Post by T-Robosaurus Rex on Jul 22, 2009 18:44:23 GMT -5
[We are greeted by the site of Travis Roberts’ erstwhile agent, eD cASe, making his way along the halls of the GIW arena. His bandy, yellow legs move with comedic purpose through these halls, as he passes the occasional worker skulking about attempting to look busy. He finally reaches the door to Declan Prescott’s office, raises his hand to knock, but hears sounds coming from withing. Loud bangs and screeches fill the air, so rather than knocking our little yellow hero merely opens the door and strides (or at least attempts to) into the office.
When in the office the reason for the sounds become apparent, there are at least five different workmen in the office, one has his head poking through the ceiling fiddling with some electronics, another two seem to be cladding the walls with some kind of insulation, a young male is fiddling about with some kind of enormous air conditioning unit on the floor, another is knocking through a wall, whilst the remaining labourers seem to be sawing pieces of wood in half for no apparent reason.
In the midst of this chaos, sitting calmly behind Declan Prescott’s desk, chomping down on a lit cigar, is the GIW Enforcer Boss Penguin. For a creature with no hands, he uses his flippers remarkably well to navigate the contents of ‘The Significant Players’ computer, whilst always having his Tommy Gun close enough for protection.
eD sidles up to the desk and clears his throat loudly to try and make himself known above the noises ricocheting off of every angle. Boss Penguin looks up from the desk and see’s eD standing before him, if beaks could smile patronisingly there is no doubt this is what Boss P would be doing]
Boss P – ‘YO MY NIGGA! WHAT BRINGS YOU TO MY OFFICE?’
eD – ‘Umm...It’s not technically your office...it’s Decla...’
Boss P – ‘SHIT NIGGA! THAT MUTHAFUCKA AIN’T NEVER[/i] GETTING’ UP IN THIS CRIB EVER AGAIN!’
eD – ‘That’s not strictly true, you were given a temporary contract as Enforc...’
Boss P – ‘TEMPORARY MY BLACK AND WHITE ASS! BOSS P AIN’T GOIN’ NOWHERE SOON, I LIKE THIS WRESTLING GAME, I COULD BE EVRY SUCCESSFUL UP IN THIS MOTHAFUCKA!’[/color]
eD – ‘Well...I’m sure you could, I actually came to speak to you abo...’
Boss P – ‘SO NIGGA, WHAT D’YA THINK?’
eD – ‘Ummm...about what?’
Boss P – ‘NIGGA SAY WHAT!?!? I’M PIMPIN THIS JOINT UP GANGSTA STYLE, EVEN YOU CAN NOTICE THAT SHIT!’
eD – ‘Well yes, but I actually came to talk to you about some pressing matt...’
Boss P – ‘YA SEE KENWYNE OVER THERE?’
[Boss P points towards the guy in the ceiling]
Boss P – ‘HE’S MAKING SPACE FOR BOSS P’S INDUSTRIAL STRENGTH AIR CONDITIONING UNIT, RODNEY BEYHIND ME IS KNOCKING THROUGH TO THE ROOM BEHIND FO MY MUTHAFUCKIN’ ARMORY...’
eD – ‘Isn’t that The Revolutions dressing room?’
Boss P – ‘AND YO POINT NIGGA? THOSE GUYS HAD IT EASY FOR LONG ENOUGH, AIN’T NO WAY THOSE HONKEYS ARE LIVIN’ IT UP ON MY WATCH, YA HEAR?’
eD – ‘I hear’, that’s what I wanted to talk to you abo..’
Boss P – ‘I’M GETTING’ ME A 50 INCH PLASMA UP IN THIS SHIT, ALONG WITH A PHAT ASS STEREO, TRUST ME NIGGA, WHEN I’M DONE WITH THIS PLACE, THIS CRIB IS GONNA BE DA BOMB!’
eD – ‘I have no doubt in my mind it will be, but could we please talk for a few moments...in private...’
[Boss P locks eD directly in the eyes, and see’s that the yellow muppet is deadly serious and he ushers the workers from the room.]
