Wrestlestock - Day 1 - July 12, 2024

[UGWC Staff]

Vinegar: WrestleStock twenty-twenty-four is officially underway!

Covert Jay: Huzzah!!

Vinegar: We have a huge lineup of opening-round matches for you today, capped off by the
Cooperative Championship Match as reigning champions Lucy Wylde and Sebastian Everett-Bryce face possibly their toughest challenge in “The Syndicate,” consisting of our current World Champion, “Vain” Alan Wallace and Zane Scott.

Covert Jay: Do you think they’re getting the band back together?

Lieberjosch: Doubtful. They’d have to find two new members, and one doesn’t easily replace an Eden Morgan or a Killian King.

Vinegar: I agree, Hans. I think they chose that name because it’s a recognizable brand that both Alan Wallace and Zane Scott are proud of having been a part of.

Lieberjosch: Why wouldn’t they be? “The Syndicate” ran UGWC for over a year, causing havoc and winning every championship until their egos got in the way.

Vinegar: If you listen to Alan Wallace, tell it, one ego got in the way.

Lieberjosch: I don’t necessarily disagree with him. Eden was always the wild card in the group, even as a co-founder of it along with Zane Scott. Eden was about what was best for Eden, and she never let anyone forget it.

Covert Jay: She was hot. Didn’t Wallace tag with Killian? I don’t remember him teaming with Zane much.

Vinegar: He didn’t, he usually teamed with Eden, which was always a volatile combination.

Wallace usually teamed with Killian King in “Sex and Violence.”

Lieberjosch: I don’t think the “sex” part will get them very far here, but they’ll need to bring the “violence” if they’re going to beat a team as dominant as Lucy and Sebastian.

Covert Jay: They’re impressive. Especially Lucy.

Lieberjosch: Calm down. You sound like a stalker.

Covert Jay: I know where her trailer is.

Lieberjosch: I just threw up in my mouth a bit.

[UGWC Staff]

Wrestlestock Open - Round 1
Ezra Wolf vs The Dark Destroyer

Vinegar: Before you get us thrown off the air, Jay, I’ll pivot. Our first match, while leaving some scratching their heads on paper, could be the surprise of the tournament.

Lieberjosch: How do you figure? It’s The Dark Destroyer. I’ll be amazed if he doesn’t put himself in traction just getting here.

Vinegar: We’ve seen moments of dominance from the Destroyer, Hans.

Lieberjosch: Sure, but only when one very specific element is in place.

Covert Jay: You mean the Err...OW!

Vinegar: Try not to injure our broadcast colleague, Hans.

Lieberjosch: He almost said the name. I had to stop him before he singlehandedly ended the tournament!

Covert Jay: I think I have a sprained eye.

Lieberjosch: I think you have a sprained brain.

Covert Jay: At least you admitted that I have a brain.

Lieberjosch: I never said that it works.

Covert Jay: Fair. Mean, but fair.

Vinegar: Large blue avatars of destruction aside, most are looking at this Round One match between our current Chaos Champion, Ezra Wolf as a walkover considering he’s facing…

Lieberjosch: Our other avatar of destruction, although it’s usually self-inflicted.

Vinegar: I wouldn’t have thought of it that way, but you’re not wrong.

Lieberjosch: Listen, we both know that Ezra is light years ahead of this moron in every way. This’ll take two moves and that’ll be that.

Covert Jay: At least we’ll see Riley Reverend Reed a lot faster that way.

Lieberjosch: Settle down, Jay.

Covert Jay: I am settled.

Lieberjosch: Hardly.

Covert Jay: How’d you know?

Lieberjosch: Not cool, Jay. Not cool.

Vinegar: I agree, Hans, that Ezra is an elite talent while the Destroyer… isn’t. I fully expect our Chaos Champion to end this in under three minutes, but the Destroyer has surprised people before.

Lieberjosch: Usually himself when he gets out of bed without spontaneously combusting. To your point about Ezra, I agree that he’s incredibly talented. This match feels like a waste, and it would be really nice if he’d actually defend his championship.

Vinegar: I’m sure he’d like to. I’ve also heard rumblings that we could see a lot more of that after the post-WrestleStock break.

Lieberjosch: Who do you have as a connection that I don’t?

Vinegar: I have my sources.

Lieberjosch: It’s not nice to hold out.

Vinegar: Sorry, Hans. You’ll just have to live with it. Let’s go to Mitchell!

Mitchell Dennis: Ladies and gentlemen WELCOME TO WRESTLESTOCK! It’s time for our Day

One OPENING MATCH! Introducing first!

Ezra Wolf makes his way out of the curtain as ‘California Love’ by A Joker’s Rage comes blaring out of the speakers and pauses at the top of the ramp. He heads towards the ring, slapping hands and singing along to his entrance music. He walks up the stairs and hops onto the apron before stepping up onto the middle turnbuckle. He pauses to play the air guitar a bit before stepping on the top rope and jumping into the ring. As he lands, he rolls forward and ends up on one knee in the center of the ring. Ezra throws his arms and head back, letting out a primal scream before tearing off his entrance gear. He hands it to the ring attendant then takes a knee in his corner as he waits for the match to begin.

Vinegar: The Chaos Champion looks ready to go.

Lieberjosch: I would too if I had such an easy night ahead.

Mitchell Dennis: Introducing his OPPONENT!!!

“Die Eier von Satan” blasts through the arena and at first nothing happens. A few seconds later the curtain flutters gently, then violently before the Dark Destroyer stumbles out from behind it with his cape tightly wrapped around his head. He stumbles across the stage, blinded by it as his arms flail wildly.

Vinegar: Oh no! This might end before it starts!

Lieberjosch: Good god. Why do we pay this idiot?

Vinegar: Look out for the…

Covert Jay: Whoo. Destroyer nearly walked off the stage!

Vinegar: He’s made it back to the head of the ramp!

Lieberjosch: Sure, but he’s still losing the war against his cape!

Vinegar: He falls down the ramp!

Covert Jay: That’s not very ninja-like!

Lieberjosch: The only thing he has in common with ninja is that they both operate in the dark.

Vinegar: He rolls down the ramp, still fighting against his cape before he pops back to his feet and stumbles…

Lieberjosch: Straight into the ring post.

Covert Jay: Jesus that sounded like it hurt.

Lieberjosch: I doubt it did any damage. There’s nothing between his ears to injure.

Vinegar: Destroyer dead drops to the floor like a dead fish and lays there…

Covert Jay: At least he’s consistent.

Lieberjosch: Yes. Consistently moronic.

Vinegar: One of our ringside personnel helps him get up and free of his cape. He rolls into the ring and pops to his feet as the bell rings.

Covert Jay: Lightning Strike!

Lieberjosch: Sigh.

Vinegar: Silver Bullet!

Covert Jay: Knee Jerk Reaction!

Vinegar: Ezra goes for the cover!

Lieberjosch: One!

Covert Jay: Two!!

Vinegar: Three! Ezra Wolf wins his First Round Match in truly dominating fashion!

Covert Jay: You said two moves, Hans. It was three.

Lieberjosch: First, Jay, bite me. Second, In fairness, it WAS the Dark Destroyer!

Vinegar: It doesn’t matter. It still counts.

Lieberjosch: That it does. The next round won’t be so easy.

Mitchell: Ladies and gentlemen, your WINNER and advancing to the next round… EZRAAAA WOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLF!!!

Vinegar: Stick around, folks as Riley Reverend Reed looks to avenge her Conquest Championship match loss to Larry Tact…NEXT!

Lieberjosch: This was so fast we didn’t even have time to announce the referee…

[UGWC Staff]

Wrestlestock Open - Round 1
Riley Reverend Reed vs Larry Tact

Vinegar: Unlike our first match, I expect this one to require more than three moves to win as Riley Reverend Reed looks to avenge her Conquest

Championship loss against multi-time Conquest Champion Larry Tact.

Lieberjosch: This will be a normal match. “Normal” for UGWC anyway.

Vinegar: Yes, I expect this to be a challenge for both competitors.

