Post by T-Robosaurus Rex on Feb 16, 2024 14:52:27 GMT -5
Previously on ‘Only Wrestlers in the Building’
X-Bro 420 was given his big break
Boss Penguin was exonerated
Donovan got excited over Taylor Swift
Tiffany became implicated in the crime of the cake.
.
X-Bro 420 was given his big break
Boss Penguin was exonerated
Donovan got excited over Taylor Swift
Tiffany became implicated in the crime of the cake.
.
-_-
Stability.
If you have it, you take it for granted.
If you don’t it feels like a fantasy, something just as far fetched as winning the lottery.
As a 28 year old single mother of two boys, I have spent the better part of my adult life searching for it, no, that’s the wrong word, yearning for it.
It’s hard to search for something when you have no idea what it looks or feels like, but it doesn’t mean you don’t want it, that you don’t crave it with all your heart.
The only constant I ever had in my life was my mother. She was always there for me and the boys emotionally, but stability was a stranger to her too.
She wanted me to have the life she never had, she wanted me to have a family I could rely on, and to her that meant it was critical that I had a Father-figure, and boy did I have my fair share of them.
My Mom was a romantic, she was sure she was going to meet her Prince Charming and get her fairy-tale wedding
But that’s all it was, a fairy-tale.
A young girl from a poverty stricken household fails to get her High School Diploma, falls pregnant almost immediately after, and stalls her life as she tries to raise her young daughter all on her own. Just as things look darkest, a handsome, kind and caring gentleman falls in love with her and they live happily ever after.
I’ve got news for you, Prince Charming does not exist.
I should know, Mom married three of them.
What kind of man do you think is attracted to a woman with as much baggage as my Mom had?
A guy who has his own shit together?
A sensitive and caring type?
Someone who can see her inner beauty?
Someone that respects the struggle she has gone through?
A good person?
If that’s what you think, you’ve watched too many rom-coms, that’s not reality, trust me on this.
And so, we never had stability, mistake followed by mistake, and my mother would tell me how sorry she was, and she truly was, but it would happen again and again and again.
And then I fell pregnant, and I am, after all, my mothers daughter, so the cycle continued.
So the generational search for the mythical beast of Stability continued with me and my boys.
And it led me here, to The Laconia.
As is clear I am no expert, but whisper it quietly, I may have found what I was looking for in the most unlikely of places.
-_-
Last week:
We rejoin the scene that ended the last instalment of Only Wrestlers in the Building, with Donovan and Travis staring at each other after Tiffany had taken an earring that had been found in Forewells apartment, an act that unbeknownst to her threw the duo’s suspicions upon her.
Donovan: So the cake desecrating fiend we have been chasing all this time has been living with you right under your nose? That tracks.
Travis shakes his head in disbelief.
Travis: I can’t believe it…
Donovan: Is it really that hard? You saw her during the interrogation, she’s got a temper, and knows how to handle herself.
Travis: You’d have an edge too if my sister was your mother, there is a reason I never mentioned her, frankly the fact Tiff has turned out as well as she has is a miracle.
Donovan: So we’re in agreement, we have a new prime suspect.
Travis: She would have told me, she wouldn’t do this, there must be an explanation.
Donovan: I think it’s pretty clear, she moved in with you to get close access to the Killer and his Kitchen, got close to you to make you blinded by your affection for her and then when we started investigating she got involved to throw us off her scent. Classic sociopathic behaviour, I should know.
X-Bro is sat on his sofa happily watching this unfold.
X-Bro: She looks guilty as hell, if you ask me.
Travis: I didn’t.
Donovan: We’ll talk to her when she gets back, we’ll get the truth then.
Travis: No, no…let me do it on my own.
Donovan: You know you are going to have to kick her out, don’t you? She’s been lying to your face this entire time, and once this comes out if you don’t everyone will think you were in on it.
Travis doesn’t respond but gives a small, dejected, nod of his head.
-_-
This week:
The door to Wrestley McWrestlefaces office in The Laconia is thrown open and Travis ROberts storms in and flourishes a piece of paper in Wrestley’s face.
Travis: You’re kicking ME out!?!?!
Wrestley sits shaking at his desk.
WMcW: Welll…ummmm…you see…
Deider rises from her desk and walks over confidently.
Deidre: HE isn’t doing anything, it’s the Resident’s Association who made the decision
Travis: There is a criminal running amok in this building and THIS is what they spend their time doing?
Deidre: That’s precisely WHY they are doing this. Before this you may have contributed nothing to this building, but at least you kept yourself to yourself. Now you have your nose in everyone’s business, kidnapping doormen, taking over other residents' apartments and generally being, pardon my language, an utter dick.
