Synergy #7 Results - May 31 2010 (Delayed)

[T-Robosaurus Rex]

Vinegar: Ladies and Gentlemen welcome to Synergy...

Covert jay: Hut...

Lieberjosch: Oh will you be quiet, that's not even a word!

Covert Jay: Strong Bad would disagree, and I trust him more than you...

Lieberjosch: Who?

Vinegar: Whilst my colleagues bicker about Hans' shocking knowledge of popular culture, we have a hell of a night in store for you, the Co-Operative Champions Tyvola and Travis Roberts will be teaming for the first time since winning the titles at No Holds Barred, and they'll be facing former Tag Champions Chassie Fear and Dirge...

Lieberjosch: If they choose to enter the ring this week...

Covert Jay: this match has nothing to do with Kiseragi so I imagine we're safe in saying they will...

Vinegar: We've also got the Semi-Finals of the Alex Kiseragi Invitational Tournament, Travis Pierce will face off against JK and Phrixus Deimos against John Russo, the winners will get the chance to fight for a shot at the Cross Hemisphere Championship next week.

Lieberjosch: And we've got a Garbage Wrestling Battle Royale in which Jet Somers will continue to bring some respectability to a joke of a division.

Vinegar: And finally we have The Dragon facing off against Medos and the surprise story of the past few weeks, Andy Savana! But before all that we have some Cooperative Action coming up to open the show, the Brick City Boys are already in the ring, and we are awaiting their opponents...

Dennis: The next match is a Cooperative Match and is scheduled for one fall, already in the ring Derick Felix and David Lopes...THE BRICK CITY BOYZ!!!!

'Land of Hope and Glory!'

Dennis: Introducing their opponents, from Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth the Seconds Glorious and Plentifulo Lands, 'The Brigadier General' Johnny Blake and 'Captain' Duncan Ryder...THE ROYAL FIRST BATTALION!

Vinegar: It seems there have been a few tweaks to The Thames Valley Hit Squads gimmick...

Lieberjosch: For gods sake, at least get the name right, they are now The Royal First Battalion...

Vinegar: This smells of Moss Edwards all over, and I'm not going to encourage it, I doubt the Hit Squad are too keen either...

Lieberjosch: The Captain seems to be waving that flag with some enthusiasm, to counter your point.

Vinegar: Let's be fair, thats not much of an argument, 'Dashing' Duncan Ryder is a little like a small puppy, he does what he is told out of fear of repercussions...

Lieberjosch: Well what about The Brigadier General? He hasn't hurled his uniform off this time.

Vinegar: Johnny Blake probably realises there is nothing to be gained from arguing over this point, he's been in the game long enough to know your entrance means nothing compared to what you do once you are in the ring. Last week the Hit Squad took the opportunity of a Main Event spot to make a point, it may be a move they end up regretting, but no-one ignores an attack on one of the companies top stars...

Lieberjosch: And look where it got them, straight back to the bottom of the card! That's probably why they are sticking to Moss' plan, they know where their bread is buttered...

Vinegar: That remains to be seen...

Covert Jay: Interesting fact Battalion has the same first four letters as the word Batty...In the UK the phrase 'Batty Man' is often used by urban individuals to describe a man of homosexual orientation or as an insult. I wonder how long it will take before BoolZ starts to call them the Queen's Batty Boys?

Vinegar: BoolZ has disappeared...

Covert Jay: Oh, right of course he has, Tyvola then...

Vinegar: What has he got to do with anything? And I doubt anyone would have known about this 'Batty Man' phrase unless you'd pointed it out...

Covert jay: Ah, right....my bad!

[The match starts off with Duncan and Derick, and instantly the Englishman takes control of the match with a series of suplexes and ground based moves, before tagging in his partner, who goes about things in a completely different way, dishing out a variety of punches and kicks with the occasional high impact move. But as he attempts a Gutbuster, somehow Felix manages to escape, and throw Johnny into the ropes, buying himself enough time to tag his partner in.

David Lopes is able to take advantage of Johnny Blake's state of unbalance, and takes him tot he ground with a pavement slam, and then lifts him to his feet and whips him against the ropes, on the rebound though Johnny Blake takes him down with a vicious flying shoulder, which cracks into his jaw, he then tags in Duncan Ryder, who climbs to the top rope, and hits and flying leg drop as his partner slams his foot inbetween Lopes' legs, the Brick City Boy rolling around on the floor.

The Royal First Battalion proceed to cut the ring in half for the enxt couple of mintues, exchanging tags and wearing down the neck and legs of David Lopes. It doesn't take long for Derick Felix to get frustrated and dive into the mix, barging past the referee, only for Johnny Blake to climb into the ring and intercept him with a brutal Ballistic Buster after a kick to the gut, he tehn turns and grabs the legs of Lopes and synches in a figure four leg lock, and at the same moment Duncan hoists his opponent into a Dragon Sleeper!]

Covert Jay: FISH & CHIPS!!!

Lieberjosch: I think you'll find that's the Judas Cradle....

Covert Jay: Not anymore.

[Lopes begins to tap, and Chartreuse isn't sure what to do, despite this clearly beign a finisher, one of those executing it is not the legal man, after a few moments he realises considering what to do may well cause David Lopes considerable permanent damage, and with the prospect of multiple lawsuits heading his way, he signals for the bell to be called.]

Dennis: Here are your winners via a Submission...THE ROYAL FIRST BATTALION!

Vinegar: A dominant victory for the Hit Squad, who look impressive despite Moss' best efforts to turn them into the ultimate wrestling cliché, and Jay's attempts to heap more humiliation upon them.

Covert Jay: What can I say, it's my job!

[T-Robosaurus Rex]

Dennis: Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome.....from Melbourne Australia......JEEEEEEEEEEEEEET!!!!!!!

