Post by T-Robosaurus Rex on Jul 22, 2009 18:24:16 GMT -5
[Travis Roberts is standing in the parking lot of the GIW car park, he eD cASe is standing next to him pacing backwards and forwards with an expression of tension stretched across his face. Travis is leaning against the bonnet of his car, looking towards the sky, Global heavyweight Title draped across his right hand shoulder, contently smoking on one of his special roll ups, not even acknowledging the camera crew that has arrived to film him. A limousine pulls up beside the pair, and Craig Futile steps out.]
Craig – “I got your message, it sounded important, what’s going on?”
eD – “You don’t wanna know. It’s a mistake, a huge[/b] mistake! I don’t know why I came along, this is just gonna end bad, I can’t see any other way this is going to go…”[/color]
[Travis clips eD around the back of the head, but still remains comfortably reclined on the car]
Travis – “Stop with the inane gibbering little man. You’ve got a knack for blowing things out of proportion…”
eD – “I’m not the one with the death wish!”
Travis – “The hell you say? Have you been at Travis Roberts’ stash furry dude? Ain’t now way ‘The Blessed One’ is losing his life over this…”
[Craig steps in between Travis and eD, looks at both and then at his watch…]
Craig – “Would anyone mind enlightening me as to why[/b] I cancelled a meeting with Mr Yotimoshua, which was going to involve several lap dancing clubs, to come here to the GIW arena? It can’t be to mediate another one of your little disagreements...”[/color]
Travis – “’The Blessed One’ has been disrespected, ‘The Highest Standard in GIW’ has been mocked, and ‘The Headliner’ will not stand for it.”
eD – “I say we let him keep the damn sink…”
Craig – “Ah so we know who vandalised The Roberts Estate Kitchen? How’d you find out…”
Travis – “Apparently ‘The Headliner’ knew all along, ‘The TWiSTeD Guerrilla’ divulged the name of the culprit to Declan Prescott two weeks before Battleground”
Craig – “So you forgot?”
Travis – “Just like Elephants, Travis Roberts never forgets, it merely slipped ‘The Blessed Ones’ mind whilst preparing to claim The Global Heavyweight Championship…”
eD – “Hold up! What was that about Elephants…they never forget? Is that true…”
Craig – “As far as I know, yeah…”
eD – “Oh shit…that’s not good…”
[Travis and Craig both exchange glances as eD drifts off into his own paranoia riddled subconscious, after a brief pause the conversation resumes]
Travis – “So, with the culprit identified, and ‘The Highest Standard in GIW’ having a well earned week off from competitive action, ‘The Blessed One’ figured it was time to posse up, and teach the bastard a lesson…”
Craig – “So who was it, don’t tell me BoolZ! The guy had a Bring Your Own Kitchen Sink match later that week…”
Travis – “Pfft! BoolZ is a fairly intelligent guy, he wouldn’t be stupid enough to break into ‘The Blessed Ones’ abode, you’d have to be certifiably insane or a criminal mastermind to do such a thing…”
Craig – “Certifiably insane, huh? So we’re looking for Andy Savana?”
Travis – “The guy may have an infinite amount of personalities, but none of them have the intellect to figure out how to operate ‘The Blessed Ones’ microwave, let alone steal his sink…”
eD – “Seriously, let’s just forget about the whole thing, let’s go home and just slap on some music and all chill out and go to our happy places…”
Travis – “Are you any use to Travis Roberts whatsoever? You’re meant to be the guy that gets ‘The Blessed Ones’ back, sure it’s only a symbolic gesture, not like you’re gonna be getting into any trouble, just gotta stand behind ‘The TWiSTeD Icon’ and look angry, but you’re not even good for that…”
[Craig is stroking his chin in deep thought, his eyes closed, and head facing the ground. Suddenly an idea pops into his head, his neck snaps back and his eyes shoot open…]
Craig – “Marlo!”
[Both eD and Travis start looking around frantically, and both simultaneously shout out:]
Travis and eD – “WHERE?”
