Synergy #2 Results - April 12th 2010

[T-Robosaurus Rex]

Vinegar: Welcome Ladies and Gentlemen of the Internet. My name is Nick Vinegar and you’re watching brand new edition of UGWC Synergy!

The camera pans around the rabid crowd of fans as pyros erupt from the stage and ramp. The camera returns to the trio of commentators at the desk.

Vinegar: We’re one week removed from UGWC’s big opening show and this week only promises more.

Jay: Yeah bitches I’m as excited as a rat eating a marshmallow.

Lieberjosch: What?

Vinegar: If I’m getting to know my new colleagues well enough I think Covert Jay is referring to the Battle Royal for the GIW Hardcore Championship. Now as many of you will know the Hardcore title hasn’t been active since the historic three-way Unification match that took place between Travis Roberts, Alex Kiseragi and the then Hardcore Champion Randy Boolzian back at Horizons 2008. That match led to the creation of the Unified Global Championship. A title that until last week Donovan Hastings was the holder of. After the titles were split again though we need to see who will take on LWF Havok Champion Kyle Tacker at UGWC No Holds Barred.

Lieberjosch: Your facts are accurate. Congratulations.

Vinegar: Well I was here the whole time. That’s out main event though and he have a lot more great action for you before then.

Lieberjosch: Before the great action we have this.

A quick blackout, a hushed tone, and a gravel-like voice comments over the PA:

"The measure of an individual can be difficult to discern by actions alone. ”

A blast of noise as K.M.F.D.M.'s Free Your Hate blares out of the speakers. The lights come up, and Joker makes his way from behind the curtain, out to the ring. Jerry follows behind, adamantly waving to the crowd as if he were the celebrity. Joker, on the other hand, remains stoic, scowling and unimpressed.

Dennis: Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your opening contest and it scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, accompanied to the ring by Jerry. From Manchester, England, weighing in at 182lbs! The Joker, Mark Mattheeeews!!!

Upon reaching the ring, Joker vaults up, climbing the nearest turnbuckle, and pounded his chest once, twice, three times, before climbing down. Jerry takes his position at ringside to watch over the events in the ring.

Vinegar: He saw Mark Matthews make his debut last week but he never seemed to get into the match.

Lieberjosch: He was unimpressive. Not surprising given his tiny size.

Vinegar: He’s 6’ 2” you know.

Lieberjosch: And only 182lbs! He should be at least 50lbs heavier.

Bullet With Butterfly Wings begins to play for the first time in many months. Andy Savana walks out to the top of the ramp to a great cheer. Not a genuine one though. The kind of cheer you get when you drop your tray in the cafeteria. Savana shrugs it off, stretches out his neck and makes his way down to the ring.

Dennis: And his opponent! From Houston, Texas! Weighing in at 244lbs! Andyyyyy Savanaaaaaaa!!!

Savana tries to run to the ring but almost stacks it, tripping over his own foot so elects to walk instead and climbs in up the ring steps.

Vinegar: This ones almost ready to get underway but before referee Hazel East can call for the bell, Savana seems to be insisting on being frisk searched.

Lieberjosch: Why would he do this? If he has a weapon he surely wishes to keep it hidden.

Vinegar: It’s a lot more to do with an old infatuation Savana has with UGWC’s only female official. Looks like Hazel has said she’ll trust Savana this time and calls for the bell.

Ding! Ding!

Vinegar: Savana still wants that frisk search and leaves himself wide open to a running push kick from Joker that sends him into the turnbuckle. He follows up with a series of stiff forearm shots that slump him down into the corner.

Lieberjosch: They will not do the necessary damage in the long term. As stated in Article 74, small men do not have the power to grind down men over 60lbs their superior in a physical contest.

Vinegar: Try telling Joker that. He just followed that up with a brutal face washing. He just kicked him right across the face.

Jay: Hit and run. Hit and run. They won’t see you coming. Like a ninja!

Vinegar: Joker following up. He’s pulled Savana out and up to his feet. Runs to the ropes, springboard…bulldog! Driving his head into the mat. Here’s the cover.

1!


2!

Vinegar: Not enough.

Lieberjosch: He shall have to do more to defeat this man.

Vinegar: I’ve seen him defeated with less. Savana’s being dragged back up but he seems more concerned with seeing if Hazel was impressed by his kick out then any kind of countering.

Jay: I could teach him some moves. Ninja’s get all the chicks.

Lieberjosch: Really? How?

Jay: Kidnap.

Vinegar: Joker whips Savana to the ropes and hits him with a dropkick on the return. He’s heading straight for the top rope now. This could finish it. Diving Elbow!

Lieberjosch: Does not connect. As stated in Article 3. The possible benefits of the high risk offense are entirely counteracted by the risks involved.

Vinegar: Hence the name.

Lieberjosch: As shown by Matthews losing the offensive advantage due to an unnecessary manoeuvre.

Jay: Looked cool though.

Vinegar: Savana able to roll away and Joker gets nothing but mat. Savana shoots Hazel East a wink and a thumbs up before he pulls Matthews back up, hits him with a European Uppercut, followed up with a scoop slam in the middle of the ring. He’s got the legs now. Could be looking for Savana’s Chamber of Pain.

Lieberjosch: I predict if this hold is locked in the match will be over shortly after.

Vinegar: What article is that?

Lieberjosch: None. Simply common sense.

Vinegar: Well then it’s lucky for Mark Matthews he fought out of it and kicked Savana away to the ropes. He rebounds though and Joker swings round him, roll-up!

1!


2!

Vinegar: Another kick out and both men straight to their feet. Quick lock up and Savana wins out, hoists him up to his shoulders. Rolling Samoan Drop!

Jay: And macking on the hot ref again. She’s got front row tickets to the gun show.

Lieberjosch: His lack of focus is unfortunate.

Vinegar: Joker’s not giving him time to finish.

Jay: That’s low man. The Bro Code states you never cock block a Bro.

Vinegar: I doubt Matthews considers Savana a Bro. Spins him round. The Last Laugh! Just plants him. This ones over. Cover.

1!

2!

3!

Ding! Ding!

Dennis: Here is your winner! Mark Mattheeeews!!!

Vinegar: Stronger performance Joker this week. Good to see him getting into his stride.

Lieberjosch: And now that is gone we can go onto the stronger contests.

Vinegar: It’s all great competition on UGWC Synergy. Next up we’re seeing the UGWC Tag Team debuts of LWF Tag Team Champions the Brick City Boys and former GIW competitors, The Thames Valley Hit Squad.

[T-Robosaurus Rex]

Vinegar: Tag team action up now between two top teams.

Lieberjosch: Wait, I am not familiar with this Thames Valley Hit Squad.

