Post by T-Robosaurus Rex on Jun 26, 2010 19:17:51 GMT -5
Travis – 'What happened and when will you be back?'
[The Headliner's voice echoes around the room, suggesting the space he inhabits whilst taking this call is relatively small.]
eD – 'I'll be back in a few minutes or so, you have no idea what I witnessed,no idea whatsoever...'
Travis – 'You found him though?'
eD – 'Nope, for such an unforgettable specimen he seems to be strangely adept at slipping away from carnage and chaos unnoticed. Where are you? Your voice sounds echoey...'
Travis – 'The apartment, Travis Roberts has you on loudspeaker...'
eD – 'Not again! I'm not going through that humiliation again, who's with you?'
Travis – 'No-one, stop trying to avoid a glaring problem in the information you have given 'The Headliner' thus far. Why in the name of TWiSTeD are you returning without him?''
eD – 'Well, when the News Trucks pulled up, and an army of reporters descended on the place, I didn't think my presence could lead to anything productive for us, the team or the company in general.'
Travis – 'For once that was probably a wise call. What the hell happened?'
eD - 'I was making my way back from the Babylon 5 Appreciation Convention, which so happened to just be six overweight, spectacled, sweaty and incredibly boring middle aged men sitting in someone's garage, when I came across a sight that will traumatise me to this day, I thought I'd just take a gentle stroll through the park...when...when...I'd rather not think about it ok?'
Travis – 'What could possibly be that bad? Wait! Did you catch Phrixus Deimos having a 'morale victory' in a bush?'
eD – 'Thanks, that's exactly what I needed right now, an alternative horrifying image.'
Travis – ''The Blessed One' is always on hand to offer alternatives, but is there any chance you could expand further, this bit is tricky...'
eD – 'Tricky? What are you doing...'
Travis – 'Look, will you just...DAMMIT!...now look what you've made 'The TWiSTeD Icon' do. 'The Headliner' has given you the golden opportunity to speak uninterrupted for a fair amount of time, and you are just throwing it back in his face? Travis Roberts will bear this in mind for the future...
eD – 'OK...Ok...I've been thinking about this week, and although you are not wrestling, this is quite an important night for you. The Great Sphinx only knows how I've managed to all of a sudden enter Tyvola's good graces, but I'm pretty sure he's still wary of yourself. Synergy is a golden opportunity for us to rectify this, if you make sure those Brick City Boyz don't get a chance to double team him, he may see that you are loyal to him, as loyalty seems to be a trait he values highly.'
Travis – 'Perfect! That was the exact kind of inane, irrelevant drivel 'The Most Influential Icon in Sports Entertainment this Millennia' was looking for, and now he's onto the final straight...'
eD – 'So you weren't even listening?'
Travis – 'Sounds like you weren't, Travis Roberts only just remarked about the irrelevance and inanity of it. It started badly with your suggestion that a mere managing role on the card makes this Synergy an important night for 'The Blessed One', and just descended into absolute tripe. Insinuating both the members of the Brick City Boyz could even get past contemplating double teaming the Bearded Bastard without suffering brain aneurysms was almost the height of madness, but then you managed to outdo yourself by questioning the bond between Travis Roberts and his loyal protege.'
eD – 'Ok, you were listening, but maybe you should take this a little more seriously, remember Paul Cockatoo is in the match to, and he can be unpredictable...'
Travis – 'Cockatoo? JK's simple footman? Hell 'The Headliner' would be surprised if he even knew who is opponents actually were, let alone how to pose a threat to either.'
eD – 'You shouldn't be so dismissive of people all the time...'
Travis – 'Because it's been such a limitation on the Three Time GIW Global Champion and longest reigning champion in that companies history's career so far?'
eD – 'Ok, before this goes any further I'm approaching the apartment now, I'll be up in a few.'
Travis – 'See you then.
[The scene immediately changes and we see the inside of eD's apartment, Donovan's throne stands empty nearest the window, the TV is un-environmentally sitting on stand by, the ashtray on the coffee table sits disturbingly empty, in short the entire room is deserted. We hear eD slip his key in the door, and then he walks through, taking a few moments to come to the conclusion we have just drawn. He looks round and then calls out.]
eD – 'Trav?'
[After a few moments without reply he raises his voice.]
eD – 'TRAVIS!'
[Still no reply, and now eD starts shuffling up and down the carpet, looking much like you imagine Travis Pierce looks as he awaits the mail, hoping for the first fan letter of his career, a look of dismal pessimism.]
eD – 'Crap...Crap...Crap...I can't have lost him too, The Consortium will have my balls in a vice, and Ooley will probably use me for baseball practice every morning...how could this day get any worse...'
