Post by T-Robosaurus Rex on Jul 22, 2009 19:00:07 GMT -5
[A man tugs the left arm of his suit towards him, and looks at his watch, taking in the time he lowers his arm and begins to pace backwards and forwards in front of the entrance to an unknown venue. The sky is clear and the sun glares directly into his face, forcing this individual to continually squint, making him look less than distinguished. After a few moments he looks at his watch once more, impatiently, his face bending into a frown. He’s not an old man, nor is he young, probably around 35 years old, and it almost seems, from the strained look on his face, that whatever he is waiting for is incredibly important to his life.
After a few more moments of pacing, a black Cadillac with dark green tinted windows pulls up in front of the unknown man, the back door opens, and out steps the GIW Unified Global Champion, Travis Roberts. He has the Title belt slung across his left shoulder, and it rests snugly against his leather jacket. The nervous pacing man comes rushing forward...]
Man – ‘Mr Roberts...it’s a pleasure to meet you, I’m David Caldwell...’
[Travis looks the newcomer up and down, despite the fact we cannot see ‘The Blessed Ones’ eyes, it’s clear he is confused, as he stands wordlessly staring at Caldwell’s outstretched hand, he finally shakes his head clear and realises who the guy is]
Travis – ‘Ah yeah....the new eD...or potentially anyway...’
David – ‘That’s right, I’m so thrilled you gave me the opportunity to impress, I’m sorry I made such a big mistake straight off the bat...’
Travis – ‘Mistake?’
David – ‘Well I clearly gave your driver the wrong directions to this place...’
Travis – ‘Nah, ‘The Headliner’ has been here before, there was no need for directions...’
[Caldwell is clearly taken aback, but quickly leaps back into admitting a mistake ‘The Blessed One’ seems to be unaware of]
David – ‘Oh...well...I must have told you the wrong time...’
Travis – ‘No, you definitely told ‘The Headliner’ 10am.’
[David’s face drops, he looks as though he’s just walked in on his wife playing ‘hide the pickle’ with his father, he almost looks as though he wants to cry. He takes a few long, deep breathes and then speaks...]
David – ‘But...it’s...11am...’
Travis – Yeah, ‘The Blessed One’ didn’t sleep so well last night...long story...shouldn’t we be getting in there...’
[‘The Blessed One’ starts to make his way towards the door, when David suddenly walks in front of him and places his hand upon ‘The Headliners’ chest, blocking him from moving any further. Travis looks down at Caldwell, and as we’ve come to expect in this kind of situation, raises his eyebrows, as his new agent begins to speaking, quickly and with the hint of a tremble in his voice]
David – ‘You...didn’t...sleep so well? I was up until 4am getting this press conference organised for you on such short notice, I turned up here at 6:30am to ensure everything was in place and ready...you turn up an hour late...and you flippantly declare you[/b] didn’t sleep so well? I’m sorry Mr Roberts, but frankly that’s disrespectful...’[/color]
[The GIW Unified Global Champion takes a step back and straightens up, he then flashes a faux smile at David, and speaks...]
Travis – ‘Thanks for dropping by, it was great to meet you, Travis Roberts’ office will be in contact once we have made a decision...’
David – ‘Wha...What? Are...are...you firing me?’
Travis – ‘Look, as you’ve pointed out ‘The Headliner’ is late for his own press conference, ‘The TWiSTeD Guerrilla’ doesn’t have time to give you feedback right now, and it’s probably best you left with some vain hope that ‘The Blessed One’ might actually consider you for the position. Once more thanks for coming, have a safe trip back...’
[Before Caldwell can respond, Travis brushes past him, sweeping him aside with his right hand, which is covered in a protective cast, and strides through the doors of the venue. As he does another flustered man comes rushing towards him...]
Flustered Man – ‘Ahhh Mr Roberts, I’m so glad you made it...did you sleep well?’
[The scene fades out and into darkness, not black, but merely the absence of light. For a moment it seems as though nothing will happen, but then through the darkness a sound echoes]
DRIP!
[Then nothing, but as we adjust our ears we can hear the vague sound of breathing. As we focus upon the vibrations, the rhythmic nature of the inhaling and exhaling becomes almost hypnotising, the breathes are long and deep, observing this darkness, with the occasional drip and the consistent gathering of oxygen, one cannot be captivated by how peaceful and simple the scene is...]
