Synergy #5 Results - May 17th 2010

[Lord Hastings]

A video begins to play behind Powerman 5000's 'When Worlds Collide'. John Russo spearing the legs out of a leaping Joker, and sending Mathews and Savana crashing through a table to win the Hard Ten match is shown. Quickly it transitions into Jet Somers landing a devastating Shiranui to Tacker through the wall of the 3rd floor of hell to the ground. Medos' 'Transatlantic Trouble' sending Deimos crashing through a mirror, and then Medos limping free of the maze. Travis Roberts pulling the unconscious Tyvola up the ramp and escaping the Prison Break. JK and Dirge exchanging blows on the top of the Towering Inferno before a Death in Vegas ends it. Kiseragi's fireball to Pierce. Donovan Hastings hitting a Destiny's Call on a chair, and then another to pin Red Fusion.

We go to ringside.

Vinegar: Welcome Ladies and Gentlemen to Synergy. Two weeks on from UGWC’s first PPV, No Holds Barred in Seattle.

Jay: Huttah! What a night that was!

Lieberjosch: I don’t consider a night of unrestrained barbarism something to be relished.

Vinegar: You can’t deny the importance of the night though as we crowned all of the first ever UGWC Champions. Alex Kiseragi, Jet Somers, the team of Tyvola and Travis Roberts and Donovan Hastings all walked away with title belts.

Lieberjosch: It was certainly a good night if you were a GIW fan.

Vinegar: But after that brutal night there’s sure to be a lot of new bad blood floating around. Who knows what could happen now. I don’t know about you two but I’m excited.

Teahouse starts to play to a large ovation and Alex Kiseragi walks out onto the top of the ramp in street clothes, a white Kiseragi t-shirt and baggy grey jeans. He carries the UGWC Cross-Hemisphere title belt over his left shoulder, supported by his good hand. His right hand is still lightly bandaged.

Vinegar: Speaking of Champions, here comes the new UGWC Cross-Hemisphere Champion now.

Lieberjosch: This has something to do with the people already around the ring doesn’t it.

Vinegar: I’m sure it does. The Dragon sent out letters to all eight people there. Those of you keeping track that’s Eric Gold, Chassie Fear, Mark Matthews, JK, Derick Felix, John Russo, Travis Pierce and Phrixus Deimos.

Alex makes his way down to the ring, foregoing any match style fanciness. He climbs up the ring steps and in through the top and middle ropes. Someone from the outside passes him a microphone. He makes his way to the centre of the ring and gestures for those around to gather. Some stand in the ring, others on the apron.

Kiseragi: First of all I’d like to thank all of you out here for joining me. I know most of you have matches to be preparing for so I’ll keep this brief. Two weeks ago I became the first ever UGWC Cross-Hemisphere Champion.

The crowd cheer and Alex turns towards Travis Pierce who is standing in one of the corners.

Kiseragi: And I have to give credit to that man there for giving me a damn good fight for it. Throughout my professional wrestling career there have been two principles I have lived by. To fight with honour to the best of my ability and never to shy away from a challenge.

Lieberjosch: As if we’ve never heard that before.

Vinegar: In the Dragon’s case I think it’s true.

Kiseragi: As the first UGWC Cross-Hemisphere Champion it is my goal to bring respect and prestige to this title. The only way to do that is by defending it against the brightest and best competition around.

Lieberjosch: These people? The brightest and best?

Kiseragi: Many of you are former GIW.com or LWF Cross-Hemisphere Champions. Some even boasting the longest reigns for each.

Alex gestures to JK and Phrixus Deimos.

Kiseragi: And all of you have shown what you’re made of here in UGWC. The question remains however, which of you has proven it best?

Vinegar: I like where this is going.

Kiseragi: That’s why, beginning next week, all of you will competing in the Alex Kiseragi Invitational Tournament.

A small pop goes up from the crowd.

Kiseragi: The winner of which will face me next month for this title.

Vinegar: A tournament to find the Number 1 contender to the UGWC Cross-Hemisphere title!

Kiseragi: I wouldn’t want any of you to look past your matches tonight though. Which is why your performances in tonight’s matches will help to designate your seeding for the tournament. I guess all that leaves is for me to wish you all good luck and may the best competitor win.

Teahouse starts to play again and Alex drops out of the ring. As he walks up the ramp he turns around and raises the title belt with his left hand and gestures to all of the people still at ringside.

Vinegar: The Kiseragi Invitational Tournament begins next week but now it’s time to get to tonight’s action!

[Lord Hastings]

Vinegar: Ladies and gentlemen, it’s time for our opening contest, here on Synergy!

Covert Jay: Huttah!

Lieberjosch: *huff* Must we really come out here and open the show in such a congratulatory manner?

Vinegar: Yes, I think we must. Folks No Holds Barred: Adapt or Die is in the books. If you missed it than I...

Lieberjosch: We're an internet program. If anyone missed it surely they can find it for free on Ares. What a horrific business model.

Covert Jay: Ninja skill prevents cat burglar blunders.

Lieberjosch: Fighting off over saturation, building to five solidly epic pay-per-views on cable, and not showing video of said pay-per-views the very next week prevents stagnation.

Covert Jay: You're such a fuddy duddy.

Lieberjosch: And you're in imbecile!

Vinegar: Regardless. Folks No Hold Barred is a piece of history, and a piece that made history! Jet Somers is the new Chaos Champion, Tyvola and Travis Roberts are the Cooperative Champions...

