Post by Mr.Ego on Mar 8, 2024 23:55:36 GMT -5
Monday, March 4, 2024 - Chicago, Illinois: UGWC Arena
Wallace smiles as he extends his hand and the two men shake. JC half-nods at Vain, before turning and exiting the dressing room.
Alan: Clear the rest of my schedule, Simon. We have some things to discuss.
Simon walks over and shuts the door to the dressing room, slowly turning back towards his friend and client.
Simon: You aren't seriously considering that, are you Alan?
Alan tilts his head as he looks over towards him, a look of confusion beginning to form on his face. He then begins to look around the room.
Alan: I could have sworn I said that out loud…
Simon: Yes, Alan. I heard you.
The World Champion then begins to meander about the dressing room, sadly shaking his head from side to side.
Alan: Maybe the acoustics have started to go bad. I've mentioned that very concern to Ooley, but it apparently has fallen on deaf ears.
Simon: I said I heard you, Alan!
Alan turns back towards his advocate, completely stone-faced.
Alan: Must I repeat myself then, Simon?
Simon reaches into his pocket and rips his phone out. Solidly tapping on the screen, he then turns it towards Alan.
Simon: You don't have anything else on your schedule, Alan. The show is almost over, and we're ready to head to the airport. You know that!
Alan mulls it over for a moment, before breaking out into a wide grin.
Alan: Well why didn't you say so, Simon!
Alan slaps him hard on the shoulder, before maneuvering around him and walking over towards his locker. Simon exhales slowly, and then turns around.
Simon: I'm to the point where I never know if you're serious, or just messing with me.
Alan: Well then, sounds like my plan is perfectly coming to fruition.
Simon: Can we circle back to the matter at hand, Alan? Please tell me that you aren't seriously considering JC's offer?
Alan: It seems like a reasonable offer, Simon.
Simon just stares at him, but says nothing. Alan notices the look and smiles.
Alan: Everyone knows how the relationship between JC and Mr. Knox has deteriorated. The two men detest one another now. Yet, I doubt there is anyone in the company that knows Mr. Knox better. The amount of information that JC could share may prove to be invaluable come Alchemy.
Simon walks over beside of Alan, and leans against the wall.
Simon: While all of that is true, there is still the very real possibility that JC could seize an opportunity to strike out at the man who holds the championship that he may covet the most.
Alan pulls his bag from his locker, and then slams it shut.
Alan: I don't believe you are giving JC as much credit as he deserves, Simon.
The response elicits raised eyebrows from Simon.
Simon: So… you're saying that you trust JC?
The question causes Vain to yell out in laughter. After a few seconds, he wipes at the corner of his eye.
Alan: Heaven's no, Simon. I wasn't born yesterday. Hell, you're lucky that I trust you.
He begins to laugh again as he heads towards the door, Simon grabbing his bag and following behind. As they exit the dressing room and begin heading down the long hallway, Alan cranes his neck around and looks back at Simon.
Alan: You're sure my schedule is clear for the rest of the day? I could have sworn there was something else of importance that I needed to attend to.
Tuesday, March 5, 2024 - Miami, Florida: Wallace/Worth Estate (i.e. Vain Manor)
Alan groggily steps into the kitchen, slowly making his way towards the coffee pot. Pouring himself a cup, he takes a sip.
Alan: Ahhh… that really hit the spot.
He attempts another sip, but a voice from behind causes him to slightly jump, resulting in him spilling coffee down his shirt.
Celeste: Glad you could visit the land of the living, Alan. Of course it is after two. You might as well just go back to bed. The day is half over already.
Alan walks over to where she sits, leaning down and giving her a kiss on the cheek that she no-sells.
Alan: You scared me, my dear. What are you doing sitting in here all by yourself?
He pulls the chair out to the left of her and takes a seat.
Celeste: I was just sitting here wondering why my husband felt the need to sleep the day away today?
Alan: Something I do not typically do, that is for certain. Simon and I didn't arrive until early in the morning from Chicago. We had some things that we needed to discuss before we left the arena, and then there were a few minor issues at the airport that had to be taken care of before we could take off.
Celeste slightly nods as she stares straight ahead.
Celeste: Well I hope you were able to iron out all of those important items of discussion. It's not like I had a doctor's appointment scheduled this morning or anything.
The realization hits Alan like a ton of bricks, causing him to immediately hang his head.
