Chaos in Chelsea 2023

[UGWC Staff]

Chaos in Chelsea

Vinegar: Ladies and gentlemen, wrestling fans from around the world, welcome to a night of absolute mayhem and madness!

Lieberjosch: It's a historic night for the world of professional wrestling as we proudly present "Chaos in Chelsea"!

Vinegar: We're coming to you live on this electrifying night from the hallowed grounds of Stamford Bridge in the heart of London, England.

Lieberjosch: We've got an action-packed lineup that's going to leave you on the edge of your seats all night long.

Vinegar: In our opening match, it's a battle to determine the #1 contender to the Chaos Championship.

Covert Jay: The Dark Destroyer, John Blade, Konrad Raab, and Phrixus Deimos, will not hold back as they face off with a unique stipulation - they've each brought a weapon to the ring!

Lieberjosch: Then, we've got the Cross-Hemisphere Championship on the line.

Vinegar: Zane Scott defends against Ezra Wolf in a match that has been on a pressure cooker for weeks!

Covert Jay: Alan Wallace and Dave Rydell go one-on-one to settle the grudge that began at Wrestlestock when the Vain One returned!

Lieberjosch: The Cooperative Championship hangs in the balance as The Suplex Cops take on Tragedia del’Arte in a Highwire Match.

Vinegar: Larry Tact faces off against Travis Pierce, with the winner earning the right to challenge for the World Heavyweight Championship.

Lieberjosch: And in our main event, it's a clash for the ages - a Title versus Title match with a two out of three falls stipulation!

Covert Jay: Fall #1 will be contested under standard rules, Fall #2 will be under Chaos Rules, and if necessary, Fall #3 will be a Last Person Standing match.

Vinegar: Lucy Wylde, the World Heavyweight Champion, goes head-to-head with Sebastian Everett-Bryce, the Chaos Champion.

Lieberjosch: Here’s the rub, whoever wins walks away with both championships, and the Chaos Championship will be vacated on the next Synergy!

Covert Jay: So, fasten your seatbelts, Coalition fans, because tonight, at Chaos in Chelsea, we're in for a night of unparalleled excitement, drama, and, of course, chaos!

Vinegar: Let’s get into it with our first match, Sadistic Madness!

Phucking Phreak by Velvet Acid Christ plays as Phrixus Deimos slinks out to the ring, twirling a chain and allowing it to wrap around his forearm each time.

Feuer Frei by Rammstein plays over the sound system as Konrad comes out through the curtain with his flanged German mace with him, acting erratic with an angry look on his face, rising the flanged German mace in the air, wearing red and black face paint on the right side of his face with a red and black suit hoodie over his head he wears with pieces of flame blood designed all over them. He also has a penguin, walrus and a polar bear stitching on the left-hand side of his chest on his gear, stating Stop Climate Change. He also wears black boots along with Red and Black Gloves on his hands before he crouches down on the floor with the flanged German mace in front of him, looking at the ring with evil intentions.

Mitchell Dennis: From Cologne, Germany, he is Burned In Blood, Konrad Raab!

After the announcement, Konrad picks up his flanged German mace and slowly walks to the ring with a massive amount of boos before Konrad runs up the steps and goes underneath the ropes. As he's in the ring, Konrad without showing any sign of acknowledgement from the fans, lays the flanged German mace on the turnbuckle, then sits in the corner of the ring with the crowd booing him, having a nasty look in his eyes, flicking his fists as if he's already ready to fight, with ring staff taking Konrad's flanged German mace away, waiting for the match to start as he takes his hoodie off from his head.

The Time is Now hit's to play as he walks out on stage. He talks to the camera man and bounces a little. He holds up his “Never Give Up” logo flag and tosses it to the fans. He salutes and runs straight down towards the ring. He bounces off the ropes side to side and he holds up his “Hustle, Loyalty, and Respect” shirt. He takes off his hat and tosses his shirt to the fans and removes his chain to wrap it around his fist.

The lights plunge the arena into darkness as “Die Eier von Satan” blares through the arena. Strobes flash in time with the weird and creepy video. A few seconds in he comes leaping out onto the stage, but strangely doesn’t trip or fall. That’s probably because Err Bear is with him!!

Lieberjosch: Wha– when did they get to the ring??

Covert Jay: DD didn’t even get caught in the ropes?!

Lieberjosch: This is going to be a long night…

Vinegar: Hazel East signals for the bell, and the match is officially underway!

Lieberjosch: Blade and Deimos immediately make a beeline for each other, each clutching a steel chain in their hands.

Covert Jay: They circle one another, chains clinking ominously.

Vinegar: Konrad stands ready with his flanged mace, eyeing the two chain-wielding opponents cautiously.

Lieberjosch: Dark Destroyer, on the other hand, is in a corner of the ring, keeping a close eye on the enormous blue bear he brought with him.

Vinegar: Phrixus strikes first, swinging his steel chain like a whirlwind toward Blade!

Covert Jay: Blade narrowly dodges, narrowly avoiding getting tangled up in the chain.

Vinegar: The crowd roars in excitement as the two men exchange wild, chain-fueled blows, each trying to gain the upper hand.

Lieberjosch: Meanwhile, Raab seizes the opportunity and rushes toward Dark Destroyer, mace raised high.

Vinegar: He swings with all his might, but Err Bear intervenes, swiping its massive paw at Raab.

Lieberjosch: He manages to avoid a direct hit but suddenly finds his hair has turned pink?

Vinegar: Back in the center of the ring, Blade and Fear are still locked in a brutal chain duel.

Covert Jay: Chains collide with bone-jarring force as they take turns landing hits on each other.

Vinegar: Dark Destroyer, seeing the chaos unfold around him, decides it's time to release Err Bear into the madness!

In a moment, the ring mat separates into six pieces, each square rising or lowering to a different height.

The competitors’ ring outfits appear to have switched bodies without their notice, except Dark Destroyer.

The ring is surrounded by six foot Err Bears holding paws and circling the ring while singing;

_{“He’s got the whole world… in his hands…”}

Out of nowhere	Craig Cogan
Captain 80s	Hot Pursuit!

Cogan slides under the ring, and spins around holding a big hoagie wrapped in Barbed Wire.

It's SANDWICH!!

He clobbers the Cap, then drags him up the ramp and backstage!

L i g h t n i n g   s t r i k e s   e a c h   r i n g   p o s t ,   c a u s i n g   t h e   s e c t i o n s   o f   r i n g   t o   s h u f f l e   a n d   t h r o w   e v e r y o n e   o f f   t h e i r   f e e t   e x c e p t   D a r k   D e s t r o y e r.

The lights go out, then come back on. Jay, Vinegar, and Lieberjosch all find themselves in different chairs.

Covert Jay: Let’s do it again!!

Vinegar: Let’s don’t.

Lieberjosch: Raab, regaining his composure, takes another swing at Dark Destroyer.

Covert Jay: This time, his flanged mace connects with his evil flank, causing DD to yelp in pain and retreat to his corner.

Vinegar: Raab advances on Destroyer, swinging his mace!

Lieberjosch: DD is surprisingly agile–for him–as he avoids the swing!

Vinegar: He ducks and dodges, then lunges at Raab, knocking him down to the mat.

Lieberjosch: Deimos gains the upper hand in his chain duel with Blade by wrapping the chain around Blade's neck, pulling it tight and choking him.

Covert Jay: Blade desperately gasps for air, his vision blurring.

Vinegar: He goes down to one knee… then collapses!

Covert Jay: Deimos hits THE NUMBING and covers!


One…



Two…

Lieberjosch: Destroyer scoops up Raab’s flanged mace!

Vinegar: He swings it with all his might, catching Fear off guard.

Lieberjosch: He takes it across the shoulder and is knocked to the mat!

Covert Jay: As DD tries to capitalize, Fear lunges forward, his steel chain whistling through the air.

Vinegar: DD blocks the attack with the mace, the flanges clanging against the chain's metal links.

Lieberjosch: Sparks fly, and the crowd gasps as the two combatants engage in a ferocious dance of offense and defense.

Covert Jay: Meanwhile, Err Bear watches the skirmish with an eerie calmness.

Lieberjosch: As Fear yanks the mace out of DD’s hands, Err Bear roars to life, charging up the ramp and running straight up the GlobalTron?

Vinegar: She’s standing atop the screen and roaring toward the ring.

Covert Jay: THE DARK ABYSS OF FATHOMLESS EVIL

Lieberjosch: I… I can’t believe what I’ve just seen.

Covert Jay: He’s going for the cover! How can this be?!

Vinegar: Raab has recovered his mace!

LIeberjosch: He swings his mace with all his might, the flanges crashing into DD’s chest.

Covert Jay: Err Bear vanishes!

Vinegar: Fear, quickly hopping to his feet!

Lieberjosch: The chain slices through the air, creating a deadly dance that keeps Konrad backpedaling.

Vinegar: Raab, struggling to maintain his balance, swings his mace erratically.

Lieberjosch: The mace connects with the chain, the impact causing it to whip backward.

Vinegar: Fear finds himself entangled in his own chain due to the shifting terrain.

Lieberjosch: Raab sees his opening and…

Cover Jay: FLAMING DRIVER

Lieberjosch: Fear ate every inch of that piledriver!!

Vinegar: Raab’s not done!

Covert Jay: THE BURN PIN

Vinegar: Konrad goes for the cover…


One…



Two…







Three!!!

Vinegar: Konrad has done it! He’s the Chaos #1 Contender!

Lieberjosch: Will we see the emergence of a new unstoppable Chaos reign with Burned in Blood?!

[UGWC Staff]

Mitchell Dennis: The following contest is scheduled for one fall.

Crowd: ONE FALL!

Mitchell Dennis: And it is for the UGWC Cross-Hemisphere Championship!

Ezra Wolf makes his way out of the curtain as ‘California Love’ by A Joker’s Rage comes blaring out of the speakers and pauses at the top of the ramp. He heads towards the ring, slapping hands and singing along to his entrance music closely flanked by Mr. Pax. He walks up the stairs and hops onto the apron before stepping up onto the middle turnbuckle. He pauses to play the air guitar a bit before stepping on the top rope and jumping into the ring. As he lands, he rolls forward and ends up on one knee in the center of the ring. Ezra throws him arms and head back, letting out a primal scream before tearing off his entrance gear. He hands it to Mr. Pax then takes a knee in his corner as he waits for the match to begin.

Mitchell: Introducing first, the challenger. He is the Red Eyed Warrior… Ezraaaaaaa Woooooollllllffffff!!!

Vinegar: Ezra Wolf, a former Co-Operative Champion, Conquest Champion, and, most importantly given the match, Cross-Hemisphere Champion.

"Break Those Bones Whose Sinews Gave Them Motion" by Meshuggah hits and the lights change as Zane Scott steps out. He saunters down the ramp, staring a hole right through his opponent, with the Cross-Hemisphere Title strapped around his waist. He reaches the bottom of the ramp and walks up the steps, before climbing into the ring. Seemingly not taking his eyes off of Ezra. Zane reaches his corner, removes the championship, and hands it over.

Mitchell: And his opponent, he is the UGWC Cross-Hemisphere Champion… Zaaaaannneeee Ssscccooottttttttt!!!!!

Leiberjosch: Zane Scott, a man of many successes in UGWC. Most recently, defeating JC for that title right there, at WrestleStock.

DING DING DING

Covert Jay: And there is the opening bell. We are underway!!!

Vinegar: These two have a very heated history, and certainly no love lost between them. And tonight, it’s all about the Cross-Hemisphere Title. If Ezra can get the win, he will be a two time champion. Zane, the current holder, is on his third reign.

Leiberjosch: After defeating JC for the title at WrestleStock, we are going to see if this reign was meant to be, or if it’s going to be the same Zane we’ve seen in most recent years.

Vinegar: What do you mean by that?

Leiberjosch: Well, let’s be honest. He hasn’t had the greatest of times lately, and he certainly has been pointing a finger directly at the consortium. I also think he’s a bit crazy.

Covert Jay: Ohhhh you don’t know crazy.

Vinegar: Before we get into your shenanigans, let’s focus on the action. Ezra already has Zane in a reverse waist lock. But Zane is maneuvering out!

