Keeper of the Keys 2023

[UGWC Staff]

Vinegar: Welcome, one and all, to Buffalo for Keeper of the Keys!

Covert Jay: Huttah!

Vinegar: It's a pivotal spot on the Road to Horizons, as tonight we will learn which of the four keyholders will control their own destiny at the biggest night of the year!

Lieberjosch: We've also got three massive title matches, great night ahead of us!

Covert Jay: Let's get things underway with triple threat action!

DING DING DING



Mitchell Dennis: The following contest is a triple threat match, and is scheduled for one fall!



Crowd: ONE FALL!

Feuer Frei by Rammstein plays over the sound system as Konrad comes out through the curtain with his flanged German mace with him, acting erratic with an angry look on his face, rising the flanged German mace in the air, wearing red and black skull face paint on the right side of his face with a red and black suit hoodie over his head he wears with pieces of flame blood designed all over them. He also has a penguin, walrus and a polar bear stitching on the left-hand side of his chest on his gear, stating Stop Climate Change. He also wears black boots along with Red and Black Gloves on his hands before he crouches down on the floor with the flanged German mace in front of him, looking at the ring with evil intentions.



Mitchell Dennis: “From Cologne, Germany, he is Burned In Blood, Konrad Raab!”



After the announcement, Konrad picks up his flanged German mace and slowly walks to the ring with a massive amount of boos before Konrad runs up the steps and goes underneath the ropes. As he's in the ring, Konrad without showing any sign of acknowledgement from the fans, lays the flanged German mace on the turnbuckle, then sits in the corner of the ring with the crowd booing him, having a nasty look in his eyes, flicking his fists as if he's already ready to fight, with ring staff taking Konrad's flanged German mace away, waiting for the match to start as he takes his hoodie off from his head.



Vinegar: Here is Konrad Raab. The first of our three competitors in this match.

The arena dims into darkness as Two Steps From Hell's Black Blade starts to play, echoing through the venue. The crowd hushes in anticipation. Suddenly, the entrance ramp is bathed in a dim, regal purple light. Smoke billows, and from the mist emerges Gideon Percival Thornfield, wearing an elaborate, aristocratic robe adorned with intricate patterns. He walks with calculated confidence, every step echoing authority and poise. At his side is his confidant, Oliver Neville, dressed impeccably and carrying a polished cane.]



Mitchell Dennis: Ladies and gentlemen, hailing from the opulent Thornfield Manor, standing at 6'2" and weighing in at 205 pounds... Gideon Percival Thornfield!



Gideon stops at the top of the ramp, surveying the arena with a disdainful yet composed expression. He slowly removes his robe, revealing his wrestling attire, while Oliver Neville stands by his side, ever watchful. Gideon descends the stairs with purpose, his eyes fixed on the ring. As he enters the ring, Gideon elegantly steps through the ropes, never breaking his gaze from his opponent.



Leiberjosch: Newcomer, Gideon Thornfield joined us just before last week’s Synergy, and was added to the card here tonight. Let’s see what he can do!

“You Know My Name” by Chris Cornell blares over the PA system. Pyros explode as the opening of the song and as if softens up, Travis Pierce makes his way down to the ring.



Mitchell Dennis: And their opponent, he is the Icon of Entertainment… Travis PIIIIEEEERRRRCCCEEEE!!!!!!



DING DING DING



We are underway as Konrad wastes no time going after Pierce, but Pierce isn’t that easy to get! He fires an elbow at Konrad’s head staggering him back.



Gideon gets right behind Konrad and lands a beautiful back suplex, taking the big man down. Gideon is back up but right into a clothesline from Travis!



Travis hits a stomp to the chest of the newcomer, followed by an elbow drop, and then a cover!



1… KICK OUT!



Travis pulls Gideon up and sends him into the corner, following up with a shoulder thrust to the gut. Gideon staggers out into a powerslam.



Travis is back up but turns to find his face connecting with Konrad’s boot! Konrad grabs Travis and hurls him through the ropes to the outside.



Konrad looks like a man possessed at this point! He grabs Gideon and hits a quick belly-to-belly suplex, sending the newcomer across the ring.



Konrad sliding down and into the cover but Gideon has his foot on the bottom rope! Incredible awareness.



Konrad grabs Gideon and pulls him to the middle of the ring. He lifts him up and stalls the suplex on Gideon. Out of nowhere, Travis is back in the ring and hits a crossbody on Konrad, bringing down both of his opponents!



Travis rolls away for a moment and stalks a rising Konrad. He charges at him and hits a leaping forearms smash! Travis quickly turns over towards Gideon, who’s rising up and lifts him on his shoulders. Could it be?!



Travis drops Gideon with Signing Off!!!!



Before Travis can cover though, Konrad is right there to hurl Travis to the outside again, through the ropes. Travis catches them this time and hangs on, pulling himself back up.



Konrad goes after Gideon but gets plowed into from behind by Travis!!! Travis grabs Konrad and hits a snap suplex, followed by a knee drop to the sternum!



Travis is back up and ready for more but gets slammed back down by Gideon!! Gideon is up and stomps on Travis’ head, keeping him down for now. He looks over at a rising Konrad and pulls him up into Mindbreaker!!!!



Konrad counters out of it! He flings Gideon across the ring and rushes at him as he gets up! Konrad leaps and clotheslines him but they both go over the top rope and spill to ringside.



Konrad; slow to his feet; grabs Gideon and whips him into the steel steps! He grabs Gideon once more and sends him into the barricade. Hoping to inflict as much damage as he can, Konrad grabs Gideon’s head and slams it off the top of the barricade.



Konrad grabs Gideon and rolls him back into the ring. As Konrad goes to climb back in, he’s met with a baseball slide from Travis!!! Travis goes to the outside and hits a running neckbreaker on Konrad!



Travis quickly goes back inside the ring and goes to grab Gideon, but Gideon rolls Travis up with a small package!



1…



2…



KICK OUT!



Gideon almost stole that one from Travis by playing opossum and what a win that would be for our newest roster addition!



Travis looks stunned as he gets some separate! He clashes with Gideon in the middle of the ring but gets behind the newcomer and locks in a sleeper hold.



Gideon has the referee’s attention but swiftly swings a foot back, low blowing Travis Pierce!!! Travis just went down like a sack of potatoes!



Gideon grabs Travis and tries to lock in Thornfield’s Trap!!! And he does!!!



Within a few seconds, Konrad is back in the ring and breaks the hold, saving the match from a Gideon Thornfield win.



Konrad grabs Gideon and pulls him right into The Burninator!!!! Konrad goes for the cover!



1…



2…



Thr-BROKEN BY TRAVIS PIERCE!!!!!!!!



Travis barely broke the count!!!



Konrad is back up and grabs Travis and sets him up for the Flaming Driver!!!



Travis counters out of it and Konrad lands on his back. As he gets up, he turns, right into The Truth Hurts!!!!!!!!!!



Before Travis can cover, Gideon is right back up and grabs Travis, hitting a quick German Suplex!! All three men are down in the ring!



Gideon is the first one to stir, followed by both Travis and Konrad. All three men start throwing hands with each other. Lefts and rights between them all!!!



Travis gets staggered by Gideon. Gideon runs and pushes Travis through the ropes to the outside.



Gideon backs up but Konrad grabs him and hits The Burn Pin!!!!!!



1!!!!



2!!!!



3!!!!



DING DING DING



Mitchell Dennis: Here is your winner, Konraaaddddd RRAAAAABBBBBBBB!!!!!