Alan: The doctor appointment! I knew there was something important on my schedule, but I thought it was yesterday.
Now she turns and looks at him, and if looks could kill, well…
Celeste: We specifically made the appointment for Tuesday, because you couldn't be assed to ask for yesterday off, Alan!
Alan leans forward and places his hand on her knee.
Alan: I am so, so, so sorry, Celeste. I would never purposely set out to forget something so important. I hope you know that.
Her stance softens a bit, though she is still quite visibly upset.
Celeste: I know you wouldn't purposely do it, Alan. But it still happened!
Alan: I feel terrible, baby. I was in my own little world during the show, and it just completely slipped my mind. I can't believe I'm such a shitty husband and soon-to-be father.
Celeste softens even more.
Celeste: You aren't a shitty husband or father, Alan. I never said that.
Alan: Then how else can you explain my actions resulting in you being forced to go to the appointment by yourself, Celeste?
Celeste: I never said that I went by myself, Alan.
Alan leans back and eyes her quizzically.
Alan: You didn't?
Celeste: No Alan, I didn't. Alexandra went with me.
Alan begins searching through his memories, an 'Alexandra' not ringing a bell.
Alan: Do I know an Alexandra?
The question causes Celeste to roll her eyes.
Celeste: Yes you know an Alexandra, Alan. Alexandra Burke.
Alan: Alexandra Burke?
For the life of him, he can't place the name, even though he knows he remembers it from somewhere.
Alan: Why do I know that name?
Celeste: Oh for the love of God, Alan. It's Xandy. Alexandra Burke is Xandy!
Alan quickly rises to his feet.
Alan: As in the wife of that drunken imbecile Chad Anthony?!
Celeste: Old lady.
Alan: I… what?
Celeste: She's his old lady. They aren't married. Well, at least I don't think they're married.
Alan begins pacing back and forth.
Alan: Why are you allowing such a person to accompany you to a doctor's appointment? You don't even know her! And she's filth!
Celeste quickly rising to her feet. Well, as quickly as a nearly full-term mother can move, anyhow.
Celeste: I used to work at Mixxxie's, Alan… or did you forget? And do not call her filth! She is a great person, and has always treated me with the utmost respect! Just because you two jackasses can't get along doesn't mean that she and I don't!
The outburst stuns him to the point where he is speechless. Which almost never happens. And Celeste isn't finished.
Celeste: Besides… she was there when I needed her. You weren't.
Ouch.
Alan: You're right, Celeste. You're right. It's just… surprising, I guess. Aren't they still wallowing in their own stupidit-
Celeste: Alan!
He raises his hands up, shaking his head.
Alan: Sorry, old habits. Aren't they still living in New Orleans? I know she didn't just hop a plane to go to a doctor's appointment.
Celeste: Of course not, that would be ridiculous. Her and Sherry were in town for a mutual friends birthday. She texted me and asked if I wanted to get breakfast. We went, I complained about you, and she offered to go with me.
The two then sit in silence for what feels like an uncomfortable amount of time.
Alan: I don’t know what to say, Celeste.
Celeste: Well, you could ask how the appointment went, Alan.
He sheepishly smiles.
Alan: How did the appointment go, Celeste. What did the doctor say?
Celeste: Her belly is still measuring slightly small, though it isn't as bad as it had been. I'm currently two centimeters dilated, with eighty to ninety percent effacement.
Alan: Yeah… I don't know what any of that means.
Celeste laughs.
Celeste: It means that she could be here any time, though if she decides to be stubborn like her father, they've scheduled to induce next Tuesday. Think you can be in town and awake on that day?
Alan walks over and places his hand on her belly, before giving her a long kiss.
Alan: I can't wait to begin raising a child with you.
Friday, March 8, 2024 - Miami, Florida: Wallace/Worth Estate (i.e. Vain Manor)
Alan: I'm telling you, baby… it's going to be gold. It's going set us up perfectly for life after wrestling!
Alan is excitedly explaining things in the bedroom, as a still very pregnant Celeste Worth lays uncomfortably in the bed.
Celeste: Do we really have to do this now, Alan? Pardon my language, but I am absolutely fucking miserable. I don't have the patience for this right now.
Alan: I know, baby. And I wish she would decide to come, too. But at the very least… aren't I at least keeping your mind off of things?
Celeste: No. No you aren't.
Alan: Ok… picture this…
====================
(The door partially opens, a head popping through and surveying the room.)
