Massive Melee 2022

[UGWC Staff]

Vinegar: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Bridgestone Arena here in Nashville, Tennessee!!! We are here for the UGWC Massive Melee!!

Covert Jay: HUTTAH!

Leiberjosch: That's right folks! We have an incredible card in store for you tonight!

Vinegar: JC will take on a rival of his in Shane Donovan. Dave Rydell will challenge Vespertine for the Cross-Hemisphere Championship.

Covert Jay: The unlikely team of Holden Orson and Phrixus Diemos will challenge for the UGWC Co-Operative Titles against the reigning, and long time defending Champions, The Baltimore Elite!

Leiberjosch: And we will see Tempest defend his World Championship against the Icon of Entertainment, Travis Pierce!

Vinegar: And not only that, we will see many stars, past, present, and here for the first time compete in the Massive Melee match!!

Covert Jay: HUTTAH!!!! DRAGONS AND TIGERS AND LIONS AND BEARS!

Lieberjosch: Oh my...

Vinegar: Indeed. Let's get to this incredible card!

[UGWC Staff]

Vinegar: Let’s get to the action with our opening match. JC versus Shane Donovan!
 
Leiberjosch: Is JC ever going to make a full comeback? Or is he just going to use us as a place to fight his grudge matches?
 
Covert Jay: So what if he does?
 
Leiberjosch: He was a good fit on the roster. Couldn’t hurt to come back and actually go for the big one.
 
Vinegar: Well, go tell him yourself. He’ll be here in a few minutes.
 
“God In Extension” by Jack Maw hits over the speakers and Shane Donovan steps out onto the stage. He looks at the crowd, who is booing him, and just smirks before sauntering down the ramp to the ring. Shane slides into the ring, not giving a single care about fanfare or anything else except his opponent.
 
Mitchell Dennis: The following contest is scheduled for one fall…
 
Crowd: ONE FALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
Mitchell Dennis: Introducing first, weighing in at 225 pounds…. The Man Made Monster…….SSSHHHAAAAAANNNNNEEEEEE DDDDOOOOOONNNNNOOOOOOOVVVVVVAAAAAAAANNNNNNN!!!!!!!!
 
 
The lights suddenly drop, and in the silence, Ghost's "Hunter's Moon" to play with its haunting melody. 

The music builds and lights flash, leading up to the chorus, signaling an arrival.
Though my memories have faded
They come back to haunt me once again
And though my mind is somewhat jaded now
It's time for me to strike again tonight
It's a hunter's moon
 
'The Bogeyman' JC steps out onto the stage, staring out at the audience and wearing a Michael Myers mask over his had, having embraced his new ghoulish persona. He watches the crowd react to him and then begins walking steadily to the ring. He enters the ring and climbs up to the middle rope, before ripping the mask off of his head and staring out at the audience. He then returns to the ring and prepares for his match.
 
 
Mitchell Dennis: And his opponent, from East Rutherford, New Jersey, weighing in at 255 pounds… he is the Boogeyman……JJJJJJAAAAAAYYYYYYYY CCCCCEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!
 
 
Vinegar: And there they are. Let’s get this match underway!
 
 
 
 
DING DING DING
 
 
 
Both men lock up in the middle of the ring. Shane Donovan hits a standing switch before JC can realize it, and gets behind him. Shane hooks under one of JC’s arms and goes for the other to get a Full Nelson but JC is able to stop it. Shane settles for the half and gets the other arm in a hammerlock. JC cannot move!

 
Vinegar: JC is in a precarious state right now! Unable to move the arm, but luckily able to stop Shane from locking in the full nelson.
 
Leiberjosch: Indeed. Another reason why he has the brains to stick around in this company instead of having these little one shots!
 
Covert Jay: Holy shit, I get it now. Why they call it a full nelson or a half nelson. Wow!
 
Vinegar: How long have you been a commentator?
 
Covert Jay: Longer than I shoud’ve been.

 
Shane wrenches back on JC, pressing on his neck but JC is able to get free. He stomps on Shane’s foot and starts elbowing away! JC pops his neck real quick and charges at Shane! He topples him over the top rope with a massive lariat that carries them both over!

 
Vinegar: And that is the type of move that will get you eliminated at the Massive Melee!
 
Leiberjosch: Luckily, that’s not happening just yet. *wink*
 
Covert Jay: OH BUT IT WILL BE, GOOD DOCTAAAA!
 
Leiberjosch: You truly are special…
 
Covert Jay: You better believe it!
 

Both Shane and JC crash to the floor below but get up rather quickly as it’s very early on. JC comes at Shane with a flying forearm smash but Shane ducks under it. JC lands right on his feet, but turns right into a short arm lariat from the Man Made Monster!
 

Covert Jay: BOOGEYMAN!
 
Vinegar: Yup. Just got taken down by Shane Donovan!
 
Leiberjosch: Neither one of them is giving the other any breathing room here.
 

Shane pulls JC up and whips him right into the barricade, but JC stops himself and throws back a wild elbow. He; luckily for him; smashed it right into Shane’s face! Shane staggers back and JC turns, and hits a perfectly timed bulldog on Shane! RIGHT ONTO THE STEEL STEPS! JC grabs Shane and rolls him back into the ring under the ropes.         
 

Covert Jay: I don’t care what anyone says. Those steps hurt when you slam your head on them.
 
Leiberjosch: Don’t do that then…
 
Covert Jay: It’s not intentional.
 
Vinegar: Both men are luckily getting back in the right now.
 
 
JC follows under the ropes and goes for a quick cover but Shane kicks out after a 1 count. JC pulls up Shane and whips him into the corner. But before JC can reach Shane, Shane is already back out and hits a hard body tackle on JC! Shane pulls JC up and hits him with a double underhook neck breaker! Shane grabs JC and whips him off the ropes and follows up with a back body drop!
 

Vinegar: A textbook back body drop from Shane Donovan.
 
Leiberjosch: I hate to say it but that was a beautiful move.
 

Shane drops down with an elbow drop onto JC’s chest. He pulls JC back up and whips him into the corner. JC slams into the corner hard, but comes back out and hits a massive clothesline on Shane Donovan! Both men are down but JC gets up to a knee and takes a minute.
 
 
Vinegar: JC taking some time to regroup. And I think after all the years of pain and brutality his body has been through, he’s wrestling a bit smarter these days.
 
Leiberjosch: What explains the rooftop match he had with the Chaos Champion not too long ago?!
 
Covert Jay: YEAH! WHAT OF IT, NICKY V?!
 
Vinegar: Jay, can you go get us some nachos?
 
Covert Jay: HUTTAH! *smoke bomb*

 
JC pulls Shane up and sends him off the ropes, but reversal! JC rebounds off the ropes and swings for a clothesline, but Shane ducks under it. JC rebounds but runs right into a sidewalk slam from Shane! Shane keeps on top of JC and hooks the leg, but only gets a 2 count out of it. Shane sits upright and lets out a deep breath. He gets up and pulls JC up.
 
 
Leiberjosch: That was smart, sending Jay to get snacks.
 
Vinegar: Sometimes you just need a new method. Like JC is figuring out right now. His original plan was clearly not working.
 
 
Shane sends JC into the corner, and charges to follow up with a clothesline. He hits it! JC staggers out of the corner and Shane hits a spinning side slam. Shane stomps on JC’s chest and heads to the corner. JC rolls over and starts to get up while Shane climbs to the middle turnbuckle.
 
 
Vinegar: Ariel moves? In this match? Didn’t think this would happen!
 
Leiberjosch: You and me both! But here we are!
 
 
Shane Donovan comes off of the second rope with a double axe handle but JC catches him in midair with a knee to the gut! Shane doubles over and JC grabs the back of his head and pulls it back, slamming him to the mat. JC drops down with a hard elbow. Shane quickly tries to sit up but JC comes at him with a clothesline to the mat.
 
 
Vinegar: JC with a hard clothesline! That was quite the way to keep his opponent down!
 
Leiberjosch: He is doing it all!
 
 
JC pulls Shane up and sends him into the corner. He sits Shane on the top rope and tries to set him up for a superplex but Shane punches him, countering out. Shane pushes JC off the top and he lands right on his back on the mat. Shane stands up, trying to steady himself on the top rope, but doing so very slowly as he isn’t a high flyer. JC is up fast and dives and hits the top rope, causing Shane to fall on the top rope, crushing the goods!
 

Leiberjosch: OH MY GOD!!!! WOW!!!!! Shane Donovan just felt the absolute worst feeling of all time.
 
Vinegar: I do not envy him right now. Not one freaking bit.
 
 
Shane falls forward off the top rope and JC catches him on the way down for a DDT! JC drags Shane to the middle of the ring and goes for a belly to back suplex but Shane counters! Shane wastes no time before hitting the Wrist Clutch Exploder Suplex!!!! Both men are now down in the middle of the ring as Hazel East starts her count!
 

Vinegar: Hazel East is giving these two some leeway but also playing fair. She didn’t deal with the countout at ringside but she is going to keep it clean in the ring. She understands the rivalry here.
 
Leiberjosch: And it’s giving the people what they want to see! An actual fight!

 
Hazel reaches 7 before both competitors start rising up. Shane Donovan is up first and JC is up next. Shane swings for JC but JC blocks it and hits a right jab. Shane staggers back and swings for a right hook but JC dodges it. JC runs the ropes and as Shane turns around he hits him with Dance Macabre!!! JC went down with the move too but is able to get right back up.
 
 
Covert Jay: AYYYYY MACARENA!!!!!!
 
Vinegar: When did you get back?!
 
Covert Jay: Just now. Just in time to see the Boogerman hit the jerk face with the dancing macaroni.
 
Leiberjosch: Jay, you should record a podcast.
 
Covert Jay: You think?
 
Vinegar: No. Please.
 
 
JC pulls Shane up but Shane elbows him in the midsection. JC staggers back and comes right for Shane with a knee strike to the head. JC pulls Shane up and pulls him in for Schism but Shane counters out of it! Shen gets behind him and locks in the Clincher!!!!! Shane pulls back and applies more pressure but JC can’t escape! Shane fully locks in the hold with the body scissors and pulls back! JC is slowly fading!
 
 
Vinegar: This cannot be good! He is slowly fading!
 
Covert Jay: WAKE UP BOOGEY MAN, OR YOU’LL HAVE TO GET YOURSELF!
 
 
Hazel East asks JC if he quits but he doesn’t response. So she picks up the arm of JC and drops it, and it falls. She picks it up one more time and drops it but JC stops it from falling all the way! JC tries to fight out and hits Shane where he can! Eventually it’s enough for Shane to loosen the hold and JC to break free! JC rolls away and hits a falling double axe handle on the downed Shane Donovan!
 
 
Vinegar: JC is doing everything in his power to get this match put away!
 

JC wastes no time in pulling Shane back up. He picks Shane up for Schism again but Shane counters out. He counters JC right into The Paradigm Shift! But wait! JC counters out of that!!! He lifts Shane up for Solitaire Unraveling!!!!! JC nails it and covers Shane Donovan! Hazel East slides into position!
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
1!!!!!!!!!!!
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
2!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
DING DING DING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
 
 
Mitchell Dennis: Here is your winner…….THE BOOGEYMANNNNNNN……JJJJJAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYY CCCCCCCCEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 

Vinegar: JC did it! JC did it! He put down Shane Donovan after a hell of a wrestling match!
 
Leiberjosch: Indeed he did! Just continuing to prove why he deserves a spot on the roster, permanently.
 
Vinegar: Folks we will be right back! Out next contest will be for the UGWC Cross-Hemisphere Championship!

[UGWC Staff]

EARLIER TODAY...


Zane Scott is shown arriving to the arena after being out of action since Battleground. He has a mean, menacing look on his face as he walks through the halls with his bag slung over his shoulder. He is stopped by Roxy Malone who is ready to get the first words from him in months!


Roxy Malone: Zane! First of all, welcome back! How do you feel after being gone so long?


Zane Scott: ...get out of my way.


Roxy Malone: Any thoughts on the Melee tonight? What are your plans?


Zane starts to walk off but stops and looks back.


Zane Scott: Win.


Zane continues down the hall way as Roxy stands back, wishing she had more of a conversation.