Covert Jay: Blessed Beards!

Lieberjosch: Absurd.

Vinegar: Alex Kiseragi has captured the Cross Hemisphere title from Travis Pierce unifying the GIW.Com title. And Donovan Hastings in an impressive display narrowly edged out Red Fusion to become the first UGWC World Heavyweight Champion. Folks if you missed it, find it. If you've heard of it. Watch it!

Lieberjosch: Good good. Now that the commercial is over, may we please get to the action?

Dennis: YAY! *cough* I mean. Ladies and gentlemen this is your opening contest! Introducing first standing six foot two inches, weighting it at 244 pounds, this is Andy Squirrel-vana!

'Bullet with Butterfly Wings' by the Smashing Pumpkins begins and Andy walks out, then turns neck in 180 motion, followed a quicke shrug of the shoulders. Makes way towards the ring, while stretching out parts of the body. Finally, gets into the ring, and runs hand through hair for the crowd.

Lieberjosch: For the love of god.

Vinegar: Andy Savana is wearing a rodent suit.

Covert Jay: That is not ninja.

Dennis: And one of the guys that hopefully beats the hell out this asshole wasting everyone's time, standing six foot even, weighting in at 190 pounds, he is the Original Aboriginal Paul Cockatoo!

A Dijerido is heard playing in the arena as a shot of some kangaroos bounding off into the sunset is shown on the globotron before the opening Riff for "Beds are burning" by Midnight Oil takes over the P.A. system as "the original Aboriginal" makes his way down to the ring, smiling a big smile showing blindingly white teeth. as he walks down, he highfives a couple of fans, and if he can, manages to take a peek down some hot girls tops. He slides into the ring, and does an air drum solo to the drum solo of beds are burning, before flashing another smile to the crowd and turning to Savana with a WtF expression. Savana happily begins gnawing on nuts from his pocket rapidly chewing like a squirrel does.

Vinegar: I don't know what to say about Andy Savana.

Lieberjosch: How about nothing. I will not dignify his antics with a response.

Covert Jay: To late.

Lieberjosch: Shut your ninja hole Jay!

Dennis: And the other guy who I'm sure would embarrass Alvin Savana if he had any dignity left, standing six foot six inches, weighting it at 260 pounds, he is the self proclaimed UGWC's Highlight, this is Eric Gold!

The lights dim to black. Suddenly, two giant golden spotlights appear shooting upwards. They aim towards each other, then around the arena before ending at the entrance to the stage. "I've Got It All" hits the arena to a sound of resounding boos, as Eric Gold walks out, arms wide open as in he is just taking the heat without a care in the world. He widens his legs, before sitting into them. He leans forward before sliding both hands through his hair. At the same time he slightly leans backwards and as soon as he is upright again, Gold shoots up in the air, bringing his arms in. At the landing, he extends both arms sharply, as a giant pyro behind him explodes leaving an Golden like waterfall. Gold walks forward and slides into the ring.

Lieberjosch: Finally a competitor built like a competitor.

Vinegar: Eric Gold still looking to make that big break out moment. He's close, you can see it in his eyes, he's damn close.

Covert Jay: Ninja drive? No, no, NO NINJA!

Lieberjosch: Would you just shut up with all the 'ninja' crap. Ninja's here, vermin in the ring, and all the while I'm trying to made a god damned living!

Vinegar: Is there something you want...

Lieberjosch: Do you have any idea how much money I lost on that Travis Pierce!?!

Vinegar: You bet on...

Covert Jay: FALL FROM ULARU!

Lieberjosch: What?

Vinegar: Savana thought about getting an early advantage but just couldn't let go of his nuts to actually do anything in his match, and Paul Cockatoo just hit the Fall from Ularu on Savana! Cockatoo with the cover, but Gold pulls him off, and now Gold and Cockatoo are exchanging heavy right hands.

Lieberjosch: Good, good, maybe this will take my mind off...

Vinegar: Gold shoots Cockatoo to the far ropes, clothesline, Cockatoo ducks, rebounds with his own running clothesline, Gold ducks and hits the ropes, both come back...

Lieberjosch: SEE THE LIGHT! Spinning spear from Gold!

Vinegar: Gold to his feet, he sees Savana on ever shaky legs crawling to his feet, Golden Ending! Leaping STO, and I can only hope that's knocked some sense into Savana.

Lieberjosch: Gold with the cover.

East: one two three.

Dennis: Ladies and gentlemen here is your winner Eric Gold!

Lieberjosch: I'll say it now. I'm not sitting through another Andy Savana match.

[Lord Hastings]

Dennis: The next match is a Hardcore Match. Introducing first, from San Diego, California........ JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHNNNN RUSSSSSSSSSSSSSSOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

"Shout 2000" hits over the PA system as John Russo appears from behind the curtain, smiling as he poses for the crowd on top of the stage. He walks at a moderate pace down the ramp, pumping his arms into the air and telling the crowd to, Shout!" When he reaches ringside, he slides underneath the bottom ring rope and quickly stands up in the center of the ring. He poses for the crowd once more, telling the crowd to, "Come on! Keep on shouting!"

Covert Jay: San Diego... I went there once... Lots of Mexicans... Just thought I'd point that out.

