Synergy #26 Results - January 17th, 2011

[T-Robosaurus Rex]

Vinegar: We’re live at the first Synergy of 2011, looking forward to a great year here in UGWC, and it is time for our first match!

"Shout 2000" hits over the PA system as John Russo and Sierra Steel appear from behind the curtain. Sierra gives John a smile, which sets him off running down the ramp and he ends up sliding into the ring under. As John poses in the ring and plays to the crowd, Sierra makes her way down to ringside. John looks over at Sierra standing over at ringside before smiling and yelling out to the crowd, "Shout!"

Dennis: The following contest is scheduled for one fall and is a Global Challenge Qualifying Match! Introducing first, from San Diego, California, being accompanied to the ring by Sierra Steel, JOHN RUUUUUUSSSOOOOOO!!!!!

Lieberjosch: Certainly a disappointing ending to 2010 for John Russo, who lost the Cross-Hemisphere Championship to JK.

Vinegar: Perhaps it reminds us that not all victories are won and lost in the ring, as while he lost his match at Horizons, he certainly was a winner in life, officially becoming engaged to Sierra Steel.

Lieberjosch: What are you, pals with Kiseragi now?

Covert Jay: DRAGONNNNNNNNNN!!!!!

Lieberjosch: He’s not even a part of this match!

Covert Jay: Sorry, you said the name and I got excited.

"Sun Doesn't Rise" hits to a strong pop, and Red Fusion steps out onto the stage, amidst the flashing red and blue lights. He heads down the ramp, playing to the crowd, high fiving and shaking hands. He climbs into the ring and hits the nearest turnbuckle and stretches his arms out, and then starts pounding his chest. He hops down and paces around the ring for a moment.

Dennis: And his opponent, hailing from Washington, D.C., The Face of Freedom, RED FUUUUUSSIIOONNNNNN!!!!!

Vinegar: There is a bit of history between these two.

Covert Jay: There certainly is. Two years ago around this time, the two were embittered in a feud over Russo’s Cross-Hemisphere Title.

Lieberjosch: Both of these men are three time holders of that championship during its ten year history, but tonight they’ll face each other to qualify for a spot in this year’s Global Challenge.

Vinegar: We understand there will be an announcement later tonight from the Consortium regarding the nature and format of this year’s challenge, but right now, our participants are ready, Brian Chartreuse is ready, UGWC’s 2011 year is officially underway!

DING DING!

Vinegar: Russo and Fusion circling each other, double elbow tie-up.

Lieberjosch: Both men grappling for position, and an arm drag by Fusion.

Vinegar: Fusion with the leverage, controlling the arm, he plants and twists, pulling Russo into a snap suplex.

Covert Jay: Ninja float over into a cover!

Vinegar: Russo shoves him off before Chartreuse is even in position. Russo quick to his feet, but Fusion comes off the ropes and puts him down a face buster.

Covert Jay: And Fusion springboards off the ropes into Complete Destruction!

Vinegar: Fusion with a cover!





ONE!!!!!





TWO!!!!!





Vinegar: Russo kicks out!

Lieberjosch: Fusion trying to keep the pressure on, trying to lock Russo into Intense Agony!

Vinegar: Russo elbows him away, rolls to the ropes.

Lieberjosch: But as he uses them to pull himself up, Fusion slams into him with a clothesline that drives him to the outside!

Vinegar: Fusion pounds on his chest in the ring, he has gotten off to a hot start here in the early goings.

Lieberjosch: He’s going to have to keep this pressure on though, Russo is dangerous if you give him time to recover.

Vinegar: Fusion looking to do that, slingshotting over the top rope!

Lieberjosch: Look out!!!

Vinegar: Sierra is in the way, and Fusion holds on to the top rope, landing awkwardly on the apron, he tumbles to ringside!

Lieberjosch: Sierra Steel went to check on Russo after that spill to the outside, it put her in Fusion’s way, and Fusion held onto the top rope to stop himself from hitting her.

Covert Jay: Ninja reflexes from the cherry!

Lieberjosch: At a potentially devastating cost to himself!

Vinegar: Fusion rolls back into the ring, looks to be holding his ankle where he just slammed it on the apron.

Lieberjosch: Russo’s to his feet, coming back into the ring.

Vinegar: Fusion getting back to his feet, turns right into an inverted atomic drop.

Lieberjosch: And Russo follows up with a Samoan drop!

Vinegar: Russo hooks the leg!





ONE!!!!!





TWO!!!!!





Lieberjosch: Fusion kicks out!

Vinegar: Russo pulls him up, going for a running bulldog, but Fusion plants on his good leg and pushes him off. Russo turns back around-

Covert Jay: VIRUS OF LIFE!!!

Vinegar: But Russo pushes him away. He goes for a clothesline, Fusion ducks!

Covert Jay: Fused Back Breaker!

Vinegar: Fusion hobbling towards the corner, that ankle clearly bothering him, and he goes to a corner.

Lieberjosch: This might not be a good idea.

Vinegar: Fusion to the top, steadies himself.

Covert Jay: Leap of Faith!!!

Vinegar: Russo rolls out of the way, Fusion crashes to the mat!

Lieberjosch: And he screams in pain, holding that ankle, he landed on it again!

Vinegar: And Fusion is glaring at Sierra on the outside.

Lieberjosch: As he should, Fusion had this match under control before her actions shifted the tide.

Vinegar: Inadvertently so, but if you want to RUSSO WITH A ROLL-UP!!!!





ONE!!!!!





TWO!!!!!





THREE!!!!!





Dennis: Here is your winner, advancing to the Global Challenge…JOHNNNN RUUUUUSSOOOOOO!!!!!

Vinegar: Russo surprising Fusion with that rollup from behind, and he comes away with the victory!

Lieberjosch: And a frustrating loss for Red Fusion it must be!

Vinegar: Sierra Steel coming into the ring to celebrate with her fiancé, what a great couple they make.

Lieberjosch: If you’re into that sort of thing, I guess you, hold on!

Covert Jay: VIRUS OF LIFE!

Vinegar: Red Fusion just laid Russo out with the Virus of Life, and now he’s staring right at Sierra.

Lieberjosch: She cost him the match!

Vinegar: Sierra backing away, she tries to get out of the ring, but Fusion has her by the hair, he pulls her back, don’t do this, Red!

Covert Jay: VIRUS OF LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Vinegar: Fusion is seething as he stares down at Sierra, and he rolls out of the ring and gingerly heads up the ramp, shocking actions by Red Fusion, and we’ve still got a ton of action still to come! Don’t go anywhere!

[T-Robosaurus Rex]

Dennis: Ladies and gentlemen please welcome, from Nashville, Tennessee, JOHNNY CAAAAAAAA……Wait…..that can’t be…..OH! JOHNNY CLAAAAAAAASSSSSHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lieberjosch: For a moment there I thought he was going to say Johnny Cash. How’d we be able to get him? He’s dead!

Covert Jay: Ninjanuety!

A cover artist resembling the late Johnny Cash steps up onto the ‘Ground Zero Band’ stage with his bassist and drummer, to a moderate pop from the fans

Johnny: Hello, I’m Johnny Clash.

Another moderate pop from the audience resonates as the band begins to play the famous Johnny Cash song, Hey Porter.

Johnny: Hey porter! Hey porter!
Would you tell me the time?
How much longer will it be till we cross
that Mason Dixon Line?
At daylight would ya tell that engineer
to slow it down?
Or better still, just stop the train,
Cause I wanna look around.