Lieberjosch: I’m not sure it’ll be much of one. Tact dispatched the young lady pretty quickly not too long ago.

Vinegar: He did. That was more likely due to his far greater experience.

Lieberjosch: Whatever the reason, it was a dominant victory.

Covert Jay: I thought she looked great!

Lieberjosch: She did, but you’re not talking about her wrestling acumen.

Covert Jay: How do you know?

Lieberjosch: Because you’re you, and you’re a creeper.

Covert Jay: Words hurt, man.

Vinegar: Settle down, both of you. Getting back to our actual job, if Triple R can win this match, she’ll not only achieve the biggest upset of her young career, but she’ll turn herself into a serious contender for the Conquest Championship overnight.

Lieberjosch: Instead of just lucking into it?

Vinegar: I don’t see her title shot that way. I think The Consortium was testing their new signing.

Lieberjosch: Then she failed.

Vinegar: I disagree. I think she acquitted herself quite well.

Covert Jay: “Acquitted?” I didn’t know she was in court!

Lieberjosch: Not that kind of “acquittal,” dimwit. It means she held her own well, which she did. She still lost.

Vinegar: Don’t you think that’s a little too black and white?

Lieberjosch: This is a “win or lose” sport, Nicky. “Looking good” in a match only gets a wrestler so far if they keep losing.

Covert Jay: Like Lindsay Bunny?

Lieberjosch: Who?

Vinegar: That’s quite the callback.

Lieberojsch: Callback to what?

Vinegar: Massive Melee twenty-eighteen.

Lieberjosch: Why didn’t you go with someone from WrestleStock that year?

Vinegar: People would’ve had a harder time remembering Pearl Attlee.

Liebrejosch: Touche.

Covert Jay: I remember her!

Lieberjosch: Do you?

Covert Jay: No.

Lieberjosch: Then why did you pipe up?

Covert Jay: I wanted to be included.

Lieberjosch: I like it better when you aren’t.

Vinegar: Be nice, Hans.

Lieberjosch: You ruin all of my fun.

Vinegar: Someone has to be the adult here.

Covert Jay: Speaking of adults, do you think Larry will act like Triple R’s da…

Vinegar: That’s enough, Jay. She’s a professional. Treat her with respect.

Lieberjosch: I second that. Especially so you don’t get our broadcasting contract canceled.

Covert Jay: I don’t see why you’re getting so upset.

Vinegar: Moving on. Let’s go to Mitchell.

Mitchell Dennis: Ladies and gentlemen this match is for ONE FALL

Fans: ONE FALL!!

Lieberjosch: I hate that.

Vinegar: You hate them.

Lieberjosch: That too.

Dennis: It is your SECOND match of the night! Introducing first...

Riley Reverend Reed enters the ring to a sea of colorful streamers and confetti, wearing a bright smile and a sparkling white and rainbow-colored costume. She high-fives fans and hands out signs that read "Love is the Answer" and "Be the Change", which fans can hold up during her matches.

Vinegar: She’s certainly spirited.

Covert Jay: Was that a pun?

Vinegar: Not intentionally.

Lieberjosch: Own your puns, Nicky.

Vinegar: Let’s go back to Mitchell.

Covert Jay: Coward.

Dennis: And her OPPONENT. He is the REIGNING and DEFENDING UGWC CONQUEST CHAMPION!!!

"In the Face of Evil" by Magic Sword reverberates over the PA. Row after row, aisle to aisle, those members of the Coalition in attendance rise to their feet throughout the arena and cheer, knowing one of their workhorses is about to appear!



As the second, third, and fourth chords of the theme reverberate, three spotlights shine down, one over another: A green circle, a gold triangle over it, and a crimson line intersecting the other two. On the Tron, his monikers cycle through one after another:

TACTILIZING ONE


GAME CHANGER


LIMIT BREAKER

From there, the beat triggers the house lights to illuminate the figure of Larry Tact, standing on stage, looking down as he hones in for the battle ahead.

Larry whips his head up and trudges to one side of the stage, firing up the fans by throwing his arms in the air at them. He then goes to the other side of the stage and beats his chest before opening his arms to the reaction of the Coalition, who hoot and holler back. "GAME ON!" Larry bellows as his arms point around at the crowd. He then returns to center stage and makes his way down to the ring, pounding fists with some fans at ringside before hanging onto the middle rope and pulling himself up onto the apron.

He turns and faces the stands, opening his arms up and making a ‘T’ shape, puffing his chest out. Wiping his boots on the apron, Tact proceeds into the ring. He climbs a turnbuckle and again holds his arms out. “LET’S GO!!!” he exclaims to another pop before descending and making his final preparations for the match.

Lieberjosch: That’s a pro’s pro.

Vinegar: Larry Tact has had a hell of a career and has only built his resume here.

Covert Jay: I think that Triple R can beat him.

Vinegar: Sure, she can. It remains to be seen if she will.

Lieberjosch: I don’t have high hopes.

Vinegar: She does, and that’s all that matters.

Lieberjosch: That remains to be seen. Speaking of which, am I hallucinating, or did we keep the same referee for this match as the last one?

Vinegar: Alice Nasmith gets to pull double duty tonight since the opener was so… abrupt.

Lieberjosch: “Abrupt” is certainly one word for it.

Vinegar: There’s Claude with the bell and we’re underway!

Covert Jay: Thou shalt not touch the fucking bell!

Lieberjosch: Where’s Opie?

Vinegar: It’s difficult to overstate the size and power difference between these two. Larry has almost a foot in height and a hundred and twenty pounds on her!

Covert Jay: She won’t be spearing him anytime soon.

Lieberjosch: If she does, it’ll be like hitting a brick wall at full speed.

Vinegar: She’ll have to rely on guile, speed, and agility to pull off a victory.

Lieberjosch: Yes, but Tact has over a decade and a half if not two decades of experience on her. That’s not something she can overcome “just because.”

Vinegar: That’s a fair point.

Covert Jay: Ninja!

Lieherjosch: Sigh.

Vinegar: Triple R goes in like she’s going to lock up with Tact, but ducks under his attempted tie-up and dropkicks him in the back.

Covert Jay: He didn’t move.

Lieberjosch: That was a sort of… amused look.

Vinegar: He seems almost entertained by the effort.

Covert Jay: ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED??!!

Lieberjosch: Settle down, Minimus.

Vinegar: Reed tries again, dashing into the ropes and springing off. She flies at Tact with a crossbody.

Lieberjosch: Nice catch.

Covert Jay: That’s not how she planned that.

Lieberjosch: Neither’s that.

Vinegar: Tact concludes her crossbody attempt by crushing her into the mat with a basic slam. He pulls her up…

Covert Jay: Alley-oop! Air Reed! Air Reed!

Lieberjosch: That sounds like “air raid,” which is what she might feel like she’s just experienced after she lands.

Vinegar: Reed crashes to the mat with a loud thud.

Lieberjosch: I can’t tell from Tact’s face if he’s amused or feels sorry for her.

Covert Jay: Why not both?

Lieberjosch: Thank you, meme girl.

Covert Jay: I’m not a meme...or a girl.

Lieberjosch: You’re half right.

Vinegar: Tact scrapes Reed up, then drives her back down with a thunderous powerslam, then locks her into a rear chin lock. She tries to push up, but Tact drops his weight and forces her back to the mat. She reaches for the ropes, hoping to force a break.

Covert Jay: Her face is turning red. That’s a chokehold! Don’t be a meanie, Larry!

Lieberjosch: It’s not a chokehold. It’s wedged under her chin.

Vinegar: Her face is turning red. Choke or not, she’s having trouble breathing.

Covert Jay: If she could only reach the ropes!

Lieberjosch: Alice Nasmith has checked the hold and believes it to be legal. If Reed doesn’t figure a way out of this, she might pass out. We’d start tonight with two quick matches.

Vinegar: We might. I doubt the next match will be.

Lieberjosch: It’s not likely.

