Post by T-Robosaurus Rex on Jul 22, 2009 18:48:56 GMT -5
[The scene opens and for the first time in many weeks we are greeted by the sight of ‘The Blessed Ones’ Grand Hall. For a change this vast space is relatively calm and organised, there are no half-conscious females sprawled across random items of furniture, no discarded bottles of various alcoholic beverages, no sign what so ever of gratuitous socialising taking place, not even the usual haze of smoke. A brief scan of the room however reveals there is a small spiral of smoke rising into the air from a distant corner. But rather than coming from ‘The Headliners’ favourite sofa in front of his huge Plasma Screen TV, instead it comes from a leather recliner on the opposite side of the room.
Before we are able to make our way past the various columns that hold up the enormous ceiling to investigate this further, the huge double doors to the Grand Hall swing open, and Travis Roberts’ agent, eD cASe comes striding through and heads straight for plume of smoke. The view follows the back of this unique individual’s head, and given the skull is covered completely in a yellow, fur like material, you can’t help but being put in mind of a tennis ball. As we near the Leather Recliner, we hear the sound of Nicholas Vinegar’s voice...]
Vinegar – ‘...I don't know if he lead with his best foot forward there, Daniel.’
[eD and the arrive in front of the recliner and we are greeted by the familiar, and to some comforting, sight of GIW’s First Unified Global Champion, Travis Roberts, reclined, with one of his special pre rolled delicacies hanging from his mouth has he stares at the screen of a laptop. Before he looks up to acknowledge his agent, the world’s most famous stringless puppet since a little wooden boy who’s nose grew to epic proportions addresses ‘The Blessed One’]
eD – ‘So I see you’re back then. Cutting it a little fine aren’t we? Are we going to see another repeat of your last title reign? Underestimating each of your opponents, heading into matches completely unprepared, relying on your buddy Declan to get you through?’
[Travis looks over the top of his trademark Aviator Glasses at hies agent, his eyes narrow, but then a huge grin spreads across his face]
Travis – ‘It’s good to see you too, little man! ‘The Blessed One’ had a fantastic break, highlighted by the fact Travis Roberts is so relaxed your paranoid delusions have no effect on him. Prior to the break ‘The Headliner ‘ would surely have obliterated your self worth with just a few choice words. But the powers of Jamaican hospitality and weather for an entire month have left ‘The Highest Grade in GIW’ at ease with himself.’
[eD looks at Travis, then up in the air, then back at ‘The Blessed One’ doing his best to express frustration, which is difficult given the severe handicaps presented to him]
eD – ‘At ease? Travis, you, once again, are the number one target in GIW, everyone is going to be gunning for you, this is no time to be at ease! In the name of TWISTeD, you have both Alex Kiseragi AND Randy Boolzian first week back, you think you can get through that whilst you are at ease?’
Travis – ‘A matter of minutes, and Travis Roberts can already feel your yellow ass undoing everything that was achieved by the sandy beaches of Jamaica. ‘The Blessed One’ can’t pretend he didn’t expect you to kill his chill, but ‘The Headliner’ had hoped you’d let it remain for at least 24 hours...’
eD – ‘I’m just trying to help Travis, I don’t want to see you lose that title again, I’m not sure I can deal with that[/b] Travis again...’[/color]
Travis – ‘Help? What like you did on the run up to Horizons? Like when Cara was unconscious in a hospital bed? It has been made perfectly clear ‘The Blessed One’ doesn’t need your help to be a success, for TWiSTeD’s sake, the only real job you had last year was arranging a celebration for ‘The Blessed Ones’ victory post-Horizons...and we all know how that turned out...’
[eD shuffles from one foot to the other whilst looking down at the floor, clearly Travis’ words have hit a spot, and his agent does his best to look sorry]
eD – ‘Well that technically wasn’t my fault...’
Travis – ‘Yeah, yeah...*mimics eD*’Security should have been more prepared’, ‘You didn’t think he could even walk’...’The Headliner’ heard it all a month ago, and to be completely honest is just glad the whole sorry incident is in the past and that ‘The Blessed One’ will never have to think of that travesty ever again.
