Post by Lord Hastings on May 22, 2021 18:29:06 GMT -5
The Morgan-Baal Estate.
Donovan and the twins are sitting with Eden as Gabriel enters the room to join them, pausing as he does and glaring directly at Donovan.
Baal: Why are you here?
Eden: Gabriel… Ot-nay round-ay the wins-tay.
Gabriel cleared his throat.
Baal: What I meant to say, obviously, is that it's good to see you. Even better without Rydell.
Hastings: Funny you should mention Dave.
Baal: I'm sure it's not but go on.
Eden: Donovan would like to teach the girls now to do a...what are we calling it?
Hastings: A joke call.
Eden: Right. A joke call.
Baal: This is a strange moment…
Hastings: How so?
Baal: This is a Donovan Hastings idea I can get behind.
Eden: Seriously?!
Baal: Yes. Donovan's suggestion is amusing.
Gabriel and Donovan look at one another and simultaneously shudder Eden rolls her eyes in the direction of the twins. They giggle.
Baal: Alright, so what's the plan?
Hastings: Allow me to begin...
Donovan dials the phone and hands it to Katie on speaker phone.
Hastings: Okay, so when he answers, you ask if his refrigerator is running.[/color]
Katie: Okay.
Rydell: Welcome to the Dave Rydell Podcast, what’s your name and what’s your question?
Katie: Hello. Is your refrigerator running?
Rydell: Uh, what? I’m sure it is?
Donovan whispers in her ear.
Katie: Well you’d better catch it!
They all laugh as Donovan takes the phone and hangs it up. Even Gabriel - which is a strange moment in and of itself.
The twins continue to talk with Eden about how cool that was when Gabriel turns to Donovan.
Baal: Are we really the closest thing you have you have to friends right now?
Hastings: She is. You're only here because you're paid to be.
Baal:... I'm not paid to be here.
Hastings: Really? I don't approve of that sort of taking advantage of one's Owen.
Baal: I am NOT Eden’s Owen.
Hastings: I beg to differ…
Baal: If your Owen does to you what I do what I do to Eden...
Hastings: Do not finish that sentence. I'd rather not have to be lobotomized.
Baal: Fair enough.
Scarlett: My turn! My turn! Eden will you help me?
Eden: I think Gabriel is the man for the job, sweetie. He's the creepy phone call type.
Baal: Tremendous. Alright. Let's do it.
Gabriel dials the phone this time.
Baal: Alright, when he answers, you need to ask for Mr. Likeable. First name Juan.
Scarlett: Okay, okay.
Rydell: Welcome to the Dave Rydell podcast, what’s your name and what’s your question?
Scarlett: Hi, can I can I speak to Mr. Likeable please? First name Juan.
Gabriel takes his turn to whisper now.
Rydell: I think you've got the wrong number, there's no Juan Likeable here.
Scarlett: Yeah, that's what I heard too.
Once more the five of them descend into fits of laughter. Gabriel hands the phone back to Donovan.
Hastings: Okay, I have to admit, that was pretty…
Donovan’s phone begins to ring - it's Dave.
Hastings: Hold on… Did you… Did you not withhold the number?
Baal: Oops?
Donovan stares at the phone.
Hastings: Excuse me a moment.
Donovan heads out of the room, leaving the twins with Gabriel and Eden. Once he closes the door behind him, he answers the ringing phone.
Hastings: Cosmo’s Pizza. You make it, we sell it back to you.
Rydell: Donovan. Enough. What do you want?
Hastings: Who is Donovan? I don’t know anyone by that name?
Rydell: Cut the crap. What do you want?
Donovan rolls his eyes.
Hastings: Well, this is awkward. Though not as awkward as Synergy, I suppose.
Rydell: Well, what do you expect? He hit me with his needle. You know how that feels. And it isn’t good. So, what the hell do you want? Why are you calling in?
Hastings: Are you honestly surprised by this?
Rydell: Ya know what? No. No I’m not. So, now that you’re here, what do you want?
Hastings: You failed us on Monday.
Rydell: I failed you? I FAILED YOU? Get the fuck out of here. WE failed, as a team. Are we not a team?
Hastings: You still think we’re a team.