[UGWC Staff]

The lights in the arena fade to black. Suddenly, the opening to "My Will be A Deadman" by Project 86 blares through the arena. The light strobes flash white with the beat of the song. Once the song picks up, the lights flash white and red as Dave Rydell steps out onto the stage, much to the approval of the crowd. He stretches out his arms as his four veteran friends step out behind him, each with a hand held weapon (lead pipe, crowbar, baseball bat, and a kendo stick). Dave Rydell walks down the ramp way, glaring at the ring. The four follow down. They reach the bottom of the ramp and Dave turns around, fist bumps all four of them before climbing into the ring. He climbs up the furthest turnbuckle and tosses his shirt into the crowd, taunting out at them. His four pals spread out at ringside, ready to fight, should it be necessary. Dave hops off the turnbuckle and pops his neck, waiting for his opponent to come out.

Mitchell Dennis:This match is for the UGWC Cross hemisphere championship. First the challenger, from Fredericksburg, VA….DAVE RYDELL!

(the sound of a Japanese flute starts out playing quietly over the loudspeakers and the lights go down. The Tron comes up and we see two armies standing face to face on a battlefield. The flute continues playing and the camera on the Tron gets closer to the two armies. The camera cuts scene\'85)\line\line (the camera cuts back to a scene of two armies. The Japanese flute plays louder. Both armies are huge and they are an army of shogun, ronin, and samurai. As the army walks forward a single figure comes into view and emerges from the line. The figure raises their sword and as one the entire army stops. The figure runs forward and gets atop a boulder to look out. The camera goes over their shoulder and we see the other army standing as a wall in the distance. The figure/leader takes off their helmet and long black hair tumbles out from it and flows all around, sometimes waving and weaving in places where the wind catches it. The figure turns and looks at the army behind them and we see it is Vespertine. She raises her sword and roars in fury. Camera cuts scene and the Japanese flute stops)

(camera cuts back to scene of her army raising their own swords and shouting in fury. The camera pans back quickly and she does the motion of forward with her sword and the camera goes up and we see her entire army run forward to join in the fray below. The song "Diamond Eyes" starts up and then goes straight into the song.)

(Suddenly the spotlights in the arena come up and we see a lone figure standing at the top of the ramp. One arm is raised and we see it is Vespertine and she is standing facing the entrance curtains. She spins around rather quickly and at the end of the turn she points at the audience where upon a couple of pyros go off on each side of her. She stands at the top of the ramp looking around at the audience. Then suddenly she reaches her hands out to them as if to encompass their souls and fire pillar pyros go off behind her. She saunters on down to the ring, stepping in time to the music. She wears black wrestling shorts, a black wrestling sports top with purple sequins which reveals her midriff and abs, black wrestling boots, her black trenchcoat duster and black sunglasses. She slides in underneathe the ropes, takes off her sunglasses and looks around at various spots with a feral like look in her eyes and slightly licking her lips. We see she has heavy glitter around her eyes and a heavy dark turquoise black (or other color) eyeliner. She crawls seductively like a cat to the other side of the ring and then suddenly jumps up and spreads her arms out and lands in an "V" like pattern where upon at each corner of the ring, showers of sparks come flying out. She looks around, still with the feral look in her eyes, and takes off her trenchcoat duster and and gives it to a person outside the ring and goes to sit on the turnbuckle facing the ring entrance until the match starts)

Ring Introduction: And his opponent, hailing from San Francisco, Ca, she is the Well Rounded Fighting Machine, the Asian Invasion VESPERTINE!!!!

Nick Vinegar: Before we get the action started, I’d like to introduce my temporary partner on commentary for this title defense. Ladies and gentlemen, making his debut behind the table, former UGWC World and Chaos champion Tony Savage.

Tony:Appreciate it, Nick. Different feel with the headset on. Yeah, tonight’s looking to be a banger. Red hot newcomer and Cross-Hemisphere champion Vespertine defending the strap against one of the most accomplished vets in the company in Rydell. I’m expecting this match to be fast, hard hitting, and very, very close. Will it be Dave’s strength and toughness that gets him the dub tonight, or will Ves keep using her speed and martial skills to defend the gold?

The official calls for the bell to ring starting the match, and both Rydell and Ves waste no time getting after it. Rydell laces into Ves’ hest with a knife egde chop, and Ves retorts with the same. Both wrestlers decide to hack on each other for several moments before Dave eventually drops her to a knee with a particularly nasty strike. He whips Ves into the turnbuckle, quickly following up with a running elbow to her head. Rydell headbutts her to the ground, then drops an elbow on her chest.

Nick: Rydell’s wasting no time or motion. Relentlessly digging into Vespertine early.

Tony: Take it from a guy that’s been in the ring with him; Dave gets rabid dog once he smells blood. Dude can be quite relentless.

Rydell pulls Ves to her feet, then spins her around with another chop. He Irish Whips her into the ropes, but misses with the clothesline attempt. Ves springboards off the ropes while Rydell recovers from the missed shot, and turns around right into a leg lariat that puts him down. When he rises, Ves knocks him back to the mat with a crescent kick.

Nick: Great counters by Vespertine. Her striking game looks superb.

Tony: Wrestling fans always ask me “Tony, why do you implement MMA and boxing into your style?” Versatility. Vespertine’s got an alternate skill set that comes in handy in situations like this. Great striking and quick reflexes.

Ves tries to whip Rydell into the turnbuckle, but he reverses it easily, and ves slams into the post. When Rydell charges at her, Ves sidesteps him, and the turnbuckle shakes violently when Rydell slams into it chest first. Ves leaps onto his shoulders behind him, and flips him over the ropes onto the ground below. She takes her time, waiting for Rydell to get on his feet…

The crowd roars when Ves leaps at Rydell with a plancha, and both wrestlers are down.

Nick: High risk, high reward attack!

Tony: Sometimes, I really hate watching high flyers. It makes my knees feel creaky! But yeah, that’ll knock some of the gray off Dave’s beard.

Ves is up first as the ref is counting. She knees Rydell in the face, Dave grabs her arm and flings her right into the ring apron! He doesn’t waste time, hoisting her in the air with a gorilla press, then drops her face first onto the ground! He rolls her back into the ring, wiping a bit of blood off his lips, then gets back into the ring before a count out. He starts stomping on Ves.

Nick:Rydell back on the offensive, and he’s not letting her catch even a breath while he stomps on her.

Tony: You simply can’t with a wrestler as quick and cagey as Vespertine. You give her even a split second to react, she can end a match in an instant.

Rydell picks Ves up, boots her in the midsection, and slams her onto the mat with a sitdown powerbomb! Rydell makes the first cover of the match…

1…..2…..Kickout by Vespertine!

Tony: Not quite enough impact! Damn, he tried to plant her into the canvas with that one.

Rydell slaps the mat in frustration, then is back on the offensive. He decks Ves with a forearm shot that puts her on one knee. Rydell hits her again, and she stumbles backwards into the turnbuckle,, and Rydell starts stomping her in the chest. Ves slumps down into the seated position, Rydell picks her back up and delivers a snap suplex. He climbs the turnbuckle while she’s still down, sizing up his shot. He goes for it all with the RYDELL BOMB…

Miss! Ves rolls out of the way, and Rydell lands on nothing but canvas on his descent.

Nick: Dave rolled the dice on that, and came up short.

Tony: That’s the danger of a high flying offense. When it works, it’s devastating to an opponent. When it doesn’t, it’s YOU that’s gotta go see the chiropractor the next morning to get adjusted.

Both competitors are struggling to get back on their feet. Rydell is up first, and tries to take a swing at Vespertine. She blocks his punch, locks him into a Muay Thai clench, and goes to work on him with alternating knees to the midsection. She finishes her flurry with a knee to his face. He stumbles onto the ropes, and Ves flies at. Vespertine connects with a beautiful floatover DDT that drops Rydell on the top of his head. Vespertine makes her first over attempt.

1….2….No! Kickout by Rydell

Nick: Another close call!

Tony: Already a back and forth affair. Everytime it seems one opponent’s got the advantage, it gets negated. These two are really digging deep to stay in this match.

Ves wipes sweat from her forehead, then locks in a Half Boston Crab and wrenches on Rydell’s knee. She’s got the hold locked in, but Rydell is pushing a lot of horespower to rawl to the ropes.

Tony: Smart play by the champ. Dave loves to move a lot in the ring. If she can break that leg down, even without getting the sub, she can hamper a lot of his offense.

Dave struggles to get to the ropes, but makes it. Ves releases her grip, and Rydell is clutching his leg.She stomps on his wounded limb a few times, and as Rydell is trying to stand, Ves ricochets off the ropes….

Rydell springs up and nearly takes her head off with a superkick with that wrenched leg! Cover by Rydell, this could be it…

Uno….Dos….Tre…NADA! Ves kicks out right before the hand hits the mat.

Nick: I thought that was a sure knockout blow. He nearly sent Ves into row 5 with that kick!

Tony: Yeah, Ves should be asleep after that kick, but great heart from her to recover from that shot.

Dave is visibly upset that didn’t do the trick. Ves is still down, so Rydell makes his move to the turnbuckle. He climbs up, attempts another Rydell Bomb, and this time it finds the mark. Rydell takes a moment to recover, then hooks the leg.

1….2….2.86…NO! Vespertine kicks out!

Nick: Unbelievable! I thought that was the end there.

Tony: When a championship is on the line, wrestlers tend to dig deep and find a way. Vespertine is not giving up at all. Dave might have to literally knock her out to get her to stop!

Dave, still limping a bit gets up and throws her into the turnbuckle. He hacks at her with more chops, then hoists her up for a snap suplex. But Ves slips out of the hold, lands behind Rydell…

SHE CONNECTS WITH BREAKING THE BANK!

Nick: That could be it! She hooks the leg…

One Mississippi….Two Mississippi….Thre….NO MISSISSIPPI! Rydell kicks out!

Nick: Good God! They have been hitting each other with bombs all match, and still no one can break this deadlock.

Tony: Rydell’s a tough son of a bitch, and Ves is proving without a doubt she’s champion material. Frankly it’s going to come down to either sheer luck or a slip up for one of these fighters to fall tonight.

Both fighters are visibly exhausted, but Ves gets the drop first, lacing up Rydell’s leg with kicks.She bounces off the ropes, but Rydell catches her, forcing her onto the ground…

DAVE RYDELL WITH THE RYDELL LOCK!! He cranks on that neck as Ves tries to reach for a rope break.

Tony: There it is! Ves made just a tiny mistake, and now she’s in a world of hurt. She could tap any moment now.

Rydell has that lock cinched in for a full minute, but Vespertine absolutely will NOT tap. Her faces is turning slightly blue and Rydell continues to apply pressure.ves is trying with waning strength to reach the ropes….she finally does! The ref forces him to break the lock, and Dave is looking at Ves in shock!

Tony: I thought that was last call! Holy crap, she survived a torture chamber.

Nick: Folks, this has been a true test of fortitude from both Dave and Ves tonight. Whoever wins deserves without a doubt to wear that title belt. Unbelievable action tonight.

Tony: It’s a show stealer, alright.

Ves is clutching her neck in pain, Rydell is slow to stand on that bad leg of his. Rydell stumbles back, stomping the mat. He charges at Ves, looking to hit the Rydell stomp and put this match to bed, but he misses! His leg buckles a bit, and a staggering Vespertine takes advantage. Standing dropkick stuns Rydell for a moment, giving her enough time to hit EPICALLY DIVA! Cover by Ves for the win…

ONE….TWO….THREEEEE….NO! Rydell kicks out, and this audience is on pins and needles right now!

Tony: So…so close! If Ves hadn’t spent those few seconds shaking those cobwebs out, this match would be over now!

Nick: Regardless of who wins tonight, this has been an incredible title match. Both fighters using technical skill and flat out athleticism to gain the advantage, but neither seem to be able to break through.

Tony: Despite weight and strength differences, both Rydell and Ves match up well. Speed striking, willingness to go to extremes. Fantastic effort from both at Massive Melee.

