Post by UGWC Staff on Sept 11, 2023 21:12:23 GMT -5
Welcome to GlobalTrollz LIVE Synergy Coverage for September 11th, 2023!
Championship Roll Call:
World Heavyweight Champion: Sebastian Everett-Bryce
- Next Defense: Massive Melee vs Larry Tact
Cross-Hemisphere Champion: Zane Scott
- Next Defense: TBD vs TBD
Cooperative Champions: Suplex del’Arte
- Next Defense: TONIGHT vs Ragdoll and JC
Chaos Champion: Vacant
- Next Defense:NEXT WEEK - Konrad Raab vs TBD
Conquest Champion: Donovan Hastings
- Next Defense: TONIGHT vs The Dark Destroyer
Keys to the Kingdom:
Keeper of the Global Challenge Key: Zane Scott
Keeper of the Survival of the Fittest Tournament Key: Matt Knox
Keeper of the Battleground Key: Dave Rydell
Keeper of the Massive Melee Key: TBD on October 2
This is the third defense of the Conquest Title for Hastings. Vinegar challenges the quality of his defenses on commentary, but Lieberjosch pushes back on him, while Covert Jay points out the poor record of Hastings historically against his current challenger.
Hastings has brought a can labeled bear spray with him to the ring, which he refuses to give to the referee as the Dark Destroyer blunders his way down the ramp. Chartreuse finally manages to wrest the can away from Hastings, and hands it out to someone at ringside. Hastings leans through the ropes and orders that the can not be far away in case of Err Bear, when the Dark Destroyer stumbles into the worker holding the can, and the can accidentally sprays Hastings in the eyes.
With the Dark Destroyer in the ring, the match officially begins, to the panic of a blinded Hastings. Hastings flails and the Destroyer attempts to to grab him, but gets smacked in the face and falls down. The blinded Hastings trips over the Destroyer and falls to the ground, with the Dark Destroyer rolling on top of him. Chartreuse counts the fall, but Hastings shoves him off just before the two.
Hastings still can’t see, but now having a sense of where the Destroyer is, he grabs him by the head and holds on as he gets back to his feet, before lifting him into Destiny’s Call! Hastings covers, and gets the three!
Winner: Donovan Hastings
Time: 2:17
Ezra gets off to a quick start as soon as the bell rings by taking Vain down with a tackle. He mounts him and rains down forearm shots to his face, with Vain barely blocking about half of him. He looks about half a step slow, still showing the after effects of his brutal Chaos match with Ezra’s former CoOperative partner Dave Rydell the week before. Ezra lands a couple of more forearm shots, causing a bruise to form on Vain’s forehead. He switches from forearms to elbows and proceeds to violently drive them into the same place he’d be striking with the forearms. This time Vain gets inside his guard and grabs Ezra’s free arm, wrenching it back into a nasty looking arm lock that forces Ezra to give up his assault or risk having his arm snapped. He rolls off and comes to his feet, only to see Vain roll out to the floor. Lieberjosch comments that he’s surprised to see this so early, but that Ezra had better be careful, because Vain doesn’t do anything by accident.
Hans then goes to great pains to point out that it’s “by accident,” and not “on accident,” and if you say “on accident,” that you sound like an illiterate putz. Vinegar chastises him for being a douche. Jay chortles at the use of “putz” because he’s Jay. Hans points out how much he hates Jay. It is a UGWC broacast after all.
Ezra rolls out of the ring from a parallel side and grabs a chair from ringside. He stalks over to Vain and spins him around while raising the chair. Then gets clocked by Vain, who’s taken his own steel chair out from under the ring. Ezra drops to one knee and glares up at Vain, yelling at him to do it again. Vain obliges. He IS a gentleman you know. Ezra wobbles but somehow stays on one knee, then yells at Vain to hit him again. Vain winds up to bring down a shot that looks like it would fell an elephant, but is intercepted by Ezra, who drives his own chair head end first into Vain’s stomach. Vain staggers backward, dropping his own chair. Ezra charges him, throws his chair at Vain, who catches it as much out of self-defense as anything else and is promptly fed an overage on his iron allotment as Ezra leap kicks it into his face.
