Sentinel 22/02/09 Results

[T-Robosaurus Rex]

Hanson: Is it time, Nick?

Vinegar: Yes, it is, Dan.

Hanson: What time is it, Nick?

Vinegar: It's Sentinel time, Dan.

Hanson: No, see, it doesn't work if you just look at your shoes and mumble. I just wanted a little bit of support, Nick. I went through all the trouble of writing a great new introduction for the show, and you know what you're doing to it, cowboy? Dropping trou over it.

Vinegar: Ladies and gentlemen, ignore my broadcast partner for the time being, and welcome to Global Impact Wrestling! I'm Nick Vinegar, joined, as always, by Daniel Hanson.

Hanson: Did you sigh, was that a sigh? Geez, Nick, get excited! We just came off a kick-ass pay-per-view!

Vinegar: That we did, Dan! Infinity changed the landscape of the company yet again. We have a new Global Champion in Alex Kiseragi! And he'll be defending that title for the first time tonight, in a ladder match against Travis Roberts!

Hanson: And the Headliner cannot be too happy about the way things went down at Infinity, Nick. The Dragon pulled a dirty, underhanded maneuver, and stole the title from the Blessed Idol of Millions!

Vinegar: One, I think you may be overstating our former champions appeal only slightly, and two, it was the kind of political maneuvering that Roberts himself would be capable of!

Hanson: Yes, Nick, but at least HE'D do it while style.

Vinegar: Speaking of style, we're going to see the most stylish champion in GIW in action right here off the bat!

Hanson: Gabby is more than a champion, Nick, she is Chief Negro! Negra. Negress. Nubian. Something. And THAT is a title that can't be taken away! My beloved Gabrielle went the distance last week and now she's going to show EVERYONE why she is the Most Envied, and now Most Valuable, Princess of Wrestling!

Vinegar: Well, a win tonight would surely do just that, Daniel, because her first outing as Chief Negrette is a match against one of the strongest and largest athletes on the roster! That Japanese rock music can only mean one thing! Let's get this underway with Dennis Mitchell.

Two large burly men walk out from backstage carrying a throne.

Vinegar: Now, what is this?

Hanson: Isn't it obvious, Nick? That's one of the new Lord-Chief's thrones!

Vinegar: Well, it isn't enough to just have the one back at the lair.

Hanson: That's Owen Peterson's locker room!

"Hail to the Chief" plays over the PA system, and Donovan Hastings walks out from backstage, carrying a microphone.

Hastings: Good evening to all my niglets! Your Lord-Chief has arrived!

Hanson: Hail to the Lord-Chief!

Vinegar: This is ridiculous!

Hanson: Why does it bother you?

Vinegar: Hastings LOST the tournament!

Hanson: You say that like it's relevant.

Vinegar: He didn't even make the finals!

Hastings: Now that your Lord-Chief is here, this night can get underway properly. People like to talk around here about blessed ones, but I decided instead of blessing one, how about blessing all? And so your Lord-Chief has not blessed all of you, my loyal niglets, with my presence.

Donovan clears his throat.

Hastings: And don't make me git my gat!

Vinegar: Is he serious?

Hanson: He's always serious. He's the true Lord-Chief Nigga!

Hastings: Now, your Lord-Chief, the one and true Chief Nigga of GIW, will be here throughout the evening, watching over my kingdom from my Nigga-Throne. You there, the little people at ringside, go ahead and get this bitch started.

Mitchell Dennis throws Hastings a sideways look, filled with confusion and annoyance, but raises the mic to his lips none the less.


Mitchell: The following match is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, from Kyoto Japan, weighing in at 409 pounds, the Japanese Powerhouse, KOMOOOOOOOOSUUUUUBEEE!

Hanson: Where do you think he buys robes in that size?

Vinegar: The same place traditional Sumo wrestlers buy theirs, I would suppose. Komosube and his partner Aragato come extremely close to winning the Tag Titles at Infinity, and those belts are on the line again tonight. You have to wonder if Hiroshima will be keeping an eye on that match.

Hanson: The way he's putting that sake away, he may end up seeing two matches.

Mitchell: And his opponent, hailing from Nelson, New Zealand, and weighing in at 130 pounds, she is The Global Impact Wrestling CHIEF NEGREEEEEETTE, GABRIELLE! MADISON! MONTGOOOOOOOMERYYY!

Vinegar: And listen to that pop, Daniel! Even if you don't LIKE Gabrielle, you have GOT to give her respect for what she went through at Infinity.

Hanson: I LOVE YOU! SOoohohohohoh much.

Vinegar: And now you're crying again. Gabrielle makes her way to the ring, all alone. We thought maybe after the left the ring together that she may be teaming up with Diamond Jack again.

Hanson: Douchebag Jack STDino? Fat chance!

Vinegar: And backstage reports say that her friendship with The Crimson Ghost survived their finals match, but even he is nowhere to be seen, maybe he's preparing for his match with Randy Boolzian later tonight. But one man who is watching with a determined look is Donovan Hastings, the self proclaimed Chief Nigga...

Hanson: They can be Chief and Chieffette as far as I’m concerned Nick. Now Komosube is slapping himself on the chest and grunting. What is that fat man doing?

Vinegar: I don't know yet, Dan, I must admit. Now the slaps are getting harder and the grunts are getting louder.

Hanson: And he is staring straight at the Diamond Princess.

Vinegar: It's intimidation, Daniel. Those slaps are leaving a bright welt on the man's chest, he's showing Gabrielle how much power he truly has.

Hanson: The bell rings and Mongo is still slapping and grunting, and now he's slowly approaching the Caramel Skinned Sexpot. So this is an intimidation technique, Nick

Vinegar: And it may be working, Gabrielle is stepping back a little, she knows she won't be able to match blows with the Japanese Powerhouse, and now he's toying with her, getting her flustered! And she can't take it anymore, she charges, maybe hoping to catch him off-guard!

Hanson: That brute just backhanded my princess!

Vinegar: A vicious slap sends Gabby to the mat, and now he's yelling at her, pointing to the entrance.

Hanson: He wants her to bring another person out here?

Vinegar: That appears to be what he's saying. He gave her a warning earlier this week, and now he's giving her a second chance to call out some help. But she's not taking it! The Chief Negress is charging again! But Komosube grabs her by the shoulders and tosses her to the side.

Hanson: Laughing, and now more yelling. Is that supposed to be gentlemanly?

Vinegar: But Gabrielle has something to prove here, Dan, and she is coming back for more!

Hanson: Sube stops her dead in her tracks with that big palm, he's holding her back like he's her big brother or something!

Vinegar: Just pushing down on her head with that huge hand, Gabrielle can't reach him with her punches or kicks. And holding up a finger, he's telling her it's her last chance.

Hanson: He pushed her down again! I don't care if she wants it or not, someone needs to get in that ring and help her!

Vinegar: He points towards the back.

Hanson: Somebody! Anybody!

Vinegar: Now's he pointing at you, Dan.

Hanson:.....we should really respect Gabrielle's wishes.

