Post by T-Robosaurus Rex on Jul 22, 2009 19:14:13 GMT -5
[The scene opens and we instantly join Travis Roberts and his adolescent agent Tate Levene strolling and rolling respectively backstage in the GIW Arena, Los Angeles. ‘The Headliner’ is decked out in his traditional clothing, jeans, leather jacket and Monster Magnet ‘4 Way Diablo’ tour T-Shirt, trademark aviators obscuring his undoubtedly red eyes, and the GIW Unified Global Championship sitting comfortably on his left shoulders.
Tate on the other hand is garbed in what looks like a black wedding dress that has been customised with drawing pins and various random slashes, in an attempt to make the wearer seem darker and more affected than those around him. His face plastered in white and black makeup, and as ever his hands are filled with food, this week it happens to be a huge bag of Goldfish crackers. As usual he is perched upon a skateboard, wobbling from side to side as he attempts to keep balance and avoid the inevitable spill that is no doubt approaching with every passing second.
Suddenly, without warning Travis stops abruptly, and moves no further, face fixed and focused straight ahead. This unannounced ceasing of movement from ‘The Blessed One’ catches the Skater off guard, and he rolls on past the ‘TWiSTeD Guerrilla’ down the hallway, until he notices his employer has come to a halt, and this is where the mistake was made. When the realisation overcame round Tate his first reaction was to turn his head back to see what has happened, in doing so he completely loses his bearings and balance culminating in the inevitable crash.
It is at this moment that we see what made ‘The Headliner’ stop in his tracks, as Tate lies face first on the floor, standing to his side, wearing a tight black trouser suit, is none other than GIW’s own ‘TWiSTeD Matriarch’ and Travis’ estranged wife, Mary-Joanna Roberts. She looks down at Tate and can’t help but giggle as she returns her eyes to Travis, who remains unmoved staring directly at MJ.
For a moment an awkward silence descends on the backstage area, but is quickly broken by the sound of muffled screaming coming from beneath Tate. On closer inspection Tate is not, in fact, laying face first on the floor, the two yellow furry arms protruding out from beneath this teenagers impossibly large frame suggest he is in fact laying on top of Mary-Joanna’s agent, eD cASe. Tate climbs to his feet and leans against the far wall to catch his breath after exerting the energy to drag his body vertical once more.
eD follows, getting to his feet slowly, and looking a lot flatter than before, he quickly looks at Tate, and then at Travis, and it is eD that breaks the silence with the first sentence]
eD – ‘Twice! Twice in the space of a month! If I got any enjoyment from laying underneath the heaving, sweaty frame of an obese man I’d give Komosube a call...’
[It’s clear that eD is speaking to no-one in particular, but both Travis and MJ look at him as he straightens his suit out. Mary-Jo is the first to speak]
Mary-Joanna – ‘Oh do stop complaining eDison, you’ve been in this industry long enough to know that once in a while you’ll end up beneath some of the workers...’
Travis – ‘In that field you should listen to her eD, she’s got more experience than most, trust me...’
Mary-Joanna – ‘Does the ‘TWiSTeD Heiress’ sense bitterness in your tone Travis? Surely not, surely you haven’t only just started to feel ill will towards MJ’s little fling with the Red Bull Icon? That would just be ridiculous, after you won your little war, why would you suddenly feel enraged? After spending MJ’s entire relationship with Randy obsessing over a sink, turning your attention in that direction now would be the move of the feebly minded,’
[Travis laughs out loud, exaggerating his amusement greatly to ensure his soon to be ex-wife gets the point he is making across]
Travis – ‘Sorry...’The Headliner’ finds it highly amusing, you speak as though ‘The Headliner’ is referring to a one off incident, to Travis Roberts recollection you spent your time covered in the sweating masses of other men more than...once in a while...’
[Mary-Joanna feigns looking offended, and then shoots a pouting smile in Travis’ direction, before responding...]
Mary-Jo – ‘So, MJ hears you’ve been seeing a shrink, not a moment too soon if you ask the ‘TWiSteD Princess’, if you’d have taken that route a few years ago, maybe, you could have saved our marriage...’
Travis – ‘And folks say being late is a bad thing...nonetheless how the hell do you know about that?’