Sebastaban: Creo que la costa está despejada. (I think the coast is clear.)
Estababs: ¿Está seguro? Ya sabes cómo puede ser. (Are you sure? You know how he can be.)
Sebastaban: ¿Por qué cree que es tu mejor amigo otra vez? Realmente nunca lo has explicado. (Why does he think he's your best friend again? You've never really explained it.)
Estababs: ¿Porque está jodidamente loco? (Because he's fucking mental?)
Sebastaban: ¿Es esa la única razón? (Is that the only reason?)
Estababs: Lo has conocido. ¿Tiene que haber otra razón? (You've met him. Does there need to be another reason?)
Sebastaban: Un punto válido, por cierto. (A valid point, indeed.)
Alanjandro: ¡Hola mejores amigas! ¡No pensé que alguna vez regresarías! (Hey besties! I didn't think you'd ever return!)
Sebastaban: ¿Soy ahora su mejor amiga también? (Am I now his bestie too?)
Estababs: Bienvenida al infierno. (Welcome to Hell.)
Alanjandro: ¡Llegas justo a tiempo! ¡Hice tacos! (You're just in time! I made tacos!)
Estababs: ¡¿Por qué?! ¡¿Por qué?! (Why?! Why?!)
~
Sebastaban: No puedo esperar a terminar con esto. (I can't wait to be done with this.)
Estababs: Predicando al coro. He estado diciendo lo mismo desde que lo conocí. (Preaching to the choir. I've been saying the same thing ever since I met him.)
Sebastaban: ¿Cómo nos vimos envueltos en esta tontería? (How did we get wrapped up in this nonsense?)
Estababs: Bueno, alguien pensó que sería una buena idea. Por qué, no lo sé. (Well, someone thought it would be a good idea. Why, I don't know.)
Sebastaban: Parecía una buena idea en ese momento. (It seemed like a good idea at the time.)
Estababs: ¿Pero un torneo de Yahtzee en el que se expulsa a la gente del apartamento? ¿Cómo va a ayudar eso en algo? (But a Yahtzee tournament where people are voted out of the apartment? How is that going to help with anything?)
Sebastaban: Bueno, hasta ahora ha funcionado. Ahora son dos contra uno, las probabilidades están completamente en su contra. (Well it's worked out thus far. It is now two against one, the odds are completely stacked against him.)
Estababs: ¿Lo son? Conoces su historial. (Are they though? You know his track record.)
Sebastaban: Sí, pero también superamos con creces las habilidades de Travis Roberts. (Yes, but we also far exceed the skills of Travis Roberts.)
Estababs: ¿Habilidades? ¿En realidad? ¿Realmente se necesita habilidad para ganar en Yahtzee? (Skills? Really? Does it really take skill to win at Yahtzee?)
Alanjandro: ¡Despierten los somnolientos! ¡Hice burritos! (Wake up sleepy heads! I made burritos!)
Estababs: ¡¿Por qué?! ¡¿Por qué?! (Why?! Why?!)
~
Sebastaban: No puedo creer que esto haya sucedido. (I can't believe this happened.)
Estababs: intenté decírtelo. (I tried to tell you.)
Sebastaban: No lo entiendo. Teníamos las probabilidades. Teníamos el intelecto. Lo teníamos superado en personal. ¿Cómo pasó esto? (I don't understand it. We had the odds. We had the intellect. We had him out-manned. How did this happen?)
Estababs: Siempre puedes preguntarle a Travis Roberts. Nuestras habilidades en Yahtzee aparentemente coinciden con las suyas. (You could always ask Travis Roberts. Our skills at Yahtzee apparently match his.)
Sebastaban: No pensé que las cosas pudieran empeorar después de Horizons. Sin embargo, aquí estamos. (I didn't think things could get any worse after Horizons. Yet, here we are.)
Estababs: Estoy acostumbrado a eso. Y lo odio por eso. (I'm used to it. And I hate him for it.)
Alanjandro: ¡Enchiladas de celebración para todas! (Celebratory enchiladas for everyone!)
Sebastaban: ¿Cree que se jubilará pronto? (Think he will retire again soon?)
Estababs: ¡Dios mío, eso espero! (My god, I fucking hope so!)
====================
Celeste sits there, her mouth agape. Alan was right. The sheer stupidity of it all has definitely taken her mind off of being miserably pregnant.
