Sentinel 17/05/09 Results

[T-Robosaurus Rex]

Vinegar: Welcome to Sentinel ladies and gentlemen!

Hanson: Ladies and gentlemen? Son, we’re only on the internet now! Ain’t no 1 watchin’ us but virgins and pedophiles!

Vinegar: I really don’t think…

Hanson: I don’t think you think. Listen who is really gonna sit in front of their computer and watch us stream Boss P’s train wreck when they could be looking at porn, blogging about Twilight, or laughing like a retarded @$$ nOOb at lolcats.com? Virgins and pedophiles that’s who, and both only after peeling one off to myspace whores.

Vinegar: You know at times you have a fascinating view of the world.

Hanson: Nigga please. I wish I had a view of the world ‘round yo mommas fat ass. I’ll tell you one thing though. It’s kinda nice. Now censors or nothing. I’m going to enjoy this. Motherfucker.

Vinegar: How so?

Hanson: Motherfucker? I just said motherfucker!

Vinegar: You’ve said much worse before while we were on primetime.

Hanson: Yeah, well yo momma’s a gloryhole loving cum dumpster.

Vinegar: Yeah, you’ve said worse.

Hanson: Yeah, well her favorite gloryholes are at the petting zoo!

Vinegar: Folks we’re not on television anymore, but we’re the same GIW you’ve come to love. Here’s Mitchell Dennis with the introductions for our first match!

Dennis: Virgins and perverts this is your Sentinel opening contest! Introducing first standing six feet two inches, weighting in at 216 pounds, he is the Empty Eyed Anarchist, this is Peter Damascus!


‘Mask Of Sanity’ by Children of Bodom smashes into play, as Peter Damascus enters the arena. He’s all business as he marches down the ramp and slides into the ring, not even taking the time to scowl at the smarks hurling abuse at him or the small ‘pimp that hobo’ chant breaks out.

Vinegar: New comer here folks. Not a lot is know about this man other than he is certainly a surly son of a bitch.

Hanson: Not true. A lot is know about him. He’s a hobo, he stinks, he was ‘discovered’ by Old Lady Levene, he’s what Boss P thinks passes as suitable competition in the GIW, he stinks, he smells, he needs a bath, he needs to be deloused, he smells like the inside of yo mommas belly button, and rumor has it he paid for his flight to Japan in the currency of the flesh if you know what I mean.

Vinegar: I prey to…

Hanson: That’s right! He was on the other side of that stall the last time yo momma went to the petting zoo!

Vinegar: SHE’S DEAD YOU GOD DAMNED RETARD!

Hanson: My point exactly!

Dennis: And his opponent standing seven foot three inches, weighting in at 245 pounds, hailing from Moscow Russia, this is Vladimir Ulysys!

The national anthem of the former Soviet Union begins over the speakers as red and yellow floodlights flicker on in the arena as the soviet flag comes up on the Globaltron. Vladimir enters draped in a red robe with a picture of the USSR flag on his back to a chorus of Loud Boos, he pays no attention to the fans keeps walking down to the ring. Once he reaches the ring apron, he jumps up and goes through the top and middle ropes in one fluent motion. He then proceeds to climb the Turnbuckle and looks out to the top of the Arena where the USSR flag has unveiled itself and salutes it as the crowd gets more obnoxious and loud to him.

Hanson: Same old GIW huh? Since when was the GIW a place for hobo donkey blowers and pinko commies?

Vinegar: Do you really prefer zombie cult leaders, civil war survivors, or knock off video game characters?

Hanson: Well jeez if those are my options.

Vinegar: Alright, how about people from the future, robots, retards, or self plagiarists?

Hanson: OH MOTHERFUCKER! Just start the match huh.

Vinegar: And Owen Peterson calls for the bell as Vladimir steps off the turnbuckle and right into a field goal type kick to the janglies by Damascus!

Hanson: Yup that’s my GIW!

Vinegar: Damascus following up with an absolute barrage of rights and lefts to Ulysys who’s not trapped in the corner as Damascus adds in those brutal stomps to the seven footer!

Hanson: Someone ought’ta tell him that Russian aint yo momma, and probably doesn’t swing like that. WHAT THE HELL IS HE KISSING HIM!

Vinegar: No, that would a bite. Damascus now gnawing on the bridge of Vladimir Ulysys’ nose, and that’s got Peterson trying to separate the two.

Hanson: Oh, let’em fight!

Vinegar: Damascus backs up, but just long enough to get Peterson off his back before he charges in!

Hanson: Vlad the YO MOMMA impaler catches him though, and pressing him high up with that gorilla press!

Vinegar: And like a javelin he tosses Damascus to the outside and crashing into the top of that guard rail!

Hanson: Alright that was pretty nice.

Vinegar: Peterson trying to keep Ulysys in the ring to no avail, Vlad with a handful of that matted hair of Damascus, and sends him violently into the ring post!

Hanson: Man, I never knew the Commies were so good at hobo toss!

Vinegar: Peterson starting his ten count, and demanding the action return to the ring.

Hanson: And the Siberian Destroy has a chair.

Vinegar: Peterson standing between Damascus and Ulysys, and was just leveled by a tremendous rabbit punch from Damascus! Peterson is out cold!

Hanson: And now we know why he’s a hobo. All the sense to take out the official letting the Russian crush his skull with that chair!

Vinegar: And Ulysys now taking full advantage and liberties with those repeated chair shots!

Hanson: Oh man it’s like the dreg of society bash. There’s not gonna be anything left of that chair or Box Car Willy’s head.

Vinegar: Vladimir rolls the nearly unconscious Damascus into the ring, and is setting up for that Pedigree type maneuver the Order of Lenin!

Hanson: I think the hobo stink’s getting to him though. He looks like he’s having a tough time grabbing Soup Kitchen Sammy.

Vinegar: Damascus with an absolutely terrifying head butt to the Russian! He might have just neutered him!

Hanson: Then another sickening head butt right under Vlad’s jaw stands him up and turns him around.

Vinegar: THERE IT IS! That Backcracker slash Dragon Sleeper hold called the Empty Abyss!

Hanson: Empty Abyss? Nothing like good old repetition huh?

Vinegar: Regardless, Peterson is just now starting to stir on the outside! There’s no one to call this match!

Hanson: Not that it matters! You think that proud Russian’s gonna tap out to a hobo?

Vinegar: Right now I don’t think he’s got a choice, and he is!

Hanson: No he’s not. He’s just congratulating that waste of humanity on coming this close. Watch now Motha Russia’s favorite son is going to turn it…

Vinegar: What was that?

Hanson: Crap I think he blacked out. Probably due to the hobo stench though!