Jet make their way out to a chorus of approval from the UGWC fans as Cameron Muncey, Mark Wilson, Nic Cester, and Chris Cester make their way out on to the specially set up stage, in front of a banner saying ‘Ground Zero Band’

Cam: HEEEELLOOOOOOO LA!

Massive amounts of cheering come from the audience

Lieberjosch: What the hell is this??

Covert Jay: Something Ninjary....my ninja sense is tingling.

Vinegar: I’m being told that tonight is the return of an old GIW segment, Ground Zero hosted by JK.

Covert Jay: Ah, the little ninja has a talk show!

Lieberjosch: How Pathetic....

Cam: We’d just like to say that it is an absolute fucking honour to play at the UGWC Arena for the opener of Ground Zero; and since we are opening for a fellow Aussie, we have to do this.... AUSSIE! AUSSIE! AUSSIE! GO!

Cam holds the mic out to the crowd

Crowd: OI! OI! OI!

Cameron starts playing a beat on a tambourine as Mark begins to play that familiar bass line to the song ‘Are you gonna be my girl’, the song that gave them international success, many of the fans cheer when they hear the beginnings to the song, and even more when the guitar kicks in just before Cam starts singing

Cam: So 1, 2, 3, take my hand and come with me
because you look so fine
and I really wanna make you mine.
I say you look so fine
that I really wanna make you mine.
Oh, 4, 5, 6 c'mon and get your kicks
now you don’t need that money
when you look like that, do ya honey.

(JK enters to a large reception by the audience, in Ground Zero tradition, JK sings some of the next few lines with Cam)

Cam + JK: Big black boots,
long brown hair,
she's so sweet
with her get back stare.

(JK continues to walk down towards the ring, high fiving fans, and signing autographs here and there)

Well I could see,
you home with me,
but you were with another man, yea!
I know we,
aint got much to say,
before I let you get away, yea!
I said, are you gonna be my girl?

Well, so 1, 2, 3, take my hand and come with me
because you look so fine
and I really wanna make you mine.
I say you look so fine
that I really wanna make you mine.
Oh, 4, 5, 6 c'mon and get your kicks
now you don’t need that money
with a face like that, do ya.

(JK goes around the ring, doing the same things as he did for the fans in the aisle)

Big black boots,
long brown hair,
she's so sweet
with her get back stare.

Well I could see,
you home with me,
but you were with another man, yea!
I know we,
aint got much to say,
before I let you get away, yea!
I said, are you gonna be my girl?

(As he approaches the Announcers table, Jay jumps up and bows to JK. JK laughs and points at Covert Jay as the fans start to cheer. Covert again stands up to pose for the Cameras, but Lieberjosch pulls him back down)

Oh yea. Oh yea. C'mon!
I could see,
you home with me,
but you were with another man, yea!
I know we,
aint got much to say,
before I let you get away, yea!
Uh, be my girl.
Be my girl.
Are you gonna be my girl?! Yea

(JK poses up on the turnbuckle for the fans to take photos as Jet play the final notes for the song. He then jumps into the ring, and picks up a mic that was lying on the ground)

JK: Thank you JET!

The fans cheer a bit more as the band wave and head off

JK: Well....let the ratings war begin I guess, Pierce has the Piercing truth, and I have my little live show for all you guys and for a little bit of promotion on the side.

Again, the fans cheer. A small ‘Ground Zero’ chant strikes up as JK looks out at all the fans

JK: Thanks for the support guys, but honestly; I do this all for you guys; all of it. None of this gives me an extra purse or a bigger pay check or whatever; this is for your entertainment. Speaking of entertainment, did anyone catch that cross brand match between the UGWC and the CWA last week? How fucking brilliant was that?

The crowd shows some agreement with JK in what he has said

JK: Good thing for us was that we won it; however, it seems that the idea is working, to the point where yet another CWA superstar has arrived for promotion of the brand, and we have the privilege of meeting her tonight. Please welcome from London England, The CWA Punk Rock chick and CWA women’s champion, SHEENA RAMONE!

‘Sheena is a punk rocker’ by the Ramones kicks in as Sheena makes her way out onto the stage, wearing that punk school girl outfit again, much to the approval of the male crowd in attendance, which is heard through wolf whistles. Sheena is absolutely disgusted, and continuously flips off any man in the front row who makes a suggestive comment, even throwing in a few curse words to them. She quickly slides into the ring as to try and not make it look as sexual as it could. JK hands her a mic and shakes her hand as the music dies down

JK: Welcome to the US Sheena.

Sheena: Yeah, whatever.

JK: First thing first, how have you been enjoying your stay this week?

Sheena: Apart from these as fuck perverted wankers...

Sheena stares out the wolf whistlers

Sheena: It’s been alright in Yankeeville.

JK: What do you hope to do here while in the US?

Sheena: What do you think? I’m gunner pull a few promotional moments for the CWA like this.....

Sheena heads to the ring ropes nearest to the announcers table and points at Lieberjosch

Sheena: Oi fucker......watch the CWA if you aint to much of a pansy!

JK Laughs

JK: Well I’m sure that many people have wanted to call Lieberjosch that for some time, not that I count myself in that crowd though. Do you think that you will get any ring time in the UGWC?

Sheena: I dunno that yet you thick prick. I hope I do, wouldn’t mind showing up some of these arrogant fuckers...like those arse kissin’ Red Coat Hit Squad group or whatever the fuck they are called...

JK: Wow, I don’t think I have had such a heavy swearer on this show before...So you’ve really got it in for the Royal 1st Battalion don’t you?

Sheena: Oh, that’s what they’re called....still sounds like the tool squad to me. And yeah, I have it for ‘em, enforcing that stereotype that all Brits are suck ups to the queen, its fuckin’ despicable!

JK: I don’t think it was their idea, could have been the thinking’s of Moss Edwards.

Sheena: Then they are despicable, spineless, fucks! No self respecting person would be told how to run their character!

JK: And one question that has been bugging me, rumour has it that you and a friend of mine, Paul Cockatoo, have started seeing each other, is this true?

