Sentinel 08/03/08

[T-Robosaurus Rex]

The screen opens on a wrestling ring full of intense looking warriors. The ring is littered, not only with ferocious wrestlers, but weapons, from a baseball bat to a steel chair, to a tool box, to an unmarked bag full of unknown contents. The camera then cuts to the announce booth, where Nicholas Vinegar, Daniel Hanson and an unknown third man, wearing only a bath robe, are seated.

Vinegar: Welcome to Sentinel, everybody! I'm Nicholas Vinegar, here with broadcast partner Daniel Hanson and we have a HARDCORE battle royal about to commence any second now!

Hanson: That's right, Nick! The competitors are already gathered in the ring and the intensity radiating from these men is incredible! There's a lot on the line, as the winner will be crowned the first ever GIW Hardcore Champion! And here to present the belt to the winner is a man who is truly hardcore, Vick Ace.

Ace: Great to be here, *******.

Vinegar: Urgh... Who are you, exactly?

Ace: Damn *****, you one **** sucking mother ****** **** with a bad case of **** face and ***** **** deep ******!

Hanson: !!!

Vinegar: Wow... I'm glad we're on a twenty second delay.

Ace: **** yo mama!

Vinegar: You *******! My mother is dead!

Ace: **** ***** you'd have to be a ******* *** ****** ****** ***** to stick your **** in that **** ******* ***** anyway!

Hanson: Woah! Cool it, guys! I told you this guy was hardcore, Nick. He's famous porn star, Vick Ace! He's the master of hardcore. Hand cuffs, whips, latex -

Vinegar: That's quite enough!

Ace: You forgot gimp suits, *****!

Vinegar: Why didn't Declan get a hardcore wrestler?!

Hanson: They all cost too much...

Ace: Well **** me and call me a *** *******!!

Vinegar: This is going to be a long night.

Ace: Everything is long when Da Ace is around!

Hanson: Let's hope that includes Nick's patience!

Vinegar: Well the bell rings and the hardcore battle royal has officially begun. There are thirteen competitors here and any of them could win, folks!

Hanson: Well, any of them, except Kane White, who just got tossed over the rope by Savage. Take that, baldy!

Ace: You know what I like to keep bald? My *** and ******* ****.

Hanson: Great...

Vinegar: All the competitors are sticking to the edges here, no one wanting to start the fight. The three Resistance members, Sean Jensen, Levi Witham and Chris Austin just rigidly pressed fists. This match is certainly going to test that already strained alliance.

Hanson: And now Savage has leaped into the centre of the ring. He's taking the proactive approach here and challenging someone to come and get some! I love this guy!

Vinegar: And it's Andy Savana who answers his challenge. Both men face-to-face in the middle of the ring. After that brutal ladder match at Infinity, there's certainly no love-loss between these men. Both men spring into action AND LAY A FIST EACH INTO AESC THE DARK!!!!

Hanson: And now things have exploded!

Ace: Heh.

Hanson: Shut it! Witham and Jensen are pummelling Deathman with fists, while Austin is working Clarks over with some stiff stomps in the corner! Garland has picked up that baseball bat and is staring menacingly around the ring! Aragato is standing as still as a statue! And in the thick of it all, Big B and Obese Tony have come face-to-face! This could be huge!!

Ace: Oh yeah.

Vinegar: The two behemoths are exchanging some heated words. One can only imagine what they're saying. BOTH MEN JUST CLUBBED CHRIS AUSTIN FROM BEHIND!!

Hanson: This may be the biggest alliance in GIW history!!

Ace: Just wait until I 'align' my ******** *** **** with Roxy's **** ****.

Vinegar: Enough already! Savana and Savage double whip Aesc to the ropes, but The Lord of Darkness counters and pulls both men into a HUGE double clothesline! But Robert Garland is on the attack with a baseball bat!! HE JUST CLUBBED AESC IN THE BACK OF THE SKULL! THE BIG MAN GOES DOWN TO THE MAT!!

Hanson: And Deathman has managed to overcome the assault from The Resistance. He takes Jensen down with a boot, as Garland disposes of Witham with a sick shot of his bat into Levi's back!

Ace: Nasty.

Hanson: What is with this guy?

Ace: A HUGE ****** ******** and a posse of ****.

Vinegar: Just do your best to ignore him, Daniel. Back in the ring, Deathman has taken the bat from Garland and swings wildly! Garland ducks and grabs a lead pipe on the mat on his way down. BANG! RIGHT INTO DEATHMAN’S CROTCH!

Hanson: That’ll keep even Lord Deathman down for a while. He is a man after all.

Ace: That reminds me of the time I stuck my ***** ****** ***** in this ***** ***** and then ***** ****** chocolate fudge ****** *****.

Hanson: My God...

Vinegar: Back to the match! Austin rolls out of the ring via the bottom rope, realising it was the only escape from the gigantic Obese and B. The mat have set their sights on Garland, who has taken up both the baseball bat and lead pipe in a wise move of self defence. He’s edging towards his giant sized opponents, ready to strike at any second.

Hanson: And the fatties are just as wary. None of these guys want to make the first move.

Vinegar: Big B bites the bullet and charges at Garland!! Garland side steps AND SANDWICHES B’S SKULL BETWEEN THE BAT AND THE PIPE!!! BIG B TASTES THE MAT!!!