Vinegar: Whatever. Peterson finally back in the ring. Raises Vladimir’s hand once, twice, three times! It’s over!

Hanson: Fucking hobo’s.

Dennis: Virgins and perverts here is your winner, Peter Damascus!

The camwera cuts and Hayleigh Fear walks the hallways of the arena, trying to take in as much as she can of everything there is to see about Sydney in all it’s beauty. She has a mini video camera in her hand and is entirely focused on the shot at hand when she backs into someone. Embarrassed she turns around apologizing but stops halfway when she sees who she has bumped into is none other than JK’s new wife Jasmine.

Hayleigh: I am so sorry! Are you okay?

Jasmine smiles at her, positively radiating beauty from the inside out.

Jasmine: Yeah, I’m good. Your Chassie’s daughter, Hayleigh right?

Hayleigh: You…you know who I am?

Hayleigh’s stunned look causes Jasmine to laugh a little, and it’s such a heavenly sound.

Jasmine: Of course I know who you are. I see you following your mom around, why don’t you ever talk to anyone?

Hayleigh: I try to stay out of the way as much as possible, otherwise I end up running into someone.

Jasmine: I see, well you're thinking of wrestling, right?

Hayleigh: yeah…do you think I should?

Jasmine: Always follow your dreams. You wanna fight, go for it, but know what you’re getting into. And make sure it’s worth it. Listen, come have a drink with me. Let’s talk, maybe hang out a bit, hmm?

Hayleigh: sure, sounds good, but let me get the drinks. And I’ve got to let my mom know. With all the stress between my uncles, I think she’d flip if she thought I’d gone missing.

She pulls out her phone and types rapidly on the keyboard. A moment later a reply beeps through. Hayleigh smiles.

Hayleigh: We’re set. Let’s go.

The two walk off, chattering the whole way.

[T-Robosaurus Rex]

Hanson: God damned hobos! Seriously!

Vinegar: Are you still on the Damascus match? It’s done. I think you need to move on.

Hanson: Who? No, fucking Savana’s back again.

Vinegar: Andy Savana is not a homeless.

Hanson: No? Then how come nobody knows where he disappears to seemingly every other card?

Vinegar: I don’t think he’s that hard to find.

Hanson: Have you ever looked?

Vinegar: Have you?

Hanson: Fuck no, and I’d bet no one else has either.

Vinegar: Feel the love. On that note, let’s send it to Mitchell Dennis for the introductions.

Dennis: Bitches and hoes! The following contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, standing six foot two inches, weighting in at 244 pounds, returning again, this is Andy Savana!

‘Bullet With Butterfly Wings’ by Smashing Pumpkins hits the speakers and Savana walks out, then turns neck in 180 motion, followed a quickl shrug of the shoulders. Makes way towards the ring, while stretching out parts of the body. Finally, gets into the ring, and runs hand through hair for the crowd.

Vinegar: Anything?

Hanson: Do you really want to going? I’m getting desperate for shit to say about Savana’s returns. You know what happens when I get desperate.

Vinegar: Momma jokes. Moving on.

Dennis: And his opponent standing six foot two inches, weighting in at 252 pounds, should be happy to have been spared the brutal night of No Holds Barred but that would make him less of a competitor, this is Osiris!

The lights cut out as do the power in the commentator’s headsets along with power to the large screen over the entranceway. Static is all that is illuminating the crowd, who are on edge to see this spectacle. ‘High Wire Escape Artist’ by Boysetsfire begins with the loud, proud voice of Nathan Gray of Boysetsfire. As the guitars blare into existence, a wall of flame erupts from the ring, reigniting the lights and power in the arena as Osiris makes his emergence from behind the curtain. He stands at the top of the ramp, immersing himself in the reaction from the crowd. Boos, cheers, apathy, he cares not as he looks over the masses and slowly, deliberately stalks to the ring.

The action start immediately as Andy Savana attacks Osiris as soon as he steps into the ring with a flurry of rights and lefts ending in repeated reverse knife edge chops in the corner. Osiris manages to fight back with his own heavy hands, and forces Savana out of the corner. Andy throws another fist with his caught, arm wringer, irish whip, to the ropes, Savana reverses, Osiris ducks a big boot, hits the ropes, and fires back with running thrust kick.

Savana on the mat, and Osiris takes the chance to drop three repeated elbows and then a leg drop. When he stands up to continue the attack Savana reaches up with his legs and locks in a rolling leg lock that brings Osiris to the mat. Savana holds onto the move while Hazel East asks Osiris if he gives up. Osiris repeatedly tells her no, and then reaches the ropes.

Hanson: HELLO!!!

Vinegar: Wait, alright we’re back! Someone should tell Osiris that entrance might not be the best thing for an entirely internet based broadcast.

Hanson: Yeah, no shit. How we gonna get the hits if no one can hear about the last time I banged yo dead momma?

Vinegar: We’ll get hits by showing the hardest hits in wrestling.

Hanson: YO MOMMA… I hit it!

Vinegar: Well Osiris reaches the ropes, and the hold is broke. Savana pulling Osiris to his feet, and a hard straight kick to the patella.

Hanson: And answered with a massive clothesline from Osiris!

Vinegar: Savana back up, Osiris with a big step forward, drop toe hold.

Hanson: Osiris rolls through, both men up, what was that!

Vinegar: I have no idea! I think it might have been the Misery Index I’ve heard about, but I’m not sure!

Hanson: Here’s the cover!

East: ONE!

Hanson: How do you, the play by play guy, not know?

East: TWO!!

Vinegar: What, that part of his profile was missing.

Hanson: Yeah, that or you spent all week looking at porn!

East: THREE!!!

Vinegar: You spent all week looking at porn. I spend all week researching two part plaster and silicon molds to make my own little Unified Global Title belt out of tin.

Hanson: Nerd.

Dennis: Ladies and gentlemen here is your winner, Osiris!

Hanson: You think Savana’s gonna stick around?

Vinegar: Hope so, or at least get an appropriate GIW send off, but only time will tell.

[T-Robosaurus Rex]

"I Turn My Camera" on encourages a huge pop. Moss Edwards and Grace Harding, dapper as ever, step out onto the entryway. Moss pulls open his suit coat to better display the GIW.Com Title Belt and smiles slyly. He snaps his fingers and Grace produces his handheld, which he carries down to ringside, taking footage of cheering fans and zooming in on any poster supporting him or his assistant.

Hanson: So Gabby gets the night off to heal, but we couldn't get a week off from The Baldy Povich Show?

Vinegar: You were so close to cheering The Auteur two weeks ago, what happened?

Hanson: He proved himself in a match without any possible outside influence.

Vinegar: Yes, I think last week was likely the most important victory in Moss's GIW tenure. He proved that most of those other finishes were out of his control.

