Post by wwjbcd on Nov 19, 2021 1:45:47 GMT -5
Tuesday, November 16, 8:00am, Chicago, Illinois, The Hitmaker Homestead (aka an affordable apartment in an alright part of town)
Johnny was stirring in his bed, about to wake up. Something, however, was amiss - the lack of noise made by Hide, who would always be up one, two hours sooner than Johnny, either working out, or eating, or eating and working out. Not this morning. Johnny shot up to a seated position, looking around with blurry eyes. Still no sounds, no movement, nothing. Slowly he turned his body, inserting his feet into his slippers, and rising to his feet. Throwing on his robe, he looks in the bathroom, then the kitchen (because he’s still a bit groggy and this should have been the first place to look for him), then ending in the living room. He sits down on the couch, turns on the tv, and mindlessly flips through the channels. He figures Hide went out for a jog; he was well aware that last night’s loss affected him quite negatively. Perhaps he just needs some fresh air and time alone. However, Johnny just so happens to look to his left, and spots a note on the side table. He has a bad feeling about it, but picks it up and reads it anyway.
“ジョニーさんへ、
おまえと一緒に来ていない。数週間前、妻と息子がまだ生きていることに気づいた。彼らのために彼らの汚い仕事をするために日本からのこれらの老人から恐喝された。彼らはおれが昨夜負けたら彼らはおれを助けるのをやめるだろうとおれに警告した。だから、自分で見つけるしかない。ごめんなさい。それらを見つけたら、おれは戻ってくるとは思えない。これはおれにとって興味深い経験でしたが、おれの家族は私にとってすべてを意味することをおまえは知っている。許してください。
ヒデより”
Johnny seethed a bit, “Just… GREAT!”
He quickly typed away on his cell to the nameless translator. After taking a photo of the letter and waiting a bit, he reads aloud the translation:
“Dear Johnny,
I haven't been forthcoming with you. Several weeks ago I discovered that my wife and son are still alive. I've been blackmailed by these old men from Japan to do their dirty work for them. They warned me that if I lost last night, they would cease aiding me. So, I have no choice but to find them myself. I'm sorry. If I find them, I doubt I will return. This has been an interesting experience for me, but you know that my family means everything to me. Please forgive me.
From, Hide”
“What… the… fuuuuuuuuuuuu-” was all Johnny could burst out.
Tuesday, November 16, 10:00am, downtown Chicago, Illinois
It took Hide a good while to get downtown on his own, what with the language barrier and his lack of knowledge of Chicago as a whole. He had become too accustomed to relying on Johnny and the nameless translator. He decided his first stop would be Temporis, the restaurant he was told by Shoichi Yanagihara and Co that his wife, Mitsuko Yamashiro, worked at. He was feeling overwhelmed by many emotions: anguish, hope, guilt, regret, sadness, anticipation, but nothing would matter, no feeling save love, in just a short while.
He mulled over in his mind what he would say first, then fear overcame him as he worried about how his wife would react to seeing him after all these years. He did wonder how they never saw him wrestle in the local promotion, the biggest one in Chicago, if not Illinois, if not the midwest as a whole. Then again, he never knew Mitsuko, Kenichi, or even himself to be a fan of professional wrestling, so it makes sense.
Finally, he stepped off the bus and followed the directions to Temporis. Luckily, it was right on that driver’s route. He wanted to move quickly, but he found his feet felt like cement. Nerves going into a dangerous match he might not walk away from? Nonexistent. Nerves reuniting with his wife he once thought dead and hasn’t seen in years? Off the charts. But soon, everything would be all right. Just a little bit longer. Just push forward. You can do it. You’re almost there. Everything will be alright.
And sure enough, Hide did in fact make it right to the front door of Temporis.
But, it was a Tuesday; they were closed.
Hide sighed an agonizing sigh. He could almost feel the tears form behind his eyeballs.
Friday, November 19, 8:00am, Chicago, Illinois, The Hitmaker Homestead (aka an affordable apartment in an alright part of town)
The alarm went off on Johnny’s phone. A couple futile days of searching left him utterly exhausted. He abruptly wakes up to turn it off. He sits up in his bed, looking very groggy. Once more he looks around his bedroom. It’s quiet. He gets out of bed, looks up into the top bunk, and it’s of course still empty. He checks his phone for any leads, as he makes his way to the kitchen. Nothing. Nobody seems to care. Or maybe, everyone recalls the couple of times Hide disappeared only to reappear days later. It’s difficult for Johnny to accept that; it’s much easier to deduce that everyone but him is a DICK. Nevertheless, he needs to act fast.