Rydell: No, I fucking don’t. I don’t care how well we worked together Monday before Gabriel used his needle. But this? This is the most dysfunctional situation I’ve ever been a part of. And don’t forget, I was part of Lock’s Regime back in the day. So that should tell you a thing or two.
Hastings: You also partnered with a guy named CoolJ and called yourself Cold Fusion.
Rydell: Don’t even get me started.
Hastings: Trust me, I don’t.
Rydell: See that? That, right there. If we are supposed to be a team, we need to act like it. You need to stop doing this shit. And with Outlast coming up, we have a chance to be on the same side again in the qualifiers.
Hastings: That would be dreadful, wouldn’t it?
Rydell: You’re telling me. So, I have to know. Because this is one of the biggest events of the year, what exactly are you planning for Outlast?
Donovan smirks.
Hastings: I’m going to make it really simple for you, Dave. You and I have both been in a lot of these tournaments. We know how it works. Survive and advance, and then it’s everyone for themselves in the main event. We’ve been teamed together. We’ve also gone head to head. All that I care about is ending Sloane Taylor’s reign at the end of the night. When you’re useful in that regard, we’ll have no problems. If you’re in my way, I’ll go right through you.
Rydell: I can understand that, but I’m not going to let you destroy the integrity of the World Championship, and this company’s name. You are not going to disrespect the very thing that myself and so many others pour their lives into!
Hastings: If it was so important to you, it wouldn’t have taken you over ten years to get to it.
The momentarily silence from the other end of the phone prompts Donovan to pantomime dropping a microphone.
Rydell: You’re a son of a bitch. You know damn well why I haven’t won it yet.
Hastings: Because you can’t get around yourself. You are your toughest obstacle. Every time you get close. You use the excuse of something outside being the reason. You never take responsibility for how YOU failed.
Rydell: What?! Are you fucking kidding me? I took full responsibility for me failing at No Holds Barred in 2010. I took full responsibility when I went against Travis Roberts. And when I fought Sarah? I did everything I could. I popped my own fucking shoulder back in to keep going. But that ridiculously oversized dipshit got in the way. THAT wasn’t my fault.
Hastings: What about all the Massive Melees? What about all the Outlasts? You’ve never once won either of them and you have been in more than 90% of the people in this company. What do you have to say for yourself about that?
Rydell: I don’t need to explain shit to you.
Hastings: That’s what I thought.
For a moment, the call is silent.
Rydell: I do have something I need to ask you.
Hastings: What?
Rydell: What the hell is going on with you and Owen?
Hastings: Nothing you need to concern yourself about.
Rydell: Well, it feels like it. Because I have a message here from Owen, saying something about the McCallister Protocol? What the hell is that? Why do you have to activate this?
Donovan’s eyes form narrow slits.
Hastings: ...I’ll see you at Outlast.
Donovan hangs up the phone. He taps it on his palm for a moment, lost in thought, before turning to the door to see Katie standing in the doorway with tears in her eyes.
Hastings: Kay? What happened?
She bursts into tears and rushes to him, wrapping her arms tightly around his waist and burying her face in his chest. He gets down on one knee and hugs her.
Hastings: What’s going on?
Katie: I want you to win Outlast.
Hastings: Okay. So do I.
Katie: But Scarlett says she wants Eden to win!
Hastings: ...I see.
He frowns and thinks for a moment.
Hastings: That’s okay that she thinks that.
Katie: No it’s NOT! You’re our daddy, we want YOU to win!
He smiles and wipes a tear from her cheek.
Hastings: I know. These last few years have been hard for all of us. Eden’s been very good to both of you these past year, and if I’m being fair, Gabriel has too. It’s okay to want to see them do well too.
She sniffles.
Katie: I’m NOT calling him Uncle Gabriel.
Hastings: No, we’re drawing the line there, nobody should ever call him that for any reason.
Katie hugs him tightly again.
Katie: I just want you to be the World Champion again.
Hastings: Me too. But what do we say about that?
She smiles.
Katie: It’s inevitable.
Hastings: Yes it is. Now, I need you and your sister to stay here for a little bit, and I’ll be back soon.
Katie: Where are you going?
Hastings: There’s something I need to take care of.