(JK walks out from the back and flashes the Cross Hemisphere title to the thousands of cheering fans before walking up to the mic set up in front of the entrance)

JK + Johnny: Hey porter! Hey porter!
What time did ya say?
How much longer will it be till I can
see the light of day?
When we hit Dixie will you tell that engineer
to ring his bell?
And ask everybody that ain't asleep
to stand right up and yell.

(JK walks down the ramp as the solo plays, signing autographs for the fans, and even taking the time to pose for photos for some)

Johnny: Hey porter! Hey porter!
It's getting light outside.
This old train is puffin' smoke,
and I have to strain my eyes.
But ask that engineer if he will
blow his whistle please.
Cause I smell frost on cotton leaves
and I feel that Southern breeze.

(Smiling from ear to ear, he walks down to the ring, holding up the championship as he does. Eventually, he gets around to the announcers’ booth, to high five a waiting Covert Jay, the only new announcer to show any support to him)

Johnny: Hey porter! Hey porter!
Please get my bags for me.
I need nobody to tell me now
that we're in Tennessee.
Go tell that engineer to make that
lonesome whistle scream,
We're not so far from home
so take it easy on the steam.

(As the second solo plays, JK slides into the ring, climbs up one of the nearby turnbuckles, and holds up the title for his fans, causing sparks to fall down from above the ring)

Hey porter! Hey porter!
Please open up the door.
When they stop the train I'm gonna get off first
Cause I can't wait no more.
Tell that engineer I said thanks a lot,
and I didn't mind the fare.
I'm gonna set my feet on Southern soil
and breathe that Southern air.

As the song finishes, JK takes a mic which has been left in the ring for him.

JK: Thank You JOHNNY CLASH!

A louder pop emits from the crowd due to the fact that he has proven to be better than most cover bands.

JK: I saw that guy in a pub last week doing that very song, but I’ve got to say, he sounded much better tonight. But enough small talk, welcome, one and all, to the first Synergy of 2011!

Huge cheer.

JK: The last event of 2010 was, in fact, the flagship show of the old GIW promotion, Horizons, an event with a short, yet colourful history, and an event that yours truly is currently unbeaten in. That’s right, JK has gone 2-0 at the big event, and even regained his status as ‘The Aussie Champion’ along with the moniker of ‘Youngest Champion’, this time at the age of 17. Not only that, but by technicality, I am a 2 time Cross Hemisphere champion.

Lieberjosch: What the hell is he talking about?

JK: I see some of you are confused, well, let me lay it down for you. I was the Youngest GIW.com champion, not to mention the longest reigning one to boot, before losing the title to Kiseragi at Dark Days. That title went into unification with the Cross Hemisphere title at the first UGWC Pay per View, No Holds Barred: Adapt or Die, therefore, this is my second time with this title, just under a different name.

Covert Jay: Ninja gains a logic skill point.

Vinegar: What?

Covert Jay: I’ve been playing the Sims 3 recently.

JK: Now, I wanted to interview John Russo this week, however, I was told that he may want to be with Sierra whenever possible seeing as those two got engaged at Horizons, so it may be prudent to give him that for this week at least. So instead, I have the chance to interview an old friend of mine, who was in that manic Carnage match. He is an Aussie Rebel, please welcome….ENIGMA!

Given To Fly by Pearl Jam hits to a huge round of applause as Enigma makes his way from the back, he walks swiftly down to the ring. He rolls in and the two friends exchange a handshake as the music dies.

JK: Enigma, so close to making it into the next round, how’d it feel to compete in something like that?

Enigma: What can I say, you only get to compete in a match like that every once in a blue moon, and I am pleased to say that I competed in the Carnage match. Maybe next time I can win it, if I am in it again.

JK: Here’s hoping, mate. Who would you say is the biggest influence you’ve had in this career?

Enigma: Tough question. I’d probably say Mick Foley was one of the bigger ones, then there are the generic answers, Ric Flair, Hulk Hogan and the like.

JK: What do you think has been the better part of your career last year?

Enigma: Well, winning the Chaos title was one, then there was also becoming a permanent fixture to the UGWC roster.

JK: Do you think that 2011 will be your year?

Enigma: Is the sky blue?

JK: Not if you’re in Queensland…..speaking of which, you and I are booked to do some charity matches in Brisbane, your home town, to raise funds for the massive flooding in North Queensland, do you think that you’ll get many good matches?

Enigma: You said it, man, we are both booked, and if the guys organising it know anything, than you and I should be in the same match, either as opponents or team members.

JK: Did Ooley give you a bit of the stink for being away from UGWC?

Enigma: Not as much as he would have for you, seeing as you’re the second tier champion now. Although Moss seemed to be all over the idea…

JK: Yeah, I went through the wars when Ooley found out, but we managed to cut a deal. I’ll come back here for Synergy to do my Ground Zero segment, then bugger off back to Brisvegas. Well, that’s all the time we have, I have a plane to catch, as does my guest, so we’ll leave you with…

‘Chorus of Angels’

Ezekiel appears at the top of the entrance way with the Chaos Title draped over his shoulder. He begins shouting stuff to the two in the ring, inaudible to JK and Enigma due to the distance between them and Zeke, however, JK seems to know what he’s talking about. He shakes his head, rolls out of the ring, and holds his forehead as he exits through the crowd.

Lieberjosch: What was that all about?

Vinegar: I honestly have no idea, but Zeke doesn’t seem too happy about JK’s reaction. He’s staring down Enigma, who is still standing in the ring, looking out in total confusion.

Ezekiel raises the Chaos Title that he took from Enigma as the crowds cheers the cheap pop.

Covert Jay: My ninja sense tells me that this isn’t over…

Vinegar: That’s right, in one sense at least. Folks, we’ll be right back, don’t go anywhere.

[T-Robosaurus Rex]

Vinegar: Now ladies and gentlemen lets turn our attention to a co-operative match up featuring...

Lieberjosch: Tag team wrestling is a dead art form...back in my day the tag teams were great now look at we are stuck with!

Covert Jay: What chu talking bout Willis?

Vinegar: Ugh...if that's you're going to side with me Jay...then please don't!

Lieberjosch: We had real commentators as well, not ninjas and fat cowboys...now we get garbage commentators for garbage wrestling.

Covert Jay: What chu talking bout Willis?

…

Vinegar: Moving on we're set for a match between The Thames Valley Hit Squad vs. Freak Show Central.

*Quick Death

Johnny and Duncan walk out to the ramp together, but from there Johnny strides ahead quickly making his way down to the ring, his partner however...slowly swaggers down to the ring, stopping ever so often to pose.

Dennis: From London, England...Johnny Blake and Duncan Ryder THEEEE THAAAAAMMMESSSS VAAAALLLEYYYY HITTTTT SQUUUAAAAADDD!

Johnny is just about to slide into the ring when he turns back and notices his partner barely any closer to the ring than he was when they first came out onto the ramp. He rushes bake to the Dashing one and urges him to hurry...at one point even grabbing him and pulling him down to the ring. A fan though shouts at the duo and grabs Johnny's ire who stops to yell at and mock the fan, he lunges towards him and the once brave fan trips over the people behind him trying to run away. The Ballistic one chuckles as Duncan has entered the ring where he poses again and is then joined by his tag team partner

Covert Jay: Limey Brits.

Lieberjosch: Slimy or limey?

Covert Jay:...

*When They Come For Me

Vinegar: Thank god for Linkin Park interrupting that.

Lieberjosch: Your god maybe!

Deimos and Fernandez walk out to the stage, Fernandez with the Mallet of Doom (tm) proudly slung over his shoulders. Fernandez shouts into the crowd and circles around Deimos as Deimos is focused on the current occupants of the ring on their walk down the ramp.