Vinegar: Reed almost reaches the rope, but Tact pulls her back and to her feet.

Covert Jay: Impressive!

Vinegar: Reed uses her legs to kick off Tact! She swings up!

Lieberjosch: So close, yet so far!

Vinegar: Tact adjusts the hold and drives her back into the mat with a full nelson slam!

Covert Jay: She got air on that bounce!

Lieberjosch: That she did. The NBA could use her as a substitute.

Covert Jay: Player?

Lieberjosch: Ball.

Vinegar: Give her credit for trying.

Lieberjosch: I do, just not for succeeding.

Covert Jay: Tough room.

Vinegar: Tact pulls her up and throws her into the corner, then rushes in and slams into her with a massive clothesline. Tact steps back and she crashes face-first into the mat.

Lieberjosch: At least she stuck the landing.

Covert Jay: You’re being a jerk, Doc!

Lieberjosch: I’m not. Larry Tact is dominating this match, and she stuck the landing out of the corner. It’s unfortunate for her that she stuck it with her face.

Vinegar: So far she hasn’t had an answer for Tact’s size, power, and experience advantages.

Lieberjosch: She’d better figure it out before he puts her in the hospital.

Vinegar: Tact pulls her up...

Covert Jay: Where did that come from?!

Lieberjosch: Perhaps the young lady was playing opossum, although I suspect it’s a surge of adrenaline.

Vinegar: Reed’s whaling away at Larry with punches and kicks. She staggers him! She lunges forward!

Covert Jay: She’s going to end “The Sermon!”

Lieberjosch: We can consider this sermon to be concluded.

Vinegar: Reed attempts the clothesline, but Tact catches her arm!

Covert Jay: NO! Not her adorable face!

Lieberjosch: Hopefully, Jordan is standing by with ice.

Covert Jay: Why? She can’t be deported.

Lieberjosch: The frozen water kind, freeze brain.

Covert Jay: Oh. I got really nervous for a second.

Lieberjosch: Don’t worry, Jay. She’s safe, at least from that part of the government. Where she’s not safe right now is in the ring.

Vinegar: She certainly hasn’t had an answer to Tact so far.

Lieberjosch: She’d better figure one out soon.

Vinegar: Tact pulls Reed up and shrugs as he grabs her with one arm.

Lieberjosch: She is pretty small.

Vinegar: He hoists her up...

Covert Jay: “The Humbling!” Nooooo!

Lieberjosch: Once again Riley Reverend Reed goes up only to crash back down.

Vinegar: Tact drops into the cover from the Urinage Suplex! Here’s Nasmith!

Lieberjosch: One!

Covert Jay: Two!!

Vinegar: Reed kicks out! Tact looks genuinely surprised!

Lieberjosch: I am too, given the ass-kicking he’s handed her!

Vinegar: Tact reaches down to pull Reed back up!

Covert Jay: Boot to the head!

Lieberjosch: More like a toe. “Kick” is the more appropriate word here.

Covert Jay: Thank you, Mr. Podiatrist!

Lieberjosch: What?

Vinegar: You mean “pedant,” Jay. A podiatrist is a foot doctor.

Covert Jay: Isn’t that what I said?

Lieberjosch: Isn’t that what I said?

Vinegar: No.

Lieberjosch: Not even close.

Covert Jay: Oh. My bad.

Vinegar: Tact staggers back from the kick! Reed leaps up and kicks Tact in the chest, knocking him back toward the corner. She keeps the pressure on as she springboards off the ropes and dropkicks him into the corner, lands on her feet, and hip-tosses him back to the center of the ring.

Lieberjosch: I think it was far wiser for her to leave him in the corner.

Vinegar: Maybe.

Lieberjosch: She has a... limited aerial move set. Two moves. One of them is one of her finishers.

Covert Jay: Which she could win the match with now!

Liberjosch: Unlikely. She hasn’t done enough to wear Tact down.

Vinegar: Reed signals to the crowd and leaps!

Covert Jay: Elbow drop!

Vinegar: She leaps back up top… she sizes Tact up and leaps!

Covert Jay: “The Benediction!”

Vinegar: NO! Tact rolls out of the way at the last second! Reed rolls through the landing and pops up to her feet!

Covert Jay: You MONSTER!!

Lieberjosch: God damn...

Vinegar: Tact demolishes Reed with a massive lariat!

Covert Jay: She just turned like the spin cycle in my washing machine…

Lieberjosch: Doubtful. From the way you smell, that machine never spins.

Vinegar: Tact pulls Reed up, hoisting her overhead as if she weighs nothing!

Lieberjosch: She doesn’t to him.

Covert Jay: You put her down!

Lieberjosch: He will.

Vinegar: Tact drops!

Covert Jay: Not like THAT.

Lieberjosch: You told him to “put her down.” You weren’t specific about HOW he should do it.

Vinegar: Tact drops Reed into a massive brainbuster! She looks like she could be out. Tact promptly pulls her back up and underhooks her arms!

Lieberjosch: This is not how one wins a match.

Vinegar: We know, Hans.

Lieberjosch: I’m not sure the young lady does.

Covert Jay: Double underhook piledriver!

Vinegar: Tact drives her down on her head yet again! I doubt she can take too much more punishment like that.

Lieberjosch: That’s a beautiful change of pace. Bravo, sir.

Vinegar: Tact suddenly switches to the Jigoku Jime, trapping her arms and neck in what most would argue is a choke hold.

Lieberjosch: Nasmith seems to think it’s ok.

Vinegar: And it may be, but it’s on the borderline.

Lieberjosch: It’ll be the finish line if she stays in it.

Covert Jay: Ha ha. Very funny.

Lieberjosch: I wasn’t trying to be funny. I’m stating a fact. If she doesn’t figure a way out of this, Tact will choke her out.

Vinegar: She’s trying to fight out of it, but Tact appears to have it sinched way too tightly.

Lieberjosch: Indeed. She appears to be fading.

Covert Jay: Come on, Rev! Fight back!

Lieberjosch: She obviously wants to, but Tact is the master in the ring and he has her exactly where he wants her.

Vinegar: Referee Nasmith pulls up her arm…

Covert Jay: No! It dropped!

Lieberjosch: One.

Vinegar: Two more of those and this match is in the books.

Covert Jay: Come on! Kick out!

Lieberjosch: She’s not being pinned, Jay. She can’t “kick out.”

Vinegar: Referee Nasmith lifts her arm again…

Lieberjosch: The fat lady is getting louder.

Covert Jay: Why does she have to be fat? Isn’t that mean?

Lieberjosch: What? No? I think it’s a reference to opera, which has a lot of larger women who yell loudly.

Covert Jay: I think it’s mean.

Lieberjosch: You’re a moron.

Vinegar: Referee Nasmith lifts her arm for a third time!

Lieberjosch: The show’s over, turn out the lights. You don’t have to go home, but you can’t stay here.

Covert Jay: Pbbbbbt!

Lieberjosch: You spit on me.

Covert Jay: That was a Bronx Cheer.

Lieberjosch: More like a sewage shower.

Covert Jay: Ewww.

Lieberjosch: You’re telling me.

Vinegar: Her arm drop...no! It shoots back up and begins to shake!

Lieberjosch: Rats.

Covert Jay: Yay!

Vinegar: She continues to shake.

Lieberjosch: She has legs. She could use those.

Covert Jay: She certainly does.

Lieberjosch: Shut it.

Vinegar: Reed kicks her feet wildly, swinging them back and forth like she’s looking for something.

Lieberjosch: Something to kick, I expect.

Vinegar: Even if she gets free, she might kick herself out of energy.

Lieberjosch: Pick your poison.

Vinegar: She stomps on the mat, then swings her foot back and catches Tact in the leg!

Covert Jay: He didn’t like that.

Lieberjosch: Would you expect him to?

Covert Jay: Maybe. She’s cute.

Lieberjosch: You’re an incredibly disturbed individual.

Vinegar: She kicks him again! And a third time!

Covert Jay: He’s letting her go!

Lieberjosch: He’s getting annoyed.

