Wrestlestock 2020 - Day 1 Chaos!

[Jet Somers]

A screen in Prixus Deimos' secluded, hidden Observation District comes to life, cutting through the blackness in which he has cocooned himself. At the ends of flexible metal arms, multiple tablet screens flash with the early morning goings-on of each district, but this one catches his attention with it's brightness, made more intense by virtue of being broadcast from one of his drones surveying the sunrise across the empty desert around Wrestlestockopolis.



Fear leans in, pushing the tablet flat and pressing his forefinger into a fingerprint scanner on the arm of the mount. The display projects itself into the air above the screen, etching out a three-dimensional relief in the empty void. Multiple red dots begin to blink on the horizon, and a dust cloud begins to billow up around them. Deimos traces a square around the dots with his middle finger, then gestures with both hands, which causes the projection to fill the room. The red dots become an armada of gunmetal gray, military grade trucks barreling across the scrubland, six abreast and six deep at least. He leans on his chin and wonders momentarily if this is the invasion force promised by XWF, or simply a display of wealth and power by... well, take your pick. There was enough ego in the Sonoran Desert today to go around twice.



With his other hand, Fear fear taps a few keys on a Bluetooth keyboard, and the drone responds by circling the trucks in an arc until it is behind them, following them toward Wrestlestockoplis. When they're within a half mile, they break formation and spread out, and it becomes obvious that a sortie of two trucks is headed for each distinct district, with the exception of The Oasis and The Ice House. Doors swing open as the trucks come to a halt, and an army of green-clad workers file around to the doors along the backs of the trucks. Hefty sets of tongs and ice hooks appear as the workers quickly begin to unload multiple four foot by four foot blocks and load them onto flatbed carts. The carts parade around the perimeters of the districts (except The Oasis and The Ice House) while the remaining workers unload massive, six foot tall fans and generators. Lastly, insulating rolls of foam and canvas are unloaded and wrapped around each of the set ups, protecting the ice blocks from melting too quickly in the desert heat while directing the cooled air into the district interiors.



Deimos can't help but chuckle at what must be the prodigious cost of cooling a district in the desert, and considers how Gabriel Baal must be eating his hat while this gift from UGWC is delivered to all districts except the ones that had provided their own air conditioning.

[Jet Somers]

.:Shaky GoPro footage:.



Off Camera: "Pepper Phoenix here, your trusty Piercing Media Network News and Rumors guru, yes, that's right, Your NuRu! I'm running the gamut through as many districts as I can before we officially begin the Wrestlestock Event at midday with the Wrestlestock Open Cup Kickoff match featuring Action Wrestling favorite Adelaide Ainsworth taking on two of the freshest free agents in the world, Andrew Logan and Ned Kaye!"



The view takes a head-spinningly sharp right into what looks like an old west frontier town, complete with wooden storefronts, horse troughs, and tumbleweeds. Somewhere, someone is tickling a piani (not a piano) to entice early arrivers.



Phoenix: "Alright folks, here we are, Revelation, Arizona, the haunted ghost town that UGWC decided to build the event around! It all starts here, and just so happens to be the birthplace of Andrew Logan, my personal pick to go all the way to the Cup itself! How fitting that the hometown hero should rise to victory right here where--"



Off Camera: "Welcome."



Another head-splitting spin before the GoPro settles on the humble visage of Alex Kiseragi.



Kiseragi: "You're a little early for the show, Pepper. Our first demonstration isn't until 9."



Phoenix: "Demonstration, right, er..."



Alex's eyes light up.



Kiseragi: "Actually, I'm glad you brought that! I have a great idea! Come with me!"



Kiseragi steps out of view for moment, and the GoPro shot shuffles a bit as he begins to lead Pepper toward the Bank. The camera turns toward a now mischievously smiling expression on the face of the Cross Hemisphere Champion. Moments later, the GoPro blanks for a moment as we're shoved into the darker interior of the bank and it struggles to adjust for the lighting change.



Kiseragi: "Ask for TJ! And, by the way, Pepper?"



One last sickening spin as the GoPro settles on Alex framed in the doorway.



Kiseragi: "Andrew Logan is from Detroit."

[Jet Somers]

Vinegar: "Good morning, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to Wrestlestock!"



Covert Jay: "HUTTAH!"



Vinegar: "We are coming to you live from The Sonoran Desert in Arizona, and the scenes that we have been blessed with this week are simply amazing!"



Lieberjosch: "Various 'districts' were set up by the start of the week, and fans from around the world have been able to enjoy just about anything they wish."



Covert Jay: "From cotton candy to unicorn carousels over in The Bubblegum District; to a drive-in movie theater and a petting zoo over in The Astro Creeps Drive-in Movie Theatre District. From kissing booths and axe throwing over in The XWF X-Treme Zone, to barbecue and beer over in The Devil's District; and let's not forget the stunning design of The Oasis, which is where I will be spending some time before this weekend is all said and done."



Lieberjosch: "As if you would be allowed in…"



Covert Jay: "Of course I will be allowed in! Edie and I are tight."



Lieberjosch: "Whatever you say, Jay."





Covert Jay is momentarily distracted when the large potted cactus near him seems to shake for no reason.



Covert Jay: Did anyone else see that?



Lieberjosch: You shouldn’t be drinking in this heat, Jay.



Vinegar: "The UGWC Chaos, UGWC Cross-Hemisphere, and UGWC World Championships will all be defended here this weekend, each in matches that will see the reigning champions at a distinct disadvantage."



Lieberjosch: "Especially Alex Kiseragi…"



Covert Jay: "I don't think he's taking on the entire world, Doc."



Vinegar: "The Hall of Fame Ceremony will kick off the last day of the event, and is always an event that fans of the UGWC enjoy seeing."



Covert Jay: "I wonder who's making it in this year?!"



Lieberjosch: "Does it even matter? The fact that you were inducted last year invalidates the entire thing."



Covert Jay: "Rude."



Vinegar: "A match involving four possible Hall of Famers closes out Day Two, as Alan Wallace and Travis Roberts take on Eden Morgan and Donovan Hastings."



Covert Jay: "I'm so confused as to who to root for…"



Vinegar: "And the Wrestlestock Open tournament is back, and bigger and better than ever this year!"





Lieberjosch: "Nicholas and I will be spending the first part of the day travelling throughout the districts and giving those who couldn't make it out to the desert a first hand experience--"





Covert Jay: "I'm going to be there too, Hans."





Lieberjosch: "Um, of course, Jay. Uh, hey, why don't you scamper off to The Oasis and sweet talk Edie into letting us in for an exclusive?





Covert Jay: "Capital idea, Hans!! HUTTAH!"





There's a puff of smoke, but it doesn't do very well in the desert humidity, and you see Jay haul ass away from the camera in the direction that would have been obscured had the trick worked like it does in Chicago.





Vinegar: You're an ass.

[Jet Somers]

.:Shaky GoPro footage:.



The fisheye effect that GoPro tends to have distorts the height of the view, but on the roof of the Revelation, Arizona bank, Pepper is still up high enough to cause a nervous tremble to the camera view. It turns out, this is not the birthplace of Andrew Logan, but is in fact part of the Hollywood Action Spectacular, specifically the Wild West Stuntacular!



Off Camera: You ready up there, Pepper?



The view inches only close enough to the edge of the roof for a guy on the ground with a clipboard and ball cap that reads 'TJ' to come into view. The view moves slightly left and right a few times.



TJ: Aw, come on, Pepper, all you have to do is stand there on the spring-loaded trap. I promise you're going to land perfectly, I do this every day in LA.



The camera moves slowly toward the back of the bank building to where the fans can't see, where a giant inflatable mat rises to nearly five feet below the roof. He notices Alex, who is checking in with some stuntmen beside the mat, dressed in dusters and cowboy hats. Alex looks up, noticing Pepper looking down at him, and gives a thumbs up.



Alex: Keep that GoPro on tight, Pepper! I want that footage from the stunt!