Donovan and Owen have not spoken since their encounter outside the Sports Entertainment Executive’s office a few weeks back. There are levels on which Donovan understands it. Owen is in a position that requires him to distance himself from some of Donovan’s recent actions. While recent events are far tamer than things Donovan has done in the past, Owen’s current position demands he take a particular public stance.
At the same time, there are levels on which Donovan cannot help but take it as a personal betrayal, leaving him feeling torn as to his long time confidant’s loyalties. Yet this turn of events puts those concerns to rest.
Owen has sent him a coded message, likely intended to be delivered more subtly than Rydell ultimately did, warning him that his home was in danger. Donovan has left his children in the care of the Morgan-Baals and rushed home to activate the security system and gauntlet of traps that have been slowly activated room by room as Donovan sits on his throne, awaiting the arrival of his intruders.
After a time, and with Donovan’s patient slowly expiring as he rests with his chin in his palm and a single finger tapping his cheek, the door in front of him opens, revealing a wounded Johnny Bonecrusher, accompanied by Hide Yamazaki.
Hastings: I was beginning to think you weren't coming.
Johnny steps foot in the room, but Donovan puts up a single finger on his other hand.
Hastings: Careful. The floor might actually be lava.
Johnny hesitates, but Hide steps past him into the room, and a reassured Johnny follows.
Johnny: Why… in the HELL… is your house like this, you lunatic?!
Hastings: Who told you to break into it?
Johnny: Answer my question first!!!
Donovan cocks his head to the side and smiles, then slowly looks to one armrest of his throne, where his hand now rests on a button. Johnny eyes the button.
Johnny: All right, settle down, you! Don’t you think I’ve gone through enough?!
Hastings: Not really, no. I'm actually disappointed you didn't trip the flamethrower in the bathroom.
Johnny scowls, then whips off his shades, revealing that his eyebrows and eyelashes had been burnt off.
Johnny: I didn’t?!
He then winces as his eyes try adjusting to the illuminated room. He examines his shades.
Johnny: Well, that explains why it felt extra dark for me out there!
Hastings: I assume you have a reason that you went to all this trouble.
Johnny carefully puts his shades back on, seething as he does.
Johnny: Uh… yeah… our Creative Director tipped me off that the two best people to inquire about how to best deal with Incendium… were, ah, well, Lucy Wylde… and you.
Hastings: You can't be serious.
Johnny held a shrug as he looked at Hide for some guidance. Hide replied with a shrug of his own and made a comment that Donovan couldn’t understand. Johnny pointed at Hide as he stared back at Donovan.
Johnny: You hear that? You’re trying his patience, man! LOOK: we require intel from those closest to The Sea-Hag and her Barracuda Prince. And I’m TELLING you - there is NO! WAY! you DON’T want to take them down after what they’ve done to, to you.
Hastings: Like babysit my children so they're safely not here while you ransack our home?
Johnny’s jaw went slack and he paused to absorb the information.
Johnny: Oh… my… god… ...OH… MY… GOD!!! Well, hold your horses, let’s put this on hold and go rescue those little scamps before they’re injected with experimental serums and tinctures!!
Johnny went to leave, but Hide, sighed and held him fast in place.
Hastings: Tell me, Johnny, what possible motivation could I have at this point to help you? Your attitude towards my agenda as of late has been somewhat...disappointing.
Johnny: “My… ATTITUDE? MY ATTITUDE. My ATTITUDE!! MY attitude! Not yours, MINE! MINE?!”
Johnny continued to rant, but Donovan’s mind began to wander, the image of Johnny ranting reminding Donovan of Stan S. Stanman from the Secret of Monkey Island.
Donovan is lost in his thought, once again tapping his finger on his cheek, before realizing that Johnny has stopped talking and sitting upright.
Hastings: I'm sorry, I wasn't listening.
Johnny: WHAT?!?!
Hastings: I was thinking about something else. I'll tell you what. We'll go a little quid pro quo. Give me something actionable regarding Sloane.
Johnny slowly turns to face his client. Hide cocks his head in uncertainty. Johnny slowly turns to look at Donovan again, once more pointing at him.