Vinegar: Well, thanks for that informed nugget, John Russo won the Hard Ten match at No Hold Barred in a great opener, which add coal to the overall fire of the PPV!

Lieberjosch: Clearly you fools have not read Article 193?

Covert Jay: You mean the one about how Hardcore is the worst thing to wrestling in the past 20 years?

Lieberjosch: Yes...

Covert Jay: I wrote an article once.

Vinegar: What was it about?

Covert Jay: All I can tell you, is that the article reveals secret to the unknown world... About lemmings... I named it Article HND.

Lieberjosch: HND?

Covert Jay: Happy Nutmeg Day.

Dennis: Introducing first, representing the Covenant, RAENIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIUSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!

Lamb of God's "Redneck" exlpodes into existence over the p.a. and then destroys life as a macabre, dark purple light fills the arena with a sinister and misty disdain as our Resident Evil, Raenius, walks out slowly, proudly wearing his uCw Kings of Hardcore t-shirt, clearly showing it's print saying 'We Bleed For You' for the world to see. He stalks bestially down the isle emanating hatred before he jumps up onto the apron, knee-first, and pulls himself upright using the ropes. He stands, looking out at the crowd for a few seconds before entering the ring.

Vinegar: Raenius made a bit of a mistake at No Hold Barred when he threw his own key to unlick Chassie Fear into the audience.

Lieberjosch: Silly fool. And the match was NOT won by either the LWF Tag Champs nor the GIW Tag Champs. Now that requires great skill of idiocy from both sides in order for that to happen.

Vinegar: Surprised you haven't wrote an article on that.

Lieberjosch: I would of, however my rival and twin half brother, Truthberjosch, already wrote it up...

Covert Jay: Truthberjosch... Lieberjosch... What a family...

Vinegar: The match has started! Russo locks up with Raenius and quickly spins him into an German Suplex! Raenius is back up and goes for a Clothesline but Russo ducks and pulls Raenius into a Reverse Bulldog!

Lieberjosch: Russo stomps on the face, and then moves down to the chest, before going back to the face.

Covert Jay: Scanning the body...

Lieberjosch: Not really, just spreading about the damage...

Covert Jay; Russo is scanning for the major organs to eat...

Vinegar: Russo doesn't eat organs...

Covert Jay: Tell that to Russo-Eats-Whatever.com... Set up by me, admittedly but that's completely besides the point.

Vinegar: Russo rolls to the outside and here comes the hardcore element of the match, he grabs a weapon from under the ring... It turns out to be.....

Covert Jay: Alright, Stop! Hammer time!

Lieberjosch: No, it's not a hammer, but infact a stop sign...

Vinegar: Raenius launches himself over the top rope going for a Crossbody but Russo smashes Raenius with the stop sign right into his face!

Lieberjosch: Raenius on the floor now, curled up! Hands on his head!

Covert Jay: You're getting into this...

Lieberjosch: I am not, you ninja wannabe!

Covert Jay: How dare you! With that I'll exaunt and take my leave on search for nachos!

Lieberjosch: Thank goodness for that!

Vinegar: Why do I feel like that'll be used against you?

Lieberjosch: Probably due to a blatant dislike to anyone who doesn't drive a Toyata Prius?

Vinegar: Russo throws the sign down and picks up Raenius. Goes for a Super Kick but Raenius drops, grabs the sign then smashes Russo with it!

Lieberjosch: Counter attacks, eh? Interesting to see how it doesn't work. Russo was a fool to drop the stop sign.

Vinegar: Raenius throws Russo back in the ring, then grabs a Dustbin, two chairs and a table into the ring.

Lieberjosch: That's a lot of weapons for two men. The plans for them, will be revealed shortly.

Vinegar: Raenius picks up the bin then smashes Russo with it, who falls back into the ropes. Raenius places Russo underneath the bottom rope, lifts both of his legs, then falls back, sending Russo into that bottom rope.

Lieberjosch: Using ropes other than to break a pinfall count. How, ingenious.

Vinegar: Raenius now setting up the table. Russo rushes behind and hits a Running Bulldog! Raenius just misses out going through that table! Russo grabs the table legs and breaks them off the table! Using the two legs, he places one over the neck of Raenius and uses the other one to stab him!

Lieberjosch: Why do I get the feeling this has happened befo- ARGH!

Covert Jay: Payback... Is sweet.

Lieberjosch: What the hell! You threw nachos at me!

Covert Jay: Do you really think I'd waste food and throw it at you? I actually threw brussel sprouts. No one likes them.

Vinegar: One of the table legs is completely bent in the half, Russo takes the other leg and smashes it over Raenius!

Lieberjosch: And another leg is broken!

Covert Jay: Told you, you were getting into it.

Lieberjosch: Quiet, you goat bottler.

Covert Jay: What an obscure profession.

Vinegar: Russo realises the table and is useless and sets up the two chairs, seats facing towards each other, with a gap between them. He then rests the table on that!

Lieberjosch: Ingenious! I bet you he'll send Raenius through that table! Then hit a Stunning Victory for a win!

Vinegar: Raenius is up and charges at Russo who hits a Sudden Powerslam straight through the table!

Covert Jay: Hardcore!

Vinegar: Russo picks up Raenius then connects the Stunning Victory!

Lieberjosch: Told you.

Vinegar: Here comes the pin.

ONE!

TWO!

THREE!

Lieberjosch: I stand by what I previously said.