Mary-Jo – ‘MJ is psychic...didn’t you know? Don’t be dense Travis, do you have any idea why your lawyer wanted you to go there? Remember you spent some time in a jail cell not so long ago, so close to our divorce hearings. Did you think that would look good on you? So your law3yer had to speak to mine about the fact she may be bringing in a testimony from a psychiatrist...’
[As Travis and Mary-Jo go into more depth in their frankly, boring, conversation regarding their divorce, our attention focuses itself on their companions. Tate shuffles over to eD’s side and taps him on the shoulder, eD takes a step to the side and gives him a quizzical look. Tate smiles, which looks remarkably strange on an obese child wearing gothic makeup and a customised wedding dress, and offers his bag of goldfish crackers in eD’s direction. eD cautiously takes one and tate speaks.]
Tate – ‘So bro, you’re the guy that did my job before me. I hear you did an awesome job, and were the driving force behind Travis’ initial successes, that’s gnarly dude!’
[eD almost spits out his mouthful of crackers, but remembers himself in time, and quickly swallows so that he can respond.]
eD – ‘Really? Does he talk about me much? Always knew deep down he appreciated all the work I did for him...what else did he say?’
[eD looks at Tate hopefully, and then at Travis who is full flow into yet another enraged rant, then back to the chubby little funster with wide optimistic eyes.]
Tate – ‘Nah dude! The big man rarely speaks about you, and when he does it’s generally negative...he really dislikes you, yo! I mean, the dude isn’t the most charitable when speaking about anyone, but he reserves a special venom for when he speaks of you...’
[eD’s head drops considerable and he lowers eyes to the floor, attempting to obscure the tars that are forming from the ever-eating extreme sports wannabe. Tate though realises his honesty has hurt the furry yellow muppet and speaks quickly to reassure him]
Tate – ‘But you are big on the net...I know spam is also big on the net....viagra....bestiality....but your big in a good way. Over at the GIW fan nation the message boards are filled with your fans. That’s where I heard this stuff, there are literally...dozens....of people singing your praises...’
[eD raises his head once more, still holding back his emotions, but looking a little more optimistic.]
eD – ‘Really?...Dozens?...’
Tate – ‘Sure bro, you’re dope online! And to be honest, I could do with some advice, I mean how did you deal with him...his mood swings...forever speaking of himself in the third person...the obsession with Monster Magnet....his fixating on stupid things...seriously you earned my respect dude, I’ve been doing it for a couple of weeks....’
eD – ‘Honestly it wasn’t that bad, we had some good times, you just need to appreciate the kind of person Travis is. You have to read between the lines, he’ll never tell you the important stuff, he’ll never admit to how he really feels...you just gotta read the signals...don’t worry you’ll get the hang of it.
As for the unreasonable requests, they’re just part of the territory, he’s had me go to Alaska to purchase his favourite cheese, had me dress as a child and sit in a wheelchair to avoid queuing at a theme park, used me to unblock the chimneys at the mansion, insisted I read an inflammatory statement on his behalf at a White Supremacist rally, and that was all in the space of one week. Usually he’s got good reasons, sometimes they’re selfish, although I think he just did that last one for shits and giggles...that was a tight scrape I’ll tell you...’
[Tate has slowly stopped munching as eD reeled off his list of unreasonable requests, and his mouth lies wide open...]
Tate – ‘Woah! Dude!...By unreasonable I meant three food breaks a day and expecting me to climb stairs...generally I just make phone calls and sort mail...’
eD – ‘Oh...’
Tate – ‘Don’t worry dude, it’s probably that he just trusted you more, he’s only known me a couple of weeks...but he did say I made the best cheese and ham toasties he’s ever tasted...’
eD – ‘Yeah that’s right he trusted me more...wait...but...he used to love my toasties...’
[As eD’s face drops to the floor yet again, our attention is ripped brutally away from the two agents, and back towards Travis and MJ, as ‘The Blessed One’ raises his voice in exception to something Mary-Jo has just said]
Travis – ‘WHAT!?!? Say that again, ‘The Blessed One’ cannot of heard what he thinks he heard utter from your lips, of all the ridiculous things that overgrown duck has done, this is not possible...’
[Mary-Joanna rolls her eyes in frustration at the display the GIW Unified Global Champion is putting on]
Mary-Jo – ‘You didn’t mishear Travis, you heard the ‘TWiSTeD Athena’ correctly, Mary-Jo has got herself gainful employment in GIW...’