Vinegar: I think he's shouting about Diamond Jack now, that seems to have struck a chord with her. She pushes off the mat and nails a dropkick to the knee!

Hanson: The big man was caught by surprise, that nearly buckled him!

Vinegar: Now she leaps up to deliver a back elbow to Komosube's face, that's rocked him back slightly! Now she charges at him again.

Hanson: Savate Kick! The momentum takes him down! Keep on him, baby, don't let him up!

Vinegar: I don't think she needs your coaching, Dan, The Elegant Goddess knows what she's up against. And she puts back on the mat with a vicious rocketing knee to the face! Now she's looking for the Enviable Position, I do believe.

Hanson: But she can't quite fit it onto his huge frame in time, he's shaken her off! And now he looks ANGRY. KING HIPPO IS CHARGING!

Vinegar: OH! Gabrielle flops down onto her back and brings her knees up towards Komosube's vital region!

Hanson: I don't care how big you are, Nick, that will always, ALWAYS, hurt.

Vinegar: The Epitome of Perfection slides away quickly as the big man struggles to compose himself, and launches an Enziguri! Dan, care to do the honors?

Hanson: BOOT TO THE HEAD!!!!

Vinegar: And now she's not wasting anytime, Gabrielle climbs the top rope. Moonsault! Referee Hazel East in position, 1! 2! NO! Aito Chen kicks out and both superstars are racing to get to their feet first.

Hanson: It's my Hypothetical Fiance, and she charges again!

Vinegar: Only to be met by a vicious clothesline! Gabrielle flips through the air on her way down, that was horrific!

Hanson: She's laid out flat, Nick! We may need to call for medical personnel! And Sube is chuckling, that sick man!

Vinegar: He had warned her about stepping into the ring with him, I guess he feels like it was warranted by that clothesline from hell.

Hanson: Um Nick, that's a trademark.

Vinegar: Oops, sorry. That clothesline from Darfur.

Hanson: Nice politicking, Nick. Now that beast is picking her up, he wants to send her a message!

Vinegar: She springs up and grabs hold! It's locked in!

Hanson: ENVIABLE POSITION! That was a Travis Roberts worthy manuever! A.... GMMLAOCIAFSOS!!!!!!

Vinegar: Komosube is being choked out while standing up! He's trying to get to the ropes, or fight her off, but she's sapping the strength out of him, he hits a knee. If she can get him to the mat, she can use that leg to apply even more pressure!

Hanson: Damn that man, he reached the ropes! Hazel East telling Gabrielle to break the hold, giving her the five count, she releases.

Vinegar: But the damage may have been done, he is struggling now. He's just looking at her.

Hanson: She curtsies!

Vinegar: He was treating her with kid gloves, she's letting him know what she thinks about that! Now a huge shove by Komosube knocks her back!

Hanson: And now he tosses her into the turnbuckle! He's charging for a corner splash!

Vinegar: She rolls out of the way and he just hits post! He walks out of the corner in a daze, and she's climbing up now. He may not want to turn around!

Hanson: She leaps off and grabs him by the head! Wherever she's going with this she's bringing him with her!

Vinegar: She's bringing him down in a high-impact Codebreaker! Swung his head straight into her knees, using that downward momentum for power!

Hanson: Now she hooks the leg! 1 2 3!

Mitchell: Here is your winner..GABRIELLE! MADISON! MONTGOOOOOOMMMMMMMERRRRRRRRRRRY!

Hanson: That man certainly loves to accentuate random letters.

Vinegar: He does indeed, Daniel.

Hanson: And look at Hastuings, he is slowly clapping Gabby, showing her a modicum of respect for her efforts...

Vinegar: I’m not sure that he’s impressed, to me that looks like a patronizing round of applause...

Teahouse starts to play to a great pop from the crowd as Alex Kiseragi appears at the top of the ramp, dressed casually in a white-shirt and blue jeans. The Global title belt is draped over his left shoulder, a small black bag being held in his right hand.

Hanson: Oh god this had better not be a repeat of last time.

Vinegar: I somehow doubt he’ll feel the need to do again. Alex Kiseragi here, the unexpected Unified Global Champion coming out of our Infinity Pay Per View last week. Headed down to the ring now.

Alex climbs up the steps and into the ring, taking a mic offered by Mitchell Dennis. He raises it to his lips as his music and the crowd noise quieten down.

Kiseragi: So I know what you’re thinking and we’re not going through that again.

Vinegar: See.

Hanson: Good.

Kiseragi: Well, maybe just one.

Hanson: God dammit.

Kiseragi: This time I’d just like to thank Travis Roberts for letting his ego write a cheque his lanky drug fuelled ass couldn’t cash. I owe ya one big guy.

Alex smiles broadly and lets a few laughs from the crowd die back down, adjusting the belt on his shoulder before continuing.

Kiseragi: But enough of that, it’s not why I’m here. So now I’d like to speak to the Red Bull Icon. I’m not calling you out man, just politely requesting your company down here. How about it?

There’s an uneasy pause in the arena until the unmistakable opening to The Red Bull Icons music plays and leads into Wonder What’s Next. Soon after Randy Boolzian walks out to the top of the ramp, a cigarette resting lazily between his lips. He seems reluctant to head down to the ring, out of apathy rather than anything else but eventually responds to Alex’s beckoning. He heads down and climbs into the ring the same way the Dragon had.

Kiseragi: How’s your head? Neck?

Randy says something we can’t make out as he doesn’t have a mic.

Kiseragi: No, really, it’s a genuine question. That was a bad fall.

BoolZ just shrugs and we see him mouth something else while gesturing for Alex to get on with it.

Kiseragi: Ok ok. So, we haven’t seen eye to eye in a long time, if ever. As far as I can tell though it really all went down hill when I insulted a good friend of yours. I wasn’t thinking and I’m sorry.

Hanson: Oh, how touching.

Kiseragi: But that was a long time ago. Now, we may have beaten the snot out of each other a lot of time since then, but we also showed we could be a pretty good team when we had to. You and I BoolZ, we’re on the same side here and us fighting like this isn’t going to do either of us any good in the long run. That’s why I brought you this…

Alex rests the Heavyweight title belt across the nearest turnbuckle and delves into the black bag he carried down. Moments later he reveals the Hardcore title belt, in exactly the condition it had been in on it’s last day as an official title at Horizons.

Kiseragi: At Horizons you put this on the line. You didn’t have to, but doing so showed a lot of courage and I respect that. Now you may have lost last week. Trust me, I remember Battleground, I remember Horizons, I know how you feel. But this…

He holds the belt up slightly and out towards the Red Bull Icon.

Kiseragi: No-one took this from you. You’re still the undefeated Hardcore Champion in my eyes. This belongs to you.

Alex nods and offers the belt to Randy who continues looking passive as he takes hold of it, cradling it lightly in his arms as he looks at it. He eventually notices Alex’s extended hand and hesitantly takes it, the two sharing a firm handshake in the middle of the ring. They break and Alex turns around to take the Heavyweight title belt from where he’d laid it down.