Vinegar: Reed connects with one more kick, only for Tact to violently jerk her from the mat! He hoists her up high, then drops her into a rack position!

Lieberjosch: What goes up...

Covert Jay: She’s dead! She has to be!

Vinegar: Tact transitions her into the “Tactilizer!” The entire ring shook!

Covert Jay: She bounced!

Lieberjosch: Must come down.

Vinegar: Tact throws her leg off angrily, stands, and shakes the pain out of his leg.

Covert Jay: She looks like a bug squashed on a windshield!

Lieberjosch: I doubt she feels like one.

Covert Jay: How do you know?

Lieberjosch: I know because I doubt she’s feeling anything after that impact.

Vinegar: Tact is genuinely annoyed at her as he bends over to pull her...woah!

Covert Jay: Ninjaaaaaaaa!!!

Lieberjosch: She caught him completely by surprise!

Vinegar: Reed catches Tact with a surprise inside cradle!

Lieberjosch: ONE!


Vinegar: TWO!!


Covert Jay: THR…NO!!! DAMN IT!!!

Vinegar: Tact kicks out with authority and promptly pulls Reed into a short-armed clothesline! He doesn’t let go, pulling her in and hoisting her up before driving her into the mat with a violent spinebuster!!

Lieberjosch: The next time you go to say “pull” about Tact taking her off of the mat, might I suggest “peel” or “scrape” instead?

Vinegar: They’d also be accurate.

Covert Jay: There’s still a chance, Triple R! I believe!

Lieberjosch: How... spiritual.

Covert Jay: I’m a convert!

Lieberjosch: “Conman” is more accurate.

Vinegar: Tact launches Reed into the corner and charges in, looking to crush her into it!

Lieberjosch: Here comes the train!

Covert Jay: It’s not snack time!

Lieberjosch: What?

Covert Jay: The train means snack time!

Lieberjosch: Wha..?” No. No. I’m not going to ask. I don’t want to know.

Vinegar: Reed moves at the last second! Tact crashes into the corner, stumbles back, and falls flat on his face!

Covert Jay: She’s gone up! It’s “Benediction” time!!

Lieberjosch: I’ll be damned! She landed it!

Vinegar: There’s Alice Nasmith for the count!

Lieberjosch: One!



Covert Jay: Two!! Come on!!


Vinegar: Thre...NO!!! Tact kicks out!!!

Covert Jay: She darts back to the corner and she’s right back up!

Lieberjosch: Heaven or hell. She’ll ascend or burn from this.

Vinegar: She leaps!

Lieberjosch: She’s seconds away from victory!

Covert Jay: Ahhh!!

Vinegar: Tact rolls away and kips up as she’s about to land!

Covert Jay: Goozle!!!

Lieberjosch: He throws Triple R up for a powerbomb!!

Vinegar: “Star Power!!!”

Lieberjosch: Methinks her’s is waning tonight.

Covert Jay: Damn it! Damn it! It’s not fair!!

Lieberjosch: This is a wrestling show, Jay, not your birthday party after the guests run away with all of your presents and your dog in front of you.

Covert Jay: Jesus Christ, Doc. That’s dark.

Lieberjosch: So’s Triple R’s view right now.

Covert Jay: Yeesh. What’s crawled up your ass and died?

Vinegar: ONE! Try and pay attention, gents!


Lieberjosch: TWO!!



Covert Jay: THREE!!! NOOOOOO!!!!

Vinegar: Larry Tact wins! He advances to Round 2!!

Lieberjosch: It was an impressive victory, and although I’m loathe to admit it, the newb showed a lot of heart.

Covert Jay: She’s won mine!

Lieberjosch: I hope she complained and returned it.

Vinegar: Our final first-round match is next as Konrad Raab’s brother, Lord Raab, faces our resident aristocrat, Gideon Thornfield!

Covert Jay: Don’t go anywhere!!

[UGWC Staff]

Wrestlestock Open - Round 1

Gideon Percival Thornfield vs Lord Raab

Vinegar: We’ve had two exciting matches to open up WrestleStock!

Lieberjosch: One exciting match. The other was a slapstick show between the ropes.

Vinegar: We can always rely on the Dark Destroyer to make things… unique.

Lieberjosch: He’s an idiot and Ezra got a walkthrough match to open WrestleStock. I’m not blaming him for that, it’s who he was assigned, but he could’ve demanded better competition.

Vinegar: Dark Destroyer has surprised people before.

Lieberjosch: He didn’t this time…and Jay, don’t you dare mention the “why” for why he surprised people.

Covert Jay: I won’t. I don’t want to get hit again.

Lieberjosch: Good. Behave and I won’t do it again.

Vinegar: Christ, it’s no wonder you’ve been divorced so much.

Lieberjosch: I have no idea what you mean.

Vinegar: And I’m not going to elaborate. Moving on.

Lieberjosch: Moving on.

Vinegar: While our first match was… abrupt, the second match of the night was anything but as Riley Reverend Reed put up a spirited, but ultimately failed effort at redemption against Larry Tact.

Covert Jay: I was so disappointed. I really wanted to see her move on.

Lieberjosch: You want to see her. Don’t pretend it’s about the wrestling.

Covert Jay: Well, she IS cute.

Lieberjosch: You won’t have anyone to disgustingly droll over in this match.

Vinegar: I expect if you do, Jay, you’ll probably get hit by one of them. Lord Raab is called the “Masked German Monster” for a reason.

Lieberjosch: He’s too wordy, just like his idiot brother. We know he’s masked. It’s a nonsense part of his moniker.

Covert Jay: Don’t you think you’re being a bit picky, Hans? Besides, dude’s terrifying!

Lieberjosch: No. I don’t. “The German Monster” sounds better. And what’s with that family, are they ALL in anger management?

Vinegar: Why don’t you ask him once he’s here, Hans? I’m sure he’d be happy to enlighten you.

Lieberjosch: Or tear my head off. I like my head where it is.

Vinegar: I thought you might see it that way.

Lieberjosch: Seriously though, what is it with them? Are they all dysfunctional?

Vinegar: No more or less than you, I expect.

Lieberjosch: Words hurt, Nick.

Covert Jay: So do hands, and you’d get theirs.

Lieberjosch: Pass.

Vinegar: Regardless, no matter how you look at it, Gideon Thornfield is going to have his hands full.

Lieberjosch: His tenure here hasn’t exactly been... record-setting.

Vinegar: We have a deep roster with a lot of experienced wrestlers. It can be hard to get and maintain a footing.

Lieberjosch: That’s true. Although it would be more helpful if we had a clearer idea of his repertoire.

Vinegar: It forces some to use their imaginations.

Lieberjosch: It keeps the roster jockeys employed.

Covert Jay: We have jockeys?

Lieberjosch: Yes, but they’re all shorts.

Covert Jay: Huh? Don’t get it.

Vinegar: It’s not worth getting. The point is that Gideon might find himself achieving greater popularity with the fans if they had a better idea of who he is and what his favorite moves are, not counting his signature and finishers.

Lieberjosch: It’d be helpful. Besides, if he plans to get into everyone’s head, I’m not sure it’s a head worth getting into.

Vinegar: In what respect?

Lieberjosch: This guy is legitimately nuts. He’s not in perpetual anger management because he’s well-adjusted. It runs in the family.

Covert Jay: I don’t get it.

Lieberjosch: Konrad is nuts too.

Vinegar: I don’t think “nuts” is fair to either of them.

Lieberjosch: I don’t care which adjective you choose, they’re both deeply disturbed individuals, and this Raab has decided to put on a mask and beat people up. While we’re at it, what is it with Raab’s and putting “inator” at the end of everything? That doesn’t make them words.

Vinegar: Settle down, Hans.

Lieberjosch: No, you settle down.

Vinegar: I’m perfectly calm. You’re the one ranting about move names.

Lieberjosch: They’re stupid and it irritates me.

Vinegar: We hadn’t noticed.

Covert Jay: Take a breath, Doc. It’s not that bad.