First, he brews some coffee to get him through what promises to be a long day. Without any leads, he doesn’t even know where to begin looking, outside Hide’s usual stomping grounds: the park, the UGWC Arena, that place under the bridge with all the weirdo homeless guys, every restaurant in a 10 mile radius, etc. He makes a whole pot of coffee, waits for it to cool off, then chugs it all straight from the carafe. He makes an awful face; he’s used to always having it with coffee and cream, but he was in a hurry. Nobody tell him that adding sugar and cream would have cooled it down quicker.
He heads to the bathroom, splashes cold water on his face, gets dressed, and heads on out on a futile mission.
Friday, November 19, 10:00am, downtown Chicago, Illinois
Hide once again slept poorly at a bus station where thankfully nobody wanted to mess with him overnight. The next couple of days he was overcome with a sense of hopelessness and fatigue. Twice he returned to Temporis, and twice he came up empty-handed. Nobody there wanted to divulge that somebody named Mitsuko worked there. But he saw it! He saw her working there with his own two eyes! For now, however, he needed to put that on hold. Luckily, he didn’t have too far to travel to reach his next destination: the University of Chicago. Surely there’d be no problem finding Kenichi… at a colossal home of academia… populated by well over 10,000 students.
Unfortunately, Hide had little time to ponder the daunting task that stood before him; here, he shortly found himself amidst a sea of twentysomethings who were not only fans of wrestling, but fans of the UGWC, and most importantly, fans of his. Figuring that whipping out his chains and cutting a swath through the seemingly unending swarm of youth would sully his chances at reuniting with his son, he humoured them all with photographs and autographs, but with each one, he grew more impatient, more aggravated. He finally had to lie and excuse himself to use the bathroom.
Now inside a wing of the institution, he was back to his original problem: how to find Kenichi among the seas of humanity. After failing to get any useful answers from random passersby, he opted to find his way to the administration desk and simply ask for Kenichi Yamashiro. Unfortunately, the person behind the desk couldn’t wrap their head around how Hide YAMAZAKI could be the father of Kenichi YAMASHIRO. This was getting frustrating, but he needed to keep at it. With lots of time to spare, he just wandered the halls and other sections of the university, making himself scarce when he was about to be inundated by wrestling fans.
Friday, November 19, 5:00pm, downtown Chicago, Illinois
All Johnny could really do is ask around the community, the park, under the bridge, at the UGWC Arena, call everyone he could in between stops, and hope for the best. Sadly, the best wasn’t that great; nobody had any leads… until he got downtown, where witnesses said they saw him out in front of Temporis just yesterday. He seemed dejected when he discovered they were closed. This irritated Johnny; why was Hide stopping for lunch if he was so busy trying to track down his family?
Johnny stormed off, just as the opener came up to the restaurant’s door.
It was Mitsuko.
Friday, November 19, 5:45pm, downtown Chicago, Illinois
Johnny managed to get more leads; people said they swore they spotted a man decked in a large length of chain sleeping at the nearby bus station. Others said they saw him catching a southbound bus not too long after that. So, south Johnny did head. Periodically, he would check out any local wrestling news he could find online in the hopes someone… anyone… had something… anything… of use to him.
20 minutes into his drive, a UGWC fanpage he was keeping an eye on was flooded with selfies of students posing with Hide. They were dated as being taken in the late morning. This irritated Johnny even further; so he doesn’t have time to wake him up to tell him what’s up, but he does have time to take countless selfies?! He recognized the location: the University of Chicago. There was no chance in Hell nobody there could help find him!
Friday, November 19, 6:00pm, downtown Chicago, Illinois
Exhausted, Hide was at his wit’s end and ready to call it an evening, when as he was leaving, he saw him… her… both of them! Kenichi and Mitsuko! Mitsuko was dragging him away, and he appeared to be arguing with his mother. There was a sense of urgency in her voice, but he was too far away to make out anything specifically said. His voice failed him at first. The words couldn’t come out. Finally, he screwed up all the strength and courage he could muster.
“MITSUKO! KENICHI!”
Both wife and son turned to see Hide by the entrance. A look of fear on her face, a look of confusion on his.
“IT’S ME! IT’S HIDEYOSHI!”