So did you just bounce round here to destroy my aura and remind me of your inadequacies? Or was their some other reason? Travis Roberts would say he was surprised you were not here to greet him this morning when he arrived, but given your increasingly retarded behaviour in recent months that would be a blatant lie.’
eD – ‘Erm....well...I’ve been busy, you’re not my only client you know!’
Travis – ‘When did this happen? ‘The Blessed One’ will not play second fiddle in your pitiful existence to anyone, who the hell is it?’
eD – ‘Ha ha? I was just being obtuse! Of course I haven’t got another client buddy! I’m not working for anyone else, certainly not anyone you might consider your enemy...anyway, what were you watching just then, doing some prep on your opponents?’
Travis – ‘Oh...’The Headliner’ was just surfing the net...’
[[eD’s face falls into a picture of relief as he realised he has managed to stear his employer away from a difficult line of questioning]
eD – ‘Googleing yourself again?’
Travis – ‘No, ‘The Most Influential Icon in Sports Entertainment this Millenia’ was just catching up with GIW.com, just watched that new guy, Moss Edwards’ skit...’
[eD’s face instantly changes once more from relief, straight back to panic...]
eD – ‘Oh...yeah....that...umm, what did you think?
[eD closes his eyes, readying himself for the inevitable onslaught he is aware is oncoming]
Travis – ‘It was ok.’
eD – ‘I’m sorry, I’ll make sure we get our lawyers onto hi...Say what? You liked it!’
Travis – ‘Liked would be a strong word, but Travis Roberts certainly wasn’t offended by it, why the hell you talking about lawyers?’
eD – ‘Well I wasn’t sure you’d like how...you were portrayed...’
Travis – ‘Give Travis Roberts a little more credit than that eD, ‘The Blessed One’ didn’t raise an eyebrow when that walking Trailer Park STI Outbreak stuck his diseased doodle in ‘The Headliners’ estranged whore of a wife, why would Moss Edwards have bothered him? The guy clearly wants to make films, and that’s fine in ‘The Blessed Ones’ book. Sure if Travis Roberts were going to make a foray into the film making world he’d definitely aim higher than the ‘Epic Movie’’/‘Disaster Movie’/’Scary Movie’ genre and style, but ‘The Auteur’ is free to pursue whatever path he wishes.’
eD – ‘You mean you really have no problems with it? I mean I thought you’d be somewhat offended by the guy that ‘played’ you, especially the way he spoke...’
Travis – ‘What the hell do you mean? ‘The Headliner’ saw nothing wrong with the way that guy spoke, in fact it was one of the better parts. You obviously have very little idea of the film industry eD. Moss’ little film was never meant to be a documentary; it was quite clearly a spoof. Sure the way the Travis Roberts character acted, and the things he said, were utterly ridiculous, but only a full blown, terminal, window licker would mistake GIW’s First Ever Unified Global Champion for what was presented in front of them. Hell the entire premise was that ‘The Headliner’ needed help being entertaining? It was clearly meant to be unbelievable. The idea that the man that made Aito Chen’s title run anything other than a comatose inducing throwback to our industries dark times, actually needs help from a rookie who’s been here a few days, here a few days, is obviously menat to an over the top comedy mechanism.
If you think about it, the idea that ‘The TWiSTeD Guerrilla’ would even given a rookie the time of day is hysterical. Sure he’s playing for cheap laughs, but sometimes that’s what you have to do to get noticed. See, ‘The Blessed One’ is well aware you have to take these things in context eD, would you get offended if a toddler with a degenerative disease drew an inaccurate portrait of you with their faeces and a Charity decided to display it in every National Gallery in the world?’
eD – ‘Um...I guess not...’
Travis – ‘It’s the same principle.’
[With that ‘The Blessed One’ takes a final drag on his pre-rolled, smiles and closes the lid of his laptop. Almost instantly a third, unfamiliar voice calls out in a Mexican accent]
Mexican – ‘Meester Traveeees! Pleeeease come queeeeckly! He ees doing eet again!’
[Travis gets out of his chair and turns towards the voice and the exit to the grand hall, he sighs and takes another pre-rolled from his jacket pocket and lights up once more. A small Mexican Man can be seen in the doorway, he is wearing jeans and a t-shirt, and is covered in sweat. eD looks towards Travis with nothing but puzzlement]
Travis – ‘Well you weren’t about, so ‘The Blessed One’ had to hire a gardener to keep that field we call a lawn tidy himself, even though Travis Roberts is pretty sure that’s part of what you are paid for. Regardless this is Manuel Type...he likes to be called ‘Stereo’ though...Stereo...this is Mr eD.’