Ezra places the chair on Vain, then uses Vain’s former chair to tune him up a bit by whacking them together with Vain under them. Once the chair is good and mangled, he sets it up open on top of Vain, with the other chair still there, then leaps on the other end of the apron and squashes Vain under them with a running senton off of the apron. He pulls Vain out from under them and throws him over the announcers table, cleaning the team out. He takes Vain back down with a leaping clothesline, using the table as a pushoff, then places him on it and drives another elbow into his forehead, finally busting him open. He punches Vain in the stomach once for good measure, then runs and goes from the floor, to the apron, to the top of the turnbuckle in three leaps. Somewhere along the way he’s picked up a barbed wire wrapped bat.
He leaps, holding the bat between himself and the still prone Vain.
Gravity does its thing and Ezra obliterates the table, landing on the barbed wire bat. And no Vain. Vain lays a few feet away, staring at Ezra with a wicked smile on his face. It evaporates quickly as Ezra pulls him up with the bat dangling from him and slowly pulls it out. Vain doens’t find this nearly as amusing, and in fact looks quite disgusted. He grabs the camera from the camera man, runs at Ezra and bashes him in the head with it. Ezra falls and proceeds to get bludgeoned with the camera before Vain spins it around and gloats into it before bashing Ezra in the stomach with it for good measure before he desposes of it. He proceeds to beat Ezra into the floor with another chair, then pummel him with the barbed wire bat before he chokes Ezra with a ringside cord. At this point both men’s faces are bloody messes.
Both men end up sliding back into the ring and come back trading punches. From there it devolves into them trading kicks, clotheslines, suplexes, and eventually Vain hits Ezra with a “Curtain Call,” only for Ezra to pop back up and connect with “Point Break.” He follows it with the “Lightning Strike,” which sends Vain off of the ropes. He bounces off and responds with a spinning neckbreaker and a pliedriver. Vain goes to pull Ezra up, only to be brought low by a headbutt to the stomach and dropped by the “Blindspot.” He immediately connects with the “Knee Jerk Reaction,” but only gets a two count.
Both men are exhausted by this point and Vain is clearly in excruciating pain. Not that Ezra is much better off. Ezra reaches for Vain, only to recoil back clutching at his eyes. Vain springs up and kicks Ezra in the nuts, followed by “The Cherry Popper.” He slides out and sets a table up, then piles a couple of open chairs on it before sitting Ezra on top of the turnbuckle. He pats Ezra on the face, then runs up the turnbuckle, nearly falling off before he ragains his balance, springboards off and grabs Ezra around the neck. The two tumble off and anihillate the table, with Ezra taking the damage of both open chais and the table while Vain completes “The Money Maker” by violently bouncing off of the floor. The bounce carries him into the wall, which he richochets off of and collapses onto Ezra. Three seconds later Vain has another win…although he doesn’t look particularly “victorious.”
Winner: “Vain” Alan Wallace
Time: 19:59
All three competitors are in the ring and before the bell can finish ringing, Lucy is on the attack. She pummels Dave down to the mat and starts throwing fist after fist at him. Dave, still showing bruises from his fight at Chaos in Chelsea, rolls her over and starts doing the same. Larry is just standing back, watching these two beat the crap out of each other. Eventually, they get to a standing base and start throwing shot after shot at one another, seriously knocking each other for a loop. After a few more moments of this, and a smirk from Larry, he jumps in. He shoulder blocks Dave down and hits a back elbow to Lucy!
Larry grabs Lucy and sends her into the corner, but she comes out like a house of fire, immediately pummeling the #1 Contender! The brutality in her eyes tells the story. She grabs Larry and hurls him into the corner, with so much force, he slams into it and staggers out, right into a powerslam from Wylde. Dave is back and grabs Lucy from behind, by the hair, and slams her to the mat. He hits a vicious stomp on her head that was noticeably harder than normal. Lucy rolls away, holding her eye, and it looks like it’s already swelling! This enrages her. She gets up and lunges at Dave! He tries to hit a powerslam of his own but Lucy swings around and hits a reverse neckbreaker. Dave tries to get back up but gets a quick superkick to the face. And when I say face, I mean face. Dave went down and blood begins to gush from his nose! Lucy just broke Dave’s fucking nose!