Johnny: Y-y-youuuu have a LOTTA nerve there, PAL! You really think I would tell you anything about our World Champion??
Hastings: Yes.
Johnny places his hands on his head and exhales sharply.
Johnny: You’re asking for me to give you an ally’s best-kept secrets away! All for info on some of the most despised people in the UGWC!
Hastings: Do you want it or not?
Johnny: I…YES I DO!!
Hastings: Well then, get on with it.
Johnny holds up a finger.
Johnny: I... need a moment with my counsel!
Johnny pulls Hide aside and they get into a two-person huddle while Donovan simultaneously ponders deep mysteries of the universe as well as internally debating whether pineapple belongs on pizza. After a minute the huddle breaks up and Johnny turns back to Donovan.
Johnny: All right. You know what? We’ve got the scoop on Sloane for you. See, Sloane is a lifelong wrestling fan, right? Well, being a FAN and being a WRESTLER for as long as we have, not even remotely the same thing. There’s got to be something to exploit there, right? Naivete? Gullibility?
Hastings: You mean to tell me the great Johnny Bonecrusher has to guess? He doesn't know?
Johnny: I… wasn’t… finished!! It’s possible one could work her over with a call to reason stemming from emotion. You’re a legend here, right? You’ve got kids, right? You put two and two together there, JACK!
Hastings: It's possible. This is what the #1 Hit-Maker has to offer. Vague possibilities.
Johnny: I’m an Ideas Man, damn you!! I give opportunities! I inspire! I say a little of this, a little of that, and I ASSUME people can extrapolate from that what they need to! I guess I was wrong! So lemme make one - or more things… PERFECTLY CLEAR: Sloane’s biggest weakness is her heart. Is that clear enough for you?!
Donovan smirks.
Hastings: Allow me to make something clear for you. We are about to compete in the Outlast Tournament, and the stakes have never been higher. The winner gets the World Title and one of these new Keys to the Kingdom. What are the former World Champion and his manager worrying about going into the tournament? Two people that have not only never won the tournament, they've both LOST the World Title at it.
Johnny purses his lips and inhales deeply.
Johnny: This might seem strange to someone like YOU, but there are more things in life than winning tournaments and World titles.
Which is a comment made by people who cannot win them.
Johnny: Uh, anyway, priority one is: ensure Incendium continue their Outlast failures. Priority two is: fucking end them once and for all! And then, if there’s time, we DO have priority three: which is once AGAIN win at Outlast! You see? You underestimate us AGAIN, Hastings! We’re MORE than capable of multitasking! Now… I’ve told you WAY more than I should have about Sloane! It’s your turn!
Hastings: I'll tell you the truth about Eden Morgan. She's never lost. Not once, not ever. There is nothing you can do to her, no setback you can inflict, that she cannot twist to her satisfaction and justify in her mind. She is the living embodiment of getting the last word, and if that's where your focus is, your client is never going to be the World Champion again.
Johnny sucks his teeth.
Johnny: Yeah, well, we’ll see about that. Ah! I just thought of something! You’re wrong!
Donovan sighs.
Hastings: Do tell.
Johnny: You see, thing thing you’ve of course forgotten about is-
Donovan calmly pushes the button on the armrest, opening a trap door underneath Johnny and dropping him into it, with his voice fading as he falls. Donovan looks at Hide.
Hastings: Either down the hole or back the way you came. Makes no difference to me.
Hide glances down the hole and shrugs.
Hide: Watashitachi no sukunakutomo ri wa, nagamochi suru no ni jūbun'na wariaidearu hitsuyō ga arimasu shitaki mushrooms.
Hide then exited through the door.
Hastings: Gesundheit.
And so Donovan was left alone on his throne with his thoughts, his mind flashing through recent events.
He thought of his own actions at Incursion, and his personal distaste and animosity towards Sloane Taylor.
He thought of his victory long ago in an Outlast Tournament in what may as well have been a prior life in a closed promotion, given his annual shortcomings in the UGWC version of the event.
He thought of the night that he won what has been to this point his final UGWC World Championship, a title reign that he vacated prior to defending it.
His daughter’s words echoed in his mind, the sight of the tear in her eye burned into his brain.
I just want you to be the World Champion again.