Ace: That reminds me of the video I filmed with Cara back in ’04. We had these massive ***** and ***** -

Vinegar: NOT NOW DAMMIT! B’s distraction has given Obese the chance to grab Garland from behind! But Garland with a well positioned kick behind him, plants his foot right into Obese’s groin! The big man is down.

Hanson: BUT SAVAGE OUT OF NOWHERE LEVELS GARLAND WITH A TIGER V!!!!

Vinegar: GARLAND JUST GOT ANNIHILATED!!!

Hanson: And Savage is back to his feet, but Jensen smashes him in the back of the skull with a chair! What a cowardly move!!

Vinegar: Meanwhile Savana whips Witham to the ropes. Levi bounces back, as Andy swings for a clothesline! Witham ducks, Savana spins round to meet him and LDW TO ANDY SAVANA!!!! WITHAM OUT OF NOWHERE WITH THAT DEADLY MANOUVRE!!!

Hanson: But his celebration is short lived, as Aragato strikes him down with a roundhouse kick to the face! Witham just went tumbling under the bottom rope and out of the ring! That Aragato is dangerous!

Vinegar: No doubt about that. Levi is still in the match though. Now Obese and Big B are climbing back to their feet, as Jensen and Aragato lock up. Meanwhile Austin is back in the ring and both the fat men have spotted him. It seems they’re not quite done with The Next Great One!

Hanson: Austin has realised this and he looks terrified! I can’t blame him! He just slipped his hands down his tights and is feeling around! Damn Vick, what’d you say to him?!

Ace: That he should ******* the ******* and a ******* big ******* ***** *****! AHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Vinegar: !!!

Hanson: And now Austin pulls his hand out and he’s got... a condom?!?!

Ace: That ****** ruins it.

Vinegar: Obese and B don’t look impressed and I can’t say I am either.

Hanson: No, Nick. He’s shaking his head! That wasn’t what he was looking for. Now he sticks his hand down there again and this time pulls out a... COOKIE!!!!

Vinegar: Uh oh...

Hanson: It’s got chocolate chips and sprinkles!

Vinegar: Obese is mesmerised here. He places his hand on the cookie, but B grabs him by the wrist!! This is going to end brutally!!!

Hanson: And Austin can barely contain his laughter. He’s a genius!!

Vinegar: I have to agree. Brown ROARS like a MONSTER and grabs Obese by the throat!! And now one hand into Obese’s crotch! GORILLA PRESS BY B ONTO TONY!!! B JUST THREW OBESE STRAIGHT OVER THE TOP ROPE!!!! WHAT RAW, UNADULTERATED POWER!!!

Hanson: We have bigger concerns! B THREW OBESE RIGHT AT US!!!! HE’S COMING RIGHT FOR US!!!!!

Vinegar: RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The two announcers flee the booth, as Vick Ace stares on horrified, at the shadow engulfing the entire table.

Hanson: CRASH!!!!! OBESE TONY JUST LANDED DIRECTLY ON TOP OF VICK ACE!!!! HE’S A DEAD MAN!!!!!!

Vinegar: MY GOD, ARE YOU OKAY VICK?!?!?!?!?! SPEAK TO US!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ace: I think my doodle got crushed...

Hanson: ****.

Vinegar: Well folks, we'll do our best to call this match from here on out, but our announce table is in pieces now.

Hanson: I think Vick's career is, too.

Vinegar: Back in the ring, B is enjoying that cookie. He seems to have taken a shining to Austin now and is asking The Next Great One who he should attack. Austin replies by pointing a finger squarely on Savana.

Hanson: Smart move. Now Austin has gained an ally... even if it is Big B.

Vinegar: And Savana is pulling himself up by the ropes, after that vicious LDW. Big B grabs him by the throat! He lifts Andy for a gorilla press! This isn't good for Savana!

Hanson: I think it's great!

Vinegar: Andy is able to break free with some clubbing blows to B's elbow! He escapes back to the mat, BUT RIGHT INTO A REALITY BITES FROM JENSEN!!! SAVANA JUST GOT SUPER KICKED OVER THE TOP ROPE AND OUT OF THE MATCH!!!

Hanson: That's probably the greatest thing Jensen has ever done. Cya later, Andy! Ha!

Vinegar: Jensen's victory is short lived though, as Deathman scores WITH THE GRAVEYARD EFFECT!!! JENSEN JUST GOT DESTROYED!!!

Hanson: I've been waiting for Sean to get his for so long! Deathman rules!

Vinegar: And Aesc from behind Austin, takes The Next Great One down with a sledgehammer to the skull!! Now this is a face off between Aesc and Deathman!

Hanson: With Big B caught in the middle!!! This is going to end really badly for at least one of these guys!!!

Vinegar: Big B is edging out of the crossfire zone, but it's too late. The eyes of both Deathman and Aesc are set firmly on Big B Brown! DOUBLE CHOKE SLAM SENDS THE BIG MAN CRASHING INTO THE MAT!!!

Hanson: Aesc and Deathman working together?! That's a scary thought!

Vinegar: It doesn't last long though, as, with B out of the equation, both Aesc and Deathman lock up! It's the Creator of Ultra Violence against The Black Minister! What a show down!

Hanson: Aesc gains the advantage with a knee into Deathman's ribs! He whips The Creator of Ultra Violence to the ropes and grabs that sledgehammer, as Deathman comes charging back!