[At this exact moment Travis Roberts emerges from the bathroom, drying his face with a towel. eD's whole body relaxes and he looks visibly relived to see this half of the UGWC Cooperative Champions standing before him. 'The Blessed One' removes the towel to reveal a freshly shaved face, with a small cut on the chin. eD's body goes rigid, and then inexplicably he bursts into tears, and runs past Travis and into his room bawling uncontrollably. Travis watches his expression never changing, and as the door slams behind his strange agent, he just shrugs, and pulls a pre-rolled from his trouser pocket, lights it and struts over to the sofa where he switches on the TV to a local news report]
News Reporter - 'I am standing just outside the grounds of the Killswitch Memorial Park in our fine city, and behind me lies one of the most shocking scenes of carnage our fair state has ever witnessed. The Oceanside Live Action Role-playing Society chose this fine summers weekend to hold their Tenth Annual 'Battle For Lost Self Esteem', never did they envisage what would unfold would be far worse than even their questionable minds could fantasize about.
Only moments ago I was allowed access to the scene, and the tents that had been used for light refreshments and minor injuries have been turned into full scale medical field tents to treat those with the less threatening injuries. I have been told at least five Sage's, a Dozen Warlocks and over Twenty Wizards have been rushed to local hospitals.
The variet of injuries sustained is remarkable, some have fake weapons lodged in area's I cannot speak of on this newscast, others have had to be extracted after being buried head first in the ground, many dozens of young girls had to be cut down from surrounding tree's, and apparently at least 36 of those taking part are still unaccounted for. A full scale search of the local grounds are under way, but it is possible some fled in panic. The police are advising the public that if they see any frail, socially awkward men or women cowering in a corner, hugging their knees, do not approach them, just call 911 and direct the services to their whereabouts.
As outlandish as the details of the victims are, what is more shocking is that it appears, from witness statements, that this entire scene of devastation was caused by a single individual. Descriptions differ, from some people claiming God has fallen on hard times and was wandering drunkenly through through the park, others claim it was the work of an Urban Yeti, a few suggest it was merely a schizophrenic mountain man screaming about an Egyptian landmark, and one man was entirley convinced it was the work of a Government Hybrid of man and Grizzly Bear in an attempt to reignite the cold war using said men in the freezing climate of Siberia to start a surprise attack.
Whatever the cause of this tragedy it is unlikely the millions of Live Action Role Players will forget this day for many years to come, however whilst they mark it's anniversary by creating a new set of spells the rest of the world will revert to ostracising this group of unique individuals. What is the real tragedy here? The many injured, or the millions of lives that cannot be saved?
I am Cindy Hanson reporting for Real People Tonight! Back to the studio.'
[Travis turns the TV off with a knowing smile before he turns as he hears eD emerge from his room. The animated muppets eyes are cleary still red from his unbelievable breakdown, and Travis just looks over the rim of his Aviators and raises his eyebrows.]
eD – 'Why?'
Travis – 'Really? You really think it's 'The Blessed One' who has something to explain after that little meltdown?'
eD – 'Look, I told you I had a traumatic experience today, and I wasn't expecting to have to deal with such a monumental change, it threw me off balance and it all came out. You have had that beard since I met you, it was a left-field shock, ok? Now please, why?'
[Travis stands up abruptly, more animated than we have seen him for quite a while]
Travis – 'Isn't it obvious! Some mouth breeding, back sliding, unimaginative unexplained growth of an individual has undergone a campaign to viciously smear the good names of the UGWC Cooperative Champions! They're calling us 'The Blessed Beards' have you heard them, almost everyone is using that afterbirth of a name to describe the most dominant teaming in the history of UGWC. Well no more, 'The Blessed One' has foiled their plans, anyone who mutters the name 'The Blessed Beards' will look like the window licking fool they truly are.'
eD – 'And you look like what? Jus don't let anyone else know why you did it ok?'
[Travis sinks onto the sofa, looking up at eD with a vulnerability we haven't seen on him n some time.]
Travis – 'Everyone man...Everyone! Probably even Donovan...
[With that the scene ends, and before we are finally left with nothing else to ponder, we are transported forward intime to Monday Night and Synergy. ED cASe is walking backstage, apparently looking for soemthing, probably Tyvola, and he opens the door to a locker room with no name on it.]
eD - 'I do apologise, sorry, sorry, sorry...I thought this room was vacant...sorry'
[eD backs out of the room hurriedly obviously embarrassed to have walked in on an awkward situation, and we hear the door lock as he turns and begins to walk of, his pace suddenly slows and he looks back.]
eD – 'Was that?'
[He stops in his tracks for a moment before shaking his head]
eD – 'No...no...of course it wasn't....that's a ridiculous thought....the hair was all wrong for a start...'