OWitB Ep 6: Mean Something

[T-Robosaurus Rex]

Previously on ‘Only Wrestlers in the Building’
Travis prepared for a match against the Dark Destroyer.
Travis then prepared for a match with A Boy Named Jess.
Tiffany revealed her secret to Donovan.

-_-

People have been smiling at me.

It’s unsettling.

I can’t go anywhere in the Laconia Building without one of the residents trying to be friendly with me, it’s insufferable really.

Apparently the contribution I made to the building from my Infinity appearance fee was enough to stop the pipes making ‘that sound’, got the strange smell in stairwell B to dissipate and made Deidre’s arthritis calm down.

And here I was thinking McWrestleface would use the funds to improve the gym, y’know like we had agreed.

Each of these grinning buffoons seems surprised that I don’t reciprocate their positivity, but what an earth have I got to smile about?

For one thing these people are my neighbours, this is my community, and no amount of mental gymnastics can disprove the fact that this is now my level.

Living amongst nearly-were’s and never-could of’s was not part of the grand plan, was inconceivable when I was at the peak of my game as the most dominant UGWC World Heavyweight Champion ever, but nevertheless is the reality I find myself in.

And from the evidence served up to the world at Camp Randall Stadium at Infinity suggests I’m exactly where I should be.

-_-

Travis sits with Tiffany’s boys Joseph and Samuel at the small dinner table in the corner of his apartment.

Sam: But you nearly kicked out, Uncle Travis!

Zeph: Yeah! You tried your hardest, everyone could see that.

Travis: I don’t think I did though, boys.

Sam: You couldn’t help it, you thought you were facing a totally different person for most of the week!

Travis: But so did my opponent, Sam.

Zeph: Yeah, but he was facing someone tough so would have worked harder than someone who was just facing the Destroyer. It’s like me having to study for a Math test and them switching it to Spanish at the last minute, but everyone else in class gets to do art! I’d have passed if it was a Math test, and you’d have beat The Destroyer.

Travis gives Zeph and friendly smile.

Travis: Unfortunately that doesn’t make me feel any better, Zeph. I wanted to show you both that I was the kind of Entertainment Professional you both look up to, but I failed.

Sam shrugs.

Sam: But you nearly kicked out, you didn’t get your ass beaten like a dog or anything, we know that you can wrestle.

Travis: But I can do more than that, boys. I was known as ‘The Most Influential Icon in Sports Entertainment this Millenia’ for a reason, and it wasn’t because I pulled out performances like the one you witnessed! It’s not just losing that hurts, it’s the fact that the match itself was nothing special. In the past no matter the result everyone would be talking about the Travis Roberts match the next day. Not only did I lose, but I lost in a mediocre showing too.

Zeph: But this was your first match back in AGES! You can’t expect to be the best when you’ve had so little practice, it’d take anyone a bit of time to get back to their best.

Sam: Except Alan Wallace, of course, he came back and had won The Melee, became Key Master, and beat SEB before I could remember all his nicknames, I still don’t understand most of them.

Zeph: Yeah, not everyone can be The Clit Whisperer.

Travis, who has looked annoyed during Sam’s rundown of Vain’s recent achievements, can’t help but crack a smile at Zeph’s choice of moniker for Wallace.

Travis: Don’t use that one around your Mom, and while I’d love to sit around hearing all the ways Alan is superior to me, I think it’s time I took out the trash…

-_-

Infinity was a sobering night. I knew it would be difficult, of course I knew I’d have to shake off the ring rust, but I truly believed I would come out victorious.

But I didn’t.

And to make matters worse the very same show I make my forgettable return at is headlined by two people I have so much history with, two people who I saw as my equals for so long. To find myself looking up at the lights and realising just how far away I am from joining them back at the top of the card was something I hadn’t prepared myself for.

That realisation hit me harder than anything A Boy Named Jess threw at me during our match and it was a blow that I can still hear ringing in my head.

-_-

We rejoin Travis and the boys a few days later as the two youngest grip onto controllers as they play the newly released UGWC 2K24 game.

Sam: So why aren’t you in the game, Uncle Travis?

Travis: Because I only just came back, there wasn’t enough time to put me in the game.

Zeph: But there is a legends section of the roster, look, I can be Randy Boolzian, Eden Morgan , someone called Mil Vida…

Travis winces and interrupts.

Travis: I couldn’t come to terms on an agreement with them for my image rights.

Sam: Why not?

Travis: Honestly, because I have no idea who owns them anymore, I didn’t come to living here in the Laconia by making good business decisions, boys.

Sam: Because you’re not in the game we can’t run a simulation of you vs Ezra Wolf, but we can show you his moveset so you can prepare for what he can do.

Travis: Can’t I just watch his matches to know that?

Zeph: But that would involve us not playing, so how is that an option?

Travis chuckles and shrugs the shrug of a man who doesn’t mind being beaten on this occasion.

Travis: OK boys, what can you tell me about Ezra then.

Zeph: We like him, he seems cool. He can say some nasty things to his opponents, but you can tell he knows they’re dangerous people.

Sam: Yeah and he’s tough, and seems to get stronger all the time. He’s got a lot more muscular recently, which means he can take down even the biggest guys in UGWC.

Zeph: He’s not scared of anyone, either.

Sam: I think he’ll be World Champion one day, he doesn’t win all the time, but he keeps trying and keeps getting closer.

Travis: Someone said that about Dave Rydell once.

Zeph: Who?

Travis: Dave Rydell, formerly known as Red Fusion is a UGWC stalwart…

Sam: We know who Dave Rydell is, but who said he’d be World Champion one day?