[Stereo looks eD up and down, and as usual when someone comes into contact with the escaped muppet for the first time a look of confusion mixed with fear comes across his face, he then turns to Travis and asks the question that everyone asks..]
Stereo – ‘What happened to heem?’ Was eet an accident?’
Travis – ‘No. he was born this way, it’s a rare disease that is often exploited by TV producers and Film Makers, hence many people don’t quite believe he exists...’
Stereo – ‘No No No!’eee was a horse? What happened to heem?’
[Travis looks down at his pre-rolled and see’s the smoke is drifting into ‘Stereo’s direction, and he quickly places it behind his back to keep it from affecting his new gardeners faculties]
Travis – ‘’The Headliner’ can assure you that eD was never a Horse...’
Stereo – ‘No No No! MEEESTER ED WAS A HORSE!’
Travis – ‘TWiSTeD help us, this has turned into a Brandon Brown promo. What the hell was it you wanted to speak to ‘The Blessed One’ about?
Stereo – ‘Eet’s the new one, he is...backward?’
Travis – ‘What do you mean? You’re only digging out a moat, it’s a simple procedure, take shovel, dig. Small children with brain tumours can grasp that concept.’
Stereo – ‘Si, Si, follow me...’
[eD and Travis exchange looks of bewilderment, and set off following the newest member of Travis’ staff out of the house and across the lawn. We can see in the distance, at the far edge of ‘The Headliners’ property a group of roughly 3 men frantically digging, and one, huge man standing still. As we approach the man becomes clearer in our vision, and we see none other than Aesc, Declan Prescott’s personal manservant, standing in a pair of blue Dungaree’s, with a large rimmed straw hat covering his head and mask from the sun.
As we get even closer to the group, the problem becomes apparent, Aesc is standing with the shovel the wrong way round, mask lifted at an angle, licking the muddy steel end, his tongue darting all over as if it was an ice cream. Travis stops dead in his tracks, turns to Stereo and speaks...]
Travis – ‘Fetch the stick Stereo...Bad Aesc!...BAD!...Put the spade down!...DOWN!...Mr Declan is not going to be happy when ‘The Blessed One’ sends you back to him is he?’
[Aesc drops the shovel and lowers his head in shame, shaking it in agreement with Travis’ statement regarding the Prescott’s emotional status on his return. Stereo then returns with the stick, and the scene fades out....
It fades back in and Travis is sitting once more in his recliner, but this time he is slumped, rather than leisurely reclined, the relaxed energy that filled him at the start seems to have already drained from him. He lights another pre-rolled and then speaks to eD, who is standing directly opposite ‘The Headliner’]
Travis – ‘Why is it every new year starts the same, full of optimism and hope for the year ahead? Only within days to be replaced by that same old feeling of abject inevitability that nothing will change, not this year, probably never. It is already clear 2009 will be very similar to 2008.
‘The Blessed One’ will continue to shine as the ‘Highest Grade in GIW’ and just as he did in 2008 will set the standard for those that follow. Declan Prescott will continue to expose the inadequacies of each member of this Roster. The Revolution will continue to affect Global Impact Wrestling to its very core. Skinny will continue to crotch thrust, Aito Chen will continue to scream incoherently, you dear eD will be as incompetent as ever, Chris Austin will continue his business relationship with a Donkey named Margot, Sean Cyanide will curb stomp a teenager, Boss Penguin will get shown up by ‘The Revolution’, Raenius, Mickey Dragon and Xavier Bryan will continue to unfinish some unfinished business. You see, nothing is going to change.
And the first Sentinel’s main event just goes to illustrate ‘The Blessed Ones’ observations. Once again Travis Roberts will step into the ring with Randy Boolzian and Alex Kiseragi, to decide which of them will get yet another chance to face ‘The Headliner’ and add another story for the grandchildren. ‘The Blessed One’ would have thought after his definitive victory at Horizons that these guys would realise it’s time to let it go. Randy Boolzian was a fine Hardcore Champion, but maybe he just found his level at Horizons, maybe he’d be better suited to wrestling Andy Savana, Sean Cyanide and Chris Austin for the rest of his career.