’SARTRAK BALDACK, FGRATH PYLATOT FANIGRA!’
’mmmphrmmph..wha...’
[The piercing sound of gibberish interrupts the flow of breathing, and the sleeper becomes restless. As the unknown figure groans, we become aware for the first time, of a second set of lungs, as they speak from the other side of the unlit space]
Travis – ‘Dude...you awake?’
Declan – ‘Hrrrmph....yeah dude, no thanks to that crazy ass feline guardian...how many fucking cats does she have? I mean, shit, concrete should not smell of cat piss...it’s against the laws of physics....’
Travis – ‘At least you’ve been able to get some sleep...’The Blessed One’ is having trouble letting his guard down in the same building as Joka...Travis Roberts don’t wanna risk waking up covered in that strange example of devolutions drool...whilst he tries to do unspeakable things to ‘The Headliners’ eyelids...’
Declan – ‘You gotta relax dude, shit I know this ain’t ideal, but keep focused. It’s not like we have to be here, but we need to be here to turn that damn enforcer into a family bargain bucket...’
Travis – ‘Yeah, Travis Roberts knows, hell we’re The Revolution, sometimes we gotta work the land, you know mix with...sub-level[/b]...citizens. It’s quite clear we don’t belong here with these rejects that cannot control their own fates and destinies, the kind of people that blame everyone else for their problems...’The Blessed One’ and ‘The Heart and Soul of GIW’ are gonna have to work damn hard to convince people that their lives have fallen apart...ha can you imagine if we actually...belonged here...’[/color]
Declan – ‘Ha Ha Ha...yeah...just imagine that! That’s as funny as the time we put the title on Komosube, and everyone bought him as a credible champion...’
Travis – ‘And that time ‘The Headliner’ made it look like Lord, Deathman was a credible Number 1 contender...’
Declan – ‘What about the time we switched you for the a group of backstage employee’s?’
Travis – ‘Classic! ‘The Revolution’ are genius’, always one step ahead, no-one can ever second guess ‘The Significant Player’ and ‘The Blessed One’. No-one saw these two icons, moving into a halfway house with a group of retards...and before Boss P knows it...we’ll be running this place once more...’
Declan – ‘Exactly...I wish I could say I’m surprised no-one else has figured it out, but despite the fact that that is the only logical reason we would ever step foot in a cesspit like this, they’ll fall for the ‘lives in turmoil’ cover story...’
Travis – ‘Turmoil...ha, what an idea!’
‘AHAHAHAHAHAHA! I am free....FREEEE!!! ...Christmas time, mistletoe and wine, children skinning Christian mimes, dogs set on fire, hang the kids in the tree’s, it’s time to feed rats to the blind and the meek...MOOOOOOO!!! BAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!’
[The screeching comes to an end after the surreal impression of a sheep bleating. A few short moments later though, another sound can be heard, a scratching against wood...from the acoustics we can tell it is coming from the door to ‘The Revolutions’ room. We hear both members hold their breath at the same time. Then the boom of a Polish voice bellows through the building]
‘JOKAR...GET AWAY FRAHM DECLAM AND TRARVIS’ ROOM...’
‘Never...NEVER...You cannot restrain the Joka, he is the essence of chaos, the unpredictability of Zeus himself, I too once flew through a bottle of crabs, and they bought me the light...Oh yay...Oh yay....OOOOOOH SHIIIIIT! IT’S STUCK AGAIN!!! ‘
‘VARE?’
‘IN THE KEYHOLE!’
[From within the room, we hear both Declan, and Travis very quietly, under their breath, at the same moment exclaim;]
Shit!
Shit!
[And suddenly Travis is standing staring at a podium and a sea of awaiting journalists. Banks of Television camera’s point in his direction, tens of microphones are thrust in his direction, journalists sit pens poised to notepads, and Travis just stands there, staring blankly as he readjusts to the present. After a moment he leans forward and begins to speak]
Travis – ‘You are all very welcome to have...’
[‘The Headliner’ looks down at the microphone as it appears not to be working, his face twists up like DJ attempting to fit himself into the graph of evolution, and due to the lack of anyone close by to berate he just starts talking to himself]
Travis – ‘Typical...didn’t these trainee benefit gatherers have enough time to ensure the damn microphone was in working order. Everywhere ‘The Headliner’ goes he is faced by mediocrity at best, and that’s if Travis Roberts is lucky. This town makes multi-million dollar films every day of the year, is it unreasonable for ‘The Blessed One’ to assume ensuring a microphone broadcasts should be relatively simple?