A whimper from Pepper can be heard as he backs away from the back of the roof. As the view slowly pans to the center of the roof, a giant X with blue painter's tape becomes evident, and the view moves forward as Pepper takes his place. A few more whimpers are heard before the GoPro moves to watch the sheriff character run out from the backstage area to interact with the crowd.

[Jet Somers]

We join Nick Vinegar and Dr. Hans of our official UGWC announce team with a portable broadcast set up around one of those old wooden four foot spools that country folks like to use for tables. They're sitting on hay bales, which seems to be making Hans very uncomfortable. In a small, sort of old-fashioned wrestling ring in front a Ferris wheel, a match is going on between several old west characters.



Vinegar: Woodrow Harrison with the tag brings Buzz in on the action, and 'Hyperspace' rushes across the ring, hitting a shoulder tackle on Porkins!



Lieberjosch: God, here he comes.



Vinegar: Who?



Covert Jay puffs up to the table.



Covert Jay: No go on The Oasis, fellows. They're fumigating as apparently Edie saw a scorpion in one of the showers.



Vinegar and Lieberjosch share a look.



Covert Jay: Are they... isn't that...?



Jay looks confused as he takes a seat and pulls on a headset over his towel.



Vinegar: Shhhhh....



Lieberjosch: These are completely original characters, Jay.



Vinegar: Buzz Armstrong with the pin on Porkins...



1...







2....











3!!!



The kids watching from hay bales around the ring cheer wildly as Harrison and Armstrong celebrate.


Once again, Covert Jay senses movement from the potted cactus that appeared next to him at the spool.



Covert Jay: Okay seriously, that thing moved! It’s closer than it was earlier today!



Vinegar: You really have problems, you know that? Just say ‘huttah’ when you’re supposed to.



Covert Jay: I know I’m in the desert but this is NOT a mirage!

[Jet Somers]

.:Shaky GoPro footage:.



The sheriff and his posse are lighting the street up by firing at the bandits from the windows and rooftop of the saloon, keeping them pinned down in the mercantile.



Head Bandit: Go set the charges, Pookie!



A bandit dressed in red breaks through the window of the mercantile, arms full of dynamite. He rushes across the alleyway and dives through the window of the bank, and the moment he's out of sight, the GoPro view looks down at the outfit Pepper is wearing.



Pepper: Wait...



It's the exact same as Pookie, down to the comically large spurs. The only difference is, Pepper's costume is ragged, frayed, and burnt around the fringes.



Pepper: Oh god...



The boom of a staged explosion accompanies the view of the GoPro suddenly flipping out, but the voice of Pepper cuts through the cacophony and confusion:

[Jet Somers]

Vinegar: Come on, this is going to be the best time to visit this district, while the day's still hot.



Lieberjosch: I don't understand why it's necessary that we visit every district.



Vinegar: We don't, but there are matches to be called, and we're the hosts, Hans.



Covert Jay: I can't wait until we get to the Imperium Sanguine District!!



Lieberjosch: Yeah, I might skip that one.



The team walks into one of the only districts not being cooled by the ice block/industrial fan system. The it looks like Arendale (post-Elsa freakout) has been invaded by superheroes. As they pass the impressively carved ice-sculpture gates into the Ice House, they are immediately greeted by Squirrel Girl, who passes them complimentary ice lollies.



Magneto: Welcome, brothers. This way, please.



He leads them to a table covered by a blue cloth with sprays of white stitching in the shape of frost patterns. Three armchairs, carved from solid blocks of ice, of course, await them.



Covert Jay: Hey, Eric, can I get a cushion? I'm not wearing anything under my gi.



Magneto: Don't test me, Jay.



He walks off as the team takes their seats. Peekatyou and Camden Carrot are already in the ring, as they are about to begin their match which had been scheduled for the fans of Konrad Raab who chose to visit the Ice House District. The crowd becomes very excited suddenly as their hero Iceman skates through the crowd on a hover board covered over by a shield of ice. A ramp has been constructed next to the ring so as to allow access to Konrad to skate up into the ring as he has an announcement to make. The small children and fans in attendance hold up their Iceman masks over their faces that they had colored themselves. Konrad takes a package from Camden Carrot. He reaches inside the bag and grabs a handful of laminated cardboard snowflakes and slings them out into the crowd. Konrad says this:



Konrad: Before we begin this match between Camden Carrot and Peekatyou, please accept this gift from myself and the SJW wrestlers. Each of those is an autograph from one of your favorite stars! Trade them, collect them, look for surprise autographs from unexpected names!



The kids, and several adults, scramble to snatch up the snowflakes.



Snot-nosed kid: I got Alan Wallace!!



Konrad: I hope that you enjoy those very much! It's all part of the hospitality of the Ice House, where we hope to make your hearts as cold as ours!



Lieberjosch: So... the cold heart thing... shouldn't it be warm heart? Like, this is a pretty family friendly area? Heartwarming?



Covert Jay: Shut up, Hans. You simply don't understand the genius that is Konrad Raab.



Konrad: Now, please give your full attention to SJW stars Camden Carrot and Peekatyou!



Konrad skates out of the ring on his hover board and slaps hands with much of crowd as he exits, pausing only to point out a Zane Scott autograph to a girl wearing cat ears.



It is now obvious to anyone paying attention that the large potted cactus is MUCH closer to Covert Jay than it has been previously throughout the broadcast.



Covert Jay: OKAY guys, come on now! This thing is practically in my lap! What’s going on



Vinegar: Can we please just focus on the show, Jay? Your conspiracy theories are getting way out of hand…



Covert Jay: LOOK AT THE CACTUS!!!

[Jet Somers]

The feed is interrupted by livestream feed from someone's phone coming up behind a familiar bald man. Ichabod turns around, looking to the right of the camera.



Ichabod: Did you get them?



The feed moves around to show Holden Orson. He drops a burlap sack on the ground in front of Ichabod.



Holden: Vinnie and Roxy were more than happy to part with them once I told them why we wanted them.



Ichabod: I expected that.



??: Scoff.



Holden raises an eyebrow at Gabriel Baal, who has just come into the frame.



Gabriel: Leave it to them to interpret this as an attack on the company we gifted to them.



Ichabod waves it off before tossing his head over his right shoulder.



Ichabod: So who is it going to be?



Holden and Gabriel look upward, and the camera follows. We're treated to the harrowing sight of an army of fifteen foot tall wicker people.



Gabriel: Williams seems the most fitting to me, as he was the inaugural cup winner.



Holden: Anyone but Marauder. It would be a dishonor to his memory. The Metal Militia was one of the most inspiring bodies of work I've ever seen.



Ichabod and Gabriel favor him with incredulous look for a moment.



Ichabod: Don't misinterpret the point of this, my friend. Hall of Fames are anathema to our brand, but for the first time in the history of the dubious memorial, UGWC has made the decision to honor progress by burning down these pillars of archaic thinking. Whoever receives our gift should be one who deserves to be raised above the rest of these dinosaurs. This will be a tribute of love, not hate.



Obvious Irish voice holding the phone: What about the one yet to be unveiled there in the back?



Gabriel: I don't think they're going to burn that one in the parade, Rogan.



Ichabod: That one doesn't deserve it, anyway.



Holden: I still can't get over you being in the head office now and like, knowing shit.



Ichabod tosses Gabriel an evil smirk.



Ichabod: Gabe had a taste of the corporate office and now he's chomping at the it to get in there again. Having me on the board gives us little opportunities like this, so don't complain.



Holden: Your mom didn't complain...



Rogan: What about Raenius?



The three men on camera look over at the Raenius effigy, which is perhaps even more terrifying than the rest, if that's possible. They share a look and all three nod. Gabriel picks up the bag and looks back toward the camera.



Gabriel: You'd better be off, then. Wouldn't do for you to get an official reprimand from Jensen, or she might cancel your appearance later.



Rogan: Aye. Good luck, lads.

[Jet Somers]

Vinegar: "Welcome back to the main ring fans!"





Covert Jay: "It's time to kick off the 2020 Wrestlestock Open Cup!!"