Vinegar: Aesc swings, but Deathman ducks the shot!!! He scores with a fist to the face, causing Aesc to drop the hammer! BUT DEATHMAN CATCHES IT ON THE WAY DOWN! BANG! STRAIGHT INTO AESC'S MIDSECTION!!!

Hanson: The Black Minister keels over, but Deathman gives him no time to recover!

Vinegar: Deathman grabs Aesc by the arm and whips him straight over the top rope!!! Aesc has been eliminated!!! What incredible power by Deathman!!

Hanson: But now Matt Clarks is back to his feet. He hasn’t mounted any offence at all in this match. He runs at Deathman and none of that changes, as he’s sent to the mat after a clubbing big boot.

Vinegar: And now Deathman is grabbing that sack that’s been sitting in the ring this entire match. He’s emptying it onto the canvas - THUMB TACKS!!!! THOUSANDS OF THUMB TACKS POURING OUT OF THAT BAG!!!!

Hanson: And look at that sick smile on Deathman’s face! This guy is great!

Vinegar: Not if you’re Matt Clarks it’s not! He’s getting to his feet and Deathman grabs him by the throat!!! BUT ARAGATO OUT OF NOWHERE WITH THE OBSIDIAN SCOURGE!! DEATHMAN WAS JUST BLINDED BY THAT THICK, BLACK MIST!!![/b]

Hanson: Clarks look to capitalise on the distraction with a tornado DDT on Aragato! Mr. Deathmatch counters and levels Clarks ONTO THE TACKS with a massive spine buster!!! Too bad, kid!

Vinegar: WHAT A SICK SHOT ONTO MATT CLARKS!!! BUT SAVAGE LEVELS ARAGATO INTO THE TACKS WITH A TIGER V!!!!! MY GOD, WHAT SPEED BY SAVAGE!!!!

Hanson: two men just ate those thumb tacks! This is brutal! I love it!

Vinegar: I can’t say I feel the same! Now Savage is pulling Clarks up and looking to send him over the top rope. Clarks fights his way free with some harsh elbows straight into The Last Aryan’s face! He may be in extreme pain, but he won’t quit! Savage stumbles back AND CLARKS WITH HIS FINISHER!!!!

Hanson: ...

Vinegar: ...

Hanson: ...

Vinegar: ...

Hanson: He’s not doing anything...

Vinegar: My God, he’s just realised that he doesn’t have a finisher!!! Savage grins, knowing full well Clarks just wasted his only opportunity! SAVAGE WITH A CLOTHESLINE SENDS CLARKS FLYING OVER THE TOP ROPE AND OUT OF THIS MATCH!!!! Savage turns back to Aragato, who promptly throws a handful of tacks into the Brutal Enigma’s face!!

Hanson: Savage has been blinded! What an underhanded move!

Vinegar: Underhanded, but effective. Now Aragato takes Savage down with a stiff kick to the face and exits the ring. He’s obviously up to something here.

Hanson: But the action has picked up in the ring once more, as returns with a ladder!!!

Vinegar: Garland is Levi’s first target, who gets OBLITERATED by a swinging shot of that ladder!!! He goes bouncing right out of the ring!!!

Hanson: Tough luck, Rob. Maybe next time. Ha!

Vinegar: We’re down to seven men here, as Savage has climbs back to his knees. Witham raises the ladder over his head! He’s going to smash that thing right into The Last Aryan, but Savage scores with a low blow!! He takes the ladder from Witham AND SMASHES IT INTO LEVI’S FACE!!!

Hanson: And sends him crashing right into those tacks! Jeez, Savage is taking no names tonight!

Vinegar: But Aragato is back in the ring wearing that device packed with kendo sticks!!! This could be the 21 Deaths coming up!!

Hanson: Not ‘could be’, it is! Aragato blasts Savage with a barrage of kendo sticks to the skull!!! He’s so fast, I can’t even keep up!!

Vinegar: Savage drops the ladder and falls to his knees, as Aragato continues pummelling him with those cracking shots!!

Hanson: Oh no, Nick! He’s down to the last kendo stick! THE BIG MOMMA!!!

Vinegar: He raises it above his head and prepares to strike down the near unconscious Savage! BUT AUSTIN OUT OF NOWHERE LEAPS ONTO SAVAGE’S SHOULDERS, SPRINGS OFF AND BLASTS ARAGATO WITH A GIGANTIC DROPKICK!!! ARAGATO GOES HURTLING RIGHT OVER THE ROPE AND TO THE FLOOR!!!

Hanson: THAT WAS INCREDIBLE!! WHAT ATHLETICISM!!!

Vinegar: And now Austin is pushing Savage onto the top rope, clearly looking to eliminate him, while he’s weakened. A smart move by The Next Great One.

Hanson: Well Savage is Austin’s biggest competition in this match. Especially seeing as Deathman is still blinded.

Vinegar: You may be right, as Jensen and Big B come to help Austin clear the ring of Savage. Levi is still recovering from that vicious shot from the ladder, he took. But The Brutal Enigma has wrapped his arms and legs around the top rope and is refusing to budge! Even with three men, Savage is proving unmovable here.

Hanson: Four men really, if you include Big B for all he’s worth. But you’re incorrect, Nick. Savage is slowly slipping and it’s only a matter of time before he goes falling to the ground.

Vinegar: I see you’re correct, but Savage is still holding on with everything he has.

Hanson: ARGH!!!!!