Mitsuko quickly looked around before shoving Kenichi into her car. Sadly, it was too late: two cars pulled up, one a nondescript black vehicle to their rear, the other a police car blocking the front. Out of the black car, Mr. Yamada, Sato, and Suzuki exited, alongside some hired goons. Hide’s eyes widened as he saw them advance on his family.
“GET AWAY FROM THEM OR I’LL KILL YOU ALL!!!” he shouted as he made a beeline for them.
Mitsuko was terrified. Kenichi seemed like he was all for it. Shoichi’s associates merely glared at the Strong Style Satanist. But once he got into range, the police officers exited tiehr cruiser, one pointing a gun at Hide, the other preparing the taser. Hide’s rage was so intense, so white hot, that whatever words the officers were shouting, they were merely muffled whispers in his ears. The one officer fired off the taser with limited effect. He repeatedly tried coursing even more electricity into the big man’s body, but all it seemed to do was slow him down and make him angrier. Two more cruisers screeched onto the scene, rushing out to dogpile Hide. It took another taser shot, multiple baton strikes, and even rubber bullets to finally take him down and get him cuffed, both hands and feet.
Johnny’s vehicle meanwhile happened to stop close by around this time. However, by the time he got close enough to see it was indeed Hide, it was too late: Shoichi’s associates drove off, leaving their henchman to chaperone Mitsuko and Kenichi in their own vehicle. They all drove away in the same direction. At the same time, Hide was unceremoniously tossed into one of the cruisers, and they all drove off in the opposite direction.
Then, Johnny was alone once more.
Saturday, November 20, 9:00am, the Chicago Police Department on Cottage Grove Avenue
Johnny called every precinct he could to inquire of the whereabouts of a large Japanese man the evening prior. Logically, he was being held at the nearest station from the university, located south of it. He sped over there and soon came face-to-face with one of the officers behind the desk.
The officer looked up at the Canadian as if his very presence was inconvenient for him. “Can I help you?”
“Yes!” Johnny barked. “As you well know, my name is Johnny Hitmaker, Canada’s Greatest Manager, you see me on tv pretty much every Monday night, and you guys have my client in custody!”
The officer rolled his eyes at the verbose and braggadocious blowhard. “And who might that be?”
“Who might that be? WHO MIGHT THAT-”
The officer cleared his throat as a warning to Johnny.
Johnny sighed, “Hide Yamazaki.”
The officer sucked his teeth, turned his chair to the side, and accessed his computer. After what seemed like too short a time, he replied, “Nope, nobody here by that name.”
Johnny shut his eyes and clenched his fist. “Hideyoshi Yamashiro then.”
Moments later, the officer’s eyes light up, “Ah, yes! That guy! You know, he gave our officers quite a headache yesterday.”
“Yeah, well,” Johnny started, “I’d very much like it if he were, you know, MY headache again.”
The officer examined the agent for a bit. “So what exactly is it you all do?”
Johnny was getting frustrated. “Wha- huh- buh- the- what do you MEAN what do we do? Hide’s a professional wrestler, I USED to be a professional wrestler, but now I’m a manager! You know, like I said a couple minutes ago: Canada’s GREATEST Manager?”
“Uh huh,” the disinterested officer replied, “Think you could manage to keep your client outta trouble for more than a day?”
“Of COURSE!” Johnny retorted, “He’s just…”
Now there was NO WAY Johnny was going to divulge the entire story to this DICK.
“...going through some stuff.”
The officer looked confused. “So, wait a minute. You guys work for who now?”
“The Unified Global Wrestling Coalition! The UGWC for short. I manage, he wrestles. In FACT, he’s SUPPOSED to have a high-profile match this Monday night!”
“Oh yeah?” was all the officer could say as he kept himself occupied on his phone.
“YES. Despite defeat after defeat, despite being knocked down not just pegs but whole TELEPHONE poles, The Coalition STILL have enough faith in Hide to keep putting him in big-time situations like he’s in at Synergy.”
The officer looked confused, but never took his eyes off his phone. “Coalition? Synergy?”
Johnny let out a sigh that sounded more like a growl. “The Coalition is short for the Unified Global Wrestling Coalition, and Synergy is the name of their Monday night show.”
The officer looked to be thinking of something. “I thought the UGWC was short for… all that you said.”
“OH FOR FU-” Johnny said before lowering his voice unprompted. “Listen. Monday night, a fellow wrestling LEGEND, Centurion, the CURRENT Conquest Champion… see, he has to defend that title EVERY show, right, and THIS week, he has to defend it against my client!”