Hanson: This means that he ISN'T a mastermind, and that he DOESN'T deserve an acronym, and I'm back to being bored by him.

Moss carries the camera with him onto the turnbuckle and turns it onto himself so that we can see him sitting in front of the throng at ringside. He snaps his fingers and Grace, as if by magic, produces a microphone from out of her sleeve and hands it to him.

Moss: Hello target demographic, including you masterbation-happy internet fans! As you can clearly see, The Tastemaker has come to Australia, GIW.Com Belt safely in place around his frame. This was not an easily accomplished task, thanks to the efforts of one Miss Chassie Fear. She gave me a helluva fight, as you can tell from this bandage still in place upon my royal brow. But ultimately, THIS-

A clip of the Twist Ending from the top of the dome.

Moss: Brought the sordid affair to a close, for the moment at least. Now this may be drug-induced paranoia, but now that I am the PROVEN champion, I believe it will be in my best interest to better ensure the security of my reign from those who may want to insert themselves in my matches. That nonsense is at an end, now is the time for NEW nonsense! But for now, we'll leave THAT to be continued...while I secured my gold last week, somebody else took a big step forward towards getting their own. So let's welcome our guest for the evening. To some of you, *coughHanson*, he is now as the Chief Lord Nigga of GIW. As of last week, he can be known to all as the number one contender for GIW Unified Belt. Target demographic, tonight on HeadShots, Lord Hastings!

The HeadShots video plays, dissolving into the Tron video for The Lord of Pain. He marches proudly down the ramp, showing off his new Australian cloak. He steps into the ring and bows for his "adoring Niglets." Grace produces another microphone from her other sleeve and hands it to Donovan.

Hanson: Alright! My attention has been grabbed yet again!

Moss: So, before we talk about your title shot, and all those other things, there is something that the good folks on GIW.Com simply have to know. What is the deal with Peterson?

Hastings: I like to refer to him as Niglet Prime. He has pledged himself in service to the One True Lord-Chief Nigga. To be honest, it's just fair, considering all that nonsense I had to put up with from him last year.

Moss: So then is this a submission/dominance relationship? Or what's going on here?

Hastings: I'm glad you asked. It's true, the Lord of Pain truly is the most dominant competitor in the history of GIW. As for submissions, the Hands of Fate represent the ultimate submission manuever. It's unbreakable, much like the hands of fate that grasp and tug at us all.

Moss: Well, let's not harp on it. Let's get into the real meat of the discussion. After several weeks of, to be honest, nonsense, you pulled one out over the veteran Dredd. How did you get into the mindset to fight The Monster?

Hastings: I mocked Peterson for awhile. You think more went into it than that?

Moss: I mean, one week you're talking like a pirate, the next you are setting a man on FIRE. That's a big change in mood, don't you agree?

Hastings: Don't tell your Lord what to agree with. People don't seem to get that I never went along with that stupid pirate idea. Anywho, it's not like I change what I'm doing all the time. You act like next week I'm going to run around saying "You just need to stabilise the emission of tachyons from the optronic relays to stop a temporal flux in the plasma conduits."

Moss: Now you have the number one contendership, to face the man you count on as a tag team partner. Is that going to cause tension?

Hastings: Of course not. Blessed Immortality is the greatest team in the history of this sport, and nothing is going to change that.

Moss: I mean, there has to be that thought in the back of your mind...a handicap match would surely soften him up.

Hastings: You are missing out on the most significant fact about Blessed Immortality, and the glue that keeps us together, which is that the only reason that Travis Roberts continues to hold the Undisputed Global Championship is that I allow him to do so. He knows I'm better than him, and if you get him drunk enough I bet you he would admit it. I don't need to play stupid games to get at him. That's not what partners are all about. We'll team together, take care of business, and when it comes time for our match, he'll bow before his Lord just like everyone else. It is inevitable.

Moss: One last question, again this comes from the GIW Boards, when's Calypso coming back?

Hastings: ...

Hanson: That's a blindsiding. These questions were not pre-approved by our Lord. This is obviously a touchy subject.

Vinegar: Is that why Hastings' eye is twitching? WHOA! Lord Hastings just took a swing at Edwards out of nowhere! Big right hook knocks the GIW.Com champion to the mat! Now Hastings trying to pounce on Moss but he slides out under the ropes, Hastings is left cursing and threatening him from behind the ring ropes!

Hanson: And Miss Harding has pulled out...a stick of gum?

Vinegar: It's distracted Hastings from his rage for the moment. Grace Harding steps out of the ring to join Edwards, and the two of them make their way back up the ramp, as perplexed as the rest of us at that reaction.

Hanson: Even the way our Lord chews gum is inspiring, don't you think?

Vinegar: There's something seriously wrong with you.

[T-Robosaurus Rex]

Vinegar: Alright, folks, it is time for the next match!

Hanson: Wow, way to bland it up.

Vinegar: Oh I'm sorry, did you want to do something random and stupid there?

Hanson: You know what? I don't. Not this time. For this match, I am going to be a serious broadcast journalist.

Vinegar: Really?

Hanson: Yep. That's why I'm leaving all the jokes to...Marshall Supial!

Vinegar: Is that a puppet?

Marshall: Naw, mate, I just happen to love having fists up me ass!

Hanson: See we can't get in trouble for it because it's not us saying it!

Vinegar: I can see your lips moving.

Marshall: Then cut to the hard camera mate!

Mitchell: The following match will determine the number one contender for the GIW.Com Title! Introducing first, from Taipei, Republic of China, SSSSSERRRRRRAPIIIIIISS!

Nile announces the arrival of Serapis. The crowd pops in appreciation of his efforts in the table match last week. He rushes down to the ringside, crazed as ever.

Vinegar: Serapis came close to securing this contendership last week, but ultimately it was JK with the Category 5 grabbing the victory.

Hanson: You have to give the assist to The Phantom, though.

Marshall: Assist? What is that, mate, like a handjob?

Hanson: This guy, he's incorrigable!

Vinegar: Are you there God? It's me, Nick.

Mitchell: And his opponent, currently residing in Perth, Western Australia, The Diamond in the Rough, JAAAACK SEVERIIIIIIINOOOOO!
Airbourne calls Diamond Jack to the ring. The crowd shouts its support and love for Gabrielle, and Jack stops to accept a get-well-soon card from a fan in the front row before getting into the ring.

Hanson: You have to remember something, Diamond Jack did NOT have a match last week. Serapis is gonna be sore.

Marshall: He should have used AstroGlide!

Vinegar: I know people would probably really get a kick out of all the offensive things that Hanson makes that stuffed kangaroo say.

Marshall: Your mom got a kick out of me...a kick to the cunt!