[T-Robosaurus Rex]

Vinegar: OH MY GOD! WITHAM JUST WENT FLYING OVER THE ENTIRE GROUP AND CRASHING INTO THE SAFETY BARRIER!!!!

Hanson: THE KID COULD BE DEAD!!!

Vinegar: Austin, Jensen and B turn on the spot to see Deathman standing before them!!! He’s not blinded anymore and he looks ready to kill somebody!!!

Hanson: He just may have killed Witham!

Vinegar: Jensen, Austin and B charge at Deathman, as Savage falls limply to the mat! Deathman takes Jensen and Austin down with a double clothesline, but Big B smashes The Creator of Ultra Violence with a full body charge!!! Now everyone, other than Big B, have been laid out!

Hanson: I didn’t think that would ever happen...

Vinegar: But Deathman is already back up! He grabs B by the throat, BUT JENSEN AND AUSTIN LEVEL DEATHMAN WITH A CON-CHAIR-TO!!!! DEATHMAN JUST WENT CRASHING TO THE MAT!!

Hanson: Oh, but the worst has yet to come, Nick! BIG B IS PREPARING A BODY SPLASH!!!!

Vinegar: OH MY GOD NO!!!!!

Hanson: No, Austin is telling B not to do it! He must have realised that no one deserves that!

Vinegar: Not likely! AUSTIN IS SETTING UP THE LADDER!!!

Hanson: NO! HE WOULDN'T!!! HE COULDN'T!!!

Vinegar: Big B is ascending the ladder! Ladies and gentlemen, you may want to temporarily change channels! This is going to be horrific!!!

Hanson: Oh, Nick, this is terrible. Someone should stop this!

Vinegar: If you want to try, be my guest. Now B is beating his chest like a gorilla! HE'S PREPARING TO JUMP FROM THE TOP OF THAT LADDER!!!

Hanson: I CAN'T LOOK!!!

Vinegar: BUT DEATHMAN SITS UP!! HE GRABS THE LADDER AND TIPS IT OVER!!! BIG B JUST WENT CRASHING DOWN DIRECTLY ON TOP OF SEAN JENSEN!!!! HOLY CHRIST, THE KID MAY BE DEAD!!!!!

Hanson: AHAHAHAHA!!!! BRILLIANT!!!

Vinegar: NOT BRILLIANT! JENSEN WAS JUST CRUSHED!!! THAT'S LIKE HAVING A PIANO FALL ON YOU!!!

Hanson: Jensen had no problems when it was Deathman in the firing line. He got what he deserved!

Vinegar: I disagree, but regardless, Deathman has used this distraction to grab Chris Austin by the ankle and trip The Next Great One up. Austin falls on his back, as Deathman rises to his feet. He just picked up that sledgehammer and he's got only Austin in his sights!!!

Hanson: He smashes that weapon down, but Chris rolls to safety!! Deathman swings again, but Austin grabs the lead pipe and parries! What a manoeuvre!!

Vinegar: Austin scrambles back to his feet, barely avoiding another swing of that sledgehammer! Deathman swings again, but Austin leaps between the middle and top ropes, out of the ring! That sledgehammer bounces off the top rope and goes spinning out of Deathman's grip! It's coming this way!!!

Ace: I think I've finally recovered *******.

Hanson: BANG!!!!

Vinegar: THAT HAMMER JUST KNOCKED ACE CLEAN OUT!!!

Hanson: I'm not complaining!

Vinegar: Nor am I. Meanwhile, Deathman has followed Austin out of the ring, who is sliding back into the ring with a table!! He's setting the table up, as Deathman climbs onto the apron. BANG! Austin throws a steel chair full force into Deathman's skull to slow his progress!!

Hanson: Deathman hasn't been knocked from the apron, though. He's stil intent on destroying Chris Austin!

Vinegar: But the distraction has given The Next Great One time to set up that table right over the thumb tacks!!! Now he grabs Deathman AND IS LOOKING FOR A SUPLEX OVER THE ROPE AND THROUGH THE TABLE!!!!

Hanson: But Deathman counters! He's lifting Austin for a suplex of his own!! Chris is going to be eliminated!!!

Vinegar: BUT BIG B WITH THE BASEBALL BAT INTO DEATHMAN'S MIDSECTION!!! HE JUST SAVED CHRIS AUSTIN FROM CERTAIN DOOM!!!

Hanson: That cookie was a really great idea.

Vinegar: I have to agree, as B and Austin lift Deathman over the top rope into a gorilla press position!! FLAP JACK TO DEATHMAN RIGHT THROUGH THE TABLE AND ONTO THE THUMB TACKS!!! DEATHMAN JUST GOT DECIMATED!!!

Hanson: BRUTAL!!!

Vinegar: And now Austin and B are pulling the lifeless Deathman up. It's clear they're looking to eliminate him, as they drag him toward the edge of the ring!

Hanson: But Deathman counters out with some stiff elbows to both men! This guy really isn't human! What's it going to take to stop him?!

Vinegar: I have no idea, as The Creator of Ultra Violence blasts Chris Austin to the mat, with a SMASHING right hand! He follows up by clasping both hands around Big B's neck!! Final Destination?!

Hanson: Surely not even Deathman is that strong!!

Vinegar: We'll never know, as Austin comes flying back with the toolbox in hand! HE JUST SMASHED THAT THING OVER DEATHMAN'S SKULL!!!! THAT TIN BOX JUST SHATTERED AND SENT TOOLS FLYING EVERYWHERE!!!