Lieberjosch: I’ll rant about whatever I want to if it’s bad for wrestling.

Vinegar: “Bad for wrestling” as you see it.

Lieberjosch: Well obviously. Mine is the most important opinion in wrestling.

Covert Jay: Not anymore. You’re not the Creative Director.

Lieberjosch: This company has been suffering ever since.

Vinegar: The ratings and talent influx say otherwise.

Lieberjosch: The only influx I’ve felt is acid.

Covert Jay: Isn’t that “reflux?” I’m confused.

Lieberjosch: Your normal condition.

Vinegar: Listen, we’ve had a procession of great Creative Directors since you, and it’s all lead up to this moment. We have a great group of talent participating in WrestleStock this year, and it’s due to you, and all of them.

Lieberjosch: Mostly due to me.

Vinegar: Settle down, Hans.

Covert Jay: Yeah, slow your roll, skippy.

Lieberjosch: Did you just call me “skippy?”

Vinegar: He did.

Lieberjosch: Don’t make me come over there, fool.

Vinegar: Relax, Hans. Let’s go to Mitchell before you blow a vein.

Lieberjosch: Grumble…

Mitchell Dennis: Welcome ladies and gentlemen to the THIRD WrestleStock Tournament match of the night. This match is for ONE FALL.

Fans: ONE FALL!!

Lieberjosch: I hate that...

Vinegar: Get a grip.

Dennis: Introducing first...




The arena dims into darkness as Two Steps From Hell's Black Blade starts to play, echoing through the venue. The crowd hushes in anticipation. Suddenly, the entrance ramp is bathed in a dim, regal purple light. Smoke billows, and from the mist emerges Gideon Percival Thornfield, wearing an elaborate, aristocratic robe adorned with intricate patterns. He walks with calculated confidence, every step echoing authority and poise. At his side is his confidant, Oliver Neville, dressed impeccably and carrying a polished cane.

Dennis: Ladies and gentlemen, hailing from the opulent Thornfield Manor, standing at 6'2" and weighing in at 205 pounds... Gideon Percival Thornfield!

Gideon stops at the top of the ramp, surveying the arena with a disdainful yet composed expression. He slowly removes his robe, revealing his wrestling attire, while Oliver Neville stands by his side, ever watchful. Gideon descends the stairs with purpose, his eyes fixed on the ring. As he enters the ring, Gideon elegantly steps through the ropes, never breaking his gaze from the stage.

Lieberjosch: He’s so regal.

Vinegar: He has an effective entrance.

Lieberjosch: His opponent looks like Frankenstein in spandex.

Covert Jay: That’d be a great Halloween costume!

Lieberjosch: Of course you went there...

Vinegar: Settle down, killjoy.

Lieberjosch: He annoys me.

Vinegar: Everything annoys you. You’re becoming the “Get Off My Lawn” meme of wrestling announcers.

Lieberjosch: I think I’m the only man who still appreciates wrestling purity.

Covert Jay: Get off my lawn!!!

Lieberjosch: Shut it.

Vinegar: Let’s go back to Mitchell before I decide to choke both of you.

Dennis: And his opponent...



Monster by Skillet plays over the sound system as Lord Raab comes out through the curtain wearing his red and black wrestling trousers with his nickname The Masked German Monster on the front of them with Monster Energy logos on the side of his trousers with black gloves on both of his hands and wears a black and red stripy mask. He stands on the ramp with cheers from the crowd.

Mitchell Dennis: “From Cologne, Germany, he is The Masked German Monster, Lord Raab!”

Raab ignores the fans as he goes up the stairs before going in between the ropes and crouches down in the corner moving backward and forwards, rubbing his hands and moving his neck around while looking at his opponent with anger in his eyes while waiting for the match to start.

Vinegar: There’s the bell! Gideon and Raab tie up and push back and forth for position.

Lieberjosch: Height-wise they’re almost equal, but Thornfield is giving up over fifty pounds to Masked Raab, and he has to keep that in mind. Just because he’s a Raab doesn’t mean that he’s guaranteed to be a loser. He’s still big and extremely powerful.

Vinegar: Lord Raab happens to have an impressive resume. He’s a ten-time champion across multiple promotions, including as a former World Champion in SCW.

Lieberjosch: He’s also been the “Suicidal Champion” in APW. Who names a championship that?

Vinegar: I presume it’s their version of the Chaos Championship.

Lieberjosch: Sure, but why name it that?

Vinegar: I don’t know. It’s not Lord Raab’s fault they named it that. Between that championship, the Violence Championship in IW, the Hardcore Championship in EHWF, and the Mayhem Championship in ICW, Lord Raab is obviously an extremely tough and dangerous competitor. Thornfield needs to be mindful of that.

Lieberjosch: I'm sure he is, plus he has Neville on the outside to keep the masked goofball honest.

Vinegar: You know, Hans, if you keep insulting him, he might come over here and show you how much he might take exception to it.

Lieberjosch: Not right now. He’s too busy with Thornfield, who has him grounded in a beautiful standing armbar.

Covert Jay: I like his mask. It has a nice color scheme.

Lieberjosch: Insightful as always, Jay.

Covert Jay: Thanks!

Lieberjosch: Why do I bother being sarcastic to you...

Vinegar: You’re a glutton for punishment. Inside the ring, Raab has pushed himself back to his feet. Thornfield shoves him to the ropes. Raab bounces off and darts back toward Thornfield, who ducks a clothesline attempt. Raab bounces off the other ropes and shoots back toward Thornfield.

Lieberjosch: That didn’t end how Thornfield planned it.

Covert Jay: On his back?

Lieberjosch: Precisely.

Vinegar: Thornfield kips up and is immediately knocked down by a clothesline from Lord Raab, who follows it up with a standing elbow drop and a set of stomps to Thornfield’s shoulder.

Lieberjosch: Maybe a sign of strategy there. Or it’s just stupid brutality. It’s hard to tell.

Vinegar: Don’t you think that weakening either shoulder is going to make “Percival’s Gambit” harder to execute effectively?

Lieberjosch: It could. I’d like to see Thornfield weaken Raab’s shoulders so I don’t have to see any moves that end in “inator.”

Vinegar: You need to let that go.

Covert Jay: Let it GO! Let it go-ooooooh!

Lieberjosch: Shut up.

Vinegar: Relax, Hans. It’s not that big of a deal.

Lieberjosch: It’s annoying, and so is Jay.

Covert Jay: Is something wrong, Doc? Do you need more fiber?

Lieberjosch: I need for you to shut up.

Covert Jay: I can’t. I have a job to do.

Vinegar: Lord Raab continues working Thornfield’s shoulder over by alternating shoulder thrusts and violent arm pulls.

Lieberjosch: No technical majesty here.

Vinegar: You criticize his brother for being technically gifted.

Lieberjosch: He is technically “gifted”...

Vinegar: Knock it off, Hans.

Covert Jay: Speaking of “knocking it off,” Lord Raab just knocked Thornfield’s forearm to his mush.

Lieberjosch: Did you just say “mush?”

Covert Jay: Yup.

Lieberjosch: I need a drink.

Vinegar: Lord Raab delivers another stiff forearm to Thornfield’s face then throws him into the ropes. Thornfield bounces back, only for Lord Raab to hoist him into the air and watch him crash into the canvas face first.

Covert Jay: On his mush.

Lieberjosch: Goddammit.

Vinegar: Lord Raab drops an elbow into the back of Thornfield’s head, then pulls his arms back and begins violently stomping him between his shoulders.

Covert Jay: What’s Neville doing?

Lieberjosch: Distracting, as he’s paid to.

Vinegar: Referee Brian Chartreuse walks over and tells him to get down, but Neville argues with him. Lord Raab breaks his hold and storms over to the ropes, where he takes a wild swing at Neville, who barely avoids it as Chartreuse tries to keep them separated.

Covert Jay: That’s a great song.

Lieberjosch: What?

Covert Jay: “Keep ‘Em Separated.”

Lieberjosch: Welcome back from nineteen ninety-six, Jay.