His mind settled on the only truth he has ever known.
It is inevitable.
Donovan and the twins are sitting with Eden as Gabriel enters the room to join them, pausing as he does and glaring directly at Donovan.
Baal: Why are you here?
Eden: Gabriel… Ot-nay round-ay the wins-tay.
Gabriel cleared his throat.
Baal: What I meant to say, obviously, is that it's good to see you. Even better without Rydell.
Hastings: Funny you should mention Dave.
Baal: I'm sure it's not but go on.
Eden: Donovan would like to teach the girls now to do a...what are we calling it?
Hastings: A joke call.
Eden: Right. A joke call.
Baal: This is a strange moment…
Hastings: How so?
Baal: This is a Donovan Hastings idea I can get behind.
Eden: Seriously?!
Baal: Yes. Donovan's suggestion is amusing.
Gabriel and Donovan look at one another and simultaneously shudder Eden rolls her eyes in the direction of the twins. They giggle.
Baal: Alright, so what's the plan?
Hastings: Allow me to begin...
Donovan dials the phone and hands it to Katie on speaker phone.
Hastings: Okay, so when he answers, you ask if his refrigerator is running.[/color]
Katie: Okay.
Rydell: Welcome to the Dave Rydell Podcast, what’s your name and what’s your question?
Katie: Hello. Is your refrigerator running?
Rydell: Uh, what? I’m sure it is?
Donovan whispers in her ear.
Katie: Well you’d better catch it!
They all laugh as Donovan takes the phone and hangs it up. Even Gabriel - which is a strange moment in and of itself.
The twins continue to talk with Eden about how cool that was when Gabriel turns to Donovan.
Baal: Are we really the closest thing you have you have to friends right now?
Hastings: She is. You're only here because you're paid to be.
Baal:... I'm not paid to be here.
Hastings: Really? I don't approve of that sort of taking advantage of one's Owen.
Baal: I am NOT Eden’s Owen.
Hastings: I beg to differ…
Baal: If your Owen does to you what I do what I do to Eden...
Hastings: Do not finish that sentence. I'd rather not have to be lobotomized.
Baal: Fair enough.
Scarlett: My turn! My turn! Eden will you help me?
Eden: I think Gabriel is the man for the job, sweetie. He's the creepy phone call type.
Baal: Tremendous. Alright. Let's do it.
Gabriel dials the phone this time.
Baal: Alright, when he answers, you need to ask for Mr. Likeable. First name Juan.
Scarlett: Okay, okay.
Rydell: Welcome to the Dave Rydell podcast, what’s your name and what’s your question?
Scarlett: Hi, can I can I speak to Mr. Likeable please? First name Juan.
Gabriel takes his turn to whisper now.
Rydell: I think you've got the wrong number, there's no Juan Likeable here.
Scarlett: Yeah, that's what I heard too.
Once more the five of them descend into fits of laughter. Gabriel hands the phone back to Donovan.
Hastings: Okay, I have to admit, that was pretty…
Donovan’s phone begins to ring - it's Dave.
Hastings: Hold on… Did you… Did you not withhold the number?
Baal: Oops?
Donovan stares at the phone.
Hastings: Excuse me a moment.
Donovan heads out of the room, leaving the twins with Gabriel and Eden. Once he closes the door behind him, he answers the ringing phone.
Hastings: Cosmo’s Pizza. You make it, we sell it back to you.
Rydell: Donovan. Enough. What do you want?
Hastings: Who is Donovan? I don’t know anyone by that name?
Rydell: Cut the crap. What do you want?
Donovan rolls his eyes.
Hastings: Well, this is awkward. Though not as awkward as Synergy, I suppose.
Rydell: Well, what do you expect? He hit me with his needle. You know how that feels. And it isn’t good. So, what the hell do you want? Why are you calling in?
Hastings: Are you honestly surprised by this?
Rydell: Ya know what? No. No I’m not. So, now that you’re here, what do you want?
Hastings: You failed us on Monday.
Rydell: I failed you? I FAILED YOU? Get the fuck out of here. WE failed, as a team. Are we not a team?
Hastings: You still think we’re a team.
