Synergy #32 Results - March 14th, 2011

[T-Robosaurus Rex]

Vinegar: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to yet another exciting edition of SYNERGY!

Lieberjosch: As presented by the Human Resources Department!

Vinegar: We are one week away from UGWC’s next big Pay per View, Day of Reckoning, and the card is already in large formation, with many Main Event quality matches on the books.

Lieberjosch: Hey, has anyone noticed that the weeks leading up to Pay per Views have been getting shorter since Horizons?

Covert Jay: HUTTAH! It’s all because Ninjas love to be quick.

Vinegar: What do you mean, Doctor?

Lieberjosch: Well, the amount of Synergies before Horizons was five, before Infinity, it was four. Now, the number has dropped to three.

Covert Jay: That’s quick, even for a ninja.

Vinegar: That is a matter for the Consortium to discuss. We have to get a move on, as we are ready for our first match.

DING! DING!

Dennis: This opening bout is scheduled for ONE FAAAAAAAL!!!!!!!

“What you want” KHZ

What You Want begins to play as Gabby walks out atop the entranceway giving a quick twirl before tussling her hair and making her way down to the ring. She climbs up onto the ring apron and then crawls along the length of it before crawling into the ring and getting to her feet where she saunters to the middle of the ring.

Dennis: Introducing first, from Auckland, NZ, member of the HRD......

Covert Jay: TIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITS MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dennis: Um, yeah, what he said.....

Gabby glares at the two

Vinegar: I would like to apologize on behalf of my partner for his insensitiveness....

Lieberjosch: You are so gay....

“Everybody down” Nonpoint

A silhouette resembling Jet Somers appears in the distance of a darkened hallway, walking toward the screen. A distorted and distant Mark Collie wails: 'In time, your time will be no more...,' and the vertical control suddenly flips out as Nonpoint's "Everybody Down" hits hard and Jet runs out from behind the curtain, UGWC Heavyweight Championship strapped around his waist. He runs to the edge of the stage and pumps his fist in the air a few times.

Dennis: And her opponent, from Deep Creek, Mississippi, weighing in at 185lbs, The UGWC World Heavyweight champion......JEEEEEEEEEEEEET SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

At 'And when I stomp you' Jet sprints down the ramp, slapping hands in the crowd as he goes, running to leap onto the apron of the ring. He grabs the rope with one hand and pumps the other fist in the air on each 'Everybody Down!' chant of the chorus. Jet finally steps in and unstraps the belt, holding it up quickly to the approval of the crowd before handing it over. He begins bouncing on the balls of his feet and throwing shadow punches to warm up.

DING! DING!

Vinegar: This match getting under way, Gabby and Jet locking up in the middle of the ring, before Jet throws Gabrielle into a well placed side headlock. Gabby pushing Jet off, and towards the ropes. Jet rebounds and is met with a hard discus elbow.

Covert Jay: Baaaaaad ninja girl’s getting fierce!

Vinegar: Gabrielle sauntering over to Somers

Covert Jay: BUUUUUUUUUUT WIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGGLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lieberjosch: A well placed move, I’m sure Jet will be knocked out from that!

Vinegar: That’s hardly a move as Jet get’s to his feet.

Lieberjosch: Yep, he’s gay.

Vinegar: I have a wife, children and grandchildren!

Covert Jay: So does Tom Cruise....except not Grandchildren.

Vinegar: Somers back on his feet after a failed pin attempt by Gabrielle. Another lock up by the par of them, leading to another headlock, which Gabby again sends Jet to the ropes, going again for that discus elbow, but Jet with the wherewithal to duck it. Jet stops as Gabby turns around, and lands a few kicks to her midsection, causing her to double over.

Lieberjosch: CLEVAGE!

Covert Jay: UNDER CLEAVAGE SHOT!

Vinegar: Jet with a quick DDT to Gabrielle, before he mounts her and starts going for the ground and pound. His MMA-like move set is what won him his Heavyweight title back at Horizons.

Covert Jay: Jet using his ninja abilities now, demounting Gabrielle, and climbing up the top rope for a flying ninja hand of doom!

Vinegar:....you mean a fist drop?

Covert Jay: I know what I meant, damnit!