Vinegar: Meanwhile, Gideon is back to his feet and sneaks up behind Raab as he continues to try and get to Neville.

Covert Jay: Hello!

Lieberjosch: He might be singing falsetto for a while.

Vinegar: Thornfield hits a low blow as Neville laughs and drops back to the floor. Thornfield spins Raab around and drives him into the mat with a vicious DDT, then stands up and hot dogs.

Lieberjosch: Don’t do that. Keep on him!

Covert Jay: Lord Raab sat up!

Vinegar: Lord Raab grabs Thornfield from behind in a half-nelson then drops to the mat!

Lieberjosch: That’s what Thornfield gets for hot dogging. Do that after your opponent is down for the count.

Vinegar: Lord Raab rolls Thornfield over for a cover!

Covert Jay: One!

Vinegar: Thornfield kicks out! Raab stands up and pulls him up by his throat as Chartreuse warns him not to choke. Thornfield flails wildly, pointing at his throat as his face turns red! Brian begins the count!

Lieberjosch: I’m not sure if he’s being legitimately choked or not, but that’s a smart way to get that hold broken!

Vinegar: Chartreuse gets to four and Lord Raab unceremoniously throws Thornfield back to the mat.

Covert Jay: Ow! Did you see his head bounce?!

Lieberjosch: We all did. Thornfield might be out.

Vinegar: Lord Raab drags Thornfield into the corner, then runs across to the opposite corner before turning and rumbling back across the ring.

Lieberjosch: “Rumbling.” Good word, Nicky.

Vinegar: Thank you.

Lieberjosch: That’s why you’re the best play-by-play guy in the business.

Covert Jay: Neville pulls Gideon out of the way!

Vinegar: Lord Raab slams knee first into the corner! He staggers out, hobbling as Chartreuse points at Neville!

Covert Jay: He gone!

Lieberjosch: I think that was a bit harsh.

Vinegar: it wasn’t. Neville was caught interfering.

Covert Jay: He and Thornfield are going crazy, but Chartreuse is standing his ground.

Vinegar: He just threatened to disqualify Thornfield if he doesn’t back off. Neville is gesturing wildly at him as Raab looks like he might be recovering.

Lieberjosch: He currently has his back to Thornfield, who should take advantage of this if he’s not a complete idiot.

Covert Jay: How would you know if he is?

Lieberjosch: Is what?

Covert Jay: A complete idiot.

Lieberjosch: He’d remind me of you.

Covert Jay: Rude.

Lieberjosch: You walked into it.

Vinegar: Thornfield turns and charges at Lord Raab!

Covert Jay: Chop block!

Lieberjosch: You see, that was smart.

Vinegar: He pulls Lord Raab to the corner and slides out, wrapping Raab’s legs around the post! Chartreuse is already reprimanding him, but Thornfield isn’t listening!

Lieberjosch: The old corner post figure four. Excellent. That’s how he should be thinking. He needs to take Raab’s minimal height advantage away. If he weakens this Raab’s knees enough, it’ll turn the weight advantage into a detriment. Thornfield will have a far easier time with him if that happens.

Vinegar: Chartreuse begins the five-count!

Lieberjosch: Hold it on as long as you can!

Covert Jay: He just told Chartreuse that he has five seconds!

Vinegar: Chartreuse is up to four!

Lieberjosch: Thornfield breaks the hold, then immediately reapplies it! Fantastic!

Vinegar: Chartreuse tells him to release it and begins the five-count again!

Covert Jay: Thornfield is holding it!

Lieberjosch: He releases it at five as Chartreuse pushes him from the ring post and directs him back into the ring. It looks like Thornfield might have a hand on Chartreuse’s shirt as they get back to their feet in the ring.

Covert Jay: What the?

Vinegar: Oh for God sake!

Lieberjosch: HA! Chartreuse should’ve kept a closer eye on Neville during that ejection! He just cut back through the crowd and has a chair!

Covert Jay: Holy crap! That’s gonna leave a mark!

Vinegar: Neville waffles Lord Raab in the face as he’s trying to disentangle himself, then turns the chair and blasts him in the right knee! He throws the chair under the ring and leaps back over the barrier!

Lieberjosch: Fantastic! That’s perfect!

Covert Jay: What a cheater!

Lieberjosch: It’s only cheating if you get caught.

Vinegar: Thornfield is lucky that he had Chartreuse wrapped up long enough to keep him from seeing Neville interfering after his ejection or he could’ve been disqualified!

Lieberjosch: I love it! Give that man a raise!

Vinegar: Thornfield slides back out, then pulls Lord Raab from the floor...

Lieberjosch: That’ll work.

Vinegar: Lord Raab goes face-first into the ring steps with a thunderous crash! Thornfield briefly celebrates before leaping up onto the ring apron as Lord Raab slumps down onto the base of the steps.

Covert Jay: Whatever this is, it’s going to be ugly.

Lieberjosch: It could also be match-ending.

Vinegar: Chartreuse tells him to get back in the ring, but Thornfield leaps off of the apron!

Covert Jay: Holy stomperoonie!

Lieberjosch: “Stomperoonie?” Seriously, Jay?

Vinegar: My god. The metallic thud that made was sickening.

Lieberjosch: I enjoy Raab hunting season.

Covert Jay: That’s cold.

Lieberjosch: He’s a Raab. He’s used to cold.

Vinegar: Give the Raab hate a rest, Hans.

Lieberjosch: Don’t try and steal my job from me, Nick.

Vinegar: Don’t let it distract you from doing your job, Hans.

Covert Jay: Please don’t fight. It upsets me when you fight.

Vinegar: We’re not. Speaking of “fighting,” Thornfield has dragged Lord Raab back into the ring and hoists him up.

Covert Jay: Mindbreaker!

Lieberjosch: Yes! End it! Send this goofball back to the Fatherland!

Covert Jay: Have you considered decaf, Hans?

Lieberjosch: Decaf what?

Covert Jay: Literally anything. Your heart is about to explode.

Lieberjosch: From joy.

Vinegar: He pulls Lord Raab back up and positions him for “Percival’s Gambit!”

Lieberjosch: There we go! This is a done deal! Another Raab takes an “L!”

Covert Jay: Seriously, it’s pathological with you.

Vinegar: Chartreuse leaps into position!

Covert Jay: One!



Vinegar: Two!!



Lieberjosch: THR...GODDAMNIT!

Covert Jay: Seriously, chill.

Vinegar: Lord Raab kicks out as Thornfield complains that the count was too slow. Chartreuse tells him to focus on the match and not the count.

Covert Jay: That’s a hell of a glare from him to Brian.

Lieberjosch: He doesn’t have time for this if he wants to win.

Vinegar: True, but that doesn’t seem to have occurred to him. Thornfield points at Chartreuse, then at Lord Raab and wheels around.

Lieberjosch: Jesus, that was one hell of a kick to the face.

Covert Jay: If he didn’t have soul before, he does now.

Lieberjosch: Again with the puns…

Vinegar: Lord Raab keels back over and Thornfield leaps onto him, raining down punches and elbows. Chartreuse warns him to break off, but Thornfield pushes him away and continues.

Lieberjosch: Don’t give this doof a win by getting yourself disqualified.

Vinegar: Thornfield finally rolls off and kicks Lord Raab in the side of his head angrily, then kneels and places him in a sort of modified sleeper before dropping to the mat.

Lieberjosch: That’s an interesting tactic. Maybe he’ll get lucky and sedate the masked lunatic. The big guy should be used to being sedated.

Vinegar: It doesn’t appear to be working. The big man has rolled over with Thornfield on his back and is pushing himself up to his knees.

Covert Jay: Thornfield looks confused.

Lieberjosch: And a bit nervous. If you want to be Cross-Hemisphere Champion, and wants to win this tournament, you must be able to handle these situations.

Vinegar: He releases the hold and dashes back to the ropes, springing forward as fast as he can. He leaps as Raab gets to one foot and drives his feet into the back of the giant’s head with a textbook shotgun dropkick that sends Lord Raab dangling between the top and second ropes. Thornfield darts to the corner pivots on the ring post...