Travis Roberts knew he should have got Zeke to roll more for ‘The Headliner’ before he left for the halfway house yesterday. That was a decidedly Boolzian like decision, ‘The Blessed One’ is gonna need to train a monkey to roll for him or something...although in ‘The TWiSTeD Guerrilla’s current abode, any living thing is at risk of getting Joka stuck in them...’
[Suddenly a commotion breaks out in the press, and Travis’ flow is interrupted by a distinctly familiar voice]
‘I hope the ‘TWiSTeD Falllacy’ doesn’t mind the interuption’
[Travis face freezes over, his brow furrows, and his good hand grips the podium tight. As he speaks the following words his eyes glaze over...]
Travis – ‘Randy Boolzian’
[We’re no longer at the Press Conference, we are neither revisiting the darkened room, we are in a new place, we are in the main room of Ezekiel Pax and Marek Daisuke’s High Rise. Travis is sat abck on an easy boy leather chair, as Zeke sits, cross legged on the floor, with a board in front of him, piled high with a green, herby substance, many rolling papers and a modest pile of rolled delicacies. As ‘Peace’ puts the finishing touches onto yet another pre-rolled he looks up towards Travis as he speaks...]
Travis – ‘Randy Boolzian...has a lot to answer for. You know that self-pitying, backwater ingrate still has not reimbursed Travis Roberts for his sink... the sink he senselessly defaced...the man has no principles. When ‘The Headliner’ saw him come through that door during Sentinel, for a moment he assumed ‘BoolZ’ was coming to pay him back...instead he fractured various bones in my hand! Not only can ‘The Headliner’ no longer sanitise ‘The TWiSTeD Cutlery’, but he cannot go to a place where it does not matter....unfortunately for Randy, that can only be bad news for him...’
Zeke – ‘Yeah man...I hear ya...I hear ya...what did ya make of his words at Sentinel?’
Travis – ‘Travis Roberts hasn’t got round to watching that yet...you know how ya have to be in the mood to watch the retards that try and sing Mariah Carey songs on ‘American Idol’ in the early rounds...you know how ya have to want to watch another human being humiliated in front of millions...’cause if you’re not in the mood...well...it’s just painful...’
Zeke – ‘Yeaaaah maaan! I remember this one dude...’
Travis – ‘Well that’s what it’s like for ‘The Most influential Icon in Sports Entertainment this Millennia’ when Randy picks up a microphone. Travis Roberts just has to be in the mood to watch a man repeatedly place both feet in his mouth, rapidly in front of an arena full of simpletons, baying for his humiliation. And if ‘The Headliner’ happens to be unable to avoid Randy Boolzian searching randomly for some kind of point, he merely zones out, confident in the knowledge that someone will have caught the pitiful act on camera...’
Zeke – ‘But he is[/b] pretty sweet in the ring, he’s never been pinned, but it’s just a matter of time, and who better than ‘T-Rob Light’ to do it huh? You think I have what it takes man?’[/color]
[Travis has been happily inhaling away on a pre-rolled as Zeke has voiced his views on Randy. Travis realises that Zeke has asked a question, and is awaiting a response, and just dives into his next diatribe, without glancing towards the man who would be his protégé, if only he was given the chance]
Travis – ‘Travis Roberts is pretty sure ‘Diamond’ Jack is gonna think the fact ‘the Headliner’ is minus one hand, it might make his chances a little easier. This is an individual who considers the likes of Alex Kiseragi to be stiff competition. He’s even living with that nipple thrusting janitor, what chance is there that his brains nerve endings are actually firing up correctly?
C’mon, a guy who seems to be distraught about the loss of a woman, who if memory serves ‘The Blessed One’ correctly, actually used to have conversations with Chris Austin. Any woman who was happy to be seen on camera with that donkey fisting reprobate, without having to take a bath in disinfectant directly afterwards, is not the kind of girl ya wanna settle down with...unless of course a different type of horseplay is what your after...