Vinegar: Somehow they managed to slip between the cracks during intro week. The quick low-down is that the Hit Squad consists of young hopeful Dashing Duncan Ryder and grizzled veteran Ballistic Johnny Blake. Natives of London England who came to the company in January and so far have only had three matches. Two unsuccessful tag team title matches and a victory over Midday Oil.

Lieberjosch: That shall have to do.

Quick Death starts to play to the enthused booing of the arena crowd. Johnny Blake is first to storm out from the back, making a beeline for the ring. Duncan Ryder follows him out, making a much more leisurely towards the ring though this time not stopping to pose.

Vinegar: And here they come now.

Dennis: The following contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, from London, England! With a combined weight of 465lbs! The team of Duncan Ryder and Johnny Blake! The Thames Valley Hit Squaaaaaaad!!!

As they reach the ring Johnny slides under the bottom rope. A few seconds later Duncan hops onto the apron and climbs between the ropes. They pace around the ring for a moment before their music fades out and is replaced by-

Sonny Sandoval is heard over the P.A. saying "Lights out...." as the arena then goes dark. "...Word on the streets is the boys is back". The intro of "Lights Out" starts as the arena is flashing white lights and the entrance if filled with smoke. As the lyrics starts, The Brick City Boyz emerge from the smoke looking down then turn a full circle then looks out into the crowd then walks forward. They begin to shake his wrists then throw the east coast sign in the air, as pyro goes off to his sides, pointing at the crowd. They proceeds to go down the rampway high-fiving fans on each side he pause at about 5ft away from the ring and takes a breather.

Dennis: And their opponents. From New Jersey. With a combined weight of 453lbs! The LWF Tag Team Champions! David Lopes and Derick Felix! The Brick City Boyzzzzzzzzz!!!

At the bottom of the ramp the two look at one another, nod and jump up onto the apron. They slingshot themselves over the top rope and climb up opposite turnbuckles to pose.

Vinegar: We saw Derick Felix last week get a measure of revenge on Red Fusion. The man who took his LWF World title at Lockmania. Now we see him and his partner in their first display of tag team prowess here in UGWC.

Jay: And they’re all about the same size. What’re you gonna call Doctor Viking?

Lieberjosch: That’s Denmark moron. I’m Norwegian.

Ding! Ding!

Vinegar: Tag team action underway. It’s Dashing Duncan Ryder and David Hitman Lopes to start us off. Lock up, centre ring. Ryder wins out and locks in an arm wringer. Lopes counters, loops under Ryder’s arm and puts in the wringer of his own.

Jay: Boooooring.

Vinegar: This is the kind of match this will likely be. Many British wrestlers are famous for their technical ability. Ryder counters again, getting under Lopes arm and putting in a hammerlock, then straight into a headlock. Takedown over the hip. Lopes pushes out of the grip though and kips up to his feet. Lopes swings a low kick at him but Ryder lays down and dodges it.

Jay: *yawn*

Vinegar: Duncan back onto his knees and takes Lopes over with a Fireman’s Carry, straight into a rear chin lock.

Lieberjosch: I think this man may have potential.

Vinegar: He’s certainly displayed some in previous weeks. Now he’s taken control of the Champion. Not for long though. Lopes able to wriggle free and push to his feet. Front dropkick lays Ryder down. Lopes dragging him over to the Brick City Boyz corner. There’s the tag and here comes Felix. Lopes holds him open and Felix puts a shot to the abdomen.

Jay: I’ll be back in a moment.

Vinegar: Ok, wait, what?

Lieberjosch: He’s gone.

Vinegar: How does he do that?

Lieberjosch: Apparently he is a 15th century Japanese stealth assassin.

Vinegar: So he says. Anyway, back to the ring.Derick Felix taking control of this one. Unloading a series of knife edge chops, driving Ryder into a corner. Monkey Flip launches him into the middle of the ring. Felix this time going up top.

Lieberjosch: Ugh, another man who has not read my thesis. Article 3 fool!

Vinegar: Ryder getting to his feet and Felix with a missile dropkick. Ryder rolls away though at the last second.

Lieberjosch: And another exhibit of evidence that I am correct.

Vinegar: Ryder back to his feet and goes for a stomp but Felix able to spin away and sweeps his legs, straight into a lateral press. Not even a one count, Ryder throws him off. Both men back to their feet and Felix runs right into a snap power slam.

Lieberjosch: The man on the apron is barking some very loud and rude orders. I take it he’s the leader in this team.

Vinegar: He’d like to think so though so far we haven’t seen Ryder respond to him too well.

Lieberjosch: He is today however.

Vinegar: Seems so. Blake ordering to be tagged in and Ryder does so and drags Felix into the corner. Blake in now and opening up with roundhouse kicks to the lower back of Dynamite.

Lieberjosch: This direct no nonsense approach. I like it.

Vinegar: Then you may have a new favourite here in Ballistic Johnny Blake. The veteran pulls him out of the corner and hit’s a brutal backbreaker over the knee. He just watches with a smile as Felix rolls off his knee onto the canvas.

Lieberjosch: He then wastes no time dragging Felix back to his feet, and whipping him into th...

Vinegar: Dynamite manages to counter, and sends Johnny Blake into the turnbuckle, and follows him in with a running forearm smash, before diving across the ring and tagging in Hitman Lopes....

Lieberjosch: As Blake gets back to his feet Lopes swings a kick and takes his legs out from underneath him, and then follows him down, impacting on his chest with a falling elbow less than a second after he hits the canvas.

Vinegar: Blake quickly grabs hold of the bottom rope for safety and the Hitman backs off allowing Blake to get to his feet. Johnny snarls before charging at Lopes, who sidesteps, grabs hold of him, and takes him down with a Russian Leg Sweep...

Lieberjosch: Johnny Blake though restores some parity with an eyeball impacter.

Vinegar: That’s an eyerake...

Lieberjosch: Either way it’s won Blake some valuable moments, and he heads for the corner where Duncan has his hand stretched out....

Vinegar: But Derick Felix called the play well in advance and is on hand to drag Duncan from the canvas...

Jay: This match seems to have gone a little strange, less technical detail.

Vinegar: Welcome back, it’s getting to the bare bones now, things can get rough. Blake is on his feet now and he’s furious that Duncan was unable to make the tag, and is furiously screaming at his partner as he attempts to get back onto the apron...

Lieberjosch: He has every right to be annoyed, all Duncan had to do was stick his hand out, and remain on the apron, hardly rocket science.

Vinegar: And not getting distracted by your own partner in the middle of the match is Tag Team Wrestling 101, and David Lopes is gonna give Johnny Blake a small refresher....GERMAN SUPLEX WITH A BRIDGE!

1...

2...