Dennis: And their opponents Alan Fernandez and Phrixus Deimos FREEEAAAK SHOOOOOOOOWWWWW CEEEEEEENTRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAALLLLLL

Deimos enters the ring and Fernandez stands on the apron, thrusting the Mallet into the air as red, white, and blue pyros explode around the ring.

Covert Jay: Is he a Mexican?

Vinegar: Deimos?

Covert Jay: No the other one.

Vinegar: Fernandez?

Covert Jay: No.

…

Lieberjosch: See what did I tell you; garbage commentators.

Covert Jay: The one that rolled his 'R'.

Vinegar: Mitchell?

Covert: Is he a Mexican?

Vinegar: Nope.

Lieberjosch: You god damn idiots looks like I have to commentate this match...Johnny has already shot in and taken Deimos down with double leg and now he's got that headlock in tightly.

Covert Jay: Puerto Rican?

Vinegar: No.

Lieberjosch: Deimos though is fighting back to his feet, but Johnny picks his legs again and he's searching for a kneebar. But Deimos scrambles to the ropes and gets to his feet.

Covert Jay: Spanish?

Vinegar: No.

Lieberjosch: the two men circling each other and The Phucking Phreak with a stiff lariat out of nowhere and now he's striking away at Blake.

Covert Jay: hmmm well he rolls his 'R' very well.

Vinegar: Wait why am I engaged in this stupid conversation?

Lieberjosch: You're a garbage commentator. Both men back to their feet now as Deimos looks for a suplex...Blake blocks it though and hits a suplex of his own.

Vinegar: Tag made too Duncan and TVHS hits a double team clothesline and Duncan into the pin.

Green: 1...

...2...

Covert Jay: He kicks out...I'm not going to be left out by you two!

Lieberjosch: Deimos back to his feet, he swings wildly but Duncan ducks and executes a perfect German suplex.

Vinegar: He drops down and latches in a front facelock.

Covert Jay: Ninjatastic choke out.

Vinegar: Deimos though gets to a vertical base and clubs away at his opponent before hitting a clothesline and breaking the hold.

Lieberjosch: Deimos now running off the ropes and right into a counter spear.

Vinegar: I think Deimos was looking for a spear there himself...but Duncan was too quick.

Covert Jay: Ninja tag to Johnny.

Lieberjosch: Duncan and Johnny going for a double suplex...

Vinegar: What a counter though...Deimos just hit both men with a DDT.

Lieberjosch: Impressive move indeed.

Covert Jay: Ninja tag to Fernandez.

Lieberjosch: Alan climbing the turnbuckle and he comes off with a diving Yakuza kick to Duncan before running off the ropes and hitting a running Yakuza kick to Johnny.

Vinegar: Fernandez now stomping away at Johnny as Duncan tries to regain his wits and exit the ring.

Lieberjosch: Duncan was taking too long.

Vinegar: Fernandez just clotheslined Duncan out of the ring just a she had got back to his feet.

Lieberjosch: And now helping his own partner up and into their corner of the ring.

Vinegar: Blake charging at Alan but the hit squad just got taken down with a spinebuster.

Covert Jay: Ninja freaks looking impressive.

Vinegar: Fernandez now tags Deimos in and they look to be going for the Spearfish...Alan whips him towards Phrixus but Johnny avoids the speak and then charges at both men with a double clothesline.

Lieberjosch: Duncan's back in his corner awaiting the tag...and there it is.

Vinegar: Duncan comes in with the Dashing Driver on Fernandez who was first to his feet...now looking for the same to Deimos.

Covert Jay: To crafty for that.

Lieberjosch: Deimos fights free of the potential match ender and he's now looking for the Millennial Decay...

Vinegar: He's got it locked in...this could be it.

Lieberjosch: Johnny though back in and he clubs at Deimos's back and now he's hoisting him up onto his shoulders in an electric chair position for a roles reversed Hit.

Vinegar: Deimos just sent face first into Duncan's knees and this one has to be over.

Green:...1...

...2...

...3!!!

The Thames Valley Hit Squad celebrate their victory as they mock their defeated opponents.

Dennis: Here are your winners; Johnny and Duncan THE THAAAAAAMMMMESSS VALLEEEEYYY HITTT SQUUUAAAAAD!!

Covert Jay: Awww no rolling R.

Vinegar: I must say; great job by my co-announcers on this match.

Lieberjosch: Indeed...now let us never speak of this again!

[T-Robosaurus Rex]

Vinegar: It's time for our second Global Challenge Qualifier, and it pits two men who suffered defeats at Horizons against one another. It would probably be fair to say both men are likely still coming to terms with their respective defeats.

Lieberjosch: I'm not sure which of them should feel worse, Daisuke for losing to a man who speaks on the phone every day with his mother, or The Lord Chief for allowing Jet Somers of all people to rise to the top of the company.

Dennis: The next match is scheduled for one fall, and is a Global Challenge Qualifying match.

'He's the Fastest Kid Alive'

Dennis: Introducing first, from Japan....MAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRREEEEEEEEKKKK DAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIISSSUUUUUKKKKEEEE!

Covert Jay: False Idol! False Idol! False Idol!

Vinegar: Marek Daisuke steams to the ring, he will be looking to put the disappointment of 2010 behind him.

Lieberjosch: Aren't we all?

Vinegar: Daisuke more than most, his return to the ring hasn't quite hit the heights he has undoubtedly set himself, and it must irk him seeing his former Cooperative Partner, Ezekiel, holding gold whilst he has nothing to show for the past few months.

Covert Jay: Apart from a blasphemous tattoo, that he must deeply regret now.

Vinegar: But it's a new year, and new opportunities await The Human Missile if he takes hold of them. But boy, has he been given a tough challenge to start it all off. UGWC's Only Two Time World Heavyweight Champion awaits him.

'Ripper'

Dennis: And his opponents, from Connecticut, DOOOONNNNNOOOOVVAAANN HHHAAAASSSSTTTTIIIINNNGGSGSS!!!

Vinegar: Hastings striding down towards the ring, swiftly, but with no display of pomposity as we are used to.

Lieberjosch: He has no reason to pose or look pleased with himself, he lost to Jet Somers, a glorified bare knuckle fighter, on the biggest show of them all. His humiliation main evented Horizons, until he manages to right that incredible wrong he has no right to show off in any regard. And he obviously knows that, keeping his head down and heading directly for the ring.

Vinegar: I'm not sure that's what this is, he may well be disappointed but Donovan Hastings is not prone to public acts of humility. I wouldn't be surprised if he declared himself the rightful World Heavyweight Champion any day now, despite Jet Somers' absence due to the unfortunate events that marred Horizons at it's end.

Lieberjosch: No, I disagree, even Donovan Hastings cannot block out the stark reality that Jet Somers is World Heavyweight Champion, despite his incredible levels of self-delusion.

Vinegar: Well, if that is the case, this is the first step of his rehabilitation. The 2009 Global Challenge was arguably the launching point of Donovan Hastings' Epic rise in GIW, and then UGWC. He managed to turn defeat in the Semi-Final's to Gabby into a a psychological win that gave him the momentum to go on and win Battlegrounds, and then defeat Travis Roberts at Horizons that same year. If anyone knows what a win in this competition could do, it's Hastings, having experienced it without even winning.

Lieberjosch: It'd be a start I guess.

Vinegar: Both men are now in the ring, and Hazel East signals for the bell...

DING!

Lieberjosch: Marek wastes no time in launching himself at The Lord Chief, who smartly drops outside of the ring

Vinegar: What's he doing?

Covert Jay: I think that's pretty clear. He's not looking for a weapon that's for sure.

Vinegar: Even for Donovan Hastings this is bizarre behaviour, he has turned and started walking up the ramp, to the astonishment of everyone in the arena, including Marek Daisuke.