Vinegar: Oh snap! Randy Boolzian just cracked that Hardcore title belt over the back of the Dragon’s head.

Hanson: Haha, I didn’t see that coming but I loved it.

BoolZ stands over Alex, still saying things we can’t hear. The Dragon doesn’t seem to be moving as BoolZ flicks his cigarette butt onto him and slides out of the ring, heading up the ramp as the GIW referees tend to the Champion.

[T-Robosaurus Rex]

We catch up to BoolZ walking down the hallway towards his dressing room still carrying the now defunct GIW Hardcore Title belt. He’s wasting little time with his stride, but not even he can outrun sound or the cameras.

Roxy Malone: Randy, Randy, BoolZ!

The Red Bull Icon pays her no attention as she follows crying out. As BoolZ opens his dressing room door Roxy bravely puts her foot in the jam to keep it from closing. RBI turns to see the impedance. Giving Roxy a once over starting at her foot, up her leg, to her slender showing midriff, to her chest, then finally dead center in the eye.

BoolZ: Not right now lady, I got a match to get ready for.

RBI again tries to shut the door, but the persistent interviewer refuses to budge.

Roxy: No, BoolZ I’m Roxy Malone. I’ve interviewed you before.

BoolZ: Oh, in that case. Congratulations. Now get your foot out of my door.

Roxy: Why’d you do it BoolZ? Why did you attack the Unified Champion Alex Kiseragi? I think you owe the fans an explanation.

BoolZ: Yeah, well you’re wrong.

Roxy: I’m not going anywhere until I get the viewers at home their explanation. What’s happened to you?

BoolZ: You never mind what’s happened to me, but fine. You want to know why I laid out Kis-Kis? I did it because I don’t need his pity. I don’t need his insults. See being handed a belt or scheming and conniving for a belt might be enough for the Alex Kiseragi’s and Travis Roberts’s of the world, but it ain’t good enough for a Red Bull Icon.

First he loses my title, and then tries to hand me the hardcore belt. A belt that realistically he stole in the first place? Like I care about belts. Belts, not titles. See he’s got a bunch of belts right now, but the only real title he’s got is of a lying deceptive waste. Try to hand me a belt. Like I want one more reminder of where I’ve been.

But you know what maybe I’m looking at this wrong. Maybe, this can be fun. By my count he’s still got three more belts and there’s still like five weeks until the next pay-per-view. What do you want to bet that I can make him lose every one of those belts over the next few weeks?

Hell I’ll even reward his generosity, by giving him a shot at vengeance or repairing his damaged honor or whatever. I mean he’s so keen on just handing those belts away, why not actually make someone work for it. Why not accept my challenge for next week? BoolZ versus Kiseragi for the TFC belt. Now get your foot out of my door, and go make sure Boss P and A-Kis see that tape.

Roxy takes a step back as BoolZ turns around, and slams the door shut. From the other side we can still here RBI’s words.

BoolZ: Conni, look what daddy’s got for ya!


Dennis: The following contest is scheduled for one fall and is for the GIW Tag Team Championship! Introducing first the challengers…

A guy in a suit walks out to the top of the ramp.

Guy: "Cyclones are a natural part of the world. and although they occur in this world just like you or I did, they still pose a threat, GIW, this..............IS A CYCLONE WARNING!!!!!"

Hanson: Do we really need to listen to that every time this kid comes out?

Vinegar: Apparently so.

Rock you like a Hurricane starts to play and JK walks out. He stops and holds up his hands, cueing a number of pyros.

Dennis: Hailing from Townsville, Australia and weighing in a 229lbs…

Vinegar: 229? Really?

Dennis: The Cyclone, JK!

JK climbs into the ring and poses up on the turnbuckle. Phantom of the Opera starts to play. Janet walks out and starts to ‘sing’ the opening vocals. The Phantom appears in the rafters and starts to sing his part as he descends.

Hanson: I do hate opera.

Vinegar: Most people do.

Dennis: And the tag team partner weighing at 220lbs, fighting out of Melbourne Australia. The Phantom!

The Phantom and Janet finish their duet in the ring and the music dies down as Janet leaves.

The lights dim down and you hear a slow beat going. It is the 'stomp-stomp-clap' beat from 'We Will Rock You' by Queen. After a few 'claps' the lights begin to follow the beat. They get louder as the lights start to brighter. Right when the lights get back to normal and the 'clap' beat hits again, Xavier Bryan walks onto stage the slow drum beat at the beginning of 'Honor' by Atreyu begins. A red spotlight lights up the stage behind Xavier. It begins to break apart and turn into the 'Rising Sun' symbol from the Japanese War Flag. Suddenly, a hole opens up inside the symbol and Marek Daisuke springs up from under the stage and executes a perfect front-flip over Xavier before landing on one knee, one fist on the ramp, the other arm aimed somewhat behind him, head down in front of Xavier.

Dennis: And introducing the Champions! First, accompanied to the ring by Xavier Bryan. From Ishikawa Japan, weighing in at 159lbs, Marek Daisuuuuuuuuuke!!!

Marek gets to his feet and walks down the ramp with Xavier close behind. Marek stops at the end of the ramp as does Xavier. Marek then runs a few steps, jumps and grabs the top rope and springs himself into the ring. The music then merges into 'Iron Man' by Black Sabbath. The rhythmic drumming is heard, shortly followed by the 'pang' of a hammer hitting metal. The guitar joins in and about 22 seconds in the song kicks in full bore and about 34 seconds in the vocals kick in. All eyes are on the stage. A short while passes and no one appears. The lights in the arena go out and a several spotlights begins to scan the arena. The spotlights scramble around and then converge on Ezekiel Pax who is in the audience. The lights return to normal and he sprints down the aisle and hurdles the guardrail.

Dennis: And the tag team partner. From Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, weighing in at 170lbs. Ezekiel Paaaaaaax!!!

As his feet touch the ground, he springs into the ring over the bottom rope. He rolls to his feet and jumps onto a turnbuckle. Ezekiel soaks in the cheers as Marek does his pose on the opposite side. Without even looking at each other both men execute picture perfect back flips and turn towards each other. They shake hands as Ezekiel sheds his t-shirt and tosses it into the crowd.

Vinegar: Third title defence in as many weeks for the GIW Tag Team Champions War and Peace and after facing off the likes of Hiroshima and the Covenant, well, no offense to the Aussie Rebels but this may feel like a week off.

Hanson: That’s not very nice Nick, you should give them more respect.

Vinegar: Will you be?

Hanson: Hell no but I’m the bad guy.

Vinegar: Well the stars in the ring look like they’re ready to get this one going. We’re going to have Ezekiel Pax and JK starting us off. Collar and elbow tie up.

Hanson: We need a new way to get matches going. I bet one of them goes for an arm wrench.

Vinegar: Ezekiel Pax taking the upper hand with the arm wrench.

Hanson: Thought so. Now a roll out.

Vinegar: JK rolls out of it…

Hanson: *yawn*

Vinegar: JK goes to lock in an arm wrench of his own but eats a short arm clothesline from the Red Eyed Wonder. Ezekiel picking him back up, hard elbow shots and, oh! The FORE-nado, that big discus elbow shot drives JK back to the mat.