Lieberjosch: Blake is mad eof tougher stuff than that it seems, and he kicks out and finally makes the tag, telling Duncan not to mess this up as he climbs onto the apron.

Vinegar: And Duncan manages to dodge an attempted Discus Clothesline and uses the Hitmans disorientation to roll him up in a schoolboy pin near the ropes...

Lieberjosch: Blake handing out some sterling advice from the apron, advice only a man with much experience can offer

1...

Vinegar: He’s telling him to hold his tights and put his feet on the ropes! Thankfully Duncan s not listening....

2...

Lieberjosch: And predictably due to his stupidity, he allows Lopes to kick out....

Vinegar: And Blake is furious, he is kicking the bottom rope and screaming some obscene words...well british words, I imagine they’re obscene, at his partner, who turns to respond, but before he has a chance...Lopes leaps...BLACKOUT!!!

1...

Lieberjosch: Blake into the ring...

2....

Vinegar: Derick Felix is too fast and blocks the attempt at the save...

3!!!

Dennis: Here are your winners....THE BRIIIIIIIICK CIIIIIIITY BOOOOOOOOYZZZ.

Vinegar: The Brick City Boys getting their first win as a team in UGWC, and it’s a great start for them, but the tensions in the Thames Valley Hit Squad just seem to be getting worse and worse.

Lieberjosch: because as ever, the young always think they are right, but rarely are.

Vinegar: Next up the LWF World Champion in action!

[T-Robosaurus Rex]

Vinegar: A great night that we’ve had so far here on Synergy, and we roll forward, with singles action!

“Life or Die Free” hits, and Forewell Boding emerges from backstage. He makes his way to the ring as quickly as possible, but he is always scanning the crowd, and checking his rear for any potential threats that might arise.

Mitchell: The following contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, from Chicago, Illinois, FOREWELLLLLL BOOOOOOOOOOODDDIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGG!!!

Vinegar: Boding has proven to be quite an enigmatic character, behaving unpredictably at times.

Covert Jay: Perhaps he is secretly the lost cousin of the English Enigma.

Lieberjosch: Listen, anybody that would hire a muppet for his agent has got to have a few screws loose.

Vinegar: eD cASe has been the agent for Travis Roberts for as long as I can remember.

Lieberjosch: I don’t need you to prove my points, they stand on their own.

"War Machine" hits, and Red Fusion steps out onto the stage, amidst the flashing red and blue lights. He has the LWF Title over his right shoulder, as heads down the ramp, playing to the crowd, high fiving and shaking hands. He climbs into the ring and hits the nearest turnbuckle and stretches his arms out, and then starts pounding his chest. He hops down and paces around the ring for a moment.

Mitchell: And his opponent, he is the LWF World Champion, The Master of Disaster, REEDDD FUUUUSIIIOOOOONNNNNNNN!!!!

Vinegar: Fusion got off to a slow start here in UGWC, taking the pin last week to Derick Felix, he’ll be looking to recover against Boding here tonight.

Lieberjosch: Red Fusion is a professional. He’s been a champion every where he has gone, be it LWF, UWF, XHF, XCW, now he’s in UGWC, and that extra letter is unlikely to change his luck.

Covert Jay: When did he become Apollo Creed?

Vinegar: Former LWF referee Sam Green will be overseeing this match, ready to-

“Immortal” hits, and Donovan Hastings walks out to the stage, followed a moment later by Owen Peterson, who carries both the Global Heavyweight Championship and the GIW Hardcore Championship, with one over each shoulder.

Vinegar: The Unified Champion-

Lieberjosch: Excuse you, he’s no longer a unified champion.

Vinegar: Sorry, force of habit. The GIW Unified Championship was divided last week by Dexter Vines, and Hastings is now the holder of both the Global and Hardcore Titles.

DING DING!

Vinegar: Sam Green has called for the bell, getting this match underway as Hastings is making his way down the ramp, and he obviously has a vested interest in this match.

Lieberjosch: By which you refer to the fact that Hastings and Fusion will face each other at No Holds Barred, after which one man will be left standing as the true champion of UGWC!

Covert Jay: UG…WC!

Lieberjosch: Was that necessary?

Covert Jay: It really flows better that way if you take a second to try it.

Vinegar: Boding with an arm drag takeover, transitioned into a side headlock, and he seems to be watching Hastings and Peterson closely as they come around the ring, it appears Hastings intends to join us here at our crowded announce table.

Hastings: Gentlemen.

Vinegar: Boding glancing around now at the crowd, and Fusion twists in the headlock and counters with a jawbreaker!

Lieberjosch: Beating an opponent like Red Fusion requires exquisite focus, something Forewell Boding lacks, but you know something about that, don’t you, Hastings?

Hastings: I try to ignore Forewell as much as possible, actually.

Vinegar: Fusion grabs the staggering Boding and hits the Fused Back Breaker, there’s a cover!

Green: ONE!!!!!




TWO!!!!!




Vinegar: Boding kicks out!

Lieberjosch: What I was referring to was the history between you and Fusion, as you’ve faced each other during your time in LWF.

Hastings: I think it’s important to focus on the present, and going forward.

Lieberjosch: So you lost.

Covert Jay: In a Killer Kage, no less!

Hastings: Thanks.

Covert Jay: Not a problem!

Vinegar: Fusion whipping Boding off the ropes now, and he knocks him down with a standing dropkick, and it sends Boding through the ropes right in front of us at ringside.

Hastings: Hey, Forewell! Forewell!

Lieberjosch: Don’t get his attention! We don’t need another crazy here with us!

Covert Jay: Yeah, I’m enough!

Hastings: He’s one of them, Forewell!

Vinegar: Fusion appears a bit confused, I have to admit I am a bit myself.

Hastings: Wait for it.

Vinegar: Fusion’s pointing at here at you now, AND BODING SLIDES INTO THE RING AND TACKLES HIM!

Hastings: See?

Vinegar: Forewell Boding raining blows down on Red Fusion, lefts and rights!

Lieberjosch: Nice plan.

Hastings: I’ll admit I could have seen it going either way.

Vinegar: Do you have another plan for later tonight, when you have to defend the GIW Hardcore Championship in a Battle Royal?

Hastings: Trav and I got it all worked out. And if it doesn’t work, it was Owen’s idea.

Vinegar: Sam Green manages to separate Boding from Fusion, and Boding comes off the ropes for a clothesline, but Fusion ducks under it and counters with a sleeper slam!

Covert Jay: He looks awfully happy for a guy that just got beat in the head.

Lieberjosch: I assumed that’s what happened to you, because it explains a lot.

Vinegar: Fusion grinning as he looks out again Hastings, our guest at ringside, and now he puts Boding into the Damage Plan!

Lieberjosch: You probably could tell us some first-hand insight into this hold, couldn’t you, Lord of Pain?