The crowd is encouraging both of them at the top of their lungs to keep going. Both rise to their feet at the same time,and start exchanging punches and kicks in the middle of the ring. Rydell finally gets the advantage with a knee to her stomach, followed by a DDT. Rydell is gingerly moving, obviously worn out, but it doesn’t stop him from dragging Ves to the nearest turnbuckle and hoisting her up. He tries for a Superplex, but Ves is desperately wailing on him until he relents. She shoves Rydell off the turnbuckle,and catches Rydell with a beautiful moonsault. She makes the cover….

One….Two….

Rydell counter rolls her.

One…Two…No! Ves kicks out!

Rydell rears back, readying another superkick. When he comes forward….THEY BOTH LAND A SUPERKICK! Ves and Rydell and flat on their backs, and everybody in the arena is shocked.

Nick: We could end up with a double knockout tonight. Nobody is willing to give any ground in this match!

Tony: They both could end up with an ambulance giving them a ride from the arena. They are just tearing into each other. This is what championship time is all about; going to limits you never thought you could reach.

Both the champ and challenger are near total exhaustion. Ves dropkicks Rydell into the turnbuckle, and marches over to continue the assault. But Rydell flings her instead into the post. He picks her up and places her on top of the turnbuckle. Rydell climbs up and tries to hit a superplex, but Ves is resisting with what strength she has left. Both competitors are slugging it out for what seems like forever. Rydell finally hoists her up for the killshot, they both fall…

And both fighters have each other rolled up with their shoulders down on the mat! The ref makes the count.



ONE…



TWO….



FINALLY A THREE!

But, there’s confusion on the part of the official. They’re not quite sure who had their shoulder up, if they had their shoulder up, and the crowd is waiting with baited breath on the decision.

Tony: Shit! I’m not sure who’s got this now. I hate these damn moments.

Nick: The ref is wisely checking the monitor, trying to determine from the replay who to declare the winner, and from this angle we have, it honestly doesn’t look like anybody had their shoulder up before three.

Tony: It’s a crap shoot at this point; this match could easily be declared a draw.

The ref spends several minutes reviewing footage, and in the end, makes the decision. Both fighters are standing in the ring waiting, when the ref decides…to RAISE RYDELL’S HAND IN VICTORY!

Mitchell: Your winner, and NEW UGWC Cross Hemisphere Champion….DAVE RYDELL!!

Nick: Literally a photo finish. *the replay shows within nanoseconds of the final 3, Dave barely gets a shoulder up in the entanglement.* This was one of those matches just destined to end in this type of finish.

Tony: Dave either had Spider Sense, or got lucky. Wow, that palm was almost on canvas when he made his move. This was truly a fight anybody could have won.

[UGWC Staff]

BACKSTAGE...


Holden Orson is shown walking towards guerrilla, but alone. He is looking for his partner and seems a bit anxious about it. As he turns the corner to go up the steps, he damn near bumps into Phrixus! 


Holden: Fancy seeing you here.


Phrixus stays silent and gives an ever so slight nod. They turn and head up the steps.


Holden: You know, you're allowed to talk backstage. That's a real thing.


Phrixus again stays silent as they go through the curtain and we cut back to the arena.

[UGWC Staff]

('Clint Eastwood' by Gorillaz plays over the PA. After about 20 seconds, the lyrics start and Holden Orson strolls from backstage onto the main ramp, escorted by his Manager Waldo. The music plays and highlights clips from his previous feuds and random Jan Wnęk sculptures appear on the screen. Behind him stands Phrixus Deimos who then moves to stand next to Holden)

Nicholas Vinegar: Well these two don't seem to be on the same page but they have pulled it off before. Let's see if they can do it again.

Covert Jay: They don't have the stamina of a ninja.

Hans Lieberjocsh: They may not but they are challenging for the Cooperative title so let's see how they fare. They never seem to be on the same page. Bc Holden. Bc Phrixus.

Mitchell Dennis: Introducing first, the challengers for the Cooperative title. Holden ORson and PHRIXUS DEIMOSSSSSSSS

(The lights go out as the heavy guitar riffs of "Violent Fetish" by Disturbed fill the arena. As the lyrics kick in, an orange spotlight hits the entrance where Ken Davison is standing, slightly hunched over with a sadistic smile on his face.

Bring The Violence
It's Significant
To The Life
If You've Ever Known Anyone
Bring The Violence
It's Significant
To The Life
Can You Feel It?
OW! OW! OW!!!

Davison steps to the side, motioning towards the entrance way as Disturbed fades out and gives way to "Mz Hyde" by Halestorm begins wailing over the PA system as the 'Jawdropper' steps out from behind the curtain, clad in her trademarked orange cropped tank top, baggy grey sweatpants and skater shoes. She's got a playful grin on her lips as she stops at the top of the ramp and motions out to the cheering crowd as Ken nods at her. Easily noticed is the full bottle of Jack Daniels she's holding in her right hand as she begins down the ramp, slapping the fans hands with her free hand along the way.

I can be the bitch,
I can play the whore,
Or your fairytale princess who could ask for more
A touch of wicked,
A pinch of risque,
Good girl gone bad, my poison is your remedy

As the lyrics continue, Johnson slides into the ring under the bottom rope and rises to her feet, moving into the nearest corner and jumping up onto the second turnbuckle. Ken stands protectively in front of her while she motions to the crowd once more as she pops open the whiskey bottle, toasting the crowd before taking a swig! The crowd continues cheering as she jumps down and seals the bottle, dropping it in that very same corner before she begins circling the ring, awaiting the match to begin. Ken, meanwhile, stands stoically, waiting for the match to begin.)

Michell Dennis: From Baltimore Maryland, Kyra Johnson, the Godly Ken Davison, they are the current Cooperative Champions, "THE" BALTIMOREEEEEEEE ELITEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!

(The crowd gives them a huge pop.)

NV: Ok here we go

HL: It's THE Baltimore Elite. Emphasis on THE

CJ: No emphasis needed. We already knew them.

HL: Indeed. Well they look stronger than ever.

(The bell rings and in the ring first are Holden and Ken. They stare each other down a minute before getting into an elbow and collar lockup. Holden keeps talking smack, and blows kisses while Ken smiles coldly at him. For a while neither of them seem to gain the advantage then slowly but surley Ken starts to push Holden into the corner. Holden's puts his hands up and the referee breaks them up. Holden's walks forward and smacks Ken across the face. Ken comes back coldly with fire in his eyes and wallops Holden upside the head, then pushes him into the corner post and starts wailing away. The referee finally tries to get between them and he pushes Ken away. He tells them to continue at which point Holden charges and goes for a clothesline from hell, which fells Ken but he doesn't go ass over kettle like Holden wanted him too.)

NV: Ken staying up and strong.

CJ: Like a wall to a ninja trainee.

HL: Holden doesn't have it in him to grab the title. He doesn't seem to want it bad enough.

NV: If you say so. I beg to differ. Holden can pull it out when he wants to. It's the reason he's called the Mainstreamer.

(Holden goes over, grabs Ken by the head and pulls him up. He whips him towards the ropes. On his way back, he tries for a roundhouse kick, but Ken ducks, rolls out of the way, comes up and as Holden is turning around, he jumps and drop kicks him backwards. Holden doesn't go down but staggers backward. Ken takes this opportunity to stalk over to Holden, grabs hims by the hand, drags him up and then grabs him by the throat so he can do one of his chokeslams. He attempts it but Holden strikes with a thrust and hits Ken in the throat. Ken drops him, Holden lands on his feet then does a few muay thai knee smashes into his gut and Ken goes down.)

CJ: Told ya, that ninja training hasn't come in handy yet.

NV: Did you? Did you say that? About who exactly?

CJ: He needs more ninja training sensei

HL: I'm not sure if he needs ninja training or just regular training and working out more. He needs something

(Holden stalks over to Ken and takes this opportunity to target his side. He pins him to the mat, then launches up and knee checks him in the side. Holden goes up again and knee checks him in the side. Holden then walks away thinking that did the job. He taunts the audience and is unaware that Ken is rising like the Great Pumpkin Charlie brown and as Holden turns around, Ken grabs, Holden, puts his head under his jaw and as quick as lightning he executes a perfect Jawbreaker. Holden goes up and falls backwards like a ton of bricks. The referee gets into position.)

1...


2...


(At 2 and a half, Holden has the wherewithall to put his foot on the bottom rope. The referee sees this and shows Ken. Ken grabs his leg and puts him in a rollup but at the 1 and a half count, Holden kicks out.)

NV: Nope. Just nope.

CJ: Hey! That was Vespertine's entire promo for Massive Melee. Are you stealing her lines?

HL: Uh... can you do that?

NV: I didn't but we need to get back to the action.

(Ken wastes no time and goes over and tags Kyra in. As Holden is getting up, she runs up and attempts a float over DDT on him but he slips out of it and she goes down on the mat hard and he rolls out of the ring. He holds his nose to see if there is blood. None. Meanwhile, Kyra is holding her knee in pain. She struggles to get up using the ropes as leverage and as she does so, Holden rolls into the ring behind her, stalks over to her, grabs her shoulders, puts a knee in the middle of her back, then falls backwards putting her into an inverted surfboard. She tries to claw and scratch at anything that will give but finds nothing to hold on to. She screams in pain and the referee asks if she wants to give up. She screams out no. Holden keeps the surfboard locked in. She tries to flail and claw at something but nothing is there. Finally Ken has had enough, he goes through the ropes and stomps on Holden's head. The referee catches him but it did the trick and Holden broke the hold.)

CJ: No give, no hold. Grab it, padawan

NV: What in the hell you talking about?

HL: You guys don't know what you talking about. Are you even watching the same match?

NV: I am. I can't speak for Jay.

CJ: COVERT JAY speaks for himself.

(Holden is up first as Ken is being pushed out of the ring area. He goes over to Kyra, pulls her up by her hair gives her a few muay thai knee strikes, then picks her up to start his Jan Wnek driver.)

NV: This could be it. The Jan Wnek driver. It could be all over for Baltimore Elite

HL: I agree. If he hits this, she won't be able to get back up from that.

CJ: She needs interferrance from a ninja. Someone sly and stealthy.

HL: Well we know whose side you are on.

(Holden tries it but Kyra wriggles out and he loses the hold and drops her but she lands on her feet, arms akimbo. She slowly raises as he struggles to gain his footing again. She charges and he turns around right into a step up enzigurai. She hits his temple but he doesn't go down. She jumps off and then jumps for a spinning back heel kick which connects with his chest. He still doesn't go down but staggers him back into the ropes whereup he gets tied up in the ropes. He tries to free himself but finds he can't. Kyra looks at him and smiles a wicked smile. The audience knows what she should do but will she do it?)

CJ: Jumping and pumping like a ninja.

NV: What the- Really?

HL: Focus people. Match going on.

CJ: Hey! Ninja-ing ain't easy.

(She runs and launches onto the side ropes where she attempts a of the rope rebound whisper in the wind. She hits him on the top of the head but somehow the momentum unties and he crashes onto the arena floor in a heap. Kyra gets up and gives a huge bow to the audience whereupon they give her a big round of applause. She looks over and sees Holden trying to get up and as he staggers up, she launches towards the opposite ropes and on the rebound, jumps onto the top rope, launches again and tries for moonsault. He, however sees it coming and with perfect timing, catches her and powerslams her to the mat by the barricade. She lays there stunned and he rolls off of her and lets himself breathe a little bit. The audience gives her a huge ovation for that.)

NV: That was awesome. Poor Kyra but that was awesome. She tried her best and Holden saw her coming.

HL: I knew she wasn't going to be able to keep up against Holden. She is just too small.

CJ: Flies like a ninja too. I LOVE IT!

NV: Indeed

(Holden is in the ring, first. Then he rolls out again, picks her up, rolls her into the ring, rolls in after her and covers her.


1....


2....)


NV: At 2 and a half, she kicked out! What stamina.

(He covers her again but this time, her foot found the bottom rope. The referee sees this and shows it to Holden. He gets up, pulls her up and over to where Deimos is, they talk and he tags Deimos in. Deimos lifts Kyra on his shoulders and Holden goes to the top of the post. He leaps and goes to clothesline Kyra off the top of Phrixus but Ken is in and chop blocks Phrixus!)
 