Sheena: Yeah, it’s true, so what?

JK: No reason just needed some clarification is all. I’m afraid that’s all the time we have, Sheena, thank you for your time, and I’m sure that I am not the only one who can’t wait to see you in action.

Sheena: Whatever you patronising fool.

Sheena leaves the ring as JK watches her, shaking his head. He then turns to the fans and shrugs before ‘It’s my life’ kicks in signalling JK’s leaving.

Lieberjosch: That was.....interesting.

Covert Jay: Never been called a ‘Fucker’ before have you?

Lieberjosch: No, and for good reason. Unlike you, I am a respected member of Society, and therefore I am not routinely insulted like that.

Vinegar: As interesting as that indeed was, it’s time for our next match.

[T-Robosaurus Rex]

Vinegar: We continue on here on Synergy, with the first of two semi-final matches tonight from the Kiseragi Invitational Tournament!

Lieberjosch: By which you refer to the circle jerk ego stroke that Kiseragi has put together. This tournament by all rights should have been named after the prestigious championship that is at stake, not simply garnered more attention to the man holding it.

Vinegar: That’s your opinion and you’re entitled to it, but-

Lieberjosch: You’re damned right I am! If anybody around here had any sense, they’d have made me the General Manager of this organization by now.

Covert Jay: To do so properly would require the intuition of a true ninja.

The lights flicker to green and gold as the opening guitar riff for 'It's my life' kicks in. JK walks through the curtain and out onto the entrance way. JK looks up at the fans as he holds up an open hand, queuing fireworks to go off in set locations around the arena. JK continues down to the ring, high-fiving the fans on the way. JK slides into the ring before climbing the turnbuckle and doing his signature five finger pose, before giving one last searching look throughout the crowd, showing almost no emotion.

Mitchell: The following contest is scheduled for one fall and is a semi-final match of the Kiseragi Invitation Tournament! Introducing first, the Cyclone, JAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY KAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!

Vinegar: JK advanced last week by way of an impressive victory over Eric Gold.

Covert Jay: He faced one show host, now he faces another!

Lieberjosch: But his opponent tonight is a true veteran, and the man who really should be the one waiting at the end of this tournament, so JK is going to have his work cut out for him.

Covert Jay: With scissors?

Lieberjosch: What?

Covert Jay: Well, there isn’t much else you’d want to use to cut something out.

Pyros explode on the opening rifts of “You Know My Name”, and as the music softens Travis Pierce comes out from backstage and walks to the ring.

Mitchell: And his opponent, the host of the Piercing Truth, TRAVIS PIEEEEEEERRRRRCCEEEE!!!!!

Vinegar: Pierce qualified by defeating “Joker” Mark Matthews last week.

Lieberjosch: And here we see the unfair treatment of Travis Pierce fully revealed. Pierce by all rights should have received a rematch for the championship that he lost, yet not only does he still have to win two more matches to get his shot, but the man he beat last week gets a title shot tonight!

Vinegar: Joker is one of three men challenging later tonight for the Chaos Championship, I suppose that could be considered questionable booking on the part of Dexter Vines and the Consortium.

Lieberjosch: Could be? What show are you watching?

DING DING!

Vinegar: Glenn Burke has gotten this match underway, and JK surprises Pierce with a quick clothesline.

Covert Jay: It was an explosive burst, yet provided a ninja-like surprise strike.

Vinegar: JK connecting with a kick to the ribs, and now he springboards off the ropes with a roundhouse kick, but Pierce ducks under it, JK right to his feet and off the ropes, but he runs right into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker!

Lieberjosch: Pierce needs to control the pace and keep JK grounded, if he lets him continue to ping pong around the ring, he’ll be putting himself at a disadvantage.

Vinegar: Pierce delivering several knees to the back of JK, and now a snap suplex, looks to be following your advice.

Lieberjosch: Following my advice can make anyone a champion!

Covert Jay: Even me?

Lieberjosch: I’d advise you to create your own promotion at the bottom of a lake somewhere and declare yourself the Bottom Dweller Champion.

Vinegar: Pierce pulling JK up, setting up the Breakdown, but JK elbows him away!

Covert Jay: Pele kick!

Vinegar: Athletic display by JK, and the cover!

Burke: ONE!!!!!




TWO!!!!!




Vinegar: Pierce kicks out!

Lieberjosch: Pierce is a driven man, he doesn’t just want to win this tournament, he needs to.

Covert Jay: What do you think he drives?

Lieberjosch: Huh?

Covert Jay: You said he was driven. Are we talking, like, a Nissan Versa?

Lieberjosch: Why don’t you-

Vinegar: JK has Pierce set up for a slingshot into the corner, but Pierce lands safely on the turnbuckle, leaps back for a headscissor from the top rope, BLOCKED!

Covert Jay: EYE OF THE STORM!!!!

Vinegar: JK again with the cover!

Burke: ONE!!!!!




TWO!!!!!




Vinegar: Pierce with the shoulder up!

Lieberjosch: Pierce refuses to lose to this adolescent nimrod, and I can’t blame him!

Vinegar: JK pulling him back to his-

Lieberjosch: THE TRUTH HURTS!!!!!

Vinegar: Pierce with The Truth Hurts out of nowhere, and now he rolls on top of JK!

Burke: ONE!!!!!




TWO!!!!!




THREE!!!!!




Mitchell: Here is your winner, TRAVIS PIEEEERRRRRCCCEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

Lieberjosch: That is what makes Pierce dangerous, a devastating finisher that can come out of nowhere!

Vinegar: And with it, Pierce advances to the tournament final match, next week on Synergy!

[T-Robosaurus Rex]

Vinegar: With one of our finalists in the Kiseragi Invitational Tournament determined, it’s time to decide the other, here on Synergy!

Lieberjosch: Is that necessary?

Vinegar: To let people know what they are about to see?