Travis: They can’t do this! I wish to appeal to the highest authority.
Deidre: If you bothered to read the building's bylaws when you moved in you’d know they can, indeed, do this. And when it comes to approval of residents they ARE the highest authority.
Travis looks imploringly at Wrestley.
Travis: Surely there is something you can do? You know I don’t have anywhere else to go, and you NEED me to find the cake smasher, how will anyone feel safe in their homes if you don’t let us continue our investigation.
Desidre: They don’t feel safe in their homes now! They’re all delirious with worry that you’re going to make them room with Konrad Raab or Ragdoll! And why would he want to do anythingfor you? You’ve never done ANYTHING for him, or this building, despite the generosity and forgiveness he has shown you.
Travis: There has to be something I can do?
WMcW: Well…
Desidre’s head snaps around and she glares at McWrestleyface.
Deidre: You can’t be serious. Don’t even think about it!
Travis looks between the both of them as Wrestley stays silent.
Travis: What? What is it?
Deidre keeps her eyes focused on El Flippy Loco.
Deidre: He won’t do it anyway, you’ll be wasting your breath and it’s time he could spend packing his stuff!
WMcW: But…
Deidre throws her hands up in frustration and defeat, before stomping back over to her own desk muttering under her breath.
Travis: What do you want me to do?
WMcW: Well Todd mentioned that we might get you to make your return to UGWC at Infinity…
Travis jaw locks and he stands in silence.
WMcW: It would really help the building, a PPV appearance fee, that might go a long way to placating the other residents…
Travis: Fine.
WMcW: And then maybe you can keep looking into this ‘crime’ and then you can…wait…what did you just say?
Travis: I’ll do it.
He turns and walks out of the door, closing it softly as he exits. Wrestley looks over at Deidre with his mouth open, she winks at him.
Deidre: Told you it would work.
-_-
A few days later
Tiffany’s two boys, Joseph and Samuel, are both in tears on Travis’ sofa, their mother is trying to console them while Travis sits on his dishevelled Laz-E-boy.
Tiffany: What happened boys?
Joseph: Everyone is laughing at us!
Samuel: They called us stupid idiots!
Tiffany: Neither of you are stupid!
Samuel: Yes we are!
Tiffany: Why would you say such a horrible thing about yourselves?
Joseph: Because we believed HIM!
Both the boys point their fingers at Travis accusingly.
Joseph: We told them our Uncle Travis was a huge star, and that he was going to make his big return, and it was going to be all anyone was talking about, and it was going to be the greatest thing any of them had ever seen!
Samuel: And then Timmy Federling got a notification on his phone and the matches for Infinity were announced…
Joseph: And everyone laughed at us, but they wouldn’t show us why, so Sam grabbed his phone and we saw…
Samuel: Uncle Travis is a big lying ass head!
Tiffany: Don’t speak like that about your Uncle…
Travis: It’s not their fault, they’re right. I am an embarrassment. I’m an ass head
Tiffany: It can’t be that bad.
Joseph: it IS, he’s got a match with the Dark Destroyer!
Tiffany looks blankly at them.
Tiffany: Is that bad?
Joseph, Samuel and Travis reply at the same time with a resounding ‘Yes!’
Tiffany: Is that why you’re sad? Are you worried your Uncle is going to get hurt? I know The Dark Destroyer sounds scary, but your Uncle has a lot of experience…
Samuel: He isn’t scary, he’s a joke!
Joseph: He’s the guy UGWC keeps around so that people like John Blade don’t look so bad!
Samuel: He is silly and only faces stupid people! He does stupid things, he can barely walk!
Tiffany: Is he the skinny guy who wears the facepaint and falls over a lot?
The boys both nod as they sniffle on the sofa.
Tiffany: Ahhh, ok, this is bad..
Travis: Yes.
Joseph: HE LIED TO US!
The boys both get up and run to the bedroom slamming the door behind them, Tiffany and Travis sit in an awkward silence for a few minutes before Travis starts to speak.
Travis: I just wanted to impress them.
Tiffany: I know, they’ll get over it.
Travis shakes his head.
Travis: No they won’t, their credibility will never recover from this. I just wanted them to look at me like they do Donny when he comes over.
Tiffany: Let me stop you right there, if Donovan is the measuring stick for anything you’ve taken a severe misstep.