NV: Narrowly saved by her partner!
 
HL: I’ll say!
 
(Ken pulls up Holden and sends him into the corner. He goes for a body splash but Holden back body tosses him over the top rope and Ken spills out to the floor. Holden climbs to the top rope again and leaps as Ken rises! Flying cross body to the outside!!!!!! Back in the ring, Phrixus is up, holding the knee. Kyra is right there.)

NV: This isn’t good for the challengers!
 
HL: Not one bit! Kyra is ready for Fear!
 
CJ: Absofruitly!
 
(Kyra grabs Fear and goes for the Jawdropper!!! Phrixus counters and shoves her chest first into the turnbuckle! She bounces out, backwards! Fear grabs her for the Numbing!!! He wastes no time climbing to the top rope and hitting the Meteor Press! Fear covers but Kyra gets her foot on the ropes again!!!! She stopped the 3 count!!!!!)

NV: Phrixus cannot believe it!! And I don’t blame him one bit.
 
CJ: UNBELIEVABLE!!!
 
HL: We got movement on the outside!

(Holden just hurled Ken Davison into the steel steps! And he jumps back to his corner. Phrixus is up and drags Kyra over to their corner. But she fights back! Out of desperation she hits Phrixus with the Jawdropper!! Holden made the tag to Phrixus’ flailing hand! Kyra covers Phrixus not realizing it but the referee won’t do it! She is so confused! She gets up yelling at the ref but turns right into THE FAÇADE!!!!!!!!!!! HOLDEN COVERS!!!
 
 
1!!!!!!!
 
 
 
2!!!!!!!
 
 
3!!!!!!!!!)

 
NV: OH MY GOD THEY DID IT!
 
HL: I DO NOT BELIEVE IT!! THEY JUST ENDED ONE OF THE GREATEST CO-OPERATIVE TITLE RUNS IN HISTORY!!!
 
 
Mitchell Dennis: Here are your winners…..and the NNNNEEEEEWWWWWWWWWW UGWC COOPERATIVE CHAMPIONS……….PHRIXUS DIEMOS AND HOLDENNNNN OOOORRRRRRRSSSSSOOOOONNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[UGWC Staff]

The arena is buzzing as we cut right to the commentary team.


Vinegar: Folks, we have had such an incredible night here and we still have two major matches to go!

Leiberjosch: That's right. We have our World Title match coming up next. 

Covert Jay: And after that, we have THE MELEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Vinegar: Indeed! Tonight has been full of surprises. We saw JC defeat Shane Donovan. And we even saw Dave Rydell capture his SEVENTH Cross-Hemisphere Title after narrowly defeating Vespertine.

Leiberjosch: That's right. But the biggest shock so far. The Baltimore Elite have been dethroned! By an unlikely duo of Holden Orson and Phrixus Diemos. What an incredible night so far.

Covert Jay: And now it's WORLD TITLE TIME! *SSSSCCCCCRRRREEEEEEEECCCCHHHHHH*

Vinegar: Why?

Covert Jay: Why not?

Leiberjosch: Anyway. Let's get to the final title match of the night!!


The cameras pan back out to see all the fans returning to their seats. Buzzing, ready, for the World Title match!

[UGWC Staff]

Hi there! I’m Billy. Just some random 20 something year old kid from Nashville. I wasn’t born here though. I went to school, got myself a degree in marketing. Couldn’t find a good gig, so now I work at an Amazon warehouse. But, I get to write for a few sports blogs on the side. And I got lucky to score some tickets for this awesome pro wrestling event. I’ve been a wrestling fan since I was a kid. My dad got me into it. Anyway, enough about me. Let’s get to the write up!
 
 
It’s that time of year. It used to be at the beginning of the year but it has since been moved to later in the year. I had the opportunity to sit there, front row. I used to watch this event in the Lock Wrestling Federation. I got to see the greats win it. I got to see some of the best title matches take place. However, this wasn’t the LWF anymore.
 
 
This is the UGWC. This is a different breed. Some of the same faces, but they have evolved. And new faces. Like the World Champion. Someone who is so creepily unorthodox. But, I’m not here to tell you about my feelings on the night. I’m here to give my eye witness account of the World Title match. 20 minutes of some of the best fighting and story telling that I’ve seen in many years.
 
 
I had just made it back to my seat with a fresh, ice cold beer. It cost me $12 but, it was delicious. I also got an order of nachos. But by the time I got back to my seat, the cheese was cold. They still did the job. Anyways, enough about that. The feeling in the arena was just, electric. The night was full of shocks and awes.
 
 
We saw JC take on Shane Donovan. We saw Dave Rydell take on Vespertine for the Cross-Hemisphere Title. We saw the team of Holden Orson and Phrixus Diemos take on the Baltimore Elite for the Co-Operative Titles. And now? We get to see Travis Pierce challenge Tempest for the UGWC World Title. I am excited. So, without further ado, let me tell the tale!
 
 
As I sit there sipping my beer, the lights flash as “You Know My Name” by Chris Cornell blares. May he rest in peace. One of the greatest rock legends of our time. Travis Pierce. The Icon of Entertainment steps out onto the stage. The crowd is pumped. His charisma is incredible. He is soaking it all in while giving them more of a reason to cheer for him. After all, he has come a long way this year to get back in the spotlight. And he has earned this shot. Travis is in the ring and still just electrifying the crowd. He makes you want him to win. He makes you want to see him walk out of here with the title. It’s incredible. I catch a glimpse of commentary discussing the challenger in the ring. If I was at home, I’d be able to hear what they say, but I’d rather be here. Witnessing this first hand.
 

Once his music stops, an eerie chill hits us all. The lights go out and “God Hates A Coward” by Tomahawk comes over the speakers. There he is. There is the UGWC World Champion. Flanked by the rest of the Astro Creeps. What a little cult he’s got going on. Just watching them walk down the ramp to the ring… it’s creepy. But I guess that’s the deal. Ugh, watching him crawl across the ring like a little demon… Gives me the heebie jeebies. Oh my lord… now he’s singing! I just want the match to start. I know it’ll be great but Tempest just gives me the creeps. Pun, not intended. Oh good! The music has stopped. But damn if he isn’t just staring a hole through his opponent. Travis is unphased by it. Not one bit. What a class act!
 
Oh! Mitchell Dennis is in the ring. Here we go!
 
 
Mitchell Dennis: Ladies and gentlemen. The following contest is scheduled for one fall!

Crowd: ONE FALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I love when that happens!
 
Mitchell Dennis: And it is for the UGWC World Heavyweight Championship!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
The crowd is electric. Cheering right along with it all.
 
Mitchell Dennis: Introducing first, weighing in at 220 pounds, he is the Icon of Entertainment…. TRAAAAVVVVVIIIIIISSSSSS PPPPPPPIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRCCCCCCCCEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!
 
The crowd explodes, loving every second of this guy. I have to tell you, I’m a fan too.
 
Mitchell Dennis: And his opponent. Representing the Astro Creeps. Weighing in at 205 pounds. He is the UGWC World Heavyweight Champion….. TEEEEEMMMMMMMPPPPPPPPPEEEEESSSSSSTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!
 
Oof, nothing but boos. But Tempest seems to not care. And now Glenn Burke asks for the World Title and of course, Tempest is messing with him. Just hand it over you twit!
 
Glenn Burke holds the title overhead and the match is about to begin.
 
 
DING DING DING!
 
 
Before the opening bell even finishes ringing, Travis Pierce charges at Tempest. He ducks a right hand from the Champion and swings behind him and goes for a German suplex. Tempest blocks the move and hits Travis with a reverse elbow. Travis staggers back into the ropes and rebounds off, right into an arm drag from Tempest.
  
Tempest holds onto the arm and wrenches it tight. Glenn Burke gets into position and asks Travis if he wants to quit. Travis says nothing as Tempest wrenches the arm some more. Travis moves his leg and posts it up, before pushing off and hip tossing Tempest! Travis gets up and shakes his arm off and rushes at a rising Tempest, hitting a bulldog.
 
Travis pulls Tempest up and whips him into the corner. He charges and swings for a clothesline into the corner, but Tempest rolls forward and out of the way. Travis slams into the turnbuckles, chest first. Travis stumbles back out of the corner and turns around. Tempest rushes at him with a swinging neck breaker. Tempest drops into a cover, but only gets a 1 count from Glenn Burke.
 
Tempest wastes no time and pulls Travis back up. Tempest whips Travis into the ropes and on the rebound, Tempest ducks for a back body drop, but Travis jumps and turns, hitting a forward roll on Tempests’ back. Travis lands on his feet on the opposite side, and when Tempest turns around, Travis nails a hard clothesline!
  
Travis stands there, looking down at the World Champion and smirks. He grabs Tempest by the head and pulls him up. Tempest flings his arms up, breaking Travis’ grip. But Travis is prepared and hits a hard right cross on Tempest! Tempest staggers back and Travis rushes at him and hit’s a swinging neck breaker of his own! Travis does not cover, but instead gets up and stomps right on the chest of his opponent. Travis grabs an arm of the Champion and twists it around in his leg and wrenches back!
 
Tempest screams out in pain as Glenn Burke slides into position. He asks Tempest if he wants to quit, but gets nothing back. Travis pulls back on the arm and Tempest screams out once again. Glenn Burke, asks Tempest once more and gets a loud “no” from the Champion. Travis pulls back once again but Tempest rolls with the momentum and breaks out of the hold.
  
Tempest gets some space between him and Travis and keeps the separation to shake his arm out. Travis is not holding back as he charges at the Champion. Travis swings for a clothesline but Tempest ducks under it and runs the ropes. Travis turns around and Tempest leaps!! Tempest comes right down on Travis with Tiptoe Thru’ The Tulips! Tempest rolls away from Travis and lays on his back for a moment.
 
Travis rolls to his stomach and holds the back of his head. Glenn Burke slides over and checks on both of the competitors. Tempest is back up to a knee and Travis is pulling himself up by the ropes. Tempest gets upright and sees Travis leaning up against the ropes, so he charges. Tempest is going for a clothesline over but Travis drops, pulling the top rope down! Tempest spills right to the floor at ringside. Travis looks down and smirks as the Champion lays on the ground, motionless.
 
Travis pulls himself up as Glenn Burke has started the 10 count. The Astro Creeps at ringside are over by their leader, trying to get him to get up on his own but having no success. Travis looks down and climbs out onto the apron. Glenn has reached the count of 3, and Travis drops down to the floor, restarting the count. Travis walks over to Tempest and takes a stutter step towards the Creeps and they back off. But they still stay close.
 
Travis waves them off before reaching down for Tempest to pull him up. Tempest was playing dead and flings Travis over him into the announce table! I can see the commentators stand up and back up as the table shifts just a bit. And now Tempest is back up! He pulls Travis up and slams his head right on the announce table. A huge thud is heard and Travis stumbles back. There is a quiet moment long enough to hear Glenn Burke at the count of 7. Tempest rolls back into the ring, but right back out to restart the count.
 
Travis is pulling himself up using the announce table. Tempest is right behind him and grabs him, hurling him right into the steel steps. He grabs Travis and rolls him back into the ring at the count of 4. Tempest slides in as well, stopping the count altogether. Tempest grabs Travis to pull him up but Travis gets Tempest with an inside cradle! Glenn Burke slides into position and counts, but Tempest kicks out of it at 2. Travis gets himself up and Tempest is up too.
 
Tempest rushes Travis and the two start grappling for position, but Tempest gets Travis into the corner. He hits Travis with multiple shots to the head and positions Travis in a precarious state in the corner. Tempest backs up and charges, going for the Jack-In-The-Box! Travis was able to get a leg free and catch Tempest in the face with a boot! Tempest staggers back and Travis gets out of the corner. Travis immediately grabs the Champion and hits a falling sleeper slam! Travis covers and Glenn Burke is there to see it. He only gets a 2 count before Tempest kicks out.
 
Travis is back up and pulls Tempest up. Travis sends Tempest into the corner but as he follows up, Tempest his a back elbow out of desperation. Tempest pulls Travis in and hits him with the Boom Stick right on the middle turnbuckle! Tempest falls backwards and Travis hits the mat.
 