Craig – “No…not here, she’s the closest thing to a criminal mastermind GIW has…”
eD – “Thank the lords! I thought she/he was going to unleash one of his/her super weapons on us…”
Travis – “’The Blessed One’ was more worried she/he was gonna unleash his/her 124 pound ass on us…but alas, no it was not Marlo that did the deed, ‘The Headliner’ would have gladly handed the bitch/bastard a lesson in respect single handidly…you’re a smart guy Craig, Travis Roberts shouldn’t have to spell it out to you, who is unpredictable and dangerous enough to warrant ‘The Highest Standard in GIW’ calling for backup…”
Craig – “You don’t mean?”
Travis – “Yes.”
Craig – “Surely not?”
Travis – “Travis Roberts can assure you…”
Craig – “I know he’s pulled some crazy shit with us before, but this just crosses the line…”
Travis – “Thank you! Finally a voice of sensibility, this yellow cripple here keeps on spouting shit about ‘reasonable explanations’ and ‘his side of the story’, even insinuated ‘The Headliner’ could not handle his smoke, and possibly imagined the whole thing…”
Craig – “So where the hell is that damn penguin, we gotta go teach him some manners.”
Travis – “’The Blessed One’ got some guys tailing him last week, but they lost him, last sight of him was waddling into the arena before the show last week…he hasn’t been seen since…”
eD – “He’ll be long gone by now, he’s probably drinking tequila out of some whores bellybutton, whilst sniffing coke out of another ones butt crack in Mexico right now.”
Travis – “’The Blessed One’ has expensive tastes, but his sink ain’t gonna fund a trip to Mehico baby!”
Craig – “Then why are we here?”
Travis – “Because ‘The Highest Standard in GIW’ is pretty sure some cretin on the roster is harbouring the damn bird, and if so the smell of cigar smoke and fish will lead us directly to their locker room…”
Craig – “So who are the prime suspects, Chris Austin? He recently called you out, said he was gonna take that title off you…”
Travis – “By the time that flip-flopping, Viagra addict gets another shot at this baby…”
[Travis motions to the GIW Global heavyweight Title that’s sits on his shoulder, sparkling in the midday sun]
Travis – “’The Blessed One’ will have been long in retirement, Declan Prescott will have got out of the Business, and this place will probably be in the shape it was in prior to ‘The Blessed Ones’ debut. As for harbouring that damn cigar smoking asshole, despite calling ‘The Blessed One’ out, Chris Austin wouldn’t want travis Roberts to come looking for him, I’m pretty sure he’s still licking his wounds from the last time ‘The Blessed One’ gave up his precious time to mention him…”
Craig – “Maybe it was War and Peace, those guys think their pretty funny, maybe they thought it would be a good prank?”
Travis – “Not a chance! Those guys are infatuated by ‘The Headliner’, not only do they recognise how powerful a foe Travis Roberts would be, ‘The Highest Standard in GIW’ introduced those guys to Yoda, there ain’t now way in hell Zeke or Xavier would risk ‘The Headliner’ getting them blacklisted.”
Craig – “What about that Dredd guy then, he seems to have a problem with War and Peace, and they make their admirations for you well known, maybe he thought fucking with you would be a good way of fucking with them…”
Travis – “What’s a guy from Texas gonna do with a Penguin? If he’d tried to screw it, we’d know by now as Dredd would have joined the list of Professional Wrestlers that die in mysterious circumstances. Besides, even given the remote possibility that the hick ain’t into bestiality, that worn out old biker can barely look after himself, let alone a flightless bird from the southern hemisphere. How can guy who has probably urinated blood more times than eD has underperformed in the bedroom, ensure a Penguin can survive the heat of Dallas? And besides, when the guy isn’t completely wrecked he don’t seem retarded enough to cross the path of ‘The Blessed One’…”
Craig – “If they gotta be retarded look no further than Sean Cyanide”
Travis – “Who?”
Craig – “That monkey kid, ya know the attention seeking guy that disappeared for a little while, I forget why, only to return…”
Travis – “You mean Sean Jensen?”