“Oh Centurion?!” the officer said, finally taking his eyes off his phone to look at Johnny with the first bit of excitement he emitted during this entire unpleasant circumstance. “I’ve been watching him wrestle for FOREVER now!”
Johnny nodded, “Yes! He’s been at this for QUITE some time! He’s a big deal in our neck of the woods, hell, most ANY neck of the woods!”
But then, the officer looked confused again. “Okay, but, uh, answer me this: you said he was a FELLOW wrestling legend?”
Johnny didn’t like where this was heading. “Uh, YES? I TOO am a wrestling legend?”
The officer looked confused.
“I’ve been wrestling since 1999? Back in Western Canada? Done it all and THEN some? Won championship gold? Earned Hall of Fame rings? The Johnimant Species? The Pre-Millennium Wrestler? King Shit on Fuck Mountain? Canada’s Greatest Athlete?!”
The officer was at a loss for words. This irritated Johnny to no end.
“THE BOTTOM LINE IS, Centurion is a legend in this sport, and I AM a legend in this sport! But, I am retired now, and now I acquire able-bodied warriors to battle FOR me!” Johnny tries to encourage the officer to finally understand what he’s saying. “You get it now?”
The officer thought about it some more. “But one thing perplexes me: didn’t you say you were Canada’s Greatest MANAGER? But just now you said you were Canada’s Greatest Athlete. So which one is it?”
”I am going to kill you. That’s all there is to it. I hope to FUCK you can read my mind and hear me saying this to you, you goon! You cockroach! You subhuman nonentity! I will skin you alive, flay you, flense you, fricassee you, then nail your goddamned charred carcass to the front door as a warning to all other PIGS to not intentionally FUCK with me!!!“
“I WAS Canada’s Greatest Athlete, I AM Canada’s Greatest Manager!” Johnny said wanly. “Okay? And Centurion, who you seem to somehow know but not me, is the Conquest Champion, all right?”
The officer thought about it all some more. “And what’s a Conquest Championship?”
“NOBODY KNOWS!!” Johnny exclaimed. “But he’s got it, and if he can defend it five times, count ‘em, five times, he loses it - now, save your questions for the end, okay? - and he gets a shot at the BIGGEST prize in the game: The UGWC World Heavyweight Championship!”
The officer snaps his fingers and points at Johnny. “Oh! Held by Donovan Hastings!”
“YOU SONOVA-” Johnny began to shout, which garnered the attention of nearby officers. He calmed himself down and chuckled. “Right. THAT man. See, Hide USED to be the World Champion earlier on in the year, and he’s ranked among the Top Ten, nay, the Top EIGHT GREATEST World Champions of all time!”
The officer’s eyes widened as he finally put two and two together, “So… wait… this guy you say you manage… is THE ‘Deathwish’ Hide Yamazaki?!”
Johnny, utterly exhausted at this point, responded, “YES, dear God, YES! And he has a shot at Centurion’s Conquest Championship this Monday at Synergy! You got it NOW?”
“Absolutely, Mr. Hitmaker!” the officer replied.
“So can I see him NOW?!” Johnny asked with virtually no patience left in him.
“Yeah, about that.” The officer said in such a way that promised nothing good to come of it, “He’s not actually here.”
Johnny’s eyes widened, “He’s… not actually here?”
“Well, not anymore.” The officer said before taking a sip from his coffee mug.
“What do you MEAN he’s not actually here?” Johnny said as loud as he could without it being considered yelling inside a police station.
The officer leaned in. “He was here… then he WASN’T. Not sure how that’s so hard to get.”
“He’s wasting your time, you’re wasting my time.” Johnny whispered like a lunatic. “So you let him go?”
The officer laughed, “NO, we didn’t ‘let him go’! Someone paid his bail!”
Johnny clutched at the side of his face and gripped hard. “WHO?”
The officer merely shrugged.
“This is insanity!” Johnny exclaimed. “You KNOW I was looking for him!”
“And I do appreciate you taking time out of your busy schedule to tell me all that!” The officer said with very little sincerity behind his words. “Looks like you got yourself a little problem Monday night!”
Johnny truly, honestly, considered slugging the officer, but then there’d be even more issues to take care of. He spotted the container of sugar next to the officer’s coffee mug. Then, a smirk crept onto his face. “Yeah, well, you may be right there, flat-foot!”
He poured half of the container’s contents into the officer’s mug. “You may be right there.”