Tempest pulls himself up with the ropes and goes over to the downed Pierce and just kicks him. He drags Pierce out from the corner to the middle of the ring and goes to lock in the Fishboy Sculpture!!! He can’t get it all the way locked in because Travis is fighting out! This is insane!!! Travis keeps squirming and fighting with the crowd fully behind him! Tempest gets off of him out of frustration and kicks him right in the ribcage!
 
Tempest steps back, and stalks Travis as he starts to get up, still holding his stomach. Travis is up to a knee and Tempest charges at him, running for a flying knee but Travis drops down out of the way. Tempest hits the mat and slides! Travis is up! Tempest gets right back up. They run and clash in the middle of the ring.
 
Throwing lefts and rights at each other. This is an all out slugfest! Right hand from Travis. Left hand from Tempest. Elbow from Travis. Forearms smash from Tempest. Punch after punch. Travis finally gets Tempest with two back to back hits. He hits him again and whips him into the ropes. But Tempest reverses it! Travis comes off the ropes and goes for The Truth Hurts but Tempest ducks out of the way! Travis comes right back around and hits Tempest with The Breakdown! Travis goes for the cover on Tempest!












1!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


















2!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!























THR-!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!













Holy fuck that was close!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Travis cannot believe it and quite frankly, neither can the rest of the crowd. But there's our boy! Not giving up!!! He's back to his feet and hits a hard stomp on Tempest, right in the freaking face. Like, HARD! And now he's looking out into the crowd, hands on his hips, wondering what to do next. He is looking back down at Tempest, and the crowd is cheering his name!
 
Travis pulls Tempest up and knees him in the stomach and lifts him on his shoulders. Travis attempts to hit Signing Off but Tempest floats out over the back and shoves Travis! Travis collides with Glenn Burke knocking him to the mat. Travis turns around, right into a superkick from Tempest!! Tempest doesn’t even attempt a cover before waving in his enforcer, Kosnar!
 
Tempest pulls Travis up and shoves him right into Kosnar, who picks him up and hits him with Collapsing Cosmoses!!!! Kosnar quickly gets out of the ring and Tempest drags Glenn Burke over to the middle of the ring. Tempest covers Travis Pierce and Glenn Burke slowly counts, as he is still out of it.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
1!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
2!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
THRE-!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
OH MY GOD!!!! TRAVIS PIERCE KICKED OUT!!!!! TEMPEST CANNOT BELIEVE IT!!! Holy hell, what a moment!!!! Tempest is in shock as Glenn Burke is trying to get himself together. Tempest shakes Glenn and goes back to Travis. He pulls Travis up and sets him up for the Moseley Driver! Travis, out of desperation, breaks out of it and flips Tempest over on his back and both men are back down!!! Glenn Burke is still down but trying to get up.
 
Burke pulls himself up by the ropes and looks at both competitors down on the mat and starts his count. This crowd is loving every second of this match. And they are chanting for Travis Pierce as the count goes on. It's almost deafening as Glenn Burke reaches the count of 7. Tempest is getting himself up while Travis is starting to stir. By the count of 9, Tempest is all the way up and Travis has gotten to a knee. Glenn Burke elects to stop the count!
 
The two competitors meet back in the middle of the ring and clash once more. Tempest swings wildly with a right hand. Travis spins all the way around and comes back with a clothesline! Travis quickly pulls Tempest up, but Tempest whips Travis off the ropes! On the rebound, Travis comes back and attempts to hit Tempest with The Truth Hurts one more time! Tempest ducks it and Travis lands right on his back! Tempest quickly pulls him up and hits him with The Moseley Driver!!!! Tempest falls right into the cover as Glenn Burke slides into position and counts!
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
1!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
2!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
 






DING DING DING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
 
 
  
Mitchell Dennis: Here is your winner…….. AND STIIIIILLLLLLLLLLLL UGWC WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONNN…… TEMPESSSSTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Alright, that's it for me. Holy moly what a night! And it isn't even over yet! What an absolutely amazing night it has been. Alright, I'm done. Enjoy commentary!!

Vinegar: And in an incredible match, Tempest retains the World Heavyweight Title.

Leiberjosch: I had no doubts whatsoever!

Covert Jay: I did. That TV guy was a lock in my fantasy league.

Vinegar: UGWC Fantasy league?! You know what... nevermind.

Leiberjosch: Good call. And with that, we are about to gear up for the Massive Melee match to close out this incredible night!

[UGWC Staff]

Vinegar: What a night it has been here at the Massive Melee, and it is time now for the titular match itself!

Covert Jay: In five weeks at Keeper of the Keys, four Entertainment Professionals will compete in the Keys to the Kingdom Match with control of their fate at Horizons on the line! Montague Cervantes, Tony Savage, and Tempest are all already assured a place in the match, we are about to find out who will join them as the Keeper of the Massive Melee Key!

Lieberjosch: Thirty entrants, already known to be the most eclectic mix of participants in the match’s history, and sure to be some surprises still to come!

Vinegar: Let’s find out who our first two entrants are!

The lights go out as ‘From the Heavens’ (Omega Weapon Theme from FFXIV) begins playing. At the same time, a spotlight comes on from behind the entryway, causing a long shadow to be cast down the ramp. After a few seconds, Antonio Ricci stands confidently, the center of attention. The camera zooms in on his face as he looks directly at the lens and smirks.

Mitchell Dennis: Introducing the individual entering at number one…The Omega Weapon…ANTOOOOOONIO RIIIIIIIIICCIIIIIII!!

Ricci makes his way down the entranceway, ignoring the fans as he marches down to the ring on a mission. He steps directly onto the apron and wipes his feet stepping over the top rope and getting into the ring. He poses in the corner as the crowd reacts. Finally satisfied with the reaction, he hops down and turns his attention towards the ring.

Vinegar: Antonio Ricci making his first appearance in a UGWC ring here tonight, a man with a proclivity for violence, and sure to be a dangerous competitor, even at the disavantage of being number one.

Covert Jay: Ricci has come looking for the most dangerous prey, and twenty-nine different versions of possible prey are about to come to him!

"Who Dat Boy?" by Tyler the Creator plays on the P.A., and Rick comes out, filming his own entrance with a UGWC camera! he's kind of nervous in front of crowds, stopping for a moment to compose himself. he then spends a few moments filming fans and their signs before he puts the camera down, climbs the apron, and flips over the rope into the ring.

Mitchell Dennis: And entering at number two…it’s ACTION CAMERAMAN RIIIIICCCKKKKK!!!

Vinegar: Action Cameraman Rick has been working for UGWC for years, most recently primarily filming Tony Savage, and Savage has declined his own spot in the Melee, forgoing the potential advantage of having two keys and sticking Cameraman Rick in instead.

Lieberjosch: Well, given this is the spot Savage likely would have had, seems discretion was a good move for him after all. Would have been a tough win from this slot even for Savage, and certainly not looking good for Rick.

Covert Jay: Hey, Rick once won an Xbox off a McDonald’s Monopoly promotion, if he has that kind of luck again tonight he’ll be in good shape.

DING DING!!!

Vinegar: The 2022 Massive Melee is officially underway, new participants to enter every two minutes, and we begin with Antonio Ricci and Action Cameraman Rick!

Lieberjosch: Rick throwing a couple shadow punches, approaching Ricci, and the Omega Weapon unleashes a kickboxing combination of strikes!

Vinegar: Cameraman Rick is staggered, wildly swings at nothing, and Ricci follows up with a jumping knee strike that knocks the cameraman flat on his back, and Action Cameraman Rick might be reconsidering his decision to step in the ring himself.

Covert Jay: Well, everybody has a plan until they get kneed in the face.

Vinegar: Ricci picks Cameraman Rick back up and sends him into the corner, charges in with a running hip attack.

Covert Jay: But Rick moves out of the way and Ricci runs right into the corner! He stumbles back out, and Rick hesitates a moment but executes a spinning headscissor takedown to the delight of this crowd!

Vinegar: Cameraman Rick looks around at the crowd and takes a moment to bask in the applause, Ricci starting to get back up, Rick grabs him and brings him to the ropes, trying to push him over, but Ricci leverages against the top rope and Rick doesn’t even manage to get him off his feet before Ricci elbows him twice in the stomach, backing him away before Ricci clothesline him to the mat.

Covert Jay: BUZZZZZZZZZ!!!!!

SPOILER: Click to show

Vinegar: The third entrant is Fintan O’Connell!

Covert Jay: The Fighting Irishman formerly of SJW, now making his way to the ring in the Massive Melee!

Vinegar: O’Connell steps into the ring and waves to the crowd, as Ricci watches him carefully.

Lieberjosch: O’Connell rushes Ricci, unleashing a flurry of lefts and rights to the face!

Covert Jay: It’s a Potato Harvest!

Vinegar: But Ricci puts a stop to it with a knee lift, grabs him by the throat and lifts him into the Darkstalker!

Covert Jay: Ricci notices Rick starting to get back up, and Ricci backs away and leans against a corner, apparently content to watch for a moment.

Lieberjosch: Rick sees O’Connell down, brings him to his feet in a headlock!

Covert Jay: It’s the THIS YOU?!? Drop!

Vinegar: Cameraman Rick taking a moment to laugh at the downed Fighting Irishman, but Antonio Ricci isn’t laughing, as he lifts O’Connell up into a crucifix position before running towards the ropes and hurling him to ringside!

Lieberjosch: EARTHBOUND!!!

Elimination: Fintan O’Connell by Antonio Ricci

Vinegar: Our first elimination of the match, as Cameraman Rick tries to grab Ricci from behind and send him over, but Ricci blocks it again, drives Rick away with a stiff back elbow!

Lieberjosch: And now Ricci sends Rick again into the corner, and repeatedly clubs him with a series of clotheslines!

Covert Jay: BUZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!!

SPOILER: Click to show

Lieberjosch: Now what the hell is this?

Covert Jay: It’s Roo the Boxing Kangaroo!

Lieberjosch: Stop it.

Vinegar: Roo the Boxing Kangaroo making its way to the ring as the fourth entrant, somehow not the most bizarre thing we’ve ever seen out here.

Covert Jay: You know, I was with Roo and Zaza the French-Frye loving koala the other day on the PB-82, we had the most fascinating discussion about eucalyptus bars.

Lieberjosch: I want to say you made that all up just now, but I can’t be sure.

Vinegar: Roo into the ring, fighting Ricci off with a series of jabs, and knocks him down with a straight right!

Lieberjosch: I’d suggest he was actually floored by the absurdity of the situation.

Vinegar: And now the Boxing Kangaroo turns his attention to Action Cameraman Rick, who was coming out of the corner, but now Roo drives him back towards it with a combination, finishes with an uppercut that takes Rick off his feet and launches him into the turnbuckle!

Lieberjosch: Rick actually spills over the top rope, but he holds on and lands on the apron, barely rolling back in.

Vinegar: And a “Roo” chant breaks out amongst the crowd!

Lieberjosch: I miss when the weirdest thing around here was a cigar-chomping penguin.

Covert Jay: BUZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!

SPOILER: Click to show

Lieberjosch: Oh for fuck’s sake.

Vinegar: Entrant number five is the Camden Carrot!

Covert Jay: Another former SJW member and in fact the winner of the 2014 NJPW Hyper Junior Cup, Camden Carrot once teamed with Peekatyou, they called themselves Wrestlemon Orange.

Lieberjosch: If he shows up too I’m leaving.

Covert Jay: The Camden Carrot of course has a devastating submission maneuver in his repertoire, the Carroted Artery.

Lieberjosch: No.

Vinegar: Camden Carrot into the ring, but runs right into a jab from Roo the Boxing Kangaroo!

Covert Jay: The Carrot stumbles backwards, and Roo grabs hold of him and tosses him over the ropes!

Elimination: The Camden Carrot by Roo the Boxing Kangaroo

Covert Jay: Cameraman Rick is behind Roo, he upends the Boxing Kangaroo over the ropes and to ringside!

Elimination: Roo the Boxing Kangaroo by Action Cameraman Rick

Vinegar: Cameraman Rick picking up an elimination!

Lieberjosch: And I think nobody is more stunned than he is.