Hanson: You can't censor an endangered species!

Marshall: We ain't endangered...because all the fine ladies want to ride on the M Train!

Vinegar: But if you could make time speed up, if just for this match, I would surely appreciate it. Amen.

The bell rings. Serapis is quick to charge forward, but receives a clothesline. Jack hammers onto the back of Serapis, aiming for the still visible cuts and bruises left by shattered timber. He picks him up and whips him into the ropes. He catches The New God with a hard spinebuster.

Vinegar: That was disgusting. Diamond Jack going for an early cover here, only a 1 count though.

Marshall: Don't be such a prude, mate! I'm just saying, sticking your head in a sheila's pouch is like getting shoved back into the vag tube!

Hanson: See, he's an educational tool. Jack is banking on Serapis not being in full health, he'll be expecting a short match. Look for more pin attempts.

Marshall: I had a short match...twin midgets! Two for one tickets on the M Train! And you know, when you're riding a Kangaroo, it's bound to get bumpy.

Hanson's prediction is proven correct. Jack nails a big boot to Serapis and gets another one count. Then another one count after a knee lift. Frustrated that the newcomer has so much fight in him, Jack whips him hard into the corner. The impact makes him slump down to the mat. Severino charges with a knee, but Serapis uses his quickness to roll out of the way and the knee connects with the post. Serapis follows up with a low dropkick to that knee, bringing the bigger man down to one leg and allowing Serapis to easily nail him square in the face with a spinning heel kick. This busts Jack's nose.

Hanson: There are two places that will commonly bleed hardway, the temples and the nose. Temples are of course much worse because it can obscure your vision.

Vinegar: Diamond Jack noticing the blood now.

Hanson: Here's the advantage of getting hardway on your nose there, motivation. A man tastes his own blood, he tends to start getting a little bit crazy.

Vinegar: He surely has to be thinking about Gabrielle bleeding last week.

Marshall: Oh, was it that time again?

An enraged Diamond Jack charges with a lariat, but Serapis ducks and targets that knee with a leg sweep. He tries to follow up quickly with his standing moonsault but Jack rolls out of the way. They both pop up and Jack levels into The New God with a shoulder tackle, sending the smaller man through the ropes.

Hanson: Severino actually has many obvious advantages in this match tonight. The size, the freshness, the motivation of trying to do good by his injured partner.

Vinegar: Even professional Hanson can’t stand to call Gabrielle “Jack’s Girlfriend.”

Marshall: Oye, I’ve got a better one mate. Jack’s Jizz Jar!

Hanson: Hey, now, Gabrielle is a classy lady who went through a horrific ordeal last week.

Marshall: Right, Jack’s penis invading her face!

Hanson: I am shocked, Marshall, that you would be so crude.

Marshall: Crude? I ain’t even said anything about her tits yet!

Vinegar: Jack has stepped out onto the apron and dropped an axe handle onto Serapis. We don’t usually see Jack fly. Except for that one time.

Hanson: **shudder**

As the ten count begins, Jack tosses Serapis into the ring stairs, then lifts him up and slams his back into the corner post. He steps back to do it again, but this time The New God tilts his body to dodge the impact and drives The Diamond in the Rough’s head into the post. Jack drops him and wanders to the other side of the corner to shake it off. Serapis rolls into the ring and charges off the ropes for a springboard plancha. Jack catches him in midair by the throat and drives him to the concrete.

Vinegar: RISE OF BRUTALITY, right here in front of us!

Marshall: Rise of Brutality, eh? Is that what he calls his erections? I knew he was a rapist!

Vinegar: I think Jack heard that last comment, Daniel.

Hanson: I didn’t say anything! HEY!

Marshall: Oye mate! You’ll have to get in line, I already HAVE something up me ass right now!

Vinegar: Jack Severino just ripped the puppet’s head off.
Hanson: Come on, that cost me fifteen bucks! And, he just threw a stuffed kangaroo head into the crowd.

Vinegar: Diamond Jack rolls Serapis back into the ring. You okay there, Daniel?

Hanson: I have lost my will to describe action.

Vinegar: Well, that’s really nothing new. Serapis trying to throw some punches at the midsection of Perfection’s Reflection, but he can’t put any force behind them after that chokeslam onto the concrete. Taste of Canvas DDT, you could call that an homage to his injured lover.

Hanson: **retch**

Vinegar: Cover, 1 2 3!

Mitchell: Here is your winner, DIAMOND JACK, SEVERIIIIIINOOOO!

Vinegar: And with that, Diamond Jack earns a shot at the GIW.Com Belt, but I doubt he’s in the mood for a title hunt right now.

Hanson: I’m not in the mood for anything. **sniff** Poor little guy.

Vinegar: One half of the tag team champions will be in action, next!

Hanson: We don’t have commercials anymore Nick.

Vinegar: Then how about you folks go click on some ads for three minutes. My body has become accustomed to sneaking a few bites of popcorn during the commercial breaks, if I don’t munch I am going to crash.

Hanson: You heard the fat man! Get clicking!

[T-Robosaurus Rex]

Hanson: Wait, wait, wait, I have a monumental idea.

Vinegar: Ohhhh no.

Hanson: Ohhhh yes. And I dedicate this monument to Marshall the Kangaroo Puppet. Now usually, we do all the pre-match bullshit and then the rest of it gets done in block. But what if...we did the bullshit in block also!

Vinegar: Then this entire segment would be done in, five minutes? Less?

Hanson: I know! Plenty of time to hit the can.

Vinegar: No, we are doing our job, Daniel.

Hanson: Daniel sighs and thumbs through a girlie magazine while the first team appears on the ramp. They walk down to Warmeggedon and Daniel makes a comment about how they pick songs. Dennis announces them.

Mitchell: Hey, hey, I happen to LIKE my job, Hanson. Back off. The following is a tag team contest scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, he is one half of the tag team champions, RAENIIIUUS! And his partner, CHASSIIIIIEE FEEEAR!

Vinegar: Raenius and Dirge captured the tag team belts in that grueling scaffolds and ladders match, Dirge leapt all the way to the entry ramp to hold on to the straps, he's recovering from the fall this week, but their partner in the Covenant, Chassie Fear, was right there and ready to take his place in this match.

Hanson: Daniel makes a sexual reference in regards to Chassie and mentions Raenius's mask in some way.

Mitchell: And their opponents. Introducing first, from Kyoto Japan, KOMOOOOSUUUBE!

Vinegar: Komosube made a dramatic entrance during the tag title match to save Chinatsu Chen from a dangerous fall. Then his presence on the scaffold led to Dirge's own free fall.

Hanson: Daniel makes a reference to Tom Petty.