Celeste: I… I don't think I understand.
Alan: Ratings would be through the roof! We could live off of the royalties alone for the rest of our lives!
Celeste: And… who would play the roles of the 'stars'?
Alan roars out in laughter, startling Celeste to the point of almost jumping.
Alan: Well I would play the lead role. Obviously.
Celeste: There was a lead role?
Alan pays no attention to her question.
Alan: For the roles of Sebastaban and Estababs, I'm sure we could get members of the defunct #Chill roster to fill them. They aren't doing anything else anyway.
Celeste: And a show about… Yahtzee… could be made into something that we could - in your own words - 'live off of the royalties alone for the rest of our lives'?
Alan: The show itself isn't about Yahtzee. Just that episode. Honestly, the show is really about nothing at all.
Celeste: So, like 'Seinfeld'?
Alan: Yes, only funny.
Celeste sits there and processes it for a moment, as Alan looks at her in eager anticipation. She finally looks back up at him.
Celeste: But why is it in Spanish?
Alan: Because filming it in English is too mainstream.
Celeste nods as she slowly makes her way to her feet. Walking over to Alan, she leans up and kisses him on the cheek, before then slowly making her way to the master bathroom.
Celeste: You're an idiot. It's a good thing I love you.
She walks into the bathroom and closes the door behind her. Alan stands there for a moment, before turning and walking over to the bed, and sitting down on it.
Alan: That's obviously just the hormones talking.
FIN
#OOC - I relied on Google Translate for the Spanish parts, because I haven't taken Spanish in 30 years. So, for our Spanish speaking members... if shit is wrong, blame the Googles.
Wallace smiles as he extends his hand and the two men shake. JC half-nods at Vain, before turning and exiting the dressing room.
Alan: Clear the rest of my schedule, Simon. We have some things to discuss.
Simon walks over and shuts the door to the dressing room, slowly turning back towards his friend and client.
Simon: You aren't seriously considering that, are you Alan?
Alan tilts his head as he looks over towards him, a look of confusion beginning to form on his face. He then begins to look around the room.
Alan: I could have sworn I said that out loud…
Simon: Yes, Alan. I heard you.
The World Champion then begins to meander about the dressing room, sadly shaking his head from side to side.
Alan: Maybe the acoustics have started to go bad. I've mentioned that very concern to Ooley, but it apparently has fallen on deaf ears.
Simon: I said I heard you, Alan!
Alan turns back towards his advocate, completely stone-faced.
Alan: Must I repeat myself then, Simon?
Simon reaches into his pocket and rips his phone out. Solidly tapping on the screen, he then turns it towards Alan.
Simon: You don't have anything else on your schedule, Alan. The show is almost over, and we're ready to head to the airport. You know that!
Alan mulls it over for a moment, before breaking out into a wide grin.
Alan: Well why didn't you say so, Simon!
Alan slaps him hard on the shoulder, before maneuvering around him and walking over towards his locker. Simon exhales slowly, and then turns around.
Simon: I'm to the point where I never know if you're serious, or just messing with me.
Alan: Well then, sounds like my plan is perfectly coming to fruition.
Simon: Can we circle back to the matter at hand, Alan? Please tell me that you aren't seriously considering JC's offer?
Alan: It seems like a reasonable offer, Simon.
Simon just stares at him, but says nothing. Alan notices the look and smiles.
Alan: Everyone knows how the relationship between JC and Mr. Knox has deteriorated. The two men detest one another now. Yet, I doubt there is anyone in the company that knows Mr. Knox better. The amount of information that JC could share may prove to be invaluable come Alchemy.
Simon walks over beside of Alan, and leans against the wall.
Simon: While all of that is true, there is still the very real possibility that JC could seize an opportunity to strike out at the man who holds the championship that he may covet the most.
Alan pulls his bag from his locker, and then slams it shut.
Alan: I don't believe you are giving JC as much credit as he deserves, Simon.
The response elicits raised eyebrows from Simon.
Simon: So… you're saying that you trust JC?
The question causes Vain to yell out in laughter. After a few seconds, he wipes at the corner of his eye.
Alan: Heaven's no, Simon. I wasn't born yesterday. Hell, you're lucky that I trust you.
He begins to laugh again as he heads towards the door, Simon grabbing his bag and following behind. As they exit the dressing room and begin heading down the long hallway, Alan cranes his neck around and looks back at Simon.