Hastings: I could put you in it if you want.

Vinegar: Boding struggling in the hold, but he manages to grab hold of the bottom rope…but Fusion isn’t releasing the hold!

Covert Jay: He’s always seemed a little hard of hearing.

Vinegar: Green is yelling at Fusion to release the hold, but Fusion is just staring towards our table, he’s giving Sam Green no choice, and now Green calls for the bell!

Mitchell: Ladies and gentlemen, your winner as the result of a disqualification, FOREWELL BODING!

Covert Jay: See, you don’t get your name elongated when you win by DQ.

Vinegar: Red Fusion finally letting go of Boding, and perhaps his goal here was to send a message to you.

Hastings: Yeah, that he’s an idiot. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ll go have a staredown or something.

Vinegar: Hastings leaving us, he’s headed into the ring, where Fusion has the LWF World Title, and is holding it up to the crowd, still staring at Hastings.

Lieberjosch: This is a man that has beaten Hastings before, he can’t make the mistake of underestimating him.

Vinegar: Owen Peterson entering the ring, he’s got both of Hastings’ championships, Hastings looks back at him as Peterson holds them both up.

Lieberjosch: Don’t take your eyes off Fusion!

Vinegar: RED FUSION GOES FOR THE…NO!

Covert Jay: Close call there!

Vinegar: Red Fusion went for the Virus of Life when Hastings looked away, and Hastings just barely pushed him away in time, and Fusion rolls out of the ring, and is grinning at ringside.

Lieberjosch: The Virus of Life is a devastating maneuver, and if he hits it at No Holds Barred, the reign of Donovan Hastings as Global Champion will be terminated!

[T-Robosaurus Rex]

Vinegar: We continue on here on Synergy, with a match that pits the GIW Tag Team Champions against two men that are scheduled to face each other at No Holds Barred, the LWF Cross-Hemisphere Champion and the GIW.Com Champion!

“Teahouse” hits, and Alex Kiseragi walks out to the top of the ramp where he throws two right roundhouse kicks, each accompanied by a small pyro, followed by a split legged backflip with a larger pyro. He walks down to the ring, slapping a few outstretched hands as he passes. As he approaches the ring he takes a few quick steps and jumps through the first and second ropes into a roll and up to his feet.

Mitchell: The following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, the GIW.Com Champion, The Dragon, ALEX KISSSSSSERRRRRRRRRRAGGIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!

Covert Jay: DRAGONNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!

Vinegar: Is that necessary?

Covert Jay: More so than you think.

Vinegar: In any case, Kiseragi will be teaming tonight with the man he faces at No Holds Barred, Travis Pierce, and this past week made an appearance on Pierce’s weekly show, The Piercing Truth.

Lieberjosch: And while their interactions could be described as amicable, it was clear that Kiseragi was doing nothing more than tolerating Pierce, whose immaturity far exceeds expectations.

Covert Jay: Obviously your expectations were flawed.

Lieberjosch: Nothing I do is flawed, you insolent-

Vinegar: Indeed, tonight will be a test as well as an indicator, of exactly where these two stand with each other.

“You Know My Name” plays as pyros explode on the opening rifts of the song, and as the music softens Travis Pierce comes out from backstage and walks to the ring.

Mitchell: And his partner, he is the LWF Cross-Hemisphere Champion, TRAVIS PIEEERRRRRRCE!!!

Covert Jay: You know what gets me? People around here DON’T know his name. They confuse him with that Roberts fellow for some reason. It’s false advertising.

Vinegar: Travis Roberts is a 3-Time Global Champion and once held the title for nearly a year.

Covert Jay: Yeah? That and a nickel isn’t enough to get on the subway.

Lieberjosch: And what does get you on the subway? Some stupid ninja nonsense?

Covert Jay: Don’t be ridiculous. If you bribe the platypus they let you right on.

Vinegar: Pierce has gotten himself a microphone, it looks like he wants to say something.

Pierce: Before we get underway, I’d like to thank Alex Kiseragi for being a part of what was simply one of the most provocative interviews we’ve ever done on The Piercing Truth. In fact, I think we need a follow-up interview right now. Kizzy, I’m sure you won’t mind if I call you Kizzy, I feel like we’re tight now…tell us, in your own words, what is the-

“Bury Me In Smoke” hits. All is dark and as the guitar plays, and as the music hits a riff, lights of dark purple and white rise up. They flash and swirl in random form, seeming to have no particular pattern as Raenius and Chassie Fear walk out from backstage with their titles.

Lieberjosch: Oh, THANK YOU.

Vinegar: It looks as though this interview is being cut short before it even gets underway, as the Covenant makes its entrance.

Mitchell: Introducing their opponents, representing the Covenant, the GIW Tag Team Champions, RAENIUS AND CHASSIE FEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!

Covert Jay: So why does only one partner get elongated? That feels a bit unfair.

Vinegar: I’m sure they’ll get over it, as Raenius comes in to start the match, and Travis Pierce is telling Kiseragi that he’ll start for them, Kis not looking too happy about it.

Lieberjosch: He has to learn his place. Travis Pierce carries an infamous championship with a ten year lineage, not some flimsy internet based nonsense. You know, I miss the days when the dirt sheets were just that, sheets. Nowadays there is some ridiculous and unfounded rumor posted on the internet every ten minutes. Of course, I wrote about this in-depth in Article 127 of my on-going series on the state of Sports Entertainment in the modern era.

Covert Jay: That’s some heavy sheet.

DING DING!

Vinegar: Brian Chartreuse gets our match started, Raenius and Pierce circling the ring, each man looking for an opening, and Pierce…tags out to Kiseragi?

Covert Jay: Clearly he didn’t like the expression on the face of Raenius.

Vinegar: Raenius is wearing a mask.

Covert Jay: A ninja is not distracted by such things, they are in tune with their surroundings, as well as the emotional states of others.

Vinegar: What does that have to do the fact that you can’t see through the mask?

Lieberjosch: There was a day when you couldn’t pull a stunt like that unless you first pretended you had something in your eye.

Vinegar: I don’t think Pierce really cares what Kiseragi thinks of him, which is probably for the better considering the glare Kis is giving him as he comes into the ring.

Lieberjosch: This could prove a long match for Kiseragi if he is going to get hung up on what his partner is doing.

Vinegar: Raenius looking to capitalize on the distraction with a quick superkick, but Kiseragi sidesteps it, and knocks Raenius down with a spinning wheel kick. Raenius getting right to his feet, but Kiseragi springboards off the ropes into a hurricarana!

Covert Jay: A springboard dragon attack!

Vinegar: Kiseragi rolling right to his feet near the corner, I think Pierce just made a blind tag.