Lieberjosch: To remind them they are watching Synergy. We’re broadcast on the internet. You think they stumbled halfway into the show by accident while looking for porn?

Covert Jay: If so, they’re probably pretty disappointed.

Lieberjosch: I certainly would be, if I wanted to see a lesbian orgy, and instead got oiled up men trying to pin each other to the mat to the adulation of a screaming crowd.

"Shout 2000" hits over the PA system as John Russo appears from behind the curtain, smiling as he poses for the crowd on top of the stage. He walks at a moderate pace down the ramp, pumping his arms into the air and telling the crowd to, Shout!" When he reaches ringside, he slides underneath the bottom ring rope and quickly stands up in the center of the ring. He poses for the crowd once more, telling the crowd to, "Come on! Keep on shouting!"

Mitchell: The following contest is scheduled for one fall, and the winner will face JK next week for the right to challenge for the Cross-Hemisphere Title at Revolution. Introducing first, from San Diego, Calfornia, JOHN RUUUUUUUUUSSSSOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Vinegar: John Russo moved past the quarter-finals last week by forfeit when his opponent, Chassie Fear, failed to show up for the match.

Lieberjosch: The Covenant has a larger plan, you just know they’re up to something and have a larger purpose.

Vinegar: By not showing up for any of their matches?

Lieberjosch: They’re making a statement!

Covert Jay: But Owen Peterson was the referee for that match last week, and this as well! Conspiracy?

“Phucking Phreak” hits, and Phrixus Deimos creeps down the ramp to the ring.

Mitchell: And his opponent, the Embodiment of Fear, PHRIXUS DEEIIIIIIMOOOOOOOOSSSSSS!!!!

Vinegar: Deimos advanced last week with a submission victory over Derick Felix of the Brick City Boyz, and it’s my understanding that Deimos and Russo have taken a similar path in their careers.

Covert Jay: Both men former Lord of the Ring tournament winners, both men romantically linked to Firestar at the same time as they began to really come into their own.

Lieberjosch: And both overcame ridiculous gimmicks at the outset of their careers.

Covert Jay: I enjoyed them both!

Lieberjosch: I rest my case.

DING DING!

Vinegar: Double elbow tie-up starts the match, transitioned into a side headlock by Deimos, Russo shoves him away, Deimos ducks a clothesline on the return, and comes off the ropes with a spear, driving Russo to the mat!

Lieberjosch: I talked backstage before the show with Deimos, and it is my belief that there is nobody more focused on this tournament than him.

Vinegar: I thought he doesn’t talk with interviewers.

Lieberjosch: Do I look like some paltry backstage interviewer?

Covert Jay: No, but when you came out here before the show you looked like someone gave you a wedgie.

Vinegar: Deimos charging again as Russo gets back to his feet, but Russo counters with a Samoan Drop!

Covert Jay: Unleash the hidden kung-fu!

Lieberjosch: Quit your yammering!

Vinegar: Russo pulls Deimos up into a waistlock, Deimos with a back elbow, standing switch into a sleeper hold, but Russo breaks it before it’s locked with an arm drag take down!

Lieberjosch: These are two highly talented competitors, Russo with his martial arts background, an epic match-up that could only be topped by two hosses hossing.

Vinegar: Hosses hossing?

Lieberjosch: I’ve been using that term ever since I invented it in Article 8.

Vinegar: Deimos back to his feet and uses an Irish whip, but Russo comes off the ropes and drops him with a running DDT! Russo with the cover!

Peterson: ONE!!!!




TWO!!!!!




Vinegar: Deimos kicks out!

Covert Jay: Of course he does! Nobody has done a specially named move yet.

Vinegar: What does that have to do with anything? A match could potentially end at any time!

Covert Jay: Sure it could.

Vinegar: Russo pulls Deimos up, whips him into the corner, but Deimos leaps up on the turnbuckle, and explodes back!

Lieberjosch: FAINTING!

Vinegar: But Russo sidesteps it!

Covert Jay: See, NOW it can end at any time.

Vinegar: Russo drops onto Deimos and…that’s the Guillotine!

Lieberjosch: Russo held a demonstration of this hold this past week, it looks simply devastating!

Vinegar: Owen Peterson asking if Deimos wants to give in, but he refuses! Deimos reaches…he grabs a hold of the ropes! John Russo has to break the hold!

Lieberjosch: That shows you just how badly Phrixus Deimos wants to win this tournament, as he refuses to give in!

Vinegar: But the question is how much he has left, as Russo is lying in wait, Deimos using the ropes to pull himself up…

Covert Jay: SUPER KICK!

Vinegar: But Deimos sidesteps it, grabs Russo!

Lieberjosch: NUMBING!!!

Vinegar: Both men are down!

Lieberjosch: A desperate move there by Deimos, but he endures after surviving the Guillotine, and if he can recover before Russo, he can still escape with the win!

Vinegar: And it is indeed Deimos that gets to his feet first, staggering as he does, and he is going to the turnbuckle, looking to finish Russo off!

Lieberjosch: Here it comes….METEOR PRESS!!!!

Vinegar: Russo gets his knees up! Deimos holds his chest in agony, Russo back to his feet, kick to the gut!

Covert Jay: STUNNING VICTORY!

Vinegar: Cover!

Peterson: ONE!!!!!




TWO!!!!!




THREE!!!!!




Mitchell: Here is your winner, JOHN RUUUUUUUUUUUSSSOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Vinegar: And now we know, next week, live on Synergy, it will be Travis Pierce versus John Russo, winner faces Alex Kiseragi for the Cross-Hemisphere Championship at Revolution!

[T-Robosaurus Rex]

Vinegar: And Eric Gold enters the ring ready for action.

Lieberjosch: Was that commercial...

Jay: Advert, adverse to perverse.

Lieberjosch: Commercial. Was that commercial really necessary?

Vinegar: Did you really want to sit through Joka's and Eric Gold's entrance?

Lieberjosch: Alright. I'll concede the point. Don't get used to it though.