Boss P – ‘OK NIGGA, WHATS SO IMPORTANT YA GOTTA STOP ME FROM GETTING THIS SHIT REDESIGNED. THAT PRESCOTT HAS THE TASTE OF A 50 YEAR OLD LIBRARIAN BITCH’
eD – ‘Well I have a few concerns about everything you’re doing...’
Boss P – ‘WHAT NIGGA? YOU DON’T LIKE THE IDEA OF THE PLASMA?’
eD – ‘No not that, everything your doing in GIW,w ith the cards, with the Enforcer role...’
Boss P – ‘DON’T YOU MEAN ALL THE SHIT WE’RE[/i] DOING? IT WAS YOU THAT FLOATED THE IDEA OF AN ENFORCER TO THE GIW SPONSORS, AND IT WAS YOU THAT GOT BOSS P THE MEETINGS AFTER DISTANT WHISPERS!’
eD – ‘I’m well aware of all that, but this was always about Declan Prescott, he’s been ruining people’s lives for too long, and I could see him doing it to Travis...something had to be done, I knew I wouldn’t intimidate him enough, besides if Travis found out he’d disown me...’
Boss P – ‘NIGGA, YOU DID THE RIGHT THING COMING TO ME, THAT MOFO AIN’T GONNA CROSS BOSS P, YOU CAN GUARANTEE THAT SHIT...’
eD – ‘But it’s not going how I envisioned, your punishing Travis too, and he doesn’t deserve to be punished, he’s already lost the title, and is going through a divorce.’
Boss P – ‘QUIT YOUR JIBBER JABBER BIATCH! PRESCOTT AND ROVBERTS COME AS A PACKAGE, YOU KNOW THAT, IF YOUR GONNA DEAL WITH ONE, YA GOTTA DEAL WITH THE OTHER MUTHAFUCKA!’
eD – ‘But this wasn’t the plan! The plan was for Declan to retrust Travis, and for Travis to regain his confidence leading up to Horizons. You were meant to be the adversity that brought them together, made Declan see the error of his ways and helped Travis back to the global heavyweight Championship.’
Boss P – ‘I NEVER SIGNED UP FO’ ANY OF THAT SHIT NIGGA! THEMS THE THINGS YO’ WANTED OUT OF THIS, BOSS P JUS’ WANTED THE POWER, AND THE CHANCE TO SCREW WITH DECLAN PRESCOTT, IF YO BOY WANTS TO HANG WID HIM, THAT’S HIS PROBLEM NIGGA!’
eD – ‘But you’re openly punishing Travis, last week you made him face three others with Skinny as his only partner, and this week your forcing him to team up with that no good, piece of trailer park scum Randy Boolzian...’
Boss P – ‘WHAT WOULD IT HAVE LOOKED LIKE IF DAYS AFTER BURSTING ONTO THE SCENE, BOSS P TOOK IT EASY ON ONE HALF OF THE REVOLUTION? NIGGA, MY CREDIBILITY WOULD BE DESTROYED IF I GAVE YOUR HOMIE AN EASY LIFE!’
eD – ‘But you’re making it more difficult for him than Declan! Declan had to face two girls, and now that overweight, black Komosube rip off...it hardly compares to the trials your putting ‘The Blessed One’ through!’
Boss P – ‘LOOK, YO BOY DID GOOD LAST WEEK, HE’LL PROBABLY DO SO AGAIN. SHIT, I KNOW YOU’RE WORRRIED TRAVIS IS GONNA FIND OUT ABOUT YOUR PART IN ALL THIS NIGGA, BUT DON’T WORRY ABOUT IT, YO DID THE RIGHT THING, WHEN THE TIMES RIGHT YO WILL BE ABLE TO EXPLAIN TO YO HOMMIE, AND IF HE’S AS SMART AS YO SAY HE IS, HE’LL GET ON BOARD WID US, AND HELP ME TAKE GIW TO THE NEXT MOTHAFUCKIN’ LEVEL!’
eD – ‘Next level, seriously I’m not comfortable with this anymore, this was all meant to be a temporary measure...’