Vinegar: Cameraman Rick is pumped up from the achievement, but turns to see Ricci standing across the ring, staring at him.

Lieberjosch: And it looks like it went straight to Rick’s head, as he Leroy Jenkins straight across the ring and runs right into the Coma-Toes!

Covert Jay: BUZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!

SPOILER: Click to show

Covert Jay: It’s the Avenger!!!

Vinegar: I suppose you have a problem with this, too.

Lieberjosch: I’m just going to remind myself that he’s a former Conquest Champion and sit here quietly.

Covert Jay: The Avenger slides under the ropes into the ring, immediately goozles the Omega Weapon!

Vinegar: The Avenger has the larger man by the throat, Ricci startled momentarily, glares at the aggressive superhero, and retaliates with a goozle of his own!

Covert Jay: But the Avenger mightily knocks the arm away!

Vinegar: Kick to the gut from Ricci, whips the Avenger into the ropes, but the Avenger springboards off the ropes and ricochets back towards Ricci, connecting with a flying forearm!

Covert Jay: Cameraman Rick stumbling back to his feet, goozled by the Avenger, and this time he executes the chokeslam!

Vinegar: The Avenger steps through the ropes to the outside, climbs the turnbuckle, he’s still got on his cape!

Covert Jay: He leaps off the turnbuckle as Ricci is rising and sends him back to the mat with the Caped Crusader!

Vinegar: And now the Avenger poses heroically in the middle of the ring!

Lieberjosch: *grumbles*

Covert Jay: BUZZZZZZZZZ!!!

SPOILER: Click to show

Vinegar: Entrant seven is one half of the new Cooperative Champions, Holden Orson!

Lieberjosch: Orson slides into the ring, immediately plants the Avenger with The Façade!

Covert Jay: A series of Labokkatao strikes on Cameraman Rick, staggers him before lifting him into the Jan Wnęk Driver!

Vinegar: But Holden stands and turns into a jumping knee strike from Ricci!

Lieberjosch: Antonio Ricci and Cameraman Rick have both been in the Melee for over ten minutes now, which is about nine minutes and thirty seconds longer than I think anybody thought Rick might last.

Covert Jay: Ricci lifts Holden into the crucifix position, looking to send him out of the ring with Earthbound, but Holden floats off the back! Ricci turns around and gets planted by The Façade!

Vinegar: Orson turns his attention back to the Avenger, bringing him to the ropes and trying to force him out, as the Avenger attempts to resist.

Covert Jay: BUZZZZZZZZ!!!

SPOILER: Click to show

Covert Jay: It’s Señor Mascara!

Vinegar: Mascara rushing down the ramp and sliding into the ring, Holden gives up on trying to eliminate the Avenger and goes for Mascara, but Muscara immediately takes him down with a hurricarana.

Covert Jay: Wristlock applied to the Avenger, immediately transitions into a springboard tornado DDT!

Vinegar: Turns his attention to Cameraman Rick, sends him into the turnbuckle with an exploder suplex!

Covert Jay: But the Omega Weapon has him by the throat, plants him with the Darkstalker!

Lieberjosch: Once again, Antonio Ricci picking a spot to cut off the building momentum of another participant, he’s been picking his prey carefully throughout this match so far, does it again right here.

Vinegar: Ricci picks Mascara up and tries to force him over the ropes, but Mascara manages to get his legs up into a headscissor, trying to pull Ricci out with him.

Lieberjosch: Ricci struggling to keep himself in the ring, gets some leverage and pulls Mascara back over the ropes, slamming him to the mat.

Covert Jay: BUZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!

SPOILER: Click to show

Lieberjosch: The Lord is here!

Vinegar: Donovan Hastings is the ninth entrant!

Lieberjosch: Hastings taking his time coming down the ramp, as Ricci watches him carefully from the ring.

Vinegar: The Omega Weapon awaiting the arrival of one of the alphas of UGWC, Hastings climbing the steps and entering the ring.

Lieberjosch: Ricci staring him down, and Hastings turns and begins stomping away on Cameraman Rick!

Covert Jay: Rick is in this match in place of Tony Savage, Hastings certainly has made his feelings on that clear, meanwhile Ricci has turned his attention to the Avenger, trying to force him out of the ring.

Vinegar: Hastings laying the boots to Cameraman Rick, and now he rips him up off the ground and callously tosses him out of the ring!

Elimination: Action Cameraman Rick by Donovan Hastings

Lieberjosch: Hastings wasting no time in eliminating Cameraman Rick!

Vinegar: That was probably personal, at least in the mind of Hastings, as meanwhile Orson unleashes a flurry of Labokkatao strikes on Mascara, staggering him next to the ropes, and he follows up and connects with Black!

Covert Jay: The impact of the uppercut drives Mascara into the air and sends him spilling over the ropes!

Elimination: Señor Mascara by Holden Orson

Vinegar: Orson turns back just as Hastings tucks his shoulder and drives Orson back into the corner with a shoulder thrust.

Lieberjosch: Hastings stomps Holden down, now trying to eliminate him as Ricci does the same with the Avenger on the opposite side of the ring.

Covert Jay: BUZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!

SPOILER: Click to show

Vinegar: Our tenth entrant is the now former Cross-Hemisphere Champion, Vespertine!

Lieberjosch: A controversial finish earlier tonight, have to imagine things aren’t over between Vespertine and Dave Rydell, but in the meantime she’ll look for redemption here in the Massive Melee.

Vinegar: Hastings lets go of Orson, who tumbles back into the ring in front of the turnbuckle, and Hastings charges at Vespertine, but runs right into a spinning heel kick!

Covert Jay: Vesperine pops back to her feet as Holden is slumped against the turnbuckle, and Vespertine charges and connects with a shining wizard in the corner!

Vinegar: The Avenger has knocked Ricci away, standing out on the apron, and he slingshots over the ropes and connects with a forearm on the Omega Weapon.

Covert Jay: Vespertine with a Double Punch on Hastings, staggering him back into the ropes, and now Vespertine trying to force him out.

Vinegar: The Avenger has scaled the ropes back to a turnbuckle, but Ricci has recovered and leaps on the second rope, grabbing the Avenger by the throat, and he lifts him off the turnbuckle and hurls him to ringside!

Elimination: The Avenger by Antonio Ricci

Lieberjosch: Second elimination for Ricci, who now turns his attention to Holden, trying to force him out, as Vespertine still doing the same with Hastings.

Covert Jay: BUZZZZZZZZZ!!!!

[UGWC Staff]

SPOILER: Click to show

Vinegar: We’re into the middle third of this year’s Massive Melee Match, and it appears that number eleven is Ezra Wolf!

Lieberjosch: Another former Conquest Champion, Ezra runs down the ramp and slides into the ring, and he goes right for where Vespertine is trying to force Hastings out of the ring. He grabs a leg of each of them and flips both over the ropes!

Covert Jay: Hastings holds onto the top rope and lands on the apron, but Vespertine tumbles to ringside!

Elimination: Vespertine by Ezra Wolf

Lieberjosch: Ezra watching Ricci attempt to eliminate Holden, looking for an angle to do the same thing to them, but he hasn’t realized that Hastings is still in, and Hastings spins him around and drops him with a Facebreaker DDT!

Vinegar: Ricci stops working on Orson, turning his attention to Hastings, and he takes a step towards him.

Covert Jay: The Omega Weapon wants big prey, and there may be no bigger prey than the six-time UGWC World Champion.

Lieberjosch: Hastings gives him a dismissive wave and points him back towards Holden, but Ricci isn’t having it, advancing towards the Lord of Pain!

Vinegar: Ricci attacks with Coma-Toes, sidestepped by Hastings who attempts to counter with a full nelson slam, but Ricci elbows him away.

Lieberjosch: Ricci charges, sidestepped by Hastings, but Ricci handsprings off the ropes and catches him with a back elbow!

Covert Jay: BUZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!

SPOILER: Click to show

Vinegar: Here comes Sebastian Everett-Bryce!

Lieberjosch: The reigning Chaos Champion in at twelve, sliding into the ring and ducking under a clothesline from Ricci.

Covert Jay: SEB keeps going, coming off the far ropes and he connects on Ricci with the Empire Kick!

Vinegar: The Star of Stage and Screen wasting no time, he grabs Ricci and tosses him out of the ring!

Elimination: Antonio Ricci by Sebastian Everett-Bryce

Covert Jay: The Omega Weapon was in the Melee for over twenty minutes, eliminated at the hands of the Mauler of Markham Square!

Lieberjosch: SEB glances at Hastings and Ezra, both still down, but Holden is back on his feet and charges at SEB, attempting an uppercut, only for SEB evade the attack and snap Holden into the Stamford Bridge!

Vinegar: Looked like pure instinct on the part of SEB, hard-pressed to find a more natural talent in the ring, and he grabs Holden and tries to force him out.

Covert Jay: Hastings springs back to his feet, was playing dead there a moment ago, he flips SEB and Holden both over!

Lieberjosch: Both manage to hold on and land on the apron, rolling back in as Ezra connects on Hastings with the Fore’n Object!

Covert Jay: BUZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!

SPOILER: Click to show

Vinegar: Here comes Craig Cogan!

Lieberjosch: The Big Bad Brony coming down the ramp, trying to offer money to fans for votes, not sure what he thinks that is going to accomplish, but the ringside officials have intervened and are ushering him towards the ring.

Vinegar: Cogan rolls in, but Ezra immediately superkicks him in the knee, follows up with a stiff clothesline!

Covert Jay: Lightning Strikes!

Lieberjosch: Ezra getting back to his feet, but nearly gets decapitated by an Empire Kick from SEB!

Vinegar: SEB delivers a pair of stomps each to Orson and Hastings, as Cogan is stumbling back to his feet, holding his chest.

Lieberjosch: And now Cogan is offering five bucks to SEB!

Vinegar: SEB glances around the arena before Cogan again makes the offer, and SEB reaches out and takes the money.

Lieberjosch: Cogan gives him a thumbs up, and SEB quickly grabs him and tosses him out of the ring!

Elimination: Craig Cogan by Sebastian Everett-Bryce

Vinegar: SEB shrugs his shoulders before tucking the money in his tights!

Covert Jay: BUZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!

SPOILER: Click to show

Covert Jay: It’s Garbage Fence!

Lieberjosch: This guy again!

Vinegar: Garbage Fence was a participant in the 2020 Massive Melee, coming to the ring as Hastings has gotten back to his feet, delivering a series of chops that has backed SEB into a corner.

Covert Jay: Garbage Fence into the ring, looking around, and now he appears to have fixed his gaze on the downed Holden.

Garbage Fence: COLLECTIONS!!!

Lieberjosch: Garbage Fence pounces on Holden, appears to be trying to take his mask off.

Vinegar: Orson attempting to fend him off with panicked slaps, as meanwhile SEB has slipped behind Hastings, delivers a German Suplex, rolls through and follows up with a released German Suplex that sends Hastings into a corner!

Covert Jay: Standing moonsault kick on Hastings, SEB sprints back to the far corner, charges back towards Hastings!

Vinegar: Intercepted by Kickin’ It Old School from Ezra Wolf!

Lieberjosch: Is anybody else watching Holden and Garbage Fence?

Vinegar: It’s absolutely something that has happened during this match, sure.

Covert Jay: BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!

SPOILER: Click to show

Covert Jay: Here comes the Minidemon!

Vinegar: Chloe Hawkhurst entering at number fifteen, we’ve reached the halfway point, and young Hawkhurst looked impressive in her first appearance in last year’s Melee.

Lieberjosch: It was Donovan Hastings that eliminated her last year, Hastings in the ring but down in the corner at the moment, as Chloe slides in and charges at Ezra, planting him with the ST-CHO!

Covert Jay: Holden has managed to get away from Garbage Fence momentarily, ducking his head through the ropes so that it’s out of reach, Garbage Fence rushing back over, he’s trying to reach over the top rope to grab at the mask.

Vinegar: Hawkhurst targeting Hastings in the corner now, trying to eliminate the competitor that took her out last year, and you have to admire her tenacity.

Covert Jay: Garbage Fence now draped across Holden’s back, reaching for his head, he’s got his fingertips on the mask!