He then left the station. The officer pulled out his gun, but his coworker rested a hand on his shoulder, and, shaking his head, said, “Don’t do it. It’s probably not worth it.”
Johnny was stirring in his bed, about to wake up. Something, however, was amiss - the lack of noise made by Hide, who would always be up one, two hours sooner than Johnny, either working out, or eating, or eating and working out. Not this morning. Johnny shot up to a seated position, looking around with blurry eyes. Still no sounds, no movement, nothing. Slowly he turned his body, inserting his feet into his slippers, and rising to his feet. Throwing on his robe, he looks in the bathroom, then the kitchen (because he’s still a bit groggy and this should have been the first place to look for him), then ending in the living room. He sits down on the couch, turns on the tv, and mindlessly flips through the channels. He figures Hide went out for a jog; he was well aware that last night’s loss affected him quite negatively. Perhaps he just needs some fresh air and time alone. However, Johnny just so happens to look to his left, and spots a note on the side table. He has a bad feeling about it, but picks it up and reads it anyway.
“ジョニーさんへ、
おまえと一緒に来ていない。数週間前、妻と息子がまだ生きていることに気づいた。彼らのために彼らの汚い仕事をするために日本からのこれらの老人から恐喝された。彼らはおれが昨夜負けたら彼らはおれを助けるのをやめるだろうとおれに警告した。だから、自分で見つけるしかない。ごめんなさい。それらを見つけたら、おれは戻ってくるとは思えない。これはおれにとって興味深い経験でしたが、おれの家族は私にとってすべてを意味することをおまえは知っている。許してください。
ヒデより”
Johnny seethed a bit, “Just… GREAT!”
He quickly typed away on his cell to the nameless translator. After taking a photo of the letter and waiting a bit, he reads aloud the translation:
“Dear Johnny,
I haven't been forthcoming with you. Several weeks ago I discovered that my wife and son are still alive. I've been blackmailed by these old men from Japan to do their dirty work for them. They warned me that if I lost last night, they would cease aiding me. So, I have no choice but to find them myself. I'm sorry. If I find them, I doubt I will return. This has been an interesting experience for me, but you know that my family means everything to me. Please forgive me.
From, Hide”
“What… the… fuuuuuuuuuuuu-” was all Johnny could burst out.
Tuesday, November 16, 10:00am, downtown Chicago, Illinois
It took Hide a good while to get downtown on his own, what with the language barrier and his lack of knowledge of Chicago as a whole. He had become too accustomed to relying on Johnny and the nameless translator. He decided his first stop would be Temporis, the restaurant he was told by Shoichi Yanagihara and Co that his wife, Mitsuko Yamashiro, worked at. He was feeling overwhelmed by many emotions: anguish, hope, guilt, regret, sadness, anticipation, but nothing would matter, no feeling save love, in just a short while.
He mulled over in his mind what he would say first, then fear overcame him as he worried about how his wife would react to seeing him after all these years. He did wonder how they never saw him wrestle in the local promotion, the biggest one in Chicago, if not Illinois, if not the midwest as a whole. Then again, he never knew Mitsuko, Kenichi, or even himself to be a fan of professional wrestling, so it makes sense.
Finally, he stepped off the bus and followed the directions to Temporis. Luckily, it was right on that driver’s route. He wanted to move quickly, but he found his feet felt like cement. Nerves going into a dangerous match he might not walk away from? Nonexistent. Nerves reuniting with his wife he once thought dead and hasn’t seen in years? Off the charts. But soon, everything would be all right. Just a little bit longer. Just push forward. You can do it. You’re almost there. Everything will be alright.
And sure enough, Hide did in fact make it right to the front door of Temporis.
But, it was a Tuesday; they were closed.
Hide sighed an agonizing sigh. He could almost feel the tears form behind his eyeballs.
Friday, November 19, 8:00am, Chicago, Illinois, The Hitmaker Homestead (aka an affordable apartment in an alright part of town)
The alarm went off on Johnny’s phone. A couple futile days of searching left him utterly exhausted. He abruptly wakes up to turn it off. He sits up in his bed, looking very groggy. Once more he looks around his bedroom. It’s quiet. He gets out of bed, looks up into the top bunk, and it’s of course still empty. He checks his phone for any leads, as he makes his way to the kitchen. Nothing. Nobody seems to care. Or maybe, everyone recalls the couple of times Hide disappeared only to reappear days later. It’s difficult for Johnny to accept that; it’s much easier to deduce that everyone but him is a DICK. Nevertheless, he needs to act fast.
