Post by Travis Pierce on Aug 14, 2010 13:28:21 GMT -5
We see a darkened set, with silhouettes visible of a table with a couch alongside it. A voiceover is heard from Rob Cartwright.
Cartwright: Ladies and gentlemen, the host of The Piercing Truth, you know his name, TRAVIS PIERCE!
“You Know My Name” by Chris Cornell begins to play, and the lights come on to show a chair sitting backwards behind the desk. A monitor behind the chair shows the logo for The Piercing Truth. The chair spins around to reveal Travis himself. Pierce looks directly at the camera.
Pierce: Welcome to The Piercing Truth! My name is Travis Pierce, as always your host for the evening.
Travis looks off-camera for a moment, and does a slow golf clap.
Cartwright: Thanks.
Pierce: No problem. Let’s get to our top stories!
Pierce switches to Camera B.
Pierce: Experts are challenging the stereotype that only children are spoiled, lonely, and selfish. Which means that Phrixus Deimos is going to have to come up with a different excuse.
Pierce switches to Camera A.
Pierce: The biggest news out of Synergy this week is the return of the infamous Outlast tournament that our long time viewers are familiar with from LWF. It is certainly an exciting announcement, yet it has been dampered by the sub-announcement that while Travis Pierce is a team captain, he will yet again face off with Alex Kiseragi. This seems wholly unnecessary after their match at In Your Hands, in which the demonic Kiseragi was vanquished. Sure, there are those that say it’s “1-1” now or some shit, but what have we seen lately? Kis got pwned. Not to steal another man’s catchphrase, but it makes another match between them, even with back-up, somewhat inevitable, no? In fact, this might become one of the dumbest competitions in history.
Pierce switches to Camera B.
Pierce: Even dumber than the World Sauna Championships, held annually in Heinola, Finland, a competition so dumb it makes you wonder what else could be out there. Napping? Barcalounging? Standing in Front of the Fridge? What do you say to a sportswriter afterwards? I just got hot? A field of eighty-four men and eighteen women compete in six-person heats and battle to see whose skin can boil last. Do people trash talk, I wonder? Take a seat and ask aloud when they’re gonna turn this bitch on? Stare at the next guy’s crotch and remark that you thought cold caused shrinkage? Stupid, stupid stuff. But not nearly as pointless as me whipping Kiseragi again.
Pierce switches to Camera A.
Pierce: We’ll be looking at more dumb competitions all month, as part of our continued discussion of how badly I’ll be beating down Alex Kiseragi and whatever scrubs he pulls together, but in the meantime, more news!
Pierce switches to Camera B.
Pierce: Many people think that “low-interest mortgages” are a “good debt” to have. This myth has been debunked by a recent report, and the next myth to be debunked is the one in which Declan Prescott is still relevant in modern competition. This once legendary former GIW Champion teased us with his Cooperative victory at In Your Hands, but then turned around and lost to Forewell Boding of all people! What’s more, I should point out that it was his partner, Savana, that got the pin over Travis Roberts, Savana the Travis Killer, if you recall. Prescott appeared last month on this very broadcast, showing what appeared to be a softer side of himself. Insiders are saying the truth is that he’s gone weak. And they made this guy a captain? The piercing truth is that he got that appointment on past reputation, not merit. We’ll see how well he can recruit after I put him down on Synergy.
Pierce switches to Camera A.
Pierce: Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome my guest for the evening...Enigma!
The 8-bit synthesizer plays "Given to Fly" as Enigma comes out and takes a seat on the couch.
Pierce: Welcome to the show!
Enigma: Thanks for having me, mate.
Pierce: Let's get right to the nitty gritty here...the question on everybody's mind...are you up to the challenge of being a captain for Outlast?
Enigma: Well, I think I am up to the challenge; honestly I feel as if everyone here has the ability to go out there and win the match. It’ll be a definite test of determination and testicular fortitude, but I am ready for it.
Pierce: Of course, you'll have to try to recruit a team at the same time that superstar Travis Pierce is recruiting. Can you realisitically expect to have anything left but scrubs?