Boss P – ‘NIGGA, I’VE BEEN PATIENT WITH YO YELLOW ASS UP UNTIL NOW, BUT YOU ARE STARTING TO GRATE. YO BETTER BE LISTENING CLEARLY, CAUSE I DON’T REPEAT MYSELF...THIS SHIT AIN’T TEMPORARY! HAVE YO HEARD THE FANS, THE SPONSORS, THEY ALL LOVE BOSS P, AND LIKE I SAID EARLIER, I LIKE THIS GAME, NIGGA I AIN’T GOIN’ ANYWHERE ANYTIME SOON...
YOU’RE UNCOMFORTABLE WITH EVERYTHING? DAMN NIGGA, THAT IS A SHAME, CAUSE YO AIN’T GOT NO CHOICE IN THE MATTER! ARE YOU FORGETTING THE SHIT THAT WENT DOWN ON ‘THE STREET’? YO INTO BOSS P FOR SOME SERIOUS SHIT MOTHAFUCKA, THIS IS YO WAY OF WIPIN’ OUT WHAT YOU OWE. DON’T YO FURRY ASS FORGET THAT BOSS P OWNS IT NIGGA? NOW GET THE FUCK OUTTA MY OFFICE, I GOT WORK TO BE DOIN’!’
[eD stands still and stares at Boss P, but as the GIW Enforcer’s flipper edges towards his trusty tommy gun, he thinks better of arguing the case any further and scurries out of the door into the corridor. He then looks down at his phone, which had been turned to silent, and see’s twelve missed calls, all from Travis Roberts.]
eD – ‘Oh shit...what the hell have I done?’
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[eD looks upwards with a look of regret plastered across his face, as the scene ends]
[The scene reopens and we are in the Travis Roberts’ grand hall. It is eerily quiet, and not a soul can be seen or heard. It is also unusually tidy, the only area that shows any sign of ‘The Blessed Ones’ presence is his favourite sofa, which is strewn with cut up Rolling Paper packages, discarded bags of chip, and of course an ashtray filled to the brim with roach ends.
The rare silence and calm is broken abruptly as the main doors to the room swing open, and ‘The Blessed One’ comes striding through, shouting at the top of his voice...]
Travis – ‘eD!!! eeeeeeDDDDD!!!!’
[‘The Headliner’ looks around the room and starts heading towards his sofa, peering around columns to see if his agent is cowering behind them. When he realises eD is nowhere to be found he slumps, frustrated onto the sofa, removes a roll up from his top pocket, lights it, and then begins to ponder aloud to himself...]
Travis – ‘Where the hell is that delusional oompa lumpa anyway? Doesn’t he know his job is to be where ‘The Headliner’ needs him, when he needs him? Travis Roberts shouldn’t have to keep ringing his damn phone and going through to the damn voicemail, what the hell can be more important to eD than ‘The TWISTeD Icon’? In fact, that poor excuse for an agent, should anticipate when ‘The Blessed One’ is gonna need him, when he gets back ‘The Headliner’ is gonna emphasize his priorities in a unique and....vigorous manner....
‘The Blessed One’ has things to be doing, people to be meeting, especially whilst Declan is off setting his trap for Maguire. How the hell is Travis Roberts meant to get hold of these people without eD? ‘The Headliner’ does not make his appointments, he pays other people to do those tasks, maybe eD’s pay is gonna have to be reviewed. Right now, ‘The Revolution’ is on full alert, we face the biggest threat since we took GIW to the next level, and eD is probably in some dingy strip club begging some unlucky girl to play ‘hide the pickle’ with his freaky ass.
It’s not ‘The Headliners’ problem, when the fans start screaming for answers as to why ‘The Blessed One’ hasn’t delivered them an on camera piece for yet another week, that furry Pinocchio can explain to them he was too busy making pickles disappear to book any damn interviews. Does ‘The Headliner’ really have such a bad judge of character? If not how the hell can Travis Roberts explain his unfaltering loyalty to that walking liability?