[UGWC Staff]

Vinegar: We're in for a thrilling contest between a somewhat reluctant Chaos Champion, Lucy Wylde, and the determined challenger, The Avenger!

The lights go out as Bonnie Tyler's "Holding Out For A Hero" begins to play, with spotlights searching the rafters for the hero.

Where have all the good men gone
And where are all the gods?
Where's the street-wise Hercules
To fight the rising odds?

Finally every light converges onto the ramp, and the color turns to green with the symbol of the Avenger appearing on the video wall.

Isn't there a white knight upon a fiery steed?
Late at night I toss and I turn, I dream of what I need

Right as Bonnie says, "I need a hero!", The Avenger races out on a stylish green and black motorcycle, with his logo plastered on the front. He circles the ring with it, passing by the announce tables and fans, before parking it back on the ramp and hopping off. He then leaps up on to the apron and darts up the turnbuckle, holding out a big thumbs up for the audience before jumping back into the ring to prepare for his match.

The arena goes black. The opening chords of "Undead" by Hollywood Undead blare over the Arena PA system. One by one, spotlights around the arena begin fading in and out, alternating between a bright white and deep purple tones. As the bass line kicks into its highly recognized bone jarring chorus the spotlights sync their flashing with the rhythm. Suddenly the spotlights all turn at once, illuminating the stage in a brilliant flash and a radiating glow. Lucy Wylde steps out from behind the curtain onto center stage just as the crowd begins to cheer and sing along with the song...

UNDEAD!!!!!

UNDEAD!!!!!

UNDEAD!!!!!

UNDEAD!!!!!

As the verse begins, Lucy begins walking towards the ring, a big smile on her face as she moves from side to side along the aisle - slapping the hands of the fans as she goes. She gets to ringside and runs up the ring steps, climbing into the ring and ascending the far turnbuckle, raising her arms into the air. She pulls a pair of fingerless leather gloves from her back pocket and puts them on, one by one. Her music begins to fade into the background of the cheers of the fans. Once both gloves are tight, she clenches both fists and jumps down from the turnbuckle, awaiting the opening bell.

Lieberjosch: Avenger is stepping into the lion's den tonight, and you can see the nervousness in his eyes.

Covert Jay: This is better than a cheeseburger at a hotdog stand, folks!

Vinegar: The bell rings, and we're underway!

Lieberjosch: Lucy and Avenger circle each other, and the tension in the air is palpable.

Vinegar: Lucy attempts a spear, but Avenger dodges!

Lieberjosch: Avenger counters with a leg sweep, sending Lucy down to the mat.

Vinegar: He's trying to ground her early, but she's rolling out of the ring!

Covert Jay: Oh, did you see that? Lucy just pulled a steel chair from under the ring!

Vinegar: Avenger steps out on the apron, and Lucy's swinging for the fences!

Lieberjosch: Avenger narrowly avoids it.

Vinegar: Avenger manages to disarm Lucy and throws the chair to the side.

Lieberjosch: He's showing remarkable restraint in not using it against her.

Vinegar: Lucy drags Vengy from the apron and she transitions into a dragon sleeper with body scissors! Avenger's struggling for breath!

Covert Jay: Avenger's in trouble, but he's a scrappy fighter.

Lieberjosch: He reverses it into a standing shiranui!

Vinegar: Beautiful execution, and Lucy crashes to the floor.

Covert Jay: This match is like a rollercoaster in a haunted amusement park!

Lieberjosch: I know I’m going to regret this, but… how so?

Covert Jay: Full of scary twists and turns!

Vinegar: Avenger's climbing the ropes, and he's going for the double foot stomp off the top rope to the outside!

Lieberjosch: Lucy rolls away at the last second! What a close call!

Vinegar: Lucy's back on her feet, and she's got that steel chair again.

Lieberjosch: She's ready to strike, but Avenger uses a springboard flying uppercut to knock it out of her hands!

Vinegar: Lucy and Avenger are now brawling their way out of the ring area and into the crowd!

Lieberjosch: This match has turned into a mess, as usual, as our competitors are making their way through the audience instead of conducting themselves in the ring where they belong.

Covert Jay: It's like a crazy scavenger hunt! Where will they go next?

Vinegar: Avenger with a suicide dive through the barricade!

Lieberjosch: Lucy's down again, and this idiot crowd's going wild!

Vinegar: Avenger's now using a release suplex to throw Lucy back towards the ring.

Lieberjosch: At least he's trying to get the match back into the squared circle.

Vinegar: Lucy's in a daze, but she suddenly counters with a Nightmare Sleeper!

Lieberjosch: Avenger's struggling to escape, but he's caught in Lucy's clutches!

Covert Jay: He’s fading, and Hazel is rushing in to check on him.

Vinegar: This could be it…

Covert Jay: Wait, what's this?

Lieberjosch: It's a sudden forearm smash from Avenger, and another!

Vinegar: He breaks free!

Lieberjosch: Both competitors are down, but this is anyone's match!

Vinegar: Slowly they each get back to their feet, only pausing briefly before running at each other again.

Lieberjosch: They’re trading blows in a blur, and they're making their way up the ramp!

Vinegar: This match has spilled into the backstage area of the Keybank Center!

Covert Jay: It's dark, it's chaotic, and it's all on the line.

Lieberjosch: Avenger with a Chokeslam in the gorilla area!

Covert Jay: The concrete floor trembles under the impact. He's looking to end this!

Vinegar: There’s a pin from Avenger!

One!!!







Two!!







Lieberjosch: Lucy kicks out!

Vinegar: As disappointing as that was for him, Vengy seems much more confident than when this match started.

Covert Jay: But Lucy's still fighting back, connecting with a Meteor Strike!

Lieberjosch: The impact echoes through the corridors, and it’s the champion’s turn to cover!


One!!







Two!!









Covert Jay: Vengy kicks out!

Vinegar: This is incredible! Avenger and Lucy are taking us on a journey throughout the entire arena.

Lieberjosch: It's a testament to the nonsense of this division. No wonder Lucy was reluctant.

Covert Jay: It's a tornado of action, a whirlwind of chaos, and I just can't contain my excitement!

Vinegar: They’ve entered the catering area now.

Lieberjosch: Avenger's still moronically trying to stay away from the weapons, but Lucy's relentless!

Vinegar: She's picked up a steel tray from the catering table and smacks it right across Avenger's back!

Covert Jay: The snacks have become weapons! This match is a feast for the eyes, and Lucy's determined to serve up some pain!

Lieberjosch: Please let me go deaf…

Vinegar: Avenger, showing remarkable resilience, stumbles towards the medical area, seeking some reprieve.

Lieberjosch: There's no safe haven in this match! Lucy's close behind, and she grabs a crutch that’s propped against a wall.

Vinegar: She swings the crutch like a baseball bat, connecting with Avenger's shoulder!

Covert Jay: The Chaos Champion has turned this into a twisted treasure hunt!

Lieberjosch: Lucy's found a steel clothing rack in the fan meet and greet area, and she's smashing it over Avenger's back.

Covert Jay: Merchandise tables are flying as Vengy tries to escape!

Vinegar: They've made their way to the loading docks now, and it's a dangerous place to fight.

Lieberjosch: Lucy's got a trash can lid in hand, and she takes a brutal shot to Avenger's head, only for him to duck under!

Vinegar: He leaps off the dock and rushes into the darkness outside!

Lieberjosch: Another camera finds Avenger making his way towards the parking lot.

Vinegar: Lucy's in pursuit, and she's not giving him a moment's rest. This is turning into a battle for survival!