Hanson: Isn’t this technically child abuse?

Vinegar: I think he had to sign some kind of waver. Ezekiel dragging JK over to their corner and the tag to Marek. Double team move, the Spin Cycle, plants the young Australian. First cover from Marek.

1!

2!

Vinegar: No, kick out by JK. Marek with him back up, Irish Whip and that martial arts style spinning back kick on the return. Another quick tag to Pax. Springboard elbow drop back into the action. War and Peace in full control at this early stage of the match.

Hanson: What do you expect? They’re fighting a child and a ghost. If you put them together they’d be Casper the Friendly Ghost.

Vinegar: Oh yeah I see what you mean about the bad guy bit.

Hanson: Told ya.

Vinegar: Ezekiel lifting JK up into a vertical suplex, holding him there.

Hanson: Holding up that whole 229lbs.

Vinegar: You don’t really believe that do you?

Hanson: Why wouldn’t I? I know lots of 229lb 15 year olds.

Vinegar: Well I guess obesity is hitting new highs. Ezekiel drops him down with a thud and takes some time to throw up the Peace sign.

Hanson: Marek telling him to focus from the corner. Zeke boy doesn’t seem to happy about it but doing so anyway.

Vinegar: Going to bring JK back up but the Aussie Superstar fighting back, rights and lefts to the gut. Running off the ropes, shoulder block and he just bounces off The Ironman.

Hanson: It’s not often Zeke boy gets to feel like a powerhouse. He must be enjoying this.

Vinegar: I bet he is as he sends JK off to the ropes to give it another try. Another shoulder block makes Pax take a single step back. Both men off running opposite directions now and Ezekiel back with the flying back elbow knocks JK down.

Hanson: Did I just say something complimentary about that little waster?

Vinegar: I think so.

Hanson: Oh crap. Well his mother is a terrible cook. Much better.

Vinegar: Do you think anyone’s going to get that?

Hanson: They’d better do with all the backstage talk this week.

Vinegar: Ezekiel tagging his partner back in as JK pushes himself back up to his knees. Marek charging in Shining wiz- No! Ishikawa Entrapment! We haven’t seen that in a while and that triangle choke like hold is locked in.

Hanson: I’m not sure he’s going to find a way out of this one.

Vinegar: He doesn’t have to as the Phantom makes his presence felt for the first time in the match by breaking the hold. Glenn Burke trying to get him back out of the ring and War and Peace take advantage. Ezekiel back in. That just happened! That suplex 450 splash combo. Marek with the cover. Glenn Burke hasn’t seen it yet, the distraction working against them now.

Hanson: Could the Ghost actually have some ring smarts?

Vinegar: Quite possibly. Marek’s given up on the pin. Guides the referee out of the way and just knocked Phantom off the apron with a heavy forearm.

Hanson: He just bounced off the crowd barriers. He hasn’t even been tagged in and he’s got to be hurting out there.

Vinegar: Marek getting back to the matter at hand. DDT! Desperation move by JK and now both men are down.

Hanson: Burke starting his count as both men look for the tag.

Vinegar: Marek to the ropes first, tags in Pax who drives JK back down with that stomp. Off the ropes…

Hanson: GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAALLL!!!!!!!!

Vinegar: Ok you really need to cut that out.

Hanson: Screw you, you mother is a horse.

Vinegar: Annoying elongated words aside, Ezekiel with that brutal soccer kick to the prone JK. War and Peace displaying text book tag team wrestling here, cutting the ring in half and isolating one man.

Hanson: I always did hate text books.

Vinegar: That’s because you’re stupid. Irish whip by Ezekiel and a big power slam on JK. Cover.

1!

2!

Vinegar: Phantom in to break it up again. Ezekiel tagging Marek back in. The Human Missile stalking JK as he tries to get himself back up again. Missile Knee! Cover.

Hanson: Phantom with the distraction again. Referee finally sees it.

1!

2!

Vinegar: Kick out by JK on the two though the pin was down for at least eight.

Hanson: Phantom’s keeping them in this one.

Vinegar: JK really needs to make a tag. Marek’s got him back up though, whipped again. Clothesline. Ducked by JK, dropkick on the return by the Cyclone.

Hanson: Phantom’s reaching in for the tag.

Vinegar: JK dives, tags Phantom in.

Hanson: Marek gets the tag to Zeke Boy too.

Vinegar: Phantom storms in off the hot tag. Big boot to Pax. Scoop slam to Daisuke. Ezekiel sent over the top rope with a clothesline. Marek whipped into the corner. Big avalanche.

Hanson: This one looks like it may have turned around here. Titles could be at risk.

Vinegar: Phantom onto the top rope. Could be looking for the Curtain Call. No, Marek throws him off. Ezekiel back onto the top rope. Missile Dropkick.

Hanson: JK getting to his feet again on the outside.

Vinegar: Huge vaulting body press by Marek puts him back down. Ezekiel. I come in Peace! Gotta be it.

1!

2!

3!

Vinegar: Done.

Ding! Ding!

Dennis: Here are your winners and still GIW Tag Team Champions! War and Peeeeeace!

Vinegar: 3 weeks. 3 defences and War and Peace still hold the titles.

Hanson: Ah well, never mind.

Vinegar: You wanted The Aussie Rebels to win?

Hanson: I really didn’t care either way.

Vinegar: Well those young stars have proved that Horizons was no fluke. We’re going to break. Stay tuned for the Red Bull Icon going head to head with Global Challenge finalist, the Crimson Ghost.

[T-Robosaurus Rex]

The lights go out for a brief second before Cyanide Sweet Tooth Suicide starts up, and the fans rise to their feet to cheer, and wait for who they want to see. Chassie Fear comes out from backstage at a walk, slightly limping on one leg. She’s not dressed in ring gear, but dons casual clothing and a baseball bat. She heads down the ramp, and pulls herself into the ring with obvious gentleness, then over to the announcer table to ask for a microphone. She catches it and begins to speak, taking time with her words.

Chassie: I’m not really sure how to start this, namely because the medication I’m now on is starting to work, But I feel the need to explain my absence. See, coming back from infinity something happened.

She pauses to take a breath, and a closer shot of her on the big screen reveals the signs of healing bruises on her face, and various cuts and scrapes around her cheekbone, lip, and a nasty cut on her hairline.

Chassie: Coming home from Infinity, Hayleigh and I were hit by a truck. He ran a red light and smashed into the passenger’s side, my daughter’s side. We were hit so hard we actually rolled the car. I wasn’t going to even bother showing up; But my daughter, my little girl begged me to come. She said that you guys deserve to know what happened. So it’s on her behalf that I’m here tonight. GIW decided I still needed a week off to heal, even though I’d come away with cuts and minor bruising. But mostly they just wanted to make sure that I hadn’t had any trauma to my head or neck, and that I was going to be fit to compete.

She pauses, looks around her slowly, and seeing no one has dared to interrupt her continues.