Dave, obviously pissed about this, is now just as pissed as Lucy! He gets up and yells as he charges at her. He lunges for a spear, and she embraces it into a pummeling session! Dave has Lucy almost in a bear hug while she throws every fist she can at him! He keeps pushing, right into the corner!!! Dave starts hitting shoulder thrusts until eventually, Lucy breaks away from the fight and slumps down. She slowly staggers out of the corner and Dave quickly hits a Virus of Life! With her veteran skills, Lucy rolls out of the ring to the floor. Dave quickly turns his focus back to Larry, who is now back up!
The two lock up in the middle of the ring and Larry gets behind Dave! Back suplex from the #1 Contender! He goes for a cover but only gets 2. Dave, gets back up, bloody face and all. He grabs Larry but Larry breaks out and hits a judo throw. Dave slides through and charges. Drop toe hold from Larry! Dave lands right on his face! Larry picks Dave up and sets him up for Tactful Surrender but Dave breaks out and gets behind Larry and goes for a full nelson face buster! Larry battles out of it. Larry kicks Dave in the gut and follows up with a hard clothesline! Larry looks out to see Lucy still down on the floor below. He turns back to Dave, right into the After Shock! Larry counters out of it! Dave gets spun around! Larry goes for a high kick! Blocked by Rydell into a T-Bone suplex!
As Dave is measuring Larry for a Stomp, Lucy gets up from the ground at ringside. She is about to climb into the ring when she’s blindsided by Konrad!! Konrad rolls Lucy into the ring and follows. Dave notices for a second but turns back and goes to hit the Stomp on Larry and nails it! He goes for the cover, but the referee is distracted trying to get Konrad out of the fight. Dave gets up and starts yelling at Konrad and the referee but gets ignored. Konrad nails Lucy with the Burninator before Dave charges Konrad! He tackles Konrad out of the ring through the ropes and tries to get back in, but Konrad is back up and hurls Dave into the steel steps! Back in the ring Larry came to and grabs a rising Lucy for Starbreaker! He drops down and covers Lucy for the 3 count!
Winner: Larry Tact
Time: 13:02
This goes about as well as one might expect, with both sides pulling stunts like double teaming across teams, refusing tags, and immediately tagging out when both legal competitors are friends.
At one point, Joe insists that he and Matt spar it out sportsmanlike, and Knox agrees. They shoot for a bit, chain wrestling, until Matt fumbles his one legged codebreaker, and JC is able to hit SCHISM.
He covers, but Cervantes makes the save, throwing thumbs up at Knox as he did back to their corner.
Joe begs Matt to tag Monty in, and Montague reaches for it. Matt obliges, but just as Joe is about to start lifting a boot, Ragdoll hits him from behind with MURDER SHE WROTE!!
A fed up Green prevents Monty from going for the pin, though, making the call that Jacky tagged herself in.
Jacky and Monty shrug, and are about to go to town when Knox jerks Ragdoll into the air, then hits her with INTO THE VOID.
Monty hadn't noticed, and was setting up SOC N BUSTIN. Without Jacky, he drops into a sit out facebuster. He stumbles into THE MERCY THE MURDER, but Jacky's bodyguards are on the apron, and Knox lets go to deal with that.
Ragdoll stirs, peering around to assess the situation. Getting an idea, she crawls over and covers her friend.
Green slides in and counts the three!
Jacky helps Monty to his feet, and grabs the belts. She hands one to Montague and they begin to jeer and hold them over the Suplex Cops.
Green steps in and takes Montague's belt away. The Showman shares a confused look with Ragdoll, and Green walks over to pull JC to his feet and hand him the belt. He declared Joe and Jacky the winners and new Cooperative Champions!
Winners: Ragdoll and JC
Time: 13:47
The ring erupts as all four competitors begin shouting and shoving, arguing with the ref about the result. It looks like mutiny and Sam is in trouble.
Daedalus comes out and announces that next week there will be a fatal fourway with all four of them, with the stipulation that whoever wins takes control of the Co-Op titles and selects their partner.
With that, we wrap up Synergy!