Lieberjosch: He did, and it’s effective teamwork on the part of Travis Pierce, you weaken your opponent and keep yourself fresh.

Vinegar: Not sure that was the motivation there, Kiseragi hasn’t noticed, going for a cover, seems confused as to why Chartreuse is pointing out of the ring.

Lieberjosch: Well he’s simply not much of a team player, is he.

Vinegar: Meanwhile Pierce comes off the top rope with the Piercing Blow! He’s got the cover!

Chartreuse: ONE!!!!



TW-




Vinegar: Raenius shoves Pierce off!

Lieberjosch: Kiseragi just cost his team a chance to win right there, Chartreuse’s count was slowed by having to waste time getting him out of the ring!

Vinegar: I think it takes a lot more than that to keep Raenius down regardless, as Pierce is about to find out, as he goes to pull Raenius up, but the Resident Evil stands and lifts Pierce into a sidewalk slam!

Covert Jay: A true ninja warrior would bypass the sidewalk entirely and use a pavement slam.

Vinegar: Raenius ripping Pierce up off the mat as though he was a rag doll, setting up a fallaway slam, but Pierce twists his body and floats over the top, behind Raenius, and he hits a falling sleeper slam!

Covert Jay: Tremendous agility, like a true ninja!

Vinegar: Pierce taking a moment to catch his breath, the impact from that sidewalk slam taking its toll, and now he hits the ropes…and falls over them!

Lieberjosch: Because his partner is a complete waste of space! Kiseragi pulled that top rope down and made Pierce fall!

Vinegar: I’m sure he thinks Pierce deserves it, and he just shrugs his shoulders now as Pierce rolls back into the ring, as meanwhile Raenius has made a tag to his partner, Chassie Fear.

Lieberjosch: There is no tension, no troubles between the Resident Evil and the Dark Rose, they work together as a cohesive unit.

Vinegar: And Pierce learns the hard way, as he turns away from Kiseragi and right into a spinning Savate kick! Pierce falls into a neutral corner, and Chassie charges in with a running knee strike to the face!

Lieberjosch: And the blame for this can be placed firmly on the shoulders of Alex Kiseragi, who threw his partner under a bus.

Covert Jay: But it would be a simple matter for him to simply breathe a little fire and fix it.

Vinegar: …ok?

Covert Jay: Hello? DRAGON.

Vinegar: Chassie pulling Pierce to the center of the ring, setting up Twilight…BUT PIERCE TWISTS AND LIFTS HER INTO SIGNING OFF!

Lieberjosch: He’s resilient in the face of adversity! He’s basically had to fight a handicap match here!

Vinegar: That’s hardly the case, Pierce going to make a tag now actually, EXCEPT HE CHOPS KISERAGI RIGHT IN THE CHEST AND KNOCKS HIM OFF THE APRON!

Covert Jay: Does that count as a tag?

Vinegar: I think Brian Charteuse actually just signaled for one, hold on, Raenius is in the ring…FULL FRONTAL!!!

Lieberjosch: And there is NO reason for Travis Pierce to have had to suffer that, Kiseragi should have been in the ring already, again he throws his partner under the bus!

Vinegar: He’d have been in the ring if Pierce tagged his hand instead of chopping his chest, but Pierce is out of the ring now, as Raenius drags him out, and he hurls Pierce right into the barricade! Raenius stomping away on Pierce at ringside!

Lieberjosch: He’s making Pierce pay for his partner’s sins!

Vinegar: Chassie Fear getting back to her feet, but Kiseragi is in the ring, YARI KICK!!!!

Lieberjosch: Help your partner, you selfish bastard!

Vinegar: Cover!

Chartreuse: ONE!!!!!




TWO!!!!!




THREE!!!!!




Mitchell: Here are your winners, TRAVIS PIERCE AND ALEX KISSSSSSERRRRRAGGIIIIIIIIII!!!!

Covert Jay: Again with the unfair elongation.

Vinegar: Pierce and Kiseragi somehow managing to overcome their…miscommunications…to win this match, a big win over the GIW Tag Team Champions, as Raenius helps his partner from the ring.

Lieberjosch: Look at Kiseragi gloating in the ring, celebrating with the referee after the injustice his partner just suffered!

Vinegar: Brian Chartreuse is raising his hand because he just won the match, but he’s not going to celebrate for long, Pierce behind him, spins him around…

Covert Jay: THE TRUTH HURTS!!!!

Vinegar: Travis Pierce lays out Alex Kiseragi! These two men have imploded, and they’ll meet each other in three weeks at No Holds Barred!

[T-Robosaurus Rex]

Vinegar: Well it’s been one hell of a night so far, we’ve already seen the GIW Tag Team Champions defeated by a team comprised of two near strangers and The LWF World Champion basically throwing away victory and his purse to send a message to Donovan Hastings. Is tonight’s main event going to throw up any similar surprises?

Lieberjosch: The only surprising thing on show tonight is that some of these ‘competitors’ are considered athletes. That’s why so far tonight things have been so unpredictable, if you will insist on working with amateurs...

Vinegar: I don’t think there are many people out there who would agree, tonight has been all about what goes on in the ring, and it’s been a fantastic advertisement for the excitement this sport can generate.

Covert Jay: I’m surprised you know so much about what has gone down before, in the past you used to be a little unsure about matters earlier in the night, there was an...inconsistency to your behaviour. Much like my speech pattern of recent.

Lieberjosch: Did you ever happen to hear his colleague? The man spouted such nonsensical drivel I imagine Nicholas resorted to experimental drugs to cope with him, side effects probably included short term memory loss.

Covert Jay: That’d make a lot of sense, but you tend to share similar views to Daniel Hanson, which would suggest Nick would still need the medication. Having said that, he hasn’t had much to say about the first two matches of the night. What did you think of Joker vs Andy Savana Nick?

Vinegar: Talking to me now, rather than about me.

Dennis: Ladies and Gentlemen, it is time for tonight’s MAIN EVENT! In a few moments 8 men will take part in an over the top rope battle royale, when only two men remain they will fight until a pinfall or submission is recorded. The match will be fought under Hardcore Rules, and it will also be for the GIW HARDCORE CHAMPIONSHIP!!!

‘Come Together’

Dennis: Introducing first, from parts unknown, TYYYYYYYYYYYYYVVVVVVOOOOOOOLLLLLAAAA!!!

Vinegar: The first competitor to enter the ring, which is littered with foreign objects to help with the hardcore notion is a somewhat unknown quantity, this is his first competitive match up, having never competed for GIW or LWF.

Lieberjosch: That could be a real advantage for him, where as some of these guys know one another well, and can at least do research on the others, this beast of a man comes in with no record, no history, no known weaknesses and that could play to his advantage.