Chassie: Sorry, I’m injured and paranoid. Never know when some idiot is going to try and capitalize on a moment. Hence the bat. As I was saying, though I’m alright, they’ve moved Hayleigh back home to Tallahassee, to a hospital there that can take care of her. She broke a rib and dislocated her shoulder, she’s bruised almost all over on her right side, and they said she has a moderate concussion. So, that’s all I suppose. They know who the guy was that hit us and we are pressing charges to the fullest extent of the law. So that’s all, and you’ll be seeing me soon.

She drops the mic and slides carefully out of the ring as chants of “Get well Hayleigh” start to rise.

Vinegar: Well ladies and gentlemen, a very frank disclosure from Chassie Fear on why she hasn’t been booked on this week’s show, but no doubt we will be seeing her in the ring again very soon, and the wishes of all of GIW go out to her family at this time...

Hanson: I wish in a car accident.

Vinegar: Why the hell would you say that at a moment like this?

Hanson: I thought that would be painfully clear, if I had been in a car accident I wouldn’t have to sit through the next match.

Vinegar: What? I’ve been looking forward to it since the card was first announced.

Hanson: What, Loser vs Loser, how can anyone get excited by that?

Vinegar: What a ludicrous statement! Ghost managed to get to the final of the Global Challenge and was only beaten due to interference from DJS, and BoolZ took Travis Roberts to the very limit.

Hanson: But the most important fact is, they both lost.

Vinegar: So did The Blessed One...

Hanson: Take that back...take it back right now, The Headliner was cheated and you know it.

“Crimson Ghost” hits the PA, and the fans give a greater than usual pop for the Clown Prince of GIW.

Dennis: The next match is scheduled for one fall, introducing first, the CRIIIIIIMSOOOOOON GHOOOOOOOSSST!

Hanson: I don’t suppose there is anyway I could get out of this is there?

Vinegar: Short of offering yourself up in a match with ‘Diamond’ Jack Severino I don’t think so.

Hanson: I could take him, but as you know if I got back in the ring, it could kill me.

Vinegar: I don’t really think it’s a case of ‘could’...regardless Crimson looks in good spirits despite his loss last week. There’s no playfull routine...but he does seem to have a cooler with him.

Hanson: So basically this match is going to come down to who sucks the least? That should be entertaining...even Chief Hastings feels that way, he vacated his Nigga Throne before this match...I wonder where he is?

Vinegar: Probably having a conversation with an imaginary dragon or something.

Hanson: That wasn’t Donovan...

Vinegar: Sometimes all the crazy just belts into one in my head...

The lights go dim, the sound of a Red Bull popping open, then a Zippo being struck is heard, then Wonder What’s Next by Chevelle blasts over the P.A. system. The words ‘Red’ ‘Bull’ ‘Icon” flash over the big screen giving off enough light for BoolZ to make his way to the ring with a cigarette in his lips a can of ice cold Red Bull in his hand.

Dennis: Introducing his opponent, RAAAAAAAANDY BOOOOOOOOLZIAN.

Vinegar: You gotta ask yourself how focused on this match Randy really is, he’s already laid Alex Kiseragi out in the opening moments of the show, and then challenged him to a match for the defunct TWiSTeD Fight Club Championship next week...

Hanson: Thats a good point Nick, he’s made two comparably decent decisions tonight, not good decisions mind you, chopping that thieving japs hands off would be a good decision, but a belt to the back of the head is a good start for such a bad decision maker as Randy Boolzian.

Vinegar: Both competitors are in the ring...but there seems to be a disturbance in the crowd, a group of burly men have appeared in the crowd...surrounding Donovan Hastings?

Hanson: the Lord-Chief is making an acceptance tour! Can you imagine the stories these fans will have for their Grandchildren....they will remember the night they were lucky enough to meet the true Chief Nigga!

Vinegar: Oh come on! He’s not even shaking their hands, complaining of the risk of repetitive strain syndrome, he’s having the burly security guards do it for him...he’s even got them kissing babies!

Hanson: he’s letting them breathe the same air as him, he’s letting them lay arms upon his form from only a few feet, they’ll be grateful for this. And it’s entertaining BoolZ who is watching the Lord-Chief as he parades around the arena, and Randy has an amused smirk across his face...

Vinegar: He’s distracted by this that he misses the ring bell, and continues to follow the Lord around the arena...until Ghost clicks his fingers directly in front of Randy’s face to get his attention.

Hanson: And he gets it, BoolZ quickly spinning on one leg and almost taking Ghosts head off with a high sweeping kick...

Vinegar: Ghost falls to the floor, but quickly rolls away and springs back to his feet. Runs at BoolZ, swings behind BoolZ...Crucifix Pin!...1....2...easy kick out from BoolZ....

Hanson: both man back to their feet, determined to declare themselves the least loserific...

Vinegar: BoolZ now charges at ghost, and grabs him whipping him into the ropes, as Ghost bounds back he grabs him....spinning backbreaker onto his knee....and holds Ghost out on their, stretching him with the chin...and after a few moments drops him, stomping away for good measure....

Hanson: Now BoolZ taking a breather, and a moment to look out to Hastings...

Vinegar: Oh would you look at that, are we meant to believe what we’re seeing.

Hanson: Our Lord-Chief is kneeling next to a wheelchair bound Vietnam veteran, 64 year old Larry McMarick. What’s so unbelievable about that?

Vinegar: The fact you’ve apparently been briefed on the man, I bet you could tell me his rank and regiment....

Hanson: In fact I can, he was part of the 32nd...

Vinegar: I honestly don’t want to know. Ghost is back up on his feet anyway, and has just been watching BoolZ...and has slipped out of the ring and tossed two chairs in there....he remonstrates with Hazel East that they are not for use as weapons, and sets them up facing one another in the ring...now he gets that cooler and calls to BoolZ as he opens it...and tosses the Red Bukll Icon a can of his favourite beverage...and ushers him to take a seat....

Hanson: What are they doing?

Vinegar: they are having a Red Bull break, isn’t that obvious...

Hanson: But that’s distracting from the true entertainment of the Lord-Chiefs ‘Acceptance Parade’.

Vinegar: Your as deluded as he is...nevertheless I think this is a display that Crimson Ghost still respects Randy Boolzian...

Hanson: HA! What does that tell you...BoolZ quickly downed that drink and then threw the empty can right into Ghost’s face...

Vinegar: it shows that BoolZ is becoming more petulant as the weeks go on...

Hanson: HA! That means you agree with Travis Roberts...

Vinegar: You really are deluded aren’t you...Ghost shrugs his shoulders..runs forward...jumps up onto Randy’s vacated chair and springs BoolZ grabbing his neck and swinging round dragging Randy’s body to the floor...and he then climbs to the top rope...MOONSAULT! And the cover...

1...

2...

Hanson: No! The Red bull Icon gets a shoulder up and Ghost gets back to his feet, as Randy grabs his neck...

Vinegar: Ghost showing sensible tactics there, aiming the full brunt of the attack on BoolZ’s undoubtedly sore neck after Infinity...and now he launches himself at BoolZ once more...HURRICANRANA!