Travis: Oh, I see. Dave Rydell.

Sam: I don’t know what that has to do with Ezra, he really could be World Champion one day. He looked good in the Global Challenge and he will be as tough as A Boy Named Jess was. He was trained by a UGWC Hall of Famer, but they don’t like each other anymore.

Travis: Who trained him.

Zeph: I know this, Evekial Paz!

Travis: You mean Ezekial Pax?

Zeph: That’s what I said.

Sam: You know him?

Travis: Yeah, a long time ago we were kinda pseudo-allies, shared some interests and he was bearable, if a little overexcitable. But then something happened, maybe some kind of head trauma, and he went bat shit crazy. It’s an occupational hazard, y’see, no other profession has a higher rate of Messianic Complex’s, Supernatural Possessions, Serial Killers, Torturers or even Omnipotent Creeps, than Professional Wrestling. Keeps things interesting, though.

Zeph: You’re weird, Uncle Travis.

Sam: Yeah, and if you keep being weird and don’t focus on the fact Ezra is very good, you’ll regret it.

Travis: Thanks for the pep talk. Now can I watch you both play.

Zeph: Yay! I call Vain!

Sam: AWWW! But you got to be The Unquestionable Quester for Quivering Quim last time!

Travis put’s his head in his hands and starts to gently massage his temples as the scene fades out.

-_-

The investigation into the Cake Desecrator has stalled quite spectacularly in recent weeks. Donovan dropped his accusations towards Tiffany when she explained that she had been using Forewell’s computer for internet stuff, or something, which makes sense because I knew she wasn’t capable of such a large scale deception, the kid can’t lie to save her life.

As glad as I was that Donovan had shifted his attention from my Niece, it left us back to square one with no suspects. With both of our disappointing results at Infinity neither of us had been particularly motivated to pick up the investigation and Tiff had been pretty quiet too.

Which meant I had no reason to decline an invitation from someone I hadn’t spoken to in a long time.

-_-

Travis is stood next to UGWC Backstage Reporter Roxy Malone for the first time in over three years.

Roxy: I’m here with the returning Travis Roberts just days before he appears on Synergy for the first time in over three years. The first thing I have to ask is how does it feel to be back here in Chicago at the UGWC Arena?

Travis: Well, I can certainly smell that Bones is still on the Janitorial staff, so there’s a familiarity about the place that’s for sure.

Roxy: Do you have any thoughts on coming up against Ezra Wolf, who has faced Trent Steel twice in his last two showings. Winning the match at Infinity but losing in the Chaos match last week.

Travis: I feel disappointed for Ezra, to be honest.

Roxy: I’m not sure that was the answer anyone expected.

Travis: Well just imagine what scenario he could have been walking into on Monday? It wouldn’t have mattered whether he’d have won both matches, or lost both, against Steel, if he had the opportunity to beat the triumphantly returning Headliner straight off the back of his glorious return at Infinity.

But that’s not what he is getting, is it Roxy? Rather than getting to etch himself into the history books, which is a rare thing to be able to achieve on an episode of Synergy, now all he has to fight for is momentum.

My performance at Infinity has cost Ezra Wolf the opportunity at one of the biggest achievements of his career, but no-one ever hears about the second person to beat a guy, do they? Instead now all Ezra can achieve is something A Boy Named Jess already did. If he wins the story is Travis Roberts loses again, if he loses it’s Travis Roberts gets his first win, hardly career defining, is it?

Roxy: So you don’t think Ezra has anything to fight for?

Travis: That’s not what I said, I merely stated the match itself is far diminished from what it could have been, and I have to take sole responsibility for that. But if I can tell anything from the little amount of Ezra Wolf I have seen, it is that he always has something to fight for. Fight isn’t something Ezra Wolf is lacking, his focus may drift from time to time, but he never seems unaware of his surroundings, and is always looking for his next opportunity to fight.

Roxy: So we can safely say you expect a hard fight against him then?

Travis: Of course I do, not only will his conditioning be better than me since my long absence, he also has a few years on me too, even in peak condition he’d have the edge on me stamina wise.

I try not to go into any match thinking my opponent cannot win, and that’s especially true in this case, because what would be more Ezra Wolf than to come in second again? To have been on the verge of history, but to just see it slip from your hands? Beating me would be bitter sweet now, because it’s already been done by A Boy Named Jess, the accolade has already been taken, leaving Ezra coming up short even in victory.

Roxy: Almost sounds like you want him to win?

Travis: That’s preposterous, Roxy, of course I want to win. I want to win to prove to myself that I can still do this. Losing to Jess at Infinity was one of the lowest points of my career, because for the first time in a long time someone beating The Blessed One didn’t seem like the big deal it should have been. Don’t get me wrong, it’s still a big deal, but it wasn’t the shock it might have been long ago.

Even at my lowest moments of living in a broke ass RV beating Travis Roberts one on one at a PPV was a very big deal, it wasn’t something that just happened, it was something that marked you out as one of the next big things. The defeat at Infinity didn’t feel that way, Jess gets a W on his record, and the props for spoiling a return, but I was scheduled to face the Dark Destroyer earlier that week so I’d hardly been built up as a spectacle to dethrone. ‘The Blessed One’ has gone from catapulting careers, to padding out records, and it does not feel good.

So of course I want to win, because I want beating Travis Roberts to mean something again. And that doesn’t start by losing to Ezra Wolf.

Roxy: Thank you for your time, Travis. Tune in to Synergy on Monday!