Travis – ‘Using your special talents to keep locker room morale high? Pleasuring visiting dignitaries? Generally whoring your body out as usual? If you are good at something, like degrading yourself on a daily basis, why not get paid for it huh?’
Mary-Jo – ‘Not that it’s any of your business Travis, but MJ is now GIW’s Head of Talent and Corporate Satisfaction...’
Travis – ‘What did Travis say? Look it doesn’t matter how many words you use to dress it up, the fact remains your GIW’s resident seamstress from this day forth...and frankly ‘The Headliner’ has no further need for your abilities...Tubby Kid, get on those wheels, ‘The Blessed One’ is going to see that deranged duck.’
[With that ‘The Headliner’ strides past Mary-Jo and down the corridor, Tate turns to eD and makes his farewell before jumping onto his skateboard and wobbling off after ‘The Blessed One’. eD’s gaze follows Travis as he moves further into the Horizon. Mj looks down at him and speaks]
Mary-Jo – ‘Pull yourself together eDison, how many times does MJ have to explain to you why we’re better off without him. One day Travis is gonna wake up and see the reality he has built for himself, and trust me it’s not going to be a pretty day.’
[The scene now switches to the sub zero temperatures of Boss Penguins office. He is sat behind his desk, his little webbed feet stretched out and he lies back with a cigar in his beak, and a Playstation 3 controller in his flippers. On the plasma screen that adorns the wall all we can see a gentleman wielding a rocket launcher and bodies flying across the screen]
Boss P - ’DAT’S WAD I’M TALKING ‘BOUT BITCHES, YOU BEST RESPEC’ DAT SHIAT!’
[Suddenly the door to the office swings open and ‘The Most Influential Icon in Sports Entertainment’ marches in followed by Tate, who has got off his feet for a change. Boss P turns to face them and drops the controller and cigar (which he quickly recovers) at the sight of Tate]
Boss P – ’BITCH, DAT OOMPA LUMPA IS LOOKING MAD PASTY, AND I THINK YA MAY BE OVERFEEDING DA NIGLET, UNLESS OF COURSE DA BITCH IS A RHINO...’
Travis – ‘Astute observation...’The Blessed One’ can see he’s not interrupting anything important...’
Boss P – SHIAT NO BIATCH, ‘DIS SHIT AIN’T NUTTING LIKE DA REAL HOOD, YA HEAR? WHAT’S YO GANGLY ASS DOIN’ IN MA OFFICE ANYWAY? PINING FOR DECLAN? WONDER WHETHER THAT NIGGA LEFT HIS CHAIR ROUND DIS PLACE SOMEWHERE SO YA COULD SNIFF AT IT? SHIAT MAN, YO ARE ONE FREAKY NIGLET I’LL GIVE YA THAT!
Travis – ‘You just better remember who the biggest draw for this company is when you open that beak of yours. You think ‘The Headliner’ has any respect for your views, let alone your authority? If so your sorely mistaken, as far as ‘The Blessed One’ is concerned you are a nuisance at best, and you are just a temporary one at that, Declan will return and take his rightful place at the head of this company.’
Boss P – WASSUP BIATCH? STILL SINGING THE SAME TUNE, I HEARD YO ASS WAS CREATIVE, SO WASSUP? YO GANGLY ASS DIDN’T STROLL IN DIS ROOM TO TELL ME WHAT I ALREADY KNOW...
Travis – ‘Travis just wanted to let you know, all your mind games, all your little tricks, they won’t work with ‘The Headliner’ you can try to get in his head all you want, but it ain’t gonna happen...’
Boss P – ’SHIT NIGGA, YOU SEEIN’ SHIT THAT AIN’T THERE. I AIN’T GOT NO CLUE WHAT YO TALKING ABOUT!’
Travis – ‘So you didn’t just employ that succubus that is ‘The Blessed Ones’ wife then?’
Boss P – ’DAT SHIAT? FUCK NIGLET, YO GOTTA BE KIDDING....YO OF ALL PEOPLE SHOULD KNOW THE SKILLS SHE BRINGS TO DAT ROLE...SHE GONNA MAKE US ALL RICH BOY, YA HEAR? THINK OF ALL THE SPONSORS SHE CAN ATTRACT, ONE NIGHT’S ‘HOSPITALITY’ WITH YO SOON TO BE EX-BIATCH WILL MAKE ANYONE SIGN ON THE DOTTED LINE...WHAT’S YO ASS DOIN’ WONDERING ABOUT DIS SHIT ANYWAY, YO GOT A MAIN EVENT TO PREPARE FOR. BOSS P HAS LISTENED TO YO PARANOID RANTINGS FOR LONG ENOUGH, NOW KINDLY...GET DA FUCK OUT!’