Dennis: And their opponent. Standing five foot eleven inches, weighting in at 202 el bee es, he's the current CWA Heavyweight Champion, he is Eeeeenigmmmaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

"Given to fly" by Pearl Jam hits as Enigma appears hanging from the rafters, wearing the CWA world title. As Eddie Vedder sings the line "He's flying", Enigma jumps off as if on que and soars around the ring due to the fact that he is attatched to a guy wire which allows him to gradually soar to a turnbuckle. As soon as he lands, he detatches the wire and allows it to accend as he unhooks the title from his waist and holds it up for the crowd as cameras start going off everywhere. He then jumps down and rolls his neck before awaiting the start of the match.

Lieberjosch: Twice in two weeks?

Vinegar: Word around is this young man Enigma has turned some heads. Reports of the CWA gaining a huge boost in ratings last week can only be attributed to Enigma's work in the UGWC.

Lieberjosch: Yeah, because those poor helpless CWA fans thought there might be a monkey's virgin ass of a chance near Marlo the Beautiful that one of the UGWC might show up.

Jay: Oh, obscure GIW reference.

Lieberjosch: Did you know Marlo was over eight feet tall?

Vinegar: No he/she wasn't.

Lieberjosch: Who knows for sure though.

Dennis: And there opponent, the defending Chaos Champion. He stands five foot ten inches, he weights 185 pounds plus 15 worth of the gold, he is the Wild Card, this is Jjjjet Soooooom-Meeeerrrrssss!

A silhouette resembling Jet Somers appears in the distance of the hallway, walking toward the screen. A distorted and distant Mark Collie wails: 'In time, your time will be no more...,' and the vertical control suddenly flips out as Nonpoint's "Everybody Down" hits hard and Jet runs out from behind the curtain. He runs to the edge of the stage and pumps his fist in the air a few times. At 'And when I stomp you' Jet sprints down the ramp, slapping hands in the crowd as he goes, running to leap onto the apron of the ring. He grabs the rope with one hand and pumps the other fist in the air on each 'Everybody Down!' chant of the chorus. Jet finally steps in, unstraps the Chaos Championship and hands it to the official. He begins bouncing on the balls of his feet and throwing shadow punches to warm up.

Vinegar: Of course Jet Somers redefining the Chaos Championship. The best the UGWC has to offer in the Hardcore division, and he's doing it without the use of weapons.

Lieberjosch: Indeed, and as much as I am against a garbage championship one has to wonder that without garbage wrestling and looking at the competitors isn't the Chaos Championship more of a Cruiserweight or midget division?

Jay: Ninja Championship.

Vinegar: And Sam Green calls for the bell.

That action starts off right away. Eric Gold attempts to run into the center of the ring at Jet Somers but Enigma catches him behind, hoists him up, and sends him down the Thunder Child. Joker charges at Jet with a clothesline, Jet ducks, hits the Final Wound liver punch that destroys Joker, and then pulls him back into a rear naked choke. Joker taps immediately.

Hazel East had already finished the three count on Eric Gold, and Enigma had plenty of time to secure a chair from ringside. Jet Somers gets to his feet right into a devastating overhead chair shot from Enigma. Jet's staggered but not down. He turns and is able to avoid a wild swing with the chair. Enigma carries through on the momentum though, spinning a complete 360 with the whiff, and then drop kicking the chair into Somers' face one the second attempt.

Lieberjosch: You would think someone who claims to be so versed in a multitude of fighting styles would refuse to not acknowledge the one style the division he champions is known for.

Vinegar: Tremendous disadvantage Jet Somers places himself in week in and week out. That's why his actions speak so loud.

Enigma to the outside, he slides a table into the ring, and then hits a springboard frog splash to get back into the ring. Green with a two count before Jet kicks out. Enigma sets up the table near the corner which allows Somers to get back to his feet and start recollecting his thoughts. Enigma turns to continue the assault but Jet gets him with a deep arm drag to take him down. Enigma back up and it's a leg drag. Then another. Then a dragon screw as it's Jet this week picking up the pace with a drop toe hold into an ankle lock. Seeing it's not having the desired effect Jet transitions into a Texas Cloverleaf, then a Sharpshooter, and finally an Indian Death Lock.

By the time he's done switching back and forth between submissions Enigma is on the mat holding his right leg while writhing in pain. Jet tosses the table to the outside to clear the path to the nearest corner. He readies for Enigma to get up for the Jetstreamer, but Enigma doesn't give him the chance. Jet hopped to the second rope, turned, and ate a standing enzurguri before he could launch. Jet ends up in a seated position on the top rope, and Enigma rushes to the second setting up for the 'Here We Go' extreme Twist of Fate.

Jet pushes him off though, hops down from the rope, Enigma turns looking for Desperado, Jet Matrix's, Chok, running spear, but Enigma counters with a Codebreaker that Jet helps bounce him to the outside for a breather. Rolling from the ring though he ends up leaning face down on the table that he'd gotten rid of only moments ago. Enigma sees this, hits the far corner into a roll from the second turnbuckle, Fader from inside the ring to the outside!

Jet moves, and lets Enigma crash through the table back first landing awkwardly on his hip against the edge of the table. Jet sees and seizes the opportunity, hits a standing Blackout, and makes the cover at ringside. East makes the count, and this one is in the books. The fans are a mix of joy and sadness. Jet won, but now it's over.

Dennis: Ladies and gentlemen here is your winner, and still UGWC Chaos Champion, Jet Somers!

Lieberjosch: Midget.

Vinegar: CHAMPION!

Jay: ninja.

Lieberjosch: FEAR!

Vinegar: Phrixus Deimos out of nowhere and he's attacking Jet Somers! The Numbing, and Somers is down.

Lieberjosch: Millennial Decay!

Ninja: This is not NINJA! It's, it's, uh, it's cyber ninja bullpoopy!

Vinegar: Jet Somers is locked in tight!