Vinegar: Russo picks up another win!

Covert Jay: And Lieberjosch looked smart. For the first time in his life!

Lieberjosch: I would respond with a witty comeback, however your puny intellectual mind would not understand what I would have told you.

Covert Jay: Coconuts dislike sharks…

[Lord Hastings]

Grey Coppi stands backstage holding a microphone.

Coppi: I’m here with the first ever UGWC World Heavyweight Champion, Donovan Hastings!

Hastings: Lord.

Coppi: Right, sorry.

Hastings: Let’s back the truck up and try it again, shall we?

Coppi: Uh, okay. I’m here with the first ever UGWC World Heavyweight Champion, the Lord Donovan Hastings!

Hastings: The TWiSTeD Lord.

Coppi: So…again?

Hastings: No, now you’re wasting my time.

Coppi: Sorry about that.

Hastings: Get on with it.

Coppi: Right. So, I’m told you have an announcement to make.

Hastings: That I do. Everyone knows that Travis Roberts instantly created a superstar out of obscurity when he nearly single-handedly won the Cooperative Championship at No Holds Barred. Clearly, the burden of carrying his street begger of a partner is something I cannot allow my friend to have to do on his own. To that end, and as the Cooperative Championship is now TWiSTeD property, I will be serving as an additional Cooperative Champion.

Coppi: I’m not sure that you can do that.

Hastings: You’d be surprised.

Coppi: You’re making a third title?

Hastings: No, don’t be ridiculous. I’ll just carry the World Heavyweight Title. Carrying around two belts would be a bit cumbersome and silly.

Coppi: Uh….

Hastings: So if you’ll excuse me, it’s my turn to go team with the Bearded Bonehead and defend this bitch.

[Lord Hastings]

Vinegar: We're almost halfway through tonight's show, and we're just moments away from seeing UGWC's first World Heavyweight Champion team up with one half of the first UGWC Cooperative Champions.

Lieberjosch: At least we've finally got a respectable number of champions, rather than a company full of them.

Vinegar: No Holds Barred certainly rid us of some of the excess gold floating around, it also showed the potential this great promotion has.

Covert Jay: And we got a title match up next.

Vinegar: No we don't.

Covert Jay: That's not what Donovan just said.

Vinegar: What Donovan says and what reality really is are two different matters.

Covert Jay: You sure about that?

Vinegar: Yes.

Covert Jay: But you've referred to him as the Lord-Chief Nigga in the past.

Vinegar: That's different.

Covert Jay: How so?

Vinegar: In that...it just is, ok? Donovan Hastings is not a Co-Co-Op Champion, and this will not be a title match.

Lieberjosch: Sorry to interrupt you both but it seems Mitchell Dennis is waiting to get the match under way, and the sooner this match is over, the closer to the end we get, so if you don't mind.

Dennis: Ladies and Gentlemen, the next match is scheduled for one fall, and is a Cooperative Match Up...

The lights go out kicking on a red glow from under the ramp. ‘Come Together’ kicks in and Tyvola lumbers out from the back and into the ring.

Dennis: Introducing first, he is one half of the UGWC Cooperative Champions, he is TYYYYYYYYVVVVVVVOOOOOOOLLLLLAAAAAA!!!!

Vinegar: The fans have grown to this newcomer, who made his début in the profession on UGWC's very first Synergy.

Lieberjosch: Yet he's stealing their food...he just snatched a hot dog from a kid in the front row.

Vinegar: The young man doesn't look too unhappy...

Covert Jay: And Ty always looks like he could do with a good meal despite being 376lbs.

Vinegar: A big question mark hanging over both teams is whether they can work together. Tyvola and Travis Roberts seem to have forged something resembling a simple understanding, but how is Donovan going to react to the Bearded Bastard, and vice versa.

Lieberjosch: It doesn't matter who this phenom is teamed with, he is purely a beast...anyone with half a brain could win when teamed with him. He's been mismanaged so far, but I still believe he can escape the shadow of these TWiSTeD Imbeciles and become the greatest wonder we have seen in this industry for decades, with the right guidance of course.

Covert Jay: Of course, but my schedule is pretty full up right now.

'Immortal'

Dennis: And his partner, and UGWC World Heavyweight Champion.....DOOOOOOOOONNNNOOOOOVAAAAAAANNN HHAAAAAAASSSSSTTTTIIIIINNNGGGGSSSS!!!!.

Vinegar: Fresh off the victory that really does immortalise Donovan Hastings, the first ever UGWC World Champion is now looking ahead to a triple threat match to defend his title.

Covert Jay: He's got to defend the Co-Op Title first.

Vinegar: I've explained that already...

Lieberjosch: He's gonna have a tough time when he does defend against Dirge and Medos, Dirge alone might be too much for him the man is a beast, not quite the Hardcore Hermit, but a beast none the less.

'Quick Death'

Dennis: And their opponents, introducing first, he is one half of the Thames Valley Hit Squad, he is...DUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNCCCCCAAAAAAAAAANNNN RYYYYYYYYYDDDDDEEEEERRRRR!!!

Vinegar: At No Holds Barred, Duncan Ryder and his partner Johnny Blake were unable to unify the GIW and LWF Tag Team Championships, but they did seem to finally come together on the same page...even if it's a dirty page.