Alan: You're sure my schedule is clear for the rest of the day? I could have sworn there was something else of importance that I needed to attend to.
Tuesday, March 5, 2024 - Miami, Florida: Wallace/Worth Estate (i.e. Vain Manor)
Alan groggily steps into the kitchen, slowly making his way towards the coffee pot. Pouring himself a cup, he takes a sip.
Alan: Ahhh… that really hit the spot.
He attempts another sip, but a voice from behind causes him to slightly jump, resulting in him spilling coffee down his shirt.
Celeste: Glad you could visit the land of the living, Alan. Of course it is after two. You might as well just go back to bed. The day is half over already.
Alan walks over to where she sits, leaning down and giving her a kiss on the cheek that she no-sells.
Alan: You scared me, my dear. What are you doing sitting in here all by yourself?
He pulls the chair out to the left of her and takes a seat.
Celeste: I was just sitting here wondering why my husband felt the need to sleep the day away today?
Alan: Something I do not typically do, that is for certain. Simon and I didn't arrive until early in the morning from Chicago. We had some things that we needed to discuss before we left the arena, and then there were a few minor issues at the airport that had to be taken care of before we could take off.
Celeste slightly nods as she stares straight ahead.
Celeste: Well I hope you were able to iron out all of those important items of discussion. It's not like I had a doctor's appointment scheduled this morning or anything.
The realization hits Alan like a ton of bricks, causing him to immediately hang his head.
Alan: The doctor appointment! I knew there was something important on my schedule, but I thought it was yesterday.
Now she turns and looks at him, and if looks could kill, well…
Celeste: We specifically made the appointment for Tuesday, because you couldn't be assed to ask for yesterday off, Alan!
Alan leans forward and places his hand on her knee.
Alan: I am so, so, so sorry, Celeste. I would never purposely set out to forget something so important. I hope you know that.
Her stance softens a bit, though she is still quite visibly upset.
Celeste: I know you wouldn't purposely do it, Alan. But it still happened!
Alan: I feel terrible, baby. I was in my own little world during the show, and it just completely slipped my mind. I can't believe I'm such a shitty husband and soon-to-be father.
Celeste softens even more.
Celeste: You aren't a shitty husband or father, Alan. I never said that.
Alan: Then how else can you explain my actions resulting in you being forced to go to the appointment by yourself, Celeste?
Celeste: I never said that I went by myself, Alan.
Alan leans back and eyes her quizzically.
Alan: You didn't?
Celeste: No Alan, I didn't. Alexandra went with me.
Alan begins searching through his memories, an 'Alexandra' not ringing a bell.
Alan: Do I know an Alexandra?
The question causes Celeste to roll her eyes.
Celeste: Yes you know an Alexandra, Alan. Alexandra Burke.
Alan: Alexandra Burke?
For the life of him, he can't place the name, even though he knows he remembers it from somewhere.
Alan: Why do I know that name?
Celeste: Oh for the love of God, Alan. It's Xandy. Alexandra Burke is Xandy!
Alan quickly rises to his feet.
Alan: As in the wife of that drunken imbecile Chad Anthony?!
Celeste: Old lady.
Alan: I… what?
Celeste: She's his old lady. They aren't married. Well, at least I don't think they're married.
Alan begins pacing back and forth.
Alan: Why are you allowing such a person to accompany you to a doctor's appointment? You don't even know her! And she's filth!
Celeste quickly rising to her feet. Well, as quickly as a nearly full-term mother can move, anyhow.
Celeste: I used to work at Mixxxie's, Alan… or did you forget? And do not call her filth! She is a great person, and has always treated me with the utmost respect! Just because you two jackasses can't get along doesn't mean that she and I don't!
The outburst stuns him to the point where he is speechless. Which almost never happens. And Celeste isn't finished.
Celeste: Besides… she was there when I needed her. You weren't.
Ouch.
Alan: You're right, Celeste. You're right. It's just… surprising, I guess. Aren't they still wallowing in their own stupidit-
Celeste: Alan!
He raises his hands up, shaking his head.
Alan: Sorry, old habits. Aren't they still living in New Orleans? I know she didn't just hop a plane to go to a doctor's appointment.
Celeste: Of course not, that would be ridiculous. Her and Sherry were in town for a mutual friends birthday. She texted me and asked if I wanted to get breakfast. We went, I complained about you, and she offered to go with me.