Vinegar: Jet pulling Gabby to her feet, and taking her down again with a harsh ensiguri. Going for the pin...

East: ONE!

TWO!

Vinegar: Easy kick out.

Lieberjosch: And yet another butt wiggle! We truly are lucky tonight!

Vinegar: Both combatants back on their feet, and we have a trading of lefts and rights.

Covert Jay: Tits Magoo can trade hands with me any day!

Vinegar: That made no sense! Gabrielle has over heard Covert Jay, and is again glaring at him. The distraction costing her, though as Jet Somers taking her down with a bulldog in the middle of the ring.

Lieberjosch: You’d think that the ‘Tits Magoo’ comment would have worn off by now, or maybe that Tits herself would be used to it in the very least.

Vinegar: Either way, Tits....I mean Gabrielle, is in deep trouble here as the World Heavyweight champion shows why he holds that title. Jet with a standing moonsault onto the downed Caramel coated Goddess, now into a pin.

East: ONE!

TWO!

Vinegar: Kick out by Gabrielle! Jet again pulling her to her feet, as Gabby kicks him in the chest, causing him to double over....setting him up.....

Covert Jay: DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lieberjosch: That has to be it.

East: ONE!

TWO!

THRE....

Vinegar: KICKOUT! Jet Somers is nowhere near finished! Gabby seems a little frustrated, and she lets Hazel know, and looks like she’s making comments about her refereeing....

Lieberjosch: And her fashion sense....or sex life.....I can’t tell what those motions are, but she’s pissing the referee off....

Covert Jay: CATFIGHT!

Vinegar: East’s emotions getting the better of her, and she has just slapped the taste out of Gabby’s mouth! Gabrielle is absolutely stunned as the fans in attendance voice their approval!

Lieberjosch: Now she’s mouthing off to East for that slap; Giving Jet ample time to recover and get back onto his feet.

Vinegar: Gabrielle turning around now, and delivering another hard kick to his stomach. Setting up again for the 34DD DDT, but jet able to counter it into a bridging slam pin combo.

East: ONE!
TWO!
THR...

Vinegar: Faster count aside, Gabby is still able to kick out of the pin. Jet back on his feet, and now stomping on the fallen Goddess.

Covert Jay: He’s being a watchful Ninja, as he stops every now and then to scan the crowd....possibly trying to see if JK will follow up on his threat to attack him?

Vinegar: Maybe. Gabrielle is back on her feet now, Jet locks up with her, and takes her down with a belly to belly suplex.

Covert Jay: And we get an involuntary under cleavage shot in the process!

Vinegar: Jet grabbing Ma.....erm....Gabrielle by the arms, and takes her back down with a double armed DDT. Now stepping over her body, and applying a Cobra clutch. Gabrielle gasping in pain!

Lieberjosch: I bet you she’s having Tyvola flashbacks.

Vinegar: Possibly, but I think Jet is just good with submissions.

Covert Jay: The Baaaaaad ninja girl not giving in, and Jet lets go.

Vinegar: Jet steps to the side, and waits for Gabrielle to get up, now spring boarding off of the ropes....

Covert Jay: JEEEEEET STREAAAAAAAAMEEEER!!!!!!!!!

Vinegar: Here’s the pin!

East: ONE!
TWO!
THREE!

DING! DING!

Dennis: Here is your winner, JEEEEEEEET SOOOOOOOOOOMEEEEEEEEEERSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lieberjosch: The faster count wasn’t necessary, Tits Magoo was down and out!

Vinegar: Jet seems excited about this win....what the....

The lights flicker to Green and Gold as Jeremy hits the speakers to a loud chorus of booing. JK walks out in his usual grunge look smiling slightly, the gold Cross Hemisphere title glinting on his shoulder. Jet stares angrily at JK as he begins to speak.

JK: Hey Jet, congratulations on your win, mate. You deserved it.

Jet looks confusedly at the Aussie Champ

JK: I’m not here to congratulate you though, Jet. I’m here to update you on something. Watch the screen.