Garbage Fence: COLLECTIONS!!!

Lieberjosch: Holden jerks his head back into the ring and shoves Garbage Fence over the ropes to ringside!

Elimination: Garbage Fence by Holden Orson

Vinegar: Orson taking a moment to readjust his mask, doubtless a terrifying moment for him.

Lieberjosch: It was also something that happened in this match, sure.

Covert Jay: BUZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!

SPOILER: Click to show

Vinegar: Now hold on a second, what is this?

Covert Jay: It’s the Cabinet of Outcasts!

Lieberjosch: How many of them are coming out here?

Covert Jay: Looks like the Tramp, the Elephant Man, and the Man Without a Face coming down the ramp, you’ve got the Albino and the Dwarf coming out of the crowd on one side of the ring, the Lobsterman and the Geek on the other side, the Bearded Woman just came out next to you, Hans.

Lieberjosch: UGH!

Covert Jay: The Feral Child and the Conductor out here as well.

Vinegar: The Cabinet of Outcasts have surrounded the ring!

Lieberjosch: Which of them is the sixteenth entrant?

Covert Jay: All of them? None of them? Who knows?

Vinegar: They’re ALL entering the ring, and this is just a mugging!

Lieberjosch: Some resistance being put up, but the numbers game is completely overwhelming, all the other participants in the ring receiving a brutal beatdown from multiple members of the Cabinet!

Vinegar: Someone’s got to put a stop to this! This isn’t right!

Covert Jay: Guess what?

Lieberjosch: What?

Covert Jay: BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!

SPOILER: Click to show

Covert Jay: Here comes the Bogeyman!

Vinegar: JC rushing down the ramp and sliding into the ring, and he boots down one Outcast and tosses another!

Lieberjosch: Who can even tell which one, there’s so many of them out there.

Vinegar: Apparently not for long, as JC tosses Outcast after Outcast!

Lieberjosch: The Big Boot of Death floors one, the Dance Macabre sends another soaring to the outside!

Covert Jay: JC is cleaning house with the Cabinet of Outcasts!

Vinegar: Only the Man With No Face remains, and JC grabs him and whips him towards the ropes!

Covert Jay: But he ascends the ropes, springing off and connecting with a backflip kick!

Lieberjosch: Wait a second! Wasn’t that-!?

Vinegar: The Man With No Face spreads his arms wide, and removes his mask to reveal-

Lieberjosch: MONTAGUE CERVANTES!!

Vinegar: Cervantes has returned! He was disguised as one of the Cabinet of Outcasts!

Lieberjosch: And Cervantes takes a dramatic bow to the crowd!

Covert Jay: BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!

SPOILER: Click to show

Lieberjosch: And now we suffer this fool.

Covert Jay: Probably not for long.

Lieberjosch: That’s fair.

Vinegar: The Dark Destroyer, proudly declaring victory as he comes down the ramp.

Lieberjosch: Cervantes waiting for him, but the Destroyer trips at the bottom ramp, tumbling and sliding on the ground with his head actually going under the apron.

Covert Jay: Monty actually looks disappointed, I imagine he had something dramatic planned.

Vinegar: Orson blindsides Cervantes, knocks him into the corner, trying to force him out.

Lieberjosch: Hastings rolls out under the bottom rope, that was under the bottom rope so he’s not eliminated, and he yanks the Dark Destroyer out from under the apron and rolls him into the ring.

Vinegar: The Destroyer uses the ropes to try to pull himself up, but SEB connects with an Empire Kick that knocks him over the ropes and eliminates him!

Elimination: The Dark Destroyer by Sebastian Everett-Bryce

Lieberjosch: That’s got to be some kind of a record.

Vinegar: I think actually it took so long for the Dark Destroyer to get up that it didn’t break the record.

Covert Jay: I think that was actually Hastings attempting to eliminate SEB.

Lieberjosch: How do you figure?

Covert Jay: You had a fifty-fifty shot that the Dark Destroyer botched standing up, in which case SEB would have whiffed on the kick, maybe he gets tangled in the ropes, possibly even has his momentum take him over.

Lieberjosch: Well, the Lord is a brilliant strategist.

Vinegar: Hastings back in the ring and now exchanging chops with SEB, meanwhile Ezra Wolf trying to eliminate young Hawkhurst on the opposite side of the ring, Orson and Cervantes grappling for leverage in another corner.

Covert Jay: BUZZZZZZZZZ!!!!

SPOILER: Click to show

Vinegar: In at nineteen, it’s Ken Davison!

Lieberjosch: Davison sprints down the ramp and slides into the ring, JC up and charges at him, but Davison catches him in a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker!

Vinegar: Davison right back to his feet, rushes to the corner where Ezra Wolf nearly has Hawkhurst out, and Davison with a pair of clubbing blows, stunning Wolf and allowing Hawkhurst to drop safely back into the ring.

Lieberjosch: And Davison grabs Ezra and tosses him out of the ring!

Elimination: Ezra Wolf by Ken Davison

Vinegar: Davison checks that she is okay, she nods that she is.

Lieberjosch: And as he turns away she grabs him and tosses him out!

Vinegar: Davison manages to hold onto the top rope, rolls back into the ring. She shrugs his shoulders and he nods his head in acknowledgement.

Lieberjosch: I like this girl.

Vinegar: Orson comes after Davison, but Davison kicks him in the gut and hits the Kenadian Destroyer!

Lieberjosch: Chloe grabs Cervantes and shoves him towards the corner, but Montague swings out from one side of the turnbuckle, rebounds off the ring steps then grabs the ropes on the opposite side of the turnbuckle and swings in for the Carousel Kick!

Covert Jay: BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!

SPOILER: Click to show

Covert Jay: It’s the Black Ice!

Vinegar: Konrad Raab storming to the ring at number twenty, and he’s got his flanged German mace in hand!

Lieberjosch: Cervantes and Davison exchanging blows in the center of the ring, Raab rolls in and cracks each of them with the mace!

Covert Jay: SEB runs into a mace shot, moments later Hastings does the same!

Vinegar: A shot to JC, now one to Orson, and with everyone down in the ring, Raab raises the mace triumphantly overhead!

Lieberjosch: Raab rolls out of the ring, setting the mace on the ring steps, and that was under the bottom rope so he’s not eliminated.

Vinegar: Konrad Raab reaching underneath the apron at the bottom of the ramp, and he pulls out a trash can!

Covert Jay: Looks like the lid already has a Dark Destroyer’s head shaped dent in it.

Lieberjosch: Raab tosses the lid aside, pushes the can into the ring, some paraphernalia tumbles out, looks like a few kendo sticks, a bowling ball. I think I see a head of lettuce for some reason.

Vinegar: Raab rolls into the ring, picks up a kendo stick, but Hawkhurst is behind him!

Covert Jay: ExCHLOsion!

Vinegar: Chloe Hawkhurst was the only person Raab didn’t attack with the mace, he overlooked her as she was already down, and she just made him pay for it!

Covert Jay: BUZZZZZZZZZ!!!!

[UGWC Staff]

Vinegar: Two thirds of the field has entered the match, and here comes number twenty-one!

SPOILER: Click to show

Lieberjosch: Okay, now what is this.

Covert Jay: It’s Gram Gram the Deathmatch Grandma!

Lieberjosch: I did think we were past this portion of the Melee.

Vinegar: Gram Gram coming down the ramp, Chloe Hawkhurst looks a bit incredulous, can’t say I blame her.

Lieberjosch: She’s going to break a hip.

Covert Jay: I think Chloe is way too young for that.

Lieberjosch: You know what I meant.

Vinegar: Gram Gram is in…well, almost. She’s coming along. Okay, now she’s in the ring, and we’ve got the youngest entrant standing off against what I hope is tonight’s oldest entrant.

Lieberjosch: I mean, if we really needed an octogenarian in the match, they could have at least given us Old Lady Levene for some nostalgia.

Covert Jay: Maybe she’s next.

Lieberjosch: Don’t speak that into the universe.

Vinegar: Gram Gram punches Hawkhurst in the face!

Covert Jay: I don’t think Chloe expected that to actually happen.

Lieberjosch: I definitely didn’t.

Covert Jay: Another quick right hand knocks Chloe down!

Vinegar: JESUS CHRIST ON A POGO STICK!!!

Lieberjosch: Konrad Raab just smacked Gram Gram in the back with a kendo stick!

Vinegar: What a heinous action from the Black Ice!

Lieberjosch: Konrad Raab is now literally beating an old lady with a stick!

Covert Jay: BOO THIS MAN!!!

Vinegar: And now Raab lifts Gram Gram off the mat and uses the kendo stick to clothesline her to the outside!

Elimination: Gram Gram the Deathmatch Grandma by Konrad Raab

Lieberjosch: None of this was on my Melee Bingo Card, I’m just saying that right now.

Covert Jay: BUZZZZZZ!!!!!

SPOILER: Click to show

Vinegar: Zane Scott is entrant twenty-two!

Lieberjosch: It’s been some time since we’ve seen the Personification of Hate in action, but now Zane rushes to the ring, slides in as Raab swings at him with the kendo stick, but Zane catches it!

Covert Jay: Leveling the Cypress!

Vinegar: Two-handed sledge strike to Orson, and now Scott stun guns Davison onto the top rope, follows up with a brutal clothesline!

Lieberjosch: Cervantes trying to eliminate Chloe Hawkhurst, as JC lifts Zane into a fireman’s carry position, only for Hastings to chop block him!

Covert Jay: Zane lands safely on his feet, as Hastings lifts JC into a full nelson slam!

Vinegar: Nods exchanged between Hastings and Scott, meanwhile Hawkhurst has gotten her feet back on the ground, and she backdrops Cervantes over the ropes!

Lieberjosch: He holds on, skins the cat back over the ropes, gets his legs around Chloe and yanks her over the ropes with him!

Vinegar: She holds on as well, resilient young competitor that she is, dangling from the ropes as Cervantes slingshots himself back into the ring.

Covert Jay: But Zane is there and catches him with Murderous Intent!

Vinegar: Hawkhurst rolls back in as Hastings is trying to eliminate Orson, meanwhile Scott picks Cervantes up and tosses him out!

Elimination: Montague Cervantes by Zane Scott

Lieberjosch: SEB has dumped out the garbage can and put Raab in it and he gets a running start and delivers the Empire Kick to the can!

Covert Jay: BUZZZZZZZZ!!!!!

SPOILER: Click to show

Vinegar: Coming in at twenty-three is Kyra Johnson!

Covert Jay: Kyra slides into the ring and Hastings goes to cut her off, but she drills him with a running superkick!

Lieberjosch: Zane trying to eliminate SEB, Holden stumbling away from the ropes, and Baltimore Elite converge and hit Bottom of the Bottle!

Vinegar: And now Davison grabs Orson and throws him out!

Elimination: Holden Orson by Ken Davison

Vinegar: Holden Orson eliminated, over a half hour in the Melee for him, but a measure of revenge for the Baltimore Elite, as they now turn their attention to the rising Donovan Hastings.

Lieberjosch: Hastings checking his mouth for blood after the superkick, Ken and Kyra readying to strike, but Zane abandons his attempt to eliminate SEB and steps up next to Hastings!

Covert Jay: Pain and Paradox squaring off with the Baltimore Elite!

Vinegar: But Hawkhurst dropkicks Hastings in the back, and she grabs him and tries again to eliminate him as Johnson and Davison attack Scott, who struggles to fend them both off!

Lieberjosch: JC clobbers SEB with the Epiphany, and he hurls SEB into the corner, where he slumps to the ground!

Vinegar: JC picks up the bowling ball brought into the ring earlier in Raab’s can of weapons, and JC rolls the ball right into SEB!

Lieberjosch: Sloane isn’t going to like that.

Covert Jay: BUZZZZZZZ!!!

SPOILER: Click to show

Covert Jay: Here comes Dave Rydell!

Vinegar: Rydell running down and sliding into the ring, knocks down Johnson with a clothesline, now one for Davison!

Lieberjosch: And then a double clothesline for both of them!

Covert Jay: Rydell glances at Chloe struggling with Hastings, doesn’t seem to want any part of that, but as Zane tries to steady himself, Rydell connects with the After Shock!