Lieberjosch: I'm not surprised, that's exactly the right decision to make, he needs to make amends, that means beating Jet Somers, not messing around with a bunch of wannabes.

Vinegar: Hazel East has been forced to begin counting Donovan Hastings out, but it is a pretty pointless exercise as Hastings is backstage before she even makes it to the 6 count. When he disappears beyond the GlobaTron East turns and signals for the bell to be rung.

Dennis: Ladies and Gentlemen, here is your winner, via a forfeit, MMMMAAARRREEEKKKK DDDAAAIIISSSUUUKKEEE!!!

Vinegar: Marek doesn't look particularly pleased with his win, and I'm not surprised. Donovan Hastings has basically just urinated all over the prestige of a tournament that has been around since the very beginning of GIW, an event that has been competed for by the very best in the industry has been belittled by this shameful excuse of a man. I can hardly contain my rage.

Covert Jay: Do try, we have quite a lot of the show left.

[T-Robosaurus Rex]

We cut backstage, and we see UGWC's Head of Human Resources, Robert Ooley sitting at an oval desk. He has a folder opened in front of him, but is currently disinterested in it as he sit's stroking his loyal companion, Lois. He glances at his watch every few moments, each time responding with a roll of his eyes.

This repeats itself for a short time until the two other members of UGWC's controlling Consortium come through the doors of the office, both men laughing as they finish a conversation and takes seats at the other end of the Oval.

Ooley: Nice for you to both make it.

Dexter and Moss exchange confused looks.

Moss: We're late?

Ooley: Well the show has already fucking started! So yes, surprisingly, you are late for our pre-show meeting.

Dexter: Hey, no harm no foul, everything's going as expected so far. The Global Challenge runs itself, we only have a few points to cover, and we have plenty of time. Besides, Moss and I were just finishing an episode of Glee, I'm still shocked you're not a fan.

Ooley: Can we just focus on tonight, I'm surprised you two smarmy cunts are so laid back, our first show of 2011, a year where we are going to have to really prove we are a top brand of sports entertainment, and you're both grinning like teenagers who've just discovered the joys of masterbation.

Moss: that's a little dramatic, I think Horizons proved we are the Elite in this business.

Ooley: Sure it did, it had the Match of the Year in it, but both of those two have removed themselves from competition, shit stains that they are, and we're facing up to a real fight if we don't want the fans to become indifferent to what comes next.

Dexter: You're overreacting, the roster is strong, we don't need to manage it, it will bring us success itself.

Ooley: Listen, pinhead, If we sit back and do nothing, who knows what will happen. I'm almost certain the audience doesn't want yet another year that is dominated only by Donut Hamstrings. As far as we know Bummers is in a hospital bed drooling on himself, and he is the World Heavyweight Champion. We gotta look to the fucking future and start building towards a whole new level of Main Eventers, there is a chasm at the top following the departures, we should have been planning for this contingency months ago, but would you guys listen?

Moss: Rather than focusing on Nostradamus levels of conjecture, can we focus on things we actually have to decide upon? Did you read the memo Dexter and I co-authored.

Ooley: What?

Dexter: It was entitled Global Challenge 2011 Proposals.

Ooley: That? I naturally assumed that was just a joke. Of course it did make me wonder where this unknown talent for comedy had come from, but I just dismissed it as one of the worlds great mysteries.

Dexter: We were both incredibly serious.

Ooley: It's a stupid idea, we'd already decided on what we'd endow the winner with before Horizons was even announced, that in itself is prestigious enough. It doesn't need bells and whistles added to it to make it special.

Moss: You're missing the point.

Ooley: I'm not, believe me, I know petty and vindictive behaviour when I see it, I'm well accustomed to the occasional powertrip. There are just better ways to go about things, more creative ways to flaunt power.

Dexter: Well we should vote on it?

Ooley: Do we really need to, you both 'co-authored' the idea.

Moss: One of us may have changed our minds. You may have convinced us with your argument.

Dexter: So lets vote, all in favour of the Proposal, say Aye.

Moss: Aye.

Dexter: Aye. Well that's that then, you can make the announcement after the Gabrielle Tyvola match.

Ooley: Why are you both looking at me?

Dexter: Because you're making the announcement.

Ooley: Like fuck I am. If you two want to make a stupid decision that's fine, but I'm not going to put a respectable face to it.

Dexter: Well it makes more sense coming from you, forget the new addition to the Challenge, no-one else should really talk about the name.

Ooley: If I say no, you'll just vote again won't you.

Dexter: That would be procedure.

Ooley: Fuck.

[T-Robosaurus Rex]

Vinegar: We continue on here on Synergy, with the third of four Global Challenge qualifying matches!

Lieberjosch: John Russo and Marek Daisuke have both already qualified, who will join them next?

The lights go out kicking on a red glow from under the ramp. ‘Come Together’ kicks in and Tyvola lumbers out from the back and into the ring.

Dennis: The following contest is scheduled for one fall and is a Global Challenge qualifying match! Introducing first, currently residing in Los Angeles, California, The Jackal of Jwar Isle, TYVOLLLLLAAAAA!!!!!

Vinegar: We understand Tyvola took a journey of sorts over our holiday break.

Covert Jay: What, ridden on a horse?

Lieberjosch: I don’t think that we need to waste time explaining the actions of a lunatic.

Covert Jay: Besides, if he had any sense he would have just used coconuts.

What You Want begins to play and Gabrielle walks out atop the entranceway giving a quick twirl before tussling her hair and making her way down to the ring. She climbs up onto the ring apron and then crawls along the length of it before crawling into the ring and getting to her feet where she saunters to the middle of the ring.

Dennis: And his opponent, currently residing in Montreal, Quebec, Canada, the Caramel Coated Goddess, GABRIELLE MONTGOMMMMMMERRYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!

Vinegar: Gabrielle has previous experience in the Global Challenge, having won it back in 2009.

Lieberjosch: You’ll of course recall that Article #382 described that victory in detail.

Vinegar: Sure it did.

DING DING!

Vinegar: Tyvola knocks down Gabby with a right hand to start the match, and comes off the ropes and floors her with a shoulder tackle.

Lieberjosch: Tyvola hits the ropes again, but this time Gabby sidesteps him, catches him in the back of the head with an enziguri!

Vinegar: Tyvola face down on the mat, Gabrielle grabs him by the hair.

Covert Jay: And that’s a crapload of hair.

Lieberjosch: Curb stomp!

Vinegar: She rolls him over, and now a cover!





ONE!!!





Vinegar: Tyvola launches Gabby away, kick out with authority!

Lieberjosch: He nearly hurled her out of the ring!

Vinegar: Gabrielle to her feet in the corner, Tyvola charging in with a big boot!

Lieberjosch: Gabby sidesteps and Tyvola gets hung up in the corner!

Vinegar: Tyvola falls back into the ring, getting to his feet, but Gabrielle knocks him down with a jumping heel kick! He’s down, she’s heading to the corner!

Covert Jay: Split-legged moonsault!

Lieberjosch: You gotta love when she does that.

Vinegar: Gabby hooks the leg!





ONE!!!!!





TWO!!!!!





Lieberjosch: Tyvola kicks out!

Vinegar: Gabby coming off the ropes as Tyvola is getting up, but he drills her with a clothesline!

Covert Jay: All the way from HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!

Vinegar: Tyvola scratching at his beard, now he drops into a cover.





ONE!!!!!





TWO!!!!!





Vinegar: Gabby gets the shoulder up!

Lieberjosch: She’s holding her chest, clearly a very intense impact if she was able to feel it there.

Covert Jay: I’m surprised nothing popped.