Lieberjosch: "Sloane Taylor emerged victorious last year, and has gone on to have a fairly successful career within the UGWC since that day. Could the winner of this year's event do similar things moving forward?"



Covert Jay: "I'm always hype for the Open! Makes it even better that an Open match is what is going to kick things off here today!"



Vinegar: "The WrestleStock Open Kickoff Match will feature three individuals that some fans of UGWC may not be familiar with, but all three individuals are extremely talented, and they will all have that talent on display here today."



Covert Jay: "Let's not waste any more time then. Mitchell is in the ring in front of us, and he's waiting for you to stop blabbing, Nick!"



Vinegar: "Take it away, Mitchell Dennis!"



Mitchell Dennis: "Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to WrestleStock! Our first official match is a triple threat match, and is the kickoff match for the WrestleStock Open Tournament!"



Covert Jay: "Crowd is already amped, guys. This is gonna be awesome!"



Mitchell Dennis: "Introducing first…"

Mitchell Dennis: "Standing five-feet two-inches tall and weighing in at one-hundred twenty-six pounds… she hails from Las Vegas, Nevada… representing Action Wrestling, ADDY A!!!!!"



The festival is bathed in a pink light as the opening bars of "Savage" by Jesswar start playing

"I'm a savage, I'm a cunt

Now all the bad bitches please move to the front

I want that ass bare, baby plump

Now all the bad bitches please move to the front"

Addy walks out to the stage in all her glory, she licks lips and plumps up her cleavage before completing a three hundred and sixty degree spin, when she faces the ring she bends over and touches the floor with one hand and slaps herself twice on the ass with her other hand.



Covert Jay: I'm a fan already!"



Addy stands up and smiles innocently and starts skipping to the ring. As the chorus kicks in, Adelaide licks her lips and picks an audience member, she grabs them by the hair and pulls their head all the way back before giving them a dirty sloppy kiss. She lets them go and slaps their face before continuing to skip along to the ring. She pulls herself onto the ring apron and does the splits to slide into the ring under the bottom rope.



Lieberjosch: "Maybe one day when UGWC lets you go, you can be that fan, Jay."



Covert Jay: "I'll have something to look forward to at least!"



Vinegar: "The road Addy had to take to this point hasn't always been a smooth one, but she has come a long way since being born into the welfare system in the western suburbs of Sydney, Australia."



Mitchell Dennis: "And her opponent…"

Mitchell Dennis: "Standing six-feet seven-inches tall and weighing in at three-hundred ten pounds… from Detroit, Michigan… ANDREW LOGAN!!!!!"



The old-school fans react as a remixed version of "Stand My Ground" by Within Temptation plays, signaling the entrance of Andrew Logan. The big man walks out of the back, looking pissed off as always as he stomps towards the ring. He steps in, moving towards the corner and stretching against the ropes, set to bring the pain to a whole new generation.



Covert Jay: "Jesus Christ…"



Lieberjosch: "I believe he is in the next match, Jay."



Covert Jay: "Touché. My statement still stands though, Doc. That is one big motherf-"



Vinegar: "Andrew is most well-known in the industry as a tag team wrestler, with he and his brother making extremely formidable foes for whoever was unlucky enough to stand across the ring from them."



Lieberjosch: "Sadly, like most brothers do eventually, the two had a massive falling out… but what the holidays loss is out gain, because we get to witness him in action here today."



Vinegar: "Andrew will be looking to further solidify himself as a successful singles wrestler, as a WrestleStock Open Cup victory tacked on to winning the Manifest Destiny 2 Tournament will drive home just how big of a threat this big man can be!"



Mitchell Dennis: "And their opponent…"

Mitchell Dennis: "He stands six-feet tall and weighs in at two-hundred eighteen pounds… 'The Notorious One'… NED KAYE!!!!!"



Ned Kaye comes walking down the ramp, his eyes focused squarely on Andrew Logan and Adelaide Ainsworth as he climbs the stairs and enters the ring.



Vinegar: "Youngster Ned Kaye was nominated for the 2019 Rookie of the Year award in the XWF, but after coming up short for the Universal Championship with his XWF career on the line, Ned has stayed out of the public eye until now."



Covert Jay: "He made a big statement in officially returning to this industry by signing up to take part in the WrestleStock Open. Imagine the statement he would make if he were to win the who thing!"



Lieberjosch: "It would make for quite the return, that is certain."



Vinegar: "We will see if the time off has led to any ring rust. The draw of being added into a triple threat match doesn't help matters."



Lieberjosch: "I disagree, Nicholas. If he stays out of harm's way, picks his spots, and allows Addy A and Andrew Logan to beat the hell out of one another, he could very well advance to the next round and exert a minimum amount of energy in doing so."



Covert Jay: "Well we're gonna find out soon enough, Doc!"



Vinegar: "UGWC official Glenn Burke is calling for the bell, and this match is officially underway!"



Covert Jay: "Addy wasting no time, as she goes right at the big fella!"



Lieberjosch: "Likely not the best strategy. Those forearms to his chest aren't even fazing Andrew Logan."



Vinegar: "Andrew suddenly grabs Addy by the face and shoves her off of him, and she hits her back and rolls up."



Covert Jay: "Now it's Ned Kaye's turn, and he immediately attacks Andrew Logan, connecting with multiple forearms to the face that are having very little effect."



Lieberjosch: "He didn't take my advice. Such a shame."



Vinegar: "Ned suddenly turns and darts towards the far ropes, returning with a shoulder block."



Covert Jay: "It was 'Notorious' that hit the mat though."



Vinegar: "Kaye back up to his feet, looking over at Addy A, who says something to him."



Covert Jay: "Apparently she's wanting to make plans with Ned. Judging from the look on his face, he must have to check his calendar to see if he has plans for next Tuesday."



Lieberjosch: "Not even close to what she just said, Jay."



Covert Jay: "Weird. Because that's what I heard."



Vinegar: "Again Addy is on the attack, connecting with forearm shots to the chest of Andrew Logan."



Lieberjosch: "And again, she is shoved halfway across the ring, strictly by her face."



Covert Jay: "Not the first time she's had something that massive in her face, I'm sure."



Lieberjosch: "Your perversions know no bounds, Jay."



Vinegar: "Kaye runs towards Logan and ducks under a clothesline. He bounds off the ropes…"



Lieberjosch: "And got a boot to the chest for his troubles."



Covert Jay: "Addy and Ned both might wanna go back to the drawing board. Because so far, what they're doing has done nothing."



Vinegar: "Adelaide now jawing at Andrew."



Covert Jay: "Now she wants to see him next Tuesday as well? Her dance card gonna be full by the end of the day."



Lieberjosch: "Imbecile."





Covert Jay is stunned to find that the cactus that has been harassing him for the entire show has somehow disappeared.



Covert Jay: "Glad someone took that darn cactus away."



Lieberjosch: "What cactus?"



Covert Jay: "ARE YOU KIDDING ME???"



Vinegar: "Addy and Kaye looking at one another now, and they nod at each other…"



Covert Jay: "And now both go on the attack, each connecting with multiple forearms to the chest and chin of Andrew Logan."



Lieberjosch: "They're going to need to band together simply to negate the sheer strength and size advantage that Andrew Logan has over both of them."



Vinegar: "They've backed Logan up against the ropes now, and both turn and head towards the far ropes. They're looking for a double clothesline…"



Covert Jay: "Logan reaches out and grabs each of them around the throat though and lifts them high into the air… double chokeslam!"



Vinegar: "Nonchalant cover from Logan onto Ainsworth, and Glenn Burke drops down to make the count."









ONE!!!!!









KICK OUT!!!!!









Vinegar: "I think even Andrew knew the match wasn't over yet. Not by a long shot."



Lieberjosch: "Most likely, but why not force Adelaide to exert the energy to kick out? It's just smart."



Covert Jay: "Logan back to his feet, easily jerking Addy up to hers. And he just chucked her through the ropes and out to the floor."



Vinegar: "Andrew focuses his attention back to Kaye, walking over and pulling him to his feet. He whips him across the ring, and Kaye slams hard into the corner."