As for Alex Kiseragi, that young man should just bide his time, he is much younger than ‘The Blessed One’, it is more than likely ‘The Headliner’ will retire before ‘The Dragon’, so one day there may be an opening at the top that he can squeeze into. Sure he got the best of ‘The Most Influential Icon in Sports Entertainment this Millennia’ at Distant Whispers, but without the help of his ageing father he was exposed at Horizons as just what he is, not ready yet.
Yet it will inevitably be one of these men that ‘The Headliner’ will have to face, and defeat, once more come ‘Infinity’ in February. Travis Roberts almost feels as though he is treading the same path all over again, with the New Year all that has come are the same challenges. Yet maybe there is something on the horizon, some spark of hope for 2009. Travis Roberts realises it is possible that someone could come from nowhere and unsettle the monotony that awaits. But when ‘The Blessed One’ looks upon the ranks of newcomers to GIW, his heart fills with despair, a man named BeeB who is destined to become Marlo the Beautiful’s ever present sidekick, A Trust Fund child straight out of the script of 101 TV Shows and Films, a manchild with ADD who’ll probably still string a sentence together better than half the roster, a man who has really, yes really, killed five wrestlers, and could be more of a fantasist than Sean Jensen, and of course a Film Maker that makes the Wayan Brothers look Academy Award worthy. It’s enough to drive any sane man crazy, looking at it from this perspective ‘The Headliner’ is pretty sure ‘The Significant Player’ is as happy as Raenius at a corpse raping party that they are all Boss P’s problem...for now.’
eD – ‘Speaking of that...there is something I’ve been meaning to tell you...’
Travis – ‘Travis Roberts is pretty sure if it has been able to wait all this time, it can wait now. Nothing that comes out of your mouth is ever uplifting or positive, so ‘The Blessed One’ would appreciate it if you just kept those worthless thoughts to yourself. ‘The Headliner’ needs to get out of this New Year slump before Sentinel, because despite all the negatives, one thing will remain the same for the better...yours truly.
As 2009 begins for Global Impact Wrestling, all can be secure in the knowledge that it begins with ‘The TWiSTeD Guerrilla’ at the helm. GIW’s first ever Unified Global Champion is the only man suitable for the task of leading this company into the New Year, and onto new challenges.
Because some things...never change.’
[With that Travis flashes a smile and the camera fades to deep black, ending the first appearance of 2009 for The Unified Global Champion]
Before we are able to make our way past the various columns that hold up the enormous ceiling to investigate this further, the huge double doors to the Grand Hall swing open, and Travis Roberts’ agent, eD cASe comes striding through and heads straight for plume of smoke. The view follows the back of this unique individual’s head, and given the skull is covered completely in a yellow, fur like material, you can’t help but being put in mind of a tennis ball. As we near the Leather Recliner, we hear the sound of Nicholas Vinegar’s voice...]
Vinegar – ‘...I don't know if he lead with his best foot forward there, Daniel.’
[eD and the arrive in front of the recliner and we are greeted by the familiar, and to some comforting, sight of GIW’s First Unified Global Champion, Travis Roberts, reclined, with one of his special pre rolled delicacies hanging from his mouth has he stares at the screen of a laptop. Before he looks up to acknowledge his agent, the world’s most famous stringless puppet since a little wooden boy who’s nose grew to epic proportions addresses ‘The Blessed One’]
eD – ‘So I see you’re back then. Cutting it a little fine aren’t we? Are we going to see another repeat of your last title reign? Underestimating each of your opponents, heading into matches completely unprepared, relying on your buddy Declan to get you through?’
[Travis looks over the top of his trademark Aviator Glasses at hies agent, his eyes narrow, but then a huge grin spreads across his face]
Travis – ‘It’s good to see you too, little man! ‘The Blessed One’ had a fantastic break, highlighted by the fact Travis Roberts is so relaxed your paranoid delusions have no effect on him. Prior to the break ‘The Headliner ‘ would surely have obliterated your self worth with just a few choice words. But the powers of Jamaican hospitality and weather for an entire month have left ‘The Highest Grade in GIW’ at ease with himself.’