And to top it all off ‘The Headliner’ has got to get in the ring on Saturday with that kitchen desecrating junkie. ‘The Blessed One’ was hoping to get an opportunity to reveal to the world just what a cowardly, deceitful, downright disrespectful individual Randy Boolzian is. Travis Roberts was ready to tell Jason Reeves all the foul, disgusting details of BoolZ’s shocking disregard for personal property. ‘The Headliner’ was going to reveal to the world how Randy Boolzian broke into the noble abode of ‘The TWiSTeD Icon’, and like some kind of back door bandit, made off with ‘The TWiSTeD Guerillas’ most treasured asset. But alas, due to the incompetence of one individual, said interview has not been arranged, and the fans will for another week remain clueless to the true nature of The Red Bull icons dark heart.
And all those damn idiots probably think Travis Roberts is pissed off at BoolZ because he’s sleeping with his wife. That’s what is so damaging about eD not doing his damn job, by not arranging for ‘The Blessed One’ to enlighten the world with the truth, undoubtedly the rumours are spreading and growing by the minute. When in the end, it’s quite obviously Karmic Retribution for ‘The Headliners’ sink, Mary-Joanna can, and will, punish him for that gross misdeed. It seems the universe has a perverse way of dealing out Justice, for as much as that sink meant to ‘The Blessed One’, he would take the heartache of losing it a hundred more times, rather than spend another minute alone in the company of that succubus. With every second that passes, and with every disease addled thrust from Randy Boolzians pelvis, ‘The Red Bull Icon’ draws himself closer to his own, inevitable, oblivion at the hands of one of nature’s most foul creations. Despite the contempt ‘The Headliner’ feels towards Randy Boolzian, his choice in companion draws sympathy from ‘The Blessed One’ for he too made that mistake once before. The idea that the world possibly believes Travis Roberts to be angered by their relationship is a misconception ‘The Headliner’ must dispel as a top priority...alongside avenging his sink.
But as it stands, that boneless, spineless agent is still nowhere to be seen, thus ‘The Headliner’ has very few options available to him. Travis Roberts finds in times like these a focussed session of thoughtful meditation is the best way forward...’
[With that Travis finishes rambling to himself and continues to draw on his roll up. He then reaches to his side and pulls out a remote control from underneath an empty packet of potato chips and flicks on the TV, only to be greeted by Mary-Joanna’s face filling all 104 inches of his Plasma TV Screen]
Voice Over – ‘Welcome to the E! True Hollywood Story of Mary-Joanna Roberts. Over the next hour we are going to disclose to you the juiciest gossips, rumours and secrets about the woman who disappeared of the radar for almost 4 years, The TWiSTeD Priestess.
Little over 4 years ago Mary-Joanna Roberts was tipped to be the next big thing in Hollywood, her face was on every magazine, every talk show host wanted her on their show, but her husband, professional wrestler Travis Roberts, was plunged into a coma, and Mary-Joanna disappeared from the eyes of the paparazzi.
Tonight we will reveal the torment Mary-Joanna went through watching her husband lie unresponsive for four years, the pain she experienced when her soul mate awoke and rejected her, casting her from his life. We will talk to some of her closest friends and family members, who will shed light on the amazing strength it took for this damaged, fragile young woman to bounce back, and declare, ‘I will be a success in my own right!’
We will examine closely recent events which have seen Mary-Joanna return to our screens, with brief appearances on Global Impact Wrestling’s weekly live show, Sentinel. We will also delve into the new love in Mary-Joanna’s life, a young man who has been touted as having the potential to hugely exceed her ex-husbands legacy, and is also his opponent in a matter of weeks time, Randy Boolzian.
So over the next hour we will be revealing all about her initial rise to the top, followed by the tragedy that threw her life into disharmony, to the present, where she stands as the love interest of one of the world’s most desired young men, on the verge of a major comeback.