Covert Jay: Reverse to the waist lock. Zane now behind Ezra. Zane going for a body throw as he couldn’t quite get him for a German suplex, but Ezra squirms out, last second.

Leiberjosch: Ezra rushing at Zane. Arm drag from the champion!

Vinegar: Ezra rushes back, ducking a clothesline. He hits the ropes!

Covert Jay: Ezra ducks a reverse elbow and hits the ropes again!

Leiberjosch: Hopefully he’s not just going to run the ropes the whole night.

Vinegar: On the rebound, Ezra leaps and takes Zane down with a leaping forearm smash! Now he’s mounted Zane and goes for mounted strikes but Zane quickly rolls it over and goes for a vicious elbow smash but Ezra dodges his head to the side and Zane slams it into the mat!

Covert Jay: Zane comes off and Ezra gets some distance.

Leiberjosch: The two meet back in the middle, while Zane shakes his arm as that elbow took a spot of damage. They lock up.

Vinegar: Collar and elbow tie up, and Zane wrenches the arm of the challenger. He gets behind Ezra and puts him in a hammer lock. Ezra flailing his other arm and grabs the back of Zane’s head. He can’t move so he kicks his own legs out and hits a reverse jawbreaker!

Covert Jay: Zane staggers back for a moment and Ezra takes advantage. He swoops around behind Zane and school boy’s him but doesn’t even get a 1 count.

Leiberjosch: Zane is back up and waves a finger at Ezra, who smirks. Ezra, carelessly charges and looks to leap but doesn’t! This catches Zane off guard as Ezra comes in with a knee strike to the midsection!

Vinegar: Ezra takes advantage and starts hitting multiple leg strikes. Kick to the thigh, knee strike to the stomach, forearm smash to the face, club to the top of the head, another knee strike to the stomach. Zane doubles over for half a second and Ezra grabs him for a DDT!

Covert Jay: Zane rolls away quickly as he hits the mat and Ezra makes chase. Zane is prepared though and grabs Ezra by the ankles and works up to the knees, taking down the challenger. He mounts Ezra and uses his left hand to block Ezra’s hands and his right hand to lay in some hard shots to the head!

Leiberjosch: Ezra, trying to cover up, eventually does, but takes some damage in the process. Zane lets off the barrage as Ezra has begun the blockade.

Vinegar: Zane pulls Ezra up off the mat, but Ezra tries to fight out of it. Ezra takes a knee strike to the side of the head from the champion, and Zane sends him into the corner. Ezra doesn’t stay as he bounces out and Zane pulls him in for a powerslam!

Covert Jay: Zane takes a second to think about the cover but decides against it. He pulls up Ezra and walks him to the ropes, where he leans against and starts whaling on the challenger.

Leiberjosch: The referee, trying to break it up but to no avail. Zane pulls Ezra off the ropes and sends him into a different corner. He charges and follows up with a clothesline.

Vinegar: Ezra stays put, but a bit more slumped than before. Zane grabbing him and hooking his arms over the top rope, pulling tightly, causing pain to the challenger.

Covert Jay: After a few seconds, Zane breaks it so as not to get disqualified. He pulls Ezra out and knees him in the gut, then clubs him in the back. Ezra is down, flat on the mat.

Leiberjosch: As Zane goes to pull him up, Ezra tries to swing wildly to fight away but Zane stops it very quickly with a shot to the head. He grabs Ezra and takes him to the corner, slamming him face first on the turnbuckle!

Vinegar: Zane picks Ezra up and lifts him onto the top rope and climbs up after. He hooks the arm around his neck and goes to lift Ezra for a superplex but Ezra hooks the turnbuckle with his foot! He’s not going anywhere!

Covert Jay: Ezra, throwing shot after shot to the gut of Zane, but it isn’t breaking the hold!

Leiberjosch: Zane finally lets up and just punches Ezra right in the face! Ezra slumps back on the top rope and Zane drops down. He grabs Ezra onto his shoulders, as he was at the perfect height. Zane walks him to the middle of the ring and goes to toss him up but Ezra jumps at the right moment!

Vinegar: He avoided the knee!!! Ezra broke out of In Cold Blood!

Covert Jay: Zane goes after Ezra but Ezra slides around Zane and hits a quick dropkick, sending Zane chest first into the corner! Zane staggers back and gets rolled up by Ezra!



1!!!



2!!!



Kick out!



Leiberjosch: Ezra gets up, grabbing Zane, and hits a quick snap suplex. Ezra then drops down and grabs the leg for a single leg crab! He rolls him over and it’s locked in!!!

Vinegar: Ezra leans back on the hold while Zane yells out in pain. He’s reaching for the ropes but has to crawl a little to get them!

Covert Jay: Zane, using everything he’s got, is able to get his finger tips on the ropes and the hold is broken. Ezra lets go and backs up for a moment. Zane is getting up, using the ropes to save that little bit of energy he can.

Leiberjosch: Ezra rushes and charges at him but Zane catches him and dumps him over the top rope to the ground outside!!!!!!!

Vinegar: Zane takes a moment before rolling to the outside and the count begins!



1…



2…



Covert Jay: Zane grabs Ezra and whips him into the ring apron, chest first. He bounces back and Zane lifts him for a back suplex but Ezra continues the momentum and rolls backwards off of Zane’s shoulder! He shoves Zane forward into the edge of the ring, chest first.



5…



6…



Leiberjosch: Payback is a bitch sometimes!

Vinegar: Ezra quickly rolls back into the ring, and back out to restart the count.



1…



Covert Jay: Ezra grabs Zane and whips him towards the ring steps, but Zane reverses and sends Ezra! Ezra jumps up, landing atop the steep stairs and turns.

Leiberjosch: As he turns, Zane yanks his leg, causing Ezra to land on his back, right on the steps.



3…



4…



5…



Vinegar: Zane picks up Ezra and rolls him into the ring, following shortly after.

Covert Jay: Zane grabs Ezra and whips him into the corner, back first. Ezra lets out a bit more of a wince as the pain from landing on the steps is still there. Zane gets in close and starts landing strike after strike, kicks and punches.

Leiberjosch: Ezra eventually staggers out of the corner and Zane picks him up for a slam but Ezra fights out. Ezra runs the ropes again but Zane picks him up at the last second… FULL THROATED!!!

Vinegar: Ezra bounced off that rope and flung halfway across the ring! Zane drops into the cover!



1!!!



2!!!



Th-KICK OUT!



Covert Jay: Holy moly! Ezra barely got the shoulder up in time! Zane can’t be happy about that. I mean, who would, honestly?

Leiberjosch: Zane gets up and looks at Ezra, who’s trying to get up, and kicks him back down. He picks up Ezra and sets him up for a powerbomb, but Ezra lifts Zane out of desperation and flips him over! Both men fall to the mat.

Vinegar: Ezra, quickly trying to get up but stumbling along the way, is finally up. Zane is up and turns around, right into KICKIN’ IT OLD SCHOOOL!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ezra spins with the kick and falls right into the cover!



1!!!



2!!!



Kick out!!!



Covert Jay: Ezra wasting no time going after the champion… He pulls Zane up and goes for a suplex but Ezra’s knee gives out. Zane stumbles back and comes off the ropes to a kneeling Ezra. Ezra ducks the clothesline!

Leiberjosch: Zane hits the opposite ropes! Ezra is back up and jumps over a charging Zane! Ezra rushes the ropes as Zane turns around… DAUNTLESS DDT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ezra drops into another cover!!!!!!



1!!!



2!!!



THRE-KICKOUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Vinegar: ZANE SCOTT GOT THE SHOULDER UP! HE GOT THE SHOULDER UP!

Covert Jay: Ezra cannot believe it! And these two men are exhausted. They’ve been giving it everything they have in this match, for not only a bit of retribution or for hatred but also, for the UGWC Cross-Hemisphere Championship.

Leiberjosch: Both men are slow to their feet, but they finally reach a standing base. Once they realize what’s going on they turn to face one another.

Vinegar: Both men quickly look at each other and hit the opposite ropes. They come full force in the middle of the ring and clothesline each other down! The referee starts the count!



1…



2…



3…



4…



5…



6…



Covert Jay: Ezra begins to stir…



7…



8…



Leiberjosch: Zane stirs and is up to a knee.

Vinegar: Ezra stalks Zane from behind and grabs him as he rises. Zane hits a quick back elbow to break it and pulls in the challenger.

Covert Jay: He lifts him on his shoulders…

Leiberjosch: Ezra wiggles out and drops behind Zane! He kicks the back of the knee of the champion! Zane drops to it. Ezra comes off the ropes…

Vinegar: BLINDSPOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Covert Jay: ZANE SENSED IT AND DUCKED OUT OF THE WAY!

Leiberjosch: Ezra flies right by Zane. He hits the brakes and turns around. Zane kicks him in the gut…

Vinegar: Zane lifts him up!

Covert Jay: IN COLD BLOOOOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Leiberjosch: Zane covers!!!!!!!



1!!!



2!!!



3!!!!!!



DING DING DING!!!!!!!

Mitchell: Here is your winner and STILLLL the UGWC Cross-Hemisphere Champion… ZAAAANNNEEEE SCCCOOTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!

Zane gets back to his feet and grasps the championship after being announced the winner of the match. He catches his breath then motions for a microphone. The ring attendant obliges and Zane steps back towards the center of the ring, his eyes staring directly at Ezra.

“I told you, kid.” Zane says, pausing to continue catching his breath. “Win or lose, it’s time you finally learn the truth.”

He motions towards the GlobalTron and it flickers to life with a date-stamp reading July 16th 2012.

Vinegar: Sweet Jesus! Stay down, kid.

Wade kicks out yet again and Stein looks at the rookie with disbelief in his eyes. He grabs Ezra by the hair and drags him toward the corner. He sets him on the top rope.

Covert Jay: Could be going for the Flatline!

Leiberjosch: This is what is known as a mercy kill, folks.

Alex grips Ezra around the neck and takes a few steps forward but Ezra shoves him off. Stein turns around to a boot to the face and Ezra perches on the top turnbuckle as Alex attempts to shake out the cobwebs.

Vinegar: What’s Ezra doing? Now is the chance!

Covert Jay: His attention seems to have been diverted...

Alex finishes shaking the cobwebs and notices Ezra staring toward the ramp. He takes the opportunity to kick the ropes, crotching Ezra. He grabs his head again, turns and...

Vinegar: FLATLINE!!

He rolls Ezra over for the cover.

1..
2..
3..

Covert Jay: That’s all, ninjas!

Vinegar: Now that the match is over, we can see that Ezekiel Pax was the object of Ezra’s attention. He is making his way down toward the ring, his face covered in bandages and the Global Title slung over his shoulder.

Alex notices and immediately directs attention back toward Ezra, dragging him to his feet. He slowly grips him into a full nelson before lifting him into the air, letting go, and slamming him with one hand on his chest, driving him into the ground.

Vinegar: Stein just stared at Ezekiel the whole time.

Not getting any sort of reaction, Alex picks Ezra back up and into a vertical suplex. He holds him up as Ezra’s face begins to turn red. Suddenly, Alex turns his opponent in the air and drops into a Steiner Screwdriver. Again, Alex’s gaze doesn’t leave Ezekiel, who still stands at the base of the ramp. Stein rolls Ezra onto his stomach and locks in the Stein Clutch, staring at Ezekiel the whole time. He cinches it in deeper as Ezekiel just stares right back at him.

Vinegar: Alex is zoned in on Ezekiel. Almost asking him ‘Are you not entertained?’

Covert Jay: I saw that in a movie once.

Stein shoves Ezra’s head down to the mat and walks toward Ezekiel, stopping at the ropes. He extends his arms out, asking Ezekiel why he is here. Stein exits the ring and grabs his title. He swings it over his back and walks toward Ezekiel. The two men stare each other down as Stein fasts his title and adjusts it back into its position similar to a chest plate.

The footage ends and Zane still has his eyes locked on Ezra who has made his way up to a standing position in the corner.

“As I said, kid, it wasn't me. Sure, Alex used you to get Zeke's attention after the bell, but that begs the question...