Lieberjosch: This is what people pay to...

Vinegar: THUNDEROUS CHAIR SHOT FROM ENIGMA! A SECOND!! A THIRD AND DEIMOS HAS TO RELEASE THE HOLD!!!

Lieberjosch: And finally security is out here. Keep those two separated until people have to pay to see them.

Vinegar: A sea of security stand between Diemos and Jet with Enigma now helping Jet to his feet.

Jay: Ninja like honor.

Vinegar: Folks, Cooperative match up next. Stay with us!

[T-Robosaurus Rex]

Vinegar: Ladies and Gentlemen...

Covert Jay: You mean Virgins and Paedophiles; we’re on the internet biiitch!

Vinegar: Well whoever’s watching, what a night we’ve just had! Two more have advanced in the Kiseragi invitational Tournament, and we have just witnessed a manic Chaos title battle royal!

Lieberjosch: That was a sorry state displaying the perverse nature that modern wrestling has taken, trading the traditional use of strength and skill for who can take the most chair shots to the head.

Covert Jay: Thank god we aren’t WWE....then even that would not be allowed....

Lieberjosch: That would be much better! Can your miniscule brain not compute that?

Covert Jay: Ninjas don’t like WWE anyway.

DING! DING!

Dennis: The following Co-Op match is scheduled for ONE FAAAAAAALLLLL!!

The filthy guitar tone of Down’s “Bury Me in Smoke” begins as the lights dim, drawing the crowd to a terrified silence. The people wait on baited breath, afraid to speak for fear of who is behind the curtains. All is dark and as the guitar plays, the atmosphere of the arena one of death and silence and terror. As the music hits a riff, lights of dark purple and white rise up, illuminating the looks of awe and trepidation dispersed amongst the throngs of people. They flash and swirl in random form, seeming to have no particular pattern. While the lights flash on, Dirge and Chassie Fear of The Covenant make their way out onto the stage. The very air about them is one of menace and violence. They step forward, observing with disdain the crowd that starts to boo them. Walking forward they make their way down the aisle slowly, casting loathsome looks at the people who are too afraid to throw things, but voice their dislike openly.

Dennis: Introducing first, representing the Covenant........DIIIIIIIIRGE AND CHASSIE FEAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRR!!!!!!!

As they make their way to the stage they climb in and then mount opposite turnbuckles, looking out amongst the crowd, who is once again shushed by the death like creep of terror’s hands around their hearts. The song fades.

Vinegar: The time tested Covenant were a very dominant force in the old GIW, and tonight could give them the chance they need to be put into contention for those Co-Op titles.

Covert Jay: Except Dirge who would want that nice and shiny Unified world title from Hastings.

The lights go out kicking on a red glow from under the ramp. ‘Come Together’ kicks in and Tyvola lumbers out from the back and towards the ring, carrying what looks like a bouquet of Roses, and ushering something to come out from backstage; once he is certain that whatever it was has come out, he grabs what we see as nothing, but what he would see as something and walks it to ringside, where he ties whatever it was to the ring post nearest to Chassie, he smiles at her and slides into the ring, handing the roses to the ref and telling him to put them next to the time keeper booth.

Dennis: Um, Their opponents, first, weighing in at 376lbs, he is one half of the Co-Op champions, TYYYYYYVOLAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!

Lieberjosch: What was that?

Vinegar: I honestly wish I could tell you....

Covert Jay: It’s a concentrated form of Ninja energy!

Lieberjosch: You are a complete moron! Even if it were any form of energy, why would this gamblers dream want to tie it off?

Covert Jay: So that it won’t escape him? Duh.....

“Cochise" by Audioslave starts up, plays for about 30 seconds and when drums hit in Travis appears through the curtain. His arms will be spread out as if expecting a hero’s welcome, but of course no-one knows who he is. Not put off by any weak reactions, shrugs his shoulders, and looks around as if to say “I was born to do this, and you’ll all know it soon enough”.
As he struts down to the ring, he nods and smiles in a fairly patronising way at the crowd. However, he stops in the vicinity of an attractive women and begins to talk to her, after a while eD makes his way out, nudges Travis and points to the ring in an attempt to remind him what he’s supposed to be doing, Travis slips the girl his number, and almost begrudgingly head to the ring as eD makes his way back to the locker room.

On climbing into the ring, will look his opponent up and down, and grin to himself whilst shaking his head as if to say “this is what you have for me?”

Dennis: And his Co-Op partner, the other half of the Co-Op champions, weighing in at 220lbs, ‘THE HEADLINERRRRRRR’ TRAAAAVIS ROOOOOOOOBERTSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!

Vinegar: Looks like it will be the Headliner taking on Dirge first off, as Tyvola is having what must be a conversation with himself....

Lieberjosch: That is a perfect example of sub section 6 in article 33 of how to mentally ready yourself for a fight.

DING! DING!

Vinegar: And here we go, Travis locking up with dirge in the middle of the ring, neither giving each other any room to move.

Lieberjosch: This is a nice change of pace from that debacle of a match we saw just before.

Covert Jay: You mean a boring change?

Vinegar: Travis gaining the upper hand, with a kick to the midsection, causing Dirge to double over. Travis now grabbing his head, and nailing a DDT! Now unloading on ‘The Greater Evil’ with those vicious stomps! Now the tag made to the Jackal of Jwar Isle....and he’s still talking to himself...

Lieberjosch: That’s over doing it a bit...

Vinegar: Travis shouting at JoJI for his attention, of which he eventually gets. Tyvola now in and throwing those lefts and rights at a now standing Dirge, how blocks one of those shots, and gives Ty a few chops for good measure, sending him back to the corner. Dirge whips Tyvola into his corner, runs in, and clotheslines the Bearded Bastard! Now tagging in Chassie Fear, who starts to beat down on Tyvola, who is starting to recover.

Covert: And he’s smiling at her again, and pointing to that ninja energy, now at Chassie....must be warning her not to make him unleash his ninjaness...