Rydell: No, I fucking don’t. I don’t care how well we worked together Monday before Gabriel used his needle. But this? This is the most dysfunctional situation I’ve ever been a part of. And don’t forget, I was part of Lock’s Regime back in the day. So that should tell you a thing or two.
Hastings: You also partnered with a guy named CoolJ and called yourself Cold Fusion.
Rydell: Don’t even get me started.
Hastings: Trust me, I don’t.
Rydell: See that? That, right there. If we are supposed to be a team, we need to act like it. You need to stop doing this shit. And with Outlast coming up, we have a chance to be on the same side again in the qualifiers.
Hastings: That would be dreadful, wouldn’t it?
Rydell: You’re telling me. So, I have to know. Because this is one of the biggest events of the year, what exactly are you planning for Outlast?
Donovan smirks.
Hastings: I’m going to make it really simple for you, Dave. You and I have both been in a lot of these tournaments. We know how it works. Survive and advance, and then it’s everyone for themselves in the main event. We’ve been teamed together. We’ve also gone head to head. All that I care about is ending Sloane Taylor’s reign at the end of the night. When you’re useful in that regard, we’ll have no problems. If you’re in my way, I’ll go right through you.
Rydell: I can understand that, but I’m not going to let you destroy the integrity of the World Championship, and this company’s name. You are not going to disrespect the very thing that myself and so many others pour their lives into!
Hastings: If it was so important to you, it wouldn’t have taken you over ten years to get to it.
The momentarily silence from the other end of the phone prompts Donovan to pantomime dropping a microphone.
Rydell: You’re a son of a bitch. You know damn well why I haven’t won it yet.
Hastings: Because you can’t get around yourself. You are your toughest obstacle. Every time you get close. You use the excuse of something outside being the reason. You never take responsibility for how YOU failed.
Rydell: What?! Are you fucking kidding me? I took full responsibility for me failing at No Holds Barred in 2010. I took full responsibility when I went against Travis Roberts. And when I fought Sarah? I did everything I could. I popped my own fucking shoulder back in to keep going. But that ridiculously oversized dipshit got in the way. THAT wasn’t my fault.
Hastings: What about all the Massive Melees? What about all the Outlasts? You’ve never once won either of them and you have been in more than 90% of the people in this company. What do you have to say for yourself about that?
Rydell: I don’t need to explain shit to you.
Hastings: That’s what I thought.
For a moment, the call is silent.
Rydell: I do have something I need to ask you.
Hastings: What?
Rydell: What the hell is going on with you and Owen?
Hastings: Nothing you need to concern yourself about.
Rydell: Well, it feels like it. Because I have a message here from Owen, saying something about the McCallister Protocol? What the hell is that? Why do you have to activate this?
Donovan’s eyes form narrow slits.
Hastings: ...I’ll see you at Outlast.
Donovan hangs up the phone. He taps it on his palm for a moment, lost in thought, before turning to the door to see Katie standing in the doorway with tears in her eyes.
Hastings: Kay? What happened?
She bursts into tears and rushes to him, wrapping her arms tightly around his waist and burying her face in his chest. He gets down on one knee and hugs her.
Hastings: What’s going on?
Katie: I want you to win Outlast.
Hastings: Okay. So do I.
Katie: But Scarlett says she wants Eden to win!
Hastings: ...I see.
He frowns and thinks for a moment.
Hastings: That’s okay that she thinks that.
Katie: No it’s NOT! You’re our daddy, we want YOU to win!
He smiles and wipes a tear from her cheek.
Hastings: I know. These last few years have been hard for all of us. Eden’s been very good to both of you these past year, and if I’m being fair, Gabriel has too. It’s okay to want to see them do well too.
She sniffles.
Katie: I’m NOT calling him Uncle Gabriel.
Hastings: No, we’re drawing the line there, nobody should ever call him that for any reason.
Katie hugs him tightly again.
Katie: I just want you to be the World Champion again.
Hastings: Me too. But what do we say about that?
She smiles.
Katie: It’s inevitable.
Hastings: Yes it is. Now, I need you and your sister to stay here for a little bit, and I’ll be back soon.
Katie: Where are you going?
Hastings: There’s something I need to take care of.