Hanson: He twists and sends BoolZ somersaulting over the top rope and to the arena floor with a sickening thud.

Vinegar: he then goes for the suicide dive...but pauses and changes his mind right at the last moment...and turns to Hazel East...presenting her with a huge Button that reads ‘GIW’S No. 1 Referee (Female Category)’...she smiles as he obviously tells her a joke as he presents it...always the charmer is the Crimson Ghost...

Hanson: but he hasn’t seen Randy climb to the top rope...leaps...STARGAZER!!! This time he hit’s it! A week too late but he nails it!

1...

2...

3!!!!

Dennis: here is your winner, RAAAAAAAAAAANDY BOOOOOOOOLZIAN!!!!

Vinegar: A fairly abrupt end to that match, but when BoolZ connects with that move it’s all over for his opponent...

Hanson: And when he doesn’t, it’s all over for BoolZ...he showed a lot of guts going for it again this week....but a large amount of stupidity too...

Vinegar: Next up, Dredd vs Moss Edwards vs Raenius...stay tuned!

[T-Robosaurus Rex]

Vinegar: Folks, this next match is going to be the triple threat match, and during this match it seems we will be joined on commentary by the “Lord” Donovan Hastings.

Hastings: Thank you, Peasant Salt ‘N Vinegar.

Hanson: Hey, shouldn’t they call you the Lord-Chief?

Hastings: I’d prefer that, of course, but it might be a bit daft me yelling at him to call me the chief when he himself is not one of my niglets.

Vinegar: I’m dreading this already.

Hastings: Dredd is going to be in this match?

“Dark of the Matinee” hits in the arena, and the arena goes dark and silent momentarily, then a solitary spotlight shines near the entrance. A young man who looks like a Newsies extra squats in front of the entryway in the spotlight, holding a clapboard. He shouts action, claps it down, and the slam is punctuated by the entryway exploding in sparks and the first staccato chords of the entrance music. Moss steps through the sparks, followed by his small crew of assistants and his boom mic operator.

Dennis: The next match is a triple threat match, and is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, from Hollywood, California, Moss, “The Auteur”, EDWAARRRRRRRRRRDS!

Hastings: Did you see that?

Vinegar: See what?

Hastings: He just threw a bottle of water into the stands, and it hit one of my niglets in the head!

Hanson: So it did.

Hastings: He had best hope he never faces me.

Vinegar: You faced him at Infinity in the tournament’s first round.

Hastings: …really?

“Warmageddon” hits, and dark purple light fills the arena with a sinister and misty disdain as Raenius walks out slowly.

Dennis: Introducing next, from Northern Ireland, “The Resident Evil,” RAAAEEENIUSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!

Hastings: Wasn’t I mad at this guy last month? You guys remember why?

Vinegar: Why do you get mad at anybody?

Hanson: Don’t listen to him, Lord-Chief! Raenius kicked your dog.

Hastings: I hate dogs.

“Divine” hits. Dredd appears from backstage. Pyro goes over in a row from the top of the ramp to the ring. Lights slowly raise as Dredd walks to the ring.

Dennis: The final participant, from Deep Ellum, Texas, “The Monster”, DREEEEEAAADDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD!

Hastings: That guy shouts a lot, have you guys noticed that?

Vinegar: He’s the ring announcer, why are you even down here?

Hastings: I brought you guys a pamphlet about my new status as Lord-Chief Nigga.

Hanson: This is great!

Vinegar: It’s a torn piece of notebook paper that you wrote on with a crayon. Meanwhile, this match is underway, Owen Peterson the referee for this match-up. Moss and Dredd exchanging blows to start this match, as Raenius seems content to wait for his spot.

Hanson: Is this a Peterson Sucks Match?

Hastings: I’d rather you not speak of my favorite niglet that way.

Vinegar: Oh, so now you like Peterson?

Hastings: You talk like I’m some kind of inconsistent flip-flopper.

Vinegar: I’d LIKE to be talking about the match, as Raenius takes advantage and clotheslines both Moss and Dredd to the outside!

Hanson: But Dredd holds on to the top rope and he climbs back in, and he catches Raenius by surprise with a superkick!

Vinegar: Dredd with the cover with a lateral press!

1!

2!

Vinegar: Raenius kicks out!

Hastings: Now, would you look at this? Excuse me.

Vinegar: Where’s he going?

Hanson: Into the ring, he’s having words with Peterson!

Vinegar: Hastings is telling Peterson something, and he’s pointing at Moss Edwards as he lays on the outside!

Hanson: He’s just reminding him to count Moss out!

Vinegar: He was attending to the cover Dredd had on Raenius! Moss is coming back into the ring, but Hastings grabs him and throws him back out! Hastings is blatently interfering in this match!

Hanson: And now he’s demonstrating to Peterson how to count him out!

Vinegar: There aren’t count outs in this match! Dredd is pulling Raenius back up, but Raenius staggers him with an elbow, and HE GRABS HIM FOR THE NOWADA BOMB!

Hanson: Nevermind that, Moss is still on the outside!

Vinegar: Raenius covers Dredd! Peterson goes to count!

1!

2!

Vinegar: HASTINGS JUST DROPPED AN ELBOW AND BROKE UP THE COVER!

Hanson: Well, Peterson is supposed to be counting Moss out!

Vinegar: Hastings points out at Moss again, and now he is coming back over here!

Hanson: We’ll be graced with the presence of the Lord-Chief again!

Vinegar: Peterson is confused, but Moss slides back into the ring and it’s a moot point.

Hastings: Sorry about that, had to go help my niglet out.

Vinegar: Dredd is getting back up, but Moss knocks him down with a drop kick! He springboards off the ropes as Raenius is getting up, AND HE HITS THE DRAMATIC EFFECT!

Hastings: Geeze, you people shout too. You should worry about your blood pressure.

Vinegar: Moss shoves Dredd into the corner, he pounds away on him with right hands.

Hastings: Aw, would you look at this? Excuse me again.

Vinegar: Where are you going now?

Hanson: Peterson must have missed another call.

Vinegar: Dredd catches Moss with a reverse elbow, and now Hastings is in the ring and he grabs Moss and throws him out of the way! Hastings is pounding on Dredd, what is wrong with him?

Hanson: He’s demonstrating that you can’t use a closed fist, Nick. That’s important.

Vinegar: Moss and Raenius are exchanging blows on the far side of the ring, and now Hastings is talking at Peterson while dragging Dredd out of the corner by his head, and why this?

Hanson: He’s reminding the official that you can’t pull the hair.

Vinegar: Hastings coming back over here now, as Moss pulls Raenius into a fireman takedown.

Hastings: I’m telling you, sometimes you just have to do things yourself.

Vinegar: Like when somebody else wins a tournament.

Hastings: I don’t know what you’re referring to.

Vinegar: Moss going after Dredd, but Dredd reverses a whip and sends him into the corner, and he hits an Avalanche!

Hanson: He’s going for the Concrete Piledriver!