Lieberjosch: I have to say, now that Duncan will finally get his hands dirty, these guys may have a much better chance of success, unfortunately we won't find out tonight, as for some reason he's being forced to team with one of the other defeated opponents from two weeks ago.

Covert Jay: All depends what you want, a large quantity of matches, or larger quality of matches.

Lieberjosch: Quality? In these matches? You're insane.

'Lights Out!'

Dennis: Introducing his partner, he is one part of the Brick City Boyz...DAAAAAAVIIIIIII....uh?

Vinegar: That's not Lopes...

Lieberjosch: No Kidding.

Vinegar: It seems Derick Felix has decided to take part in this match, rather than his tag team partner. Maybe they figured it would be a good bit of preparation for Felix's first round match in The Cross-Hemisphere Title Contender Tournament.

Lieberjosch: Or maybe Lopes didn't see the point in teaming with someone who is technically an enemy, and Felix is stupid enough to think he can send a message to Tyvola without injuring himself dangerously a week before a title tournament.

Vinegar: All four men are in the ring now, and Sam Green signals for the bell.

'Dashing' Duncan Ryder and Tyvola are the two men who start things up, and Duncan attempts to use his speed advantage early on, only to repeatedly run into the metaphorical brick wall that is the Bearded Bastard. Ty seemingly enjoying it each time Duncan bounces onto the canvas, a huge grin on his face, but after a number of different scenario's end the same way, he clearly tires of this form of entertainment, and the next time Ryder comes at him, he simply forces his elbow into his skull, dropping the younger half of the Thames Valley Hit Squad to the floor.

Tyvola then takes the momentum and drags Duncan to his feet, before throwing him into the corner and working him over. He then takes a few steps back, and then charges, but misses with an Avalanche. Duncan gets out of the way just in time, and just as the Hardcore Hermit staggers backwards, he jumps up and hits a dropkick that sends Tyvola's face back into the turnbuckle, and this finally sends the Cooperative Champion to the floor. Ryder quickly tags out to Felix.

Felix quickly enters the ring, spots Tyvola getting to his feet, and takes him down once more with a springboard clothesline. As he stands over Ty however, the Bearded Bastard springs up, slamming his skull into Felix's Jaw. Hastings stretches his hand out and Tyvola, after a moments consideration and a few glances to the outside of the ring, tags out.

In the time it has taken the Hardcore Hermit to execute a tag, Felix is back on his feet, and he and Hastings lock up, tussling position with various counters, until Felix gets an advantage...

Vinegar: ROCKIN' DDT!

Felix kips up and tags out to Duncan Ryder who quickly climbs into the ring, as Hastings gets to his feet, but he gives the UGWC World Champion no time to think, as he hit's him with a snap suplex and then brings him to his feet to execute another, and then repeats it one more time before rolling on top for the cover.


1...


2...

The Lord-Chief kicks with a little to spare, but Duncan Ryder now feels the bit between his teeth and moves in for the kill...grabs him once more...

Vinegar: DASHING DRIVER!

Ryder executes his finisher and Hastings lies out cold on the floor, but Duncan is clutching at his back, as if a muscle has torn, a disc has slipped, or an injury from No Holds Barred has just got worst. He quickly tags out to Felix, and tells him to make the cover. However Derick Felix climbs to the top rope, and leaps.

Lieberjosch: TOP ROPE FELIX RISING!

Vinegar: NO!

Hastings manages to move, and he quickly rolls over and tags in Tyvola, who charges in as Felix gets to his feet unsteadily...

Lieberjosch: MAGUS!

1...

2...

3!!!

Dennis: Here are your winners...DOOOOOOOOONNNNOOOOOOVVVVVAAAAANNNN HHHHHAAAAAASSSSSSTTTTTIIIIIINGGGGSSS & TTTTTTTTTYYYYYYYYYYYYYVVVVVVVOOOOOOLLLLLLAAAAA!!!!

Vinegar: Duncan Ryder's eyes look like they could explode from his skull, he's doing his best Johnny Blake impression right there, he just set this match up for the win, but Derick Felix cost them the win, and the purse.

Covert Jay: And the titles.

Vinegar: They were never on the line...

Covert Jay: We'll see…

[Lord Hastings]

Vinegar: Triple threat action next and I’m happy to welcome to the commentary booth, The Dragon, Alex Kiseragi.

Jay: Dragoooooooooooooooooooon!

Kiseragi: Uh, ok. Hey, it’s good to be here.

Vinegar: Sorry, he’s…a fan.

Jay: I can’t believe I’m sitting next to a real fire breathing Dragon.

Lieberjosch: He can’t breath fire.

Jay: Don’t be stupid, you saw him just like I did.

Kiseragi: He’s right here you know.

Vinegar: Sorry about them. I understand this match poses a particular interest to you.

Kiseragi: Of course. As I said earlier, those entrants to the Kiseragi Invitational Tournament that are competing tonight will be fighting for seeded positions in the tournament.

Lieberjosch: What about those not competing tonight? Hmm?

Kiseragi: They’ll have to be accounted for based on past achievements entirely.

A blast of noise as K.M.F.D.M.'s Free Your Hate blares out of the speakers. The lights come up, and Joker makes his way from behind the curtain, out to the ring. Jerry follows behind, adamantly waving to the crowd as if he were the celebrity. Joker, on the other hand, remains stoic, scowling and unimpressed.