Enigma: That’s the challenge isn’t it? There are a lot of people on the roster whom are associates with the other captains, yourself included in that group. But believe me, whoever I pick has my absolute trust and belief that they can get the job done.
Pierce: How do you respond to allegations in regards to your associate, Sheena, that you have to "get that bitch on a leash?"
Enigma: Look man, I don’t try to get in Sheena’s way, namely because she won’t listen to a word that anyone says. I mean, just last week she walked into the meeting room of the Consortium, insulted them all, and walked out without having to meet Louis for the first time. Then, she came out and attacked someone. There is no real way to control her, so why try?
Pierce: It has been said that you and Sheena needing to fight dirty and surprise attack just to eliminate a guy who probably doesn’t even is a fuckin’ brilliant idea. Your response?
Enigma: Dude, like I said earlier, I had no hand in her actions. She will attack anyone at random unless she respects that person somewhat, which is probably a list of Paul, JK, and possibly me.
Pierce: Let's touch on your upcoming match this week, as you will be challenging Jet Somers for the Chaos Championship, which you have failed on multiple occasions to win in the past. What makes this time different?
Enigma: Third time lucky I guess, haha. Honestly, I think the last couple of times was because I also had the CWA title to worry about, knowing that I could be called back at any time and be asked to defend. Now that burden has been lifted, I can take my free shot.
Pierce: It's been suggested that your continued contendership for the title proves it is nothing but a bottom-tier championship, which would seem to also imply that your past assocations in the CWA and your titles held there are also bottom-tier. Does all this make you lose respect for Jet Somers?
Enigma: First off, that was a world title. Talent Calibre in the UK just isn’t up to the standard that it is here in the UGWC. I have lost absolutely no respect for Jet for holding that title, after all, sometimes you have to start at the bottom rung of the ladder to reach the top.
Pierce: Well, best of luck to you, and thanks for your time.
Enigma: Thank you Travis, and I wish you luck too.
Pierce: That’ll wrap us up for this week, we’ll catch you on the flip side, and remember! It’s not my fault that the truth…hurts.
“You Know My Name” plays again and Pierce and Enigma continue to chat as we fade out.
Cartwright: Ladies and gentlemen, the host of The Piercing Truth, you know his name, TRAVIS PIERCE!
“You Know My Name” by Chris Cornell begins to play, and the lights come on to show a chair sitting backwards behind the desk. A monitor behind the chair shows the logo for The Piercing Truth. The chair spins around to reveal Travis himself. Pierce looks directly at the camera.
Pierce: Welcome to The Piercing Truth! My name is Travis Pierce, as always your host for the evening.
Travis looks off-camera for a moment, and does a slow golf clap.
Cartwright: Thanks.
Pierce: No problem. Let’s get to our top stories!
Pierce switches to Camera B.
Pierce: Experts are challenging the stereotype that only children are spoiled, lonely, and selfish. Which means that Phrixus Deimos is going to have to come up with a different excuse.
Pierce switches to Camera A.
Pierce: The biggest news out of Synergy this week is the return of the infamous Outlast tournament that our long time viewers are familiar with from LWF. It is certainly an exciting announcement, yet it has been dampered by the sub-announcement that while Travis Pierce is a team captain, he will yet again face off with Alex Kiseragi. This seems wholly unnecessary after their match at In Your Hands, in which the demonic Kiseragi was vanquished. Sure, there are those that say it’s “1-1” now or some shit, but what have we seen lately? Kis got pwned. Not to steal another man’s catchphrase, but it makes another match between them, even with back-up, somewhat inevitable, no? In fact, this might become one of the dumbest competitions in history.
Pierce switches to Camera B.
Pierce: Even dumber than the World Sauna Championships, held annually in Heinola, Finland, a competition so dumb it makes you wonder what else could be out there. Napping? Barcalounging? Standing in Front of the Fridge? What do you say to a sportswriter afterwards? I just got hot? A field of eighty-four men and eighteen women compete in six-person heats and battle to see whose skin can boil last. Do people trash talk, I wonder? Take a seat and ask aloud when they’re gonna turn this bitch on? Stare at the next guy’s crotch and remark that you thought cold caused shrinkage? Stupid, stupid stuff. But not nearly as pointless as me whipping Kiseragi again.