[To emphasise his point Boss Penguin raises the neck of an AK-47 over the top of the desk in the direction of the Unified Global Champion, who takes the hint and makes his way from the room. We rejoin Travis and Tate outside Boss P’s office, strolling towards the exit...]
Travis – ‘Where does he get his guns?’
Tate – ‘That’s the part you choose to focus on. But dude, he did have a point...’
Travis – ‘That oily bastard has never had anything worthwhile to say in his life...’
Tate – ‘Well, shouldn’t you be spending more time focusing on your opponent? I mean, you didn’t have a match last week, the kid your fighting this week nearly beat you last time...’
Travis – ‘Wait, ‘The Blessed One’ has been in the ring with him before?’
Tate – ‘Yeah, it’s Marek Daisuke, ya know Zeke’s tag partner?’
Travis – ‘The monosyllabic acrobat?’
Tate – ‘Yeah that dude, whatever that means, BoolZ got him DQ-ed by attacking you...’
Travis – ‘You are absolutely sure we’ve faced each other before?’
Tate – ‘it was only a couple of weeks before Infinity. Marek was gaining the advantage when BoolZ got involved, handing you the win by DQ...you might want to ensure you plan better this time...’
Travis – ‘Once again you prove your naivety in this business, there’s no way that if ‘The Blessed One’ has indeed faced the circus kid with the vocabulary of a caveman, that the weaker half of War & Peace would ever have gained the advantage...it was probably the TRLAOCIAFSOS...’
Tate – ‘Trust me man, the dude nearly had you, and he’s quick!’
Travis – ‘A horse with no legs is quick from your perspective. And even if your right in what you say, and ‘The Headliner’ has faced Marek before, and come close to losing....what makes you think Marek is gonna get that chance in his life ever again? Like A-Kis will find out at Affirmative Action, relying on luck is a risky tactic when entering the ring with ‘The Blessed One’. ‘The Dragon’ has surely realised his luck has run out, if not he’ll have a nasty surprise when his trip to Washington goes awry.
As for Zeke’s partner, the dudes quick you say? It’s funny how one person can be so speedy physically, but mentally so goddamn slow. ‘The Blessed One’ hears he’s been pleading with Zeke to be more focused, what like Marek? A dude who gets fixated on the slightest little things? Shit, this guy actually hates me because ‘Travis Roberts stole his best friend!’ That’s the kind of crap Travis expects from dudes your age.
And this indignation at Zeke’s friendship with ‘The Headliner’ is laughable considering Mareks affinity towards Alex Kiseragi, a man he refers to as his friend? The very same Alex Kiseragi who showed all the signs of honour and integrity that Marek holds so dear when he jumped an already prone ‘Blessed One’ from behind to steal the Unified Global Championship from its rightful owner? It’s hard to take anyone so hypocritical seriously. ‘The Human Rocket’ criticises ‘The Headliner’ for his past tactics, yet seemingly endorses ‘The Dragon’ for choosing the way of the coward?
But you see, this is why ‘The Headliner’ doesn’t waste time worrying about matches against the like of Marek, it’s just too mind bogglingly retarded, and ‘The Blessed One’ has far better things to do with his time, Travis will continue to train every day, but their will be no special ‘Marek Daisuke Regime’, the dude just isn’t important enough. No offence to yourself, but he’s just a kid, full of anger and enraged by perceived injustice, his hormones are flying wild, his sisters not around so he’s undoubtedly sexually frustrated, why would Travis Roberts, or anyone in their right mind, think anything someone like that had to say was worth any consideration?
‘The Blessed One’ will have to spend a portion of his night on Sunday focusing on Marek, that’s more than enough for Travis Roberts...’
[At this point Travis is interrupted by the ringing of his cell phone. He reaches into the pocket, quickly checks the caller ID, and then takes the call, as Tate takes the opportunity to open yet another bag of Goldfish Cracker’s he has pulled from some unknown region of his body.]