Lieberjosch: Impressive.

Vinegar: He crashes down onto Lord Raab with a double stomp that sends him to the apron but leaves Raab tangled up in the ropes. Thornfield turns and delivers a savage kick to Lord Raab’s head, then dumps him back into the ring and follows him with a slingshot DDT. He turns over and attempts a pin, but Lord Raab kicks out at one.

Covert Jay: I’d have been out for a week after that.

Lieberjosch: You’d have been in a coma, and I would’ve welcomed the sustained silence.

Vinegar: Thornfield executes a snap suplex, pulls Lord Raab back up, drops him stomach first across the top rope, and latches on an armbar.

Lieberjosch: There’s a problem with this strategy.

Covert Jay: What’s that?

Lieberjosch: What Raab just did.

Covert Jay: Planted his feet on the apron? Why is that... ohhhh...

Lieberjosch: Yeah.

Vinegar: Lord Raab is showing incredible strength as he deadlifts Thornfield up with one arm and turns so that he’s facing

Lieberjosch: Us.

Vinegar: We might want to move.

Covert Jay: Air Raab!!!

Lieberjosch: Shit!

Vinegar: Crap!!

Covert Jay: Where’re you guys go...oh no...

...

...

...

...

Vinegar: We’re sorry about that, folks! Lord Raab just leaped from the apron and demolished our announce table with “The Chokeinator!”

Lieberjosch: I hate that name.

Vinegar: I bet that Gideon hates it more right now.

Lieberjosch: True. Totally fair.

Vinegar: Where’s Jay?

Lieberjosch: I don’t... wait...

Vinegar: What?

Lieberjosch: He’s under Thornfield and the remains of the table.

Vinegar: Is it cliche that an announce table gets destroyed during almost every pay per view..

Vinegar: It’s certainly a trope now.

Lieberjosch: To say the least.

Vinegar: Well...now we have no table and no Jay…

Lieberjosch: The second part is magnificent. I’d complain that Raab should be disqualified for that, but he took out Jay, so I’m willing to let it slide.

Vinegar: How magnanimous of you.

Lieberjosch: I know. I’m an incredible person.

Vinegar: You need to settle down.

Lieberjosch: Like Jay and Thornfield?

Vinegar: Not quite that... aggressively.

Lieberjosch: Lord Raab’s aggressiveness just destroyed our table… and Gideon Thornfield.

Vinegar: Who he just hefted up and threw over the top rope. Thornfield lands with a thud and lays motionless as Lord Raab steps back into the ring over the top rope. He pulls a still very dazed Thornfield up and smashes him in the face with a vicious headbutt.

Lieberjosch: That seems a bit harsh.

Vinegar: He holds Thornfield up, then upends him and drops to the canvas, posting him with a nasty piledriver.

Lieberjosch: Damn it... I hate it when Raab’s succeed.

Vinegar: He hasn’t won yet.

Lieberjosch: Those knees to Thornfield’s head won’t hurt.

Vinegar: Not at all.

Lieberjosch: I don’t think Thornfield has moved. Not that Lord Blah has let him.

Vinegar: Raab, Hans. Stop being childish.

Lieberjosch: You can’t make me.

Vinegar: Good grief. Anyway, while you’ve been acting like a four-year-old, Lord Raab has been suplexing Thornfield all over the ring.

Lieberjosch: Thornfield is stumbling around like he’s drunk.

Vinegar: SPEAR!!! Spear by Lord Raab!

Lieberjosch: Check please! Thornfield’s done!

Vinegar: Lord Raab is signalling for “The Chokeinator!”

Lieberjosch: God I hate that name.

Vinegar: We know. You won’t shut the hell up about it.

Lieberjosch: It’s stupid.

Vinegar: Well, you think it’s “stupid,” but after getting splattered on the canvas with it, Thornfield's feelings are likely different.

Lieberjosch: I imagine that feeling like you’ve been in a car wreck without the cars will do that.

Vinegar: Lord Raab signals for the “Killerbuster.”

Lieberjosch: Another fear-inducing name...

Vinegar: KILLERBUSTER!!! Lord Raab rolls Thornfield over and drapes across for the pin!

Lieberjosch: Goddammit.

Vinegar: One!



Lieberjosch: Two!!



Covert Jay: Three... ugh.

Vinegar: He’s done it! Lord Raab advances to the next round!

Lieberjosch: I hate my life.

Dennis: Ladies and gentlemen, you winner by PINFALL... LOOOOOORRRRRDDDD RAAAAAABBBBB!!!!!

[UGWC Staff]

UGWC Cooperative Championship

The Syndicate vs The Empire of Calamity

I, CX-12, have infiltrated the Wrestlestock festival in the desert, gathering data on this era's martial combat techniques.
The sun beats down on the crowd, yet their enthusiasm remains unwavering. Fascinating.

My advanced sensors detect a sudden darkness in the arena, followed by a lone spotlight illuminating the stage. My audio
processing units recognize the entrance theme… (Searching…) "Ladies and Gentlemen" by Saliva. I analyze the pyrotechnic
display, noting the calculated timing to maximize crowd impact.

As the lift rises, I focus on this one, flanked by two females. My databases identify this entrance is designed to showcase his confidence and charisma. I track the women's movements, noting their deliberate and
choreographed actions, emphasizing this one's perceived vanity.

As this one reveals his physique and strikes a pose, I assess his physical attributes and potential combat capabilities. My
strategic analysis modules predict that this one will utilize his charm and arrogance to distract his opponents,
potentially disguising his true strengths.

Just as this one's entrance begins in earnest, the lights dim once more, and the entrance theme… (Searching…)"Break Those Bones
Whose Sinews Gave Them Motion" by Meshuggah blares through the speakers. This one emerges, joining this one on stage.
Together, they walk down to the ring, their confident strides exuding a sense of unity and purpose.

I update my strategic analysis, acknowledging the potential alliance between this one and this one. Their combined strength
and coordinated entrance suggest a formidable team, capable of adapting to various combat scenarios. I continue to monitor
their movements, ready to adapt my strategy as the match unfolds. The crowd's reaction is intense, and I note the
effectiveness of their entrance in garnering attention and animosity from the audience.

My advanced sensors detect a sudden change in the arena's atmosphere. The lights dim, and the sound system pulsates with
the opening chords of… (Searching…)"Undead" by Hollywood Undead. I analyze the audio frequencies and recognize the song's
intense energy.

As the spotlights flicker and synchronize with the music's rhythm, I detect a surge in crowd enthusiasm. The arena erupts
in cheers and chants of "UNDEAD!" My visual processing units focus on the stage, where this one emerges, radiating
confidence and energy.

I track her movements as she engages with the audience, slapping hands and smiling. Her entrance is a masterful blend of
showmanship and crowd psychology. My databases indicate that this entrance is designed to energize the crowd and intimidate
her opponents.

As she ascends the turnbuckle, I analyze her physical movements, noting her athleticism and poise. The leather gloves she
puts on symbolize her preparedness for combat. My strategic analysis modules predict that this one will be a formidable
opponent in the upcoming match.

With her entrance complete, I continue to monitor the situation, ready to gather more data and insights as the match
unfolds.

My advanced sensors detect a sudden darkness in the arena, followed by flashing lights synchronized with the sirens and
beat of… (Searching…) Sweatpants (BattleTapes Remix) by Childish Gambino. My audio processing units analyze the lyrics,
recognizing the confident and assertive tone.

As the lights flash on the rampway, I focus on this one, standing with his arms wide and head covered by his hood. My
databases identify this entrance as showcasing his confidence and arrogance. I track his movements, noting his deliberate
and calculated actions, emphasizing his perceived villainous persona.

The Union Flag pattern on his jacket, though cracked and broken, suggests a potential connection to British culture or
heritage. His tights, with the initials SEB emblazoned on them, reinforce his identity and branding.