Lieberjosch: "Logan following close behind though, and engulfs him in the corner with a running avalanche."



Covert Jay: "For as big as he is, that dude can move!"



Vinegar: "Andrew mercilessly pummeling Ned Kaye with back elbows in the corner now, as the crowd counts along up to ten."



Lieberjosch: "Logan bending at the waist and grabbing the middle ropes, and begins connecting with shoulder thrust after shoulder thrust."



Vinegar: "Logan stands straight back up again, and easily lifts Kaye up onto his shoulder. He turns and heads towards the middle of the ring, and plants 'Notorious' Ned Kaye with a running powerslam. He hooks the leg!"









ONE!!!!!









TWO!!!!!









KICK OUT!!!!!









Vinegar: "Near fall by Andrew Logan, but Ned Kaye manages to get his shoulder up at two."



Covert Jay: "Logan better watch out for Addy… she's climbed to the top rope!"



Lieberjosch: "Andrew Logan rises back to his feet and turns around, and Adelaide has already taken flight with a cross-body."



Covert Jay: "Well… that didn't turn out as she had hoped."



Vinegar: "Addy A attempted a cross-body block, but Andrew Logan caught her in mid-air, and then immediately deposited her overhead with a fallaway slam."



Lieberjosch: "Ned Kaye rolled out under the bottom rope, and is using the ropes to pull himself to his feet out on the ring apron."



Covert Jay: "Runaway beer truck!"



Vinegar: "Andrew Logan eyes Kaye for a split second, before taking off towards him. He connects with a big boot to Ned Kaye, and Kaye sails through the air and crashes against the steel guardrail."



Lieberjosch: "The crowd doesn't seem to care for what's going on right now, but quite frankly, I like what I'm seeing from Andrew Logan right now. The man is on a mission, and he is systematically taking both Adelaide Ainsworth and Ned Kaye apart right now."



Covert Jay: "And he seems to be doing it with ease, Doc."



Vinegar: "Logan back over to Addy A and pulls her to her feet. Release German suplex, and she just flew three-quarters of the way across the ring."



Lieberjosch: "Logan stalking over to Ainsworth now and ripping her back to her feet. He lifts her up into a gorilla press position, and begins walking around the ring."



Covert Jay: "Fans seem to be getting a little uncomfortable right now. This has simply been a mugging."



Vinegar: "Andrew over towards the corner, and just drops her face-first into the turnbuckle with a snake eyes."



Lieberjosch: "Logan turns and heads towards the far ropes, as Ainsworth stumbles around holding her face, and he just turned her inside-out with a running big boot."



Covert Jay: "The big man drops to his knees and rolls her over onto her back and makes the cover!"









ONE!!!!!



















TWO!!!!!





























THRE-NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!









Vinegar: "Somehow, Ned Kaye has made it back into the ring, and he was able to connect with a diving double axhandle to the back of Andrew's head, breaking up the count."



Covert Jay: "And Andy does not look happy."



Vinegar: "Andrew tackles Ned to the ground, and then begins pummeling him with stiff right hands."



Covert Jay: "Kaye's face might as well be a punching bag at this point, because that's what Andrew is treating it as.



Vinegar: "Andrew to his feet, reaching down and grabbing Ned by the hair. He yanks him up to his feet, and then runs him towards the ropes, pitching Kaye over the top rope."



Covert Jay: "And he hit hard, Nick."



Lieberjosch: "Logan just slingshot himself over the top rope, landing on his feet out on the floor. This does not bode well for Ned Kaye."



Vinegar: "Kaye doing his best to crawl away from Andrew, but he isn't fairing very well at it."



Covert Jay: "Logan pulls Kaye to his feet and then lifts him up onto his shoulder. He's eyeballing the ring post over this way, guys!"



Vinegar: "Andrew Logan takes off running, looking to use Ned Kaye as a human lawn dart! But Kaye wiggles loose and lands behind Andrew…"



Lieberjosch: "And Ned Kay just rammed the head of Andrew Logan off the steel ring post."



Covert Jay: "Jesus Christ."



Lieberjosch: "That's right, Jay. Logan is still on his feet!"



Vinegar: "Andrew slowly turning towards Kaye, who is rightly backing away right now."



Lieberjosch: "Wouldn't you be?"



Covert Jay: "I know I would be!"



Lieberjosch: "Yes, Jay. We know."



Vinegar: "Andrew takes off towards Ned, but 'Notorious' just executed a drop toe hold, and the face of Andrew Logan rams into the ring steps!"



Lieberjosch: "Watch out for Adelaide!"



Covert Jay: "'Illslutrious' is out on the ring apron, smiling down at Logan. And she just curb stomped him on the ring steps!"



Lieberjosch: "Well, that's one way to negate his size and strength advantage."



Covert Jay: "Mofo can't fight if he's unconscious!"



Vinegar: "Kaye looks up at Addy and smiles, and she returns the favor."



Covert Jay: "And then she jumped and spiked him into the ground with a tornado DDT."



Vinegar: "Addy A pulling Ned Kaye to his feet and shoves him under the bottom rope, and back into the ring. She slides in after him and covers him."









ONE!!!!!



















TWO!!!!!





























TH-KICK OUT!!!!!









Vinegar: "Kaye kicks out at two-and-a-half, and this match continues!"



Lieberjosch: "Kaye onto his stomach now, crawling towards the corner. He's attempting to pull himself to his feet by using the ropes, but Adelaide puts a stop to that with multiple kicks and stomps, and now Ned Kaye is down in the corner."



Vinegar: "Addy takes off towards the adjacent corner, before pointing at Kaye and licking her lips. And now she runs towards him."



Covert Jay: "Bronco buster! And I bet he's loving every minute of it! She's riding his face for everything it's worth!"



Lieberjosch: "Hope there isn't a Mrs. Kaye around."



Vinegar: "Back to her feet, Addy grabs the leg of Ned and pulls him out of the corner. She mounts him and begins punching and slapping with both hands."



Lieberjosch: "She scurries back to her feet now, but then connects with the Aussie Kiss!"



Covert Jay: "Glenn Burke drops for the count!"









ONE!!!!!



















TWO!!!!!





























T-KICK OUT!!!!!









Vinegar: "Ned Kaye gets the shoulder up, and we are still trying to determine which of these individuals will be the first to punch their ticket to the second round of the Open tournament."



Lieberjosch: "Kaye struggling to get to his feet, but finally does, and Adelaide lands a kick to the stomach that doubles him over."



Vinegar: "Side headlock applied, and now Addy A is connecting with vicious knees to the face of Ned Kaye. Time after time after time, she is landing those shots."



Covert Jay: "She can dish some punishment out to me any day."



Lieberjosch: "She'd hurt you, boy."



Vinegar: "Addy release the headlock and takes off towards the ropes… spinning heel kick, and Kaye is back down on the mat!"



Lieberjosch: "Kaye back up, and in comes Adelaide with a cross-body."



Covert Jay: "Kaye was able to counter though, and just stopped her momentum with a perfectly executed tilt-a-whirl backbreaker!"



Vinegar: "Kaye wobbly as he makes his way back to his feet, and Addy is reaching for the small of her back as she gets to hers."



Lieberjosch: "Superkick!"



Vinegar: "Ned Kaye caught Addy flush with that superkick, and he collapses on top of her."









ONE!!!!!



















TWO!!!!!





























THRE-NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!









Vinegar: "Addy A just barely got her shoulder up before Glenn Burke's hand slapped the mat for the third time."



Lieberjosch: "Ned Kaye is spent, and has absorbed a lot of punishment. So, while I cannot find fault with him, his inability to hook the leg hurt him there."



Vinegar: "Both Kaye and Addy working their way to their feet, and Addy A swings wildly at Kaye, who ducks the punch before sending her back to the mat with a Russian leg sweep."



Lieberjosch: "Adelaide holding the back of her head as she slowly works her way back to her feet, but Kaye sends her right back down with a standing dropkick."