Mitchell: And his tag team partner, from Pittsburg, PA, EZEEEKIEL!

Vinegar: Speaking of falls, how about the resilience of Ezekiel? Here to fight after getting burned AND thrown 30 ft onto an ambulance.

Hanson: Daniel mentions the pain-dulling power of mary jane. Then makes another reference to Tom Petty.

Vinegar: This should be interesting, remember that War and Peace, Hiroshima, and the Covenant were all vying for the tag team titles only months ago. Komosube and Ezekiel are definitely more used to being on opposite sides of the ring.

The bell rings and Komosube starts off with Raenius. They lock up and Sube quickly overpowers him, shoving him to the mat. A second lock-up ends the same way. On the third lock-up, Raenius locks up Komosube in an arm bar, and repeatedly drives elbows down onto the limb. The Japanese Powerhouse pulls his arm in, dragging Raenius along with it, and delivers a crushing headbutt. Before Raenius falls to the mat, Sube catches him and picks him up to deliver two more headbutts.

Vinegar: Ezekiel eagerly awaiting a tag in. He still has unfinished business with Raenius from before his absence, but right now Komosube is exacting some revenge for the lose of those tag titles.

Hanson: Daniel remarks that he's surprised Zeke can remember that long ago.

Komosube drags The Resident Evil to a neutral corner and slams his head against the turnbuckle. Leaving him against the post, Komosube steps back then charges forward for an avalanche. Raenius steps back and drives a hard elbow to the face. The big man staggers, and Raenius steps onto the first turnbuckle to get some leverage for a big lariet. Komosube still teeters, and Raenius rebounds off the ropes to pound into him with the Full Frontal, knocking him to the mat.

Vinegar: The Resident Evil hitting a big move early in the match in order to get the 400 pounder onto the mat.

Hanson: Daniel says something about natural disasters.

Raenius capitalizes by mounting Komosube with punches. He lets up at the five count, then throws in a stomp for good measure. Komosube gets back to his feet, and Raenius staggers him again with a clothesline. Then he comes in with a big boot, but Komosube catches his foot and flips him, jujitsu style. He then tags in Ezekiel to a large pop. Iron Man waits for Raenius to stand up, then he presses him into the corner with a knees to the chest. He climbs up for ten punches, then monkey flips him out of the corner. The High Flyer gets up onto the top turnbuckle, and hits the High Beam on Raenius, then mounts him with more punches. Before the five count can be administered, Chassie runs in and hits a low dropkick to the head of Ezekiel. She continues to kick at him as Raenius leaves the ring. Hazel East tries to tell him that it's not a legal tag in, but a cold stare from the black holes of that mask convince her otherwise.

Vinegar: The Dark Rose of course was in that Kaiju Cage match last week, she also had quite the fall.

Hanson: Daniel makes a "going down" joke.

Vinegar: She did not win the GIW.Com Belt, but has stated that she feels she bestowed a lesson on the champion, Moss Edwards. Moss is still a bit wary of her intentions, though.

Hanson: Daniel claims that Moss is wary of rogaine.

Chassie attempts to wear down Ezekiel with a chinlock, but the Red Eyed Wonder powers out with a protoplex. He then hops onto the apron and goes for a springboard High Beam, but Fear meets him with a dropkick. Emboldened, she climbs up top, looking for a moonsault. Komosube brushes past Hazel East and catches Chassie in the air.

Vinegar: That's two catches in as many weeks. Women certainly seem to be falling for Komosube.

Hanson: Daniel boos. Loudly and emphatically.

In a show of strength, Komosube does indeed toss Chassie over the ropes and into the barricade. Hazel East threatens to send him to the back and he smirks at her as he casually walks back to his corner. Raenius has helped Chassie back to her feet, and they are both fully upright when Ezek13l comes flying with his Suicide tope. All three crash to the floor as Komosube chuckles to himself on the apron. Iron Man rolls Chassie back into the ring. He draws his hand across his throat, signaling for the Coup de Grace. He picks her up and hooks his arm back around her neck, As if by instinct, she kicks out at the back of his leg then pulls him down into the Backstabber. Out on the floor, Raenius has snuck around the corner and charged at Komosube, they exchange blows on the floor.

Vinegar: The two big men are brawling on the outside, while inside the ring both competitors are struggling to their feet. Both took a lot of damage at No Holds Barred, right now it's all a matter of who can fight through the pain first.

Hanson: Daniel makes a surprisingly feminist-friendly comment about women's tolerance for pain, receiving praise from his broadcast partner. He then returns to form by implying this is nature's way of encouraging anal intercourse.

Vinegar: Wow, sorry we had to miss that one. Both to their feet, but Ezek13l shakes off the cobwebs first! Here comes that forearm, but Chassie ducks. Spins him around. TWILIGHT! There's the pin, 1 2 3!

Mitchell: Here are your winners, Raenius and Chassie Fear, THE COOOOOOOOOVENAAAAAAAAANT!!!

Vinegar: Komosube gets one last palm strike in on Raenius, then points him up into the ring to celebrate with his partner before walking away.

Hanson: Daniel yawns and throws it to commercial.

[T-Robosaurus Rex]

We follow Raenius walking along backstage after his match, cocky, though also tired, and doesn't turn around until too late, as we hear a loud battle cry and the charging of feet. He turns his head right into the left foot of Komosube driving into his face, causing him to fly into the ground and roll a good two seconds.

Raenius: Argh, fuck! What's yer problem, you fucking-

Raenius had been getting to his feet all this time, but isn't able to react in time as he eats a stiff Lariat, flattening Our Resident Evil out, well...flat. Komosube simply laughs over him, and begins barking in rapid-fire Japanese, even as he grabs Raenius by the hair, slowly pulling him to his feet...

Raenius: Fuck off!

Raenius lands a lowblow, then another, BAM BAM BAM until Komosube lets go, and lets Raenius spring to his feet to land a collection of rights, staggering the larger man and causing Raenius to dart over, grabbing a chair that had been leaned up against the wall.

Raenius: RARRRGH!

Raenius throws the chair full force into the head area of Komosube, but he blocks it with his arms...However, when he brings his arms down he eats ANOTHER chair, and this time takes it full to his face...he staggers back, shaking his head, and it's at this time Raenius charges full blast, LOOKING FOR HIS FULL-FRONTAL before Komosube grabs the frame of Raenius, Judo-throwing Raenius full force into the hallway wall, causing the man to sink...Komosube laughs, and just begins laying stomps into the body and back, pulling Raenius to his knees, only to land a BIG right hand into the face, knocking Raenius down. More stomps, another pick-up, and a Headbutt, laying Raenius out..he groans and moves around, but doesn't get up...not even when Komosube grabs at the mask, and takes it off, ripping the straps as he does so...He turns to the camera and grips it tightly, speaking in Japanese...much of it isn't intelligable, save for constant mentions of 'Covenent', 'Chassie Fear' and 'Dirge', not to mention 'Aragato' and 'Chinatsu' early in the beginning. After a moment, he speaks, slowly, haltingly, in English...