This is The E! True Hollywood Story of Mary-Joa...’
[At this point the image of Mary-Joanna frolicking in a bikini is cut off abruptly, along with the sound, as Travis’ 5 foot coffee table goes crashing, at high velocity, through the 104 inch screen of the TV]
When in the office the reason for the sounds become apparent, there are at least five different workmen in the office, one has his head poking through the ceiling fiddling with some electronics, another two seem to be cladding the walls with some kind of insulation, a young male is fiddling about with some kind of enormous air conditioning unit on the floor, another is knocking through a wall, whilst the remaining labourers seem to be sawing pieces of wood in half for no apparent reason.
In the midst of this chaos, sitting calmly behind Declan Prescott’s desk, chomping down on a lit cigar, is the GIW Enforcer Boss Penguin. For a creature with no hands, he uses his flippers remarkably well to navigate the contents of ‘The Significant Players’ computer, whilst always having his Tommy Gun close enough for protection.
eD sidles up to the desk and clears his throat loudly to try and make himself known above the noises ricocheting off of every angle. Boss Penguin looks up from the desk and see’s eD standing before him, if beaks could smile patronisingly there is no doubt this is what Boss P would be doing]
Boss P – ‘YO MY NIGGA! WHAT BRINGS YOU TO MY OFFICE?’
eD – ‘Umm...It’s not technically your office...it’s Decla...’
Boss P – ‘SHIT NIGGA! THAT MUTHAFUCKA AIN’T NEVER[/i] GETTING’ UP IN THIS CRIB EVER AGAIN!’
eD – ‘That’s not strictly true, you were given a temporary contract as Enforc...’
Boss P – ‘TEMPORARY MY BLACK AND WHITE ASS! BOSS P AIN’T GOIN’ NOWHERE SOON, I LIKE THIS WRESTLING GAME, I COULD BE EVRY SUCCESSFUL UP IN THIS MOTHAFUCKA!’[/color]
eD – ‘Well...I’m sure you could, I actually came to speak to you abo...’
Boss P – ‘SO NIGGA, WHAT D’YA THINK?’
eD – ‘Ummm...about what?’
Boss P – ‘NIGGA SAY WHAT!?!? I’M PIMPIN THIS JOINT UP GANGSTA STYLE, EVEN YOU CAN NOTICE THAT SHIT!’
eD – ‘Well yes, but I actually came to talk to you about some pressing matt...’
Boss P – ‘YA SEE KENWYNE OVER THERE?’
[Boss P points towards the guy in the ceiling]
Boss P – ‘HE’S MAKING SPACE FOR BOSS P’S INDUSTRIAL STRENGTH AIR CONDITIONING UNIT, RODNEY BEYHIND ME IS KNOCKING THROUGH TO THE ROOM BEHIND FO MY MUTHAFUCKIN’ ARMORY...’
eD – ‘Isn’t that The Revolutions dressing room?’
Boss P – ‘AND YO POINT NIGGA? THOSE GUYS HAD IT EASY FOR LONG ENOUGH, AIN’T NO WAY THOSE HONKEYS ARE LIVIN’ IT UP ON MY WATCH, YA HEAR?’
eD – ‘I hear’, that’s what I wanted to talk to you abo..’
Boss P – ‘I’M GETTING’ ME A 50 INCH PLASMA UP IN THIS SHIT, ALONG WITH A PHAT ASS STEREO, TRUST ME NIGGA, WHEN I’M DONE WITH THIS PLACE, THIS CRIB IS GONNA BE DA BOMB!’
eD – ‘I have no doubt in my mind it will be, but could we please talk for a few moments...in private...’
[Boss P locks eD directly in the eyes, and see’s that the yellow muppet is deadly serious and he ushers the workers from the room.]
Boss P – ‘OK NIGGA, WHATS SO IMPORTANT YA GOTTA STOP ME FROM GETTING THIS SHIT REDESIGNED. THAT PRESCOTT HAS THE TASTE OF A 50 YEAR OLD LIBRARIAN BITCH’
eD – ‘Well I have a few concerns about everything you’re doing...’