Covert Jay: "Ned looks like he's beginning to feel it. The crowd is pumping him up, and he's out on the ring apron and climbing up to the top rope."



Vinegar: "Ned Kaye jumps from the top ropes, and connects with a double foot stomp."



Covert Jay: "NO! Not the girls!"



Vinegar: "Kaye makes the cover, hooking the leg this time."









ONE!!!!!



















TWO!!!!!





























THREE-NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!









Vinegar: "Ned Kaye has this match won, but Addy A was able to reach out and grab the bottom rope at the last possible second."



Lieberjosch: "Had Glenn Burke not been in the perfect position, he never sees that."



Vinegar: "Kaye rises to his feet and steps through the ropes, out to the ring apron. He's yelling at Addy to get up."



Covert Jay: "Addy finally back up and turns towards him, just as Ned makes his move. The Disciplinary Action!"



Vinegar: "And Glenn Burke is there to make the count!"









ONE!!!!!



















TWO!!!!!





























THRE-KICK OUT!!!!!









Lieberjosch: "A last-second kickout by Adelaide Ainsworth!"



Vinegar: "Ned Kaye is beside himself right now, but he still focuses on Addy A. He pulls her back to her feet and sends her to the ropes…"



Covert Jay: "Running double-knee strike, and Addy took that one to the face hard."



Lieberjosch: "Jay…"



Vinegar: "Ned Kaye is full of confidence as he slowly makes his way back to his feet."



Lieberjosch: "He should turn around then."



Covert Jay: "And he does… and he looks like he's seen a ghost."



Vinegar: "Andrew Logan is standing right in front of him, and he just wrapped his big paw around the throat of Ned Kaye."



Covert Jay: Ned's eyes damn near bulging out of his head."



Lieberjosch: "Kaye with a straight kick to the knee of Logan, and Andrew release his grip."



Vinegar: "Ned Kaye really laying into Andrew Logan with chops, punches, and kicks…"



Covert Jay: "Spinning back fist!"



Vinegar: "And that blow staggered Andrew Logan. Ned Kaye turns and heads towards the ropes, and he connects with the Notorious Knee!"



Lieberjosch: "Ned Kaye caught him with all of that one, but Logan is still on his feet."



Vinegar: "Kaye heads to the ropes going for another Notorious Knee, but Logan strikes him down with a running bicycle kick."



Covert Jay: "How this big guy moves in the ring is unbelievable."



Vinegar: "Addy A is still down on the mat… Ned Kaye is wondering what bus he just ran into… and Andrew Logan is still dazed and feeling the effects from having his head driven into the ring post and the ring steps fifteen minutes ago."



Lieberjosch: "The curb stomp on the steps would have ended the day of an ordinary man, but I think we all know that Andrew Logan is no ordinary man."



Vinegar: "Logan makes his way over to Kaye and pulls him to his feet. He shoots him off towards the ropes…"



Lieberjosch: "Breakdown by Andrew Logan, and he has lifted him back into the air and taken off across the ring…"



Covert Jay: "Denial!"



Vinegar: "Andrew Logan just connected with his patented tilt-a-whirl backbreaker, and then followed things up with a turnbuckle powerbomb."



Covert Jay: "Addy back to her feet!"



Lieberjosch: "And she is stomping right up behind Andrew Logan."



Vinegar: "Logan has quickly turned, having heard her coming up from behind. And Addy A decides she wants no parts of him right now."



Lieberjosch: "Adelaide attempted to turn and run, but Logan reached out and grabbed a handful of hair, and is now whispering something into her ear."



Covert Jay: "The look of panic in Addy's eyes… if I weren't a Hall of Famer, I would go in there and tell Logan about himself right about now."



Lieberjosch: "Sure you would, Jay."



Vinegar: "Is… is Addy doing what I think she's doing."



Lieberjosch: "Well, it looks like she is… gyrating into Logan's pelvic region. If that is what you think she is doing, then yes, it appears so."



Covert Jay: "I knew I should have gotten in the ring…"



Vinegar: "Logan has released is grip on her hair, as he looks at her wondering what it is that she thinks she’s doing."



Covert Jay: "She just bent over and started smacking her own ass. She just bent over and started smacking her own ass!"



Lieberjosch: "Calm yourself, Jay!"



Vinegar: "Addy stands back up now, and begins throwing her hips back against Andrew Logan again."



Lieberjosch: "This is rather uncomfortable. Even Glenn Burke had to turn and look away-"



Covert Jay: "Quick back-kick by Addy A, and she connected directly with 'Lil' Logan'!"



Vinegar: "Andrew Logan is in serious pain right now, holding himself as he slowly makes his way over to the ropes."



Lieberjosch: "Burke looking on like an imbecile, wondering what just happened. I always knew he was useless."



Vinegar: "A running knee lift catches Logan in the leg and hip, but the force of the blow is enough to knock him through the ropes."



Covert Jay: "Yeah, he hit the floor hard as hell, but he's still in some serious pain from being nutted by 'Illslutrious'."



Vinegar: "Addy A now turning her attention back to Ned Kaye, who is just starting to get back to his feet after that buckle bomb."



Covert Jay: "Heartless by Addy! And she kicked Ned Kaye right in the center of the chest!"



Lieberjosch: "Whoregasm!"



Vinegar: "And Burke drops down to count!"









ONE!!!!!





























TWO!!!!!







































THREE!!!!!









Mitchell Dennis: "Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of this match… and advancing to the second round of the WrestleStock Open tournament… ADDDDELAAAAAIIDDEEEEEE AINNNNNNNNSSSSWOOOORRRRRRTH!!!!!"



Vinegar: "This match could have gone in any direction, guys. Each of the three had their fair share of opportunities to win this match and advance, but in the end, only one could do just that."



Covert Jay: "And her name is Addy A, bitches!"





The cactus is back, and it is closer than ever. Covert Jay is doing his best to not look directly at it or pay it any attention, but it’s close enough that he can’t move his arm much without the threat of getting pricked.



Finally, it happens. Jay’s arm brushes against the cactus and he loses it, standing up and shouting.



Covert Jay: "OUCH! That’s ENOUGH! Why is this STUPID CACTUS back and why is it right next to me!?"



Vinegar: "Jeez, Jay, try to calm down…"



Covert Jay: "I will NOT calm down! There is obviously something going on here, SOMETHING IS AFOOT I SAY!"



It is at that moment that the cactus pops out of its large clay pot and falls to the ground next to the announce booth. From underneath of it, a spandex clad midget in a bright red mask leaps out onto the desk, grabbing a microphone from Jay and screaming.



“WRESTLESTOCKS! YOU HAVE BEEN INVADED BY THE SOVEREIGN EMPIRE OF MINI MOBIDONIA!!! I HAVE COME TO THE HELLISH SANDS OF ARIZONA TO FOLLOW THROUGH ON MY PROMISE TO VANQUISH THE ALLEGED VALIANT KNIGHTS, SERS BOBBY AND ALEX!!!”



Vinegar: "Aw, look at the little guy! He doesn’t like Angie’s cats? Why not?”"



The midget swats at Vinegar’s face, barely missing.



“DO NOT AWWWWWW ME, PLEBEIAN! YOU WOULD BE BUT A PEASANT IN MY KINGDOM!!! A LABORER TO BRING GRAPES AND WINES TO MY BEDROOM WHERE I WOULD LAY WITH YOUR WIFE AND DAUGHTERS FOR MY OWN PLEASURES!!!”



The midget hops off of the table and walks toward an open area.



“I AM THE GREAT MINI MORBID, DESCENDED FROM THE SLAYER OF THE CHARYBDIS! PROGENITOR OF THOUSANDS! MY SEED HAS GENERATED ARMIES! MY BLOOD HAS COURSED THROUGH THE VEINS OF CONQUERORS!!! I DEMAND YOU APPROACH ME, BOBBY AND ALEX, AND FIGHT FOR YOUR HONOR!!!”



Mini Morbid pounds his bare chest with his boxing-gloved hands. He then turns with his arms in the air so that all may see his RIPPED and GLISTENING torso.