What did your 'friend' and 'mentor' do to help you, let alone save you?

Nothing.

He didn't give a shit.

Like I said, your enemy has been standing next to you the whole time.

Sorry, Ezra.”

With that, Zane slams the microphone into Ezra's chest, pats him sympathetically on the shoulder, and exits the ring as his music plays.

[UGWC Staff]

Vinegar: If I have one thing to say about this match, it’s that Travis Pierce has engineered it perfectly. He’s played Rydell, and perhaps “Vain” so that they’d potentially destroy each other before either of them could get to him. As a result, we're going to move from one violence-filled slug-fest to another one.

Lieberjosch: While I’m loath to give that Icon of Inanity credit for anything, it’s hard to deny that Pierce has played Rydell and “The Vain One” perfectly. “Vain” wants Pierce so badly that he doesn’t even care that he’s been directed into this nothing fight that might do nothing more than lead to him being hurt. Pierce might have suckered “Vain” into ending his own career. It’s genius, as much as I hate to admit it!

Vinegar: I think that “end his career” might take it a bit too far.

Lieberjosch: I don’t! Rydell is desperate and for once, dangerous! Who knows what that idiotic lunatic might do!

Vinegar: He’s going to try and win.

Lieberjosch: By any means necessary!

Covert Jay: I didn’t know this was a Chaos match!

Lieberjosch: What? It’s not. The hell are you babbling about?

Covert Jay: You said “any means necessary.” Rydell can’t do that unless it’s a Chaos match.

Lieberjosch: Go back to sleep. You know what I mean!

Covert Jay: No I don’t! You’re speaking weirdish!

Lieberjosch: “Weirdish” isn’t even a word!

Covert Jay: Google Docs thinks it is!

Lieberjosch: What?

Covert Jay: Nevermind.

Vinegar: His point, Jay, is that Rydell is a position where he’d do anything he thinks he can get away with to win this. I’m not entirely sure that I agree with that. Rydell wants to win. Beating “Vain” would give Rydell serious bragging rights.

Lieberjosch: While beating him “Vain” a shorter path to Pierce.

Vinegar: In the short term that seems to be all he wants.

Lieberjosch: It’s weird to see him aiming so low.

Vinegar: This issue with Pierce has been building in “Vain” for a while and I get the impression that he doesn’t care what he has to do to get his hands on Pierce.

Lieberjosch: I get that, and while I’m always happy to see two people try to destroy each other, I’d be quite displeased if it happened to “The Vain One.” If it happens to Rydell, cool. No loss. Rydell ending the career of Alan Wallace would be a tragedy.

Vinegar: You’re all heart.

Lieberjosch: I know. I’m wonderful. It must be difficult to bask in my greatness.

Vinegar: Pregaming again, Hans?

Lieberjosch: I would never.

Vinegar: I’m inclined to disagree, but time will tell.

Lieberjosch: Slander.

Vinegar: You’ll get over it.

Covert Jay: INTRODUCTION TIME!!!

Lieberjosch: Chill, Jay. Curb your enthusiasm.

Covert Jay: LET’S GO TO MITCHELL!!

Lieberjosch: Good god...what did I do to deserve this?

Vinegar: You pregamed.

Lieberjosch: I hate you both right now.

Covert Jay: MITCHELL...RING…...NOW!!!

Lieberjosch: If he recited the “head” monologue from “So I Married An Axe Murderer,” I’m out of here.

Mitchell Dennis: Ladies and gentlemen this match is for ONE FALL and is the RETURN PAY PER VIEW MATCH for ALAN WALLACE!! Introducing first…



The lights go out, and stay out for a few seconds, before a lone spotlight begins to shine down upon the stage. As the music first starts out, fireworks go off around the area that the spotlight showcases. Up through the flooring of the stage rises 'Vain' Alan Wallace - a buxom blonde standing to his left, and a gorgeous brunette standing to his right. As the lift that they are being raised by comes to a stop, the two women drop to their knees and turn towards him, running their hands down his chest and abs, before giving each other a kiss. Vain tosses the hood of his robe back, revealing that beautiful money maker of his, and then throws his arms up in the air as he begins walking towards the ring, and his two harlots make their way backstage. Upon entering the ring, he spins around in a circle with his arms raised high, basking in the reaction of the people. He then prepares for the task in front of him, as his music begins to fade out.

Dennis: Standing in today at six feet, four inches tall and weighing in at two hundred and thirty pounds, he’s a former three-time UGWC World Champion, a five-time UGWC Cross-Hemisphere Champion, a six-time UGWC CoOperative Champion, the two-thousand and fourteen and two-thousand and fifteen “Blessed One Invitational Yahtzee Champion.”

Lieberjosch: Wallace is telling him to continue...

Vinegar: If he reads all of his monikers we’ll be here all night.

Dennis: He is the “Intellectual Adonis,” “The Weapon of Mass Seduction,” and “The Money Maker.” Hailing from Miami, Florida, he is “The Vain One” Alan WAAAAALLLLLAAAAACCCE!!!

Vinegar: Just in case anyone has forgotten a legendary champion. If he beats Rydell, what do you think his next step is?

Lieberjosch: I think Vain is always a legitimate threat to any champion on the roster. He could go after the winner of our “Title versus Title” Main Event and target the World Champion.

Covert Jay: Imagine what it would do if he beat either of them for the World Championship!!

Lieberjosch: Indeed, Jay. Lucy has been World Champion since May 8th at “Survival of the Fittest,” while Sebastian is at over five hundred days, leaving the previous record set by Le Bord Dieu in the dust. If Vain could come back and unseat either of them, he more than cements an already generational combined record of championships that sits at over fifteen hundred days!

Vinegar: It is impressive. I’d ask if that’s at all intimidating to Rydell, but we both know it’s not.

Lieberjosch: I rip on Rydell a lot, and I will again, but he’s been a cornerstone of this company since it was founded and his total combined championship reign isn’t anything to laugh at at seven hundred and twenty-nine days. He’s a legitimate threat to anyone he steps into the ring with. As he astutely pointed out, he’s slain a lot of his personal dragons this year. While I think it unlikely that he beats a motivated “Vain” Alan Wallace, he’s absolutely capable of it.

Covert Jay: I’m impressed, Doc. Normally you hate him.

Lieberjosch: I still do, but facts are facts.

Vinegar: Speaking of which, let’s go to Mitchell.

Dennis: And his opponent!

SAVE YOUR PITY FOR THE WEEEAAAAKKKKKK!!!!

The loud and thunderous start to "Extermination" by Upon A Burning Body blares over the PA. Lights flash and kick drums smash. Dave Rydell steps out onto the stage sporting his multicam pants, coyote Garmont boots, and a sleeveless black shirt. He stands on stage for a moment until the song picks up with the first verse. He saunters down the ramp, looking intently and intensely. He turns left to walk up the steps before making it onto the apron. he looks out into the crowd before wiping his feet off and climbing through the ropes into the ring. He heads to his corner, removing his shirt and tossing it to ringside. He takes a brief moment to stretch for a few seconds as he prepares for the opening bell.

Dennis: Hailing from Fredericksberg, Virginia. He stands at Five feet, ten inches in height and weighs in at two-hundred and eleven pounds. He is a SEVEN-TIME UGWC CROSS-HEMISPHERE CHAMPION. Ladies and gentlemen…. DAAAAAAVVVVVE RYYYYYYDELLLLLLLLLL!!!!

Vinegar: We know what this means to Rydell. He’s come so close to winning the World Championship so many times, only to come up short.

Lieberjosch: Yes, he’s felt that sting many times, and it’s led to many mocking him relentlessly for it. He took another step towards claiming the World Championship this year by winning the annual “Battleground” event. If he beats Alan Wallace tonight that’s a major win in the win column for him, and another dragon slain. You have to bet there isn’t much he won’t do to win.

Vinegar: He has to be careful to not let his ambition and possibly his temper get the better of him as it has before.

Lieberjosch: Excellent point, Nick.

Covert Jay: The man can throw down when it’s necessary.

Lieberjosch: And it’s gone...

Covert Jay: What?

Lieberjosch: Your moment of being useful on commentary.

Vinegar: Alice Nasmith is our referee tonight.

Lieberjosch: There’s the bell!

Covert Jay: YOIKS AND AWAY!!

Lieberjosch: Seriously?

Vinegar: Vain and Rydell advance on each other and immediately lock up, pushing back and forth for control.

Lieberjosch: Let’s see if Vain’s time away is going to be an issue.

Covert Jay: Ninja!!

Lieberjosch: It was an arm drag, Jay. Settle down.

Vinegar: It caught Wallace off guard.

Lieberjosch: That never would’ve happened before.

Vinegar: It’s been three years, and Rydell is no slouch.

Lieberjosch: Most of the roster are slouches compared to “Vain,” even WITH him having been away for so long.

Vinegar: Rydell isn’t one of them.

Lieberjosch: It’s early yet. That remains to be seen.

Vinegar: Early point to Rydell, who now has wrist control.

Covert Jay: I’ve had a lot of fun with wrist control.

Lieberjosch: Not THAT kind, you simpleton.

Vinegar: Rydell pushes down on “Vain” and forces him down stomach-first onto the mat, then switches to a seated side headlock.

Covert Jay: Are those noogies?

Lieberjosch: No you eejit. He’s grinding his knuckles into Vain’s forehead.

Covert Jay: That’s not nice! That’s his money maker!

Lieberjosch: He did warn Wallace that he’d mess his face up.

Vinegar: That’s exactly what he’s trying to do. I didn’t think he’d go there this soon.

Lieberjosch: This is personal for him and he;s making sure that Vain knows it.

Vinegar: It’s given him control.

Covert Jay: He’s wrenching Vain up by his hair!

Lieberjosch: Nasmith just warned him against it, but he doesn’t seem to care.

Vinegar: This is psychology. He’s trying to establish that Vain is in over his head.

Lieberjosch: If he doesn’t stop using Vain’s hair in the next five seconds to prove his point, he’ll be disqualified.

Covert Jay: He just gave Nasmith the finger!

Vinegar: DDT!

Lieberjosch: You have to appreciate his tactic here, but how long is it before constantly attacking Vain’s face to prove his point comes back on him?

Vinegar: That depends on Vain.

Lieberjosch: Entirely.

Covert Jay: Quick cover!

Lieberjosch: With his forearm across Vain’s face!

Vinegar: Kick out!

Covert Jay: He was never going to win that fast!

Lieberjosch: Winning with that pin wasn’t his point. Further humiliating Vain and possibly adding to the damage to his face is. It’s strategy.

Vinegar: He pulls Vain up by his hair again and whips him into the corner, following him in with a nasty looking clothesline that catches Vain square across the face.

Lieberjosch: He definitely aimed high there. I don’t know if Wallace has a gear that he hasn’t hit yet, or if his time away has dulled his edge just enough to be a fatal flaw, but if Rydell keeps this up, he could find out disastrously if Vain has that second gear.

Vinegar: Vain stumbles from the corner with his hand to his nose and glares up at Rydell.

Covert Jay: Superkick!

Lieberjosch: Again, catching Wallace flush in the face.

Vinegar: He drops into another cover, once again with his forearm across Vain’s face!

Lieberjosch: This time he made sure to drag his elbow across Wallace’s forehead.

Covert Jay: Vain kicks out at one again!

Vinegar: Rydell pulls Vain up and punches him in the stomach before flattening him with another huge DDT!

Covert Jay: He didn’t try to pin him!

Lieberjosch: Quite the contrary he’s dragged Vain over to the ropes.

Covert Jay: Ouch!!

Lieberjosch: Quite. We haven’t seen this side of Rydell in a while.

Vinegar: Rydell grabs Vain by his hair and drags him back and forth across the middle rope by his face!

Lieberjosch: That’s tempting fate…and it might cause a riot! Just listen to the angered cries of the Vainiacs!

Covert Jay: Did you just make that up?

Lieberjosch: I don’t believe so, but if I did it further shows how brilliant I am.

Vinegar: Take a breath, Hans.

Covert Jay: Rydell’s hung Vain up neck first across the top rope!

Lieberjosch: He’s really focusing on Vain’s face and neck.

Covert Jay: Celeste isn’t going to like this.