Hanson: AND BIG B USED THE OPPORTUNITY TO GRAB DEATHMAN AND HURL HIM RIGHT OVER THE TOP ROPE!!!! OH NO!!!!

Vinegar: Deathman is out of the match!!

Hanson: I don't believe it!!

Vinegar: That doesn't matter, because out is out. We're down to the final four, folks! Now Jensen is back to his feet, understandably looking a little worse for wear. He just shoved B, clearly not happy with what happened to him.

Hanson: Big B returns the favour and shoves Jensen. A struggle has broken out and Big B gets the advantage!! He lifts Jensen up into a gorilla press!! HA! HE'S GOING TO TOSS HIM OUT OF THE RING!!

Vinegar: But Big is fading here! His eyes are rolling about in his head and Jensen is able to break free from his loosened grip!

Hanson: This is bizarre. He can barely stand. He's using the ropes to support himself.

Vinegar: And Austin is laughing! He's pointing to the cookie wrapper. HE MUST HAVE PUT SOMETHING IN THE COOKIE!!!

Hanson: Ha! He poisoned Big B and now the fat man is about to fall asleep in the middle of a match!! BRILLIANT!!!

Vinegar: The substance seems to be taking effect now! Jensen and Austin use this chance and score with a double dropkick, SENDING BIG B TUMBLING OVER THE TOP ROPE AND OUT OF THE MATCH!!!!

Hanson: HA! BYE FATTY!!

Vinegar: And the two exchange a high five! I guess they can together!

Hanson: Ha! Nope! Austin keeps hold of Jensen's hand, grabs him by the tights AND THROWS HIM STRAIGHT OVER THE TOP ROPE!!! JENSEN IS OUT!!!! HAHAHAHA!!!

Vinegar: And in a matter of moments, we're down to the final two! Either Savage or Chris Austin are going to leave tonight, as the first ever GIW Hardcore Champion!!

Hanson: Well, it might as well be the final one, Nick. Savage is still lifeless after that hurricane of kendo sticks he took right to the forehead.

Vinegar: You may be right, Daniel. This one might be academic from here. Or not, as Lord Deathman has re-entered the ring!!

Hanson: The referees are telling him to leave, but it makes no difference! This is a guy who listens to no one, except himself!!

Vinegar: And he's approaching Austin, complete malice in his eyes! This can't be good for The Next Great One! BUT JENSEN AND WITHAM SLIDE BACK INTO THE RING AND TAKE DEATHMAN DOWN WITH A DOUBLE DROPKICK!!! Now Levi grabs the baseball bat, while Sean take up the lead pipe! BOTH MEN BUST DEATHMAN OVER THE SKULL AND SEND HIM TUMBLING BACK TO THE OUTSIDE!!!

Hanson: Now the pair are having an intense stare down with Austin. Jeez, you guys lost, get over it.

Vinegar: Well both Jensen and Witham are leaving the ring, but I'd be surprised if this issue with Chris Austin is finished.

Hanson: Well The Resistance has bigger problems, as Deathman has started pursuing Jensen and Witham up the ramp! Both men are hurrying backstage, clearly not wanting any of the angry Deathman. That's what you get for interfering with other people's business!

Vinegar: I believe they were helping an ally. But that doesn't matter, as, back in the ring, Austin is pulling Savage up by the head. Savage's face is covered in blood, as the red liquid flows out of his forehead. The damage may have been done by those 20 kendo stick shots.

Hanson: No! Savage is playing possum! HE JUST STABBED A SCREWDRIVER INTO AUSTIN'S LEG!!!!

Vinegar: MY GOD, AUSTIN JUST FELL TO THE MAT, CRYING IN PAIN!!! SAVAGE IS SICK!!

Hanson: Sick?! That was brilliant! He must have grabbed it when the tool box shattered open!

Vinegar: And in one single move, Savage seems to have taken complete control of this match. That screwdriver is still sticking out of Austin's leg. He may be in shock.

Hanson: He doesn't have time to go into shock! Savage has already picked up that ladder. HE DRIVES IT INTO AUSTIN'S FACE!!!

Vinegar: Chris Austin was just laid out and now he's also bleeding profusely from the forehead! This match has gotten very ugly, folks.

Hanson: And the ugliness isn't over yet. Savage drops the ladder on the mat and pulls Austin up. BLITZKRIEG ON THE LADDER!!!

Vinegar: NO! AUSTIN PUSHES HIM AWAY!!! SAVAGE BOUNCES OFF THE ROPES AND SPINE BUSTER ONTO THE LADDER!!! SAVAGE JUST WENT BACK FIRST ONTO THE METAL!!!!

Hanson: But the move took a lot out of Austin! His leg just collapsed underneath him!

Vinegar: Now both men are pulling themselves up, via the ropes. Austin is first to make it and picks up a steel chair! HE SWINGS AT SAVAGE! SAVAGE DUCKS AND DROPKICKS THE CHAIR INTO AUSTIN'S FACE!!!

Hanson: That chair just crumpled around Austin's skull!!

Vinegar: And The Next Great One is thrown into the ropes! SAVAGE CHARGES!! HE;S GOING TO CLUB AUSTIN RIGHT OVER THE TOP ROPE!!! BUT CHRIS DROPS TO THE MAT AND PULLS ON THE TOP ROPE, AS HE GOES DOWN!!! SAVAGE GOES HURTLING OVER!!!! AUSTIN WINS!!!!