Travis – ‘Craig!....Good to hear from you...How’s Japan....Really?...Uh Huh?...Big in the orient?....Yuh Huh?....Tell ‘The Headliner’ more...’
[On this note the scene fades into black, and our viewing ends.]
Tate on the other hand is garbed in what looks like a black wedding dress that has been customised with drawing pins and various random slashes, in an attempt to make the wearer seem darker and more affected than those around him. His face plastered in white and black makeup, and as ever his hands are filled with food, this week it happens to be a huge bag of Goldfish crackers. As usual he is perched upon a skateboard, wobbling from side to side as he attempts to keep balance and avoid the inevitable spill that is no doubt approaching with every passing second.
Suddenly, without warning Travis stops abruptly, and moves no further, face fixed and focused straight ahead. This unannounced ceasing of movement from ‘The Blessed One’ catches the Skater off guard, and he rolls on past the ‘TWiSTeD Guerrilla’ down the hallway, until he notices his employer has come to a halt, and this is where the mistake was made. When the realisation overcame round Tate his first reaction was to turn his head back to see what has happened, in doing so he completely loses his bearings and balance culminating in the inevitable crash.
It is at this moment that we see what made ‘The Headliner’ stop in his tracks, as Tate lies face first on the floor, standing to his side, wearing a tight black trouser suit, is none other than GIW’s own ‘TWiSTeD Matriarch’ and Travis’ estranged wife, Mary-Joanna Roberts. She looks down at Tate and can’t help but giggle as she returns her eyes to Travis, who remains unmoved staring directly at MJ.
For a moment an awkward silence descends on the backstage area, but is quickly broken by the sound of muffled screaming coming from beneath Tate. On closer inspection Tate is not, in fact, laying face first on the floor, the two yellow furry arms protruding out from beneath this teenagers impossibly large frame suggest he is in fact laying on top of Mary-Joanna’s agent, eD cASe. Tate climbs to his feet and leans against the far wall to catch his breath after exerting the energy to drag his body vertical once more.
eD follows, getting to his feet slowly, and looking a lot flatter than before, he quickly looks at Tate, and then at Travis, and it is eD that breaks the silence with the first sentence]
eD – ‘Twice! Twice in the space of a month! If I got any enjoyment from laying underneath the heaving, sweaty frame of an obese man I’d give Komosube a call...’
[It’s clear that eD is speaking to no-one in particular, but both Travis and MJ look at him as he straightens his suit out. Mary-Jo is the first to speak]
Mary-Joanna – ‘Oh do stop complaining eDison, you’ve been in this industry long enough to know that once in a while you’ll end up beneath some of the workers...’
Travis – ‘In that field you should listen to her eD, she’s got more experience than most, trust me...’
Mary-Joanna – ‘Does the ‘TWiSTeD Heiress’ sense bitterness in your tone Travis? Surely not, surely you haven’t only just started to feel ill will towards MJ’s little fling with the Red Bull Icon? That would just be ridiculous, after you won your little war, why would you suddenly feel enraged? After spending MJ’s entire relationship with Randy obsessing over a sink, turning your attention in that direction now would be the move of the feebly minded,’
[Travis laughs out loud, exaggerating his amusement greatly to ensure his soon to be ex-wife gets the point he is making across]
Travis – ‘Sorry...’The Headliner’ finds it highly amusing, you speak as though ‘The Headliner’ is referring to a one off incident, to Travis Roberts recollection you spent your time covered in the sweating masses of other men more than...once in a while...’
[Mary-Joanna feigns looking offended, and then shoots a pouting smile in Travis’ direction, before responding...]
Mary-Jo – ‘So, MJ hears you’ve been seeing a shrink, not a moment too soon if you ask the ‘TWiSteD Princess’, if you’d have taken that route a few years ago, maybe, you could have saved our marriage...’
Travis – ‘And folks say being late is a bad thing...nonetheless how the hell do you know about that?’
Mary-Jo – ‘MJ is psychic...didn’t you know? Don’t be dense Travis, do you have any idea why your lawyer wanted you to go there? Remember you spent some time in a jail cell not so long ago, so close to our divorce hearings. Did you think that would look good on you? So your law3yer had to speak to mine about the fact she may be bringing in a testimony from a psychiatrist...’