Komosube: ...UNNDE'STA? (understand?)

After he says this, he notices Raenius slowly crawling to his knees, and grips the camera tightly, yanking it away from the complaining camera man...We are now engulfed in chaos as Komosube clearly throws the camera, and we see the ground full-speed before the voice of Raenius screaming in pain is heard, and then static is brought to the screen...only momentarily, before we cut to a quick GiW logo

Hanson: You think Raenius stole Komo's lunch money?

Vinegar: I think it's more likely to be regarding last weeks events. That left Chinatsu and Aragato permanently scarred...

Hanson: Nah, it's more likely to be food related, trust me on this one.

Storm Front starts to play and the arena lights turn green and gold, panning around the arena. The crowd erupts for the arrival of their home town hero. JK walks out to the top of the ramp and pauses. As he holds his hands up pyros go off all along the stage behind him.

Dennis: The following contest is scheduled for one fall and is for the GIW.com championship! Introducing first, from Townsville, North Queensland! Weighing in at 229lbs, the Aussie Superstar, JK!

Hanson: Don’t you just hate cheap pops?

Vinegar: You can’t blame the fans for getting behind their countryman.

Hanson: Country-boy you mean.

Vinegar: Guess so.

Hanson: Guess they all condone teen pregnancy and marriage too. No wonder we were able to get a show here.

Vinegar: Don’t complain about it, it’s the only reason you’re getting paid this week.

JK makes his way down the ramp, slapping the outstretched hands of the fans in the front row. He slides into the ring and climbs up the turnbuckle, posing again to the back drop of camera flashes.

Vinegar: JK of course earning this title shot last week in Japan in that manic Ironman Tables match.

Hanson: Yeah but only just.

JK’s music ends and The Auteur’s herald appears. After his usual bit, I Turn My Camera On starts and Moss appears through the shower of sparks, closely followed by Grace and what appears to be a Roman Gladiator.

Hanson: What the hell?

Dennis: And introducing the Champion! Accompanied to the ring by Ms. Harding and Russell Crowe…

Hanson: No shit! Really?

Vinegar: Apparently so.
Hanson: How’d you think he managed to wangle that one?

Vinegar: Probably some combination of money, beer and bonding over ways to beat a man.

Dennis: From Hollywood, California, weighing in at 180lbs! The Auteur, Moss Eddwaaaaaaaards!!!

Moss gets boo’d on his way to the ring, the crowd clearly rallying behind their local boy, although some cheers go up for his accompaniment. Russell Crowe, in full Gladiator costume, draws his sword and holds it up as he follows close behind Moss. As he slides into the ring Grace follows to remove his hat and vest, then drops back down to the floor as her boss poses on the turnbuckle.

Hanson: I’m kinda surprised JK didn’t bring some of his back-up out here.

Vinegar: He’s probably looking for a fair contest and trusts Moss to be looking for the same.

Hanson: Yeah? Then why the Gladiator?

Vinegar: Cheap support probably. Or insurance against JK’s usual back-up.

Hanson: Or Chassie Fear, I heard she doesn’t think they’re over after last week.

Vinegar: Whatever the reason this ones ready to get started.

Ding! Ding!

Vinegar: JK quickly on the offensive with a hard right hand and a second, Moss catches the third though and twists that arm around. JK rolls through though, kips back up and takes the Auteur over with an arm drag.

Hanson: …

Vinegar: Moss rolls through but JK follows up with a dropkick that knocks him back into the ropes. Irish whip by JK and a hip toss on the rebound, followed up with a stiff kick to the spine.

Hanson: …hmm.

Vinegar: Moss Edwards possibly caught off guard here early on by a fired up Cyclone. JK giving the Auteur time to get back to his feet though as he plays to the crowd. He’s back on him though with a scoop slam and headed to the top rope.

Hanson: …

Vinegar: Little early to go high risk and JK pays as Edwards hit’s the ropes and JK loses his balance, falling back onto the mat. He’s getting back up though and turns right into a knife edge chop and another, and another, being driven back into the corner.

Hanson: What do you think she sees in him?

Vinegar: Who?

Hanson: Grace.

Vinegar: Moss backing up, charges in to hit the Fade Out. Running off the ropes, low dropkick as JK tries to get up. Pin attempt.

1!

Vinegar: Kickout by JK. Moss picking him back up. Snapmare takedown and another dropkick to the back of the head. Wait, Grace see in who?

Hanson: Foolzian.

Vinegar: You mean aside from the charisma, good looks and athleticism?

Hanson: Oh not you too.

Vinegar: I don’t even know what you’re talking about. Moss springs off the ropes and drops the leg across the neck of JK. Another pin attempt.

1!

2!

Vinegar: Another kick out by JK. Moss picking him back up. The Flop! JK trying to drag himself back up with the ropes. Edwards lining something up again.

Hanson: I mean that she can look at him without retching. What’s up with that?

Vinegar: I know, it’s a tough thing for you to fathom but that’s normal for most guys.

Hanson: No way!

Vinegar: Really. Moss runs it, no, JK drops and pulls down the ropes sending The Auteur spilling out to the floor. JK running, big plancha over the top rope!

Crowd: Aus-Sie-Reb-El *clap clap clap clap clap* Aus-Sie-Reb-El *clap clap clap clap clap*

Vinegar: High flying manoeuvre may have put the momentum back in favour of the Cyclone.

Hanson: Russell Crowe looks like he’s getting itchy to hit someone. He probably hasn’t done it since, he came out here.

Vinegar: Grace holding him back though, they don’t want to see a DQ here. JK rolls Moss back into the ring and heads to the top rope himself. Diving elbow drop connects. Pin attempt by JK.

1!

2!

Vinegar: A close one but a kick out by Moss Edwards. JK frustrated, he was close to the title right there. JK out onto the apron now. Slingshot up, off the ropes, Dramatic Effect by Moss takes him out of the air and both men are down.

Hanson: Yeah, double count out finish!

Crowd: Let’s go JK! *clap clap clap clap clap* Let’s go JK! *clap clap clap clap clap*

Vinegar: The crowd once more behind their guy and JK the first up to his feet. Moss isn’t far behind though. The Auteur with a clothesline. No it’s ducked by JK, boot to the gut. Eye of the Storm!

Hanson: Not going for the cover though.

JK: Category 5!

Vinegar: Could be looking for the Cyclone. He’s got Moss up and onto his shoulders. Here it comes-

Hanson: No, baldy scrambles free.

