Post by T-Robosaurus Rex on Apr 13, 2024 17:52:39 GMT -5
We open our scene with El Flippy Loco stood, in full ring gear, behind a row of tables wth various refreshments lined up. He smiles and waves excitedly at the samera.
WMcW: Hello one and all, welcome to the Boston Marathon Aid Station! As I hope you all know, I’m Wrestley McWrestleface, and I’m here to…ummm…
He looks off camera.
WMcW: What exactly am I doing here?
He continues to look off screen.
WMcW: I understand it’s an assignment from The Consortium, but what I am struggling with is the purpose behind it, the raison d'etre for the whole shoot.
He shakes his head at the person off screen.
WMcW: A shrug? That’s all you’re going to give me here? You just expect me to find my own motivation for being at a distance running event that has no crossover with our core audience? Did you go to the Piercing Media Network School for Directing by any chance?
McWrestleface turns back to the camera.
WMcW: Well, I’m here because The Consortium wanted the competitors in this week's Chaos Division match to make promotional appearances here at the Boston Marathon. And as you can see from the crowds and crowds of no fans whatsoever in attendance at this Aid Station it has been a rousing success!
Wrestley puts two thumbs up at the camera and then turns off screen again.
WMcW: I mean seriously, who comes up with these ideas? And how? Do they just look at what's happening that week and randomly pick somewhere to send people to?
Wrestley scratches the top of his mask as if in thought.
WMcW: I mean, I guess that would be better than the other option which is that someone consciously thought the Boston Marathon, of all places, was a suitable place to highlight UGWC’s Chaos division, that could be construed as something as offensive as Trent Steel thinks his takes on the world are.
Wrestley walks over to one of the tables.
WMcW: Lets get back to business, shall we? So I’m here at the Boston marathon, and here is the Wrestley McWrestleface special station, and I’m going to show you the items I have chosen to help our intrepid running people continue on their journey.
He picks up a brightly coloured bottle and thrusts it in front of the camera.
WMcW: My choice of drink was obvs always going to be the ‘OBVS’ branded hydration drink from UGWC’s very own former World Heavyweight Champion, Angelica Vaughn! Promises to hydrate you, refresh you, and make you feel like you’re being snuggled by 16 rescue kittens! Who would want that when running for miles and miles round a city that has perfectly good transportation options.
He then picks up a bowl of noodles.
WMcW: For a snack I have this beef flavoured ramen. “Wrestley!” I hear you say “Aren’t you meant to provide easy to eat snacks that can be eaten on the run?”, and to that my answer is I was only given this assignment a couple of hours before I had to leave and this is all that was in the Laconia’s kitchen, ok?
He drops the noodles and walks away front he table.
WMcW: Look, I’ll be honest I don’t want to be here, I’ve got one of the biggest matches of my career in Synergy against a former World Champion and a man who scares the living bejesus outta me! Handing out refreshments to distance running obsessives isn’t going to help me rise to the challenge I have ahead of me. Trust me, if I thought running 26 miles non stop would help me avoid Trent Steel putting his callous and murderous hands on me I’d do it, but something tells me he'd be lurking in a drain near the finish line or something, ready and all too eager to scoop my eyes out with a rusty spoon or something.
Wrestley hands a bottle of Obvs to a passing runner.
WMcW: It’s always an honor to face a former World Champion, given how long I spent plying my trade in Armory’s and Community Centres, facing over the hill veterans or no-named stars like yours truly, I will always appreciate how lucky I am to stand across the ring from true household names who have given so much to this business. To have my name on the same card, let alone in the same match, as someone as accomplished and celebrated as Lucy Wylde makes all the grind worth it.
Would it have been a bit of a bigger deal to face her in previous years when she was at the very peak of her game? When she was competing at the very top of the card, rather than in the division that will forever be epitomised by her cooperative partner's name? Would it have meant a little bit more to face her when her most relevant moniker was something other than ‘SEB’s Latest BFF’?
I can’t answer any of those questions because I really can’t tell whether us being in the same match together is an indication of my own star in UGWC rising, or Lucy Wylde’s falling.
Wrestley throws a handful of ramen into a runner's face, the runner collides with another and there is a little pile up of gangly arms and legs. El Flippy Loco casually walks away whistling.
WMcW: And then there is Trent Steel, who I think you all know gives me the heebie jeebies.
