. If it hadn’t been for a naive tosser’s debatably poor decision, so far tonight would have been incredibly embarrassing. ‘

Donovan: Yet Cal is still stuck in that cage as Dirge climbs through the door, no-one is doing anything! Screw this I’m outta here...

Travis – ‘Cal wouldn’t want that, you have to stay...Huh?’

Donovan: The door?...TURNCOAT!

Travis – ‘A very oput of breath Daniel Hanson has just burst through the door...’

Donovan: No, I will not give you my microphone...

Travis – ‘the match is about to get underway, and Daniel Hanson seems intent on getting a word in...’

Hanson: Cease this! The Covenant rule, they are the most impressive force in...

Donovan: Trav, I think we need to resort to another plan...

Travis – ‘’The Blessed One’ agrees, and along with The TWiSTeD Lord we’d like to thank you for joining us for this episode of Sentinel TWiSTeD, and rather than risk any ludicrous rants spoiling you’re enjoyment of the show, we’ll take you back to Nicholas Vinegar....thank you....

Hanson: NOOOOOOOO....

Vinegar: I’m back? I better still get paid for this. Ladies and Gentlemen welcome back to ringside here on Sentinel. I apologise my broadcast colleague has gone AWOL at this time, but we’re going to have to get straight into the action as the cage door is secured and Dirge and Calypso Desmona are trapped in that ring, the only way to win is to escape, and to plant both feet on the floor.

[Dirge circles Calypso who lunges for the cage and starts climbing, only for ‘The Momentum Killer’ to calmly walk across and pluck her off and put her back on her feet before laughing. This goes on a few times before Dirge bores of the game and throws Calypso across the cage and into the opposite side.]

Vinegar: Ladies and gentlemen I’m unsure whether Dirge would even try to escape given the chance, I think he wants to play with Cal...who charges...HURICANRANA! She shocks dirge, and hits a somersault legdrop on his neck, and then she lunges for the cage again and starts to climb. Dirge gets top his feet again, and this time climbs to her left, grabs her leg, and tugs her down with force.

Vinegar: He drops down to the ring again, despite the chance to win this match, and he stands over the downed Calypso with a vile smirk over his face...

[There is a commotion at the entrance ramp. As a bevy of scantily clad women show up and start to make their way down to the ring, they cause Erik and Damarest to approach them and start ushering them backstage as Dirge frowns, before looking back down at Calypso with that evil grin.]

Vinegar: WHAT THE HELL?

[From above the cage, at lightning speed Jet comes shooting down on a zip line of sorts, as he lands directly behind Dirge he quickly undoes the buckle of the harness around his waist, and before The Momentum Killer knows what all the cheers from the crowd are about, Somers has attached the harness to ‘the greater Evils’ waist, he tugs on the line, and Dirge gets raised at speed out of the ring, and then onto the arena floor outside.]

Vinegar: Dirge wins, and jet and Calypso remain in the ring, it’s somewhat of a masterstroke, and Dirge himself knows it, he looks at Jet with a glint in his eye, maybe some respect for the idea.

Dennis: Here is your Winner, DIIIIIIIIIRGE!!!!

Vinegar: It’s been a strange night here in the GIW Arena, certainly not what anyone expected and we have come to the end of the show. The Covenant once again not getting everything their way, but with one Sentinel left before ‘Dark Days’ you can be sure they’ll be determined to stamp their authority on GIW. Join us next week to see just how they intend to do so.

Hastings: VIVA LA RESISTANCE!

[T-Robosaurus Rex]

Credits

A-Kis Promo
Matt

Everything Else
T-Rob

[Alex Kiseragi]

Haha, good credits list. Seriously, got to give you huge props for putting this whole thing together yourself. You even did all the commentary in my promo too. It was a really good show and unique enough that'll likely be one people remember for a long time. On top of that it felt like a good continuation of the storyline. I think it's safe to say the best episode this side of Infinity.

The only thing I found tragic is it seems that not just A-Kis, but any character I create is liable for a torrent of homosexually based abuse. Oh well.

[T-Robosaurus Rex]

To be fair Donovan and Travis were only really aiming any homosexual undertones at Alex, not Duncan. They were suggesting Alex gave him the name Dashing, and commenting on the name of the 'Cave'.

[Jet Somers]

Wow, I am completely impressed by this show. I didn't see the hijacking of the signal coming, but it was brilliant.

Good job running pretty much the whole show yourself, man.

Looking at this show, next week the Covenant is going to wreak unholy havoc on Sentinel to get back at 'The Resistance' and establish their dominance.

Can't wait!

['The Cyclone' JK]

crap, that A-Kis promo puts a damper on what I was planning on doing with my JK character......screw it, I'll ask for it anyway.

['The Cyclone' JK]

also, have to agree with everyone else, this show, in all its minimalism, has to be one of the best shows I have seen in a while.....Reminded me of the time DX hijacked the promotional truck and started messing with everything, and of course the nWo doing that exact same thing years beforehand.......well done to take on the entire show there T-Rob =)

[Jet Somers]

Also, Donny, I see what you did there... :-D