Craig – “He calls himself Cyanide now, something to do with resurrection and zombies…ya might need to talk to Calypso Desmona if ya want more info…”
Travis – “Whatever. Jensen can’t even commit suicide successfully…”
Craig – “Mores the pity…”
Travis – “Indeed, kid probably doesn’t even know what a Penguin looks like, Jensen probably thinks it’s a breed of Zebra. Travis Roberts is Global heavyweight Champion, and refuses to lower his conversations to the level of Sean Jensen…”
Craig – “Honestly, I don’t see who it could be. I mean they’d have to be damn smart, have balls the size of melons to cross you and/or be incredibly stupid, and be able to keep a chain smoking, loud mouthed, gangbanging, penguin off your radar…I can’t think of anyone in this company that fits that description…”
eD – “I can…”
[Travis and Craig both turn towards eD for the first time in quite some time. They both look at him expectantly]
eD – “Declan Prescott”
[Both Travis and Craig raise their eyebrows, and Travis begins to look agitated]
eD – “Come on guys! It’s obvious! He’s the only guy who could pull this kinda thing off, and it’s clear to anyone with eyes that he’s gonna cheat you at some point. He’s probably got a favour from that damn penguin now; you gotta start watchin’ your back Travis! For TWiSTeD’s sake, the guy has made your first title defence a triple threat match! And one of them will pick what kind of match it will be, whilst you have to officiate their damn match to decide who decides your fate! You can’t tell me you went along with that? That you had some part in that plan…”
Travis – “Does it never end? Before you open your mouth again, you ignorant little man, actually watch the show! The Revolution decided that no one man was good enough to face ‘The Blessed One’, the only way to give the sponsors the kind of suspense they need, was to have ‘The Blessed One’ face two opponents?
Does ‘The Headliner’ look worried about this course of events? Does Travis Roberts look as though he fears whatever match is chosen? Throw another of those goddamn battleground losers in the match for all ‘The Headliner’ cares. ‘The Highest Standar’ does not parade around with the Global heavyweight Championship undeservingly like our past Champion, ‘The Blessed One’ is the very pinnacle of this company, and if the Global Heavyweight Champion cannot beat some upstart and a delusional Global Impact Wrestling is in some serious trouble.
‘The Blessed One’ has noticed the young dragon is developing something of a bite. Travis Roberts has it on good authority that this outwardly amiable gentleman actually spends hours of his day ranting to himself and talking down his opponents. ‘The Blessed One’ even took a look in this kids mandatory psyche evaluation from GIW’s resident shrink, and apparently dear old Alex has conversations with little dragons that appear on his shoulder. Does this guy seem like a viable threat to ‘The Most Influential Icon in Sports Entertainment this Millenia’?
It’s just a thought, but if ‘The Dragon’ really wants to make the most of his big shot at glory in London at Distant Whispers, and not be completely humiliated by ‘The TWiSteD Guerrilla, he might wanna spend more talking his opponents down on camera, rather than in front of the mirror like some teenage wannabe.
As for Brandon Brown, Travis Roberts has begun to wonder why anyone took this guy seriously before? ‘The Headliner’ has had his fair share of mind expanding drugs, but none of them could make sense of some of the nonsense our only multiple holder of this belt says and does. Only last week he compared The Revolution to a cancer. Correct ‘The Blessed One’ if he’s wrong, but hasn’t GIW steadily grown since The Revolution started to put their plans into action? It can definitely be argued that The Revolution are a cancer to Brandon Browns career, because as long as ‘The Blessed One’ and ‘The Significant Player’ continue to set the bar so high for the members of GIW, the longer Brandon Brown will go without tasting Global Heavyweight gold.
At Distant Whispers Travis Roberts vows to attempt to knock some sense into the so called ‘Most Resillient Man’ in Global Impact Wrestling, the fact ‘The Headliner’ has beaten Brown before bears no relevance to what will go down in the O2 Arena in London. For on October 18th Travis Roberts will beat Brandon Brown like a true champion, and possibly enlighten his path, and lead him away from Dude Where’s My Car-esque travesties…
But you guys are right, there is no way anyone in that Arena is harbouring that damn Penguin. Even The Crimson Ghost would struggle to satisfy that demanding little bastard, and if those two got into any kind of altercation it’d tear a hole in the space time continuum, and as that hasn’t happened ‘The Blessed One’ is entirely sure that the Ghost ain’t involved.