But Travis Roberts cannot feel sympathy for Severino, for he is a lucky man. His foul wench is willing to leave him alone, whereas ‘The Headliner’ cannot get rid of the biggest mistake of his life. Maybe Travis Roberts should warn ‘Diamond’ Jack, because ‘The Blessed One’ recognises many of the traits of Mary-Joanna in Gabby, the inflated self-importance, the ability to manipulate weak men like Jack, BoolZ and Hanson to their will. These women...are poisonous, once they decide they want your soul...they take it...and they...wring it in their bare hands...’Diamond’ Jack wouldn’t listen though, even if ‘The TWiSTeD Icon’ gave him the benefit of Travis Roberts incredible experience, he’s too far gone. She is well and truly in his mind, ever since she became more successful than him, all the time she has held that Women’s Title and his only achievement is beating a glorified childrens party at Horizons...all that time she has captured him, she has taken ‘Diamond’ Jack Severino, she has played with him until he broke, and now she will discard him...just until the moment he can be of use again....’
[The Headliner is speaking much slower than before, he seems to be enjoying his latest smoke. If we could see behind those Aviator glasses, his eyes, would most certainly be bloodshot and dialated...]
Zeke – ‘Dude...I told you this shit was good...’
Travis – ‘’The Headliner’ is in the mood to see someone humiliate themselves epically...you got last weekends Sentinel?’
Zeke – ‘Sure...just press the TiVo button on the remote and search down the listings...here, catch...’
[Zeke throws the remote for the TV towards Travis, whose good hand is currently holding a spliff. Travis face loosens up, as a brief panic crosses his face, as the remote control flies in slowmotion towards his janglies...
But then the remote control, somehow morphs into a microphone spinning through the air towards ‘The Blessed One’ who is now, once again standing, gripping the podium with his good hand, as the microphone flies towards his right. With unusually quick reflexes for a man of his well publicised habits ‘The Headliner’ releases his grip and catches the microphone with a little flourish. He smiles a cocky grin towards Randy Boolzian who can be now seen walking into the distance, without even a look over his shoulder. Travis then raises the microphone to his lips.]
Travis – ‘Now before that walking STI so rudely interrupted ‘The Bless..’
[The microphone cuts out, and Travis just hangs his head in defeat, and mutters to himself]
Travis – ‘Shit.’
[The Darkness floods back in, the drip has intensified, and drops in its own irritatingly inconsistent rhythm. And through the absence of light, a cacophony of lunacy can be heard, just outside the walls]
‘SNARPLE DJKLARP...FRIIIIGIIIITAY’
‘YAR...FEEL DEE BURN!’
‘Rabbits and ginger....The Joka is a Ninja!....And he's coming...for YOOOOOHOOOO!’
‘You awake?’
After a few more moments of pacing, a black Cadillac with dark green tinted windows pulls up in front of the unknown man, the back door opens, and out steps the GIW Unified Global Champion, Travis Roberts. He has the Title belt slung across his left shoulder, and it rests snugly against his leather jacket. The nervous pacing man comes rushing forward...]
Man – ‘Mr Roberts...it’s a pleasure to meet you, I’m David Caldwell...’
[Travis looks the newcomer up and down, despite the fact we cannot see ‘The Blessed Ones’ eyes, it’s clear he is confused, as he stands wordlessly staring at Caldwell’s outstretched hand, he finally shakes his head clear and realises who the guy is]
Travis – ‘Ah yeah....the new eD...or potentially anyway...’
David – ‘That’s right, I’m so thrilled you gave me the opportunity to impress, I’m sorry I made such a big mistake straight off the bat...’
Travis – ‘Mistake?’
David – ‘Well I clearly gave your driver the wrong directions to this place...’
Travis – ‘Nah, ‘The Headliner’ has been here before, there was no need for directions...’
[Caldwell is clearly taken aback, but quickly leaps back into admitting a mistake ‘The Blessed One’ seems to be unaware of]
David – ‘Oh...well...I must have told you the wrong time...’
Travis – ‘No, you definitely told ‘The Headliner’ 10am.’
[David’s face drops, he looks as though he’s just walked in on his wife playing ‘hide the pickle’ with his father, he almost looks as though he wants to cry. He takes a few long, deep breathes and then speaks...]
David – ‘But...it’s...11am...’
Travis – Yeah, ‘The Blessed One’ didn’t sleep so well last night...long story...shouldn’t we be getting in there...’