Donovan and Owen have not spoken since their encounter outside the Sports Entertainment Executive’s office a few weeks back. There are levels on which Donovan understands it. Owen is in a position that requires him to distance himself from some of Donovan’s recent actions. While recent events are far tamer than things Donovan has done in the past, Owen’s current position demands he take a particular public stance.
At the same time, there are levels on which Donovan cannot help but take it as a personal betrayal, leaving him feeling torn as to his long time confidant’s loyalties. Yet this turn of events puts those concerns to rest.
Owen has sent him a coded message, likely intended to be delivered more subtly than Rydell ultimately did, warning him that his home was in danger. Donovan has left his children in the care of the Morgan-Baals and rushed home to activate the security system and gauntlet of traps that have been slowly activated room by room as Donovan sits on his throne, awaiting the arrival of his intruders.
After a time, and with Donovan’s patient slowly expiring as he rests with his chin in his palm and a single finger tapping his cheek, the door in front of him opens, revealing a wounded Johnny Bonecrusher, accompanied by Hide Yamazaki.
Hastings: I was beginning to think you weren't coming.
Johnny steps foot in the room, but Donovan puts up a single finger on his other hand.
Hastings: Careful. The floor might actually be lava.
Johnny hesitates, but Hide steps past him into the room, and a reassured Johnny follows.
Johnny: Why… in the HELL… is your house like this, you lunatic?!
Hastings: Who told you to break into it?
Johnny: Answer my question first!!!
Donovan cocks his head to the side and smiles, then slowly looks to one armrest of his throne, where his hand now rests on a button. Johnny eyes the button.
Johnny: All right, settle down, you! Don’t you think I’ve gone through enough?!
Hastings: Not really, no. I'm actually disappointed you didn't trip the flamethrower in the bathroom.
Johnny scowls, then whips off his shades, revealing that his eyebrows and eyelashes had been burnt off.
Johnny: I didn’t?!
He then winces as his eyes try adjusting to the illuminated room. He examines his shades.
Johnny: Well, that explains why it felt extra dark for me out there!
Hastings: I assume you have a reason that you went to all this trouble.
Johnny carefully puts his shades back on, seething as he does.
Johnny: Uh… yeah… our Creative Director tipped me off that the two best people to inquire about how to best deal with Incendium… were, ah, well, Lucy Wylde… and you.
Hastings: You can't be serious.
Johnny held a shrug as he looked at Hide for some guidance. Hide replied with a shrug of his own and made a comment that Donovan couldn’t understand. Johnny pointed at Hide as he stared back at Donovan.
Johnny: You hear that? You’re trying his patience, man! LOOK: we require intel from those closest to The Sea-Hag and her Barracuda Prince. And I’m TELLING you - there is NO! WAY! you DON’T want to take them down after what they’ve done to, to you.
Hastings: Like babysit my children so they're safely not here while you ransack our home?
Johnny’s jaw went slack and he paused to absorb the information.
Johnny: Oh… my… god… ...OH… MY… GOD!!! Well, hold your horses, let’s put this on hold and go rescue those little scamps before they’re injected with experimental serums and tinctures!!
Johnny went to leave, but Hide, sighed and held him fast in place.
Hastings: Tell me, Johnny, what possible motivation could I have at this point to help you? Your attitude towards my agenda as of late has been somewhat...disappointing.
Johnny: “My… ATTITUDE? MY ATTITUDE. My ATTITUDE!! MY attitude! Not yours, MINE! MINE?!”
Johnny continued to rant, but Donovan’s mind began to wander, the image of Johnny ranting reminding Donovan of Stan S. Stanman from the Secret of Monkey Island.
Donovan is lost in his thought, once again tapping his finger on his cheek, before realizing that Johnny has stopped talking and sitting upright.
Hastings: I'm sorry, I wasn't listening.
Johnny: WHAT?!?!
Hastings: I was thinking about something else. I'll tell you what. We'll go a little quid pro quo. Give me something actionable regarding Sloane.
Johnny slowly turns to face his client. Hide cocks his head in uncertainty. Johnny slowly turns to look at Donovan again, once more pointing at him.
Johnny: Y-y-youuuu have a LOTTA nerve there, PAL! You really think I would tell you anything about our World Champion??