[As Travis and Mary-Jo go into more depth in their frankly, boring, conversation regarding their divorce, our attention focuses itself on their companions. Tate shuffles over to eD’s side and taps him on the shoulder, eD takes a step to the side and gives him a quizzical look. Tate smiles, which looks remarkably strange on an obese child wearing gothic makeup and a customised wedding dress, and offers his bag of goldfish crackers in eD’s direction. eD cautiously takes one and tate speaks.]
Tate – ‘So bro, you’re the guy that did my job before me. I hear you did an awesome job, and were the driving force behind Travis’ initial successes, that’s gnarly dude!’
[eD almost spits out his mouthful of crackers, but remembers himself in time, and quickly swallows so that he can respond.]
eD – ‘Really? Does he talk about me much? Always knew deep down he appreciated all the work I did for him...what else did he say?’
[eD looks at Tate hopefully, and then at Travis who is full flow into yet another enraged rant, then back to the chubby little funster with wide optimistic eyes.]
Tate – ‘Nah dude! The big man rarely speaks about you, and when he does it’s generally negative...he really dislikes you, yo! I mean, the dude isn’t the most charitable when speaking about anyone, but he reserves a special venom for when he speaks of you...’
[eD’s head drops considerable and he lowers eyes to the floor, attempting to obscure the tars that are forming from the ever-eating extreme sports wannabe. Tate though realises his honesty has hurt the furry yellow muppet and speaks quickly to reassure him]
Tate – ‘But you are big on the net...I know spam is also big on the net....viagra....bestiality....but your big in a good way. Over at the GIW fan nation the message boards are filled with your fans. That’s where I heard this stuff, there are literally...dozens....of people singing your praises...’
[eD raises his head once more, still holding back his emotions, but looking a little more optimistic.]
eD – ‘Really?...Dozens?...’
Tate – ‘Sure bro, you’re dope online! And to be honest, I could do with some advice, I mean how did you deal with him...his mood swings...forever speaking of himself in the third person...the obsession with Monster Magnet....his fixating on stupid things...seriously you earned my respect dude, I’ve been doing it for a couple of weeks....’
eD – ‘Honestly it wasn’t that bad, we had some good times, you just need to appreciate the kind of person Travis is. You have to read between the lines, he’ll never tell you the important stuff, he’ll never admit to how he really feels...you just gotta read the signals...don’t worry you’ll get the hang of it.
As for the unreasonable requests, they’re just part of the territory, he’s had me go to Alaska to purchase his favourite cheese, had me dress as a child and sit in a wheelchair to avoid queuing at a theme park, used me to unblock the chimneys at the mansion, insisted I read an inflammatory statement on his behalf at a White Supremacist rally, and that was all in the space of one week. Usually he’s got good reasons, sometimes they’re selfish, although I think he just did that last one for shits and giggles...that was a tight scrape I’ll tell you...’
[Tate has slowly stopped munching as eD reeled off his list of unreasonable requests, and his mouth lies wide open...]
Tate – ‘Woah! Dude!...By unreasonable I meant three food breaks a day and expecting me to climb stairs...generally I just make phone calls and sort mail...’
eD – ‘Oh...’
Tate – ‘Don’t worry dude, it’s probably that he just trusted you more, he’s only known me a couple of weeks...but he did say I made the best cheese and ham toasties he’s ever tasted...’
eD – ‘Yeah that’s right he trusted me more...wait...but...he used to love my toasties...’
[As eD’s face drops to the floor yet again, our attention is ripped brutally away from the two agents, and back towards Travis and MJ, as ‘The Blessed One’ raises his voice in exception to something Mary-Jo has just said]
Travis – ‘WHAT!?!? Say that again, ‘The Blessed One’ cannot of heard what he thinks he heard utter from your lips, of all the ridiculous things that overgrown duck has done, this is not possible...’
[Mary-Joanna rolls her eyes in frustration at the display the GIW Unified Global Champion is putting on]
Mary-Jo – ‘You didn’t mishear Travis, you heard the ‘TWiSTeD Athena’ correctly, Mary-Jo has got herself gainful employment in GIW...’
Travis – ‘Using your special talents to keep locker room morale high? Pleasuring visiting dignitaries? Generally whoring your body out as usual? If you are good at something, like degrading yourself on a daily basis, why not get paid for it huh?’