Boss P – ‘WHAT NIGGA? YOU DON’T LIKE THE IDEA OF THE PLASMA?’
eD – ‘No not that, everything your doing in GIW,w ith the cards, with the Enforcer role...’
Boss P – ‘DON’T YOU MEAN ALL THE SHIT WE’RE[/i] DOING? IT WAS YOU THAT FLOATED THE IDEA OF AN ENFORCER TO THE GIW SPONSORS, AND IT WAS YOU THAT GOT BOSS P THE MEETINGS AFTER DISTANT WHISPERS!’
eD – ‘I’m well aware of all that, but this was always about Declan Prescott, he’s been ruining people’s lives for too long, and I could see him doing it to Travis...something had to be done, I knew I wouldn’t intimidate him enough, besides if Travis found out he’d disown me...’
Boss P – ‘NIGGA, YOU DID THE RIGHT THING COMING TO ME, THAT MOFO AIN’T GONNA CROSS BOSS P, YOU CAN GUARANTEE THAT SHIT...’
eD – ‘But it’s not going how I envisioned, your punishing Travis too, and he doesn’t deserve to be punished, he’s already lost the title, and is going through a divorce.’
Boss P – ‘QUIT YOUR JIBBER JABBER BIATCH! PRESCOTT AND ROVBERTS COME AS A PACKAGE, YOU KNOW THAT, IF YOUR GONNA DEAL WITH ONE, YA GOTTA DEAL WITH THE OTHER MUTHAFUCKA!’
eD – ‘But this wasn’t the plan! The plan was for Declan to retrust Travis, and for Travis to regain his confidence leading up to Horizons. You were meant to be the adversity that brought them together, made Declan see the error of his ways and helped Travis back to the global heavyweight Championship.’
Boss P – ‘I NEVER SIGNED UP FO’ ANY OF THAT SHIT NIGGA! THEMS THE THINGS YO’ WANTED OUT OF THIS, BOSS P JUS’ WANTED THE POWER, AND THE CHANCE TO SCREW WITH DECLAN PRESCOTT, IF YO BOY WANTS TO HANG WID HIM, THAT’S HIS PROBLEM NIGGA!’
eD – ‘But you’re openly punishing Travis, last week you made him face three others with Skinny as his only partner, and this week your forcing him to team up with that no good, piece of trailer park scum Randy Boolzian...’
Boss P – ‘WHAT WOULD IT HAVE LOOKED LIKE IF DAYS AFTER BURSTING ONTO THE SCENE, BOSS P TOOK IT EASY ON ONE HALF OF THE REVOLUTION? NIGGA, MY CREDIBILITY WOULD BE DESTROYED IF I GAVE YOUR HOMIE AN EASY LIFE!’
eD – ‘But you’re making it more difficult for him than Declan! Declan had to face two girls, and now that overweight, black Komosube rip off...it hardly compares to the trials your putting ‘The Blessed One’ through!’
Boss P – ‘LOOK, YO BOY DID GOOD LAST WEEK, HE’LL PROBABLY DO SO AGAIN. SHIT, I KNOW YOU’RE WORRRIED TRAVIS IS GONNA FIND OUT ABOUT YOUR PART IN ALL THIS NIGGA, BUT DON’T WORRY ABOUT IT, YO DID THE RIGHT THING, WHEN THE TIMES RIGHT YO WILL BE ABLE TO EXPLAIN TO YO HOMMIE, AND IF HE’S AS SMART AS YO SAY HE IS, HE’LL GET ON BOARD WID US, AND HELP ME TAKE GIW TO THE NEXT MOTHAFUCKIN’ LEVEL!’
eD – ‘Next level, seriously I’m not comfortable with this anymore, this was all meant to be a temporary measure...’