Vinegar: But Moss shoves him off and Dredd falls back into the ring! Moss tries to get off the turnbuckle, but Raenius is upon him and puts him into the Tarantula!

Hanson: Shouldn’t you go tell Peterson to get them out of the ropes?

Hastings: Nah, I’m tired of getting up.

Vinegar: Raenius going after Dredd now, but Dredd grabs him by the throat, BUT RAENIUS KNOCKS THE ARM AWAY AND HITS THE RIVERSNAPPER!

Hanson: THAT COULD DO IT!

Hastings: Again with the shouting?

Vinegar: Raenius is about to go for the cover, but Moss grabs him for the Flop!

Hastings: What’s with the hands?

Hanson: He’s looking for the right angle!

Vinegar: AND MOSS EDWARDS HITS THE CUTTING ROOM ON RAENIUS!

1!

2!

3!

“NIGGA HOL’ DAT’

Hanson: Every single week he finds reason to interrupt...what the hell has he found objection to this week.

Boss P: I SWEAR TO GOD IF THAT FLAPPY JAWED NIGLET DOESN’T LEARN TO SHUT HIS DAMN MOUTH IN MA’ PRESENCE, I SWEAR TO GOD, I’MMA GONNA ENSURE HE DEEP THROATS MA OUZI!

NOW BITCHES, BOSS P GOT SOME MORE NEWS FOR YA ALL, YOU SEE THIS WAS NO ORDINARY TRIPLE THREAT MATCH, DIS MATCH WAS SPECIAL...

DIS WAS A TRIPLE THREAT MATCH TO DETERMINE GIW’S VERY FIRST, GIW.COM CHAMPION, DAT’S RIGHT YOUR FAVOURITE BEAKED BOSS HAS ONCE AGAIN RISEN DA’ BAR OF DIS PLACE.

SO WIDOUT FURTHER ADIEU I PRONOUNCE DA BALDING NIGGA WID DA ENTOURAGE GIWS FIRST GIW.COM CHAMPION.

Boss P waddles into the ring to present a shocked looking Moss Edwards with the new GIW.com Championship belt, Raenius and Dredd also look stunned to find out they were in fact competing for this prize all along.

Hastings: This is a travesty!?!?!? How could GIW’s Chief Nigga not be included in such a match!

Vinegar: Folks it seems like Hastings is remonstrating openly to Boss P who merely shrugs, what I imagine to be his shoulders, and waddles back down the ring steps.

Hanson: Our Lord Chief Nigga is not looking too pleased...DESTINY’S CALL!

Vinegar: Out of nowhere Hastings just drove the new GIW.com Champions head directly into the mat, he turns and knocks both Dredd and Raenius out of the ring with a double clothesline that sends them over the top ropes.

Hanson: And now he’s locked the Hands of Fate onto Moss and he is stretching out the new champion...

Vinegar: But out of nowhere the true Chief Nigga appears in the shape of Gabrielle, and she launches her foot right into the back of Hastings skull, lifts him...DOUBLE D DDT!!! And she tosses Hastings ass from the ring, I think that ends his reign of disturbia for tonight. Gabby helps Moss to his feet, who takes a moment to use his hands to frame her face from below....then takes the title belt he won moments earlier, and lofts it into the air in triumph...stay tuned, the Ladder Match for the GIW Unified Heavyweight Championship is next!

[T-Robosaurus Rex]

Vinegar: Folks it’s time for our main event!

Hanson: Folks it’s time for Travis Roberts to take back what is rightfully his! I swear what is with these jealous fools trying to cheat out the ‘Headliner’? It’s like seemingly overnight everyone and YO MOMMA figured out they can’t beat ‘The Blessed One’!

Vinegar: Well no matter the how or why, damnit this is the first Unified title match on Sentinel and I’m thrilled to be bringing this action to the fans at home.

Dennis: Ladies and gentlemen the following contest is a LADDER MATCH for the Unified Global Title.

‘Bummer’ by Monster Magnet begins to play over the P.A. system as the fans rise to their feet with a huge slightly more favorable reception.

Dennis: Introducing first standing six foot six inches, weighing in at 220 pounds, he is the ‘Headliner’ this is Travis Roberts!

Travis emerges through the entrance way to look around the arena with a sly smirk on his face. He basks in the light for a moment before shrugging his shoulders, and strolling to the ring.

Hanson: Hero. That’s what we’re watching right now. After months of being nipped at by that child BoolZ, after that… uh internet reporter if there’s such a thing, called him that ‘big gay jap’ stole his title, and all the while being hounded by that greedy bitch MJ, admit it Travis Roberts never looked better!

Vinegar: I’ll admit Travis is playing at the top of his game, but I’ll suggest maybe he brought most of his troubles on himself.

Hanson: And that’s exactly why no one likes you.

Dennis: And his opponent, standing six foot one inch, weighing in at 198 pounds, he is YOUR UNIFIED GLOBAL CHAMPION, this is Alex ‘The Dragon’ Kiseraagggiiii!

‘Teahouse’ by Juno Reactor slowly beats in over the speakers as the champion wearing his open gi jacket showing off the Unified Global Title steps out from behind the curtain. Alex throws a few well timed kicks accompanied by the pyro until he ends with a split legged summersault to the absolute delight of the fans.

Hanson: Disgusting. I’ve never seen someone have so much nerve to blatantly flaunt their thieving ways.

Vinegar: Some would argue that Alex set up his title match a full week in advance, your hero accepted, and then he lost. I know quite a few people who don’t see anything wrong with how ‘The Dragon’ won the Unified Title.

Hanson: Yeah, well I know plenty of people who don’t think YO MOMMA isn’t that fucked in the head. That doesn’t mean those poor, poor, horses don’t suffer though.

Alex confidently strides down the ramp hi fiving and shaking almost every hand that’s offered. When he reaches the ring he jumps between the first and second rope before climbing the nearest turnbuckle to show off his Unified Title to the eager fans.

Vinegar: Folks I’d like to remind everyone that this is a ladder match, as referee Glenn Burke, hangs the belt on that hook. The hook is being raised now, and the only way to win is to take grab that belt, and have both feet on the mat.

Hanson: Blah, blah, blah, you really think anyone doesn’t know how a ladder match works?

Vinegar: Well here’s the bell, and Kiseragi wastes no time with a series of hard kicks to the midsection of Roberts.

Hanson: False start! False start!

Vinegar: The Dragon now taking those lightening fast feet to the right left leg of the taller Roberts. Trying to cut down the tree.

Hanson: More like that’s as high as shorty can get those weak kicks.

Vinegar: Well it’s a sound strategy. If Travis can’t stand, he sure as hell can’t climb that ladder!

Hanson: Are you kidding me? Travis Roberts is a god. If he so desired he could probably alter gravity and levitate to that belt.

Vinegar: Wow, just wow. And Travis to a knee, those hard kicks taking their toll!

Hanson: See, KisKis knows he done messed up now, and he’s running away!