[eD looks at Travis, then up in the air, then back at ‘The Blessed One’ doing his best to express frustration, which is difficult given the severe handicaps presented to him]
eD – ‘At ease? Travis, you, once again, are the number one target in GIW, everyone is going to be gunning for you, this is no time to be at ease! In the name of TWISTeD, you have both Alex Kiseragi AND Randy Boolzian first week back, you think you can get through that whilst you are at ease?’
Travis – ‘A matter of minutes, and Travis Roberts can already feel your yellow ass undoing everything that was achieved by the sandy beaches of Jamaica. ‘The Blessed One’ can’t pretend he didn’t expect you to kill his chill, but ‘The Headliner’ had hoped you’d let it remain for at least 24 hours...’
eD – ‘I’m just trying to help Travis, I don’t want to see you lose that title again, I’m not sure I can deal with that[/b] Travis again...’[/color]
Travis – ‘Help? What like you did on the run up to Horizons? Like when Cara was unconscious in a hospital bed? It has been made perfectly clear ‘The Blessed One’ doesn’t need your help to be a success, for TWiSTeD’s sake, the only real job you had last year was arranging a celebration for ‘The Blessed Ones’ victory post-Horizons...and we all know how that turned out...’
[eD shuffles from one foot to the other whilst looking down at the floor, clearly Travis’ words have hit a spot, and his agent does his best to look sorry]
eD – ‘Well that technically wasn’t my fault...’
Travis – ‘Yeah, yeah...*mimics eD*’Security should have been more prepared’, ‘You didn’t think he could even walk’...’The Headliner’ heard it all a month ago, and to be completely honest is just glad the whole sorry incident is in the past and that ‘The Blessed One’ will never have to think of that travesty ever again.
So did you just bounce round here to destroy my aura and remind me of your inadequacies? Or was their some other reason? Travis Roberts would say he was surprised you were not here to greet him this morning when he arrived, but given your increasingly retarded behaviour in recent months that would be a blatant lie.’
eD – ‘Erm....well...I’ve been busy, you’re not my only client you know!’
Travis – ‘When did this happen? ‘The Blessed One’ will not play second fiddle in your pitiful existence to anyone, who the hell is it?’
eD – ‘Ha ha? I was just being obtuse! Of course I haven’t got another client buddy! I’m not working for anyone else, certainly not anyone you might consider your enemy...anyway, what were you watching just then, doing some prep on your opponents?’
Travis – ‘Oh...’The Headliner’ was just surfing the net...’
[[eD’s face falls into a picture of relief as he realised he has managed to stear his employer away from a difficult line of questioning]
eD – ‘Googleing yourself again?’
Travis – ‘No, ‘The Most Influential Icon in Sports Entertainment this Millenia’ was just catching up with GIW.com, just watched that new guy, Moss Edwards’ skit...’
[eD’s face instantly changes once more from relief, straight back to panic...]
eD – ‘Oh...yeah....that...umm, what did you think?
[eD closes his eyes, readying himself for the inevitable onslaught he is aware is oncoming]
Travis – ‘It was ok.’
eD – ‘I’m sorry, I’ll make sure we get our lawyers onto hi...Say what? You liked it!’
Travis – ‘Liked would be a strong word, but Travis Roberts certainly wasn’t offended by it, why the hell you talking about lawyers?’
eD – ‘Well I wasn’t sure you’d like how...you were portrayed...’
Travis – ‘Give Travis Roberts a little more credit than that eD, ‘The Blessed One’ didn’t raise an eyebrow when that walking Trailer Park STI Outbreak stuck his diseased doodle in ‘The Headliners’ estranged whore of a wife, why would Moss Edwards have bothered him? The guy clearly wants to make films, and that’s fine in ‘The Blessed Ones’ book. Sure if Travis Roberts were going to make a foray into the film making world he’d definitely aim higher than the ‘Epic Movie’’/‘Disaster Movie’/’Scary Movie’ genre and style, but ‘The Auteur’ is free to pursue whatever path he wishes.’
eD – ‘You mean you really have no problems with it? I mean I thought you’d be somewhat offended by the guy that ‘played’ you, especially the way he spoke...’