Vinegar: Raab has gotten himself out of the garbage can, he lifts it overhead and charges at Rydell, but Rydell drills him with the Tip of the Spear!

Lieberjosch: Rydell picks up the can and throws it out of the ring, as Hastings gets loose from Chloe and rolls away, he rolls back to his feet and charges back at her!

Covert Jay: But she pulls down the top rope and he tumbles over it to ringside!

Elimination: Donovan Hastings by Chloe Hawkhurst

Vinegar: Chloe Hawkhurst just eliminated Donovan Hastings!

Covert Jay: After he took her out last year, she returns the favor!

Vinegar: But Rydell is behind her and tosses her out after him!

Elimination: Chloe Hawkhurst by Dave Rydell

Lieberjosch: That’s how quickly your fortunes can turn around in the Massive Melee, a matter of seconds.

Vinegar: Dave Rydell taking a moment to kick the remaining weapons out the ring, as I think it’s worth noting that Hawkhurst lasted twice as long as last year, not to mention taking out one of the biggest names in UGWC history, a lot of potential shown by this talented young woman, and I hope we see more of her in the future.

Lieberjosch: I’m just glad nobody tried to use the lettuce.

Covert Jay: BUZZZZZZZZZ!!!

SPOILER: Click to show

Lieberjosch: Oh, look at this fool.

Vinegar: Mark Reznik, coming in at twenty five!

Lieberjosch: He’s got a prime slot, and he’s bringing his guitar with him.

Vinegar: Baltimore Elite has swarmed Rydell, as Reznik steps in through the ropes.

Covert Jay: JC drills him with the Big Boot of Death!

Vinegar: JC yanks Reznik off the mat and tosses him out of the ring!

Elimination: Mark Reznik by JC

Vinegar: JC picks up the dropped guitar, turns his attention back to the downed SEB, but Raab gets behind him and pulls him into a German suplex!

Lieberjosch: And now Raab has the guitar, and he smashes it over the head of Ken Davison!

Covert Jay: Raab left with a shard in his hand, he smacks Kyra with it, turns and goes to attack Zane, who tries to catch the fragment, but the jagged edge cuts his hand and Zane cries out in surprise!

Vinegar: The fragment knocked from the ring, Zane ignores the pain for the moment to throw Raab into the air and connect with Murderous Intent, but he uses the freshly injured hand and crumples to the mat holding it.

Lieberjosch: It just occurred to me, isn’t there supposed to be a cage periodically lowering?

Covert Jay: Right, about that.

Lieberjosch: Oh boy.

Covert Jay: Well it turns out that the writer originally forgot about it it had difficulties in transport and then he couldn’t think of any new spots he liked with it it didn’t get here in time.

Lieberjosch: Well, okay then.

Covert Jay: BUZZZZZZZZ!!!!

SPOILER: Click to show

Lieberjosch: Now, who is this?

Covert Jay: It’s Chuck Rydell!

Vinegar: The brother of Dave Rydell, appearing in the Massive Melee, and he’s coming in at twenty-six!

Lieberjosch: Chuck comes into the ring, right away grabbing Zane and connecting with a ripcord knee strike!

Vinegar: And now Chuck turns and locks eyes with his brother Dave, who is recovering in the corner and just realized his brother is here.

Lieberjosch: Chuck smirks and goes to help his brother up, but the stunned Dave snaps out of it and lashes out with a right hand.

Vinegar: They exchange a series of blows, but Dave catches him with a knee to the chest, pivots and tosses him out of the ring!

Elimination: Chuck Rydell by Dave Rydell

Vinegar: Dave Rydell just eliminated his own brother!

Lieberjosch: And now Chuck points at him from ringside and laughs at him.

Vinegar: Brothers will be brothers, I suppose.

Covert Jay: BUZZZZZZZZ!!!!

SPOILER: Click to show

Vinegar: And what a dangerous position for the former Massive Melee winner, Phrixus Deimos, to enter at number twenty-seven.

Lieberjosch: Deimos slinking down the ramp to the ring, entering as Rydell waits for him, and Rydell goes after him right away.

Vinegar: Rydell with a pair of right hands, whips Deimos towards a corner, but Deimos runs up the turnbuckle and explodes back, connecting with the Fainting!

Covert Jay: SEB is back on his feet, but Fear drills him with a spear!

Vinegar: Sebastian Everett-Bryce has been out there longer than anyone else currently, surpassing a half hour, and he has taken a beating.

Lieberjosch: Baltimore Elite back on their feet, no doubt they’d like to do to Deimos what they did to Holden Orson earlier in this match.

Covert Jay: Kyra and Ken have stayed on the same page with each other all match, and have done so to their own advantage.

Vinegar: Deimos delivers a chop to Davison, but catches a forearm from Johnson, and now takes an enziguri to the face from Davison.

Lieberjosch: Davison sets up Deimos as Kyra heads to the top rope, Davison lifting Deimos for a powerbomb.

Covert Jay: But JC tries to knock her off the turnbuckle with the Big Boot of Death, she just barely sees him in time and leaps over him, landing awkwardly in the ring!

Vinegar: Deimos counters the powerbomb attempt into a hurricarana, sending Davison sprawling, and he springs to his feet and catches JC with a spear!

Covert Jay: BUZZZZZZZZ!!!

SPOILER: Click to show

Vinegar: Here comes Captain 80’s!

Covert Jay: Captain 80’s rushing down the ramp and sliding into the ring, and he knocks Fear down with a clothesline!

Vinegar: He builds up a head of steam, clothesline for Raab!

Lieberjosch: Some incoherent shouting, and now he lifts Kyra into a military press, but she floats off into a backstabber!

Vinegar: Captain 80’s stumbles near the ropes, and Johnson gets to her feet and charges at him, tackling him over the ropes, they both go over!

Covert Jay: But she ninja grips the ropes, holding on and rolling back in!

Elimination: Captain 80’s by Kyra Johnson

Vinegar: Johnson stumbling back to her feet, but SEB has her and snaps her into the Stamford Bridge!

Lieberjosch: Another Stamford Bridge for Deimos!

Covert Jay: And now a T-Bone suplex to Zane!

Vinegar: SEB wraps up JC, German suplex, rolls through into a released German, hurling him into a corner!

Lieberjosch: SEB to his feet, charges at JC in the corner, but JC dips his shoulder and backdrops SEB over the turnbuckle to ringside!

Elimination: Sebastian Everett-Bryce by JC

Vinegar: Big elimination for JC, who collapses in exhaustion!

Lieberjosch: SEB was the iron man of this match so far, but now he’s eliminated!

Covert Jay: BUZZZZZZZZ!!!!

SPOILER: Click to show

Covert Jay: It’s Walmart McDonald!

Lieberjosch: This guy gets number twenty-nine.

Vinegar: Walmart McDonald coming down the ramp and entering the ring, laughing and pleased with himself.

Lieberjosch: Raab smacks him with the flanged German mace!

Vinegar: Konrad Raab retrieved his mace from the steps outside the ring, and just assaulted Walmart McDonald with them!

Lieberjosch: I’m fine with this.

Vinegar: Raab uses the mace to leverage McDonald back to his feet and backs him into the ropes, winds up and swings the mace, driving McDonald over the ropes out to ringside!

Lieberjosch: Maybe he can go on social media and no-sell his missing teeth.

Elimination: Walmart McDonald by Konrad Raab

Vinegar: Raab delivers a shot with the mace to JC, now one for Rydell as well!

Lieberjosch: Raab turning his attention to Kyra as she is struggling to get up, Davison intercepts him, struggling with Raab over control of the mace, and Raab shoves him away!

Covert Jay: Kyra leaps at the distracted Raab and connects with a float over DDT!

Vinegar: And Deimos grabs Davison and tosses him out of the ring!

Elimination: Ken Davison by Phrixus Deimos

Lieberjosch: Deimos picked his spot and was able to take out Ken Davison, now tries to do the same to Kyra, but she resists.

Covert Jay: BUZZZZZZ!!!!

SPOILER: Click to show

Covert Jay: Here comes the Dark Man!

Vinegar: Rogan MacLean is the final entrant into the 2022 Massive Melee!

Lieberjosch: Rogan slides into the ring, Deimos charges at him and runs right into the Rise of Hydra!

Vinegar: MacLean kicks Raab in the gut, double underhook, but Raab breaks the hooks and backdrops him near the ropes!

Covert Jay: Rogan to his feet, Raab charges, but Rogan moves out of the way, Raab using the ropes to stop his momentum.

Lieberjosch: But he turns around into a Big Boot of Death from JC that knocks him over the ropes!

Elimination: Konrad Raab by JC

Vinegar: JC’s leg is over the ropes from the momentum of the kick, MacLean grabs the other and flips him over, but JC holds onto the top rope, manages to land safely on the apron!

Lieberjosch: Rogan tries to finish him off with a strike, but JC blocks it, retaliates with a right hand that knocks him away!

Covert Jay: But Zane drills him with a two-handed sledge strike that knocks him off the apron to ringside!

Elimination: JC by Zane Scott

Vinegar: Zane Scott eliminates JC, but he again grabs his injured hand, perhaps made worse by that strike.

Lieberjosch: Rogan moving into position behind Zane, looking to take advantage, but Kyra grabs him from behind and tosses him out!

Elimination: Rogan MacLean by Kyra Johnson

SPOILER: Click to show

Vinegar: We are down to four!

Lieberjosch: Dave Rydell, Phrixus Deimos, Kyra Johnson, and Zane Scott, each rising in a different corner of the ring, one of them will claim the Massive Melee Key!

Vinegar: Johnson going after Deimos, Rydell targeting Scott!

Lieberjosch: Zane having difficulty defending himself from the blows with the injured hand, Rydell pounding away on him!

Covert Jay: Kyra delivers a chop to Deimos, goes for a side Russian legsweep, but he catches her with an elbow that knocks her back into a corner!

Vinegar: Rydell goes for the Virus of Life, Scott shoves him away, but stumbles back into a corner.

Lieberjosch: Rydell charges at him, but Zane manages to get a boot up and catch him in the face, Rydell stumbling away.

Covert Jay: And Fear grabs him and tosses him out of the ring!

Elimination: Dave Rydell by Phrixus Deimos

Lieberjosch: Zane with a surge of adrenalin, lifts Deimos into a fireman’s carry, drops him In Cold Blood!

Vinegar: Zane Scott is hurting, but he shrugs it off as best he can, picking Deimos up off the mat with his good hand, lifting him overhead in a military press-

Covert Jay: Kyra delivers a dropkick to the back, knocking both of them over the ropes!

Lieberjosch: Zane crashes to ringside, Deimos holding onto the top rope!

Elimination: Zane Scott by Kyra Johnson

Vinegar: Deimos dangling from the top rope, tries to skin the cat back into the ring, but Johnson catches his legs, shoves them back the other way!

Covert Jay: Fear gets his feet on the apron, grabs her by the head, trying to pull her over the ropes with him!

Lieberjosch: Kyra grabs the middle rope with her hands, blocking Deimos from being able to pull her over, and she drives a knee into his chest through the ropes!

Vinegar: A second knee forces him to release her, grabbing the ropes to prevent himself from falling, but she kicks his hands and knocks him loose!

Lieberjosch: He’s out! She did it!

Mitchell Dennis: Here is your winner of the 2022 Massive Melee and the Keeper of the Massive Melee Key, KYYRRAAAA JOHHHHNNNNNSSOONNNNNNNNN!!!!

Vinegar: Kyra Johnson has won the Massive Melee!

Covert Jay: What a performance!

Vinegar: And you know what this means, as an exhausted Kyra Johnson celebrates in the ring. Kyra Johnson will join Montague Cervantes, Tony Savage, and Tempest in the Keys to the Kingdom Match next month at Keeper of the Keys, and the winner of that match takes control of their fate at Horizons!

Lieberjosch: Congratulations again to Kyra Johnson, a hard earned and well deserved victory.

Covert Jay: We’ll see you in two weeks, as the Road to Horizons continues!

[UGWC Staff]

Credits

Opener
Dave

Cross-Hemisphere Title
Savage

Cooperative Title
Vespertine

World Title
Dave

Massive Melee
Steve