Mary-Jo – ‘Not that it’s any of your business Travis, but MJ is now GIW’s Head of Talent and Corporate Satisfaction...’
Travis – ‘What did Travis say? Look it doesn’t matter how many words you use to dress it up, the fact remains your GIW’s resident seamstress from this day forth...and frankly ‘The Headliner’ has no further need for your abilities...Tubby Kid, get on those wheels, ‘The Blessed One’ is going to see that deranged duck.’
[With that ‘The Headliner’ strides past Mary-Jo and down the corridor, Tate turns to eD and makes his farewell before jumping onto his skateboard and wobbling off after ‘The Blessed One’. eD’s gaze follows Travis as he moves further into the Horizon. Mj looks down at him and speaks]
Mary-Jo – ‘Pull yourself together eDison, how many times does MJ have to explain to you why we’re better off without him. One day Travis is gonna wake up and see the reality he has built for himself, and trust me it’s not going to be a pretty day.’
[The scene now switches to the sub zero temperatures of Boss Penguins office. He is sat behind his desk, his little webbed feet stretched out and he lies back with a cigar in his beak, and a Playstation 3 controller in his flippers. On the plasma screen that adorns the wall all we can see a gentleman wielding a rocket launcher and bodies flying across the screen]
Boss P - ’DAT’S WAD I’M TALKING ‘BOUT BITCHES, YOU BEST RESPEC’ DAT SHIAT!’
[Suddenly the door to the office swings open and ‘The Most Influential Icon in Sports Entertainment’ marches in followed by Tate, who has got off his feet for a change. Boss P turns to face them and drops the controller and cigar (which he quickly recovers) at the sight of Tate]
Boss P – ’BITCH, DAT OOMPA LUMPA IS LOOKING MAD PASTY, AND I THINK YA MAY BE OVERFEEDING DA NIGLET, UNLESS OF COURSE DA BITCH IS A RHINO...’
Travis – ‘Astute observation...’The Blessed One’ can see he’s not interrupting anything important...’
Boss P – SHIAT NO BIATCH, ‘DIS SHIT AIN’T NUTTING LIKE DA REAL HOOD, YA HEAR? WHAT’S YO GANGLY ASS DOIN’ IN MA OFFICE ANYWAY? PINING FOR DECLAN? WONDER WHETHER THAT NIGGA LEFT HIS CHAIR ROUND DIS PLACE SOMEWHERE SO YA COULD SNIFF AT IT? SHIAT MAN, YO ARE ONE FREAKY NIGLET I’LL GIVE YA THAT!
Travis – ‘You just better remember who the biggest draw for this company is when you open that beak of yours. You think ‘The Headliner’ has any respect for your views, let alone your authority? If so your sorely mistaken, as far as ‘The Blessed One’ is concerned you are a nuisance at best, and you are just a temporary one at that, Declan will return and take his rightful place at the head of this company.’
Boss P – WASSUP BIATCH? STILL SINGING THE SAME TUNE, I HEARD YO ASS WAS CREATIVE, SO WASSUP? YO GANGLY ASS DIDN’T STROLL IN DIS ROOM TO TELL ME WHAT I ALREADY KNOW...
Travis – ‘Travis just wanted to let you know, all your mind games, all your little tricks, they won’t work with ‘The Headliner’ you can try to get in his head all you want, but it ain’t gonna happen...’
Boss P – ’SHIT NIGGA, YOU SEEIN’ SHIT THAT AIN’T THERE. I AIN’T GOT NO CLUE WHAT YO TALKING ABOUT!’
Travis – ‘So you didn’t just employ that succubus that is ‘The Blessed Ones’ wife then?’
Boss P – ’DAT SHIAT? FUCK NIGLET, YO GOTTA BE KIDDING....YO OF ALL PEOPLE SHOULD KNOW THE SKILLS SHE BRINGS TO DAT ROLE...SHE GONNA MAKE US ALL RICH BOY, YA HEAR? THINK OF ALL THE SPONSORS SHE CAN ATTRACT, ONE NIGHT’S ‘HOSPITALITY’ WITH YO SOON TO BE EX-BIATCH WILL MAKE ANYONE SIGN ON THE DOTTED LINE...WHAT’S YO ASS DOIN’ WONDERING ABOUT DIS SHIT ANYWAY, YO GOT A MAIN EVENT TO PREPARE FOR. BOSS P HAS LISTENED TO YO PARANOID RANTINGS FOR LONG ENOUGH, NOW KINDLY...GET DA FUCK OUT!’