Lieberjosch: No, but she might be angrier at Wallace for this.

Vinegar: Rydell’s up on the top rope.

Covert Jay: What the hell’s he planning? Is he gonna go Ninja bird?

Lieberjosch: You’re not funny.

Vinegar: Rydell leaps!

Lieberjosch: That looked absolutely devastating!

Covert Jay: No gain for Vain!

Lieberjosch: That was a lame rhyme.

Vinegar: Rydell connects with an impactful dropkick from the turnbuckle that catches Vain square in the head and sends him corkscrewing backward into the ring as Rydell lands on the apron! Rydell leaps up and watches with a smile as Vain rolls back and forth covering his face. He grabs the top rope and leans backward.

Covert Jay: Vain might be done!

Lieberjosch: I doubt that. This is just an extremely painful way to shake the rust off.

Vinegar: Vain gets to his hands and knees, then staggers to his feet with his hands over his face. He turns toward Rydell and drops his hands.

Covert Jay: Rydell leaps!

Lieberjosch: Vaub doesn’t see him!

Vinegar: Springboard After Shock! He caught Vain right in the face!

Lieberjosch: That’s the Money Maker! Move thief!!

Vinegar: Vain lands with a loud thud and Rydell immediately leaps into the pin attempt!

Covert Jay: There’s Nasmith!

Lieberjosch: ONE!




Vinegar: TWO!!






Covert Jay: Vain kicks out!

Lieberjosch: And grabbed the bottom rope! The ring generalship!!

Vinegar: Rydell complains to Nasmith that it was a three, but she insists that he both kicked out and grabbed the bottom rope at two. He shakes his head in disgust but pulls Vain up.

Covert Jay: He’s firmly in control right n...

Lieberjosch: You were saying?

Vinegar: Vain surprises Rydell with a hand-and-a-half overhead release suplex, which sends Rydell crashing to the mat.

Lieberjosch: It looked like he may have landed on his head, although it’s hard to tell if it’s that or that he was just completely caught off guard.

Vinegar: Irrespective of what’s happened, Vain has his first actual opening of the match.

Covert Jay: At least he's not bleeding.

Lieberjosch: I doubt that matters to him at the moment as Rydell is repeatedly targeting his money maker.

Vinegar: You think Vain isn't aware that being repeatedly struck in the face won't make him bleed?

Lieberjosch: I'm certain that he's aware of that, but I also know that he's not going to let that cloud his judgment. Seeing his own blood might.

Vinegar: He's seen his own blood before.

Lieberjosch: Yes, but seeing it now, in a match where bleeding isn't supposed to be a part of it, will convince Vain of what I suspect that he's already considering… that Rydell is trying to permanently damage his face.

Covert Jay: NO! Anything but his money maker!

Lieberjosch: Settle down, Jay.

Covert Jay: No! What Rydell is doing is simple maliciousness, and I won't stand for it!!

Vinegar: Settle down, Jay.

Lieberjosch: Thank you, Nicholas.

Vinegar: Speaking of "maliciousness," Vain is returning the favor with a barrage of mounted elbow strikes to Rydell's forehead. Nasmith warns him to back off, bit he glares at her and keeps up his attack.

Lieberjosch: She's doing the five count!

Covert Jay: She's at four!

Vinegar: Vain leaps up and holds his hand up in her face!

Vain: I have FIVE SECONDS!!

Vinegar: He turns back to Rydell right as he stands up and drives his foot into Rydell's face! Rydell crumples to the mat, and Vain grabs him by the arms and pulls him up into a vicious mat stomp!

Covert Jay: Did you see how his face compressed under Vain's foot?

Vinegar: I did and I wouldn't be shocked if he's seeing stars right now.

Lieberjosch: He'd be lucky if that didn't fracture his orbital bone!

Covet Jay: He's not done!

Vinegar: Jesus! Vain pulls him into another set of vicious stomps! It's amazing that Rydell is still conscious!

Lieberjosch: After those he might be lucky to be breathing!

Vinegar: Vain finally releases Rydell, who's motionless on the mat. Alice Nasmith runs to check on him and leans over!

Covert Jay: Shit!

Lieberjosch: Well...that just made this a lot more interesting!

Vinegar: Right as Alice Nasmith bent over to look at Rydell, he somehow sprang up and caught her with "The Virus of Life"! It must've been pure reflex!

Covert Jay: Poor Alice!

Lieberjosch: Now it becomes a free-for-all...

Vinegar: Rydell kips up from the “Virus of Life” and looks down, realizing what he’s done.

Covert Jay: He doesn’t seem upset by it.

Lieberjosch: Why should he be? The way the early part of this match has gone, as much as I hate to admit it, it gives him an advantage.

Covert Jay: That “Curtain Call” says otherwise!

Vinegar: Rydell took his eyes off of Vain for just a second and it was enough! He pulls Rydell up and whips him across the ring, turning his back toward the turnbuckle!

Covert Jay: Snake Eyes!!

Lieberjosch: Rydell slams face-first into the top of the turnbuckle and staggers back clutching at his face.

Vinegar: Kick to the stomach from Vain.

Covert Jay: He’s gonna…he’s gonna…

Lieberjosch: Good God, Jay. Either spit it out or shut up!

Vinegar: Vain puts Rydell’s head between his legs and hoists him up for a piledriver…

Covert Jay: That’s incredible!

Lieberjosch: It’s just incredible how easily you fall into gimmick infringement.

Vinegar: Whatever you call it, that leaping tombstone just planted Rydell squarely on the top of his head. He pulls Rydells up and immediately plants him with a DDT. He yanks Rydell back up and slams him down with a snap suplex, rolls through it, and pulls Rydell up, adjusting his hands and tossing Rydell overhead with an overhead release suplex.

Covert Jay: That was a painful-looking landing.

Lieberjosch: When does being dropped onto one’s head ever look good?

Vinegar: Rydell very wisely rolls from the ring with Vain in hot pursuit. He charges at Rydell.

Lieberjosch: That may’ve been an error.

Vinegar: Rydell catches Vain by surprise and grabs him, pulling him stomach-first into the announcer's table. He grabs Vain by the hair and whips him at the Thai announcer's table.

Covert Jay: Don’t you spend a lot of your vacations there, Hans?

Lieberjosch: That was Hanson. You’re clearly confused.

Vinegar: Vain bounces off of the table but is stopped by Rydell, who grabs his head and bounces his face off of the table multiple times. Vain gets an elbow shot in, but Rydell shrugs it off and bounces Vain’s face off of the table again.

Lieberjosch: We know Vain prizes his appearance, and why shouldn’t he, but Rydell seems to have a really deep personal vendetta against his opponent’s looks. I would think that given Vain’s illustrious track record here Rydell would consider him more of the serious threat that he is, and less of the pretty face that he’s focusing on maiming.

Vinegar: For whatever reason he’s chosen that face as his personal punching bag. Speaking of which…

Covert Jay: MOVE MOTHERFLUFFERS!!

Lieberjosch: “Motherfluffers?” You’ve been watching too many dog videos on YouTube.

Vinegar: Rydell pulls Vain up and drops him face-first into the Thai announcer's table, then crawls up behind him and pulls him up into a reverse headlock.

Covert Jay: DDT onto the table!

Vinegar: Rydell drives the point of his elbow into Vain’s throat, then chases one of the announcers from the table and grabs his chair, folding it. He walks over and brings it down across Vain’s chest.

Covert Jay: It’s a good thing for him that the Ref is out, or he’d be DQed.

Lieberjosch: How observant, Jay.

Covert Jay: Thanks!

Lieberjosch: For fucks sake...

Vinegar: Rydell drills Vain with the chair again, and a third time!

Covert Jay: Vain is gasping for air!

Vinegar: Rydell runs to the ring and leaps up onto the apron, then scales the ropes to the turnbuckle!

Lieberjosch: He’s really willing to risk everything to win this match! If he was like this more often, people would stop laughing at him.

Vinegar: Rydell somehow maneuvers the steel chair behind him and leaps from the turnbuckle!

Covert Jay: Air-Dell!!

Lieberjosch: That’s not even remotely funny.

Vinegar: Rydell Bomb! Rydell crashes into Vain, sending them both through and obliterating the table! He rolls off and shoves the chair away, clutching at his back.

Lieberjosch: Vain isn’t moving, but has Rydell hurt himself too much to capitalize?

Vinegar: There’s no Referee to make the ten count, so both men have as much time as they might need to recover. The first one up here definitely gains the advantage!

Covert Jay: Rydell appears to be stirring, but “The Vain God” hasn’t moved!

Lieberjosch: He may be playing opossum.

Covert Jay: He shouldn’t do that. Wild animals are dangerous and to be taken seriously!

Lieberjosch: Thank you, Mister “Public Service Announcement.”

Covert Jay: Don’t mention it!

Lieberjosch: I didn’t want to...

Vinegar: Rydell rolls to the barrier and uses it to push himself up, then looks down at the motionless body of Vain and smiles. He pulls Vain back up and runs back to the ring, bouncing him face-first off of the post before he rolls “Mr. Ego” back into the ring.

Lieberjosch: I’m amazed by how basically lopsided this has been so far.

Covert Jay: Yeah, Chad might not like this too much.

Lieberjosch: What?

Covert Jay: What?

Vinegar: Jay, are you having another one of your dissociative fugue moments?

Covert Jay: My discombobulated food moments? That doesn’t make sense, Nick.

Vinegar: That answers that question.

Lieberjosch: Indeed.

Vinegar: Vain stops rolling in the middle of the ring and comes to rest face up. Rydell leaps up onto the apron and grabs the top rope.

Covert Jay: Is he going for another springboard “After Shock?”

Lieberjosch: We don’t know, Jay. He hasn’t done what he’s going to do yet.

Vinegar: Vain is still down and hasn’t moved.

Covert Jay: Rydell leaps!

Lieberjosch: He’s going for “Tip of the Spear!”

Covert Jay: Holy crap!

Vinegar: What a counter by Vain!

Lieberjosch: I told you he was playing opossum!

Vinegar: Vain just kipped up and spiked Rydell’s head into the mat, using his own move against him!

Lieberjosch: It seems that Rydell has felt the Tip of the Spear this time!

Vinegar: Vain looks over at Alice Nasmith, who appears to be stirring. He turns back to Rydell and pulls him up by his chin as Nasmith uses the turnbuckle to pull herself up.

Lieberjosch: Except that she’s still so dazed that she’s facing away from them.

Covert Jay: Yowie wowie!

Lieberjosch: Again with the gimmick infringement!

Vinegar: Vain reared back and kicked Rydell between the legs like he was trying to kick a game-winning seventy-yard field goal!

Lieberjosch: That comparison isn’t far off.

Vinegar: Rydell goes to crumple to the mat, but Vain holds him up by his chin. He says something to him, presumably mocking, then grabs him by the arm and begins to swing wildly with him!

Covert Jay: Holy crap I’m getting dizzy!

Lieberjosch: “Getting?”

Vinegar: Vain releases Rydell!

Lieberjosch: Right into Nasmith! Brilliant!

Covert Jay: Damn it! Poor Alice!

Vinegar: That was blatant and intentional!

Lieberjosch: You don’t know that! He was spinning in circles, there’s no way he knew where she was!

Vinegar: Give me a break, Hans! We all know that Vain always knows where he is in the ring, even when spinning in circles!

Lieberjosch: If it was intentional, it was utterly brilliant!

Vinegar: We’re back to having no referee, and Rydell is down after having his manhood kicked into the fifteenth row!

Lieberjosch: Both of his heads hurt now.

Vinegar: Har har.

Lieberjosch: I thought it was funny.

Vinegar: Rydell stumbles backward after colliding with Alice, right into a backbreaker from Vain, who pulls him back up and into a vicious-looking swinging neckbreaker. Knowing that Nasmith is still down, Vain slides out of the ring and retrieves the chair Rydell was using on him. He slides back in and waits for Rydell to stand back up.

Covert Jay: Did he just yell “Come on” at Rydell?

Lieberjosch: It sounded like it.

Vinegar: Rydell pulls himself to his feet and stumbles toward Vain.

Lieberjosch: Goddamn!