Covert Jay: Parts Unknown? That makes no sense, I could lis at least a dozen different people from there, yet none are able to give directions. You know, Parts Unknown, Wisconsin.

Vinegar: I don’t think that’s the point.

Covert Jay: Oh! There is a point.

“Beds are Burning”

Dennis: And next, from Queensland, Australia, PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUL COOOOOOOOCKATOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Vinegar: And now for one of the more surprising entries in this match, Paul Cockatoo. He’s spent much of his career in GIW in the shadow of his younger friend JK, this could be the night he steps out of it and into the limelight in UGWC.

Lieberjosch: I’m with the voices of dissent, what has this guy done to deserve entry into a match of this importance?

Covert Jay: Maybe if he’d written you an essay on why, you’d be happy with it?

Vinegar: What has anybody done in UGWC? We’re one show in, no-one deserves anymore than the next. It’s a new era, old victories and reputations no longer matter.

Lieberjosch: So he’s just meat in the ring? To pad it out, make the match look more exciting to the gormless? That would make a lot of sense.

“Firefly”

Dennis: From Somerset, United Kingdom....MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!

Vinegar: And here comes the first of two former LWF competitors with a chance of winning the GIW Hardcore Title tonight.

Covert Jay: Wait, he’s from Somerset? I’m going to have to listen to his promo’s more carefully from now on.

Lieberjosch: It’s his chance to prove he’s ready to be a Champion, he’s spoken about it openly, now it’s time to step up to the plate. Personally I’m sure he’ll crumble.

Vinegar: Everyone has personal opinions...

Lieberjosch: Except mine are expert opinions...

“Cochise”

Dennis: From Phoenix, Arizona....TRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAVIIIIIIIIIIIIS PIER....ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOBBBBBEEEEEEEEEEEERTSSSS!!!

Vinegar: ‘The Headliner’ making his first appearance in UGWC having been left of last weeks card, and it will be the first time he has come up against his TWiSTeD Comrade Donovan Hastings since their epic Unified Gloabl Championship match at Horizons in December.

Lieberjosch: And we’ll see the cracks in this sham of a relationship begin to form. Neither Roberts or Hastings had any interest in anyone but themselves, and tonight they will show their true colours.

“Everybody Down”

Dennis: From Deep Creek, Mississippi....JEEEEEEEEEEEEEEETT SOOOOOOOOOMMMMEEEEERSSSS!!!

Vinegar: This opportunity could not have come at a better time for Jet Somers, the former MMA Fighter has recently shown he is more committed to this industry than ever before, and is keen to become a success, victory tonight would give him his first taste of gold in Professional Wrestling.

Lieberjosch: Two of my biggest pet hates meeting, MMA Fighters and Hardcore wrestling. Hardcore wrestling has taken all the artistry and skill from our sport, and Mixed Martial Arts is just an unimaginative and uncreative form of human dog fighting.

“Phucking Phreak”

Dennis: From God Knows, Illinois....PHHRRRRRRRIIIIIIXXUUUUUUSSSS DEEEEEIIIIIIMOOOOOOOOOSSSS!

Vinegar: Formerly known as Fear in LWF, winner of the LWF World Championship and Cross-Hemisphere Championship and a multiple Tag team Champion. He knows the GIW Hardcore Champion well having been somewhat of a mentor to Donovan Hastings before turning on him.

Lieberjosch: And soon Donovan will be repeating the trick, with Travis Roberts being on the receiving end...

Covert Jay: I could have got a Ninja Donut in the time it’s taken for these guys to come out.

Vinegar: What’s a ninja donut?

Covert Jay: I had one before we went on air.

Lieberjosch: That was a banana.

Covert Jay: Exactly!

“The One You Love To Hate”

Dennis: From Las Vegas, Nevada....DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRRRRRRRRGE!!!

Lieberjosch: The most dominant man in GIW in 2010, and the creative division thought it would be a good idea to put him in a ring, littered with weapons, with some of the company’s biggest names. When they said they were innovative, I didn’t think that meant stupid.

Vinegar: Dirge has certainly had a blockbuster start to the year, but he still fell short of taking the Unified Global Title at Dark Days from Donovan Hastings.

Lieberjosch: As powerful, sadistic and brutal as Dirge is, Donovan Hastings is equally as lucky, favoured by officials and good fortuned.

Vinegar: The Lord Chief just doesn’t know when to stop, even when ‘The Momentum Killer’ threw everything in his arsenal at him.

Lieberjosch: You think that was everything The Greater Evil is capable of? You have a very tepid imagination.

“Immortal”

Dennis: From Hartford, Connecticut....The GIW Global Heavyweight Champion and Hardcore Champion.....DOOOOOOOOOOOONOOOOOOOVAAAAAAAAAAN HAAAAAAAAAAAAAASTIIIIIINGS!!!

Vinegar: Hastings isn’t taking anytime getting to the ring, which is filled with agitated bodies, all waiting for the ring bell.

Lieberjosch: I think some of them probably just want to get as far away from Dirge as possible, I wouldn’t be surprised if a few of them are intelligent enough to eliminate themselves if he comes anywhere near them

Vinegar: Hastings slides into the ring, and he’s not waiting for the ring bell, he picks up a two-by-four from the canvas and rises to slam it directly around the skull of Phrixus Deimos, who shows a brief smile the moment before the wood smashes into his face, and this match is underway...

Lieberjosch: And The Greater Evil makes his way directly towards Jet Somers, who shows a cowardly side and sidesteps the powerhouse and instead locks up with Medos nand takes him to the floor with a headlock, as Cockatoo tries to take advantage of Dirge’s istraction and swings a chair at him.

Vinegar: The Momentum Killer spots to swing in the corner of his eye, leans out of the way of the chair, and instinctively delivers a throat chop to Cockatoo who instantly crumples to the floor.

Lieberjosch: Travis Roberts is being over powered by Tyvola who has heaved him in the air and is executing a one armed bear hug, and repeatedly punching the kidney of ‘The Blessed One’.

Vinegar: Medos breaks the headlock Jet Somers has applied by reaching out for a Cheese Grater and tearing it across Somers’ forehead, shredding the skin.

Lieberjosch: Dirge picks Cockatoo up from the floor, and goes to throw him over the rope, when he see’s Somers bleeding and rising from the canvas, and he turns from Cockatoo and aims a Big Boot at the skull of Somers...

Vinegar: Who rolls out of the way, and into the legs of Tyvola, causing the Hardcore Hermit to drop Travis...Meanwhile in the other corner, Donovan and Deimos are exchanging blows. There is an intensity about Donovan that I haven’t seen before, he almost seems possessed.

Lieberjosch: Phrixus has obviously got under his skin.

Covert Jay: If you’d seen what he did to Hastings you’d know why, Deimos’ former guise was hella scary. Hence the name.