Travis: You don’t understand, it kills me every time they sit amazed by his stories, in awe of his mere presence! Nothing I’ve ever done interests them because they don’t care about what I did in the ‘old days’, they don’t know any of the people I faced and the achievements I gained. I thought if I came back and faced one of the newer guys that they know they’d see me like they see him! They’d be impressed and see that I am a big deal too!
Tiffany: They’re kids, Uncle T, last week Zeph was adamant Deidre was a witch, they don’t know what they’re talking about.
Travis: But they do! That's the whole point! It’s very possible he is right about the old hag, and UGWC booking me against The Dark Destroyer in my first match in over 3 years is an insult! Worst than that, it’s like they have no confidence that I can perform like I used to, so they put me in a novelty match! Zeph and Sam might be young, but they’re smart kids, they can see this means I’m not the legend I said I was, that I am just a punchline, a joke!
Tiffany: Well, can’t you just prove everyone wrong?
Travis: That’s just it! You can’t prove anything against the Dark Destroyer! Would you be impressed by someone beating up a three legged, one eyed puppy while it was having an epileptic fit?
Tiffany: Obviously not but I’m not sure why you’d make that comparison.
Travis rolls his eyes.
Travis: Because you don’t watch UGWC!
Tiffany: Neither do you!
Travis: The Destroyer was around before I left, and judging by the boys' reactions there has been no improvement since! What a glorious return UGWC have lined up for me! Opening the show with a goddamn joke! How am I meant to look anyone in the locker room in the eye when after three years away THIS is the best thing the company has got for me. You’d never believe that my matches used to be the most eagerly anticipated on the card, I was ‘The Headliner’, hell I still hold the record for longest World Championship reign in the company's history, and this is what I’ve become, a goddamn warm-up act!
Tiffany has nothing to say and an awkward silence befalls the room until Travis starts up again.
Travis: And the cherry on top of this cake? Alan of all people will be closing the show defending the World Heavyweight Championship! I died and went to hell, didn’t I?
Tiffany: That’s a bit dramatic, isn’t it? Look it’s a paycheque, and a way back in, the only way is up, right?
Travis: Tell me you haven’t followed my career without telling me you haven’t followed my career! I should have seen this coming, there was a reason I resisted coming back for so long, and this is it! I knew no-one in UGWC valued me!
Tiffany: I’m sure that’s not the case, haven’t they been trying for a while to get you to return?
Travis: That’s precisely my point! The best case scenario is that they are hoping me and The Destroyer form some kind of unlikely bond and that I’ll end up teaming with him and yet again carry another person into relevancy on my own back! They’ve probably even got some reductive name planned, probably The Blessed Destroyers or something equally unimaginative, I bet the merchandise has already been designed. Not that anyone would buy it.
Travis then shakes his head vigorously and slaps himself around the face.
Travis: Jesus Travis! You know how this works by now, why on earth would you put THAT out there into the universe? Deimos is probably taking notes from the garbage disposal as we speak! Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!
Tiffany sighs.
Tiffany: Nothing you just said makes any sense.
Travis smiles for the first time, but there is no amusement in his expression
Travis: Sense? In UGWC? HA! You sweet summer child!
His head sinks into his hands.
Travis: I’m doomed.
-_-
Friday
Travis, Joseph and Samuel are sat on the sofa flicking through a book, the boys don’t look particularly enthused, and they leap of the sofa when the door to the apartment swings open and Donovan Hastings struts in.
Donovan: I come bearing good news!
Travis looks around in a confused manner before responding.
Travis: You have a key to my apartment?
Donovan: While that is indeed a blessing, that is not the news.
Travis: Let me rephrase that, how the hell did you get a key to my apartment?
Donovan looks at Travis and raises an eyebrow.
Donovan: Is that a rabbit hole you really want to dive down?
Travis shakes his head in defeated despair.
Travis: Reason number 87 of why I didn’t want to return to UGWC.
Donovan: Aha! That’s precisely why I am here. You no longer have the ignominy of facing the Dark Destroyer!
Travis: Let me guess, they replaced him with Old Lady Levine? I suppose I should be thankful to be in the ring with someone who likely has better control of their bladder.
Donovan: Nope, you’re facing A Boy Named Jess!
Travis: Who?
Joseph and Samuel look at each other and smile.
Joseph: You got Cashe’s spot!
Travis: Who?
Samuel: He was a big doofus who thought he was better than the Coaltion who entered the Global Challenge and when he lost his chance to win it ran away!
Joseph: Like that time Jimmy McMillan didn’t make the basketball team and he peed his pants and ran crying to his mommy who made a complaint to the Principle!
Samuel: We call him Jimminy Piss-it The Mommy Tattler now.