Travis – ‘What the hell do you mean? ‘The Headliner’ saw nothing wrong with the way that guy spoke, in fact it was one of the better parts. You obviously have very little idea of the film industry eD. Moss’ little film was never meant to be a documentary; it was quite clearly a spoof. Sure the way the Travis Roberts character acted, and the things he said, were utterly ridiculous, but only a full blown, terminal, window licker would mistake GIW’s First Ever Unified Global Champion for what was presented in front of them. Hell the entire premise was that ‘The Headliner’ needed help being entertaining? It was clearly meant to be unbelievable. The idea that the man that made Aito Chen’s title run anything other than a comatose inducing throwback to our industries dark times, actually needs help from a rookie who’s been here a few days, here a few days, is obviously menat to an over the top comedy mechanism.
If you think about it, the idea that ‘The TWiSTeD Guerrilla’ would even given a rookie the time of day is hysterical. Sure he’s playing for cheap laughs, but sometimes that’s what you have to do to get noticed. See, ‘The Blessed One’ is well aware you have to take these things in context eD, would you get offended if a toddler with a degenerative disease drew an inaccurate portrait of you with their faeces and a Charity decided to display it in every National Gallery in the world?’
eD – ‘Um...I guess not...’
Travis – ‘It’s the same principle.’
[With that ‘The Blessed One’ takes a final drag on his pre-rolled, smiles and closes the lid of his laptop. Almost instantly a third, unfamiliar voice calls out in a Mexican accent]
Mexican – ‘Meester Traveeees! Pleeeease come queeeeckly! He ees doing eet again!’
[Travis gets out of his chair and turns towards the voice and the exit to the grand hall, he sighs and takes another pre-rolled from his jacket pocket and lights up once more. A small Mexican Man can be seen in the doorway, he is wearing jeans and a t-shirt, and is covered in sweat. eD looks towards Travis with nothing but puzzlement]
Travis – ‘Well you weren’t about, so ‘The Blessed One’ had to hire a gardener to keep that field we call a lawn tidy himself, even though Travis Roberts is pretty sure that’s part of what you are paid for. Regardless this is Manuel Type...he likes to be called ‘Stereo’ though...Stereo...this is Mr eD.’
[Stereo looks eD up and down, and as usual when someone comes into contact with the escaped muppet for the first time a look of confusion mixed with fear comes across his face, he then turns to Travis and asks the question that everyone asks..]
Stereo – ‘What happened to heem?’ Was eet an accident?’
Travis – ‘No. he was born this way, it’s a rare disease that is often exploited by TV producers and Film Makers, hence many people don’t quite believe he exists...’
Stereo – ‘No No No!’eee was a horse? What happened to heem?’
[Travis looks down at his pre-rolled and see’s the smoke is drifting into ‘Stereo’s direction, and he quickly places it behind his back to keep it from affecting his new gardeners faculties]
Travis – ‘’The Headliner’ can assure you that eD was never a Horse...’
Stereo – ‘No No No! MEEESTER ED WAS A HORSE!’
Travis – ‘TWiSTeD help us, this has turned into a Brandon Brown promo. What the hell was it you wanted to speak to ‘The Blessed One’ about?
Stereo – ‘Eet’s the new one, he is...backward?’
Travis – ‘What do you mean? You’re only digging out a moat, it’s a simple procedure, take shovel, dig. Small children with brain tumours can grasp that concept.’
Stereo – ‘Si, Si, follow me...’
[eD and Travis exchange looks of bewilderment, and set off following the newest member of Travis’ staff out of the house and across the lawn. We can see in the distance, at the far edge of ‘The Headliners’ property a group of roughly 3 men frantically digging, and one, huge man standing still. As we approach the man becomes clearer in our vision, and we see none other than Aesc, Declan Prescott’s personal manservant, standing in a pair of blue Dungaree’s, with a large rimmed straw hat covering his head and mask from the sun.
As we get even closer to the group, the problem becomes apparent, Aesc is standing with the shovel the wrong way round, mask lifted at an angle, licking the muddy steel end, his tongue darting all over as if it was an ice cream. Travis stops dead in his tracks, turns to Stereo and speaks...]
Travis – ‘Fetch the stick Stereo...Bad Aesc!...BAD!...Put the spade down!...DOWN!...Mr Declan is not going to be happy when ‘The Blessed One’ sends you back to him is he?’