“ARE THEE COWARDS, O FELINE KNIGHTS OF THE ROUND!? ARE YOU FORFEITING YOUR BANNERS AND BOWING BEFORE THE GREATNESS THAT IS MINI MORBID!?!?!?!?”



A cat arrives. Not Alex or Bobby, but some feral, stray cat that looks like it has not eaten all day.



“WHO IS THIS!? AN IMPOSTER!?!?”



The cat pounces. Mini Morbid screeches as its claws pierce his skin, and he is knocked onto his back with his limbs pinned down while the cat aggressively gnaws on his head.



“UNHAND ME HEATHEN!!! I WILL RAIN DOWN THUNDER AND DEATH UPON YOUR HOUSE!!! I WILL SOIL YOUR HOME AND HAVE MY WAY WITH YOUR WOMEN!!!”



The cat bats Mini around like a captured mouse.



“THIS IS BLASPHEMY!!! I AM A GOD!!! I AM A WARRIOR-KING OF THE FIRST ORDER!!! YOU ARE GUARANTEEING AN AFTERLIFE OF FLAYING AND FIRE!!!”



The cat then bites down on Mini Morbid’s backside and drags him off screen.



Covert Jay: "Well. That happened"



Vinegar: "Please enjoy your afternoon at the festival, folks! We have a few more districts to visit, but join us back here at the main ring at sunset. Tempest will defend his UGWC Chaos Championship against Sloane Taylor and JC!"

[Jet Somers]

UGWC PRESENTS

KOBAYASHI MARU

AUGUST 8TH, 2020

-YOU CAN'T WIN-

[Jet Somers]

Nicholas Vinegar is rushing through Wrestlestockopolis, the cameraman doing an admirable job of running backwards to keep the announcer's face in frame.



Vinegar: Covert Jay has been taken prisoner....



He huffs and puffs as they take a right turn.



Vinegar: Seems the Imperium did not take kindly to a 'spy' popping in and out during their Youth League match. Someone said the word 'gulag' and Hans and I fled.



Vinegar stumbles, barely keeping his feet as he nearly tumbles ass over heels. He pauses to get his bearings.



Vinegar: Hans' entered himself in Danny Dilbert's commentary contest, and wound up starting a brawl when he pointed out the flaws in British technical style, as documented in his third treatise on "Why British Wrestlers are the Worst." He's currently being helped in a medical tent.



Vinegar looks around himself.



Vinegar: Now I've got to get back to the main ring before the Chaos Championship match starts, and I'm not sure where I am.



Cameraman: We're in ||||||| }{ }_{ ^}{

Vinegar's face pales. 

Vinegar: Oh no. 

• The camera pans out, and reveals that Vinegar is but a wee slip of a person when compared to the towering sidewalk.
  
  
  
  Vinegar: Inconscrutable interruptions of text. Reality warping. Alternating font colors..

..

90 foot	Blue
Cartoon	Bear

...wearing a fez foats down on a flying carpet and adjust's it's monocle.



Err Bear: Perhaps you would join me in perusing the selection of tender lumplings?



Vinegar: W-what?



Err Bear: RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWR!!!!!

[Jet Somers]

As the edge of the sun touches the horizon in the distance, casting an orange glow over Wrestlestockopolis, the green-clad workers who had appeared at dawn re-emerge and surround the districts. The day has cooled by some degrees, though the baked in heat still rising from the sand. The ice blocks finally melted away over the last hour, and the workers now turn the fans outward toward the desert, angling them so that the heavy drafts they produce begin to create a circular draft around the perimeter of the city. Lighter bits of sand and grit shake loose and swirl, bumping and scraping against the dunes that had inevitably risen as hundreds of pounds of detritus was swept out of the area in preparation for the event weeks ago.



From out of the sunset, as if summoned by the spirit of Michael Bay himself, a fleet of twelve helicopters soars from the west in a V-formation. They fly over the city in a figure eight for a few minutes before breaking apart to settle around the edges of the city, allowing their rotors to add to escalate the tempest of sand.



The workers flip toggles on generators, cranking the power of the blades beyond any workload they've ever experienced, and soon Wrestlestockopolis has become the eye of a maelstrom of sand. The last rays of sun are blotted out by the funnel, and lights quickly come on in the districts, their various colors further defining and delineating them from one another. Spotlights cut through the night air over the city, projecting live images of the main ring against the undulating, flowing backdrop of sand.

Loudspeakers broadcast the roar of the crowd that has gathered around the ring with no security barrier. Anyone in any district can now view the events of the main event as they unfold, but the lucky hundreds surrounding the ring suddenly increase their pitch and volume as music hits.

The crowd parts, with the help of security, to allow interim Creative Director Victoria Jensen to make her way out to the ring. She gives the crowd a moment to calm down before addressing them.



Vix: How are you enjoying Wrestlestock?



An eruption of grateful, excited cheers is the response.



Vix: And how about Adelaide Ainsworth, the first to advance in the Wrestlestock Cup?



The second half of her sentence is almost completely drowned out as approval for the "Ilslutrious" Addy A echoes and reverberates through the loudspeakers.



Vix: It's been an excellent first day here in Wrestlestockopolis, and we're only getting started. Tonight, we'll be closing out the evening with the UGWC Chaos Championship match, and it's going to be unlike anything you've seen before! Please welcome the first challenger, former Cooperative Champion and current Wrestlestock Cup Champion for three more days, The Bubblegum Princess Sloane Taylor!!

Multi-color lights flash over the crowd settling on pink, Sloane emerging into the crowd full of energy and all smiles. The security team is earning their salary as she greets the crowd, slapping hands and posing for quick selfies with the fans before rushing the ring. Sloane slides in under the bottom rope and springs to her feet, dancing around the ring and playing to the crowd, hyping them until her music ends.



Vix: Welcome Sloane! Now listen, you've got a Cross Hemisphere Championship match in two days; another unknown match, with unknown rules and possibly some unknown competitors. Before we bring out your opponents and announce tonight's contest, I have to make sure my conscience is one hundred percent clear. Are you absolutely certain that you want to do this tonight?



Sloane: I've never been more certain of anything in my life. Well... except maybe entering the Wrestlestock Open in 2019, and look how that turned out?



She gives the camera a pointed wink and the crowd absolutely eats it up. Even as the cheers die down, you can still hear the whoops and whistles drifting in from the Bubblegum District.



Vix: The UGWC has a long and storied history with Carnage Wrestling, you might call it our sister company.



The crowd agrees as signs and t-shirts wave around highlighting superstars from CW past and present.



Vix: It's practically unheard of for either company to host a tournament without multiple guest appearances from the other, and this year we're privileged to welcome arguably the most recognized competitor in Carnage Wrestling history. He's had epic feuds with legendary names like Jesse Williams, as well as Entertainment Professionals near and dear to our hearts like Jet Somers...



Vix pauses for a cheap pop for her favorite competitor.



Vix: He's a four time World Heavyweight Champion amongst countless other championships, and already belongs to the ICW Hall of Fame, and is sure to add multiple others to that list, please welcome the legend, the legacy, THE ANSWER JC!!



The lights go out, bathing the crowd in darkness except for a familiar dark shade of blue. The first notes of a song begin to play, causing the arena lights to flash and the assembled fans to sway as they join the choiral background singing, before a voice cries out in the arena.



"I'M FINALLY HOLDING ON TO LETTING GO"

"Unsainted" by Slipknot kicks in and blue pyro blasts from the around the crowd. The fans roar and sing along with the song, and JC comes out wearing his trenchcoat, staring out at the audience. Lights start to flash in the arena as he makes his way to the ring to the sounds of the chorus.



JC slides into the ring and climbs up on the middle rope of the side with the hard camera, raising his arms up and down to try to pump up the crowd. Being this close to the action, the crowd moves like a wave in time with him, absolutely entranced by this legend. He jumps down and walks over to the same side before doing the same thing, bringing the crowd to a fever pitch. JC then moves to a corner and tosses his trenchcoat to the outside before stretching before the match.