Vinegar: School boy roll up!

1!

2!

3!
Ding! Ding!

Dennis: Here is your winner, and still GIW.com champion! Moss Edwaaaaards!

Vinegar: Moss quickly rolls out of the ring and JK does not look happy.

Hanson: Not many people do after they lose title matches Nick.

Vinegar: A valiant effort by the youngster though, he was this close to capturing the title on his home turf.

Hanson: This close doesn’t count though.

Vinegar: Unfortunately not. Don’t go anywhere though folks as next up it’s our main event.

[T-Robosaurus Rex]

Vinegar: It’s time for the Main Event here in Sydney, and it’s been a great show for these fans down under. The stars that made it out tonight have given their all, and we still have one match left. And the Fans are still buzzing after JK came close to winning the GIW.com Championship...

Hanson: I’m happy he lost too.

Vinegar: That’s not what I meant, and you know it.

Hanson: Look will you just get on with it, I’m not sure I’m that big a fan of Australia if they’re proud of JK, and I just wanna get out of her. I was in the grocery store the other day, and the damn clerk said something highly insulting about my mother...my momma, can you believe that. Disrespectful country.

Vinegar: Sure it is. Anyway we got a tag match that I don’t think we can expect too much out of, apparently Travis Roberts is still in bad shape from last week.

Hanson: It’s all propaganda, ‘The Headliner’ is always in fine shape, he’ll have no problem tonight, even if he is in relatively bad condition, which I doubt, the man is blessed don’t you know.

Vinegar: I don’t care how blessed he claims to be, no man is gonna be feeling to good after the brutal carnage he and Gabrielle went through last week. Seven day’s is barely enough time to get over the flu...

Hanson: That’s a good point, are we going to Mexico on this tour?

Vinegar: I’m not privy to the destination of the tour.

Hanson: i better stock up on my meds, just in case. Who knows where they’ll send us next...I hope it’s not Russia...

Vinegar: Why not Russia?

Hanson: Long Story...

Dennis: Ladies and Gentlemen, it is time for your Main Event! It is scheduled for one fall and will be a Tag Team Contest.

‘Divine’ Starts up...

Dennis: Introducing first, from Manhattan, New York, The Monster....DREEEEDDDD!!!

Hanson: Bet he’s still smarting from the beating The Immortal Lord Chief Nigga gave him seven days ago, it was a blessing in disguise he couldn’t have handled Travis Roberts...

Vinegar: He looks in fairly good health for a man who was set on fire just seven days ago.

Hanson: The Miracles of the sport.

Vinegar: You gotta wonder how he and BoolZ will coexist, there seems to be some tension between their respective, acquaintances...

Hanson: Who knows how these two guys minds work, no sane person would associate themselves with Boss Penguin or Mary-Joanna given the opportunity.

“Wonder What’s Next”

Dennis: And his partner, from Oceanside, California, he is RAAAAANDY BOOOOOOLZIAN!!!

Vinegar: And BoolZ isn’t looking in too bad a shape either.

Hanson: He had over a month off before No Holds Barred to rest up, not like ‘The Headliner’ and The Lord Chief who never took a break and watched some farmhand try and steal their spot.

Vinegar: That’s hardly what happened.

Hanson: Spin it anyway you want, BoolZ was neck high in rancid ring rat’s, when he should have been fighting for his spot. Y’know that lumbering farm hand who replaced him made me miss Randy, but now he’s back I remember why I can’t stand the sight of his bad decision making ass,

Vinegar: Well these fans are glad to see Randy Boolzian live here in the Acer Arena in Sydney, and they are bringing the roof down as GIW’s Red Bull icon climbs into the ring and exchanges a nod with Dredd...

“Immortal”

Dennis: And their opponents! Introducing first, from Hartford, Connecticut, Lord, DOOOOOOONOVAAAAAN HAAAAAAASTINGS!!!!!

Vinegar: And here comes ‘The Lord Chief’ and after his words earlier tonight during Headshots regarding Travis Roberts, you got to wonder how well these two will coexist.

Hanson: You must have been listening to a different interview, I heard Donovan Hastings say they would be triumphant...

Vinegar: And that ‘the Blessed One’ is only the Unified Global Champion because he allows him to be.

Hanson: Who are we to question the Lord?

Vinegar: You agree with the suggestion?

Hanson: Who knows, I guess we’ll find out at the next PPV...

Vinegar: you just gonna balance on the fence for the better part of a month, or wikll you stick your neck out at any point?

Hanson: Trying to make a decision on who to support between these guys brings on my headaches, so I’ll let them fight over me.

Vinegar: Yeah, I’m sure that’s what they will be fighting over.

“Bummer”

Dennis: And his partner, from Phoenix, Arizona, he is the GIW UNIFIED GLOBAL CHAMPION, TRAAAAAAAAVIS ROOOOOOOOOOBERTS!!!!

Vinegar: What the hell is he doing coming out here? Honestly what is Boss P thinking LOOK AT HIM!

Hanson: he looks as Blessed as ever.

Vinegar: He’s covered in bruises, burns and stitches, and look at how slowly he’s making his way to the ring.

Hanson: It’s all part of his game plan, it’s an elaborate TRLAOCIAFSOS.

Vinegar: Why do you continually deny the obvious?

Hanson: I don’t know what you’re talking about.

Vinegar: Look at the Champion he’s obviously in no fit state to compete tonight, he probably won’t be for weeks yet, and you continue to deny his blatent disadvantage, and Boss Penguin’s wreck less booking decisions..

Hanson: Wait, this is a way to disparage Boss P?

Vinegar: it could be used in such a way.

Hanson: Hmmm...

Vinegar: Whilst my broadcast colleague mulls things over, this match looks like it’s underway, and Donovan Hastings has ever so graciously allowed Travis Roberts to start this one up with Dredd. That’s the kind of decision an opponent makes, not a partner...

Hanson: Travis Roberts is Blessed and can withstand anything....but Boss P is a conniving sone of a...whats a female penguin called?

Vinegar: I don’t know, what I do know is The Unified Global Champion just crumpled to the ground following a hellish looking clothsline from Dredd, who now just picks the prone Roberts up and whips him into the ropes, swinging for another clothesline, but Travis ducks, runs the ropes once more and then hits flying forearm on the return, taking Dredd down. Travis looks like he’s already pulling out desperation moves, and he’s squirming on the canvas, in obvious pain...

Hanson: TRLAOCIAFSOS

Vinegar: You sure?

Hanson: Honestly? No...

Vinegar: Dredd back on his feet, and he drags Roberts to his feet once more before whipping him to the far corner and charging at him for the avalanche...