[‘The Blessed One’ starts to make his way towards the door, when David suddenly walks in front of him and places his hand upon ‘The Headliners’ chest, blocking him from moving any further. Travis looks down at Caldwell, and as we’ve come to expect in this kind of situation, raises his eyebrows, as his new agent begins to speaking, quickly and with the hint of a tremble in his voice]
David – ‘You...didn’t...sleep so well? I was up until 4am getting this press conference organised for you on such short notice, I turned up here at 6:30am to ensure everything was in place and ready...you turn up an hour late...and you flippantly declare you[/b] didn’t sleep so well? I’m sorry Mr Roberts, but frankly that’s disrespectful...’[/color]
[The GIW Unified Global Champion takes a step back and straightens up, he then flashes a faux smile at David, and speaks...]
Travis – ‘Thanks for dropping by, it was great to meet you, Travis Roberts’ office will be in contact once we have made a decision...’
David – ‘Wha...What? Are...are...you firing me?’
Travis – ‘Look, as you’ve pointed out ‘The Headliner’ is late for his own press conference, ‘The TWiSTeD Guerrilla’ doesn’t have time to give you feedback right now, and it’s probably best you left with some vain hope that ‘The Blessed One’ might actually consider you for the position. Once more thanks for coming, have a safe trip back...’
[Before Caldwell can respond, Travis brushes past him, sweeping him aside with his right hand, which is covered in a protective cast, and strides through the doors of the venue. As he does another flustered man comes rushing towards him...]
Flustered Man – ‘Ahhh Mr Roberts, I’m so glad you made it...did you sleep well?’
[The scene fades out and into darkness, not black, but merely the absence of light. For a moment it seems as though nothing will happen, but then through the darkness a sound echoes]
DRIP!
[Then nothing, but as we adjust our ears we can hear the vague sound of breathing. As we focus upon the vibrations, the rhythmic nature of the inhaling and exhaling becomes almost hypnotising, the breathes are long and deep, observing this darkness, with the occasional drip and the consistent gathering of oxygen, one cannot be captivated by how peaceful and simple the scene is...]
’SARTRAK BALDACK, FGRATH PYLATOT FANIGRA!’
’mmmphrmmph..wha...’
[The piercing sound of gibberish interrupts the flow of breathing, and the sleeper becomes restless. As the unknown figure groans, we become aware for the first time, of a second set of lungs, as they speak from the other side of the unlit space]
Travis – ‘Dude...you awake?’
Declan – ‘Hrrrmph....yeah dude, no thanks to that crazy ass feline guardian...how many fucking cats does she have? I mean, shit, concrete should not smell of cat piss...it’s against the laws of physics....’
Travis – ‘At least you’ve been able to get some sleep...’The Blessed One’ is having trouble letting his guard down in the same building as Joka...Travis Roberts don’t wanna risk waking up covered in that strange example of devolutions drool...whilst he tries to do unspeakable things to ‘The Headliners’ eyelids...’
Declan – ‘You gotta relax dude, shit I know this ain’t ideal, but keep focused. It’s not like we have to be here, but we need to be here to turn that damn enforcer into a family bargain bucket...’
Travis – ‘Yeah, Travis Roberts knows, hell we’re The Revolution, sometimes we gotta work the land, you know mix with...sub-level[/b]...citizens. It’s quite clear we don’t belong here with these rejects that cannot control their own fates and destinies, the kind of people that blame everyone else for their problems...’The Blessed One’ and ‘The Heart and Soul of GIW’ are gonna have to work damn hard to convince people that their lives have fallen apart...ha can you imagine if we actually...belonged here...’[/color]
Declan – ‘Ha Ha Ha...yeah...just imagine that! That’s as funny as the time we put the title on Komosube, and everyone bought him as a credible champion...’
Travis – ‘And that time ‘The Headliner’ made it look like Lord, Deathman was a credible Number 1 contender...’
Declan – ‘What about the time we switched you for the a group of backstage employee’s?’
Travis – ‘Classic! ‘The Revolution’ are genius’, always one step ahead, no-one can ever second guess ‘The Significant Player’ and ‘The Blessed One’. No-one saw these two icons, moving into a halfway house with a group of retards...and before Boss P knows it...we’ll be running this place once more...’
Declan – ‘Exactly...I wish I could say I’m surprised no-one else has figured it out, but despite the fact that that is the only logical reason we would ever step foot in a cesspit like this, they’ll fall for the ‘lives in turmoil’ cover story...’
Travis – ‘Turmoil...ha, what an idea!’