[To emphasise his point Boss Penguin raises the neck of an AK-47 over the top of the desk in the direction of the Unified Global Champion, who takes the hint and makes his way from the room. We rejoin Travis and Tate outside Boss P’s office, strolling towards the exit...]
Travis – ‘Where does he get his guns?’
Tate – ‘That’s the part you choose to focus on. But dude, he did have a point...’
Travis – ‘That oily bastard has never had anything worthwhile to say in his life...’
Tate – ‘Well, shouldn’t you be spending more time focusing on your opponent? I mean, you didn’t have a match last week, the kid your fighting this week nearly beat you last time...’
Travis – ‘Wait, ‘The Blessed One’ has been in the ring with him before?’
Tate – ‘Yeah, it’s Marek Daisuke, ya know Zeke’s tag partner?’
Travis – ‘The monosyllabic acrobat?’
Tate – ‘Yeah that dude, whatever that means, BoolZ got him DQ-ed by attacking you...’
Travis – ‘You are absolutely sure we’ve faced each other before?’
Tate – ‘it was only a couple of weeks before Infinity. Marek was gaining the advantage when BoolZ got involved, handing you the win by DQ...you might want to ensure you plan better this time...’
Travis – ‘Once again you prove your naivety in this business, there’s no way that if ‘The Blessed One’ has indeed faced the circus kid with the vocabulary of a caveman, that the weaker half of War & Peace would ever have gained the advantage...it was probably the TRLAOCIAFSOS...’
Tate – ‘Trust me man, the dude nearly had you, and he’s quick!’
Travis – ‘A horse with no legs is quick from your perspective. And even if your right in what you say, and ‘The Headliner’ has faced Marek before, and come close to losing....what makes you think Marek is gonna get that chance in his life ever again? Like A-Kis will find out at Affirmative Action, relying on luck is a risky tactic when entering the ring with ‘The Blessed One’. ‘The Dragon’ has surely realised his luck has run out, if not he’ll have a nasty surprise when his trip to Washington goes awry.
As for Zeke’s partner, the dudes quick you say? It’s funny how one person can be so speedy physically, but mentally so goddamn slow. ‘The Blessed One’ hears he’s been pleading with Zeke to be more focused, what like Marek? A dude who gets fixated on the slightest little things? Shit, this guy actually hates me because ‘Travis Roberts stole his best friend!’ That’s the kind of crap Travis expects from dudes your age.
And this indignation at Zeke’s friendship with ‘The Headliner’ is laughable considering Mareks affinity towards Alex Kiseragi, a man he refers to as his friend? The very same Alex Kiseragi who showed all the signs of honour and integrity that Marek holds so dear when he jumped an already prone ‘Blessed One’ from behind to steal the Unified Global Championship from its rightful owner? It’s hard to take anyone so hypocritical seriously. ‘The Human Rocket’ criticises ‘The Headliner’ for his past tactics, yet seemingly endorses ‘The Dragon’ for choosing the way of the coward?
But you see, this is why ‘The Headliner’ doesn’t waste time worrying about matches against the like of Marek, it’s just too mind bogglingly retarded, and ‘The Blessed One’ has far better things to do with his time, Travis will continue to train every day, but their will be no special ‘Marek Daisuke Regime’, the dude just isn’t important enough. No offence to yourself, but he’s just a kid, full of anger and enraged by perceived injustice, his hormones are flying wild, his sisters not around so he’s undoubtedly sexually frustrated, why would Travis Roberts, or anyone in their right mind, think anything someone like that had to say was worth any consideration?
‘The Blessed One’ will have to spend a portion of his night on Sunday focusing on Marek, that’s more than enough for Travis Roberts...’
[At this point Travis is interrupted by the ringing of his cell phone. He reaches into the pocket, quickly checks the caller ID, and then takes the call, as Tate takes the opportunity to open yet another bag of Goldfish Cracker’s he has pulled from some unknown region of his body.]
Travis – ‘Craig!....Good to hear from you...How’s Japan....Really?...Uh Huh?...Big in the orient?....Yuh Huh?....Tell ‘The Headliner’ more...’
[On this note the scene fades into black, and our viewing ends.]