Lieberjosch: Me too, as she ducks another clothesline.

Vinegar: Gabrielle twists Tyvola into a hammerlock, looking for the Decadent DDT.

Lieberjosch: But he counters out of the hammerlock, lifts Gabrielle!

Covert Jay: Catastrophic Cave-in Causer!

Vinegar: Tyvola floats out of it, and she shoves Tyvola face first into the corner! He staggers back out, kick to the gut!

Lieberjosch: 34 Double DDT!!!!!!

Vinegar: Gabrielle with the cover!





ONE!!!!!





TWO!!!!





THREE!!!!!





Dennis: Here is your winner, GABRIELLE MONTGOMMMMERRRRYYYYYY!!!!!

Vinegar: Gabrielle advances! She joins John Russo and Marek Daisuke in qualifying for this year’s Global Challenge!

Lieberjosch: And perhaps the most impressive one to do so yet!

Vinegar: Don’t forget, we’ve got an announcement still to come from the Consortium regarding the nature of this year’s tournament.

Lieberjosch: And it’s next!

[T-Robosaurus Rex]

Metallic’s “Damage Inc” begins to play in the arena, and Robert Ooley walks to the ring, carrying his Louisville Slugger baseball bat.

Dennis: Ladies and gentlemen please welcome UGWC’s Director of Human Resources, Robert Ooley!

Vingear: We were told to expect an announcement tonight from the Consortium regarding this year’s Global Challenge, this must be it.

Ooley climbs into the ring and is handed a microphone.

Ooley: Listen good, because Old Bob only wants to have to say all this once. Last month at Horizons, we saw the end of a career. Personally I found it a lot more satisfying than I would have expected. Now, anybody with an attention span longer than that of an infant surely noticed that he was sent packing with a rather significant purse in his bank. It certainly would have been a viable idea to just forget about the whole thing altogether, but it is the…decision…of the Consortium that these funds will be used to make this the most lucrative Global Challenge ever. We start with eight participants, and we’ll know four of those eight by the end of tonight. The four that make it past the first round will all win G$1,000,000. Our two finalists earn an additional G$3,000,000, and the winner of the Global Challenge banks another G$6,000,000 which means they’ll have made a total of G$10,000,000.

Lieberjosch: That’s enough for a World Title match!

Ooley: And like past Global Challenges, this year’s will have a theme. In the past, it was a tournament to crown a Heavyweight Champion, pimped out by a gangster penguin, and spoke to the heart and soul of a competitor. It has reminded me of another tournament, one with a rich and prestigious history. I’m talking of course about LWF’s Lord of the Ring Tournament, an annual event that also served to show us the superstars of the future. It is an achievement that eluded even the greatest superstar in LWF history. Me. In fact, three past winners are on our roster today: Orlando Hernandez, Scared, and Kung Phooey. So this year you will all bear witness to Global Challenge 2011...

Ooley pauses, looking around the arena.

Ooley: Lord of the Ring.

Vinegar: What announcement! Not only will the winner of the Global Challenge net a purse of G$10,000,000, but it will also be the return of the Lord of the Ring Tournament!

Covert Jay: Only the most ninjastic have been able to win that event!

Ooley starts to leave the ring, but “Ripper” hits, and Donovan Hastings storms to the ring, wearing his cloak.

Vinegar: The former World Heavyweight Champion on his way to the ring! I don’t see what his interest in this could be, he already walked out on his qualifying match.

Lierberjosch: Because the Global Challenge is beneath him! He’s probably here to collect a rematch for the championship.

Hastings demands his own microphone, but Ooley cuts him off before he can speak into it.

Ooley: This had better be damned good, I’m in a real piss-poor mood.

Hastings stares at him for several seconds.

Hastings: You would do this, wouldn’t you. Jet Somers as the champion feels like we’re in dark days all over again, and then you go and pull a stunt like this.

Ooley: What are you blathering about?

Hastings: Lord of the Ring was a birthright that was stolen from me time and again. Twice in LWF I was a part of that tournament, and twice was it won unjustly by another. It’s haunted me, preoccupied me, and just when I need to be doing something else for the good of this promotion’s very survival, you wave this carrot in front of me. Fine. Put me in.

Ooley: You know what, you just made this all worthwhile, you stupid bastard. You had your chance to qualify, Hamstrings. You turned your back on it. That puts you at the back of the line. You want another shot? You’ll have to earn it. I’ll think about it. Later, sucker.

Ooley’s music plays again as he leaves the ring, leaving Hastings fuming in it.

[T-Robosaurus Rex]

Vinegar: Now it’s time for the first title match of 2011 and it’s the Chaos title on the line.

Lieberjosch: Will anyone mind if I just take a nap instead of watching this?

Vinegar: Not personally but I think the people who pay you for your insight may have something to say about it.

Jay: Insight?

Vinegar: Apparent insight.

Lieberjosch: I have a PhD you know.

Jay: Yeah, you don’t often shut up about it.

The lights dim to a near blackout, as all you can see on the Globaltron is the words: "He Is Here!" Suddenly, an explosion erupts from the stage as "Firefly" by Breaking Benjamin starts up. Medos appears just as the chorus starts. He walks to the front of the stage, looks around, raises one hand up slowly, then throws it down as yet another explosion appears from behind him. The screen is showing Medos wrestling with several other wrestlers from previous matches. Medos carries on walking down; he slaps hands with one fan, and walks past the others.

Dennis: The following contest is scheduled for one fall and is for the UGWC Chaos Title! Introducing first, the challenger! From Somerset, England! Weighing in at 210lbs! Meeeeeeedooooooos!!!

Vinegar: Observant fans will recall that Paul Cockatoo won Number 1 contendership to the Chaos title way back in November and is yet to claim his shot. However, he is seemingly unavailable for this first show back and so Medos lays claim to this title match.

Lieberjosch: How does that work anyway?

Vinegar: Well Medos did out perform the champion in the Carnage match at Horizons. A match that typified the chaos style. Medos has a much right to take this shot as anyone.

He rolls into the ring, and towards a turnbuckle. He points at the fans, raises his hand to his forehead, sticks his index and middle finger out, and salutes the fans. He then prepares himself.

Fast paced drums hit the PA Speakers as ‘Chorus of Angels’ begins to play. The intro of the song plays as a hole opens in the entrance ramp and Ezekiel slowly rises in a circular motion. His wings are folded back, almost flat against him. As the song picks up, his wings suddenly extend outward as pyro goes off all around him on the stage. He leans his head quickly to the left, then right, popping his neck. He walks down towards the ring as the music continues to play as his wings fold back into place. Ezekiel puts his hands into a praying motion before thrusting his arms downward, his wings spread and in one smooth motion he flies over the top rope and into the ring.

Dennis: And introducing the Champion! From Los Angeles, California! Weighing in at 170lbs! He holds the UGWC Chaos title! Ezekieeeeeeeel!!!

Vinegar: Ezekiel won the Chaos title way back at Battleground yet this is the first defence of his reign.

Lieberjosch: How did he get away with that? The World Heavyweight title has been defended more than that.

Vinegar: It just didn’t seem to fit into the pre-Horizons build up I guess.

His wings appear to fade out of sight as he climbs the turnbuckle and does the praying motion again before stepping down and stretching in the corner.

Vinegar: This title match seems to be ready to go.

Jay: Hardcoooooooooooooore!!!

Ding! Ding!

Vinegar: Owen Peterson calls for the bell and we’re underway. Medos looks for the tie-up to get started but Ezekiel seems to have other ideas.

Lieberjosch: Medos does have the greater technical skill set. It’s a good idea for Ezekiel to stay clear of the clinch.

Vinegar: Trying to make a point about having insight?