But despite that I do try and listen to what the man has to say. Not all the anti-UGWC stuff, that’s the same generic nonsense that’s many, many others have droned on about in the companies near decade and a half of existence. If the long spells of employment enjoyed by the likes of John Blade and Knorad Raab can’t bring this company to its knees, pretty sure nothing can.
But I DID listen last time Mr Steel and myself were scheduled to meet, and he formed an opinion of me, which I assume was based off watching a youtube video of my move set and then turning his attention to drowning some puppies. Apparently I am everything that is wrong with the industry, because I am…acrobatic?
You’d think someone like Trent Steel, who apparently has a deep respect for the fidelity of our industry might have a little respect for someone who spent the majority of his career fighting from the bottom to make himself recognised, regardless of what moves they used to achieve that.
If dedicating your life to this industry, even when it is spitting in your face on a nightly basis, is everything that’s wrong with the business, I don’t want to be right.
You like to throw around insider terms, call people enhancement talent, and peel back the curtain, because it distracts from the fact that behind the never ending creepiness of your demeanour, there isn’t much of anything interesting about you at all, is there?
Behind it all is just another guy who likes to fight, and is damn good at it. But what we do isn’t just about combat, people have to want to see you in that ring, it might surprise you that not everyone is a sadist, and they need a reason to find violence entertaining. Oftentimes that's down to the character you present them with, and to have some kind of character for them to enjoy, you need more personality than the local stick up artist.
Is that why you seem to move from company to company, no doubt claiming you’ve ‘outgrown’ them or ‘destroyed’ them, turned them into ashes, or some other hyperbolic nonsense, when in reality they probably just got bored of you screaming your self-righteous tripe at them every week?
It’s very possible I may not have the ability to match your technical skills, hell I’d say there is a good shot you could send me into another long layoff by beating me into a bloody mess, but one thing I am sure about is that long after we have both retired, there will never be another like El Flippy Loco.
But another Trent Steel? I.e Angy Self Righteous Man Who Wrestles Good? Ye-ee-ah, I think we might just stumble across another one of those.
Wrestley turns and walks towards the Aid Station once more.
WMcW: Now if you’ll excuse me I have to go and hydrate a bunch of people that are seemingly unaware of the invention of the wheel.
WMcW: Hello one and all, welcome to the Boston Marathon Aid Station! As I hope you all know, I’m Wrestley McWrestleface, and I’m here to…ummm…
He looks off camera.
WMcW: What exactly am I doing here?
He continues to look off screen.
WMcW: I understand it’s an assignment from The Consortium, but what I am struggling with is the purpose behind it, the raison d'etre for the whole shoot.
He shakes his head at the person off screen.
WMcW: A shrug? That’s all you’re going to give me here? You just expect me to find my own motivation for being at a distance running event that has no crossover with our core audience? Did you go to the Piercing Media Network School for Directing by any chance?
McWrestleface turns back to the camera.
WMcW: Well, I’m here because The Consortium wanted the competitors in this week's Chaos Division match to make promotional appearances here at the Boston Marathon. And as you can see from the crowds and crowds of no fans whatsoever in attendance at this Aid Station it has been a rousing success!
Wrestley puts two thumbs up at the camera and then turns off screen again.
WMcW: I mean seriously, who comes up with these ideas? And how? Do they just look at what's happening that week and randomly pick somewhere to send people to?
Wrestley scratches the top of his mask as if in thought.
WMcW: I mean, I guess that would be better than the other option which is that someone consciously thought the Boston Marathon, of all places, was a suitable place to highlight UGWC’s Chaos division, that could be construed as something as offensive as Trent Steel thinks his takes on the world are.
Wrestley walks over to one of the tables.
WMcW: Lets get back to business, shall we? So I’m here at the Boston marathon, and here is the Wrestley McWrestleface special station, and I’m going to show you the items I have chosen to help our intrepid running people continue on their journey.
He picks up a brightly coloured bottle and thrusts it in front of the camera.
WMcW: My choice of drink was obvs always going to be the ‘OBVS’ branded hydration drink from UGWC’s very own former World Heavyweight Champion, Angelica Vaughn! Promises to hydrate you, refresh you, and make you feel like you’re being snuggled by 16 rescue kittens! Who would want that when running for miles and miles round a city that has perfectly good transportation options.