Vinegar: Dirge is stopped from pursuing Jet, as Medos slams the cheese grater into his face, sending The Momentum Killer stumbling back into the path of Paul Cockatoo who has found himself a baseball bat, which he slams across the skull of The Greater Evil, who then falls like a large oak to the canvas.

Lieberjosch: And Travis Roberts goes to the aid of his ‘friend’ Donovan, making a truly stupid error, as Hastings will not reciprocate the favour. The Blessed One slams a Kendo stick around the back of Deimos’ legs.

Vinegar: The Embodiment of Fear falls to his knees, and Hastings raises a smile before slamming an elbow into his forehead and sending his nemesis to the floor.

Lieberjosch: Unsurprisingly Hastings forgets to warn his ally Travis that Jet Somers has approached him from behind, and he executes a belly-to-back suplex without so much of a word of caution from The Lord Chief.

Vinegar: As Dirge gets to his feet Cockatoo is on the verge of being eliminated by Medos, but Dirge breaks the attempt by grabbing Medos by his hair and throwing him off Cockatoo, who falls to the canvas, and begins to get up, only to meet the towering vision of a smirking dirge, holding the very baseball bat Cockatoo used to fell him earlier...and he lowers it and viciously slams it upwards between Paul’s legs...

Lieberjosch: The Mountain Man has jumped onto the fallen Medos and repeatedly headbutts the English Enigma.

Vinegar: Jet Somers has brought Travis Roberts to his feet again once more, and he whips him into the corner, and follows him in with a spear, hitting with awesome impact underneath the Blessed One’s ribs.

Lieberjosch: Hastings has Deimos hanging over the ropes, but Red Fusion comes up behind him and breaks the elimination attempt...

Vinegar: Red Fusion? He’s not in this match, he just appeared from nowhere...

Covert Jay: No, he came down the ramp whilst you were looking elsewhere. He’s not a Ninja.

Lieberjosch: VIRUS OF LIFE! This time it Hastings can’t get out the way!

Vinegar: The LWF World Champion has just sent a message to his opponent in the Unification Battle at No Holds Barred....as he rolls out of the ring Phrixus Deimos grabs Donovan’s limp bpody, and tosses him over the top rope, and The Lord Chief lands on the floor, at the feet of Red Fusion who looks down with no expression before turning round and making his way down to the ring.

ELIMINATED: Donovan Hastings.

Vinegar: We WILL crown a NEW GIW Hardcore Champion tonight, as Phrixus Deimos looks over the rope at his former protégé, eh doesn’t see Travis Roberts comes from behind...and grabs his legs and tosses him over the top, and he joins Hastings on the outside.

ELIMINATED: Phrixus Deimos

Lieberjosch: Dirge now is engaged in aslugging match with newcomer Tyvola, both men slamming their huge hands into each others midsections, before The Momentum Killer gets the upper hand, and heaves Tyvola up and slams him down, onto a trashcan, with a powerfull Sidewalk Slam...

Covert Jay: Where have all these different weapons come from, who needs a trash can underneath a wrestling ring, it makes little sense...

Vinegar: Jet attempts to get a quick elimination on Travis, who is watching Hastings and Deimos walk up the aisle, together, their eyes locked on one another, but The Headliner manages to grab the bottom rope and roll in as Medos takes Jet down with a flying neckbreaker from behind.

Lieberjosch: Cockatoo is back on his feet, and walking with a slight hobble, and dashes over to Roberts as he rolls back into the ring, and lays his boots into him...as Dirge brings the trashcan down onto the Back of Tyvola as the hairy beast tries to get to his feet...Travis rolls out from under Cockatoo’s legs and get’s to his feet behind The Original Aborigine, grabs him from behind and executes a Full Nelson Slam...

Vinegar: Dirge turns, and see’s Travis near the ropes...BIG BOOT!

Lieberjosch: Hellacious kick from Dirge, which sends Travis spinning backwards over the top rope...

ELIMINATED: Travis Roberts

Vinegar: The three time GIW Global Champion is out of this match, and we’re down to just five men. And Dirge is surprised by both Paul Cockatoo and Medos, who both grab A LEG EACH AND BEGIN TO TRY AND TIP The Momentum Killer` out of the ring...

Lieberjosch: Dirge manages to kick Cockatoo from his right leg, and then wraps both legs around the head of Medos...and then...FLIPS OVER THE TOP ROPE!

Vinegar: Dirge keeps a hold of the top rope with both hands, releases Medos to the floor, then heaves his considerable body back onto the canvas a rolls back in...the big man showing some immense versatility there to get his second elimination...

ELIMINATED: Medos

Vinegar: Jet Somers is on the opposite side of the ring and is attempting to tip Tyvola over the top rope, but is interrupted as Dirge finally gets a blow on the former MMA Star with a forearm to the back...

Lieberjosch: Dirge then picks Jet up with a smile on his face, and swings a short armed clothesline at him, but Jet manages to duck, and takes Dirge down with a Drop Toe hold, and immediately scurries to face Tyvola, who doesn’t hesitate when taking hold of Jet’s arm, swings him into the corner, and then greets him with a thunderous avalanche...before whipping him to the opposite corner...

Covert Jay: Oooh, that move is actually in his profile!

Vinegar: Cockatoo is on his feet, and has grabbed that baseball bat once more, and he’s approaching the rising Dirge from behind, he swings...

Lieberjosch: And Dirge snatches the baseball bat from Paul’s hands, and begins laughing as he towers over Cockatoo. He then brings the bat down on his knee...AND BREAKS IT IN HALF!

Vinegar: He tosses it aside, and motions to the back...and thats Damarest...Dirge’s right hand man coming down to the ring...

Lieberjosch: Carrying a Didgeridoo?

Vinegar: I think I’ve seen that hanging in the Aussie Rebel’s locker room, it seems like a ceremonial one...looks like Dirge wants to use it to break Cockatoo, who is frozen in fear, as Dirge looks towards his delivery boy...but wait...JK!

Lieberjosch: He’s come flying out from the backstage area like a raging baboon...

Vinegar: He leaps onto the guard rail, and takes five steps before leaping over the heads of the unaware Damarest, somersaults, grabs his head....and brings it down with a DIAMOND CUTTER!

Covert Jay: The angry man looks shocked...and the guy from Scrubs has just jumped onto the top rope...

Vinegar: Cockatoo has taken to the air, and Dirge is completely distracted by the failure of his right hand man, leaning over the rope and glaring at JK who hoists the Didgeridoo triumphantly in the air...MISSILE DROPKICK TO THE BACK OF DIRGE’S SKULL!

Covert Jay: The angry man topples out of the ring to the floor below!

ELIMINATED: Dirge

Vinegar: Cockatoo cannot believe what he has just achieved, and stands dumbfounded looking down at Dirge and the to his best friend JK...