Covert Jay: Lucy has Avenger cornered against a car!

Lieberjosch: He counters an attack, nailing a vicious DDT onto the car's hood!

Vinegar: Avenger's struggling to his feet, but Lucy's grabbed one of the windshield wipers from the car and ripped it off.

Lieberjosch: Avenger pleads with Lucy not to use the weapon, stepping back and allowing her to rise to her feet.

Vinegar: She hesitates… she's torn between victory and honor.

Covert Jay: Lucy drops the windshield wiper! She's had a change of heart!

Vinegar: The crowd is in awe of Lucy's decision, and Avenger nods with respect.

Lieberjosch: It seems like there's a new understanding between–

Covert Jay: WYLDE LIBERATION ONTO THE HOOD OF THE CAR!

Vinegar: Dirty…

Lieberjosch: How is it dirty? She didn’t use a weapon!

Covert Jay: Lucy with the cover!

One!!!










Two!!!














The–no!!

Vinegar: In a moment of desperation, Vengy managed to reach over and grip the wheel well of the car and pull himself out from under Lucy!!

Lieberjosch: He hurries to pull himself back up to a vertical base as Lucy stands up on the hood and launches herself off!

Covert Jay: SUPERHERO KICK!!

Vinegar: Oh! In a moment of desperation, Vengy halt’s Lucy’s attack and sends her collapsing against the front tire.

Lieberjosch: He sees his opening and scrambles up onto the roof of the car…

Covert Jay: SUPERHERO LANDING!

Vinegar: Vengy with the cover!



One!!!













Two!!!













THREE!!!

Dennis: Your winner, AND NEWWWW UGWC CHAOS CHAMPION: THE AVVVVVVVVVVENGER!!!

Vinegar: OH MY GOD!!

Lieberjosch: I can’t believe what I’ve just seen.

Vinegar: Shades of the Avenger we saw at Wrestlestock coming through in the clutch!

[UGWC Staff]

Vinegar: It’s time for the Conquest Championship match, and this match has tremendous consequences!

Lieberjosch: It’s true, Nicholas. If young Ezra Wolf wins, he’ll have successfully defended the Conquest Championship FIVE TIMES, which is a task that only Gabriel Baal, Centurion, Rogan MacLean, Lucy Wylde, and Ken Davison have done! If he wins tonight, he will not only etch his name in the history books for this victory but also for his next title match!

Vinegar: Absolutely, Hans! If Ezra Wolf wins tonight and completes his five defenses, he’ll go on to challenge for the World Title in two weeks time, and will face either current World Champion Sebastian Everett-Bryce or potential World Champion, Larry Tact! That match will be decided in a Ladder Match later tonight!

Lieberjosch: Young Ezra has quite the uphill challenge ahead of him as he faces a legend of UGWC history, the seven-time Cross-Hemisphere Champion, the man who has held it for the longest at almost six-hundred days over the course of his runs with it, and Deimos is a two-time UGWC World Champion himself!

Vinegar: He is. Ezra will have his hands full tonight.

Lieberjosch: Let’s go to Mitchell Dennis for the introductions!!

Dennis: Ladies and gentlemen, this match is for ONE FALL and is for the CONQUEST CHAMPIONSHIP!! If the champion, Ezra Wolf is victorious tonight, he will meet the mandatory five-victory limit and vacate the championship, after which he’ll go on to challenge for the WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP!!

Covert Jay: It’s such a big deal!

Dennis: Introducing first...



Deimos appears on the ramp and walks down to the ring, all business. He seems to have tuned out everyone and everything around him as he focuses on the monumental task he has ahead of him. Once he gets to the ring, Referee Sam Green checks him and he goes to his corner so Mitchell can finish his introduction.

Dennis: Standing in tonight at five feet, eleven inches tall, and weighing two hundred and twenty pounds, he is a former seven-time Cross-Hemisphere Champion and a two-time World Champion. Ladies and gentlemen, he is the face of FEAR…PHRIXUUUUUUUUS DEEEEEIMOOOOOOSSSSSS!!!

Vinegar: This is the most ready I’ve seen Deimos in a long time. This match is absolutely the most important thing in the world to him right now.

Lieberjosch: He’s defending the honor of the company and the business from someone he feels is an unappreciative and undeserving upstart.

Vinegar: It’s not his place to decide who deserves what.

Lieberjosch: He begs to differ.

Vinegar: He’s wrong.

Covert Jay: Let’s go back to the ring!

Dennis: Introducing the CHAMPION!!!



Ezra Wolf makes his way out of the curtain as ‘California Love’ by A Joker’s Rage comes blaring out of the speakers and pauses at the top of the ramp. He heads towards the ring, slapping hands and singing along to his entrance music. He walks up the stairs and hops onto the apron before stepping up onto the middle turnbuckle. He pauses to play the air guitar a bit before stepping on the top rope and jumping into the ring. As he lands, he rolls forward and ends up on one knee in the center of the ring. Ezra throws his arms and head back, letting out a primal scream before tearing off his entrance gear. He hands it to the ring attendant then takes a knee in his corner as he waits for Sam Green to do his pre-match check.

Dennis: Standing in today at six feet, three inches tall, and weighing in at two hundred and twenty-five pounds, he hails from West Hollywood, California, and is the REIGNING and DEFENDING Conquest Champion. Ladies and gentlemen, he is EZZZZRAAAAA WOOOOLFFFFF!!!!

Vinegar: Sam calls for the bell and...

Covert Jay: Whoa!

Lieberjosch: That’ll certainly set the tone.

Vinegar: Deimos starts the match with a good old-fashioned smack in the face, catching Ezra completely off guard.

Lieberjosch: Paybacks a bitch, man. Phrixus has been very loud about how he sees Ezra as the poster boy of everything that’s wrong with UGWC, and wrestling as a whole. He just let Ezra know that his path to defense number five isn’t going to come easily.

Vinegar: I doubt that Ezra is going into this believing that it was going to be.

Lieberjosch: Deimos said how scarred he feels by his failure to capture this very championship from Ezra the last time they fought for it when it was vacant. He also said that he feels that Ezra is trying to eclipse Ezekiel, which Deimos feels to be supremely disrespectful.

Vinegar: Deimos, and a lot of the veterans, seem to feel like any new talent here is somehow a threat to them and the legacy of the company. I know Deimos well enough to know that he won’t let that get in his way against Ezra, but he doesn’t normally show…emotion like this.

Lieberjosch: He’s letting the kid know what’s up.

Covert Jay: Deimos was up...after Ezra suplexed him out of the ring because of that slap.

Vinegar: It’s been all Ezra since then. Deimos hasn’t had a chance to get a move-in as Ezra’s been alternating between suplexing and kicking him.

Lieberjosch: Ezra knew he couldn’t win without taking a cheap shot.

Vinegar: Ezra? I don’t know if you were paying attention or not, but Deimos began the match with a cheap shot, not Ezra.

Lieberjosch: That wasn’t a “cheap shot,” it was a warning.

Vinegar: It was a cheap shot and Ezra is making him pay for it.

Lieberjosch: He can’t win if Deimos is outside of the ring.

Covert Jay: Yeah! DUH!

Lieberjosch: Settle down, moron.

Vinegar: Ezra throws Deimos into the corner and runs in, driving a vicious kick into his face. He jams a forarm under Deimos chin and begins to pummel him in the side of his head with forearms strikes.

Lieberjosch: Get in there, Green! Those are dirty!

Vinegar: They’re not, and Sam is already counting Ezra from the corner. Ezra breaks at four, and leaps!

Covert Jay: Noice!!