Joseph: Jimminy could never get a girl as pretty as Sloane, though.
Travis: He was dating Sloane?
Samuel: He married her after she split up with Seb.
Travis: Married?
Travis shakes his head in disbelief.
Travis: I didn’t have a lot of respect for Sebastian, but I thought he’d be smart enough not to entangle himself in that web of obvious despair and misery, and if this Cashe guy went as far as marrying her it’s not really a surprise he jumped ship while throwing some shade on his way out of the door the moment things didn’t go his way, they must be soul mates.
Travis turns to Donovan.
Travis: So if I remember correctly the Global Challenge is now a convoluted tournament that spans the entire cycle before Infinity, rather than the traditional one night tournament?
Donovan: Yes.
Travis: So what am I fighting for? Where did these guys finish?
Donovan: Oh no, Jess gets the rewards for competing in the tournament, and you are now his opponent in a regular match.
Travis narrows his eyes.
Travis: So let me get this straight, your good news is that I am a substitute!
Donovan: Well…
Travis: Did it look like I was finished?
Donovan: Does it ever?
Travis: Not only do they insult me by initially giving me the Dark Destroyer as my return match, now they want me to come in and clean up a mess that, quite frankly, they should have seen coming the minute they accepted Mr Sloane Taylor’s application for the Global Challenge? Do I look like Bones the Janitor?
Donovan: There is a resemblance but you have better hair and play with your nipples a bit less.
Travis ignores Donovan’s comment and starts pacing around the room.
Travis: This is so typical of the Coalition! Always so focused on bringing in the newest shiny thing and then when they inevitably can’t co-exist in the unique eco-system that is UGWC they expect the reliable stalwarts to step up and cover for the self-righteous assholes that never had any intention of earning the privileges they get handed! Why on earth did I agree to this?
Donovan: From what I hear you really didn’t have much choice.
Travis: And they expect me to face someone else with all of two days notice! After I have been preparing to face a completely different opponent, this is how they run their affairs?
Donovan gives Travis a quizzical look.
Donovan: How exactly were you preparing for the Destroyer?
Travis: That’s hardly the point.
He boys take the opportunity to chime in at this point.
Joseph: He’s been watching old black and white movies about some brothers called Mark.
Samuel: He laughed a lot, but I didn’t think there was anything funny about them, and why were they all called Mark?
Joseph: And there was only ONE Monkey! You can’t run a business with just ONE monkey, you need at least three, everybody knows that.
Samuel: Old people stuff doesn’t make any sense.
Joseph: Just like that Year Book Uncle Travis was showing us when you came in, it has nothing to do with years, it’s just a bunch of pictures of people in silly clothes.
Donovan looks over at the book discarded on the sofa and quickly grabs it.
Donovan: Your Yearbook, I have to see this…
He flicks through some pages and after a few seconds smiles, turning the page towards the others in the room, and displaying the picture of a young Travis Roberts with ridiculously oversized sideburns and circular John Lennon style sunglasses. He then reads out the caption beneath it. Travis sighs.
Donovan: Travis Roberts: Most Likely to Die in a Ditch.
Donovan looks around Travis’ decrepit apartment.
Donovan: You sure showed them!
Travis: We’re getting side-tracked, who is this Jess guy, then?
Donovan: He’s pretty new to the place, really eager to prove himself.
Travis: Aren’t we all?
Donovan: Speak for yourself! In two days time I will once again be the UGWC World Heavyweight Champion when I remind Alan Wallace that my success is just an inevitabilit…
Travis snaps his fingers repeatedly until Donovan stops talking.
Travis: We’re talking about ME right now, remember?
Donovan: I just thought we could perhaps focus on one of the biggest matches of my career…
Travis: I’m sure you’ve got keys to other apartments where you can do that, right now I have to cram about this Jess person.
Donovan: I don’t exactly run in the same circles as him, as we have indicated previously he finished second in his group in the Global Challenge.
Travis: So he’s inconsistent.
Donovan: He has an association with SEB.
Travis: Poor decision making skills. Got it.
Donovan: He’s British, so your years at College over there should make him easier for you to understand than he is for the rest of us.
Travis: He has at least an element of sophistication and intelligence, then. Noted.
Donovan: He’s on the comeback trail too, so in many ways he’s just finding his feet again.
Travis: We’re running in the same race, but he’s had a head start and we can’t be sure just what he is capable of, so there is an element of danger and unpredictability.
Donovan: And as we have discussed the very thought of facing him and losing sent Jason Cashe running back to the comfort of Sloane’s ever validating bosom.