The two then sit in silence for what feels like an uncomfortable amount of time.
Alan: I don’t know what to say, Celeste.
Celeste: Well, you could ask how the appointment went, Alan.
He sheepishly smiles.
Alan: How did the appointment go, Celeste. What did the doctor say?
Celeste: Her belly is still measuring slightly small, though it isn't as bad as it had been. I'm currently two centimeters dilated, with eighty to ninety percent effacement.
Alan: Yeah… I don't know what any of that means.
Celeste laughs.
Celeste: It means that she could be here any time, though if she decides to be stubborn like her father, they've scheduled to induce next Tuesday. Think you can be in town and awake on that day?
Alan walks over and places his hand on her belly, before giving her a long kiss.
Alan: I can't wait to begin raising a child with you.
Friday, March 8, 2024 - Miami, Florida: Wallace/Worth Estate (i.e. Vain Manor)
Alan: I'm telling you, baby… it's going to be gold. It's going set us up perfectly for life after wrestling!
Alan is excitedly explaining things in the bedroom, as a still very pregnant Celeste Worth lays uncomfortably in the bed.
Celeste: Do we really have to do this now, Alan? Pardon my language, but I am absolutely fucking miserable. I don't have the patience for this right now.
Alan: I know, baby. And I wish she would decide to come, too. But at the very least… aren't I at least keeping your mind off of things?
Celeste: No. No you aren't.
Alan: Ok… picture this…
====================
Scene: The inside of what appears to be an apartment. The living room is empty.
(The door partially opens, a head popping through and surveying the room.)
Sebastaban: Creo que la costa está despejada. (I think the coast is clear.)
(A second head, lower, pops through.)
Estababs: ¿Está seguro? Ya sabes cómo puede ser. (Are you sure? You know how he can be.)
(After waiting a few moments and not hearing anything, the two of them smile, and the door swings open.)
Sebastaban: ¿Por qué cree que es tu mejor amigo otra vez? Realmente nunca lo has explicado. (Why does he think he's your best friend again? You've never really explained it.)
Estababs: ¿Porque está jodidamente loco? (Because he's fucking mental?)
Sebastaban: ¿Es esa la única razón? (Is that the only reason?)
Estababs: Lo has conocido. ¿Tiene que haber otra razón? (You've met him. Does there need to be another reason?)
(Sebastaban shrugs, as the studio audience laughs.)
Sebastaban: Un punto válido, por cierto. (A valid point, indeed.)
(The two of them then make their way around the sofa, each taking a seat on an end. They're relaxed. The door to the kitchen then swings open.)
Alanjandro: ¡Hola mejores amigas! ¡No pensé que alguna vez regresarías! (Hey besties! I didn't think you'd ever return!)
(Both choke on water they had begun to drink. The studio audience laughs. The chorus from Lady Gaga's song 'Alejandro' plays.)
Sebastaban: ¿Soy ahora su mejor amiga también? (Am I now his bestie too?)
Estababs: Bienvenida al infierno. (Welcome to Hell.)
Alanjandro: ¡Llegas justo a tiempo! ¡Hice tacos! (You're just in time! I made tacos!)
(Alanjandro disappears back into the kitchen. The chorus from Lady Gaga's song 'Alejandro' plays.)
Estababs: ¡¿Por qué?! ¡¿Por qué?! (Why?! Why?!)
(The studio audience laughs. End scene.)
~
Scene: Inside what appears to be a bedroom. Hushed whispering ensues.
Sebastaban: No puedo esperar a terminar con esto. (I can't wait to be done with this.)
Estababs: Predicando al coro. He estado diciendo lo mismo desde que lo conocí. (Preaching to the choir. I've been saying the same thing ever since I met him.)
Sebastaban: ¿Cómo nos vimos envueltos en esta tontería? (How did we get wrapped up in this nonsense?)
Estababs: Bueno, alguien pensó que sería una buena idea. Por qué, no lo sé. (Well, someone thought it would be a good idea. Why, I don't know.)
Sebastaban: Parecía una buena idea en ese momento. (It seemed like a good idea at the time.)
Estababs: ¿Pero un torneo de Yahtzee en el que se expulsa a la gente del apartamento? ¿Cómo va a ayudar eso en algo? (But a Yahtzee tournament where people are voted out of the apartment? How is that going to help with anything?)