Hanson: Roberts Moves!

Vinegar: Dredd smashes into the turnbuckle, but he’s recovered far quicker than Roberts, who then receives a Big Boot sending him crashing to the outside...

Hanson: But did you see that, he made the tag whilst flipping over the ropes he managed to slap his hand on Donovan’s shoulder, Glenn Burke saw it...

Vinegar: i can’t help but notice Donovan wasn’t stretching out to help his partner, and it was a hell of an effort for Travis to make that tag...

Hanson: You’re just seeing what you want to see, that’s just great teamwork, Blessed Immortality can anticipate each other’s every move...

Vinegar: Hastings anticipated ‘The Headliner’ getting Big Booted out of the ring?

Hanson: Something like that...yeah.

Vinegar: And he didn’t anticipate the same fate happening to himself, receiving Dredd’s big size 15’s directly into his face...

Hanson: Size Fifteen?

Vinegar: Who knows, it’s not in the profile that kinda info, and if it was it’d be bordering on Hiro levels of obsession with character, which frankly would be worrying....

Hanson: True...

Vinegar: Dredd now turns and nonchalantly tags in Randy Boolzian who spends no time in hitting the rising Lord Chief with a great dropkick..and Travis Roberts is still out on the outside of the ring...

Hanson: what was he even doing in the match, I’ve said from the very beginning after the battering he took in Japan he should have been given a week off...

Vinegar: Yeah, we all remember, anyway back in the real world, Randy Boolzian hits a belly to belly suplex on the Lord Chief and now makes his way to the top rope...MOONSAU...

Hanson: Another in a long line of bad decisions from Randy, the Lord Chief gets his knee’s up and FoolZ is clutching his midsection in agony...and Hastings captialises...HANDS OF FATE!!!

Vinegar: BoolZ in agony, he’s screaming and I never thought I’d say this, but we might just see Randy Boolzian tap out right here, he’s in the centre of the ring, their is nowhere to go...

Hanson: but Dredd is concerned as well, and breaks the hold with a kick to the back of Hastings head, sending the Lord Chief to the canvas...

Vinegar: Glenn burke now trying to get ‘The Monster’ Out of the ring, but Dredd doesn’t seem to want to move...

Hanson: I don’t think he’s taking too kindly to Burke touching him just then...

Vinegar: he was only trying to direct him back to his corner...HOLY GOD!

Hanson: BIG BOOT TO GLENN BURKE?

Vinegar: Has Dredd lost his mind...what’s he doing he’s looking at Donovan Hastings who’s getting to his feet, look att he rage, eh wanted that shot....and it looks like he’s gionna take his frustrations out on Hastings now...NO!

Hanson: What the hell?

Vinegar: The Monster just turned his attention from Donovan Hastings...and delivered another big boot to Randy Boolzian...

Hanson: What’s his problem with BoolZ?

Vinegar: I don’t think it’s personal, it’s just business...and just on cue look who’s on the stage....

Hanson: that damn Penguin...wait but I hate BoolZ....but I also hate the Penguin...why is everything so confusing?

Vinegar: No idea Dan, no idea. Donovan seems happy to join with BoolZ in this vicious mugging of Randy Boolzian, and hits him with Destiny’s Call...and Dredd just picks BoolZ up...and hits a viscious Chokeslam...BoolZ hasn’t been given a chance here, he was taken completely by surprise by his tag team partner tonight...and now Mary-Joanna is out here, and she’s glaring daggers at Boss Penguin, and they seem to be having a heated exchange on the top of the ramp...

Hanson: She’s probably not too happy with her gimp taking a beating from somebody else...poor etiquette if you at least don’t ask the master first...

Vinegar: Dredd though now climbing to the top rope...getting ready for the Concrete Piledriver...

Hanson: Hastings with BoolZ over his shoulders ready to place him in Dredd’s arms...

Vinegar: This match has turned into all out Chaos, I think when Burke wakes up he’ll DQ Dredd, but more bizarrely two men who were ebating the hell out of one another one week ago are teaming against Randy Boolzian...

Hanson: Well he is annoying...

Vinegar: Hastings about to hand RBI to the monster...NO!

Hanson: Travis Roberts has made his way to the canvas and he has grabbed Dredd’s leg and flipped him into the ring headfirst...does he know what’s happening...

Vinegar: I’m not sure...but BoolZ has countered out of Hastings grip, and hit him with a reverse DDT, and fallen to the floor...as Travis rolls into the ring....all four men struggling to their feet...Hastings and Dredd exchange glances...Travis looks at Hastings then Dredd...then BoolZ...

Hanson: WHAT?!?!?

Vinegar: Almost in synchronisation Travis leaps and delivers a Huricanrana on Dredd as BoolZ repeats the feat on Hastings in tandem...this crowd is going wild....I think we have just seen BoolZ and T-Rob....on the same page?

Hanson: No....no....no....no....no....

Vinegar: Both Dredd and Hastings have rolled out of the ring, doesn’t look liek they wanna stick around and find out how potent this teaming could be...

Hanson: There is no way they’ve teamed up, there has to be another explanation, Travis Roberts would never associate with Randy Boolzian...he wouldn’t do that to me...first Gabby vs travis, then Hastings....and now this...

Vinegar: Glenn Burke is on his feet, and signals for the bell, whilst telling Dennis Dredd is disqualified, but I don’t think burke needs to announce the result, this wasn’t a match....it was an example of GIW’s unpredictability....

Hanson: He wouldn’t do it, how could he?

Vinegar: As Dredd and Hastings get to the top of the ramp, Hastings goes through as Dredd shoots a disdainful look in the direction of Boss Penguin, who is still engulfed in a screaming argument with MJ, who is throwing her arms about animatedly....and Travis and BoolZ are on their feet...BoolZ cautiously offers out his hand....

Hanson: Please....please....please....give him a White Out....NOOOO!

Vinegar: As Dan has a nervous breakdown, Travis takes BoolZ’s hand, and that guys and girls is all we have time for tonight, it was a strange end to a great night in Sydney, and I hope you’ll join GIW right here on GIW.com for the next stage of The Long Fight Home tour....who knows where we’ll be?

Just before the stream ends we see Randy Boolzian drag Travis Roberts close to him and whisper in his ear ‘We’re still not done yet’...

[T-Robosaurus Rex]

Credits

Damascus vs Vladimir Ulysys
BoolZ

Hayleigh meets Jasmine
Chassie

Savana vs Osiris
BoolZ

Headshots
Moss & Hastings

Serapis vs DJS
Moss

Covenant vs Komo and Ezekiel
Moss

Komo attacks Raenius
Hiro

GIW.com Title
A-Kis

Main Event
T-Rob

Editor
T-Rob