Vix: Way to get the crowd hyped, JC, we're honored to have you! Now two weeks ago you told the UGWC fans that you intended to claim this opportunity because you deserved it. Care to remind us why?



JC: I told you before, if even if I didn't win the chance to Main Event this event in this godforsaken desert, I more than proved I deserve to take the Chaos Championship from Tempest after I dumped him at Massive Melee, and if you need any further proof, don't forget that I led the field with eliminations this year. I have every right to decide which Championship I claim next, and I've decided I'm leaving tonight as the new UGWC Chaos Champion.



Vix: The crowd certainly seems to agree, and what can I expect but a perfect answer from The Answer!



JC rolls his eyes.



Vix: Ok! Now, ladies and gentlemen, please join me in welcoming one of UGWC's most exciting young breakout stars, in less than a year he has established an impressive reign as your Chaos Champion, a well as proven himself over and over against other champions. He represents The Astro-Creeps, and is your reigning, defending, and undefeated UGWC Chaos Champion, Tempest!!

The opening riff for ‘My name is human’ plays as the lights dim and blue laser lights rotate around the crowd. A fog drifts down the alleys between districts, seeming to emanate from the AstroCreeps Drive In Theatre District until it washes over the crowd surrounding the main ring. The song changes pace as the lead singer says simply, “OK.” Daedalus, Tempest’s manager, emerges into one of the three spotlights in the crowd, a dark grin on his face. Next is Ny-Otep, the group’s enforcer, who steps into the other spotlight that flanks the empty spotlight in the middle. As the lead singer begins to sing the first verse, Tempest steps into the final spotlight. Daedalus and Ny-Otep move their eyes to the ground as Tempest scans his surroundings. Once the chorus hits, all three men walk towards the ring. On some of the projection-lit sections of the dust cloud, clips of the three men standing in various ‘horror’ spots like cemeteries and basements alternate with the words “My name is human” with ‘human’ crossed out and ‘Tempest’ replacing it. Once they get to the ring, Daedalus enters first, sitting on the middle rope to let Tempest enter next. Finally, Ny-Otep enters by stepping over the top rope. Daedalus poses next to Tempest in the middle and the enforcer stalks his way behind the two men, towering over them and glaring out at the crowd.



Drones circle high above the ring, capturing the Creeps in the midst of Taylor, JC, Jensen, and the crowd, drifting further and further out until they're just inside the spinning cloud, before cutting back to a close up.



Vix: Wow, Tempest, no one can ever claim you don't know how to make a statement. That being said, as you inch closer to one hundred days as Chaos Champion, and approach historic reigns such as those of Killian King, Ezekiel Pax, and Dante Picante, do you have a statement you wish to make to your opponents about how tonight is going to shape up?



Tempest leans in to the mic, pausing before speaking to fix JC and Sloane with a Kubrick gaze.



Tempest: Listen to them...



He sweeps his right arm out in a wide arc, indicating the assembled crowd.



Tempest: The children of the night. What music they make.



He leans back up and closes his eyes, spreading his arms as the crowd indeed supplies the soundtrack for their champion:



Crowd: Hello, my name is human

Hello, my name is human

Hello, my name is human

Hello, my name is human



Tempest smiles, then lowers his head and opens his eyes as he drops his arms.



Vix: They're certainly behind you. Now, I want to introduce one more special guest, who will join us tonight to explain the rules. He's an icon of the division, and the very concept of Chaos. Please welcome former UGWC World Champion, The Engine of Cthulu, Rogan MacLean!

The opening chords to "Ridicule" by American Head Charge plays softly as the lights dim, silver and red spotlights alternating from portions of the crowd to the ring. The frontman opens up, murmuring the opening lyrics as a sort of chant. As the chant crescendos, a guitar riff cuts in, then the only thing heard is the frontman's chants with no music behind them:



"All my needs giving in. Blow me a kiss and leave me to the DOGS"



Rogan steps from the crowd and spreads his arms, walking through the first silver spotlight and making his way to the red spotlight. The lyrics to the first verse intensify, and Rogan's determined stare towards the ring intensifies as well. He climbs to the apron and turns, bringing his hands up in a single swipe, with his fingers in the shape of scissors, closing his fingers as if cutting invisible strings. He takes a moment to look around at the fans before climbing through the ropes and stepping into the middle of the ring. He takes in the atmosphere again, then kneels to one knee, placing a single palm down on the canvas, showing respect for the ring and division in which he competed.



If the city had been under the dome, it would have been blown off by the decorated Champion's entrance.



Vix: Thank you for being here, Rogan. Would you do the honor of explaining tonight's rules?



Rogan: Aye, it would be my pleasure. We've combined two popular extreme-versions of playground games to create this year's Wrestlestock Chaos Main Event. The first is Extreme Tag! Tempest here is being fitted with a replica UGWC Chaos Championship with a breakaway buckle. With a hard enough tug, the belt will come loose, and the tagger will become the new target once they have fixed the belt around they're own waist. The target can run anywhere they like within Wrestlestockopolis to avoid being tagged... except for one catch: the other game we've incorporated.



Rogan pauses for effect before continuing, and the crowd seems excited and interested.



Vix: It's a bit like Running Man, right?



Rogan winks at her.



Rogan: Good on ya for getting that reference, eh Vix? Anyway, it's going to be Chaos Rules as far as the fighting goes, but we'll have a one hour time limit, and whoever is wearing the belt when time runs out will be your UGWC Chaos Champion! If no one is wearing it at that moment, the person who has amassed the most tags will be the winner!



The crowd pops as officials enter the ring to begin trade Tempest's real belt for the replica. He holds it in front of him and whispers to it.



Tempest: See you soon.



Vix: Rogan, what about the second game we've incorporated?



Rogan: Ah yes. If at any point you touch the ground, officials will sound a whistle and you'll be forced to remain where you are for ten seconds, because the Floor is Lava!



The crowd gives a huge pop as the bell rings, and Tempest immediately stage dives over the top ropes. The crowd catches him and he surfs away. Seeing this, Sloane leaps onto the ropes and turns around to fall backward into the crowd in the same direction, and the fans oblige her. JC scans them, then climbs up on the turnbuckle himself. He leaps mightily out over Sloane, bringing a diving clothesine down on the chest of Tempest, collapsing the fans underneath them.



Rogan: I may have forgotten to mention there might be surprise taggers in the mix tonight...



Officials crowd around, watching carefully as they're nearing the edge of the wooden dias on which the ring was built. Sloane dashes over as they grapple, and reaches in to pluck the belt and give a hard yank. She wraps it around herself and leaps up onto a fan's shoulders, leaping up to grab the crane camera as it swings over the crowd. Her momentum causes it to spin around wildly, and JC and Tempest come to their feet in time to watch her drop off and land on the roof of the refreshment tents along the edge of the main area.



Tags:

Sloane - 1



JC begins methodically shoving and knocking people down so that he can step across them and avoid touching the ground. Tempest is employing a similar tactic, except he's beckoning for volunteers. Neither wants to be the first to be ordered to remain in place for ten precious seconds as the belt gets further away.



'The Answer' has managed to forcefully build a human walkway from the ring to the medical tent, where he yanks one of the aluminum poles loose that was holding up a corner of the canvas, and tears it away. Tempest has managed to get the fans to pose in successively higher poses until he can stair-step his way up to the top of the food tents a few yards behind Sloane.



JC measures the distance, then launches the pole like a javelin. Sloane, looking over her shoulder to where Tempest has given chase behind her, doesn't see the pole coming and it tangles in her legs, sending her spilling to the desert floor. Officials surround her, blowing their whistles and keeping her from fleeing. JC slings the table from the tent, letting it land upside down and giving him a path that brings him closer to where Sloane is being detained. He hooks a couple of cases of water bottles under his arms and leaps onto the table.



His momentum causes the table to slide across the sand, and gets him close enough for Tempest to swing down fro one of the struts of the drink stand and aim a thrust kick at JC's head. JC drops the water cases and stumbles back into a sitting position on the table just as the officials move away from Sloane. She leaps onto the table just as Tempest lands, and the three of them brawl it out for a few minutes on the base of the table.