Boss P – ‘NIGGA, I’VE BEEN PATIENT WITH YO YELLOW ASS UP UNTIL NOW, BUT YOU ARE STARTING TO GRATE. YO BETTER BE LISTENING CLEARLY, CAUSE I DON’T REPEAT MYSELF...THIS SHIT AIN’T TEMPORARY! HAVE YO HEARD THE FANS, THE SPONSORS, THEY ALL LOVE BOSS P, AND LIKE I SAID EARLIER, I LIKE THIS GAME, NIGGA I AIN’T GOIN’ ANYWHERE ANYTIME SOON...
YOU’RE UNCOMFORTABLE WITH EVERYTHING? DAMN NIGGA, THAT IS A SHAME, CAUSE YO AIN’T GOT NO CHOICE IN THE MATTER! ARE YOU FORGETTING THE SHIT THAT WENT DOWN ON ‘THE STREET’? YO INTO BOSS P FOR SOME SERIOUS SHIT MOTHAFUCKA, THIS IS YO WAY OF WIPIN’ OUT WHAT YOU OWE. DON’T YO FURRY ASS FORGET THAT BOSS P OWNS IT NIGGA? NOW GET THE FUCK OUTTA MY OFFICE, I GOT WORK TO BE DOIN’!’
[eD stands still and stares at Boss P, but as the GIW Enforcer’s flipper edges towards his trusty tommy gun, he thinks better of arguing the case any further and scurries out of the door into the corridor. He then looks down at his phone, which had been turned to silent, and see’s twelve missed calls, all from Travis Roberts.]
eD – ‘Oh shit...what the hell have I done?’
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[eD looks upwards with a look of regret plastered across his face, as the scene ends]
[The scene reopens and we are in the Travis Roberts’ grand hall. It is eerily quiet, and not a soul can be seen or heard. It is also unusually tidy, the only area that shows any sign of ‘The Blessed Ones’ presence is his favourite sofa, which is strewn with cut up Rolling Paper packages, discarded bags of chip, and of course an ashtray filled to the brim with roach ends.
The rare silence and calm is broken abruptly as the main doors to the room swing open, and ‘The Blessed One’ comes striding through, shouting at the top of his voice...]
Travis – ‘eD!!! eeeeeeDDDDD!!!!’
[‘The Headliner’ looks around the room and starts heading towards his sofa, peering around columns to see if his agent is cowering behind them. When he realises eD is nowhere to be found he slumps, frustrated onto the sofa, removes a roll up from his top pocket, lights it, and then begins to ponder aloud to himself...]
Travis – ‘Where the hell is that delusional oompa lumpa anyway? Doesn’t he know his job is to be where ‘The Headliner’ needs him, when he needs him? Travis Roberts shouldn’t have to keep ringing his damn phone and going through to the damn voicemail, what the hell can be more important to eD than ‘The TWISTeD Icon’? In fact, that poor excuse for an agent, should anticipate when ‘The Blessed One’ is gonna need him, when he gets back ‘The Headliner’ is gonna emphasize his priorities in a unique and....vigorous manner....
‘The Blessed One’ has things to be doing, people to be meeting, especially whilst Declan is off setting his trap for Maguire. How the hell is Travis Roberts meant to get hold of these people without eD? ‘The Headliner’ does not make his appointments, he pays other people to do those tasks, maybe eD’s pay is gonna have to be reviewed. Right now, ‘The Revolution’ is on full alert, we face the biggest threat since we took GIW to the next level, and eD is probably in some dingy strip club begging some unlucky girl to play ‘hide the pickle’ with his freaky ass.
It’s not ‘The Headliners’ problem, when the fans start screaming for answers as to why ‘The Blessed One’ hasn’t delivered them an on camera piece for yet another week, that furry Pinocchio can explain to them he was too busy making pickles disappear to book any damn interviews. Does ‘The Headliner’ really have such a bad judge of character? If not how the hell can Travis Roberts explain his unfaltering loyalty to that walking liability?