Covert Jay: Who waves at him! That’s sweet...

Lieberjosch: He’s not waving you apekatt hjerne sinke! He’s trying to warn him that Tyvola is approaching from behind...too late..Tyvola spins him round...hoists him in the air high above his shoulers...suaM OVER THE TOP ROPE!

ELIMINATED: Paul Cockatoo.

Vinegar: We’re down to the final two men now, Jet Somers is struggling up in the corner, and Tyvola turns and stares at him. Remember this match will now be decided by pinfall or submission. Glenn Burke as climbed into the ring to officiate.

Lieberjosch: My prediction at the start looks like it will come to fruition, the completely unknown quantity is on the verge of claiming the GIW Hardcore Title on his very first appearance.

Covert Jay: Huh? Hasn’t he held it before?

Vinegar: No, he’s never wrestled before.

Covert Jay: I’m pretty sure he has, for quite a long time too.

Lieberjosch: You’re clearly getting him confused with someone else.

Covert Jay: Ninja’s don’t get confused.

Vinegar: The Wild Card has found his way to his feet, but in the time it has taken Tyvola has managed to arm himself with two weapons, half the baseball bat in one hand and the cheese grater in the other.

Lieberjosch: Things are not looking great for Somers right now, as The Bearded Bastard slams the cheese grater into his face, and then follows with the baseball bat to the ribs, possibly snapping several splinters off in the skin of Jet Somers.

Vinegar: Falls to his knees and wipes the blood from his brow, and rolls out of the way of another wild swing from Ty, managing to get behind him and take his legs out from underneath him. The Hardcore Hermit’s neck is guillotined by the middle rope as he falls.

Lieberjosch: Jet Somers is fighting like a cornered animal now, he knows his time is coming and its taking every last ounce of energy for him to continue. Rather than pouncing on the downed bod of Tyvola, he has taken some time out to try and regain his composure. That’s bad tactical planning, a clear lack of foresight.

Vinegar: Tyvola indeed has closed any window of opportunity as he clambers to his feet and turns to look at Jet, who is on his knee’s rising slowly to his feet, Tyvola moves forward, ducks down beneath his opponents legs...and lifts him for an Alabama slam...INTO A TURNBUCKLE....

Lieberjosch: I think you’ll find it’s official name is the Catastrophic Cave in Causer...

Covert Jay: That’s a mouthful

Lieberjosch: Or the 3c, for those who struggle with multiple syllables.

Vinegar: Tyvola doesn’t waste time thinking about the name, and goes straight for the cover...

1...

2...

Covert Jay: Not so Catastrophic now huh? Jet kicked out with plenty of time.

Lieberjosch: Does it look like Tyvola is bothered, he’s hauled Jet back to his feet...

Vinegar: He steps back...and hits a running discus forearm...

Lieberjosch: The Wrong Way War Hammer.

Vinegar: Whatever it’s called, straight after it’s execution Tyvola suddenly turns to the outside, and he’s screaming at the outside, telling somebody to get backstage...I’m not sure who’s caused him such offence...

Lieberjosch: Must be one of the officials...

Covert Jay: There aren’t any officials over there, and the fans on that side seem to have gotten behind both guys.

Vinegar: Well, after screaming at the top of his voice, he seems vaguely satisfied now, as he stares up the entrance ramp. After a moment he turns and picks up a chair, and sets it up in the middle of the ring.

Lieberjosch: I bet he has something suitably insane lined up, that’s the best way to introduce yourself in this industry, make everyone’s jaw drop.

Vinegar; he once again hauls Jet to his feet, and turns him to face the chair, before wrapping an arm around his neck and shoulder...

Lieberjosch: here comes the Magus...

Vinegar: NO! Jet has other idea’s, he breaks the hold by kicking his leg backward, and hitting Ty directly in the groin, doubling the big man over...Jet runs onto the chair, leaps off it onto the middle rope, and then springs back....JETSTREAMER!!!

1...

2...

3!!!!

Dennis: Here is your winner....and NEW GIW HARDCORE CHAMPION...JEEEEEEEEEEEETTTTT SOOOOOOOOMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRSSSS!

Covert Jay: Huzzah! A New Champion.

Vinegar: inde3ed a new champion has been crowned, and Jet rolls from Tyvola’s downed body and lays looking at the arena lights, as Glenn Burke presents him with the title he gets to his knee’s and hoists the title in the air. I don’t think anyone ever imagined Jet Somers would embrace the industry so much that he would become Hardcore Champion, a division far from his initial principles on joining this world...

Lieberjosch: Did he even use a weapon? I’m not a fan of Hardcore wrestling, but surely the Champion of the division should be fairly apt with weaponry.

Vinegar: You’ve obviously never seen him wielding a ring bell. But regardless of that, Jet Somers tonight proved that his body is the only weapon he needs, and he beat a host of top stars to gain this honour, on what has been an incredible edition of Synergy. I hope you have all enjoyed the show, and will log on next week as the Entertainment Professionals of UGWC, including our New GIW Hardcore Champion, continue the journey to unification and No Holds Barred. GOODNIGHT!

[T-Robosaurus Rex]

Credits

Joker vs Savana
A- Kis

BCB’s vs TVHS
A-Kis

Boding vs Fuson
Hastings

The Covenant vs A-Kis and Travis Pierce
Hastings

Main Event
T-Rob

Editor
T-Rob

[Jet Somers]

OMG!

This is so... PERFECTLY IRONIC FOR JET!

lol

And yet, it fits perfectly.

This show, despite the unusual lack of segments, was incredible. All action from beginning to end.

I enjoyed the commentary a little more this week, I'll admit. Loved Covert Jay's constant kayfabe breaking, and although I still am irritated by Hans, I'm starting to get it... I loved Hanson, even as the heel announcer, but you can't love Hans. And that's why he works.

All the matches were solid, lots of exciting action without any slumps or lulls. Everyone writer was on their game this week, and I'm really feeling the joining of the rosters as seamless.

I'm really excited to see where the next three weeks will take us, as I can feel so many story elements launching from here for everyone.

Great job guys!

[Alex Kiseragi]

Woop, congrats Jet. I was kinda hoping you'd win.

Good show. Sorry I bailed on the end of the tag match. Whoever finished it did a better job then I would have anyway.

I think my favourite thing for the night, besides beating the Covenant was the Red Fusion/Donovan Hastings build-up. I liked how that went between the two matches.

Think that's all I've got for now.

[andysavana]

My match was way too long.

[Lord Hastings]

How's next week your opponent comes down, gives you a noogie, and pins you?

We also have the options of a sneeze into the eyes, or a roshambo.

We aim to please.

Thankyoudrivethrough.