Lieberjosch: That was almost impressive given the lack of space he had.

Vinegar: Ezra executes a beautiful standing hurricanrana, and sends Deimos sprawling into the mat. He explodes from the corner and catches a rising Deimos with a knee to the face, which sends him back to the mat. Ezra jumps into the mount and begins to lay in a barrage of palm strikes.

Covert Jay: Switcheroo!

Lieberjosch: Showing his veteran experience and wrestling brilliance, Deimos reverses his slaps into an armbar after catching Ezra with a headbutt to the chest!

Vinegar: It was a good move. We know that Deimos is far too cool-headed and experienced to lose his composure over what’s happened so far.

Lieberjosch: The kid has nowhere to go!

Vinegar: He’s not in a good spot right now. Deimos has him positioned perfectly.

Lieberjosch: Deimos is also wisely using his legs to keep Ezra down.

Vinegar: Repeated kicks to the face will do that.

Lieberjosch: Indeed they will.

Vinegar: Deimos pulls Ezra up by his arm and drops into a kneeling arm breaker, then pops up and takes him back down with a wristlock takedown. He holds the wrist lock in place and uses it to pin Ezra face-first against the mat, delivering a few kicks to the side of his head for good measure.

Lieberjosch: He’s going to focus on Ezra’s arms and legs. He doesn’t really have to worry about grounding him because he’s not a big high-flier other than “Gravity Falls.”

Covert Jay: Ouch! That was vicious!

Vinegar: Deimos takes the arm he has trapped and falls to the side over Ezra, violently wrenching it. Ezra howls in pain and Deimos stands up, he twists the wrist into a more controllable position and does it again!

Lieberjosch: He’s smart. Deimos knows that if he can neutralize even one of Ezra’s arms, executing that back elbow finisher he does, as well as a lot of his normal moves will be impossible. A weakened opponent is a far more beatable opponent.

Vinegar: Deimos drags Ezra to his feet and over to the ropes. Ezra fights back, but Deimos punches him in the stomach, doubling him over. Deimos drapes Ezra’s arm over the top rope and steps out, then grabs him by the wrist and leaps down to the floor, snapping his arm over it.

Covert Jay: Ezra’s lucky if that didn’t dislocate it!

Lieberjosch: That’s entirely possible, and maybe what Fear has in mind.

Vinegar: I would hope that Deimos wouldn’t want to genuinely injure Ezra.

Lieberjosch: If your aim is to send a message, putting the person who earns a World Championship match, and is possibly the de facto symbol of the new generation, on the shelf, is the best way to do it.

Vinegar: It’s unnecessary. Injuring Ezra because he doesn’t accept that the next generation is here and extremely talented is just petty.

Lieberjosch: Whatever works.

Covert Jay: Phrix is back in the ring and takes Ezra back to the mat!

Lieberjosch: That was a beautiful running neckbreaker.

Vinegar: Deimos has shown his fundamental soundness and tactical thinking, something that I don’t think anyone has ever doubted of him. I find it interesting though that there are those on this roster who’ve been here for over a decade who he lumps into the “undeserving” category and perhaps lumps them in with the new people simply because he doesn’t personally like them.

Lieberjosch: Nice dropkick by Deimos. Listen, Deimos doesn’t claim to be perfect. The people he talks about like that are people who he feels don’t show the proper respect to the business and its traditions.

Vinegar: It’s more that they don’t fit his definition of what a “wrestler” is. That’s really all it is. It’s arrogant judgment.

Lieberjosch: When you’re a record-holding champion and a future hall of famer, you can do that.

Vinegar: I think that’s a cop-out.

Covert Jay: Thankfully there aren’t any cops out right now.

Lieberjosch: Oh my god…

Vinegar: Deimos wraps Ezra’s arm through his leg and drops to the mat, squashing it between them. Once again Ezra howls in pain and tries to pull himself to the ropes. Deimos heads him off with a kick between the shoulders, then drags him back to the middle of the ring. He pulls him up for a neckbreaker.

Covert Jay: Ezra slips out!

Vinegar: Dropkick to the back of Deimos head! He stumbles into the ropes and bounces off, spinning around as he stumbles back toward the middle!

Covert Jay: Interceptor spear!!

Vinegar: Ezra’s managed to stop Deimos' momentum, dead, but he’s not any better off than he was as both of them are down!

Lieberjosch: We’ll see if it makes any difference.

Covert Jay: Sam is doing the count!

Lieberjosch: “Performing,” “making,” and “executing” would all be better words than “doing.”

Vinegar: Relax, Hans. This isn’t an English class.

Lieberjosch: We are judged by the quality of our speech.

Covert Jay: You’re such a stuffed shirt.

Lieberjosch: Go fuck yourself.

Vinegar: “Quality of our speech,” indeed, Hans.

Lieberjosch: It slipped.

Vinegar: It certainly did.

Lieberjosch: It’s Jay’s fault.

Vinegar: Sure it is. In the meantime, Ezra has broken the count with the assistance of the ropes.

Lieberjosch: Deimos is back up too. I knew that wouldn’t keep him down for long.

Vinegar: I’m sure it’ll change his night knowing that you’re his personal cheerleader.

Lieberjosch: I don’t appreciate your mockery.

Vinegar: Tough. You’re a big boy. Get over it.

Covert Jay: Ezra’s moved back in on Deimos!

Vinegar: He’s trapped Deimos’ head and is driving Mui Thai knees into his ribs. Deimos manages to block a few of them.

Covert Jay: He shoved Ezra away!

Vinegar: Ezra staggers back...

Covert Jay: Huge thrust kick!

Lieberjosch: Luck. He literally stumbled into it.

Vinegar: It knocked Deimos back.

Lieberjosch: Yeah, into the ropes.

Covert Jay: Double clothesline!

Vinegar: Both men are down!

Lieberjosch: Sam begins the count.

Covert Jay: Could we see a double countout?

Green: TWO!!

Lieberjosch: Perish the thought. That would be a terrible ending!

Green: THREE!!!

Vinegar: Both are moving, but neither is up yet.

Green: FOUR!!!!

Lieberjosch: If Fear is up first, I think he has this in the bag.

Green: FIVE!!!!!

Vinegar: Deimos gets to his knees as Ezra

Covert Jay: NINJAAAA!!!

Green: SEVEN!!!!!!!

Vinegar: Thanks, Jay. Ezra kips up and the count stops. He grabs Deimos to pull him up!

Covert Jay: ROLLUP OF DOOM!!!

Lieberjosch: Brilliant!

Vinegar: It even caught Sam by surprise!

Covert Jay: Ezra kicks out!

Lieberjosch: Yeah, after a very long two-count!

Vinegar: Both men are up. Ezra takes a wild swing at Deimos, who ducks under it and attempts a neckbreaker, but Ezra slips out of the attempt, attempting a dropkick that Deimos swats away!

Lieberjosch: Deimos goes for a kick to Ezra’s head!

Vinegar: Ezra avoids it with a backward roll, then attempts a leaping DDT, but Deimos throws him off. Deimos goes for a facebuster, but Ezra powers him up and attempts an Alabama Slam!

Covert Jay: NIGHTMARE NINJA!!

Lieberjosch: Impressive, and unexpected!

Vinegar: Deimos manages to rotate through it and somehow land on his hands. He twists his hips and goes for a head scissors takeover, but Ezra does some gymnastics of his own and lands on his feet, leaving the two men staring at each other.

Lieberjosch: The fans show their appreciation with an understandable round of applause.

Covert Jay: That was pretty awesome!