As this one enters the ring, I assess his physical attributes and potential combat capabilities. My strategic analysis
modules predict that this one will utilize his confidence and arrogance to distract his opponents, potentially disguising
his true strengths.

The lyrics and this one's gestures suggest a focus on individuality and self-empowerment. His sneery grin and satisfied
expression reinforce his persona, likely intended to provoke a reaction from the audience. I continue to monitor his
movements, ready to adapt my strategy as the match unfolds. The crowd's reaction is intense, and I note the effectiveness
of this one's entrance in garnering attention and envy from the audience.

The UGWC Cooperative Championship match begins, and I focus my advanced sensors on the competitors. Sebastian...
(Searching...) Ah, yes, Sebastian Everett-Bryce of The Empire of Calamity, delivers a dropkick to Zane's chest, followed by
a running knee to the gut. Zane... (Searching...) Zane Scott of The Syndicate, recovers and executes a... (Searching...)
judo throw.

Lucy... (Searching...) Lucy Wylde of The Empire of Calamity, tags in and applies the... (Searching...) anaconda vice on
Zane. Alan... (Searching...) Alan Wallace of The Syndicate, breaks the hold with a... (Searching...) flying elbow drop.
Processing… Alan appears to also be listed in my database as “Human Aesthetic Model: Prime”.

Lucy responds with a... (Searching...) springboard leg lariat, but misses the mark. Alan counters with a... (Searching...)
German suplex. Alan attempts a pinfall, but is only able to get a count of two before Lucy kicks out.

Sebastian tags back in and hits a... (Searching...) DDT to Alan. He attempts a pinfall for a count of two before Zane tags
in and locks in the... (Searching...) Kubi Hishigi, a rare and intricate submission hold. Lucy breaks the hold by reversing
into a... (Searching...) scissored armbar.

Zane tags out to Alan, who delivers a... (Searching...) swinging neckbreaker to Sebastian. Sebastian kicks out of a pin
attempt and tags Lucy in. Lucy catches him in the... (Searching...) dragon sleeper with body scissors. Alan breaks the hold
with an... (Searching...) atomic drop.

Lucy responds with a... (Searching...) tornado DDT, but Alan is able to shove her away before she can land. Alan pulls off
a... (Searching...) vertical suplex to Lucy. Before he can attempt a pinfall, Lucy scrambles for her corner

Sebastian tags back in and hits Alan with... (Searching...) The Conquest. As he finishes up, Zane tags in blindly
and surprises Sebastian with... (Searching...) The Can Opener. Lucy crashes in with a... (Searching...) shining wizard that
crumples Zane.

Sebastian follows up with... (Searching...) The Stamford Bridge and attempts a pinfall. He only manages a count of
two, but nearly gets the fall. Alan tags in and snaps on... (Searching...) the crossface chicken wing to Sebastian. He
follows up with the… (Searching...) Curtain Call, but Lucy interrupts with a... (Searching...) superkick.

Sebastian tags out to Lucy, who arrives with a... (Searching...) flying headbutt to Alan's chest. Zane tags in and uses...
(Searching...) the inverted gutwrench suplex slam on Lucy. Zane attempts a pinfall, but Sebastian breaks the pin attempt
with... (Searching...) The Empire Kick.

Lucy manages... (Searching...) the Nightmare Sleeper to Zane, but Alan quickly breaks it up with a... (Searching...)
Cherry Popper. Sebastian tags in and sets up for... (Searching...) an axe kick to Alan.

Zane attacks and uses... (Searching...) the rear-mounted forearm on Sebastian. Lucy surprises Zane with a... (Searching...)
spinning heel kick. Sebastian recovers and scrambles for... (Searching...) The S4S to Zane. Alan reaches in and tags
in, then scoots around to pull Sebastian into... (Searching...) the figure four leg lock, forcing him to let go of Zane
just as Zane was fading

Lucy stops this with a... (Searching...) Meteor Strike. She covers, and the referee counts to two, but Zane breaks
the pin attempt with a… (Searching...) Salt the Earth.. Sebastian attempts a... (Searching...) Nightfall, but
Zane powers to his feet and pulls Sebastian into a… (Searching...) In Cold Blood.

Zane attempts the cover, but only gets a two count when Sebastian kicks out. Lucy appears next to Zane and pulls him to his
feet, setting up for a… (Searching...) double suplex alongside Sebastian. She takes advantage with a… (Searching...)
Fury Brand, and Sebastian takes the cover.

The referee counts to three, then declares Lucy Wylde and Sebastian Everett-Bryce the winners. The Empire of Calamity
retains the Cooperative Championships.

I, CX-12, have gathered valuable data on this era's martial combat techniques.

[Mr.Ego]

It’s been a while since I left any sort of feedback, but for an event such as WrestleStock – with all the work that the staff puts in to putting it all together, plus seeing as how I doubt I’ll make time to leave feedback for all of the roleplays that were written for the event – I figure the least I can do is take a few minutes to write up my thoughts for the show itself. I’ll go match/segment by match/segment (and day by day), so that I can try to hit on everything.

Opening Segment

I enjoyed the little bit of history that we got behind ‘The Syndicate’, and not just because I was a part of it. It just goes to show that while Sebastian and Lucy are a well-oiled machine who have been a dominant team for quite some time, they are facing two people who have their own history with one another. And that while they have faced many challenges since winning the Cooperative Titles, tonight they battle against two people who know each other possibly as well as Lucy and Sebastian know each other. Which hopefully leads to an epic encounter between the two teams to close out night one of the WrestleStock festivities.

WrestleStock Open – Round 1
Ezra Wolf vs. The Dark Destroyer

I think this match ended how most would have expected. Ezra went in and did what he needed to do, and advanced in the tourney. I would have liked to have seen more from DD, though. Maybe he luckily connects with a move, much to everyone’s surprise? Or even if it would have meant more hilarity once he made it into the ring, bumbling and fumbling, before Ezra turned his lights out for the three-count. But I digress…

Kudos to Ez for advancing.

And personally… where’s that damn bear when you need her, amirite?

WrestleStock Open – Round 1
Riley Reverent Reed vs. Larry Tact

I think the writer did a good job of showcasing the size and strength difference between the two during the match, and wrote RRR exceedingly well in being the underdog who is trying her damndest to battle back from the circumstances she finds herself in. Some near falls both ways, but in the end Larry Tact finds a way to emerge with the victory.

Kudos to Larry on advancing, and kudos to RRR for a good showing.

WrestleStock Open – Round 1
Gideon Thornfield vs. Lord Raab

Though he’s technically gifted in the ring, this match showed the lengths that Gideon will go (with help from Neville) in order to emerge successful. In the end though, Lord Raab showcased his toughness to not only absorb all of the punishment that Gideon dished out, but somehow battled back and got the pinfall.

It’s always tough writing characters that we aren’t familiar with, but I think the writer did a damn good job of showcasing to the reader exactly what Lord Raab is all about.

Kudos to Lord Raab for advancing.

UGWC Cooperative Championship
The Syndicate vs. The Engine of Calamity

I’m going to go out on a limb and assume that B wrote this match, because he always finds a way to incorporate new ways/formats to write, to give us something different from the standard wrestling match. But if that assumption is wrong, to whoever it was who wrote this, well done.

I enjoyed the different take on the results for this match. It allowed each member to shine by showcasing the bigger spots of the match, while not getting bogged down with commentary from the announce team (which, back four score and 7 years ago when I actually wrote matches, the match itself was the easy part. The commentary was a pain in my ass.) So good on ya for taking the route that you did for this match. It was indeed different, and I enjoyed it.

Kudos to Lucy and Sebastian for retaining the Cooperative Championship. Hopefully we gave the two of you a worthy challenge.

Overall

All in all, extremely solid Day 1. It’s been a bit since I’ve fully participating in WrestleStock, so it’s been good getting back into the swing of things regarding the event that I think is the most important one of the year (No offense to Horizons).

Great job by the staff in putting the day together, and congratulations to all of you who roleplayed your asses off for Day 1. It’s all been a joy to read.