‘AHAHAHAHAHAHA! I am free....FREEEE!!! ...Christmas time, mistletoe and wine, children skinning Christian mimes, dogs set on fire, hang the kids in the tree’s, it’s time to feed rats to the blind and the meek...MOOOOOOO!!! BAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!’
[The screeching comes to an end after the surreal impression of a sheep bleating. A few short moments later though, another sound can be heard, a scratching against wood...from the acoustics we can tell it is coming from the door to ‘The Revolutions’ room. We hear both members hold their breath at the same time. Then the boom of a Polish voice bellows through the building]
‘JOKAR...GET AWAY FRAHM DECLAM AND TRARVIS’ ROOM...’
‘Never...NEVER...You cannot restrain the Joka, he is the essence of chaos, the unpredictability of Zeus himself, I too once flew through a bottle of crabs, and they bought me the light...Oh yay...Oh yay....OOOOOOH SHIIIIIT! IT’S STUCK AGAIN!!! ‘
‘VARE?’
‘IN THE KEYHOLE!’
[From within the room, we hear both Declan, and Travis very quietly, under their breath, at the same moment exclaim;]
Shit!
Shit!
[And suddenly Travis is standing staring at a podium and a sea of awaiting journalists. Banks of Television camera’s point in his direction, tens of microphones are thrust in his direction, journalists sit pens poised to notepads, and Travis just stands there, staring blankly as he readjusts to the present. After a moment he leans forward and begins to speak]
Travis – ‘You are all very welcome to have...’
[‘The Headliner’ looks down at the microphone as it appears not to be working, his face twists up like DJ attempting to fit himself into the graph of evolution, and due to the lack of anyone close by to berate he just starts talking to himself]
Travis – ‘Typical...didn’t these trainee benefit gatherers have enough time to ensure the damn microphone was in working order. Everywhere ‘The Headliner’ goes he is faced by mediocrity at best, and that’s if Travis Roberts is lucky. This town makes multi-million dollar films every day of the year, is it unreasonable for ‘The Blessed One’ to assume ensuring a microphone broadcasts should be relatively simple?
Travis Roberts knew he should have got Zeke to roll more for ‘The Headliner’ before he left for the halfway house yesterday. That was a decidedly Boolzian like decision, ‘The Blessed One’ is gonna need to train a monkey to roll for him or something...although in ‘The TWiSTeD Guerrilla’s current abode, any living thing is at risk of getting Joka stuck in them...’
[Suddenly a commotion breaks out in the press, and Travis’ flow is interrupted by a distinctly familiar voice]
‘I hope the ‘TWiSTeD Falllacy’ doesn’t mind the interuption’
[Travis face freezes over, his brow furrows, and his good hand grips the podium tight. As he speaks the following words his eyes glaze over...]
Travis – ‘Randy Boolzian’
[We’re no longer at the Press Conference, we are neither revisiting the darkened room, we are in a new place, we are in the main room of Ezekiel Pax and Marek Daisuke’s High Rise. Travis is sat abck on an easy boy leather chair, as Zeke sits, cross legged on the floor, with a board in front of him, piled high with a green, herby substance, many rolling papers and a modest pile of rolled delicacies. As ‘Peace’ puts the finishing touches onto yet another pre-rolled he looks up towards Travis as he speaks...]
Travis – ‘Randy Boolzian...has a lot to answer for. You know that self-pitying, backwater ingrate still has not reimbursed Travis Roberts for his sink... the sink he senselessly defaced...the man has no principles. When ‘The Headliner’ saw him come through that door during Sentinel, for a moment he assumed ‘BoolZ’ was coming to pay him back...instead he fractured various bones in my hand! Not only can ‘The Headliner’ no longer sanitise ‘The TWiSTeD Cutlery’, but he cannot go to a place where it does not matter....unfortunately for Randy, that can only be bad news for him...’
Zeke – ‘Yeah man...I hear ya...I hear ya...what did ya make of his words at Sentinel?’
Travis – ‘Travis Roberts hasn’t got round to watching that yet...you know how ya have to be in the mood to watch the retards that try and sing Mariah Carey songs on ‘American Idol’ in the early rounds...you know how ya have to want to watch another human being humiliated in front of millions...’cause if you’re not in the mood...well...it’s just painful...’
Zeke – ‘Yeaaaah maaan! I remember this one dude...’