Lieberjosch: I didn’t think Ezra had those kinds of chain wrestling chops, irrespective of who his mentors were.

Vinegar: He learned a lot more than many gave him credit for. Ezra nods his head in appreciation and tries to show respect to Deimos, but he grabs Ezra’s hand and pulls him into a side headlock.

Lieberjosch: Damn!

Covert Jay: Wow!!

Vinegar: Ezra countered it by letting him, then powers Deimos over into a bridging German suplex! Sam leaps down to make the count!

Lieberjosch: It took Deimos completely by surprise!

Covert Jay: Sam counts two!

Lieberjosch: Kickout by Deimos, who rolls away and out to the floor for a bit of restrategizing!

Vinegar: While I doubt that Deimos underestimated Wolf, that counter seemed to have taken him completely by surprise!

Covert Jay: Ezra runs like the wind!

Vinegar: Plancha through the ropes! He drills Deimos into the wall, then leaps up and rolls Deimos back into the ring! He climbs the turnbuckle and looks down at his opponent!

Lieberjosch: I sense a mistake coming.

Covert Jay: I sense a burrito coming.

Lieberjosch: No one cares about your lunch, Jay.

Vinegar: Deimos gets to his feet and turns toward Ezra, who leaps!

Covert Jay: Fly!!

Vinegar: Ezra crashes down onto Ezra with a flying crossbody, flattening him into the canvas.

Covert Jay: He landed so hard that they bounced!

Lieberjosch: Through the landing! Deimos is back up!

Vinegar: “The Numbing”! He crawls on top of Ezra and hooks his leg!

Covert Jay: Green with the count!

Lieberjosch: One!


Covert Jay: Two!!



Vinegar: Thre... Ezra kicks out! Deimos hauls him to his feet!

Covert Jay: Neckbreakahhhh!!!!

Lieberjosch: Relax, Jay.

Vinegar: He rolls Ezra over...

Lieberjosch: Millennial Decay!!

Vinegar: Deimos has turned this around in a hurry, and Ezra finds himself in an extremely precarious situation.

Covert Jay: I don’t know how he gets out of it.

Lieberjosch: He doesn’t. He should show respect to the better generation and tap out. Put that championship in the hands of someone deserving.

Vinegar: “Just let the veteran beat you because” is an insult to the championship.

Lieberjosch: So’s his reign.

Vinegar: He might be our next World Champion.

Lieberjosch: I don’t see him or anyone else taking the World Championship from Seb. He’s just too unbeatable right now.

Vinegar: You know as well as I do that such runs eventually end. Moss’ legendary run with the Cross-Hemisphere Championship ended, as did Travis Roberts' run as World Champion.

Lieberjosch: Seb’s not them.

Vinegar: That’s true. That doesn’t make him invincible.

Covert Jay: It looks like Ezra’s fading!

Lieberjosch: I told you so!

Vinegar: Sam grabs Ezra’s arm and lifts it up!

Lieberjosch: It dropped! Two more of those and that’s all she wrote!

Covert Jay: It fell again!

Lieberjosch: The show is over, go on without him!

Vinegar: You know that’s a song about death, right?

Lieberjosch: This is close enough. It’ll be the death of his run.

Covert Jay: Not yet!

Vinegar: Ezra’s hand jerks back up and he grabs Deimos by the wrist, catching him by surprise. He pushes himself slowly to his feet, using his greater size and strength to push himself to the ropes and pull himself up with them.

Covert Jay: Holy crap!

Lieberjosch: The kid is nuts! He could’ve injured Deimos!

Vinegar: Throwing himself over the top rope with Deimos on his back and landing on him was risky, but it seems to have worked!

Lieberjosch: Bouncing Deimos off of the apron back first helped.

Covert Jay: Did you hear the thud he made?

Vinegar: I doubt it felt good when he hit it with over two hundred pounds of Ezra on top of him!

Covert Jay: Neither one is moving!

Vinegar: Sam slides from the ring to check on them, then starts the count!

Sam: One!

Lieberjosch: I’d be amazed if it doesn’t end up as a double count out after that crash!

Sam: Two!!

Vinegar: They’re both motionless.

Sam: Three!!!

Lieberjosch: I’ll give the kid credit, he’s absolutely fearless. Maybe a bit stupid, but fearless.

Sam: Four!!!!

Vinegar: He’s not stupid. As much as he’s wanted to separate himself from Zeke after that debacle with Zane Scott, Zeke is a major part of who he is and was, and his style in the ring is such a reflection of that.

Sam: Five!!!!!

Lieberjosch: I'm not arguing that. Zeke is a legend and Ezra is who he is because of Zeke. I just don’t think that this reckless style is going to help him.

Sam: Six!!!!!!

Vinegar: “Reckless?” He was trapped in Deimos' finishing move! He had to do something to get out of it.

Sam: Seven!!!!!!!

Covert Jay: Deimos is partially up!

Sam: Eight!!!!!!!!

Lieberjosch: So’s Ezra!!

Sam: Nine!!!!!!!!!

Vinegar: Both men slide into the ring right as Sam would’ve hit ten, breaking the count!

Covert Jay: They’re both down again!

Lieberjosch: Deimos is clearly in immense pain from that doubly painful landing.

Vinegar: It didn’t do either man any favors, and Ezra looks like he’s still feeling that aftermath of “Millennial Decay!”

Lieberjosch: It’s a dangerous and deadly move.

Covert Jay: They’re both up and running at each other!

Vinegar: Both throw their feet at the other simultaneously!

Covert Jay: Deimos doubles over in pain at the last second!

Lieberjosch: He’s grabbing at his ribs, but his sudden change of movement caused Zeke to overshoot him!

Covert Jay: Deimos grabs him from behind!

Vinegar: A second “Numbing!” Ezra lands really hard and Demios uses his prone body to push himself up! He walks over and steps through the ropes.

Lieberjosch: This is brave. If he’s successful, he wins.

Vinegar: We’ll see.

Covert Jay: Did he just...mock Wolf?

Lieberjosch: He did.

Vinegar: Deimos leaps!

Lieberjosch: At least they’re sort of even for the ring apron now.

Vinegar: Deimos flattens Wolf with “Fainting,” then gets up and ascends to the top again!

Covert Jay: Risky!

Lieberjosch: It’s brave. Deimos is risking it all to defend the honor of UGWC!

Vinegar: You sound like his hype man. When Ezra went up there, you derided him for it.

Lieberjosch: That’s different.

Vinegar: How?

Lieberjosch: Well…

Vinegar: I’m waiting.

Covert Jay: He’s back up top again! Deimos leaps!

Lieberjosch: Meteor Press!!

Vinegar: NO!! Ezra gets his knees up and Deimos slams into them!

Lieberjosch: Damn that cheating little bastard!

Covert Jay: He didn’t cheat, Doc. He outsmarted ya boy.

Lieberjosch: Shut up!

Vinegar: Kickin' it Old School!

Covert Jay: Cactus Driver!!

Lieberjosch: Damn it!

Covert Jay: That’s not one of Ezra’s moves!

Lieberjosch: GAH!!

Vinegar: Point Break!

Covert Jay: Deimos is back to his knees again!

Lieberjosch: Blindspot! Deimos goes down!

Vinegar: Ezra uses his burst of adrenaline to leap up onto the turnbuckle!

Covert Jay: Here he goes!

Vinegar: Gravity Falls! He grabs Deimos' leg for the pin!

Covert Jay: One!


Lieberjosch: Two!!


Vinegar: THE...HOLY SHIT!!