Dennis: The following contest is scheduled for one fall and is a triple threat match! Introducing first! Accompanied to the ring by Jerry. Weighing in at 184lbs! From Manchester, England! Joker, Mark Mattheeeeeewssssss!!!

Lieberjosch: It’s surprising that you would invite Mark Matthews as well as Chassie Fear to your tournament after their involvement in an attack on you at a recent House Show isn’t it?

Kiseragi: I’m not going to let personal issues keep me from having the best competition available. Besides, you can’t blame them for it. The weak willed are often drawn to men like Raenius. That’s how cults get formed. When it comes to the crunch, Raenius will get what he deserves.

Upon reaching the ring, Joker vaults up, climbing the nearest turnbuckle, and pounded his chest once, twice, three times, before climbing down. Jerry takes his position at ringside to watch over the events in the ring.

You Know My Name starts to play as Travis Pierce walks out onto the ramp. Pyro’s go off along it’s edge. Pierce starts making his way towards the ring.

Dennis: And the opponent! Travis Pieeeeerceee!!!

Vinegar: I’m sure you watched the Piercing Truth again this week. Travis still has some harsh words for you.

Kiseragi: You know, Travis Pierce can be a jerk but after No Holds Barred I came to respect him. It’s a shame he has to be childish and make excuses for losing. If he really is the rightful Cross-Hemisphere Champion though here’s his chance to prove it.

Travis gets down to the ring and slides in under the ropes as his music fades.

Phucking Phreak starts to play and Phrixus Deimos walks out and does some stuff.

Dennis: And finally! Phrixuuuus Deiiiiiiimoooooos!!!

Kiseragi: Now this guy I’m looking forward to taking on. I hear he’s the Longest Reigning LWF Cross-Hemisphere Champion and no offense to Medos, but I’m surprised he beat him.

Phrixus gets to the ring and climbs in I suppose.

Ding! Ding!

Vinegar: Here we go. Travis Pierce is first to launch into action going straight for Deimos. He’s opening up with a barrage of forearm shots that seem to have taken Deimos back. Joker wants to get in and turns Travis round to drop him with a standing clothesline.

Lieberjosch: Wouldn’t you agree Alex that smaller wrestlers, the likes of Mark Matthews and yourself have a distinct disadvantage when competing with large wrestlers, the likes of Jason Grant or Tyvola?

Kiseragi: Um, seriously?

Vinegar: Yeah, he’s serious. Joker quickly follows up with a dropkick that sends Deimos over the top rope.

Kiseragi: Well the big guys have some advantage but brains are far more likely to win you a match.

Jay: Oh being able to breath fire like a Dragoooooooooooon!

Kiseragi: Yeah, or that.

Vinegar: Deimos managed to hold onto the rope and pull himself back to a solid base on the apron. Joker has been putting boots to Pierce on the ground but Pierce has managed to escape to a corner and fight up to his feet with some back elbows.

Kiseragi: The truth is that big guys only have a real advantage over other big guys who aren’t quite as big so their usual strategy doesn’t work. A lot of people, I like to think myself included have styles that can cope with any type of opponent.

Lieberjosch: Ah well you clearly haven’t read Article 3: The Inefficiencies of the High Risk offense.

Kiseragi: I’m not a high flyer.

Vinegar: Deimos is back into the ring. Joker tries to close on Pierce again but Travis gets a boot up to his face.

Jay: He’s a Dragoooooon!

Kiseragi: Yeah.

Vinegar: Deimos with a belly to back suplex, plants Joker into the mat. Pierce onto the second rope. Comes off with a cross body as Phrixus Deimos gets to his feet and takes him down. Here’s a cover.

1!

Jay: And a Ninja.

2!

Jay: A Ninja Dragon!

Vinegar: Deimos kicks out. Sorry to drag you away from my colleagues Alex but could I get your take on the match so far?

Kiseragi: It’s kinda how I expected. Travis and Phrixus are two of the people I think have a really good chance in this group.

Vinegar: Well Travis is showing some dominance here. Follows up on Deimos with a double underhook backbreaker.

Lieberjosch: Mark Matthews is back up but that suplex looks to have taken a lot out of his little self.

Vinegar: He’s grabbed Pierce. Tiger suplex- No it’s blocked by Pierce who gets his arms free and counters with a snapmare.

Kiseragi: Watch Phrixus though.

Vinegar: Pierce has him clocked too. Tilt-a-whirl side slam to Phrixus Deimos, right onto the prone Joker. Now he tries to pin them both.

1!

2!

Vinegar: Both men kick out.

Kiseragi: Nice move though.

Jay: Mr. Dragon. Who do you think is the best Ninja in this match.

Kiseragi: Gotta be Travis. He showed it right there.

Jay: Go Ninja Traviiiiiis!

Vinegar: He might have heard you. Travis is going…to the top turnbuckle.

Kiseragi: Good link.

Lieberjosch: Ha. Here, you’ll see Article 3 in motion Mr. Kiseragi.

Vinegar: Deimos has got himself clear but Joker is still prone. Piercing Blow! Connects!

Lieberjosch: Oh.

Vinegar: Travis covers.

1!

Vinegar: But Deimos is there to break the count with a stomp to the back of Pierce’s head. There’s a DDT to follow up.

Kiseragi: That was an unfortunate mistake by Travis. You’ve gotta be sure that third guy isn’t going to get you when you want to make a pin.