Might as well pack up and head back to the crib, we should probably tap up Yoda, and get some Pizza in. We’ll find that damn penguin, ‘the Headliner’ is as sure of that as he is of defending the Global Heavyweight Title successfully at Distant Whispers”
eD – “I just hope he doesn’t find us first…”
[With that Travis and Craig exchange goodbyes. Futile climbs back into his limo and pulls off, as Travis clips eD around the head once more, and tells him to drive him home. As both men climb into the car, the camera pans around to the back where we see the trunk of the car is open slightly, and what looks like a beady eye is glaring outwards. As the engine starts, the trunk closes shut, and our scene ends]
Craig – “I got your message, it sounded important, what’s going on?”
eD – “You don’t wanna know. It’s a mistake, a huge[/b] mistake! I don’t know why I came along, this is just gonna end bad, I can’t see any other way this is going to go…”[/color]
[Travis clips eD around the back of the head, but still remains comfortably reclined on the car]
Travis – “Stop with the inane gibbering little man. You’ve got a knack for blowing things out of proportion…”
eD – “I’m not the one with the death wish!”
Travis – “The hell you say? Have you been at Travis Roberts’ stash furry dude? Ain’t now way ‘The Blessed One’ is losing his life over this…”
[Craig steps in between Travis and eD, looks at both and then at his watch…]
Craig – “Would anyone mind enlightening me as to why[/b] I cancelled a meeting with Mr Yotimoshua, which was going to involve several lap dancing clubs, to come here to the GIW arena? It can’t be to mediate another one of your little disagreements...”[/color]
Travis – “’The Blessed One’ has been disrespected, ‘The Highest Standard in GIW’ has been mocked, and ‘The Headliner’ will not stand for it.”
eD – “I say we let him keep the damn sink…”
Craig – “Ah so we know who vandalised The Roberts Estate Kitchen? How’d you find out…”
Travis – “Apparently ‘The Headliner’ knew all along, ‘The TWiSTeD Guerrilla’ divulged the name of the culprit to Declan Prescott two weeks before Battleground”
Craig – “So you forgot?”
Travis – “Just like Elephants, Travis Roberts never forgets, it merely slipped ‘The Blessed Ones’ mind whilst preparing to claim The Global Heavyweight Championship…”
eD – “Hold up! What was that about Elephants…they never forget? Is that true…”
Craig – “As far as I know, yeah…”
eD – “Oh shit…that’s not good…”
[Travis and Craig both exchange glances as eD drifts off into his own paranoia riddled subconscious, after a brief pause the conversation resumes]
Travis – “So, with the culprit identified, and ‘The Highest Standard in GIW’ having a well earned week off from competitive action, ‘The Blessed One’ figured it was time to posse up, and teach the bastard a lesson…”
Craig – “So who was it, don’t tell me BoolZ! The guy had a Bring Your Own Kitchen Sink match later that week…”
Travis – “Pfft! BoolZ is a fairly intelligent guy, he wouldn’t be stupid enough to break into ‘The Blessed Ones’ abode, you’d have to be certifiably insane or a criminal mastermind to do such a thing…”
Craig – “Certifiably insane, huh? So we’re looking for Andy Savana?”
Travis – “The guy may have an infinite amount of personalities, but none of them have the intellect to figure out how to operate ‘The Blessed Ones’ microwave, let alone steal his sink…”
eD – “Seriously, let’s just forget about the whole thing, let’s go home and just slap on some music and all chill out and go to our happy places…”
Travis – “Are you any use to Travis Roberts whatsoever? You’re meant to be the guy that gets ‘The Blessed Ones’ back, sure it’s only a symbolic gesture, not like you’re gonna be getting into any trouble, just gotta stand behind ‘The TWiSTeD Icon’ and look angry, but you’re not even good for that…”
[Craig is stroking his chin in deep thought, his eyes closed, and head facing the ground. Suddenly an idea pops into his head, his neck snaps back and his eyes shoot open…]
Craig – “Marlo!”
[Both eD and Travis start looking around frantically, and both simultaneously shout out:]
Travis and eD – “WHERE?”
Craig – “No…not here, she’s the closest thing to a criminal mastermind GIW has…”
eD – “Thank the lords! I thought she/he was going to unleash one of his/her super weapons on us…”
Travis – “’The Blessed One’ was more worried she/he was gonna unleash his/her 124 pound ass on us…but alas, no it was not Marlo that did the deed, ‘The Headliner’ would have gladly handed the bitch/bastard a lesson in respect single handidly…you’re a smart guy Craig, Travis Roberts shouldn’t have to spell it out to you, who is unpredictable and dangerous enough to warrant ‘The Highest Standard in GIW’ calling for backup…”
Craig – “You don’t mean?”