Jay: How sad.

Lieberjosch: Shut up!

Vinegar: Ezekiel manages to spin behind Medos and puts a kick into the back of his knee. Ezekiel running to the ropes and comes back with a dropkick to the side of his head. Good early start from The Archangel.

Lieberjosch: He’s going to have to keep up the speed and finish this quickly if he wants to keep hold of that belt.

Vinegar: Ezekiel bringing Medos up to his feet and rams him head first into the turnbuckle. Backing up now, something in the works. Ezekiel charges in, goes for a running knee strike but Medos ducks aside and The Archangel gets nothing but turnbuckle pad.

Lieberjosch: It was too early to attempt a move like that. Medos has 40lbs on Ezekiel and it’ll take more than a couple of shots to keep him docile for that long.

Jay: He is British though. Surely that doesn’t count in his favour in terms of toughness.

Lieberjosch: Well no but even if we half it for being British he’s still got 20lbs.

Vinegar: Medos tackles him and runs him into the corner. A couple of shoulder thrusts to follow up. Followed up with a vertical into the centre of the ring. Floats over into a cover.

1!

Vinegar: Too early for that.

Jay: I’ve always wondered why Ezekiel doesn’t use his wings to kick out. Surely they should be strong enough if they’re capable of holding his body aloft.

Vinegar: I guess there’s some rule against it.

Jay: In a no DQ match?

Vinegar: Good point. Medos bringing Ezekiel to his feet this time. A couple of forearm shots from the Brit. Irish whip sends Ezekiel running, rebounds back and ducks under a clothesline attempt. Ezekiel stops on a dime, Medos turns and gets knocked down with an enziguri.

Jay: Boot to the head!

Vinegar: Ezekiel following up with a couple of stomps. Medos escapes to the ropes and manages to fight his way back up to his feet. Ezekiel off running and comes back with a clothesline that sends Medos out to the floor.

Jay: It’s time to get hardcore!

Lieberjosch: And all resemblance of a wrestling match goes out of the window.

Vinegar: Ezekiel goes for a slingshot. Medos dives away but Ezekiel is able keep hold of the rope and lands on the apron. Medos seemed to think he was safe and turns back into a High Beam from the apron. Ezekiel makes a cover.

1!

2!

Vinegar: Medos kicks out. Ezekiel goes hunting under the ring and removes a trash can. Medos up to one knee just in time to get hit with the lid and goes back down. Ezekiel raising the can up now and crashes it down on Medos’ abdomen. Medos clearly hurt but trying to get some separation.

Lieberjosch: He’s coming round in front of us.

Jay: Use my chair!

Lieberjosch: Who’s that aimed at?

Jay: Anyone. I just want to contribute.

Vinegar: Jay has just thrown his chair to ringside.

Lieberjosch: I hope you don’t expect to share mine when your legs get tired.

Jay: I’ll get another one after the match.

Vinegar: Medos has crawled away and grabbed that chair. He’s tucked it into his chest and slumped down on it. Ezekiel doesn’t seem to have noticed. He’s stepped over to pull Medos to his feet and the English Enigma lashes out with that chair.

Jay: Ninja strike!

Vinegar: Ezekiel falls back and Medos scrambles to make the cover.

1!

2!

Vinegar: Not enough to keep the Chaos Champion down. Medos going under the ring this time and pulling out a table. He’s leaning it up against the apron. Ezekiel’s still down and Medos grabs him by the legs.

Lieberjosch: Looks like a slingshot in the works.

Vinegar: He gets it off but Ezekiel with a great display of agility leaps over the table and lands on the apron, goes straight into a springboard hurricanrana that sends Medos through the table!

Jay: Whoo! Yeeeeeeeah!!

Vinegar: Impressive move by the Archangel and he’s taking a little time to celebrate.

Lieberjosch: A waste of time. He could regret that later.

Vinegar: Medos already stirring and Ezekiel picks up that trash can again. Medos gets to his feet just in time for Ezekiel to stick the can over his head boot him in the gut and drop him with a DDT! Ezekiel going for the cover.

1!

2!

Vinegar: Medos stepping up to this hardcore environment with his resilience. Ezekiel pulls Medos to his feet and rolls him into the. Picks up Covert Jay’s chair.

Jay: Yeeeeeeeeah!

Vinegar: He climbs up to the apron as Medos gets to his feet. Ezekiel throws the chair, hits him in the head and knocks him back down.

Lieberjosch: I don’t think that landed flush. Medos got an arm at least half up.

Vinegar: We’ll have to see if it’s enough. Ezekiel heads to the top rope. Righteousness! Ezekiel with a flying elbow!

Lieberjosch: Misses! Medos rolls out of the way and Ezekiel sticks his elbow into the mat.

Vinegar: Medos pulls Ezekiel to his feet and drops him with a Falcon Arrow. He’s got the chair now, lays it into the middle of the ring. He’s got Ezekiel on his feet again. I think he’s going for the Falling Future on the chair!

Lieberjosch: Ezekiel blocks it!

Vinegar: He gets free behind him. He spins Medos around and stuns him with a forearm. Bless The Fallen onto the chair!! This has to be over. Here’s the pin!

1!

2!

3!

Ding! Ding! Ding!

Dennis: Here is your winner and still Chaos Champion! Ezekieeeeeeeel!!!

Vinegar: A great hardcore match up ends with a victory for the Champion.

Lieberjosch: If you weren’t watching the match at all.

Jay: And I think my chair is still in good enough shape to sit on. Result.

Ezekiel rolls out of the ring, takes his belt and starts to head back up the ramp.

Vinegar: It’s our main event up next. The ongoing war between Alex Kiseragi and Travis Pierce continues as they battle to become tonight’s fourth Global Challenge Qualifier.

[T-Robosaurus Rex]

The lights in the arena go out. The GlobalTron comes to life, showing a familiar silhouette of a man walking down a darkened hallway toward the screen.

"In time you're time will be no more..."

Vinegar: He's here!

Covert Jay: Ninjaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

The fans get to their feet in a hurry, despite the theme song "Everybody Down!" beginning to play. 

The United Global Heavyweight Champion Jet Somers emerges from the curtain, championship belt strapped around his waist. His arm is raised in a fist from his black underarmor shirt, as the fans drink in his presence.

Lieberjosch: Jet Somers returns to UGWC after a month long battle for his life after being sniped from the catwalk at Madison Square Garden at Horizons.

Vinegar: And it was shortly before that when he defeated Lord Donovan Hastings to become the champion!

Jet begins to make his way down to the ring, stopping several times along the way to shake hands with the fans. Finally he climbs into the ring, turning immediately to climb the nearest turnbuckle. He unstraps the belt and raises it high into the air in one hand as the fans go crazy.

Vinegar: There is a Champion who fought his way to the top, and, despite a hell of a lot of adversity, managed to secure his reign at the biggest event of the year.

Lieberjosch: Jet asking for a microphone as he climbs down.

Jet: Thank you! Thank you all for the support you've shown me. I must have received thousands of letters, cards, and get well gifts as I struggled to recover. You are the reason I'm back here today, ready to defend the championship I couldn't have earned without you're support.

Lieberjosch: This guy really knows how to play to the crowd, huh?

Covert Jay: I sent him one hundred black balloons, but he never saw them.

Vinegar: How do you know?

Covert Jay: They were Ninja Balloons!

Jet: I came out of the coma the day after Christmas, and I immediately set to work conditioning in physical therapy, everyday. I followed the website, and the question that kept coming up, over and over, was what's going to happen with the championship? Let me guarantee, I'm going to defend it at Infinity!

Vinegar: Nice plug there.

Jet: Of course, that leaves one question unanswered, who will I defend against?