Vinegar: That was one hell of a chair shot, and it sends Rydell back to the mat in a heap. He wraps Rydell’s arm into the chair.

Covert Jay: He’s going to break it!

Lieberjosch: If he cripples it, Rydell can’t use “The Virus of Life” again. In reality, it makes all of his put-away moves nearly impossible for him to do.

Vinegar: It’s a good point. Rydell needs two working arms to execute most of his big moves. Losing one neutralizes all of his finishers.

Lieberjosch: Vain leaps!

Vinegar: Stomp onto the chair, directly onto Rydell’s shoulder!

Covert Jay: Did you hear that crunch?

Vinegar: Vain might’ve injured him! Rydell is yelling in agony, but Vain yanks his arm into the chair again and leaps up!

Covert Jay: My god!

Lieberjosch: There’s that “second gear” I was talking about. Rydell introduced the chair, and now he’s paying for it.

Vinegar: Vain leaps up and comes down on the chair a third time, crushing Rydell’s arm in it!

Covert Jay: He could have a torn shoulder!

Lieberjosch: Vain’s showing everyone why they should respect him. Rydell put up one hell of a fight, but I think Vain has had about enough.

Vinegar: Vain yanks the chair away and throws it to the mat, then pulls Rydell up by the bad arm and drops him with a shoulder breaker over his shoulder. Rydell stays on his feet but is clearly in agony. Vain raises the chair overhead!

Lieberjosch: If he lands this, Rydell is done!

Vinegar: Vain smiles like he’s about to commit a murder.

Covert Jay: Nasmith yanks the chair from his hands!

Lieberjosch: Where the hell did she come from??

Vinegar: Vain wheels around, irate at Nasmith for taking the chair away. He backs her into the corner, furiously hollering at her.

Covert Jay: Rydell’s arm is limp at his side!

Lieberjosch: Oh come on! Low blow by Rydell! What a coward!

Vinegar: Turnabout is fair play, Hans.

Lieberjosch: Turnabout is cheating because he knows he can’t win.

Vinegar: It’s not over yet. Rydell throws Vain back toward the middle of the ring, then charges cross it and bounces off of the ropes, dead arm dangling.

Lieberjosch: I respect the amount of fight he’s showing.

Vinegar: Tip of the Spear!!

Covert Jay: He doesn’t need two arms for that!!

Vinegar: He drops on top of Vain and hooks a leg with his good arm. Nasmith struggles over and drops for the count!

Covert Jay: ONE!





Vinegar: TWO!!


Lieberjosch: THR...!! NO!! VAIN KICKS OUT!!

Vinegar: Rydell slams his good hand off of the mat, clearly frustrated. He bends over and pulls Vain up with that good hand.

Covert Jay: Reversal by Vain!

Lieberjosch: Cherry Popper!

Covert Jay: He dropped Rydell right onto his face!

Vinegar: He rolls Rydell over and goes for the pin!

Covert Jay: Here’s the count!

Lieberjosch: ONE!



Covert Jay: TWO!!


Vinegar: THR…RYDELL KICKS OUT! This time it’s Vain who’s furious. He insists that it was a three count, but Alice Nasmith tells him that it was only a two. Vain turns back to Rydell!

Covert Jay: VIRUS OF LIFE WITH HIS OTHER ARM!

Lieberjosch: He’s more versatile than I thought.

Vinegar: But has he had too much taken out of him? Both men are down now.

Lieberjosch: Come on, Vain!

Covert Jay: This is anyone’s match!

Lieberjosch: Thank you for that delightful cliche.

Vinegar: Rydell moves first and is literally pulling himself over to Vain.

Covert Jay: He draped his arm across! What a show of guts!

Lieberjosch: Nasmith is there!

Covert Jay: ONE!

Vinegar: TWO!!


Liebejosch: THR..NO!! Vain grabs the bottom rope and Nasmith breaks the count! He’s such a brilliant ring general!

Covert Jay: Jesus, get a room already.

Vinegar: Rydell collapses back to the mat as Vain slowly pulls himself to his feet. Rydell pulls himself up and takes a wild swing with his one good arm, only for Vain to kick him in his bad shoulder, which sends Rydell back to the man on one knee, yelling in pain.

Lieberjosch: Vain’s smart to keep targeting it.

Vinegar: I don’t disagree, but my god Rydell has put up one hell of a fight.

Lieberjosch: He’s not done yet, although he is at a severe disadvantage.

Covert Jay: Rydell is trying to push himself up, but his arm momentarily gives out!

Lieberjosch: Idiot! Choose the correct arm!

Vinegar: Famousser from Vain! He drives Rydell’s face back into the mat with a loud “thud.” He pulls Rydell up and underhooks his arms!

Covert Jay: This is just overkill!

Lieberjosch: This is how you put away a tenacious opponent.

Vinegar: A second “Cherry Popper!”

Covert Jay: He pulls Rydell up AGAIN!!

Liberjosch: Curtain Call! Rydell flops over onto his back!

Vinegar: Vain collapses on top for the cover!!

Liberjosch: ONE!


Covert Jay: TWO!!


Vinegar: THREE!!

Lieberjosch: Vain wins his return match! I knew it would happen!

Vinegar: It turned into a hellacious and vicious brawl between them, but Vain manages to hold Rydell off for the big return victory!

Lieberjosch: Rydell hung with “Mr. Personality” for a long longer than I’d have ever given him credit for.

Dennis: Ladies and gentlemen, your winner via PINFALL at eighteen forty-seven, “The Vain One” ALLLLAAAAANNNNN WAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLAAAAAAAACE!!!

Vinegar: Rydell deserves all of the credit in the world for that performance, and almost took the victory on multiple occasions, but Vain through a combination of brains and sheer viciousness manages to win. It has to be heartbreaking for Rydell, but he showed everyone how far he’s come and how dangerous he is!

Lieberjosch: No argument here, Nicholas. Rydell may have Rydelled, but goddamnit did he look like a killer tonight. Our champions had better watch out, especially our next World Champion, because this is a different Dave Rydell than we’ve seen before.

Vinegar: I absolutely agree!

Covert Jay: Me three!

Vinegar: The Highwire Act is next, once our medical team checks on both Rydell and Wallace.

Covert Jay: It’s going to get you high!

Lieberjosch: I hate you.

[UGWC Staff]

Vinegar: We continue here at the Stamford Bridge, with the Highwire Match for the Cooperative Championship!

Mitchell Dennis: The following match is the Highwire Match for the Cooperative Championship! Introducing first, the challengers, Montague Cervantes, Jaclyn Pierrot, TRAGEDIA DEL’ARTE!!!!!

Vinegar: This is a return match from two weeks ago, and I’ve been very much looking forward to seeing these two teams go at it again.

The houselights cut out, a single Raven cries out soon joined by another, then another until the cries of an entire unkindness fill the house sound system, soon broken by "Hell Broke Luce" by Tom Waits cutting through, the house lights coming up to a dull blue as a single white strobe light pulses in time to the song's percussion. Standing in the middle of that pulsing light, back to the ring, stands Matthew Knox adorned in his ring gear and a sleeveless hoodie. Arms outstretched like a bird in flight he pivots on a heel and begins making his way to the ring, sliding under the bottom rope and picking a corner to charge and leap upon to scream the audience into a frenzy. He takes a lap around the ring, before kneeling in a corner and patiently waiting for the ring bell to sound.

Vinegar: Both of the Suplex Cops have been having successful years here in UGWC, and don’t forget that Knox is the Keeper of the Survival Key!

The lights suddenly drop, and in the silence, Ghost's "Hunter's Moon" to play with its haunting melody.

The music builds and lights flash, leading up to the chorus, signaling an arrival.

Though my memories have faded
They come back to haunt me once again
And though my mind is somewhat jaded now
It's time for me to strike again tonight
It's a hunter's moon

'The Bogeyman' JC steps out onto the stage, staring out at the audience and wearing a Michael Myers mask over his had, having embraced his new ghoulish persona. He watches the crowd react to him and then begins walking steadily to the ring. He enters the ring and climbs up to the middle rope, before ripping the mask off of his head and staring out at the audience. He then returns to the ring and prepares for his match.

Covert Jay: So what happens if somebody from each team pulls down a title?

Lieberjosch: Yeah, like that could happen.

Mitchell Dennis: And their opponents, they are the reigning AND defending Cooperative Champions, JC, Matt Knox, THE SUPLEX COPS!!!!

Vinegar: Match underway, Cervantes brawling with Knox as Pierrot battles the Bogeyman.

Lieberjosch: JC whips Ragdoll off the ropes, but Ragdoll comes back with a headscissor takedown, and JC rolls out of the ring.

Covert Jay: JC tries to get back up at ringside, but Ragdoll ninjas over the ropes and crashes into him with a cross body tackle.

Vinegar: Knox whips Cervantes off the ropes, but Cervantes ducks under a clothesline on the return, ascending the ropes for Lament for a Toy Factory!

Lieberjosch: Sidestepped by Knox, he sends Cervantes towards the corner and gives chase, but Cervantes dips out and back in for the Carousel Kick!

Covert Jay: On the outside, JC drives Ragdoll back first into the barricade.

Vinegar: Cervantes goes back to the corner and climbs the turnbuckle, then begins slowly climbing hand over hand out to the titles.

Covert Jay: JC rolls into the ring, and he springboards off the ropes and connects with a modified Dance Macabre!

Vinegar: A springboard shoulder tackle knocks the hanging Cervantes off the highwire, and both men came awkwardly crashing down to the mat!

Lieberjosch: Knox rolls out of the ring, then reaches out and drags Cervantes out by his leg. Knox whips Cervantes into the steel steps, then starts stomping him down.

Vinegar: JC gets back to his feet, and he climbs a turnbuckle and starts climbing out to the titles.

Covert Jay: Ragdoll back in the ring, is in pursuit, and starts climbing out right behind JC.

Vinegar: Pierrot kicks at JC, and JC uses his hands to reverse her position and face the other way.

Lieberjosch: JC tries to fend Ragdoll off, but Ragdoll reaches up with her legs and wraps them into a headscissor hold around JC’s neck, but JC lets go off the highwire and grabs Ragdoll as he falls, pulling her into a powerbomb!

Vinegar: A brutal powerbomb from JC to Pierrot, ripping her right off that highwire!

Lieberjosch: Ragdoll rolls out of the ring as JC is slowly getting up, and Knox comes in and helps him up. He checks that his partner is ok, but Cervantes slides into the ring with a long pole, and charges at Knox and JC, knocking them both down!

Cj Cervantes goes to the corner and climbs up the turnbuckle, then climbs on top of the high wire, using the pole to balance himself.

Vinegar: Cervantes is using that pole to traverse the wire like a tightrope walker!

Covert Jay: He is like ninja!

Vinegar: JC gets back up and goes to the corner, then starts shaking the wire, as Knox goes to the opposite corner. JC continues to shake the wire, and Cervantes tries to balance himself, but he loses his balance and drops the pole, but manages to grab the wire and hold on.

Lieberjosch: JC has the pole, and he uses it to smack Cervantes as he hangs!

Vinegar: JC goes to hit Cervantes again, but he swings his legs up and wraps them around the wire, pulling himself out of the Bogeyman’s reach.

Lieberjosch: Knox has climbed up on the wire himself, and JC throws the pole to him.

Vinegar: Knox uses the pole to maintain balance as he walks the wire himself.

Covert Jay: Not quite as majestic as the Showman, but gets the job done.

Lieberjosch: JC starts to head to the turnbuckle nearest Cervantes, but Ragdoll intercepts him and connects with Murder She Wrote!

Vinegar: JC rolls out of the ring, and Pierrot rolls out herself and goes under the ring.

Lieberjosch: Knox is nearing the titles as Cervantes hangs opposite him, trying to climb hand over hand to beat Knox to the titles, but Knox is moving much quicker.

Covert Jay: Ragdoll comes back into the ring, and she has a paintball gun!

Vinegar: Pierrot has a paintball gun! What does she expect to do with that?

Lieberjosch: Knox is about to reach the titles, but Ragdoll is lining up her shot!

Covert Jay: BIG BOOT OF DEATH!!!