Hanson: NO!!! SAVAGE MANAGES TO HOLD ON!!!

Vinegar: You're right!!!! He's hanging onto the top rope for dear life! If his hands slip, he's finished!!!! MY GOD, AUSTIN JUST PULLED THAT SCREWDRIVER OUT OF HIS LEG!!! AND SHOVED IT STRAIGHT INTO SAVAGE'S SHOULDER!!!! SAVAGE CRIES IN PAIN AND GOES FALLING TO THE FLOOR!!!! THE MATCH IS OVER!!!! CHRIS AUSTIN IS THE FIRST EVER GIW HARDCORE CHAMPION!!!!

Hanson: I DON'T BELIEVE IT!!! IT'S INCREDIBLE!!!

Vinegar: HE'S BLOODY AND BATTERED, BUT DAMMIT, HE'S THE HARDCORE CHAMPION!!!

Hanson: Well, Ace? get up there and give him the Hardcore Championship belt!

Ace: C............. an't.............. b................. b..................... breathe...........

Hanson: I guess I'll be giving him the belt, then.

Hanson takes a mic and the Hardcore Title belt from it's resting place next to the remains of the announce table and jogs into the ring. He gives the belt to Austin and raises his arm in the air.

Hanson: Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you, the FIRST AND ONLY GIW Hardcore Champion! CHRIS AUSTIN!!!!

There is a mixed reaction amongst the fans, as Austin takes hold of the mic, breathing into it heavily and strained.

Austin: Tonight... I stand... before you all... as the... HARDCORE CHAMP -

Austin's mic falls silent, as Declan Prescott appears on the titantron. He's dressed in a slick, black suit and begins clapping softly.

Declan: Congratulations, Chris. Really, I mean it. You won the battle royal and, as your reward, you are now the first ever GIW Hardcore Champion. That's quite the accomplishment. And you should most definitely enjoy this accomplishment, while you can. I say that because you're time is already running out. The part about the battle royal I didn't tell you is that the runner up would become the number one contender to your newly won gold!

Vinegar: What?! That means Savage!!

Declan: That's right, Chris. Black Axis. The Hardcore Title. Chris Austin is destroyed at the hands of The Brutal Enigma, himself. SAVAGE!!!!

Vinegar: Unbelievable!!

Declan: I'm looking forward to it.

Declan winks, as the screen fades black, before returning to playing the ring action.

Vinegar: Oh my God! Austin casts his gaze from his hard earned belt, to Savage, who is sitting against the safety barrier, clutching the screw driver lodged in his shoulder blade. The eyes of both men are burning with hatred! What a rivalry this is going to be!!

[T-Robosaurus Rex]

“Why Can’t We Be Friends” hits, as an uncomfortable silence fills the arena. As always, Brandon McSkinny appears, throwing his entire being around the stage in a failing attempt for attention.

Dennis: The following match is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first... some skinny guy, who’s name I forget.

Hanson: Pwnt.

McSkinny rolls into the ring, getting his head caught on the bottom rope as he goes. He squeals and shakes his neck frenetically, before finally freeing himself.

Vinegar: No one can say he doesn’t try.

Hanson: You could say the same thing about TNA and look at that place.

Vinegar: No you couldn’t.

Hanson: Touché.

“Kickstart My Heart” smashes into play, as Brandon Brown leaps from behind the curtains. He takes no notice of the cheers he receives and angrily marches down the ramp, his sight set like stone on his opponent.

Dennis: And the opponent, from Albion, Indiana and weighing in at 190 pounds... BRRRRRRRRRRRRRANDON BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROWN!!!!!

Vinegar: Brown rolling into the ring with much more grace than Skinny. The bells and BROWN WITH A SUPERKICK STRAIGHT TO SKINNY’S FACE!!!! HE MAKES THE COVER! ONE! TWO! THREE!!!!!!

Hanson: WHAT?! IT’S OVER ALREADY?!

Vinegar: This match lasted 4 seconds! The shortest match in GIW history!!

Hanson: Brown’s music didn’t even stop playing! This is incredible!

Vinegar: And now Brown is helping Skinny up. Maybe he wants to share in a hand shake?

Hanson: NO! HE BLASTS SKINNY WITH A SECOND SUPERKICK!!!

Vinegar: MY GOD, SKINNY MAY BE DEAD!!!

Hanson: I’d call Brown a bully, if it was anyone other than Skinny.

Vinegar: I know you would. But regardless, it seems Brown has taken some frustration out on Skinny here. I think we all knew who he’s really angry at, though.

Hanson: And he doesn’t seem happy, as he makes his way backstage. Prescott beat you, Brown. Accept it.

Vinegar: I don’t think that’s going to happen. I can’t see Brown giving up, until he brings some justice to that cheating Prescott.

Hanson: Well good luck to him, with that endeavour. He’ll need it. And you know something, Nick?

Vinegar: I’m afraid to ask.

Hanson: I almost feel sorry for Skinny. How do you think Chris Austin feels about this?

Vinegar: Just stop.

[T-Robosaurus Rex]

Vinegar: Well folks, the GIW ring crew are currently altering the ring for the Global Heavyweight Championship crowning ceremony. I can't say I'm looking forward to this.