Vinegar: It certainly cost him that time. Deimos has pulled Joker up too and whipped him into the corner. Travis up now and Deimos sends him in too. Accidental avalanche by Pierce and Deimos has him as he falls back out.

Lieberjosch: He calls that move the Numbing you know.

Kiseragi: He would if he connected with it.

Vinegar: Travis Pierce gets out of that sleeper before it’s locked in and spins behind Deimos. Shoves him towards Joker who comes out of the corner with a clothesline. Deimos ducks it though and Pierce hits Joker with an inverted atomic drop.

Jay: Monkey steals the peach! Monkey steals the peach!

Vinegar: There’s the Numbing. Deimos turns and hits Joker with the Numbing.

Kiseragi: Travis hits Deimos with The Truth Hurts though!

Vinegar: He’s not done. Doesn’t look like he rates The Numbing much. He’s pulled Joker back up and onto his shoulders. Signing Off!

Kiseragi: Ah that’s a move that brings back memories.

Vinegar: Pierce with the cover.

1!

2!

3!

Ding! Ding! Ding!

Dennis: Here is your winner! Travis Pieeeeeeerce!!!

Vinegar: What do you have to say about that Alex?

Kiseragi: As far as I see it the best man won there and won well. I should go congratulate him.

Vinegar: Ladies and Gentlemen, Alex Kiseragi has left the commentary booth and is headed to the ring.

In the ring Travis is getting back up, exhausted as Alex slides in under the ropes. Travis gets to his feet but stands with his head down and his hands on his knees. Alex takes his nearest wrist and raises his arm. Travis stands up and raises both arms before he realises it’s Alex and not Brian Chartreuse. Travis snatches his arm away and walks off, climbing out of the ring leaving Alex aghast, shaking his head in the ring.

Lieberjosch: I don’t think that went as he had hoped.

Vinegar: Me neither. I don’t think everything between those two got settled at No Holds Barred and Travis Pierce just showed he’s got what it takes to get his rematch.

Jay: With ninja skills that even a Dragon notices.

Vinegar: Exactly. Next up though is our main event. The Number 1 contenders to the World Heavyweight title, Dirge and Medos meet head to head. Don’t change tabs.

Jay: Internet reference. Nice.

[Lord Hastings]

Vinegar: What a great night of action we’ve had so far on Synergy, and it is time for the main event!

“Immortal” begins to play, and Donovan Hastings walks out from backstage, wearing the World Heavyweight Championship, and accompanied by Owen Peterson, who has the old GIW Global Championship over his shoulder.

Mitchell: Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the World Heavyweight Champion, the TWiSTeD Lord of Pain, DONOVANNNNNNNN HAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSTTINNNNGGGSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!

Lieberjosch: And we’re being joined by the World Heavyweight Champion…’s lackey.

Vinegar: Owen Peterson coming to sit with us, Hastings is here too, apparently NOT coming to join us.

Peterson: The TWiSTeD Lord-Chief is here to address his peoples, ya bettah recognize.

Vinegar: Hastings, indeed, in the ring with a microphone.

Hastings: You all saw what a great night No Holds Barred was for me. Not only did the TWiSTeD legions win the Cooperative Championship, but yours truly is, of course, the World Heavyweight Champion. But just as LWF and GIW are both entities of the past, so too must No Holds Barred all too quickly become a thing of the past. Dexter Vines told me a few minutes ago that my first title defense will be in four weeks, June 14, at UGWC Revolution. Now, which of my new number one contenders do you think got the honor? Was it Medos, whom I’ve beaten before, or Dirge, whom I’ve…beaten before? I guess Vines knows that neither poses much threat individually, as I’ve proven, and rather than go with what would be an inevitable ending, he’s thrown me a little curveball…as I’ll be defending against both.

Vinegar: What a blockbuster announcement! Hastings defending the World Heavyweight Title at Revolution, against both Dirge and Medos in a Triple Threat!

Peterson: By which you mean the Lord-Chief Nigga will be successfully defending the World Heavyweight Title, against Dirge and Medos!

Hastings: I know what you’re all thinking, that this could be a-

Almost as if on cue “The One You Love to Hate” begins to blare through the arena as the lights drop and “MOMENTUM KILLER” flashes across the tron in huge gold letters. A few moments later the bass drum and drum beat starts and a video plays of Dirge driving an opponent head first into the canvas with the “Death In Vegas” before standing up and raising his hands. After a few moments the strobe lights flash and Dirge storms down the ramp.

Mitchell: Um, I’m not sure how to introduce him, Hastings is still hanging around, is this for the match or not?

Covert Jay: I think he’s just here to look angry.

Vinegar: Dirge climbing into the ring, standing toe-to-toe with Hastings, these two had an absolutely brutal encounter just a few months ago at GIW Dark Days, a lot of bad blood brewing.

Lieberjosch: Dirge has taken down some of the best in his career, including Travis Roberts himself, and he looked mighty impressive in his victory at No Holds Barred, you have to think that a very different result could occur if these two face off again.

Vinegar: Things could explode right here, but MEDOS JUST CAME OUT OF THE CROWD AND TACKLED DIRGE TO THE MAT!!!

Mitchell: Oh, for fuck’s sake, I give up.

Vinegar: Hastings out of the ring, Glenn Burke quickly in, this match is official!

DING DING!

Vinegar: Medos delivering mounted punches to Dirge, he backs off now into the corner, looking for the Swift Boot, but Dirge rolls out of the way!