Vinegar: JC connects on Pierrot just as she is firing, and she fires wildly!

Covert Jay: She hit them both!

Vinegar: Knox had his hand on the titles, he pulls them loose as Cervantes falling shakes the ropes and causes him to fall as well!

Covert Jay: The titles fell!

Lieberjosch: Who has them!

DING DING!!!!

Vinegar: Who won the match?

Lieberjosch: Sam Green is in the ring, I think Cervantes and Knox both are holding one of the title belts!

Vinegar: And Sam Green is holding an arm from each of them!

Lieberjosch: You’ve got to be kidding me!

Mitchell Dennis: Here are your winners…um…the referee’s decision is that the winners of this match are…MATT KNOX AND MONTAGUE CERVANTES!!!!

Covert Jay: Called it.

Lieberjosch: I hate you.

Vinegar: All four participants are confused, and this is going to have to be sorted out!

Covert Jay: That’s going to have to wait for later, as we still have lots more in-ring action on the way!

[UGWC Staff]

Mitchell Dennis: The following contest is scheduled for one fall!

Crowd: ONE FALL!

Mitchell: And it is a #1 Contender’s match for the UGWC World Heavyweight Championship!!!

“You Know My Name” by Chris Cornell blares over the PA system as Travis Pierce makes his way onto the stage. Playing to the crowd, he makes his way down the ramp and into the ring, awaiting his opponent, Larry Tact.

Mitchell: Introducing first, he is the Icon of Entertainment, Traaavvviiiissss Pppiiiiiieeeeeerrrrrrccccceeeeee!!!!

Vinegar: Travis Pierce, a former World Champion in his own right, won a fatal fourway match to get the chance to face Larry, for this opportunity at the World Championship!

“In the Face of Evil” by Magic Sword over the arena speakers as the lights cut out. Red and white lights scan the crowd before all the lights cut out. A single crimson spotlight shines down on Larry Tact at the top of the entrance stage. He opens his arms and puffs out his chest, soaking in the crowd’s reaction before bellowing and making his way down the ramp, the spotlight following him. As he walks, Larry critiques some fans at ringside with petty insults before arriving to the ring. He pulls himself up using the ropes and walks slowly along the apron before wiping his boots and entering the ring as the house light come back on. He stretches using the ropes, smoothes back his hair and bounces from side-to-side, zeroed in on the battle ahead.

Mitchell: And his opponent, he is the winner of the 2023 UGWC WrestleStock Tournament, the Tactilizing One… LLllarrrryyyyyyyy Ttttaaaaaaaacccccttttttt!!!!!!!

Leiberjosch: Larry Tact, the winner of the WrestleStock open, has had so long to think about this match. Earning his place here by winning the tournament!

DING DING DING

Vinegar: Both men lock up and we are underway!

Covert Jay: Larry and Travis are displaying some excellent technical skill here. Travis with an arm drag.

Leiberjosch: Larry following up with one of his own. Right into an arm bar.

Vinegar: But Travis kips out of it and rolls Larry into an arm bar of his own!

Covert Jay: And now Larry kips out! The two lock back up and Larry gets Travis in a headlock.

Leiberjosch: Travis slips behind and gets a reverse waist lock.

Vinegar: Larry reverses that into one of his own!

Covert Jay: Travis reaching and hits a snapmare, into a reverse chin lock.

Leiberjosch: Larry fighting out of it and hangs onto Travis’ arm, going between his legs and picking him up for an inverted slam!

Vinegar: Looks like Travis got the worst of that exchange, but he is right back up!

Covert Jay: The two lock up once more. Travis doesn’t waste time as he knees Larry in the gut. He whips him off the ropes. As Larry rebounds, Travis bends and hits a back body drop!

Leiberjosch: Travis turns and Larry is right back up again! Charging!

Vinegar: Missed clothesline from Tact. Travis hits the ropes and comes back for a flying knee but Larry dodges it. Travis pumps the brakes and gets a foot down in time to stop himself.

Covert Jay: Travis turns around right into a shoulder tackle from Larry, that sends Travis right through the ropes! Travis hangs on though, staying up on the apron.

Leiberjosch: Larry noticed and goes to slam him off but Travis pulls the top rope down, and Larry spills right over and to the ground.

Vinegar: Travis, looking down at Larry, waits for him to get up. He takes a few steps away and runs, leaping, taking down the WrestleStock Tournament winner with a forearm smash! Both men crash to the ground!

Covert Jay: Travis is getting up, using the help of the announce table. The count from the referee has already begun and they are at 3.



4…



5…



Leiberjosch: Travis pulling Larry up, he slams Larry’s head off the announce table! And again! And again!!



6…



7…



Vinegar: Travis whips Larry into the barricade nearby before rushing back into the ring, then rolling back out, breaking the count.



1…



2…



Covert Jay: Travis finds Larry, kneeling on the outside and grabs him by the head. He slams Tact’s head off the top of the barricade wall. Larry staggers back! Travis charges at him but Larry drops and Travis jumps, shoulder first into the ring post!



3…



4…



5…



6…



Leiberjosch: Travis is holding his head and laying on the ground, and Larry is up, heading back towards the ring. Larry rolls in at the count of 8, and Travis barely makes it in right after 9.

Vinegar: Both men are taking a minute in the ring before going back at it. Might not be a wise move, but this is for a shot at the big one!

Covert Jay: As Travis makes his way to his feet, Larry is right behind him. He locks him up and nails a German Suplex!! Larry rolls over, keeping his hands clasped, and hits another, and one more for good measure.

Leiberjosch: A hat trick!!!!

Vinegar: Larry grabs Travis and drags him to the middle of the ring for the cover.



1!!!



2!!!



Kickout!



Covert Jay: Travis kicks out at 2 and Larry goes back to work, clubbing at the head of his opponent, but Travis starts blocking!

Leiberjosch: He rolls Larry over and starts delivering his own shots to the head. One after the other. These two aren’t wrestling anymore. They are brawling because they both want a shot at the big one!

Vinegar: Travis grabs Larry from the mat and sends him across the ring. He charges and goes to meet him with a body splash but Larry gets the boot up! Travis staggers back towards the middle.

Covert Jay: Travis, wiping to see if there is blood on his mouth, he turns back to Larry and Larry, is seemingly ready to go.

Leiberjosch: They both briskly make it to the middle and start trading shots! Lefts and rights! Punching the hell out of each other!!! Travis hits a good right hand that sends Larry staggering!

Vinegar: He grabs Larry from behind and hits him with The Breakdown!!! Travis drops down and hooks the leg!



1!!!



2!!!



Th-kick out!!!!



Covert Jay: Travis wasting no time, has Larry back up! He sets him up for a powerbomb but Larry floats over Travis’ head and behind him. Reverse Neckbreaker!

Leiberjosch: He pulls Travis back up and sends him off the ropes. Travis comes back, right into a powerslam in the middle of the ring. Larry doesn’t go for the cover though, not yet. Very curious.

Vinegar: He pulls Travis back up and lifts him for a gutwrench suplex but Travis, somehow, is able to get out of it, and falls to the mat.

Covert Jay: Larry, surprised, sees Travis laying there and gets behind him. He mounts his back and locks in Larry’s Throne!!!!!!!

Leiberjosch: Travis is in big trouble! He is screaming out in pain and Larry pulls back on the hold! Putting all that pressure on Travis’ back!

Vinegar: Larry, not realizing the positioning, Travis flails his feet and gets one on the bottom rope behind him! Hazel forces the hold to be broken!!! What a lucky a moment for Travis Pierce!

Covert Jay: Any longer in that hold and that would’ve been it for the Icon.

Leiberjosch: Larry looks back and sees the ropes, and now looks a bit frustrated. He grabs Travis, who’s holding his lower back, and pulls him up for the Tactilizer but Travis, once again, falls away from the move.

Vinegar: Larry, unclear of what to make of it, turns right around to see Travis and gets speared down almost instantly! Travis and Larry are both in so much pain from that.

Covert Jay: After a few moments, Larry pulls himself up, as does Travis, who uses the ropes. Larry uses his momentum to grab Travis from behind and lifts him for the Tactilizer once more! He’s getting ready to spin him but Travis kicks a leg out and floats behind Larry!

Leiberjosch: Larry spins and Travis picks him up, right into Signing Off!!! Travis drops into the cover!



1!!!



2!!!



THRE-KICKOUT!!!!!!!!!!



Vinegar: HOLY HELL LARRY TACT KICKED OUT!!!!!!!! UNBELIEVABLE!!!!!!

Covert Jay: Travis cannot believe it as he stares down at Larry Tact who just kicked out of his signature move.

Leiberjosch: Travis is moving. Where is he going?!

Vinegar: He’s going up! Travis is climbing to the top rope!!! Could it be?!?!

Covert Jay: Travis steadies himself on top. Larry is right there. Do it! Jump Travis!!!

Leiberjosch: Travis leaps for The Piercing Blow but Larry rolls out of the way! Travis noticed this in mid air and somersaults through in the middle of the ring! UNREAL!!!!!!!!!!!!

Vinegar: Larry looks shocked, and quite frankly, we all are. That was incredible!

Covert Jay: The two head back towards the middle of the ring and out of nowhere, Travis Pierce punches Larry Tact with what appears to be the force of 1000 suns! Larry just spun around in a full circle!

Leiberjosch: Larry staggers around right into THE TRUTH HURTS!!!!!! WAIT! HE COUNTERS! He just picked up Travis and lifted him up… oh my!

Vinegar: STARBREAKER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Covert Jay: Larry falls into the cover and hooks the leg!!!



1!!!



2!!!



3!!!



DING DING DING

Mitchell: Here is your winner… LARRRYYYYYYYY TTTTAAAAAAAACCCCCTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!

Vinegar: Tact did it! He's the new number one contender for the World Heavyweight Championship!

Covert Jay: He'll challenge the champion next month at the Massive Melee!

Lieberjosch: But who will be that champion?

Vinegar: We'll find out our in main event, coming up next!

[UGWC Staff]

Vinegar: What an incredible night we have had here in London at the Stamford Bridge!

Covert Jay: There truly has been chaos in Chelsea!

Vinegar: Before we get to the main event, we have received word that after the controversial events of earlier tonight, that Matt Knox and Montague Cervantes will now be officially recognized as the Cooperative Champions!

Lieberjosch: Ridiculous!

Vinegar: Additionally, this unlikely team will see their first title defense in two weeks time on Synergy, against the team of ‘The Bogeyman’ JC, and Jaclyn Pierrot!

Lieberjosch: This is madness!

Covert Jay: This is UGWC!!!

Vinegar: Looking forward to seeing where that goes, for sure, but in the meantime, it’s time for tonight’s main event, and what a main event it is!

Mitchell Dennis: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is best two out of three falls, and is WINNER TAKE ALL!!!!

The lights in the arena dip to black in time with the sirens and beat to the opening of Sweatpants (BattleTapes Remix) by Childish Gambino, the lights then beginning to flash, alternating left and right onto the ramp. In time, the letters "S", "E", "B", and then "Empire" flash one at a time on the big screen until the lights stop flashing as the lyrics hit.

"She askin' “Why you say that?!”

The beat drops and the lights flash on the rampway again. As they do, the screen illuminates with "SEB" and then "EMPIRE" flashing on the sceen.

"Rich kid asshole, paint me as a villain"

Sebastian Everett-Bryce flings his arms wide, staring up with his head covered by the hood of his jacket. He stands in the middle of the ramp, the lights beating down on him, before looking out at the crowd. He wears a long jacket with the hood pulled up over his head, zipped to the waist. The jacket, which is cut away at the bottom and only runs down the back of his legs, is patterned with an elongated Union Flag, but it’s in black and white and appears to be cracked and broken. His tights are short, with the initials SEB emblazoned upon the front.

The lights lift, and SEB makes his way to the ring, stretching his neck from side to side as he walks, his eyes focused on the ring. He climbs up the steps and steps through the ropes before standing in the middle of the ring.

"I'm winnin', yeah, yeah, I'm winnin' (What?)
Rich kid, asshole, paint me as a villain"

He extends his arms once more before pulling back his hood and removing his jacket to reveal the back of his tights which read “S.E.B”

"Don't be mad cause I'm doing me better than you doing you
Better than you doing you, fuck it, what you gon' do? (What?!)"