Hanson: Well that's your opinion. I think this is going to be great. They've laid the ring out in red carpet and have set up a table with a beautiful white, silk covering over the top. I'm so excited!

Vinegar: I'm pretty certain you're the only one.

Hanson: Whatever, Nick. I have to go now, because Prescott asked me to conduct this thing.

Vinegar: Better than Vick Ace, I suppose...

Hanson grabs a nearby black, leather briefcase and makes his way to the ring. At the same time "The Air That I Breathe" begins pumping throughout the arena. Declan Prescott, dressed in a sleek, black suit with metallic blue tie, appears on the stage. He is accompanied by Cara Costello, who is sporting a red, silk dress. The two gaze at the arena around them, both smiling brilliantly. They then proceed down the ramp.

Vinegar: Declan is looking unusually well dressed here and Cara looks absolutely stunning. The pair is obviously taking this very seriously and I can't say I blame them. Like it or not, Declan Prescott is recognised as the greatest wrestler in the business today.

Cara makes her way up the ring steps, with Declan close behind. He stretches the ropes so she can pass through with ease and then enters the ring, himself. The pair stand opposite Daniel Hanson, who has placed the briefcase on the table. Declan's music fades out, replaced by the sound of ringing 'you suck' chants.

Hanson: Ladies and gentlemen, if you would please be silent. I need your attention.

The 'you suck' chants grow much louder.

Vinegar: It's not going to work, Daniel.

Hanson clears his throat and raises his voice, in an attempt to drown out the unflattering voice of the fans.

Hanson: Ladies, gentlemen, degenerates, hicks and children! Allow me to present to you all, being accompanied by the lovely Cara Costello, your GLOBAL HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION OF THE WORLD... DECLAAAAAAAAAAAAAN PREEEEEEEEEESCOTT!!!!!!!!!!!

The arena fills with a single, unanimous, deafening boo. Hanson irritably passes the microphone to Declan, screaming at the fans to shut up, as he does so.

Declan: Thankyou very much, Daniel. But please, don't blame these people. They're simply ignorant. I mean, if I really sucked, it would be Brandon Brown standing here right now.

Declan smiles broadly and casts his gaze around the arena, revelling in the boos he receives. Still smiling, he places the mic to his lips once more.

Declan: But he's not. He's on his way home right now, wishing he had the talent that I possess.

Vinegar: Oh please.

Declan: No, no, no. It is I, Declan Prescott, who stands here before you all on this night, as the man most qualified to be your Champion.

Vinegar: I'm going to be sick.

Declan: Now sing it with me, folks. Brandon sucks! Brandon sucks! Brandon sucks!

Vinegar: Just complete disrespect.

The arena's boos only intensify, causing Declan to burst out in laughter. He soon composes himself and speaks once more.

Declan: So Daniel, why don't we give the people what they want? Why don't you present to me with the Global Heavyweight Championship?!

A hateful chorus of 'bullshit' chants erupt. Cara and Hanson seem very unimpressed, but Declan only smiles.

Declan: You know, as much as you all despise me, I'm your Champion! And there's not a thing any of you can do about it! So keep booing. All it does is show how powerless you all are!

Declan begins laughing once more, as Vinegar groans loudly into his headset. Hanson, now smiling, opens the briefcase and pulls the sparkling gold belt from it's holster. It reads 'Declan Prescott' across the front in thick, black letters. Cara takes hold of the belt, as Hanson takes the microphone from Declan.

Hanson: Declan Prescott, I officially crown you as the standard bearer of Global Impact Wrestling. You are the FIRST EVER Global Heavyweight Champion of the world!!! Congratulations!

Cara places the belt into Declan's hands, both of them smiling from ear-to-ear. Declan raises the belt above his head, as the arena blasts into a thunderous boo. Declan takes no notice and has Cara strap the golden crown around his waist.

Hanson: Well Declan, there's only one thing to ask: how does it feel?!

Declan: As a wise man once said, I'm the king of the wor -

"WHEN I GET HIGH I GET HIGH ON SPEED!

TOP FUEL FUNNY CAR'S A DRUG FOR ME!

MY HEART, MY HEART!

KICKSTART MY HEART!"

Vinegar: WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?!

Declan, Cara and Hanson stare stunned at the arena entrance, as Brandon Brown marches onto the stage. He looks just as frustrated as he did earlier, as the fans explode into a hysterical cheer.

Vinegar: Brown is here and he does not look happy!

Brown slides into the ring and instantly springs to his feet. His music fades as he storms towards the recently crowned Global Heavyweight Champion.

Declan: Woah! Woah! Woah! Just what the heel do you think you're -

Declan's words are cut off, as Brown snatches the microphone from him and stands face-to-face with The Significant Player.

Brown: You know, Declan, I was on my way home! I was going to let you have your moment. I was going to take the high ground, whether you deserved it or not. But then I happened to walk past a monitor backstage. You know what I heard Declan? Do you?!

Declan: -

Brown: I HEARD YOU SAYING THAT I SUCK! I HEARD YOU MOCKING ME WHEN IT WAS ALL YOU COULD DO TO SURVIVE A MATCH WITH ME!

By this point, a second mic has been tossed to Hanson by a tech-crew member.

Hanson: Relax, Brown!

Brown: DON'T TELL ME TO RELAX! This filthy, cheating son of a -

Declan clasps his left hand over Brown's mic, cutting off Brandon's words. Prescott then takes Hanson's mic with his right.