Travis – “Yes.”
Craig – “Surely not?”
Travis – “Travis Roberts can assure you…”
Craig – “I know he’s pulled some crazy shit with us before, but this just crosses the line…”
Travis – “Thank you! Finally a voice of sensibility, this yellow cripple here keeps on spouting shit about ‘reasonable explanations’ and ‘his side of the story’, even insinuated ‘The Headliner’ could not handle his smoke, and possibly imagined the whole thing…”
Craig – “So where the hell is that damn penguin, we gotta go teach him some manners.”
Travis – “’The Blessed One’ got some guys tailing him last week, but they lost him, last sight of him was waddling into the arena before the show last week…he hasn’t been seen since…”
eD – “He’ll be long gone by now, he’s probably drinking tequila out of some whores bellybutton, whilst sniffing coke out of another ones butt crack in Mexico right now.”
Travis – “’The Blessed One’ has expensive tastes, but his sink ain’t gonna fund a trip to Mehico baby!”
Craig – “Then why are we here?”
Travis – “Because ‘The Highest Standard in GIW’ is pretty sure some cretin on the roster is harbouring the damn bird, and if so the smell of cigar smoke and fish will lead us directly to their locker room…”
Craig – “So who are the prime suspects, Chris Austin? He recently called you out, said he was gonna take that title off you…”
Travis – “By the time that flip-flopping, Viagra addict gets another shot at this baby…”
[Travis motions to the GIW Global heavyweight Title that’s sits on his shoulder, sparkling in the midday sun]
Travis – “’The Blessed One’ will have been long in retirement, Declan Prescott will have got out of the Business, and this place will probably be in the shape it was in prior to ‘The Blessed Ones’ debut. As for harbouring that damn cigar smoking asshole, despite calling ‘The Blessed One’ out, Chris Austin wouldn’t want travis Roberts to come looking for him, I’m pretty sure he’s still licking his wounds from the last time ‘The Blessed One’ gave up his precious time to mention him…”
Craig – “Maybe it was War and Peace, those guys think their pretty funny, maybe they thought it would be a good prank?”
Travis – “Not a chance! Those guys are infatuated by ‘The Headliner’, not only do they recognise how powerful a foe Travis Roberts would be, ‘The Highest Standard in GIW’ introduced those guys to Yoda, there ain’t now way in hell Zeke or Xavier would risk ‘The Headliner’ getting them blacklisted.”
Craig – “What about that Dredd guy then, he seems to have a problem with War and Peace, and they make their admirations for you well known, maybe he thought fucking with you would be a good way of fucking with them…”
Travis – “What’s a guy from Texas gonna do with a Penguin? If he’d tried to screw it, we’d know by now as Dredd would have joined the list of Professional Wrestlers that die in mysterious circumstances. Besides, even given the remote possibility that the hick ain’t into bestiality, that worn out old biker can barely look after himself, let alone a flightless bird from the southern hemisphere. How can guy who has probably urinated blood more times than eD has underperformed in the bedroom, ensure a Penguin can survive the heat of Dallas? And besides, when the guy isn’t completely wrecked he don’t seem retarded enough to cross the path of ‘The Blessed One’…”
Craig – “If they gotta be retarded look no further than Sean Cyanide”
Travis – “Who?”
Craig – “That monkey kid, ya know the attention seeking guy that disappeared for a little while, I forget why, only to return…”
Travis – “You mean Sean Jensen?”