Vinegar: Wow, Kiseragi off the ropes, could be a shining wizard…

Hanson: Travis Roberts loves the shining wizards, and I loved that big boot! That’s how you use ya feets, and that’s why I’m glad I DVR every Sentinel!

Vinegar: You DVR shows you call?

Hanson: Shit son, that wardrobe malfunction is coming, and when it does I’m not gonna be that poor schlub that only sees Gabby’s tata’s once.

Vinegar: And now it’s Roberts working over Kiseragi’s leg with those hard stomps to the knee.

Hanson: Pay backs a bitch, huh?

Vinegar: Travis now pausing to pander to the crowd. I don’t know how smart this is.

Hanson: Don’t. I put up with enough of your bullshit, don’t start doubting ‘The Blessed One’ now. Besides, this is classic. Travis is standing on that leg of Kiseragi while he looks for his post match celebration.

Vinegar: Travis finally lets up, and steps away from that leg of Kiseragi and now he’s telling the folks at ringside how great he is.

Hanson: Well maybe they don’t know. I mean everyone knows Travis Roberts is great, but maybe they don’t know how great.

Vinegar: Finally Roberts I think decides to get back to the match, and he’s taken back. Kiseragi is resting in the splits.

Hanson: Freak, if he had a set, that should hurt like a motherfucker.

Vinegar: Roberts, shrugs it off, approaches, and Kiseragi to his feet with a spinning heel kick! Roberts is down!

Hanson: Not for long.

Vinegar: Shuffle side kick, and Roberts is back down!

Hanson: It’s going to take a lot more than that! SEE! Roberts back up, KisKis tried to kick him again, and TRob caught that shi…

Vinegar: Enziguri! And The Dragon got all of it!

Hanson: I think I’mma be sick.

Vinegar: Kiseragi now to the outside. Folks here comes the ladder!

Hanson: HA HA, maybe you should have warned poor like Alex! He slides that ladder into the ring, and right into the waiting hands of Roberts!

Vinegar: The champ just got drilled by that ladder being tossed back out of the ring by Roberts. ‘The Headliner’ now joining him on the outside, and clubbing the champion with that ladder.

Hanson: You mean the pretender! That there is the real champion, and he doesn’t need a belt to prove it. He just needs sucker children to keep handing him weapons. Scratch that, he doesn’t need it, but I like it when they do.

Vinegar: Kiseragi in a world of hurt now after being pummeled by ladder.

Hanson: That’s right, don’t worry AKis fans, it’s almost over.

Vinegar: Wait, did you just acknowledge Kiseragi has fans?

Hanson: Oh yeah, he’s huge in the gay community.

Vinegar: Why’d I ask?

Hanson: Cause you never learn. Watch this, this is gonna be great!

Vinegar: Roberts setting up that ladder to bridge the ring barrier and the apron, what’s he got in mind?

Hanson: Full nelson, and I think you know what’s coming nex…

Vinegar: Kiseragi counters the full nelson slam, twists in the air, and sends Roberts to the ring post with that headscissors!

Hanson: You know, one day Travis is gonna be in an actual wrestling match with an actual wrestler, and then we can put all this flippity and ‘quicker than a hiccup’ b.s. behind us.

Vinegar: OH MY GOD! Kiseragi used that ladder like a baseball bat and sandwiched Roberts between that ladder and the ring post. Incredibly vicious shot by the champion, and I think Roberts may be out cold after that one!

Hanson: Yeah I heard that little fat model nigga, liked have overgrown shit in his hands.

Vinegar: Fat model nigga?

Hanson: Yeah, that little rainbow warrior will always be a fat model nigga to me.

Vinegar: Well Kiseragi sliding that ladder back into the ring now, without interference from Roberts.

Hanson: I hope he speeds this up a bit. This Travis Roberts on that floor right there. He doesn’t have that much time.

Vinegar: After being smashed and bashed by that ladder on the outside I think Kiseragi isn’t wasting any time. He sets it up under the belt, checks on Travis again, and begins climbing.

Hanson: He’s not gonna make it. Watch as Travis leaps onto that ladder.

Vinegar: Folks Roberts is pulling himself into the ring, I don’t think he’s going to catch the champion, who’s already half way up the ladder.

Hanson: Have faith my fat ugly annoying co-worker who is more like a leach sucking the coolness away from this booth.

Vinegar: Wow. Kiseragi on the top now, he’s reaching for the Unified Title.

Hanson: C’mon, Travis, he’s only a few rungs ahead!

Vinegar: He’s not going to catch, wait a minute!

Hanson: Damnit what the hell is BoolZ running down here for? There aint no Red Bull down here! He’s going to screw Travis out of getting back what is rightfully his!

Vinegar: BoolZ on the apron, springboard, Kiseragi has that belt, NO SPRINGBOARD TUMBLEWEED AND KISERAGI DAMN NEAR FLEW OUT OF THE RING!

Hanson: What?

Vinegar: Roberts is still on the ladder, I don’t think he knows what to make of this.

Hanson: HA, that’s an apology if I ever seen one! Gee, Mr. Roberts I’m awful sorry for wasting your time.

Vinegar: Roberts now, on the top, he’s reaching for the belt, he has it, BoolZ just took the ladder out from under Travis!

Hanson: That dirty son of a bitch! No matter, Roberts hanging from the title now, he’s got it! Travis falls to the mat with the belt, it’s over!

Dennis: Ladies and gentlemen, here is your winner, and new Unified Global Champion, Travisss Rrroooberttsssss!!!

Vinegar: What did we just see here?

Hanson: The smartest best decision he has ever made, he’s leaving back up the ramp before Travis kicks his ass again.

Vinegar: Roberts is in shock I think as he looks at BoolZ on the entrance ramp now. What the hell?

BoolZ from the entrance ramp makes eye contact with Roberts before pointing to himself. Kiseragi back to his feet, draws RBI’s attention who holds up four fingers before taking two of them away.

Vinegar: Damnit, BoolZ just cost Kiseragi the Unified Title!

Hanson: Well to be fair everyone knew as soon as this match was announced that ‘The TWiSTeD Icon’ was gonna win. BoolZ was just helping the inevitable.

Vinegar: Folks we’re out of time, join us next week, while we try to figure out just what the hell BoolZ’s problem is now!

Hanson: Hey, don’t talk about the quickest rising star in the GIW like that. Way to burst onto the scene!

Vinegar: He’s been here almost a year already, Dan.

The scene fades out with Travis smiling and pointing at Kiseragi while saying something about ‘you deal with him now.’

[T-Robosaurus Rex]

Sentinel 22/02/09 Credits

Hail To The Lord Chief

Donovan Hastings

Gabby vs Komo
Moss Edwards

A-Kis/BoolZ Confrontation
Alex Kiseragi

Randy’s Challenge
Randy Boolzian

Tag Title Match
Alex Kiseragi

Chassies Announcement
Chassie Fear

Crimson Ghost vs BoolZ
Travis Roberts

GIW.com Championship Triple Threat Match
Donovan Hastings

GIW Unified Global Championship Ladder Match
Randy Boolzian

Editor
Travis Roberts
[/center]