He flashes his arms out to a side, a satisfied and somewhat sneery grin upon his face, he holds the position for a moment, to allow the crowd to take pictures, before moving towards his corner.

Mitchell Dennis: Introducing first, he is the reigning AND defending Chaos Champion, the Chelsea Crippler, SEBBASSSSSTIANNNN EVERETTTT-BRRYYYCCEEEEEE!!!!!

Vinegar: Sebastian Everett-Bryce has been the Chaos Champion for 490 days, the most impressive championship reign of any kind in UGWC, and a record that we may very well never see broken.

Lieberjosch: Eleven successfully title defenses, he’s beaten ten different people, several of them more than once.

Covert Jay: It’s also included a Rooftop Match, a Hard Ten Match, Hangman’s Horror, and the Towering Inferno.

Vinegar: The Mauler of Markham Square has done it all, but the greatest challenge is the one now in front of him.

The arena goes black. The opening chords of "Undead" by Hollywood Undead blare over the Arena PA system. One by one, spotlights around the arena begin fading in and out, alternating between a bright white and deep purple tones. As the bass line kicks into its highly recognized bone jarring chorus the spotlights sync their flashing with the rhythm. Suddenly the spotlights all turn at once, illuminating the stage in a brilliant flash and a radiating glow. Lucy Wylde steps out from behind the curtain onto center stage just as the crowd begins to cheer and sing along with the song...

UNDEAD!!!!!

UNDEAD!!!!!

UNDEAD!!!!!

UNDEAD!!!!!

As the verse begins, Lucy begins walking towards the ring, a big smile on her face as she moves from side to side along the aisle - slapping the hands of the fans as she goes. She gets to ringside and runs up the ring steps, climbing into the ring and ascending the far turnbuckle, raising her arms into the air. She pulls a pair of fingerless leather gloves from her back pocket and puts them on, one by one. Her music begins to fade into the background of the cheers of the fans. Once both gloves are tight, she clenches both fists and jumps down from the turnbuckle, awaiting the opening bell.

Mitchell Dennis: And his opponent, she is the reigning AND defending UGWC World Champion, LUCCCYYYYYYY WYYYYYLLLLLLDDDDEEEEEE!!!!

Vinegar: Lucy Wylde has been the World Champion for most of the past year, and coming into tonight has held the title a combined total of 420 days in her career, which ranks third all time.

Lieberjosch: But just as can be said for her opponent, she likely faces her biggest challenge yet here tonight.

Covert Jay: It was last December at Horizons that Lucy won the title from Tempest in a Three Stages of Hell match, she certainly knows what she is getting into here.

Vinegar: The winner of this match will be both the World and Chaos Champions, but will be required to vacate the Chaos Title in two weeks at Synergy.

Covert Jay: But they will select the individual that will compete for the vacant title against Konrad Raab, the winner of the Sadistic Madness Match earlier tonight.

DING DING!!!

Vinegar: Match officially underway, and this crowd is at a fever pitch!

Covert Jay: Seb and Lucy staring across the ring at each other, these two are very close friends, but all that gets put aside here tonight!

Lieberjosch: I don’t know how that friendship survives this. No matter who wins, they’ve crushed the dreams of the other.

Covert Jay: You don’t understand because you’ve never had a friend that you didn’t pay for.

Lieberjosch: At least Nicholas and I get paid for what we do here.

Covert Jay: Hold on, you guys get paid?

Vinegar: Wylde and Seb meeting in the center of the ring, each looking around at the crowd, and finally at each other. Wylde nods, and they lock-up!

Lieberjosch: Both grappling for position, Seb gets Lucy into a hammerlock, but she counters through and picks the leg, taking Seb to the mat.

Vinegar: Wylde attempts to apply a Lebell Lock, but Seb is able to slip out. He tries to get to his feet, but she pulls him into an inside cradle!





ONE!!!





Vinegar: Seb kicks out!

Lieberjosch: Smart strategy out the gate by Lucy Wylde, she knows she has to win two falls, trying to get the first one under her belt as quickly as possible.

Covert Jay: And the rules are set to change as the match goes on, while this first fall is under standard rules, the second will be under chaos division rules that likely plays to Seb’s strengths, and if a third fall is needed, it will be Last Person Standing.

Vinegar: Seb has rolled to the outside after kicking out of that pin, he’s got a smile on his face as he looks back at Wylde, knows she almost had him there.

Lieberjosch: Lucy with a smile on her face as well, she beckons Seb back into the ring, and he nods his head and climbs back up on the apron stepping back in.

Vinegar: Wylde giving him the space to do it, a tremendous amount of respect between these two.

Lieberjosch: Both circling the ring, coming back together for another tie-up, but Seb drops and shoots the leg, taking her to the mat!

Covert Jay: Seb trying to apply the S4S, but Lucy slips out of it, both popping to their feet!

Lieberjosch: WYLDE LIBERATION!!!

Vinegar: Seb saw it and backpedaled to safety, nearly ran himself through the turnbuckle as he backed into it, Wylde landing back first on the mat, she winces but rolls to her knees, slowly rising back to her feet.

Lieberjosch: Seb knows he dodged another bullet there, his familiarity with Lucy and his own impressive ring awareness saving him for the moment.

Vinegar: Wylde charges at Seb in the corner, he sidesteps out of the way, but she doesn’t miss a beat, springboarding out of the corner and connecting with a leg lariat!

Covert Jay: Seb is down, and Lucy wastes no time following up with the Fury Brand!

Vinegar: She’s got the cover!





ONE!!!





TWO!!!!!





Vinegar: Seb kicks out!

Lieberjosch: Lucy bringing Seb back to his feet, but he catches her with an uppercut. Seb spins her around into a waistlock, into a German suplex!

Covert Jay: But Lucy fully ninja rotates and lands on her feet! She grabs Seb from behind and runs him forward into the ropes, back into a rollup!





ONE!!!





TWO!!!!!





Vinegar: Seb kicks out and immediately puts Wylde into the Emperor Lock!

Lieberjosch: He’s trying to lock it in, but she’s got her right arm up and in the way, blocking, and she manages to slip out!

Vinegar: Wylde rolls away, Seb scrambling back to his feet.

Covert Jay: EMPIRE KICK!!!

Vinegar: Sidestepped by Wylde, she moves into position as Seb tries to rise!

Lieberjosch: WYLDE LIB-

Covert Jay: Seb dropped to the mat and pulled her into an inside cradle!!!





ONE!!!





TWO!!!!!





THREE!!!!!!!





Mitchell Dennis: The winner of the first fall, SEBASTIAN EVERETT-BRYCE!!!

Lieberjosch: Seb got her!

Vinegar: Sebastian Everett-Bryce caught a stunned Lucy Wylde by surprise, and he wins the first fall!

Covert Jay: And now the second fall will be under chaos division rules, which plays directly to Seb’s strengths!

Vinegar: Seb rolls out of the ring and goes underneath the apron, pulling out some plunder.

Covert Jay: Lucy is back on her feet, shaking off what just happened, and she charges and soars over the ropes with the Meteor Strike!

Vinegar: Wylde picks up a kendo stick and stares at it, Seb trying to get back up, and she cracks him in the back with it!

Lieberjosch: Seb rolls back into the ring, Lucy slides in behind him, and she cracks him a second time with the stick, swings for a third shot, but he catches it!

Vinegar: Seb pinned the stick between his arm and his ribs, wincing in clear pain, but he grabs the stick with both hands and yanks Wylde towards him, trapping her arm and snapping her into the Stamford Bridge!

Lieberjosch: Shoulders down!





ONE!!!





TWO!!!!!





Vinegar: Wylde kicks out!

Lieberjosch: Seb picks up the kendo stick, meanwhile Lucy crawls towards the side of the ring, halfway under the apron and reaching for something.

Vinegar: Seb grabs her by the leg and pulls her back in, but she’s gotten hold of a chair!

Lieberjosch: He sees it and quickly releases her leg, swinging the stick down at her with both hands, but she blocks it with the chair!

Covert Jay: Lucy rolls to her feet and blocks a second attack with the stick.

Vinegar: Wylde tosses the chair to Seb, who drops the stick to catch it, and she connects with a spinning heel kick, knocking the chair into his face!

Lieberjosch: The chair drops to the mat, Seb stumbles, and Lucy rushes past him, handsprings off the ropes!

Covert Jay: MINDBLO-

Lieberjosch: Seb snatches the chair back up and smacks her out of the air with it!

Vinegar: Wylde on the mat holding her leg, Seb falling to a knee, that was pure instinct that allowed him to retaliate against the Mindblow.

Lieberjosch: It’s the instinct that’s helped him retain the Chaos Championship for sixteen months.

Vinegar: Seb grabs Wylde by the head, bringing her over the chair.

Covert Jay: WYLDE LIBERATION!!!!

Vinegar: Wylde connects with Wylde Liberation, dropping Seb face first onto the steel chair, and she’s got the cover!





ONE!!!





TWO!!!!!





THREE!!!!!!!





Mitchell Dennis: The winner of the second fall, LUCY WYLDE!!!!

Covert Jay: Lucy ties it up!

Mitchell Dennis: The third and final fall is a LAST PERSON STANDING MATCH!!!

Vinegar: Last person standing will be both the World and Chaos Champions, it all comes down to this!

Lieberjosch: Seb outwrestled Lucy to win the first fall, but the resilient World Champion beat him on his own turf for the second fall!

Covert Jay: Don’t forget that Lucy Wylde is a former Chaos Champion herself, and she defended the World Title earlier this year against Zane Scott in a Monster’s Ball Match. She’s as tough as they come!

Vinegar: Wylde has rolled out of the ring, limping a bit from that earlier chairshot, but she goes under the ring and is pulling out steel chair after steel chair, throwing each one into the ring!

Lieberjosch: Seb starting to get back to his feet, one of the chairs actually hits him, just a glancing blow.

Vinegar: Wylde rolls back into the ring, she’s got something in her hand.

Lieberjosch: She throws it at Seb!

Covert Jay: IT’S A CROC!!!!

Vinegar: Seb catches the footwear and gives it a puzzled look before he laughs, but Wylde isn’t laughing as she tackles him into the newly formed pile of steel chairs!

Lieberjosch: Lucy rolls off of Seb and uses the ropes to pull herself up, Glenn Burke is in position to start a ten count, but she waves him off and tells him not to bother.

Vinegar: Wylde limps along the ropes as Seb is stirring, she grabs him and starts to pull him off the chairs, but Seb cuts behind her, hurls her into the corner with a German suplex!

Lieberjosch: Seb gets back to his feet, and he picks up Lucy and places her on the turnbuckle.

Vinegar: The Mauler of Markham Square looks back at the pile of chairs, but seems to have a different thought as he steps out to the apron.

Lieberjosch: What’s he thinking?

Vinegar: Seb ascending the turnbuckle from the outside, adjusting Wylde, and…no, Seb, don’t do this!

Covert Jay: He’s going to do it!

Vinegar: JESUS CHRIST ON A POGO STICK!!!!!

Lieberjosch: Seb just hurled Lucy off the turnbuckle with a spider suplex, right through the Zimbabwean Announce Table!

Covert Jay: Glenn Burke is out there!


ONE!!


TWO!!


THREE!!


Vinegar: Seb still hanging upside down from the outside of the turnbuckle, Lucy Wylde lying in the broken pieces of our colleague’s table!


FOUR!!


FIVE!!


SIX!!


Lieberjosch: Seb drops off the turnbuckle, hitting the apron as he tumbles to ringside. Lucy, unbelievably, is starting to stir.


SEVEN!!


EIGHT!!


NINE!!


Covert Jay: She’s up!

Vinegar: Wylde is up, though she falters into the barricade just after Burke signals that she is up. Seb is leaning on the ringpost, meanwhile EMTs had started to make their way to ringside, and Seb intercepts them and tells them to leave.

Lieberjosch: He’s probably insulted that they even came out here before the match was over, neither Seb nor Lucy want anything getting in the way of this.