End Show
Championship Roll Call:
World Heavyweight Champion: Sebastian Everett-Bryce
- Next Defense: Massive Melee vs Larry Tact
Cross-Hemisphere Champion: Zane Scott
- Next Defense: TBD vs TBD
Cooperative Champions: Suplex del’Arte
- Next Defense: TONIGHT vs Ragdoll and JC
Chaos Champion: Vacant
- Next Defense:NEXT WEEK - Konrad Raab vs TBD
Conquest Champion: Donovan Hastings
- Next Defense: TONIGHT vs The Dark Destroyer
Keys to the Kingdom:
Keeper of the Global Challenge Key: Zane Scott
Keeper of the Survival of the Fittest Tournament Key: Matt Knox
Keeper of the Battleground Key: Dave Rydell
Keeper of the Massive Melee Key: TBD on October 2
~Commercial Break~
Conquest Championship
Donovan Hastings vs The Dark Destroyer
Donovan Hastings vs The Dark Destroyer
This is the third defense of the Conquest Title for Hastings. Vinegar challenges the quality of his defenses on commentary, but Lieberjosch pushes back on him, while Covert Jay points out the poor record of Hastings historically against his current challenger.
Hastings has brought a can labeled bear spray with him to the ring, which he refuses to give to the referee as the Dark Destroyer blunders his way down the ramp. Chartreuse finally manages to wrest the can away from Hastings, and hands it out to someone at ringside. Hastings leans through the ropes and orders that the can not be far away in case of Err Bear, when the Dark Destroyer stumbles into the worker holding the can, and the can accidentally sprays Hastings in the eyes.
With the Dark Destroyer in the ring, the match officially begins, to the panic of a blinded Hastings. Hastings flails and the Destroyer attempts to to grab him, but gets smacked in the face and falls down. The blinded Hastings trips over the Destroyer and falls to the ground, with the Dark Destroyer rolling on top of him. Chartreuse counts the fall, but Hastings shoves him off just before the two.
Hastings still can’t see, but now having a sense of where the Destroyer is, he grabs him by the head and holds on as he gets back to his feet, before lifting him into Destiny’s Call! Hastings covers, and gets the three!
Winner: Donovan Hastings
Time: 2:17
~Commercial Break~
Chaos Division Match: Alan Wallace vs Ezra Wolf
Ezra gets off to a quick start as soon as the bell rings by taking Vain down with a tackle. He mounts him and rains down forearm shots to his face, with Vain barely blocking about half of him. He looks about half a step slow, still showing the after effects of his brutal Chaos match with Ezra’s former CoOperative partner Dave Rydell the week before. Ezra lands a couple of more forearm shots, causing a bruise to form on Vain’s forehead. He switches from forearms to elbows and proceeds to violently drive them into the same place he’d be striking with the forearms. This time Vain gets inside his guard and grabs Ezra’s free arm, wrenching it back into a nasty looking arm lock that forces Ezra to give up his assault or risk having his arm snapped. He rolls off and comes to his feet, only to see Vain roll out to the floor. Lieberjosch comments that he’s surprised to see this so early, but that Ezra had better be careful, because Vain doesn’t do anything by accident.
Hans then goes to great pains to point out that it’s “by accident,” and not “on accident,” and if you say “on accident,” that you sound like an illiterate putz. Vinegar chastises him for being a douche. Jay chortles at the use of “putz” because he’s Jay. Hans points out how much he hates Jay. It is a UGWC broacast after all.
Ezra rolls out of the ring from a parallel side and grabs a chair from ringside. He stalks over to Vain and spins him around while raising the chair. Then gets clocked by Vain, who’s taken his own steel chair out from under the ring. Ezra drops to one knee and glares up at Vain, yelling at him to do it again. Vain obliges. He IS a gentleman you know. Ezra wobbles but somehow stays on one knee, then yells at Vain to hit him again. Vain winds up to bring down a shot that looks like it would fell an elephant, but is intercepted by Ezra, who drives his own chair head end first into Vain’s stomach. Vain staggers backward, dropping his own chair. Ezra charges him, throws his chair at Vain, who catches it as much out of self-defense as anything else and is promptly fed an overage on his iron allotment as Ezra leap kicks it into his face.