Lieberjosch: The crowd is voicing their various ideas, and I'm with about half of them who are shouting Lord Donovan Hastings!!!

Jet: I'm a man of my word, always have been. I made a deal with someone several months back, and I intend to make good on that deal. That's why, on February 14th, I'll defend this gold against none other than Phrixus Deimos!!!

Covert Jay: Another pop!

“32” by Karma to Burn blasts across the arena.

Vinegar: UGWC's Sports Entertainment Executive, Dexter Vines has made his way beneath the GlobaTron.

Lieberjosch: I wonder how long he spends in front of a mirror each day practising that cheesy grin.

Dexter: I'm so sorry to interrupt proceedings Jet. Firstly I would like to extend congratulations on behalf of everyone in UGWC on your victory that closed out last year. We'd also like to offer our most heartfelt appreciation for your speedy miracle recovery from the gunshot wounds you suffered moments afterwards. Had you not recovered so quickly The Consortium would have been in a very sticky position, given events that have occurred in the past week. Even a show broadcast live on the World Wide Web can't escape criticism regarding taste and decency.

Lieberjosch: Gun's have no place in a wrestling ring.

Vinegar: They have no place in civilised society.

Lieberjosch: Woah, lets not go too far.

Vinegar: Don't tell me your pro-guns...

Lieberjosch: In certain situations it is perfectly legitimate to own a gun. I own a gun.

Vinegar: For what purpose?

Lieberjosch: Bears?

Vinegar: You live on the sixth floor of an apartment building.

Lieberjosch: Maybe we should concentrate on the Sports Entertainment Executive.

Dexter: Having said how grateful we are, and how pleased we are for you, we aren't that grateful or pleased, we just can't afford to be?

Vinegar: Jet looks a little perplexed.

Dexter: What kind of precedent would it set if we just sat back and allowed the World heavyweight Champion to pick his opponents? It is even more stupid a precedent to set than allowing a retired athlete to hand off their purse to whomever they please.

Jet: I gave my word, I will honor it.

Dexter: Jet, we completely understand where your coming from, this is a gesture of nobility on your part, but we have to look at what consequences we could face down the line. What message does it send out if we just hand a World heavyweight Championship shot to a man who has failed on numerous occasions to regain the title, and has done nothing other than befriend you to earn it?

Vinegar: Jet's skin turning a bright red colour.

Dexter: And what of future Champions, you may believe you are choosing a viable title challenger, but others in your position may opt to face the likes of Osiris or Andy Savana for an easy defence. No, it just can't happen that way, we cannot allow the World Heavyweight Champion to hand pick their opponents. There are certain procedures that must be adhered to, you cannot just choose your own match for Infinity.

Vinegar: Jet calming down now, still defiant, but puffing his chest up.

Dexter: Of course...

Jet: Hmmm?

Dexter: There are official channels you could go down, it just depends how much you value your word.

Covert Jay: Ooooh! I see where this is going...

Dexter: Is your word worth G$8,300,000?

Covert Jay: That's how much it costs to buy a World Heavyweight Title Shot at Infinity! It stipulates nowhere that the only person you can purchase it for is yourself! Jet Somers can buy Phrixus Deimos the shot.

Vinegar: Well it looks like he may have to, if he wants to keep his word.

[T-Robosaurus Rex]

“Earlier tonight”

We rejoin The Consortium as they continue to discuss various decisions to be made.

Moss: So we're agreed on the Lord of the Ring purse idea...

Ooley: You two agreed...

Dexter: Majority rules Robert, it's democracy at it's best.

Ooley: You do realise you're both utterly moronic don't you?

Dexter: let's move onto the next order of business shall we, Moss you have some stunning news.

Moss: Yes indeedy! Jet Somers has recovered in just over a month and is already fit to compete.

Ooley: Thank god can you imagine if we had come back this week and our motherfucking World Champion was lying in a coma with a gunshot wound? This is exactly why I always veto any idea's that invovle guns.

Moss: Water Balloon rocket launchers aside. Anyway, I have word he is planning to honour some deal he had with Phrixus Deimos and hand him the first title shot.

Ooley: And?

Dexter: Well we can't let him choose his competition, the principle is just ridiculous.

Ooley: Who cares? Most of the top talent will be involved in the Lord of the Ring Tournament, Astro Bummers vs Scared has a history, it's an instant draw...

Moss: Hey, your forgetting that just before Horizons Jet insinuated we were in league with Prescott and TWiSTeD trying to keep the likes of Somers out of the World Title scene. No-one accuses us of corruption and gets away with it!

Ooley: What other options do we have, Scared will bring in the buy rates alongside the Global Challenge.

Dexter: Well, he can't just choose who he wants, if he says anything on his return, I vote we deny him that option...

Moss: Hang on, their may be another option, take a look at this..

Moss spins his laptop round for the others to see, on the screen it displays the current purse balances of UGWC's active staff.

Moss: He can afford to buy a title shot.

Dexter: Yes!

Moss: That will teach him for suggesting we have any agenda's in this office!

Ooley: For the sake of fucking fuck, are you two seriously fucking suggesting we risk a guaranteed buy fucking rate, over some fucker spouting some fucking crap whilst manoeuvring for a fucking World Title shot. You two are fucking retarded beyond fucking hope! Fuck.

Dexter: All in favour of proposals say aye, Aye.

Moss: Aye!

Ooley: Fuck.

[T-Robosaurus Rex]

Vinegar: It's time for the Main Event, and it is a Global Challenge Qualifier, and one with a lot of history behind it. 2010's Feud of the Year is being reignited without delay.

Lieberjosch: Roberts and Prescott have both stepped away from the ring, so I have no idea what feud you are referring to.

Vinegar: the one the UGWC.com fans voted as the best of last year, Alex Kiseragi and Travis Pierce, it started with their Unification battle at No Holds Barred, and despite periods of calm, peace has never been called between these two men.

Covert Jay: because Pierce cannot except he can never outdo a Dragon.

Vinegar: both men had an Horizons to remember, Alex Kiseragi despatched his former friend Marek Daisuke, winning the right to keep the Dragon name, and Travis Roberts won the Carnage Match and a staggering $10,000,000 purse. That much could buy him a title shot, any time he wanted.

Lieberjosch: As already displayed by The Consortium earlier this evening. You have to wonder how Alex Kiseragi feels about the events that went down earlier tonight, having been by Jet's side for so long you'd have thought Somers would have rewarded his friendship, loyalty and free gym pass with the first shot.

Vinegar: Unlike Donovan Hastings reaction, prior to his U-Turn in front of Robert Ooley, I'm sure Kiseragi knows how significant the Global Challenge is, no matter what name it is given, and that is what he will be focusing on tonight, not Jet's title defence arrangements.

Lieberjosch: And Travis Pierce will be just as motivated, he's always interested in anything that can help promote himself, and with the announcement of the Purse that is being attached to the tournament, Pierce could have a veritable war chest at his disposal come the end of Infinity.

Vinegar: The Consortium certainly have sweetened the pot for the Global Challenge, and it makes every match that much more important, winning the Global Challenge could change the career of any individual.

Dennis: The Main Event is scheduled for one fall, and is a Global Challenge Qualifier.

'Teahouse'

Dennis: Introducing first, from San Francisco, ALLLLLLEEEEEXXXX KKKIIIIIISSSSEEERRRAAAGGGIII!!!

Vinegar: Kiseragi looking in great shape, ending his Horizons losing streak seems to agree with him. He'll be looking to take the momentum from Horizons through the beginning of this year.

Lieberjosch: So will everyone who emerged victorious, unfortunately few people fought as hard for victory as Kiseragi's opponent tonight. The Carnage Match lived up to it's name.