Lieberjosch: Nicky, take a breath!

Vinegar: Deimos kicks out!! Ezra collapses to the mat exhausted.

Covert Jay: Do you hear that? The fans are chanting his name!

Vinegar: I do, and it appears to be working! Ezra gets back up and points at the turnbuckle again!

Covert Jay: The fans roar their approval!

Lieberjosch: Idiots.

Vinegar: Ezra leaps up onto the turnbuckle and signals to the crowd! HE LEAPS!!!

Covert Jay: GRAVITY FALLS!!!

Vinegar: He hooks Deimos leg again! Same leaps into position for the count!

Lieberjosch: ONE!


Vinegar: TWO!!


Lieberjosch: THREE!!! NOOOOOOOO!!!!

Vinegar: Ezra Wolf has DONE IT!! He’s completed five SUCCESSFUL Conquest Championship defenses and will face the World Champion, be it Sebastian Everett-Bryce or Larry Tact in two weeks!

Covert Jay: Unbelievable!

Lieberjosch: You can say that again.

Vinegar: Oh stop your whining.

Mitchell Dennis: Ladies and gentlemen, the WINNINER of this match and STILL Conquest Champion, having completed five successful defenses to face the World Champion, EZRAAAAAAAAA WOOOOOLLLLLLFFFFF!!!

[UGWC Staff]

Vinegar: Tremendous action here tonight at Keeper of the Keys, and it is time now for the first of two main events!

Covert Jay: We saw a banger of a match between two ninja warriors for the World Heavyweight Title at Massive Melee, and tonight they face off again!

Mitchell Dennis: The following contest is a LADDER MATCH for the UGWC WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP!!!

“In the Face of Evil” by Magic Sword over the arena speakers as the lights cut out. Red and white lights scan the crowd before all the lights cut out. A single crimson spotlight shines down on Larry Tact at the top of the entrance stage. He opens his arms and puffs out his chest, soaking in the crowd’s reaction before bellowing and making his way down the ramp, the spotlight following him. As he walks, Larry critiques some fans at ringside with petty insults before arriving at the ring. He pulls himself up using the ropes and walks slowly along the apron before wiping his boots and entering the ring as the house light come back on. He stretches using the ropes, smoothes back his hair and bounces from side-to-side, zeroed in on the battle ahead.

Mitchell Dennis: Introducing first, the challenger, LARRRYYYYY TAAACCCCCCTTTTTT!!!

Vinegar: Larry Tact took the World Champion to the limit in their match at the Massive Melee, will we see a different result here tonight?

Lieberjosch: This match is the culmination of a journey that started when Larry Tact won this year’s WrestleStock Cup, and followed it up by earning the number one contendership the same night that Seb won the World Title, at Chaos in Chelsea.

Covert Jay: The last time the World Title was on the line in a Ladder Match was at Horizons in 2018, when ‘Vain’ Alan Wallace defended against Kem Dynamo.

The lights in the arena dip to black in time with the sirens and beat to the opening of Sweatpants (BattleTapes Remix) by Childish Gambino, the lights then beginning to flash, alternating left and right onto the ramp. In time, the letters "S", "E", "B", and then "Empire" flash one at a time on the big screen until the lights stop flashing as the lyrics hit.

"She askin' “Why you say that?!”

The beat drops and the lights flash on the rampway again. As they do, the screen illuminates with "SEB" and then "EMPIRE" flashing on the sceen.

"Rich kid asshole, paint me as a villain"

Sebastian Everett-Bryce flings his arms wide, staring up with his head covered by the hood of his jacket. He stands in the middle of the ramp, the lights beating down on him, before looking out at the crowd. He wears a long jacket with the hood pulled up over his head, zipped to the waist. The jacket, which is cut away at the bottom and only runs down the back of his legs, is patterned with an elongated Union Flag, but it’s in black and white and appears to be cracked and broken. His tights are short, with the initials SEB emblazoned upon the front.

The lights lift, and SEB makes his way to the ring, stretching his neck from side to side as he walks, his eyes focused on the ring. He climbs up the steps and steps through the ropes before standing in the middle of the ring.

"I'm winnin', yeah, yeah, I'm winnin' (What?)
Rich kid, asshole, paint me as a villain"

He extends his arms once more before pulling back his hood and removing his jacket to reveal the back of his tights which read “S.E.B”

"Don't be mad cause I'm doing me better than you doing you
Better than you doing you, fuck it, what you gon' do? (What?!)"

He flashes his arms out to a side, a satisfied and somewhat sneery grin upon his face, he holds the position for a moment, to allow the crowd to take pictures, before moving towards his corner.

Mitchell Dennis: And his opponent, he is the reigning AND defending World Heavyweight Champion, the Mauler of Markham Square, SEBASSTIANN EVERRETTTTT BRRRRRYYYCCCEEEE!!!!

Vinegar: Sebastian Everett-Bryce had a record-setting championship reign with the Chaos Title, one that had him defend in a variety of settings, but never in a Ladder Match.

Covert Jay: Not only that, but Seb has never competed in a Ladder Match in UGWC at all.

Lieberjosch: And you might think that bringing ladders into play still works to Seb’s benefit given his Chaos experience, but you can’t discount the dominance of Larry Tact as Power Champion during his time in Level Up Wrestling.

DING DING!!!

Vinegar: We are underway as the competitors grapple in the ring, and Seb cuts behind Tact and goes for a suplex, but Tact floats out of it and whips Seb into the corner.

Lieberjosch: Tact chops Seb’s chest repeatedly, then pulls him out of the corner and hits a running bulldog.

Vinegar: Tact rolls out of the ring and folds up a ladder, then carries it back into the ring.

Covert Jay: Not wasting any time here, and Tact uses the ladder like a spear, hurling it into Seb!

Vinegar: Seb staggers away, and Tact grabs him and puts him into an abdominal stretch, before lifting him off the mat and dropping him into a side slam on top of the ladder!

Lieberjosch: Larry Tact is looking to brutalize the World Champion early in this match, and now he rolls Seb off the ladder towards the side of the ring.

Vinegar: Tact sets up the ladder and starts to climb as Seb uses the ropes to pull himself up.

Covert Jay: Tact is almost at the top of the ladder, but Seb dropkicks the ladder and it falls over!

Vinegar: Tact lands on the ropes, then falls over to the outside!

Lieberjosch: Seb follows him out of the ring, and he goes underneath the apron and pulls out a steel chair.

Covert Jay: Tact staggers up, and Seb smashes him with the chair!

Lieberjosch: Seb didn’t spend over a year and a half as the Chaos Champion without learning how to take advantage of rules. This might be a ladder match, but there are no disqualifications!

Vinegar: Tact falls onto the barricade, and Seb sets up the chair on Tact’s head, and I’m not sure I like whatever he is thinking here.

Covert Jay: Seb hops onto the barricade and walks down it, then runs back and leaps towards Tact’s head, but Tact pulls back like a ninja!

Vinegar: The chair lands on the ground and Seb lands on top of it!

Lieberjosch: Tact tumbles back over the barricade to ringside and slowly rolls back into the ring.

Covert Jay: Opportunity here for Larry Tact!

Vinegar: He sets the ladder back up and starts to climb, but Seb has stumbled back up and is heading back into the ring.

Lieberjosch: Tact is halfway up the ladder, but Seb grabs his leg and pulls him off the ladder and transitions into the Kings Road!

Vinegar: Seb has Tact in the Kings Road, but that’s not going to win this match! This match can only end by taking down the title!

Covert Jay: But the damage that Seb is inflicting to the foot and leg of Larry Tact can certainly help!