He then picks up a bowl of noodles.
WMcW: For a snack I have this beef flavoured ramen. “Wrestley!” I hear you say “Aren’t you meant to provide easy to eat snacks that can be eaten on the run?”, and to that my answer is I was only given this assignment a couple of hours before I had to leave and this is all that was in the Laconia’s kitchen, ok?
He drops the noodles and walks away front he table.
WMcW: Look, I’ll be honest I don’t want to be here, I’ve got one of the biggest matches of my career in Synergy against a former World Champion and a man who scares the living bejesus outta me! Handing out refreshments to distance running obsessives isn’t going to help me rise to the challenge I have ahead of me. Trust me, if I thought running 26 miles non stop would help me avoid Trent Steel putting his callous and murderous hands on me I’d do it, but something tells me he'd be lurking in a drain near the finish line or something, ready and all too eager to scoop my eyes out with a rusty spoon or something.
Wrestley hands a bottle of Obvs to a passing runner.
WMcW: It’s always an honor to face a former World Champion, given how long I spent plying my trade in Armory’s and Community Centres, facing over the hill veterans or no-named stars like yours truly, I will always appreciate how lucky I am to stand across the ring from true household names who have given so much to this business. To have my name on the same card, let alone in the same match, as someone as accomplished and celebrated as Lucy Wylde makes all the grind worth it.
Would it have been a bit of a bigger deal to face her in previous years when she was at the very peak of her game? When she was competing at the very top of the card, rather than in the division that will forever be epitomised by her cooperative partner's name? Would it have meant a little bit more to face her when her most relevant moniker was something other than ‘SEB’s Latest BFF’?
I can’t answer any of those questions because I really can’t tell whether us being in the same match together is an indication of my own star in UGWC rising, or Lucy Wylde’s falling.
Wrestley throws a handful of ramen into a runner's face, the runner collides with another and there is a little pile up of gangly arms and legs. El Flippy Loco casually walks away whistling.
WMcW: And then there is Trent Steel, who I think you all know gives me the heebie jeebies.
But despite that I do try and listen to what the man has to say. Not all the anti-UGWC stuff, that’s the same generic nonsense that’s many, many others have droned on about in the companies near decade and a half of existence. If the long spells of employment enjoyed by the likes of John Blade and Knorad Raab can’t bring this company to its knees, pretty sure nothing can.
But I DID listen last time Mr Steel and myself were scheduled to meet, and he formed an opinion of me, which I assume was based off watching a youtube video of my move set and then turning his attention to drowning some puppies. Apparently I am everything that is wrong with the industry, because I am…acrobatic?
You’d think someone like Trent Steel, who apparently has a deep respect for the fidelity of our industry might have a little respect for someone who spent the majority of his career fighting from the bottom to make himself recognised, regardless of what moves they used to achieve that.
If dedicating your life to this industry, even when it is spitting in your face on a nightly basis, is everything that’s wrong with the business, I don’t want to be right.
You like to throw around insider terms, call people enhancement talent, and peel back the curtain, because it distracts from the fact that behind the never ending creepiness of your demeanour, there isn’t much of anything interesting about you at all, is there?
Behind it all is just another guy who likes to fight, and is damn good at it. But what we do isn’t just about combat, people have to want to see you in that ring, it might surprise you that not everyone is a sadist, and they need a reason to find violence entertaining. Oftentimes that's down to the character you present them with, and to have some kind of character for them to enjoy, you need more personality than the local stick up artist.
Is that why you seem to move from company to company, no doubt claiming you’ve ‘outgrown’ them or ‘destroyed’ them, turned them into ashes, or some other hyperbolic nonsense, when in reality they probably just got bored of you screaming your self-righteous tripe at them every week?
It’s very possible I may not have the ability to match your technical skills, hell I’d say there is a good shot you could send me into another long layoff by beating me into a bloody mess, but one thing I am sure about is that long after we have both retired, there will never be another like El Flippy Loco.
But another Trent Steel? I.e Angy Self Righteous Man Who Wrestles Good? Ye-ee-ah, I think we might just stumble across another one of those.
Wrestley turns and walks towards the Aid Station once more.
WMcW: Now if you’ll excuse me I have to go and hydrate a bunch of people that are seemingly unaware of the invention of the wheel.