First, he brews some coffee to get him through what promises to be a long day. Without any leads, he doesn’t even know where to begin looking, outside Hide’s usual stomping grounds: the park, the UGWC Arena, that place under the bridge with all the weirdo homeless guys, every restaurant in a 10 mile radius, etc. He makes a whole pot of coffee, waits for it to cool off, then chugs it all straight from the carafe. He makes an awful face; he’s used to always having it with coffee and cream, but he was in a hurry. Nobody tell him that adding sugar and cream would have cooled it down quicker.
He heads to the bathroom, splashes cold water on his face, gets dressed, and heads on out on a futile mission.
Friday, November 19, 10:00am, downtown Chicago, Illinois
Hide once again slept poorly at a bus station where thankfully nobody wanted to mess with him overnight. The next couple of days he was overcome with a sense of hopelessness and fatigue. Twice he returned to Temporis, and twice he came up empty-handed. Nobody there wanted to divulge that somebody named Mitsuko worked there. But he saw it! He saw her working there with his own two eyes! For now, however, he needed to put that on hold. Luckily, he didn’t have too far to travel to reach his next destination: the University of Chicago. Surely there’d be no problem finding Kenichi… at a colossal home of academia… populated by well over 10,000 students.
Unfortunately, Hide had little time to ponder the daunting task that stood before him; here, he shortly found himself amidst a sea of twentysomethings who were not only fans of wrestling, but fans of the UGWC, and most importantly, fans of his. Figuring that whipping out his chains and cutting a swath through the seemingly unending swarm of youth would sully his chances at reuniting with his son, he humoured them all with photographs and autographs, but with each one, he grew more impatient, more aggravated. He finally had to lie and excuse himself to use the bathroom.
Now inside a wing of the institution, he was back to his original problem: how to find Kenichi among the seas of humanity. After failing to get any useful answers from random passersby, he opted to find his way to the administration desk and simply ask for Kenichi Yamashiro. Unfortunately, the person behind the desk couldn’t wrap their head around how Hide YAMAZAKI could be the father of Kenichi YAMASHIRO. This was getting frustrating, but he needed to keep at it. With lots of time to spare, he just wandered the halls and other sections of the university, making himself scarce when he was about to be inundated by wrestling fans.
Friday, November 19, 5:00pm, downtown Chicago, Illinois
All Johnny could really do is ask around the community, the park, under the bridge, at the UGWC Arena, call everyone he could in between stops, and hope for the best. Sadly, the best wasn’t that great; nobody had any leads… until he got downtown, where witnesses said they saw him out in front of Temporis just yesterday. He seemed dejected when he discovered they were closed. This irritated Johnny; why was Hide stopping for lunch if he was so busy trying to track down his family?
Johnny stormed off, just as the opener came up to the restaurant’s door.
It was Mitsuko.
Friday, November 19, 5:45pm, downtown Chicago, Illinois
Johnny managed to get more leads; people said they swore they spotted a man decked in a large length of chain sleeping at the nearby bus station. Others said they saw him catching a southbound bus not too long after that. So, south Johnny did head. Periodically, he would check out any local wrestling news he could find online in the hopes someone… anyone… had something… anything… of use to him.
20 minutes into his drive, a UGWC fanpage he was keeping an eye on was flooded with selfies of students posing with Hide. They were dated as being taken in the late morning. This irritated Johnny even further; so he doesn’t have time to wake him up to tell him what’s up, but he does have time to take countless selfies?! He recognized the location: the University of Chicago. There was no chance in Hell nobody there could help find him!
Friday, November 19, 6:00pm, downtown Chicago, Illinois
Exhausted, Hide was at his wit’s end and ready to call it an evening, when as he was leaving, he saw him… her… both of them! Kenichi and Mitsuko! Mitsuko was dragging him away, and he appeared to be arguing with his mother. There was a sense of urgency in her voice, but he was too far away to make out anything specifically said. His voice failed him at first. The words couldn’t come out. Finally, he screwed up all the strength and courage he could muster.
“MITSUKO! KENICHI!”
Both wife and son turned to see Hide by the entrance. A look of fear on her face, a look of confusion on his.
“IT’S ME! IT’S HIDEYOSHI!”
Mitsuko quickly looked around before shoving Kenichi into her car. Sadly, it was too late: two cars pulled up, one a nondescript black vehicle to their rear, the other a police car blocking the front. Out of the black car, Mr. Yamada, Sato, and Suzuki exited, alongside some hired goons. Hide’s eyes widened as he saw them advance on his family.