Covert Jay: And 'The Dragon' lived up to his! He has Pierce's number, 2011 will be the Year of The Dragon, take my Ninja Word for it!

Lieberjosch: Is that right?

Vinegar: It's not beyond the realms of possibility, Kiseragi has always been one of UGWC's most committed and talented stars, and it's only a matter of time before he gets a World Championship reign in UGWC, to go alongside his Global title reigns in GIW.

Lieberjosch: One of which lasted a week.

Vinegar: And how long did you hold a world title for? Or Travis Pierce for that matter?

Lieberjosch: That's irrelevant, your argument for the inevitability of Kiseragi becoming World Champion could be applied to most of the roster. Now Jet Somers is Champion, it proves anything is possible.

'You Know My Name'

Dennis: And his opponent, from Public Broadcasting, TRRRRAAAAVIIIISSSS PPPPIIIEEEERRRCCCEEE!!!

Lieberjosch: It could just as easily be this man's year, he's got a healthy purse, and the potential to add to that is he gets past his old adversary.

Vinegar: their hatred for one another seems to have subdued, Pierce was the Special Guest Referee at Horizons, and you'd have barely known he was there. The biggest shock of the night was probably that Pierce and Kiseragi barely interacted all night.

Lieberjosch: Because Kiseragi desperately wanted to be called 'The Dragon', despite how childish that sounds, and he didn't want to risk being dubbed 'The Chinkster' officially...

Vinegar: That was unofficial...

Lieberjosch: These things have a habit of catching on.

Covert Jay: He has a point there.

Lieberjosch: And also Pierce was incredibly focused on the Carnage Match, did you really expect him to risk his chance at ten million by getting in between two savages?

Vinegar: Fair point, but it still shocked me. However, anyone who was disappointed the feud did not flare up at Horizons will get their reward any moment now. Both men now in the ring, and Glenn Burke signals for the bell.

DING!

Vinegar: neither man making the first move, each man circles the other.

Lieberjosch: Each tentatively reaching a hand out, but neither fully committing to any actual action.

Vinegar: Then from nowhere, Kiseragi pounces, taking Pierce down with an arm drag, and then quickly spring boarding off the middle rope and hitting the rising Pierce with an elbow to the face, sending him back down.

Lieberjosch: Pierce smartly rolling to the ropes and getting himself back to his feet in the corner, as Kiseragi loiters a few feet away.

Vinegar: Pierce composes himself and leaves the relative safety of the corner, Kiseragi goes for a roundhouse kick, but Pierce manages to duck and goes for a neckbreaker, but Kiseragi manages to break his hold and spin around, before taking Pierce back tot he floor with a Full Nelson slam.

Lieberjosch: I think he may have pulled some hair there, Kiseragi isn't as clean cut as many may think.

Vinegar: he did not, and he isn't wasting any time getting Pierce back to his feet and whipping him into the ropes...

Lieberjosch: Headscissors out of desperation from Pierce and he throws Kiseragi half way across the ring, and now both men are on the canvas.

Vinegar: Kiseragi getting to his feet first, and sees Pierce on one knee.

Covert Jay: SHHIIIIINNNNNNIIIIIINNNNGGG WWIIIIZZZAAAARRRD!

Lieberjosch: Didn't take long to see one of them did it?

Vinegar: Kiseragi now going for a pin...


1...



2...


Lieberjosch: No Pierce manages to get a shoulde rup, and then as Kiseragi tries to get him to his feet, he hits a low blow and then rolls to the outside of the ring to regain his composure.

Vinegar: He leans against the guardrail and Alex Kiseragi cannot resist...he runs the ropes, jumps onto the top rope backwards...MOONSAULT!

Lieberjosch: pierce telegraphs it and moves at the last moment, leaving Kiseragi to hang himself out to dry, his ribs crashing into the steel guard rail, and this match has just swung to Pierce's advantage.

Vinegar: Travis now dragging Kiseragi off of the rail and to the arena floor, before laying into him with numerous boots, before rolling him into the ring. Kiseragi has hurt himself bad, and he clutches his ribs on the floor as Pierce climbs back into the ring and stands over him...

Covert Jay: SMALL PACKAGE!


1...



2...



Lieberjosch: No!

Vinegar: Pierce kicks out, and jumps to his feet, as Kiseragi remains on the floor. He doesn't look to happy he was nearly duped there...

Lieberjosch: But he's not going to make the same mistake again, and he firmly drags A-Kis to his feet, and gets ready for a DDT...

Vinegar: But Kis is still battling and he blocks it and shoves Pierce away from him desperately.

Lieberjosch: pierce crashes backwards into Glenn Burke...

Vinegar: Who goes head over heels over the top rope, landing outside. Kiseragi has no time to be concerned with that though, and he pounces on the disorientated Pierce...

Lieberjosch: Who reverses and hits a devastating gut-buster, driving his knee into Kiseragi's already damaged midsection..

Vinegar: He climbs to the top rope, as Glenn Burke sits up outside the ring, but he can;t get to his feet...Pierce stands on the top rope...

Lieberjosch: PIERCING BLOW!

Covert Jay: DRRRAAAGGGOOOON DODGE!

Vinegar: Kiseragi rolls out, and Pierce crashes to the ground...Kiseragi gets to his feet, and he waits for Pierce...

Covert Jay: It's coming...

Vinegar: Pierce starts to stir, and Kiseragi take sup his posi...SWEET BABY LOIS!

Covert Jay: OOLEY!

Vinegar: From nowhere Ooley has appeared and slammed his baseball bat into the ribs of Alex Kiseragi sending him to the floor, just as he was setting up the Yari Kick. And just as quickly Ooley slides from the ring, as Pierce gets to his feet none the wiser, and Glenn Burke climbs back into the ring...

Lieberjosch: Pierce see's Kiseragi laid out on the floor, and does what any sane man would do, makes the cover.




1....




2....





3!!!

Dennis: Here is your winner, TRRRRAVVVISSS PPPIIIEEERRRCEEE!!

Vinegar: Alex Kiseragi has been robbed of his entry to the Global Challenge by Robert Ooley, who is now in the ring and raising the hand of a very confused Travis Pierce. It may leave a sour taste in the mouth, but Travis Pierce advances to the lord of the Ring tournament at Infinity.

Covert Jay: Why do these things always happen to the Dragon?

Vinegar: the only man who can answer that tonight is Robert Ooley, who now has an arm around Travis Pierce and is speaking to him, Pierce however is still looking confused. I'm not sure what is going on, but I have a feeling we are witnessing the start of something, and I'm not sure we're going to like it. Join us next week, when we'll hopefully get some answers. Good Night!

[T-Robosaurus Rex]

Credits

Opener

Donovan

Ground Zero
JK & Enigma

Cooperative Match
Gabby

Hastings vs Daisuke
T-Rob

How Things Are Done
T-Rob

Gabby vs Ty
Donovan

Global Challenge Announcement
Donovan

Chaos Title Match
A-Kis

Jet's Return
Ichy & T-Rob

How Things Are Done (II)
T-Rob

Main Event
T-Rob[/center]

[Jet Somers]

Beautiful show, a nice welcome back. No more huttah?

I really hope this 'omg, jet somers is champion? wtf?' business doesn't stick, lol. also, way to outmaneuver me, bastards, lol.

Global Challenge underway, things are getting exciting already!

[EZRA]

Nice welcome back show. I'm surprised I went 2 for 2. Haha. One sort of doesnt count.

Anyways, congrats to everyone that won and qualified. Should make for a good tournament already.

[Orgabsmic]

ooo Lord Of The Ring...does it come with an entourage of hobbits?