Ezra places the chair on Vain, then uses Vain’s former chair to tune him up a bit by whacking them together with Vain under them. Once the chair is good and mangled, he sets it up open on top of Vain, with the other chair still there, then leaps on the other end of the apron and squashes Vain under them with a running senton off of the apron. He pulls Vain out from under them and throws him over the announcers table, cleaning the team out. He takes Vain back down with a leaping clothesline, using the table as a pushoff, then places him on it and drives another elbow into his forehead, finally busting him open. He punches Vain in the stomach once for good measure, then runs and goes from the floor, to the apron, to the top of the turnbuckle in three leaps. Somewhere along the way he’s picked up a barbed wire wrapped bat.
He leaps, holding the bat between himself and the still prone Vain.
Gravity does its thing and Ezra obliterates the table, landing on the barbed wire bat. And no Vain. Vain lays a few feet away, staring at Ezra with a wicked smile on his face. It evaporates quickly as Ezra pulls him up with the bat dangling from him and slowly pulls it out. Vain doens’t find this nearly as amusing, and in fact looks quite disgusted. He grabs the camera from the camera man, runs at Ezra and bashes him in the head with it. Ezra falls and proceeds to get bludgeoned with the camera before Vain spins it around and gloats into it before bashing Ezra in the stomach with it for good measure before he desposes of it. He proceeds to beat Ezra into the floor with another chair, then pummel him with the barbed wire bat before he chokes Ezra with a ringside cord. At this point both men’s faces are bloody messes.
Both men end up sliding back into the ring and come back trading punches. From there it devolves into them trading kicks, clotheslines, suplexes, and eventually Vain hits Ezra with a “Curtain Call,” only for Ezra to pop back up and connect with “Point Break.” He follows it with the “Lightning Strike,” which sends Vain off of the ropes. He bounces off and responds with a spinning neckbreaker and a pliedriver. Vain goes to pull Ezra up, only to be brought low by a headbutt to the stomach and dropped by the “Blindspot.” He immediately connects with the “Knee Jerk Reaction,” but only gets a two count.
Both men are exhausted by this point and Vain is clearly in excruciating pain. Not that Ezra is much better off. Ezra reaches for Vain, only to recoil back clutching at his eyes. Vain springs up and kicks Ezra in the nuts, followed by “The Cherry Popper.” He slides out and sets a table up, then piles a couple of open chairs on it before sitting Ezra on top of the turnbuckle. He pats Ezra on the face, then runs up the turnbuckle, nearly falling off before he ragains his balance, springboards off and grabs Ezra around the neck. The two tumble off and anihillate the table, with Ezra taking the damage of both open chais and the table while Vain completes “The Money Maker” by violently bouncing off of the floor. The bounce carries him into the wall, which he richochets off of and collapses onto Ezra. Three seconds later Vain has another win…although he doesn’t look particularly “victorious.”
Winner: “Vain” Alan Wallace
Time: 19:59
~Commercial Break~
Triple Threat Match: Dave Rydell vs Larry Tact vs Lucy Wylde
All three competitors are in the ring and before the bell can finish ringing, Lucy is on the attack. She pummels Dave down to the mat and starts throwing fist after fist at him. Dave, still showing bruises from his fight at Chaos in Chelsea, rolls her over and starts doing the same. Larry is just standing back, watching these two beat the crap out of each other. Eventually, they get to a standing base and start throwing shot after shot at one another, seriously knocking each other for a loop. After a few more moments of this, and a smirk from Larry, he jumps in. He shoulder blocks Dave down and hits a back elbow to Lucy!
Larry grabs Lucy and sends her into the corner, but she comes out like a house of fire, immediately pummeling the #1 Contender! The brutality in her eyes tells the story. She grabs Larry and hurls him into the corner, with so much force, he slams into it and staggers out, right into a powerslam from Wylde. Dave is back and grabs Lucy from behind, by the hair, and slams her to the mat. He hits a vicious stomp on her head that was noticeably harder than normal. Lucy rolls away, holding her eye, and it looks like it’s already swelling! This enrages her. She gets up and lunges at Dave! He tries to hit a powerslam of his own but Lucy swings around and hits a reverse neckbreaker. Dave tries to get back up but gets a quick superkick to the face. And when I say face, I mean face. Dave went down and blood begins to gush from his nose! Lucy just broke Dave’s fucking nose!