“GET AWAY FROM THEM OR I’LL KILL YOU ALL!!!” he shouted as he made a beeline for them.
Mitsuko was terrified. Kenichi seemed like he was all for it. Shoichi’s associates merely glared at the Strong Style Satanist. But once he got into range, the police officers exited tiehr cruiser, one pointing a gun at Hide, the other preparing the taser. Hide’s rage was so intense, so white hot, that whatever words the officers were shouting, they were merely muffled whispers in his ears. The one officer fired off the taser with limited effect. He repeatedly tried coursing even more electricity into the big man’s body, but all it seemed to do was slow him down and make him angrier. Two more cruisers screeched onto the scene, rushing out to dogpile Hide. It took another taser shot, multiple baton strikes, and even rubber bullets to finally take him down and get him cuffed, both hands and feet.
Johnny’s vehicle meanwhile happened to stop close by around this time. However, by the time he got close enough to see it was indeed Hide, it was too late: Shoichi’s associates drove off, leaving their henchman to chaperone Mitsuko and Kenichi in their own vehicle. They all drove away in the same direction. At the same time, Hide was unceremoniously tossed into one of the cruisers, and they all drove off in the opposite direction.
Then, Johnny was alone once more.
Saturday, November 20, 9:00am, the Chicago Police Department on Cottage Grove Avenue
Johnny called every precinct he could to inquire of the whereabouts of a large Japanese man the evening prior. Logically, he was being held at the nearest station from the university, located south of it. He sped over there and soon came face-to-face with one of the officers behind the desk.
The officer looked up at the Canadian as if his very presence was inconvenient for him. “Can I help you?”
“Yes!” Johnny barked. “As you well know, my name is Johnny Hitmaker, Canada’s Greatest Manager, you see me on tv pretty much every Monday night, and you guys have my client in custody!”
The officer rolled his eyes at the verbose and braggadocious blowhard. “And who might that be?”
“Who might that be? WHO MIGHT THAT-”
The officer cleared his throat as a warning to Johnny.
Johnny sighed, “Hide Yamazaki.”
The officer sucked his teeth, turned his chair to the side, and accessed his computer. After what seemed like too short a time, he replied, “Nope, nobody here by that name.”
Johnny shut his eyes and clenched his fist. “Hideyoshi Yamashiro then.”
Moments later, the officer’s eyes light up, “Ah, yes! That guy! You know, he gave our officers quite a headache yesterday.”
“Yeah, well,” Johnny started, “I’d very much like it if he were, you know, MY headache again.”
The officer examined the agent for a bit. “So what exactly is it you all do?”
Johnny was getting frustrated. “Wha- huh- buh- the- what do you MEAN what do we do? Hide’s a professional wrestler, I USED to be a professional wrestler, but now I’m a manager! You know, like I said a couple minutes ago: Canada’s GREATEST Manager?”
“Uh huh,” the disinterested officer replied, “Think you could manage to keep your client outta trouble for more than a day?”
“Of COURSE!” Johnny retorted, “He’s just…”
Now there was NO WAY Johnny was going to divulge the entire story to this DICK.
“...going through some stuff.”
The officer looked confused. “So, wait a minute. You guys work for who now?”
“The Unified Global Wrestling Coalition! The UGWC for short. I manage, he wrestles. In FACT, he’s SUPPOSED to have a high-profile match this Monday night!”
“Oh yeah?” was all the officer could say as he kept himself occupied on his phone.
“YES. Despite defeat after defeat, despite being knocked down not just pegs but whole TELEPHONE poles, The Coalition STILL have enough faith in Hide to keep putting him in big-time situations like he’s in at Synergy.”
The officer looked confused, but never took his eyes off his phone. “Coalition? Synergy?”
Johnny let out a sigh that sounded more like a growl. “The Coalition is short for the Unified Global Wrestling Coalition, and Synergy is the name of their Monday night show.”
The officer looked to be thinking of something. “I thought the UGWC was short for… all that you said.”
“OH FOR FU-” Johnny said before lowering his voice unprompted. “Listen. Monday night, a fellow wrestling LEGEND, Centurion, the CURRENT Conquest Champion… see, he has to defend that title EVERY show, right, and THIS week, he has to defend it against my client!”
“Oh Centurion?!” the officer said, finally taking his eyes off his phone to look at Johnny with the first bit of excitement he emitted during this entire unpleasant circumstance. “I’ve been watching him wrestle for FOREVER now!”