Hastings: Yes.
Johnny places his hands on his head and exhales sharply.
Johnny: You’re asking for me to give you an ally’s best-kept secrets away! All for info on some of the most despised people in the UGWC!
Hastings: Do you want it or not?
Johnny: I…YES I DO!!
Hastings: Well then, get on with it.
Johnny holds up a finger.
Johnny: I... need a moment with my counsel!
Johnny pulls Hide aside and they get into a two-person huddle while Donovan simultaneously ponders deep mysteries of the universe as well as internally debating whether pineapple belongs on pizza. After a minute the huddle breaks up and Johnny turns back to Donovan.
Johnny: All right. You know what? We’ve got the scoop on Sloane for you. See, Sloane is a lifelong wrestling fan, right? Well, being a FAN and being a WRESTLER for as long as we have, not even remotely the same thing. There’s got to be something to exploit there, right? Naivete? Gullibility?
Hastings: You mean to tell me the great Johnny Bonecrusher has to guess? He doesn't know?
Johnny: I… wasn’t… finished!! It’s possible one could work her over with a call to reason stemming from emotion. You’re a legend here, right? You’ve got kids, right? You put two and two together there, JACK!
Hastings: It's possible. This is what the #1 Hit-Maker has to offer. Vague possibilities.
Johnny: I’m an Ideas Man, damn you!! I give opportunities! I inspire! I say a little of this, a little of that, and I ASSUME people can extrapolate from that what they need to! I guess I was wrong! So lemme make one - or more things… PERFECTLY CLEAR: Sloane’s biggest weakness is her heart. Is that clear enough for you?!
Donovan smirks.
Hastings: Allow me to make something clear for you. We are about to compete in the Outlast Tournament, and the stakes have never been higher. The winner gets the World Title and one of these new Keys to the Kingdom. What are the former World Champion and his manager worrying about going into the tournament? Two people that have not only never won the tournament, they've both LOST the World Title at it.
Johnny purses his lips and inhales deeply.
Johnny: This might seem strange to someone like YOU, but there are more things in life than winning tournaments and World titles.
Which is a comment made by people who cannot win them.
Johnny: Uh, anyway, priority one is: ensure Incendium continue their Outlast failures. Priority two is: fucking end them once and for all! And then, if there’s time, we DO have priority three: which is once AGAIN win at Outlast! You see? You underestimate us AGAIN, Hastings! We’re MORE than capable of multitasking! Now… I’ve told you WAY more than I should have about Sloane! It’s your turn!
Hastings: I'll tell you the truth about Eden Morgan. She's never lost. Not once, not ever. There is nothing you can do to her, no setback you can inflict, that she cannot twist to her satisfaction and justify in her mind. She is the living embodiment of getting the last word, and if that's where your focus is, your client is never going to be the World Champion again.
Johnny sucks his teeth.
Johnny: Yeah, well, we’ll see about that. Ah! I just thought of something! You’re wrong!
Donovan sighs.
Hastings: Do tell.
Johnny: You see, thing thing you’ve of course forgotten about is-
Donovan calmly pushes the button on the armrest, opening a trap door underneath Johnny and dropping him into it, with his voice fading as he falls. Donovan looks at Hide.
Hastings: Either down the hole or back the way you came. Makes no difference to me.
Hide glances down the hole and shrugs.
Hide: Watashitachi no sukunakutomo ri wa, nagamochi suru no ni jūbun'na wariaidearu hitsuyō ga arimasu shitaki mushrooms.
Hide then exited through the door.
Hastings: Gesundheit.
And so Donovan was left alone on his throne with his thoughts, his mind flashing through recent events.
He thought of his own actions at Incursion, and his personal distaste and animosity towards Sloane Taylor.
He thought of his victory long ago in an Outlast Tournament in what may as well have been a prior life in a closed promotion, given his annual shortcomings in the UGWC version of the event.
He thought of the night that he won what has been to this point his final UGWC World Championship, a title reign that he vacated prior to defending it.
His daughter’s words echoed in his mind, the sight of the tear in her eye burned into his brain.
I just want you to be the World Champion again.
His mind settled on the only truth he has ever known.
It is inevitable.