Sebastaban: Bueno, hasta ahora ha funcionado. Ahora son dos contra uno, las probabilidades están completamente en su contra. (Well it's worked out thus far. It is now two against one, the odds are completely stacked against him.)
Estababs: ¿Lo son? Conoces su historial. (Are they though? You know his track record.)
Sebastaban: Sí, pero también superamos con creces las habilidades de Travis Roberts. (Yes, but we also far exceed the skills of Travis Roberts.)
Estababs: ¿Habilidades? ¿En realidad? ¿Realmente se necesita habilidad para ganar en Yahtzee? (Skills? Really? Does it really take skill to win at Yahtzee?)
(Before he can respond, the door opens. A head comes into view. The studio audience laughs.)
Alanjandro: ¡Despierten los somnolientos! ¡Hice burritos! (Wake up sleepy heads! I made burritos!)
(Alanjandro's head disappears from view, and the door shuts. The studio audience laughs. The chorus from Lady Gaga's song 'Alejandro' plays.)
Estababs: ¡¿Por qué?! ¡¿Por qué?! (Why?! Why?!)
(End scene.)
~
Scene: The living room. Alanjandro runs around in celebratory glee.
Sebastaban: No puedo creer que esto haya sucedido. (I can't believe this happened.)
Estababs: intenté decírtelo. (I tried to tell you.)
Sebastaban: No lo entiendo. Teníamos las probabilidades. Teníamos el intelecto. Lo teníamos superado en personal. ¿Cómo pasó esto? (I don't understand it. We had the odds. We had the intellect. We had him out-manned. How did this happen?)
Estababs: Siempre puedes preguntarle a Travis Roberts. Nuestras habilidades en Yahtzee aparentemente coinciden con las suyas. (You could always ask Travis Roberts. Our skills at Yahtzee apparently match his.)
Sebastaban: No pensé que las cosas pudieran empeorar después de Horizons. Sin embargo, aquí estamos. (I didn't think things could get any worse after Horizons. Yet, here we are.)
Estababs: Estoy acostumbrado a eso. Y lo odio por eso. (I'm used to it. And I hate him for it.)
(The studio audience lets out a collective 'awww'.)
Alanjandro: ¡Enchiladas de celebración para todas! (Celebratory enchiladas for everyone!)
(Alanjandro disappears into the kitchen. The studio audience laughs. Sebastaban and Estababs sigh. The chorus from Lady Gaga's song 'Alejandro' plays.)
Sebastaban: ¿Cree que se jubilará pronto? (Think he will retire again soon?)
Estababs: ¡Dios mío, eso espero! (My god, I fucking hope so!)
(End episode.)
====================
Celeste sits there, her mouth agape. Alan was right. The sheer stupidity of it all has definitely taken her mind off of being miserably pregnant.
Celeste: I… I don't think I understand.
Alan: Ratings would be through the roof! We could live off of the royalties alone for the rest of our lives!
Celeste: And… who would play the roles of the 'stars'?
Alan roars out in laughter, startling Celeste to the point of almost jumping.
Alan: Well I would play the lead role. Obviously.
Celeste: There was a lead role?
Alan pays no attention to her question.
Alan: For the roles of Sebastaban and Estababs, I'm sure we could get members of the defunct #Chill roster to fill them. They aren't doing anything else anyway.
Celeste: And a show about… Yahtzee… could be made into something that we could - in your own words - 'live off of the royalties alone for the rest of our lives'?
Alan: The show itself isn't about Yahtzee. Just that episode. Honestly, the show is really about nothing at all.
Celeste: So, like 'Seinfeld'?
Alan: Yes, only funny.
Celeste sits there and processes it for a moment, as Alan looks at her in eager anticipation. She finally looks back up at him.
Celeste: But why is it in Spanish?
Alan: Because filming it in English is too mainstream.
Celeste nods as she slowly makes her way to her feet. Walking over to Alan, she leans up and kisses him on the cheek, before then slowly making her way to the master bathroom.
Celeste: You're an idiot. It's a good thing I love you.
She walks into the bathroom and closes the door behind her. Alan stands there for a moment, before turning and walking over to the bed, and sitting down on it.
Alan: That's obviously just the hormones talking.
FIN
#OOC - I relied on Google Translate for the Spanish parts, because I haven't taken Spanish in 30 years. So, for our Spanish speaking members... if shit is wrong, blame the Googles.
- 1x
- 4x 
- 5x
- 6x