Vinegar: Aaand Chassie seems a little too creped out and tags Dirge back in, who starts unloading again on Tyvola, grabbing him now and OH WOW! What a suplex!

Lieberjosch: It is physical dominance such as that that I miss seeing in every match...

Vinegar: Picking Ty up; looks like he’s setting up for the Death in Vegas......

Covert: NINJA SKILLS!

Lieberjosch: Looks more like a back body drop reversal.

Vinegar: Tyvola now going to his corner and staring at the downed Dirge, Travis getting the blind tag in while Ty is staring into space, grabs Dirge as he is coming to....

Covert Jay: WHITE OUT!!!!!!! WHITE OUT!!!!!!!!!

Lieberjosch: It doesn’t need to be said twice you twit!

Covert Jay: Ninjas say it twice; we are cool like that.

Vinegar: Here’s the pin!

ONE!!!
TWO!!!!
THREE!!!!

DING! DING!

Mitchell Dennis: Here are your winners, the Co-Op champions, TRAVIS ROBERTS AND TYVOOOOOOOLAAAAAAA!!!!!!

Covert Jay: Tyvola is grabbing the roses and unleashing the Ninja energy!!!!!

Vinegar: Whatever it is, he’s leading them over to Chassie Fear.....who confusedly accepts the gifts???

Lieberjosch: And Travis is just watching on, and laughing somewhat....what’s the joke?

Covert Jay: The Ninja energy will attack her in her sleep.

Lieberjosch: I doubt that’s it you blabbering imbecile.

Vinegar: We’ll be right back.

[T-Robosaurus Rex]

Vinegar: ladies and gentlemen, we're moments away from our Main Event. It's been another action packed night, and Synergy is proving to be a show you can just never predict. Remember next week's main event will be between Travis Pierce and John Russo to see who will face Alex Kiseragi for the Cross-Hemisphere Title at Revolution. But tonight The Dragon is in action against World Championship contender Medos and the conqueror of Travis Roberts, Andy Savana.

Lieberjosch: I'm pretty certain lightning can't strike twice...

Covert Jay: I beg to differ, it just happen to strike later than anticipated...

Vinegar: Either way it's been a hell of a week for Andy Savana, the man who has opened pretty much ever UGWC show since it opened has been thrust into the Main Event off of the back of his victory over 'The Blessed One'.

Lieberjosch: Which says more about Travis Roberts than Andy Savana.

Vinegar: Maybe, but he's got a hell of an opportunity tonight, facing off against the Cross Hemisphere Champion and a World Championship Contender. A win tonight would really advance his name in the company.

Lieberjosch: And cast serious questions about UGWC's Championship Division's credibilities.

Dennis: The next match is tonight's Main Event. It is scheduled for one fall and is a Triple threat match.

“Firefly”

Dennis: introducing first, from Somerset, UK...MEEEEEEDOOOOOOSSSSS!!!

Vinegar: This man has a lot to gain from tonight's match, after being pinned quite easily by Alex Kiseragi last week, he'll want to reaffirm his World Championship credentials by casting aside the Cross-Hemisphere Champion.

Lieberjosch: Isn't this just the match of opportunity. Sometimes your undying optomism makes me physically sick.

Vinegar: I do my best.

Lieberjosch: Look Medos doesn't have to reaffirm anything, he proved he was worthy of his shot at No Holds Barred, your frivolous attempts to make every single match actually mean something is rather pathetic. Just take the match for what it is, a random collection of workers thrown together in haphazard fashion.

Vinegar: If you can't see the opportunities all these men have that's your problem, each man has much to gain besides the purser tonight.

“Bullet with butterfly Wings”

Dennis: introducing his opponent, in his first known Main Event in over a year, ANNNNNNNNDDDDYYYYYYY SSSSSAAAAAAVVVVVVAAAAANNNNNAAAAA!!!

Vinegar: Sections of the audience have come alive for Savana, the UGWC fans love and underdog and they love an oddball, and Andy Savana ticks both boxes. This is by far the biggest match he has faced in a long time, and you can tell by his expression even he is surprised to see himself here.

Lieberjosch: As are any fans who haven't tuned in for the past two weeks until this moment, don't worry this is not a parallel dimension, Andy Savana is actually in the main event.

“Teahouse”

Dennis: Introducing last, the UGWC Cross-Hemisphere Champion, ALLLLLLEEEEEXXXXXXX KKKKIIIIIIISSSSSSEEEEERRRAAAAGGGIIII!!!!

Vinegar: 'The Dragon' arguably has the most to lose tonight, after last week he is probably the favourite heading into this match, and a loss in singles competition never looks good on a Champions record.

Lieberjosch: You keep missing the point, why do Alex kiseragi or Medos really care what happens tonight, the most important matches for them will come at Revolution, why waste time and effort worrying about menial tasks like this? Only the likes of Andy Savana can gain anything from this waste of bandwidth.

Covert Jay: I'd certainly be shocked if Savana or Medos won, with no disrespect it goes against the natural order of things, how can a mere man defeat a Dragon? Neither man, to my knowledge, has any Ninja training, so the result is beyond doubt.

Vinegar: I doubt that very much, but we'll find out very soon as all three men are in the ring, and the bell has been rung. Kiseragi is almost immediately sprung on by both Savana and Medos, but Savana takes too long and Alex Kiseragi is already throwing a roundhouse kick his way, and unfortunatley Medos never even makes it to 'the Dragon' as Savana's falling body knocks him off balance and onto his rear end.

Lieberjosch: An embarrassing mistep for Medos there and Kiseragi is on hand to plant a low angled dropkick into his face causing him to fully recline.

Vinegar: 'The Dragon' now turning to the rising Savana, who anticpates Alex trying to lock up with him, and sneaks behind....SCHOOLBOY!

1....







2....











Vinegar: NO! Medos breaks the count.

Lieberjosch: As I said lightening doesn't strike twice...