Declan: No, Daniel, Brandon's right. I was out of line and, for that, I apologise. You don't suck Brandon. Not at all. I mean, you stepped into the ring with me and you lost. That makes you the second best wrestler alive today. That's quire the achievement. But it's not the best! You know why I put you in a match with Skinny? It wasn't so you could gain revenge or indulge whatever other delusions of grandeur you have! It was because Skinny is the level that you are at. Because you are in a league that is far below mine. Now get your miserable ass out of my ring right now or else you're going to have hell to pay!

Brandon: Declan, you arrogant fool. At Infinity, I had you beat! Throughout the Global Challenge you needed the help of four other people just to survive! The only thing you'll ever be the best at is proving how much of a weasel you are! You don't have the ability or the drive to make it on your own! You can never match me and if you give me the chance, I'll prove it!

Declan: So what are you saying? You want a shot at my Title?!

Brandon: That's right. But more importantly, I want a shot at you!

Declan: Oh, is that right?!

Brandon: Yeah, that's right!

Declan: Well get in line, buddy! I'm the top guy in the industry and everyone wants a shot at me! But to get one you have to earn -

The arena goes black, as panicked whispers begin filtering through the arena.

Vinegar: This is odd.

The lights return and a massive gasp emanates from every person in the arena. Cara cowers behind Declan and Hanson cowers behind Cara. Standing in the centre of the ring are Aesc The Dark and Christina Lust.

Declan: What the hell is this?! Every man and his satanic friend has decided to ruin what should have been the greatest day in GIW histo -

Aesc snatches the mic from Declan's grip and prematurely ends his sentence. Aesc raises the mic to his lips and takes a deep, haunting breath in.

Aesc: Brandon Brown, you had your opportunity. You failed, where I will succeed. You could not do, what I will do. It is time for you to move on. Declan's business is now me and only me.

Declan pulls Brown's mic from his grip and speaks.

Declan: As much as it pains me to say, the kitten killing, fire farting freak show is right. It's time to be on your way Brow -

Aesc: SILENCE! When I wish you to speak, I'll tell you so! Until then you shut the fuck up and let me speak!

Vinegar: What happened to the bleeping?

Aesc: Declan Prescott, you are a festering maggot of a man! Everything Brown says about you is right. You're a coward and a liar and I despise your entire being. At Black Axis, I destroy you!

Declan: Well if I had a nickel for -

Aesc: WHAT DID I JUST SAY?! You do not speak unless I give you permission! Now I want all of you to leave this ring! For tonight, these people celebrate Aesc The Dark.

Boos fill the arena once more.

Aesc: YOU WILL ALL BE SILENT! I am above you all! I am The Lord of Darkness, The Black Minister, the son of Satan himself!

Declan raises his eyebrows at Brown, who smirks and nods.

Aesc: I will NOT tolerate the insolence of -

Vinegar: MY GOD! PRESCOTT AND BROWN WITH A PERFECT PLAY AND A SUPERKICK INTO AESC! THE BLACK MINISTER JUST WENT CRASHING TO THE MAT!

Declan: Hold him up, Brown.

Brown shoves Christina Lust out of the way and hooks his arms underneath Aesc's shoulders. He heaves the big man into a sitting position. Prescott, meanwhile, unbuckles the Global Heavyweight Championship belt and grins broadly.

Declan: While it's a pity to taint this beautiful belt by having it touch your pathetic skin, I feel I owe it to you. Because, quite simply, this is the closest to my Title you're ever going to get!

Declan swings the belt at Aesc's face, but at the last second Brown releases his grip and -

Vinegar: BROWN JUST SUPERKICKED THE BELT INTO PRESCOTT'S FACE! NOW THE CHAMPION AND CHALLENGER ARE BOTH LAID OUT!!

Brown picks up the belt and raises it over Declan's downed body, as "KIckstart My Heart" begins pumping over the arena sound system. He then drops the prize on top of Declan and smiles broadly. He winks at Cara, before exiting the ring and making his way up the ramp.

Vinegar: Well now, Declan Prescott is pulling himself up by the ropes and is staring at Brown with a look that could kill. He's hurting badly right now and he's not going to forget this. BUT AESC JUST SAT UP BEHIND HIM!!!

Aesc rises to his feet, as the music fades. Declan simply continues staring menacingly at Brown. Cara and Hanson are shocked into silence, both their jaws hanging open in terror.

Vinegar: And now Aesc is stalking Prescott. Declan turns around RIGHT INTO A TOMBSTONE PILE DRIVER!!! PRESCOTT JUST WENT HEAD FIRST INTO THE TITLE BELT!!!! HE'S COMPLETELY UNCONSCIOUS AFTER TAKING TWO FINISHING MANOEUVRES!!!

Aesc makes a cut throat motion, as "For Whom The Bell Tolls" begins playing. Aesc's eyes are set squarely on Brown, who watches on from the entrance stage. Brandon simply nods, stating boldly that he accepts Aesc's challenge.

Vinegar: Well this night has certainly not gone how Declan Prescott would have liked. He's been beaten down on the night that was supposed to be a celebration for him. There's definitely going to be fallout from this one folks and I hope you can join us next week to see how it all unfolds! Until then, I'm Nicholas Vinegar, signing off. Have a pleasant week.

[T-Robosaurus Rex]

Originally posted by Declan Prescott