[Aesc drops the shovel and lowers his head in shame, shaking it in agreement with Travis’ statement regarding the Prescott’s emotional status on his return. Stereo then returns with the stick, and the scene fades out....
It fades back in and Travis is sitting once more in his recliner, but this time he is slumped, rather than leisurely reclined, the relaxed energy that filled him at the start seems to have already drained from him. He lights another pre-rolled and then speaks to eD, who is standing directly opposite ‘The Headliner’]
Travis – ‘Why is it every new year starts the same, full of optimism and hope for the year ahead? Only within days to be replaced by that same old feeling of abject inevitability that nothing will change, not this year, probably never. It is already clear 2009 will be very similar to 2008.
‘The Blessed One’ will continue to shine as the ‘Highest Grade in GIW’ and just as he did in 2008 will set the standard for those that follow. Declan Prescott will continue to expose the inadequacies of each member of this Roster. The Revolution will continue to affect Global Impact Wrestling to its very core. Skinny will continue to crotch thrust, Aito Chen will continue to scream incoherently, you dear eD will be as incompetent as ever, Chris Austin will continue his business relationship with a Donkey named Margot, Sean Cyanide will curb stomp a teenager, Boss Penguin will get shown up by ‘The Revolution’, Raenius, Mickey Dragon and Xavier Bryan will continue to unfinish some unfinished business. You see, nothing is going to change.
And the first Sentinel’s main event just goes to illustrate ‘The Blessed Ones’ observations. Once again Travis Roberts will step into the ring with Randy Boolzian and Alex Kiseragi, to decide which of them will get yet another chance to face ‘The Headliner’ and add another story for the grandchildren. ‘The Blessed One’ would have thought after his definitive victory at Horizons that these guys would realise it’s time to let it go. Randy Boolzian was a fine Hardcore Champion, but maybe he just found his level at Horizons, maybe he’d be better suited to wrestling Andy Savana, Sean Cyanide and Chris Austin for the rest of his career.
As for Alex Kiseragi, that young man should just bide his time, he is much younger than ‘The Blessed One’, it is more than likely ‘The Headliner’ will retire before ‘The Dragon’, so one day there may be an opening at the top that he can squeeze into. Sure he got the best of ‘The Most Influential Icon in Sports Entertainment this Millennia’ at Distant Whispers, but without the help of his ageing father he was exposed at Horizons as just what he is, not ready yet.
Yet it will inevitably be one of these men that ‘The Headliner’ will have to face, and defeat, once more come ‘Infinity’ in February. Travis Roberts almost feels as though he is treading the same path all over again, with the New Year all that has come are the same challenges. Yet maybe there is something on the horizon, some spark of hope for 2009. Travis Roberts realises it is possible that someone could come from nowhere and unsettle the monotony that awaits. But when ‘The Blessed One’ looks upon the ranks of newcomers to GIW, his heart fills with despair, a man named BeeB who is destined to become Marlo the Beautiful’s ever present sidekick, A Trust Fund child straight out of the script of 101 TV Shows and Films, a manchild with ADD who’ll probably still string a sentence together better than half the roster, a man who has really, yes really, killed five wrestlers, and could be more of a fantasist than Sean Jensen, and of course a Film Maker that makes the Wayan Brothers look Academy Award worthy. It’s enough to drive any sane man crazy, looking at it from this perspective ‘The Headliner’ is pretty sure ‘The Significant Player’ is as happy as Raenius at a corpse raping party that they are all Boss P’s problem...for now.’
eD – ‘Speaking of that...there is something I’ve been meaning to tell you...’
Travis – ‘Travis Roberts is pretty sure if it has been able to wait all this time, it can wait now. Nothing that comes out of your mouth is ever uplifting or positive, so ‘The Blessed One’ would appreciate it if you just kept those worthless thoughts to yourself. ‘The Headliner’ needs to get out of this New Year slump before Sentinel, because despite all the negatives, one thing will remain the same for the better...yours truly.
As 2009 begins for Global Impact Wrestling, all can be secure in the knowledge that it begins with ‘The TWiSTeD Guerrilla’ at the helm. GIW’s first ever Unified Global Champion is the only man suitable for the task of leading this company into the New Year, and onto new challenges.
Because some things...never change.’
[With that Travis flashes a smile and the camera fades to deep black, ending the first appearance of 2009 for The Unified Global Champion]