Pierce switches to Camera A.
Pierce: We’ll be looking at more dumb competitions all month, as part of our continued discussion of how badly I’ll be beating down Alex Kiseragi and whatever scrubs he pulls together, but in the meantime, more news!
Pierce switches to Camera B.
Pierce: Many people think that “low-interest mortgages” are a “good debt” to have. This myth has been debunked by a recent report, and the next myth to be debunked is the one in which Declan Prescott is still relevant in modern competition. This once legendary former GIW Champion teased us with his Cooperative victory at In Your Hands, but then turned around and lost to Forewell Boding of all people! What’s more, I should point out that it was his partner, Savana, that got the pin over Travis Roberts, Savana the Travis Killer, if you recall. Prescott appeared last month on this very broadcast, showing what appeared to be a softer side of himself. Insiders are saying the truth is that he’s gone weak. And they made this guy a captain? The piercing truth is that he got that appointment on past reputation, not merit. We’ll see how well he can recruit after I put him down on Synergy.
Pierce switches to Camera A.
Pierce: Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome my guest for the evening...Enigma!
The 8-bit synthesizer plays "Given to Fly" as Enigma comes out and takes a seat on the couch.
Pierce: Welcome to the show!
Enigma: Thanks for having me, mate.
Pierce: Let's get right to the nitty gritty here...the question on everybody's mind...are you up to the challenge of being a captain for Outlast?
Enigma: Well, I think I am up to the challenge; honestly I feel as if everyone here has the ability to go out there and win the match. It’ll be a definite test of determination and testicular fortitude, but I am ready for it.
Pierce: Of course, you'll have to try to recruit a team at the same time that superstar Travis Pierce is recruiting. Can you realisitically expect to have anything left but scrubs?
Enigma: That’s the challenge isn’t it? There are a lot of people on the roster whom are associates with the other captains, yourself included in that group. But believe me, whoever I pick has my absolute trust and belief that they can get the job done.
Pierce: How do you respond to allegations in regards to your associate, Sheena, that you have to "get that bitch on a leash?"
Enigma: Look man, I don’t try to get in Sheena’s way, namely because she won’t listen to a word that anyone says. I mean, just last week she walked into the meeting room of the Consortium, insulted them all, and walked out without having to meet Louis for the first time. Then, she came out and attacked someone. There is no real way to control her, so why try?
Pierce: It has been said that you and Sheena needing to fight dirty and surprise attack just to eliminate a guy who probably doesn’t even is a fuckin’ brilliant idea. Your response?
Enigma: Dude, like I said earlier, I had no hand in her actions. She will attack anyone at random unless she respects that person somewhat, which is probably a list of Paul, JK, and possibly me.
Pierce: Let's touch on your upcoming match this week, as you will be challenging Jet Somers for the Chaos Championship, which you have failed on multiple occasions to win in the past. What makes this time different?
Enigma: Third time lucky I guess, haha. Honestly, I think the last couple of times was because I also had the CWA title to worry about, knowing that I could be called back at any time and be asked to defend. Now that burden has been lifted, I can take my free shot.
Pierce: It's been suggested that your continued contendership for the title proves it is nothing but a bottom-tier championship, which would seem to also imply that your past assocations in the CWA and your titles held there are also bottom-tier. Does all this make you lose respect for Jet Somers?
Enigma: First off, that was a world title. Talent Calibre in the UK just isn’t up to the standard that it is here in the UGWC. I have lost absolutely no respect for Jet for holding that title, after all, sometimes you have to start at the bottom rung of the ladder to reach the top.
Pierce: Well, best of luck to you, and thanks for your time.
Enigma: Thank you Travis, and I wish you luck too.
Pierce: That’ll wrap us up for this week, we’ll catch you on the flip side, and remember! It’s not my fault that the truth…hurts.
“You Know My Name” plays again and Pierce and Enigma continue to chat as we fade out.