And to top it all off ‘The Headliner’ has got to get in the ring on Saturday with that kitchen desecrating junkie. ‘The Blessed One’ was hoping to get an opportunity to reveal to the world just what a cowardly, deceitful, downright disrespectful individual Randy Boolzian is. Travis Roberts was ready to tell Jason Reeves all the foul, disgusting details of BoolZ’s shocking disregard for personal property. ‘The Headliner’ was going to reveal to the world how Randy Boolzian broke into the noble abode of ‘The TWiSTeD Icon’, and like some kind of back door bandit, made off with ‘The TWiSTeD Guerillas’ most treasured asset. But alas, due to the incompetence of one individual, said interview has not been arranged, and the fans will for another week remain clueless to the true nature of The Red Bull icons dark heart.
And all those damn idiots probably think Travis Roberts is pissed off at BoolZ because he’s sleeping with his wife. That’s what is so damaging about eD not doing his damn job, by not arranging for ‘The Blessed One’ to enlighten the world with the truth, undoubtedly the rumours are spreading and growing by the minute. When in the end, it’s quite obviously Karmic Retribution for ‘The Headliners’ sink, Mary-Joanna can, and will, punish him for that gross misdeed. It seems the universe has a perverse way of dealing out Justice, for as much as that sink meant to ‘The Blessed One’, he would take the heartache of losing it a hundred more times, rather than spend another minute alone in the company of that succubus. With every second that passes, and with every disease addled thrust from Randy Boolzians pelvis, ‘The Red Bull Icon’ draws himself closer to his own, inevitable, oblivion at the hands of one of nature’s most foul creations. Despite the contempt ‘The Headliner’ feels towards Randy Boolzian, his choice in companion draws sympathy from ‘The Blessed One’ for he too made that mistake once before. The idea that the world possibly believes Travis Roberts to be angered by their relationship is a misconception ‘The Headliner’ must dispel as a top priority...alongside avenging his sink.
But as it stands, that boneless, spineless agent is still nowhere to be seen, thus ‘The Headliner’ has very few options available to him. Travis Roberts finds in times like these a focussed session of thoughtful meditation is the best way forward...’
[With that Travis finishes rambling to himself and continues to draw on his roll up. He then reaches to his side and pulls out a remote control from underneath an empty packet of potato chips and flicks on the TV, only to be greeted by Mary-Joanna’s face filling all 104 inches of his Plasma TV Screen]
Voice Over – ‘Welcome to the E! True Hollywood Story of Mary-Joanna Roberts. Over the next hour we are going to disclose to you the juiciest gossips, rumours and secrets about the woman who disappeared of the radar for almost 4 years, The TWiSTeD Priestess.
Little over 4 years ago Mary-Joanna Roberts was tipped to be the next big thing in Hollywood, her face was on every magazine, every talk show host wanted her on their show, but her husband, professional wrestler Travis Roberts, was plunged into a coma, and Mary-Joanna disappeared from the eyes of the paparazzi.
Tonight we will reveal the torment Mary-Joanna went through watching her husband lie unresponsive for four years, the pain she experienced when her soul mate awoke and rejected her, casting her from his life. We will talk to some of her closest friends and family members, who will shed light on the amazing strength it took for this damaged, fragile young woman to bounce back, and declare, ‘I will be a success in my own right!’
We will examine closely recent events which have seen Mary-Joanna return to our screens, with brief appearances on Global Impact Wrestling’s weekly live show, Sentinel. We will also delve into the new love in Mary-Joanna’s life, a young man who has been touted as having the potential to hugely exceed her ex-husbands legacy, and is also his opponent in a matter of weeks time, Randy Boolzian.
So over the next hour we will be revealing all about her initial rise to the top, followed by the tragedy that threw her life into disharmony, to the present, where she stands as the love interest of one of the world’s most desired young men, on the verge of a major comeback.
This is The E! True Hollywood Story of Mary-Joa...’
[At this point the image of Mary-Joanna frolicking in a bikini is cut off abruptly, along with the sound, as Travis’ 5 foot coffee table goes crashing, at high velocity, through the 104 inch screen of the TV]