Travis: You could say that his presence in UGWC is already a net positive for the company then. Good to know. You bring up a good point, we’re missing one important detail.
Donovan: What’s that?
Travis: Has he ever simped for Sloane Taylor?
Donovan: Not to my knowledge, but in this day and age who can say?
Donovan shrugs.
Travis: So we can’t rule out him being an easily led, horny, simpleton.
Joseph: I think he’s got a wife and family.
Travis: When you grow up you’ll learn that doesn’t always factor into the equation, kid, especially when it comes to the likes of her.
Samuel: She’s really pretty though!
Travis: That’s how they get you, kiddo! One minute they’re flapping their overly made up eyelashes at you, the next minute your balls are firmly tucked away in their purse and any semblance of self you once had has been overshadowed by their ultimate desire to be the centre of everyone’s universe.
Donovan: That reminds me, can I have a word?
Donovan motions to the kitchen and both he and Travis walk over and Donovan lowers his voice.
Donovan: As insightful as they both are, I can’t help but notice they are still here, which suggests their mother is too. You haven’t confronted her yet, have you?
Travis: It’s been a bit busy, as you know.
Donovan: Don’t give me that! You thought you were facing the Destroyer, that's hardly a good enough reason for you to ignore the fact you have a cold blooded criminal living under your crumbling roof! Take your own advice, Trav, don’t let a pretty young girl take YOU for a fool.
Travis: I hope you’re not suggested I am attracted to my niece, Donny.
Donovan: I’m not suggesting anything, I am telling you that this girl has you wrapped around her little finger and just like the very people you scoffed at moments ago you can’t see it!
Travis clenches his jaw.
Travis: I think you should leave.
Donovan shakes his head in disappointment and turns to leave.
Donovan: See you around, boys.
Donovan walks out of the apartment and waits for the elevator, which is working for a change, when it opens Tiffany is stood in front of him.
Tiffany: Hi Donny!
Donovan: Actually it’s Donovan, I hate it when he calls me that.
Tiff shrugs and looks to get off the elevator, but Donovan jumps in.
Donovan: Take a ride with me, will you?
Tiffany looks perplexed but shrugs and remains in the elevator. When the doors close and it starts to descend Donovan hits the emergency stop button. Tiffany instinctively reaches into her purse.
Donovan: Relax, I just want to talk.
Tiffany narrows her eyes and her grip tightens around whatever she had reached for in her purse.
Tiffany: Mmmmhmmm?
Donovan: Nice earrings.
Tiffany: You’re not making this any better…Donny.
Donovan: You misunderstand me, I’ve been meaning to tell you how nice they are ever since Travis found the one you lost…in Forewell’s apartment.
Tiffany’s face goes pale and her hand relaxes.
Tiffany: Oh.
Donovan: Oh, indeed.
Tiffany: Would you believe me if I told you I was sleeping with Mr Boding?
Donovan can’t help but chuckle.
Donovan: By worming your way into Travis’ life you’ve already proven yourself to be smarter than that. The two of us may have our issues, but at the end of the day he is my friend, so you need to tell me why you destroyed the cake!
Tiffany: I didn’t!
Donovan: Talk!
-_-
When Mom died last year, and my one anchor in this world was lost, my need for stability for what remained of my family reached an urgency I hadn’t felt before. It was like a critical heaving mass bearing down on me, I could almost feel it pulsating around me everywhere I went, and it was inescapable, ever present in every decision I made.
Mom didn’t have much, but I kept one thing and I kept it with me always, it was my one hope, the last glimmering indication that I might find what I was looking for. This one clue became the map on the hunt that had become my only goal in life.
When the search becomes all consuming, it can lead you to some very strange places, make you do some very strange things.
Like breaking into the apartment of a Private Investigator slash Professional Wrestler in the ass end of New Jersey.
Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t the first time I had forced entry into someone else's abode, a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do, right?
But travelling halfway across the country, with two children in tow, with the vaguest idea of a plan to steal information from the believer of some of the most absurd conspiracy theories that have ever been uttered. That’s the actions of a desperate person at their wits end.
So yes, I was in Forewell Bodings apartment, but it was weeks before the night of the cake desecration. I got onto his computer and found the information I was looking for.
And all because I kept a picture of my Mom and...
-_-
In the elevator a tearful Tiffany reaches into her purse and hands a photo to Donovan and his jaw drops open.
In the picture is Tiffany’s mother when she was young, lying in a field with her head on the chest of a boy with ridiculously oversized sideburns and circular John Lennon style sunglasses.
Tiffany: You can’t tell him.
2013, '18, '23 
2013 