Vinegar: Seb forcing the EMTs to go back up the ramp, meanwhile Wylde has walked along the barricade to the stretcher that the EMTs had brought with them.

Covert Jay: Lucy gets on the stretcher, and uses the barricade for leverage to launch the stretcher forward, crashing into Seb as he turns back around!

Vinegar: The impact causes Wylde to tumble to the ground herself, as Seb pounds the ground before grabbing the stretcher and using it to get back to his own feet.

Covert Jay: Lucy trying to get back up, but Seb flapjacks her on top of the stretcher!

Vinegar: Now Seb grabs the stretcher, Wylde on top of it, and begins pushing it up the ramp to the stage!

Lieberjosch: Seb rushes forward and shoves the stretcher, sending it crashing into the back of the stage!

Vinegar: Wylde tumbles to the ground, but uses the wall to get back to her feet.

Covert Jay: Seb rushes towards her!

Lieberjosch: EMPIRE KICK!!!

Vinegar: Wylde moves out of the way and Seb goes right through the wall!!!!

Covert Jay: Glenn Burke has caught up to them, as Seb has gone through the wall into the set!


ONE!!


TWO!!


Lieberjosch: Did we cheap out on that? What the hell.

Covert Jay: Maybe it’s local materials?

Lieberjosch: You’re just making stuff up.


THREE!!


FOUR!!


FIVE!!


Vinegar: Wylde using the stretcher to get back to her feet, no sign of Seb yet.



SIX!!


SEVEN!!


EIGHT!!


Lieberjosch: Lucy starts moving towards the hole!


NINE!!


Vinegar: Seb emerging from the hole!

Lieberjosch: Lucy goes to strike him, blocked and retaliated by Seb!

Vinegar: She stumbles away and tumbles to the ground, rolling towards the edge of the stage!

Covert Jay: That’s right above our audio equipment!

Vinegar: Wylde trying to get back to her feet!

Lieberjosch: EMPIRE KICK!!!!!!

Vinegar: The impact sends both over the edge and crashing through the equipment!!!

Covert Jay: Look at the pyrotechnic display as it explodes around them!

Vinegar: And now where are the EMTs?!

Covert Jay: Oh, they’re not coming back out now. They learned their lesson.

Lieberjosch: Burke getting down there as quickly as he can, they’re both down!

Vinegar: Glenn Burke is in position!


ONE!!


TWO!!


THREE!!


FOUR!!


Vinegar: Oh my god, they’re actually both stirring.

Covert Jay: Well it did take Glenn a bit to get down there.


FIVE!!


SIX!!


SEVEN!!


EIGHT!!


Lieberjosch: They’re both nearly up!

Vinegar: Unbelievable!


NINE!!


Covert Jay: Lucy’s leg gives out!

Lieberjosch: Seb is up!


TEN!!


Mitchell Dennis: Here is your winner and the NEW World Heavyweight Champion, SEBASSTIANNN EVVERRETTTT-BRYYYCCEEEEE!!!!

Lieberjosch: He did it!

Vinegar: Seb collapses, but he was up at the ten count, he’s won the third fall, he’s won this match!

Lieberjosch: What a journey it has been for the Chelsea Crippler, one of the greatest reigns we’ve ever seen, and now in his hometown, he’s once again the World Heavyweight Champion!

Covert Jay: He might be the greatest champion in history!

Vinegar: Without a doubt one of the greatest moments in UGWC history, a match between two tremendous competitors, and here at the Stamford Bridge, in his home country, Sebastian Everett-Bryce, the record-setting Chaos Champion, is now the UGWC World Heavyweight Champion.

Covert Jay: We’ll see you in two weeks!

[UGWC Staff]

Credits

Sadistic Madness
B

Cross-Hemisphere Championship
Dave

Highwire Match
Steve

Vain vs Rydell
Ad

#1 Contender Match
Dave

Main Event
Steve

[Dave Rydell]

OOC: far and beyond my favorite PPV of the year... i've been saying it all day but from start to finish this event was spectacular. major props to all of the competitors and match writers for putting in the incredible work they did.

and for me personally, to "Vain"... thank you for the challenge. I may not have come out on top but it was hella fun writing against you these last couple weeks. I hope we go through it again soon! glad to have you back, it was an honor.

[Mr.Ego]

I haven't left in-depth feedback on a PPV event in what feels like forever, so figured the best way to go about it would be match-by-match, with some final thoughts at the end.

Sadistic Madness - Dark Destroyer vs John Blade vs Konrad Raab vs Phrixus Deimos

Generally speaking, I don’t think anyone writes weird, oddball, chaotic type matches/scenes better than B. It’s why I look forward to the “Chaos Day” of Wrestlestock as much as I do every year, just so I can see how he will outdo what he has done in previous years. I don’t even pretend to understand how he brainstorms the ideas he has for any match he writes, but seeing it come together is always a treat.

For this Sadistic Madness Match, we saw glimpses of that, all while I know he was battling through some stuff in real life. Incorporating Err Bear is always a fun time, because literally anything can – and does, oftentimes – happen. And B uses that Err Bear character better than pretty much everyone else.

The match itself was fun, and I think did what it needed to do as the opening match of this event. And Raab standing tall is a clear indication that the Chaos Division is exactly where Konrad Raab longs to be, and he has solidified himself in it with this performance (both from a match standpoint, as well as a roleplay standpoint from Fizz).

Congrats to Fizz on the win, and kudos to B for a fun match.


Cross-Hemisphere Championship – Zane Scott vs Ezra Wolfe

This match did a great job of showcasing the animosity that Zane and Ezra have for one another, while also telling the age-old story of the smaller competitor (only 3 inches difference in height, but 50+ pounds difference in weight) doing what is needed at the beginning to stay out of the clutches of the bigger competitor, as Ezra used his advantage in quickness to connect with a variety of different shots (kicks, knees, punches), while also avoiding the powerful strikes of Zane Scott. And then when Zane finally did get his hands on Ezra, he pummeled him as you would see happen in any match like this.

Ezra proved his mettle though, absorbing the damage and ultimately turning things around to get multiple near-falls on the reigning champion. And had he hit the Blindspot at the end, we likely have a new Cross-Hemisphere Champion right now.

And then, obviously, we have the payoff of what Zane has been promising the last few weeks, as we are shown footage of what transpired back in 2012 that led to Ezra’s injuries. It solidifies what Zane has been saying in that, he wasn’t the one responsible (it was Stein, who now looking back, maybe deserved the attack he suffered lol). In that footage, however, we also see that while Ezra was being mauled by Alex Stein, Pax simply glared at what was going on, in no way offering any help whatsoever to Ezra Wolf. I really look forward to seeing what transpires between those two in the weeks ahead.

I felt the roleplays were extremely close between you guys, and coming into this event I thought it could go either way. And Dave did a great job of writing it in that manner, to where every near fall could have very well been THE fall that ended the match. And I simply love matches like that.

Congrats to Ad on successfully retaining the C-H Title; kudos to Brody for the work he put into this feud and for writing a roleplay that made it very difficult for us to determine a winner when voting; and great job to Dave on the match itself. I enjoyed every single bit of everything associated with this match.
 

Singles Match – 'Vain' Alan Wallace vs Dave Rydell

First off Ad, thanks for the shoutout. In fact, Chad was enjoying it to that point. Very much so. LOL

As for the match itself, I think it played into everything perfectly, even from the moment the introductions occurred. Vain would definitely want to hear as many of his monikers read off as possible, for two main reasons. First, just because he’s Vain. Why wouldn’t he request more to be read off? Secondly, he’s been away a while. He’s just making sure everyone remembers who he is.

I think Rydell starting off hot and fast made perfect sense for a multitude of reasons. Mainly, he’s had enough of people still viewing him a certain way, even though he has accomplished as much as he has in his career. Starting off like he did and whipping Vain’s ass all around the ring and the ringside area? Basically him reminding everyone that he isn’t a pushover, and he’s going to prove it by treating Vain like only a few others have over the years. Which makes absolute sense. It also played into the fact that Vain has been out of action for as long as he has, and no matter the ability that he may have in the ring, being in ring shape (both physically and mentally) is absolutely a thing. And the start of this match proved that maybe Vain was slightly in over his head against someone like Dave Rydell this soon in his comeback. Especially when Rydell has been here busting his ass week in and week out, while Vain has been fucking off in Miami with Celeste for 2+ years.

I enjoyed you having Alice taken out of the equation for a portion of the match, as it allowed both men certain liberties that they otherwise wouldn’t have had. For Rydell, it was to incorporate as much punishment as possible onto someone whom he feels has no respect for him. For Vain, it was to allow him to cut off Rydell’s momentum by any means necessary. Because let’s face it, he needed to, as he seemingly underestimated what he was getting into in this match, with this opponent.

This match was back and forth with multiple instances where the ending could have occurred, and that played not only into the tension and back-and-forth between the two men during the match, but also played into the work that Dave and I did for our roleplays leading up to this match. Because I felt the match could have gone either way, and like I said in either rp feedback or a reply to feedback (I don’t remember which one), I totally could have seen the result going the other way, and it would have been well-deserved had that been the case.

Ad, great match. I can’t speak for Dave, but I think you represented both of our characters perfectly in how they were portrayed during this battle. And Dave, it was an honor to have my first PPV match back against you. I had a ball going back and forth with you over the last few weeks, and I definitely want to revisit this at some point before I hang things up for good (whenever that will be).


Highwire Match for Cooperative Championships - Suplex Cops (JC/Matt Knox) vs Tragedia del'Arte (Montague Cervantes/Jaclyn Pierrot)

I know that one or more people had some issues going on with real life that affected the ability to get a roleplay up, and while disappointing from a reader and match perspective, real life always needs to come first. Because a match or a roleplay battle can always be revisited at a later date.

In this instance, I think Steve did a good job with the match itself, and I really enjoy the swerve at the end where Cervantes and Knox are both holding a title, making them the UGWC Cooperative Champions. I think that is going to make for some extremely interesting reading moving forward, and I can’t wait to see what the four handlers behind those characters come up with as we navigate into the next cycle.


#1 Contender Match for UGWC World Championship – Larry Tact vs Travis Pierce

Great back and forth match between two people striving to become the new number one contender to the UGWC World Championship. I felt this match could have gone either way, because I thought both roleplays did what they needed to do, even if I may have wanted a bit more from each. In the end, I thought it was a fairly even roleplay battle, which transcended into a pretty even match. And rightfully so.

Congrats to Larry Tact for becoming the number one contender (even if I don’t envy you for having to climb the Mike/Seb mountain), and kudos to Dave for writing another really good match. Two matches, and a damn good roleplay? Who even are you, T-Rob? Steve? B? Ad?

Great addition to the staff. Keep on keeping on, Dave.


Winner Take All Match (UGWC World Championship, UGWC Chaos Championship) - Lucy Wylde vs Sebastian Everett-Bryce III

Terrific back and forth match between the two, which is a testament to how well both Barbie and Mike wrote for this match. I liked how there was a friendly respect shown during the early parts of the match, which matches the friendship and respect that the two characters have for one another… but I also liked that when push came to shove, neither one of them hesitated to do what they needed to do, in order to come out with the victory. I also quite enjoyed the fact that Lucy defeated Seb in the Chaos Rules match, which is the type of match that he has excelled in over the last 16-18 months. Nice touch there.

This was a great first PPV Main Event match back for me to read, as were the roleplays that were put out for it. Both Barbie and Mike wrote their asses off for this match, and I think Steve did a great job in honoring the work that they both put in with this match.

Big congrats to Mike for coming out on top, and huge kudos for Barbie pushing him the way that she did. I thought this one was anyone’s game, and I felt that way while reading the match all the way to the very end.  Excellent work, all three of you (Barbie, Mike, Steve).


Final Thoughts

Excellent work by all involved for this event. From the roleplays that were written by everyone, to all of the matches that staff put out for this show. You all did a fantastic job for Chaos in Chelsea, and I hope that you are all proud of the effort that you put forth. It was a fantastic read for this old drunk, as I enjoyed every minute of all of it.

And thank you all for allowing me the honor of rejoining such an excellent group of writers, as I continue my time-honored tradition of just throwing verbal shit against the e-fed wall and hoping it sticks.