Sloane hits Tempest with a discuss elbow, but JC immediately grabs her in a snap suplex that bends the legs on one of the table outward. Tempest hits JC with a spinning heel kick, but as JC staggers over on all fours, he grabs up one of the cases of bottled water and clobbers Tempest with it. Tempest falls over the other set of table legs and gets tangled in them momentarily, giving JC the opportunity to reach down and snap the replica belt loose from Sloane and wrap it around himself. He picks up the other case of water, then steps on the one he clobbered the champion with, then tosses the second one out and uses it as a stepping stone to climb up onto the barrier to the Piercing Media District and disappear among the buildings.



Tags:

Sloane - 1

JC - 1



Sloane gets to her feet first, spying Tempest still trying to untangle himself, and she grabs the bent legs that she recent impacted, plants her feet against the other side of the table, and rocks backward a few times until the table rocks up on it's side. This effectively places Tempest in contact with the desert floor, causing him to be surrounded by whistle-blowing officials while she grips hard to remain perched on the edge of the table in the air. She throws herself from here to the water bottles, and uses the ten seconds she has to follow behind where JC has just escaped!

[Jet Somers]

The cameras spot JC making his way through the various replica sets in the Piercing Media District for television shows the Network has produced over the years. He pauses on the set of Ashamed Unthroned, scanning the Truthites that are perusing the district. He senses something is coming and spins around.



Captain 80s: AHOOOOOOOY!!!



A hole bursts through the wall and the Captain goes to step through, reaching his powerful, pulsating arms toward the replica belt around JC's waist, but he trips over a beam in the lower part of the wall, smacking his head on the ground hard enough to make his headband come off. He gets to his knees, attempting to retie the headband around his head. Out of nowhere, Sloane springs through the hole in the wall and performs a handspring back elbow off Cap's back and into JC. They crash into a booth filled with "Jet Somers is Shit" and "Travis is a Pierce of Shit" T-shirts.



Sloane comes to her feet with one of the t-shirts wrapped around JC's neck. He digs his fingers into the cloth to keep it from choking him out, but Sloane begins to backpedal. She drags JC through a doorway into a throne room, where sits the Golden Throne. Its a mock-up of the Iron Throne, created from replicas of all the championships Jet, Travis, and Eden had won during their time in the PMN, arranged to take the place of the swords. The Bubblegum Princess steps up onto it backward, then hops over it, wedging the edges of the cloth between Eden's World Championship and Travis's on one end, and TPW's second set of Cooperative Championships.



As Sloane comes around the front of the Throne, Gian Jones appears in the doorway, rushing over grab the belt.



SILVER LINING ON GIAN JONES!



Sloane snatches the belt from around JC's waist and rushes out the door.



Tags:

Sloane - 2

JC - 1



Sloane opts for the high road again, this time climbing up onto the studio lights over a Piercing Truth sound stage. She doesn't notice that Tempest has arrived, and as she runs across the top of the rigging, he's underneath, going hand over hand like he's on the monkey bars in the opposite direction. Sloane braces herself to leap down onto the barricade at the edge of the district, but Tempest reaches up and grabs her by the ankle, causing her to spill over the side of the rigging. There's a gasp from the crowd as she starts to plummet, but manages to twist around, getting her foot into some lighting wires and preventing a nasty fall.



As Sloane dangles upside down by one leg, Tempest reaches out for the belt, but Sloane aims a kick with her free leg, knocking his hand away. He makes another attempt, and another, but Sloane is quicker and manages to keep him at bay. After a fourth try, he grabs her foot and shoves it into one of the lights. The glass breaks and a crackle of electricity from it shorting out rattles Sloane as sparks rain down. Lucky for Tempest, her bare skin isn't touching the rigging or that would have fried him as well! As she goes limp, he reaches out and takes the belt, gripping it in his teeth so his hands are free to scale up to the top of the rigging. Tempest hops down onto the district barricade and motions for a couple of fans to come over and carry him to the other side, where he disappears into the Boris Slavic Festival.



Tags:

Sloane - 2

JC - 1

Tempest - 1

[Jet Somers]

Surrounded by deep hitting bass beats, JC enters the Boris Slavic Festival and immediately notices that the streets are cobbled, which prevents him from touching the desert floor by mistake. He rubs his bruised neck before popping it and looking around for Tempest. His eyes land on a Baba Yaga hut raised fifteen feet above the streets on great chicken legs. Knowing what he knows of Tempest, he can't help but assume that would be the place Tempest would most likely gravitate to. He sees a Russian Killers museum and grabs the climbing gear from te Alexander Solonik display.



JC casts the grappling hook up and catches onto a window box planter full of vines, then rapidly climbs the rope. He kicks in the window and climbs inside. Tempest stands on a table covered in dishes filled with... well, use your imagination. This is the home of a Russian witch hag.



Tempest goes to dive off the table toward JC, who throws a boot up catching Tempest in the midsection. Tempest hits the floor on his hands and knees, leaving himself open for JC to hook in a butterfly suplex through the table! He grabs the belt and heads for the window, sliding down the rope to the road.



Boris: COMRADE!



JC spins, and Boris drops into a Cossack dance, yelling Hey! with each kick. One of these kicks the belt out of JC's hand, preventing him from completing the tag by putting the belt around his own waist. Boris comes back to a standing position, snatching the belt out of the air.



Boris: Spasibo!



He turns to dart away, but JC angles away from him to the side of the street, then quickly changes course to charge at Boris. DANSE MACABRE sends Boris flying into a rack of sausages! He drops the belt and JC scoops it up, wrapping it around his waist.



Tags:

Sloane - 2

JC - 2

Tempest - 1



Tempest appears in the window of the hut covered in the muck and viscera of the Baba Yaga feast. He leaps out of that window onto the ledge of a nearby inn, grabbing a flag of Kosovo, which rips from it's moorings slowly, carrying Tempest to the street. He's about to approach JC when he's suddenly pelted by multiple jars of mayonnaise, which burst all around Tempest and cover him in the condiment and shards of glass. He ducks for cover under the awning of the sausage stand as Sloane runs up the street armed with a sledgehammer in one hand and one last jar of mayo in the other. She lobs one at JC, who bats it away and turns away toward the exit of the district. Sloane gives chase, and Tempest carefully steps through the puddles of mayo around him to bring up the rear.

[Jet Somers]

JC look across the way toward The Oasis, trying to figure out how to make it across the alleyway without touching the desert floor. Back to the left, he notices Sloane, and then Tempest, emerge in turn from the exit he had used to leave the Boris Slavic Festival. They each head into the LEW district, not noticing that JC had sidled down the outside edge without ever leaving the Russian district. He spies someone arguing with a security guard at The Oasis gate to his right.



Someone: I'm telling you, Ms. Morgan-Baal booked me for entertainment tonight.



He gestures toward his bag.



Someone with a bag: Juggling, sword swallowing, fire show, et cetera? I'm sure I'm on the list.



Guard: And I'm telling YOU--



The guard shoves the flamboyantly dressed man, causing him to stumble backward and drop his rucksack, spilling the contents out across the alley.



Guard: You're not on the list.



The guy gets up and dusts himself off, nodding with acceptance. He waves his hand with a flourish and smirks.



Flamboyant guy: Very well.



He rushes at the guard, tucking his shoulder and lifting him up for a vicious powerslam. JC's eyes widen with a hint of being impressed as the flamboyant guy pounds the guard. While they're tussling, he steps across the alleyway on various implements of the entertainer's trade, until he reaches the fence around The Oasis and pulls himself up on top.



JC surveys around himself, looking into the distance toward the next district in each direction. XWF is on one side, Captain 80's Funtime Fantasy Land on the other. He looks inward at the Oasis, deciding having to contend with the security force is the last thing he needs. . Knowing the Captain is probably still tripping over himself back in the Piercing Media District, he opts to head toward that area by walking along the fence around The Oasis rather than risk running across Roxy Cotton and Vinnie Lane or one of their cast of characters.