Vinegar: Seb releases the hold and repositions the ladder, he’s on his way up! Tact is writhing in pain from the Kings Road!

Lieberjosch: Seb has reached the title, but Tact uses his good leg to knock the ladder out from under him!

Covert Jay: Seb is dangling from the World Title!

Vinegar: Seb is trying to somehow get leverage to unhook the title, meanwhile Tact folds up the ladder, limping on one leg, and he hits Seb with it!

Lieberjosch: Seb comes crashing down to the mat, and Tact holds the ladder overhead before dropping it on him!

Vinegar: And now an opening for Larry Tact, who sets the ladder back up and gingerly starts to climb it, slowed by the damaged leg.

Covert Jay: This is where the earlier strategiery of Seb comes into play.

Lieberjosch: Strategiery?

Covert Jay: I said what I said.

Vinegar: The slow climb gives time for Seb to stagger to his feet, and he starts to climb the ladder on the opposite side.

Lieberjosch: Tact reaches the title!

Covert Jay: But so does Seb!

Vinegar: Both men trying to grasp the title, and they exchange blows up top!

Lieberjosch: Neither giving an inch, they bend but refuse to break!

Vinegar: Seb grabs the title, but Tact grabs it as well, and the ladder tilts over beneath them!

Lieberjosch: Both men are hanging from the title!

Covert Jay: The entire arena is on their feet for these two ninja warriors!

Vinegar: Tact repositioning himself behind Seb, I don’t like the look up this.

Lieberjosch: Seb’s trying to unlatch it!

Vinegar: JESUS CHRIST ON A POGO STICK!!!!

Covert Jay: STARBREAKER!!!!

Vinegar: Tact let go of the table and grabbed hold of Seb, pulled him off the title as both men fell into a modified Starbreaker!

Lieberjosch: I’m not sure who got the worst of that, but now both men are down!

Vinegar: Tact stirring first, stumbling to his feet, and he’s got the ladder.

Lieberjosch: Seb hasn’t moved yet, and Larry Tact is now setting up the ladder, he’s starting to climb!

Vinegar: That leg still slowing him down, targeted by Seb earlier in the match, meanwhile Seb is stirring!

Covert Jay: Tact ascending, but Seb moves under the ladder, reaches through and grabs Tact by the waist, pulling him directly into the steel!

Vinegar: And now Seb reaches through the higher rungs of the ladder, he’s got Tact by the head, twists him as pulls his head through the rungs!

Lieberjosch: NIGHTFALL!!!

Vinegar: Seb applying the Nightfall hold with Tact stuck in the ladder!

Covert Jay: There are over 697 different scenarios that it can be applied in! This is #429.

Lieberjosch: Tact fading, I think he might be out!

Vinegar: Seb leaves Tact trapped in the ladder, and now he climbs the other side!

Lieberjosch: Tact isn’t moving!

Vinegar: Seb’s at the top of the ladder, grabs the title!

Lieberjosch: He’s got it!

Mitchell Dennis: Here is your winner, and STILL the World Heavyweight Champion, SEEEBBBASSSSTTTIIAANNNNN EVVVERRRRETTTTT BRRRYYYYYYCCCCCEEEE!!!!

Covert Jay: He doth won!

Vinegar: The Empire reigns supreme and continues its path towards Horizons!

Lieberjosch: And after the Conquest Title Match earlier tonight, we know that path goes through Ezra Wolf!

Covert Jay: Our main event is next!

[UGWC Staff]

Vinegar: What a night it has been here in Buffalo at Keeper of the Keys, and it’s all been leading to this, the Keys to the Kingdom Match!

Lieberjosch: Four keyholders, with keys won throughout the year, competing for the chance to control their destiny with the opponent and stipulation of their choosing at Horizons!

Mitchell Dennis: The following contest is your main event of the evening and is the KEEPER OF THE KEYS MATCH!!!!

Zane Scott emerges from backstage and walks to the ring without an entrance in his bio.

Mitchell Dennis: Introducing first, the Keeper of the Global Challenge Key, he is the reigning Cross-Hemisphere Champion, the Professional, ZAAAAANNNEEEE SCCCCOOOTTTTTTT!!!!

Vinegar: It’s been a big comeback year for Zane Scott, he started it at Infinity when he won the Global Challenge, and defeated Ken Davison in the final match.

Lieberjosch: Zane also won the Cross-Hemisphere Title at WrestleStock and has held it ever since, safe to say that the Personification of Hate is operating back at peak form.

The houselights cut out, a single Raven cries out soon joined by another, then another until the cries of an entire unkindness fill the house sound system, soon broken by "Hell Broke Luce" by Tom Waits cutting through, the house lights coming up to a dull blue as a single white strobe light pulses in time to the song's percussion. Standing in the middle of that pulsing light, back to the ring, stands Matthew Knox adorned in his ring gear and a sleeveless hoodie. Arms outstretched like a bird in flight he pivots on a heel and begins making his way to the ring, sliding under the bottom rope and picking a corner to charge and leap upon to scream the audience into a frenzy. He takes a lap around the ring, before kneeling in a corner and patiently waiting for the ring bell to sound.

Mitchell Dennis: Next, the Keeper of the Survivor Key, he is the co-holder of the Cooperative Championship, the Raven, MAAAATTTTTTTT KNNOOOOOXXXXXXX!!!!

Vinegar: Matt Knox won the first ever Survivor of the Fittest Tournament, defeating three men in the finals, not only JC and Tony Savage, but also one of the same opponents he will face here tonight.

Covert Jay: The saga of the Suplex Cops and Tragedia del’Arte captivated us throughout the fall, and while what happened two weeks ago between Knox and JC was a true tragedy, the Mock (YEAH) Ing (YEAH) Birds (YEAH!!!) came out of it all as our true Cooperative Champions!

SAVE YOUR PITY FOR THE WEEEAAAAKKKKKK!!!!

The loud and thunderous start to "Extermination" by Upon A Burning Body blares over the PA. Lights flash and kick drums smash. Dave Rydell steps out onto the stage sporting his multicam pants, coyote Garmont boots, and a sleeveless black shirt. He stands on stage for a moment until the song picks up with the first verse. He saunters down the ramp, looking intently and intensely. He turns left to walk up the steps before making it onto the apron. He looks out into the crowd before wiping his feet off and climbing through the ropes into the ring. He heads to his corner, removing his shirt and tossing it to ringside. He takes a brief moment to stretch for a few seconds as he prepares for the opening bell.

Mitchell Dennis: Next, the Keeper of the Battleground Key, DAVE RYYYYYDDEEEELLLLLLLL!!!!

Vinegar: Considered by many to be the most difficult and challenging match of the year, the Battleground Match featured six fierce competitors, including the current World Heavyweight Champion, and was won by Dave Rydell!

Covert Jay: And a victory tonight would mean that Rydell could have a chance to finally achieve his dream of winning the World Heavyweight Title in the main event of Horizons!

The lights go out, and stay out for a few seconds, before a lone spotlight begins to shine down upon the stage. As the music first starts out, fireworks go off around the area that the spotlight showcases. Up through the flooring of the stage rises 'Vain' Alan Wallace - a buxom blonde standing to his left, and a gorgeous brunette standing to his right. As the lift that they are being raised by comes to a stop, the two women drop to their knees and turn towards him, running their hands down his chest and abs, before giving each other a kiss. Vain tosses the hood of his robe back, revealing that beautiful money maker of his, and then throws his arms up in the air as he begins walking towards the ring, and his two harlots make their way backstage. Upon entering the ring, he spins around in a circle with his arms raised high, basking in the reaction of the people. He then prepares for the task in front of him, as his music begins to fade out.