Travis – ‘Well that’s what it’s like for ‘The Most influential Icon in Sports Entertainment this Millennia’ when Randy picks up a microphone. Travis Roberts just has to be in the mood to watch a man repeatedly place both feet in his mouth, rapidly in front of an arena full of simpletons, baying for his humiliation. And if ‘The Headliner’ happens to be unable to avoid Randy Boolzian searching randomly for some kind of point, he merely zones out, confident in the knowledge that someone will have caught the pitiful act on camera...’
Zeke – ‘But he is[/b] pretty sweet in the ring, he’s never been pinned, but it’s just a matter of time, and who better than ‘T-Rob Light’ to do it huh? You think I have what it takes man?’[/color]
[Travis has been happily inhaling away on a pre-rolled as Zeke has voiced his views on Randy. Travis realises that Zeke has asked a question, and is awaiting a response, and just dives into his next diatribe, without glancing towards the man who would be his protégé, if only he was given the chance]
Travis – ‘Travis Roberts is pretty sure ‘Diamond’ Jack is gonna think the fact ‘the Headliner’ is minus one hand, it might make his chances a little easier. This is an individual who considers the likes of Alex Kiseragi to be stiff competition. He’s even living with that nipple thrusting janitor, what chance is there that his brains nerve endings are actually firing up correctly?
C’mon, a guy who seems to be distraught about the loss of a woman, who if memory serves ‘The Blessed One’ correctly, actually used to have conversations with Chris Austin. Any woman who was happy to be seen on camera with that donkey fisting reprobate, without having to take a bath in disinfectant directly afterwards, is not the kind of girl ya wanna settle down with...unless of course a different type of horseplay is what your after...
But Travis Roberts cannot feel sympathy for Severino, for he is a lucky man. His foul wench is willing to leave him alone, whereas ‘The Headliner’ cannot get rid of the biggest mistake of his life. Maybe Travis Roberts should warn ‘Diamond’ Jack, because ‘The Blessed One’ recognises many of the traits of Mary-Joanna in Gabby, the inflated self-importance, the ability to manipulate weak men like Jack, BoolZ and Hanson to their will. These women...are poisonous, once they decide they want your soul...they take it...and they...wring it in their bare hands...’Diamond’ Jack wouldn’t listen though, even if ‘The TWiSTeD Icon’ gave him the benefit of Travis Roberts incredible experience, he’s too far gone. She is well and truly in his mind, ever since she became more successful than him, all the time she has held that Women’s Title and his only achievement is beating a glorified childrens party at Horizons...all that time she has captured him, she has taken ‘Diamond’ Jack Severino, she has played with him until he broke, and now she will discard him...just until the moment he can be of use again....’
[The Headliner is speaking much slower than before, he seems to be enjoying his latest smoke. If we could see behind those Aviator glasses, his eyes, would most certainly be bloodshot and dialated...]
Zeke – ‘Dude...I told you this shit was good...’
Travis – ‘’The Headliner’ is in the mood to see someone humiliate themselves epically...you got last weekends Sentinel?’
Zeke – ‘Sure...just press the TiVo button on the remote and search down the listings...here, catch...’
[Zeke throws the remote for the TV towards Travis, whose good hand is currently holding a spliff. Travis face loosens up, as a brief panic crosses his face, as the remote control flies in slowmotion towards his janglies...
But then the remote control, somehow morphs into a microphone spinning through the air towards ‘The Blessed One’ who is now, once again standing, gripping the podium with his good hand, as the microphone flies towards his right. With unusually quick reflexes for a man of his well publicised habits ‘The Headliner’ releases his grip and catches the microphone with a little flourish. He smiles a cocky grin towards Randy Boolzian who can be now seen walking into the distance, without even a look over his shoulder. Travis then raises the microphone to his lips.]
Travis – ‘Now before that walking STI so rudely interrupted ‘The Bless..’
[The microphone cuts out, and Travis just hangs his head in defeat, and mutters to himself]
Travis – ‘Shit.’
[The Darkness floods back in, the drip has intensified, and drops in its own irritatingly inconsistent rhythm. And through the absence of light, a cacophony of lunacy can be heard, just outside the walls]
‘SNARPLE DJKLARP...FRIIIIGIIIITAY’
‘YAR...FEEL DEE BURN!’
‘Rabbits and ginger....The Joka is a Ninja!....And he's coming...for YOOOOOHOOOO!’
‘You awake?’