Craig – “He calls himself Cyanide now, something to do with resurrection and zombies…ya might need to talk to Calypso Desmona if ya want more info…”
Travis – “Whatever. Jensen can’t even commit suicide successfully…”
Craig – “Mores the pity…”
Travis – “Indeed, kid probably doesn’t even know what a Penguin looks like, Jensen probably thinks it’s a breed of Zebra. Travis Roberts is Global heavyweight Champion, and refuses to lower his conversations to the level of Sean Jensen…”
Craig – “Honestly, I don’t see who it could be. I mean they’d have to be damn smart, have balls the size of melons to cross you and/or be incredibly stupid, and be able to keep a chain smoking, loud mouthed, gangbanging, penguin off your radar…I can’t think of anyone in this company that fits that description…”
eD – “I can…”
[Travis and Craig both turn towards eD for the first time in quite some time. They both look at him expectantly]
eD – “Declan Prescott”
[Both Travis and Craig raise their eyebrows, and Travis begins to look agitated]
eD – “Come on guys! It’s obvious! He’s the only guy who could pull this kinda thing off, and it’s clear to anyone with eyes that he’s gonna cheat you at some point. He’s probably got a favour from that damn penguin now; you gotta start watchin’ your back Travis! For TWiSTeD’s sake, the guy has made your first title defence a triple threat match! And one of them will pick what kind of match it will be, whilst you have to officiate their damn match to decide who decides your fate! You can’t tell me you went along with that? That you had some part in that plan…”
Travis – “Does it never end? Before you open your mouth again, you ignorant little man, actually watch the show! The Revolution decided that no one man was good enough to face ‘The Blessed One’, the only way to give the sponsors the kind of suspense they need, was to have ‘The Blessed One’ face two opponents?
Does ‘The Headliner’ look worried about this course of events? Does Travis Roberts look as though he fears whatever match is chosen? Throw another of those goddamn battleground losers in the match for all ‘The Headliner’ cares. ‘The Highest Standar’ does not parade around with the Global heavyweight Championship undeservingly like our past Champion, ‘The Blessed One’ is the very pinnacle of this company, and if the Global Heavyweight Champion cannot beat some upstart and a delusional Global Impact Wrestling is in some serious trouble.
‘The Blessed One’ has noticed the young dragon is developing something of a bite. Travis Roberts has it on good authority that this outwardly amiable gentleman actually spends hours of his day ranting to himself and talking down his opponents. ‘The Blessed One’ even took a look in this kids mandatory psyche evaluation from GIW’s resident shrink, and apparently dear old Alex has conversations with little dragons that appear on his shoulder. Does this guy seem like a viable threat to ‘The Most Influential Icon in Sports Entertainment this Millenia’?
It’s just a thought, but if ‘The Dragon’ really wants to make the most of his big shot at glory in London at Distant Whispers, and not be completely humiliated by ‘The TWiSteD Guerrilla, he might wanna spend more talking his opponents down on camera, rather than in front of the mirror like some teenage wannabe.
As for Brandon Brown, Travis Roberts has begun to wonder why anyone took this guy seriously before? ‘The Headliner’ has had his fair share of mind expanding drugs, but none of them could make sense of some of the nonsense our only multiple holder of this belt says and does. Only last week he compared The Revolution to a cancer. Correct ‘The Blessed One’ if he’s wrong, but hasn’t GIW steadily grown since The Revolution started to put their plans into action? It can definitely be argued that The Revolution are a cancer to Brandon Browns career, because as long as ‘The Blessed One’ and ‘The Significant Player’ continue to set the bar so high for the members of GIW, the longer Brandon Brown will go without tasting Global Heavyweight gold.
At Distant Whispers Travis Roberts vows to attempt to knock some sense into the so called ‘Most Resillient Man’ in Global Impact Wrestling, the fact ‘The Headliner’ has beaten Brown before bears no relevance to what will go down in the O2 Arena in London. For on October 18th Travis Roberts will beat Brandon Brown like a true champion, and possibly enlighten his path, and lead him away from Dude Where’s My Car-esque travesties…
But you guys are right, there is no way anyone in that Arena is harbouring that damn Penguin. Even The Crimson Ghost would struggle to satisfy that demanding little bastard, and if those two got into any kind of altercation it’d tear a hole in the space time continuum, and as that hasn’t happened ‘The Blessed One’ is entirely sure that the Ghost ain’t involved.
Might as well pack up and head back to the crib, we should probably tap up Yoda, and get some Pizza in. We’ll find that damn penguin, ‘the Headliner’ is as sure of that as he is of defending the Global Heavyweight Title successfully at Distant Whispers”
eD – “I just hope he doesn’t find us first…”
[With that Travis and Craig exchange goodbyes. Futile climbs back into his limo and pulls off, as Travis clips eD around the head once more, and tells him to drive him home. As both men climb into the car, the camera pans around to the back where we see the trunk of the car is open slightly, and what looks like a beady eye is glaring outwards. As the engine starts, the trunk closes shut, and our scene ends]