Dave, obviously pissed about this, is now just as pissed as Lucy! He gets up and yells as he charges at her. He lunges for a spear, and she embraces it into a pummeling session! Dave has Lucy almost in a bear hug while she throws every fist she can at him! He keeps pushing, right into the corner!!! Dave starts hitting shoulder thrusts until eventually, Lucy breaks away from the fight and slumps down. She slowly staggers out of the corner and Dave quickly hits a Virus of Life! With her veteran skills, Lucy rolls out of the ring to the floor. Dave quickly turns his focus back to Larry, who is now back up!
The two lock up in the middle of the ring and Larry gets behind Dave! Back suplex from the #1 Contender! He goes for a cover but only gets 2. Dave, gets back up, bloody face and all. He grabs Larry but Larry breaks out and hits a judo throw. Dave slides through and charges. Drop toe hold from Larry! Dave lands right on his face! Larry picks Dave up and sets him up for Tactful Surrender but Dave breaks out and gets behind Larry and goes for a full nelson face buster! Larry battles out of it. Larry kicks Dave in the gut and follows up with a hard clothesline! Larry looks out to see Lucy still down on the floor below. He turns back to Dave, right into the After Shock! Larry counters out of it! Dave gets spun around! Larry goes for a high kick! Blocked by Rydell into a T-Bone suplex!
As Dave is measuring Larry for a Stomp, Lucy gets up from the ground at ringside. She is about to climb into the ring when she’s blindsided by Konrad!! Konrad rolls Lucy into the ring and follows. Dave notices for a second but turns back and goes to hit the Stomp on Larry and nails it! He goes for the cover, but the referee is distracted trying to get Konrad out of the fight. Dave gets up and starts yelling at Konrad and the referee but gets ignored. Konrad nails Lucy with the Burninator before Dave charges Konrad! He tackles Konrad out of the ring through the ropes and tries to get back in, but Konrad is back up and hurls Dave into the steel steps! Back in the ring Larry came to and grabs a rising Lucy for Starbreaker! He drops down and covers Lucy for the 3 count!
Winner: Larry Tact
Time: 13:02
~Commercial Break~
Cooperative Championship: Matt Knox and Montague Cervantes vs 'The Bogeyman' JC and Ragdoll
This goes about as well as one might expect, with both sides pulling stunts like double teaming across teams, refusing tags, and immediately tagging out when both legal competitors are friends.
At one point, Joe insists that he and Matt spar it out sportsmanlike, and Knox agrees. They shoot for a bit, chain wrestling, until Matt fumbles his one legged codebreaker, and JC is able to hit SCHISM.
He covers, but Cervantes makes the save, throwing thumbs up at Knox as he did back to their corner.
Joe begs Matt to tag Monty in, and Montague reaches for it. Matt obliges, but just as Joe is about to start lifting a boot, Ragdoll hits him from behind with MURDER SHE WROTE!!
A fed up Green prevents Monty from going for the pin, though, making the call that Jacky tagged herself in.
Jacky and Monty shrug, and are about to go to town when Knox jerks Ragdoll into the air, then hits her with INTO THE VOID.
Monty hadn't noticed, and was setting up SOC N BUSTIN. Without Jacky, he drops into a sit out facebuster. He stumbles into THE MERCY THE MURDER, but Jacky's bodyguards are on the apron, and Knox lets go to deal with that.
Ragdoll stirs, peering around to assess the situation. Getting an idea, she crawls over and covers her friend.
Green slides in and counts the three!
Jacky helps Monty to his feet, and grabs the belts. She hands one to Montague and they begin to jeer and hold them over the Suplex Cops.
Green steps in and takes Montague's belt away. The Showman shares a confused look with Ragdoll, and Green walks over to pull JC to his feet and hand him the belt. He declared Joe and Jacky the winners and new Cooperative Champions!
Winners: Ragdoll and JC
Time: 13:47
The ring erupts as all four competitors begin shouting and shoving, arguing with the ref about the result. It looks like mutiny and Sam is in trouble.
Daedalus comes out and announces that next week there will be a fatal fourway with all four of them, with the stipulation that whoever wins takes control of the Co-Op titles and selects their partner.
With that, we wrap up Synergy!
End Show