Johnny nodded, “Yes! He’s been at this for QUITE some time! He’s a big deal in our neck of the woods, hell, most ANY neck of the woods!”
But then, the officer looked confused again. “Okay, but, uh, answer me this: you said he was a FELLOW wrestling legend?”
Johnny didn’t like where this was heading. “Uh, YES? I TOO am a wrestling legend?”
The officer looked confused.
“I’ve been wrestling since 1999? Back in Western Canada? Done it all and THEN some? Won championship gold? Earned Hall of Fame rings? The Johnimant Species? The Pre-Millennium Wrestler? King Shit on Fuck Mountain? Canada’s Greatest Athlete?!”
The officer was at a loss for words. This irritated Johnny to no end.
“THE BOTTOM LINE IS, Centurion is a legend in this sport, and I AM a legend in this sport! But, I am retired now, and now I acquire able-bodied warriors to battle FOR me!” Johnny tries to encourage the officer to finally understand what he’s saying. “You get it now?”
The officer thought about it some more. “But one thing perplexes me: didn’t you say you were Canada’s Greatest MANAGER? But just now you said you were Canada’s Greatest Athlete. So which one is it?”
”I am going to kill you. That’s all there is to it. I hope to FUCK you can read my mind and hear me saying this to you, you goon! You cockroach! You subhuman nonentity! I will skin you alive, flay you, flense you, fricassee you, then nail your goddamned charred carcass to the front door as a warning to all other PIGS to not intentionally FUCK with me!!!“
“I WAS Canada’s Greatest Athlete, I AM Canada’s Greatest Manager!” Johnny said wanly. “Okay? And Centurion, who you seem to somehow know but not me, is the Conquest Champion, all right?”
The officer thought about it all some more. “And what’s a Conquest Championship?”
“NOBODY KNOWS!!” Johnny exclaimed. “But he’s got it, and if he can defend it five times, count ‘em, five times, he loses it - now, save your questions for the end, okay? - and he gets a shot at the BIGGEST prize in the game: The UGWC World Heavyweight Championship!”
The officer snaps his fingers and points at Johnny. “Oh! Held by Donovan Hastings!”
“YOU SONOVA-” Johnny began to shout, which garnered the attention of nearby officers. He calmed himself down and chuckled. “Right. THAT man. See, Hide USED to be the World Champion earlier on in the year, and he’s ranked among the Top Ten, nay, the Top EIGHT GREATEST World Champions of all time!”
The officer’s eyes widened as he finally put two and two together, “So… wait… this guy you say you manage… is THE ‘Deathwish’ Hide Yamazaki?!”
Johnny, utterly exhausted at this point, responded, “YES, dear God, YES! And he has a shot at Centurion’s Conquest Championship this Monday at Synergy! You got it NOW?”
“Absolutely, Mr. Hitmaker!” the officer replied.
“So can I see him NOW?!” Johnny asked with virtually no patience left in him.
“Yeah, about that.” The officer said in such a way that promised nothing good to come of it, “He’s not actually here.”
Johnny’s eyes widened, “He’s… not actually here?”
“Well, not anymore.” The officer said before taking a sip from his coffee mug.
“What do you MEAN he’s not actually here?” Johnny said as loud as he could without it being considered yelling inside a police station.
The officer leaned in. “He was here… then he WASN’T. Not sure how that’s so hard to get.”
“He’s wasting your time, you’re wasting my time.” Johnny whispered like a lunatic. “So you let him go?”
The officer laughed, “NO, we didn’t ‘let him go’! Someone paid his bail!”
Johnny clutched at the side of his face and gripped hard. “WHO?”
The officer merely shrugged.
“This is insanity!” Johnny exclaimed. “You KNOW I was looking for him!”
“And I do appreciate you taking time out of your busy schedule to tell me all that!” The officer said with very little sincerity behind his words. “Looks like you got yourself a little problem Monday night!”
Johnny truly, honestly, considered slugging the officer, but then there’d be even more issues to take care of. He spotted the container of sugar next to the officer’s coffee mug. Then, a smirk crept onto his face. “Yeah, well, you may be right there, flat-foot!”
He poured half of the container’s contents into the officer’s mug. “You may be right there.”
He then left the station. The officer pulled out his gun, but his coworker rested a hand on his shoulder, and, shaking his head, said, “Don’t do it. It’s probably not worth it.”