Mitchell Dennis: And their opponent, the Keeper of the Melee Key, the Prognosticator of the Bro Hug, VAIN ALLLLANNNN WAALLLLLLLLLAAAACCCCCCEEEEEEE!!!!

Vinegar: There’s very little that Alan Wallace has yet to accomplish in this industry, but after making a shocking return at this year’s WrestleStock Festival, he checked another box by winning the Massive Melee.

Lieberjosch: It was a personal victory as well, Vain eliminating Travis Pierce last to win that match.

DING DING!!!

Vinegar: Here we go, one of these four is punching their ticket to Horizons, as Zane Scott brawls with Dave Rydell, Wallace grappling with Knox on the other side of the ring.

Lieberjosch: Each of the four wearing their respective key around their neck, and you need all four keys to win this match.

Covert Jay: A podium is set up on the stage, upon which is set a case, and in that case is the contract. Four locks on the case, you need all four keys to open it.

Lieberjosch: Vain backs Knox into a corner, driving his shoulder into his chest, and now he stomps him down.

Covert Jay: He snatches the key off Knox’s neck!

Vinegar: The fight between Rydell and Scott has spilled to ringside right in front of us!

Lieberjosch: Exchanging blows, but Vain comes over the top rope with a flying cross body tackle, taking out both of them!

Vinegar: Wallace getting back to his feet, now he’s going for Rydell’s key!

Covert Jay: Vain is not wasting any time!

Vinegar: Wallace trying to get the key loose, but Knox is out of the ring and clocks him with a discus elbow!

Lieberjosch: Knox grabs Vain by the head and slams him off our desk, and…hey, get away from here!

Vinegar: Knox has brought Wallace up on top of our table, he’s got him in a waistlock, don’t do this!

Lieberjosch: Look out!

Covert Jay: Knox hurls Vain off the table with a German Suplex, right through the adjacent Comorian announce table!

Lieberjosch: Comorian?

Covert Jay: Yes, they broadcast us locally in Comoros, which is a small island nation located in the Indian Ocean, off the eastern coast of Africa, between Madagascar and the coast of Mozambique.

Lieberjosch: Got it.

Covert Jay: It consists of three major islands: Grande Comore, Mohéli, and Anjouan, as well as many smaller islands.

Lieberjosch: Yes, I see.

Covert Jay: Comoros is known for its rich cultural heritage, beautiful beaches, and diverse marine life.

Lieberjosch: Seriously, shut up.

Vinegar: Knox takes back his key as well as Wallace’s, but turns right into the Tip of the Spear!

Covert Jay: Rydell takes the two keys from Knox, but right away gets blasted by a two-handed sledge strike from Zane, right to the face!

Vinegar: And the two keys in his hand go flying into the crowd!

Lieberjosch: Well, that’s going to be a problem, since you need all four.

Vinegar: Scott grabs Rydell by the throat and slams him down to the ground, trying to get the key off his neck, Rydell struggling against him.

Lieberjosch: Matt Knox is back on his feet, and he vaults the barricade and disappears into the crowd.

Covert Jay: The Suplex Cop is on the case!

Vinegar: Rydell still struggling with Scott, and he shoves the bigger man away, ripping the key from his neck as he does so.

Lieberjosch: Rydell rolls to his feet, he’s got Zane’s key!

Covert Jay: Zane springs to his feet and lunges at him, but runs right into the Virus of Life!

Vinegar: Rydell dropped the Global Key to do it, picks it back up now, and as he rolls into the ring, is it me or is his own key missing from his neck?

Covert Jay: Zane has it. They both grabbed each other’s key at the same time.

Lieberjosch: Rydell hasn’t noticed yet that his key is missing, and he climbs to the second rope, looking out into the crowd, trying to get a sense of where those other two keys went.

Vinegar: It looks like Knox has located them, as he comes back over the barricade right beneath Rydell, but Wallace comes out of nowhere and tackles Knox against the barricade!

Lieberjosch: Vain recovered from the earlier attack, and now he’s looking for the two keys!

Vinegar: Rydell stands on top of the turnbuckle, leaps for a Rydell Bomb!

Covert Jay: Vain moves out of the way, and Rydell crashes onto Knox at ringside!

Lieberjosch: Vain grabs Rydell, delivers a Cherry Popper, right on top of Knox!

Vinegar: Wallace back to his feet, picks up all three keys laying on the ground around them.

Lieberjosch: Vain heads up the ramp with the three keys, doesn’t seem to bother him that he is missing one.

Covert Jay: It’s a bold strategy, Hans. We’ll see how it works out for him.

Vinegar: We’ve already seen struggles to maintain control of two keys, this might not be the worst idea.

Lieberjosch: Vain’s arrived at the top of the ramp, and starts inserting the keys into the locks!

Vinegar: But he still needs one more, and Wallace turns around to see the fourth key, placed back around the neck of Zane Scott, who stares at Wallace from the bottom of the ramp.

Lieberjosch: These two have worked together in recent weeks, but Horizons comes between many a temporary alliance, and it’s about to again right here!

Vinegar: Wallace and Scott meeting in the midpoint of the ramp, who’s going to take control of the final key?

Lieberjosch: Matt Knox clobbers Zane from behind!

Vinegar: Wallace swings at Knox, but Knox counters with an exploder suplex!

Covert Jay: Knox grabs Zane and hurls him into the barricade alongside the ramp, and he takes the key!

Vinegar: Knox turns around runs up the ramp, but Rydell has come up the ramp and sprints after him, and as Knox arrives at the stage, Rydell shoves him from behind, knocking him into the podium!

Lieberjosch: The key clatters to the ground as Knox staggers, but ducks under a clothesline from Rydell, and now they’re brawling to the side of the stage!

Vinegar: Rydell right near the edge of the stage, Knox connects with an uppercut, Rydell wavering, but he maintains his balance!

Covert Jay: Knox goes to hit him again, but Rydell grabs him, and they both tumble off the side of the stage through a stack of tables and possibly a soft cardboard landing that we’ll pretend isn’t there!

Vinegar: Zane Scott is back on his feet, and he picks up the dropped key, and inserts it in the lock!

Lieberjosch: Hold on a second! One is missing!

Vinegar: Scott looking around for the key! There’s only three in the case!

Covert Jay: Vain still has the other!

Vinegar: Wallace only put two of the keys in the case, he’s still got the third!

Lieberjosch: Zane turns around, and Vain is charging right at him!

Covert Jay: CURTAIN CALL!!!!

Vinegar: Wallace back to his feet, he’s got the fourth key into the lock, and he opens the case and takes the contract!

Mitchell Dennis: Here is your winner, and the 2023 Keymaster, VAIN ALLLLANNNN WALLLLLAAAACCCCCEEEEE!!!!

Vinegar: What a comeback story it has been for Alan Wallace! He returns at WrestleStock, goes on to win the Massive Melee, and now he’ll have the match of his choice at Horizons!

Lieberjosch: It would have been unthinkable six months ago, but we could see Vain back in the main event of the biggest show of the year!

Vinegar: And speaking of that main event, who will be the defending World Champion in that match? Sebastian Everett-Bryce defends against Ezra Wolf in two weeks!

Covert Jay: We’ll see you then!

[UGWC Staff]

Credits

Opener
Dave

Chaos Championship
Brandon

Conquest Championship
Ad

World Championship
Steve

Keys to the Kingdom
Steve