Lieberjosch: A dastardly sneak attack to start this match by Medos, a strategy which you’ll recall I discussed in depth in Article 202.

Vinegar: Dirge countering a charge with a fireman’s carry, transitions right into a sidewalk slam, and it looks like the early advantage taken by Medos is quickly inverted.

Peterson: The Lord-Chief is not impressed.

Lieberjosch: What is with the Cooperative nonsense he was talking about earlier with Coppi?

Peterson: The Lord-Chief is not taking questions on that subject at this time.

Vinegar: Dirge pulling Medos up and hurling him into the corner, measures his opponent.

Lieberjosch: Here comes a running Mafia kick!

Covert Jay: Ninja evasion!

Vinegar: Medos moved out of the way, Dirge hung up in the corner, Medos pulls him out into-

Covert Jay: SPINNING TO DEFEAT!

Vinegar: Medos with the cover!

Burke: ONE!




TWO!




Vinegar: Dirge hurls him off!

Lieberjosch: Medos is going to have to keep the pressure on intensely if he wants a chance to defeat the Momentum Killer.

Vinegar: And he is looking to do just that, trying to apply the Gracious Submittal, but Dirge fights him off and shoves him away, and he knocks Medos down with a running lariat.

Lieberjosch: And while all of this is going on, the World Heavyweight Champion watches at ringside, getting an up close look at what both of his challengers have to offer.

Peterson: The Lord-Chief, he beaten both these hoodz before, you can beleed dat!

Lieberjosch: Must you speak in such a ridiculous pattern? It’s not even consistent.

Peterson: I’m never sure when he’s watching.

Vinegar: Dirge lifting Medos now, trying to secure him in a torture rack, but Medos float off.

Covert Jay: TANABATA!

Vinegar: Medos plants Dirge with the Tanabata, and now he has him by the legs, and he puts him into the English Enigma!

Lieberjosch: It’s his version of an inverted cloverleaf, not a maneuver you see often, but it can be quite dangerous.

Vinegar: Dirge learning that first hand, reaching for the ropes, but Hastings is pulling the bottom rope back!

Lieberjosch: He can’t do that!

Peterson: The Lord-Chief has no comment on the matter.

Vinegar: Glenn Burke is watching Dirge for the submission, but he looks back now and sees Hastings, and Hastings lets go and backs away, Dirge quickly grabbing the bottom rope.

Lieberjosch: But those extra couple seconds of torture could have taken their toll.

Vinegar: As will this, as Medos comes off the ropes with THE SWIFT BOOT!

Lieberjosch: But Glenn Burke is busy reprimanding Hastings!

Peterson: The Lord-Chief need not be spoken at like he is a child.

Covert Jay: Why are you holding that old title, anyway?

Peterson: Hey, man, don’t judge me.
Vinegar: Medos glaring at Hastings, he taps Burke to get his attention, going back to pull up the stirring Dirge-

Covert Jay: GOOZLE!!!

Vinegar: Dirge has Medos by the throat, grabbing him now with both hands, a standing choke!

Lieberjosch: Article 127 was of course about the importance of breathing to winning a wrestling match.

Vinegar: Dirge slamming Medos down to the mat, but he maintains that choke, Medos struggling against it!

Lieberjosch: And look who Dirge is staring at! He is glaring right at Hastings!

Vinegar: Burke ordering Dirge to release that hold, but Dirge doesn’t care, choking the life out of Medos, and Burke is…he’s disqualifying him!

DING DING!

Mitchell: Here is your winner, as a result of a disqualification, MEEEDOOOOOSSSSSSS!!!!

Vinegar: Medos technically wins the match, but he doesn’t look much like a winner, as Dirge releases his limp body, staring still right at the World Heavyweight Champion, as he stands over his fellow number one contender!

Lieberjosch: And will we see a similar result in four weeks at Revolution?

Vinegar: We very well might, but next week, we will see the first round of the Kiseragi Invitational Tournament! You won’t want to miss it!

[Lord Hastings]

Credits

Tournament Announcement
A-Kis

Savana vs Gold vs Cockatoo
Tyvola

Russo vs Raenius
Medos

Grey Coppi Interviews the TWiSTeD Lord
Hastings

Cooperative Match
T-Rob

Triple Threat
A-Kis

Main Event
Hastings

[Red Bull Icon]

hmm... I liked it. Like the AKis Invitational, thought the matches were well, dug the fuck outta the tag match. mostly because though not a recap, it's not that far off what without an announcer narrating it.

I'd like some clarification though. In R!s post I took the match as a dream sequence or hallucination or some other word I can't spell. Was it real or all in Raenius' head?

[Jet Somers]

Nice show, but, I'm with Tyvola here... I thought the 'house show' attack was supposed to be a drunken delusion?

I know that we discussed it before it was posted and I was under the impression that it was so.


Maybe A-kis and the announcers have been hitting the old sauce?

[Alex Kiseragi]

I understood it as reality while Raenius was drunk/sinking further into insanity. Which is why he asked for permission to beat up A-Kis. If it wasn't real it wouldn't have mattered.

[Jet Somers]

Yeah, he asked me for permission as well. I turned it down due to my current 'no covenant vendetta' thing, but suggested that he play up the delirium part so it could be explained.

Either way, I'm sure it can be explained one way or another. Jet was on vacation tho, tbh.