Vinegar: Kiseragi slaps the canvas in frustration with himself, as Savana looks shocked....

Lieberjosch: Probably because that was his entire game plan...

Vinegar: Medos swings for him, but Andy again shows good reflexes ducks under the swinging arm and slams Medos to the floor with a German Suplex, Kiseragi back on his feet goes to drop and elbow on Savana, but he once again avoids, and then springs to his feet...

Lieberjosch: The Dragon now getting to his feet...he looks slightly bewildered by Andy Savana's new found ability, when before he showed no signs of it existing...

Vinegar: Fans with long memories may recall he was a fine athlete once, but it was always the same story, he'd come so close to achieving something, then blow it.

Lieberjosch: He's handling himself quite well right now, both men attempting to get the upper hand on the other with various kicks, elbows and clotheslines, but both men anticipating the others moves perfectly.

Vinegar: Medos gets back on his feet, and his opponents cease their game of cat and mouse to turn and at the same moment they hit him with a double dropkick sending him back down to the canvas before facing off against one another once more

Lieberjosch: Kiseragi able to take the advantage as he turns an attempt from Savana to get hold of him into an arm drag, and he puts pressure upon the shoulder and left arm of the Unpredictable Urchin.

Vinegar: But Savana manages to escape by rolling out, and now both men are back on their feet and they lock up, Savana going for a DDT but A-Kis blocks with his leg, and then counters into a fishermans suplex...with a bridge...


1...





2...




Lieberjosch: No, Medos is up once again to break the count...

Vinegar: Now he has the opportunity to get himself back into the match, he grabs Andy Savana and whips him to the ropes, swings, but Andy ducks the clothesline and takes Medos down with an instinctive swinging neckbreaker...

Covert Jay: Take a guess who's writing this match...I call a Shining Wizard soon...

Vinegar: A-Kis now back to his feet, and Savana turns to him and as he rises scoops him up for a pavement slam...but the Dragon manages to flip out and land on his feet to the amazement and pleasure of the fans, and as Savana turns round to face him, he is kicked in the gut...

Covert Jay: DRAGON TAIL!

1...



2...


Vinegar: Kick out from Savana, it wasn't so long ago her would have just given up there...and even Alex Kiseragi has to nod his head in respect to Savana's new found fortitude...

Lieberjosch: But that act of recognition has given medos the opportunity to again attempt to find a way back into the match, and he grabs the Dragin from behind in a Full Nelson...

Vinegar: A-Kis manages to break and counter, and spins behind Medos holding him in a full nelson...

Lieberjosch: Savana now up, and he joins A-Kis by delivering a flurry of rights and lefts to Medos, before A-Kis slams the Englishman to the floor with a Full nelson slam, and once again Savana and A-Kis turn their attentions to one another. A-Kis whipping Savana into the ropes, but again Andy ducks...comes back...

Vinegar: Both men taking each other out with clotheslines and now all three competitors are on the floor...

Lieberjosch: I'll admit this match hasn't exactly gone the way I expected...

Covert Jay: I could foresee it all, Ninja powers and all, but don't want to spoil it for you both.

Vinegar: All three men getting slowly to their feet, and Alex Kiseragi is up first, he turns to Medos who is up to one knee...SHINING WIZARD!

Covert Jay: Just a small example of my ability to foresee the future.

Vinegar: Savana comes up behind A-Kis, spins him round....Sit Down Jawbreaker. He springs up to the top rope, and the fans are going wild, he looks around at them, and for the first time in a long time he performs his taunt, turning his enck 180 degree's and popping it, left and right....and then he springs...SAVANA'S SUICIDE DIVE!

Lieberjosch: NO! He left it too late and A-Kis is able to roll out of the way, and Savana lands flat on his back, The Dragon gets to his feet, only for Medos to chop him in the midsection doubling him over, he runs the ropes comes back...but A_kis is ready...lifts him...

Covert jay: ALARM CLOCK!

Vinegar: The awesome weapon that is Kiseragi's right knee and leg crashes into Medos' midsection...and he makes the cover...

1...


Lieberjosch: Savana struggling to his feet...


2...

Lieberjosch: He runs towards the cover....


3!!!

Lieberjosch: he breaks the pin a fraction too late!

Covert Jay: Isn't that just the story of this week!

Dennis: Here is your winner....ALLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEXXXXX KIIIIIIIIISSSSSSEEEERRRRAAAAAGGGGGIIIIII!!!!

Vinegar: The Dragon continues his impressive run of form here in UGWC, but it could have been oh so different if Andy Savana's timing had been a little bit better. The man who was a laughing stock just weeks ago turned in a valiant performance tonight, outperforming one of Donovan Hastings opponents at Revolution, but the story is all about the victor, Alex Kiseragi, a man who can seemingly predict the unpredictable...

Lieberjosch: Savana may have improved, but he's still some way off of reaching the class and skill of The Dragon, who made another compelling case for himself tonight.

Covert jay: And I could have told you all of this four hours ago...

Vinegar: Well folks, thanks for joining us, and remember next week we'll find out who will earn the right to face the unenviable task of attempting to beat The Dragon for the Cross-Hemisphere Title, as Revolution gets even closer...GOODNIGHT!

[T-Robosaurus Rex]

Credits

Opener
T-Rob

Ground Zero
JK & Enigma

JK vs Pierce
Donovan

Phrixus vs Russo
Donovan

Chaos Title Battle Royale
Tyvola

Cooperative Match
JK

Main Event
T-Rob

[Red Bull Icon]

ha, batty.

[Alex Kiseragi]

Best feed ever.

For the sake of being actually useful. Given the problems it all came together nicely. The only thing that brought it down was the no shows which just make it all predictable but thats no criticism of the match writers.

['The Cyclone' JK]

agreed^

it was an awesome show and everyone who helped put it together should be damn proud

[Sheena Ramone]

heey, I also worked on Ground Zero =(