A security video of the backstage area is show. Paul enters the locker room of the Aussie Rebels, with a copy of the Pirates pornography DVD in hand. He looks around the room to make sure that Jasmine isn’t there with Nikki, before putting it in the DVD player. A few seconds later, JK sneaks out of an open locker, Cricket bat in hand. Paul still hasn’t noticed until after JK cracks him over the back of the head, and in the upper extremities. The video loop ends, and Jet is staring angrily at JK

JK: I told you people who were your friends would soon be hurt. Paul was just the start; as much as it pained me to attack someone as loyal as Paul, Zeke told me it was necessary.

Vinegar: Jet is shouting something out at JK, but I don’t think he can hear it over all the booing.

JK: Oh! Before I go Jet, thought I should let you know. I met Gian in the Cafeteria before; he’s a nice bloke. Too bad he was a friend of yours...Well, I should get going.... I’ll see ya later.

Jeremy hits as JK exits

Vinegar: Jet looks incredibly worried, and he rushes to the backstage!

Lieberjosch: So he should! JK may have attacked his best friend!

[T-Robosaurus Rex]

We go to a pre-recorded segment backstage, where Donovan Hastings is pacing up and down in wonder. JK soon comes into shot.

JK: Hey Donovan.

Hastings stops for a second.

Hastings: Just because you helped me last week, does not excuse you from calling me ‘Your Lord’.

JK: Sorry, Lord Hastings, lapse of memory. Listen, I got some more evidence for that case of yours.

Hastings looks over at JK with a hint of interest in his eyes

Hastings: And that is what exactly?

JK smirks, thinking of what he is going to say.

JK: Back in the XWA, there was a tournament known as the ‘X Factor Wrestler’ tournament. Back in ’04, Enigma made it to the finals, started saying he had the ‘X Factor’.

Donovan is still interested

JK: Anyway, he lost the tournament to someone who professed himself to be a Lord of Wrestling. Ever since, he has vowed to take down anyone who tries to take a title like that, if the person reminds him of his opponent that night.

Hastings: What does this have to do with Infinity?

JK: Well, he used to interrupt those matches by having all the lights in the arena go out, and by displaying a large white ‘X’ on all of the replay screens in the joint. By memory, he’s done it three times before.

Donovan starts looking as if he is putting 2 + 2 together.

Hastings: Thank you, JK. Once again, you’ve supplied me with a significant lead.

JK: Hey, glad to be of assistance, Lord Hastings.

JK walks out as Hastings scribbles something down in Crayon.

[T-Robosaurus Rex]

Vinegar: Welcome back, ladies and Gentlemen, what a controversial match that was!

Lieberjosch: Have you ever seen an official referee attack someone like that during a match?

Covert Jay: Catfights FTW!

Vinegar: Only he could ever say an abbreviation like that.... Anyway, we are ready for our next bout of the evening.

“Quick Death” – The Transplants

Duncan walks out onto the ramp and poses, Johnny skulking behind him. He swaggers down to the ring slowly so everyone can admire him.

Dennis: The following contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, from the UK, accompanied by ‘Ballistic’ Johnny Blake, weighing in at 240lbs, ‘DASHING’ DUNCAAAAAAAAAAAAN RYDEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

When he reaches the ring he climbs in up the steps and onto a turnbuckle. He poses for a moment before jumping down.

Vinegar: Members of the rather outspoken Human Resources Department, the Thames Valley Hit Squad will be taking on their opponents for the tag team titles next week.

Lieberjosch: If someone can weaken their opponents a week before the show, I’m sure it’s the Human Resources Department.

"Violence Fetish" – Disturbed

"Violence Fetish" hits over the PA system as Kyle Tacker steps out from the back, his arms held high and his middle finger extended on both hands with John trailing behind. He lowers his arms as he starts to walk down the ring, stopping halfway to flip the fans off some.

Dennis: And from the land of Candy Canes, Candy Bracelets, and Unicorns, weighing in at a hair under a couple of hundred lbs, KYLEEEEEEEEEE TAAAAAAAAAACKEEEEEEEEEEEER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He quickly climbs up the steel steps, and enters the ring through the second rope. He then stands in the centre of the ring and raises his arms once more to flip the fans off again with both middle fingers.

Vinegar: Dennis’ charming as ever introductions are only a fraction of the UGWC for new time watchers.

Covert Jay: The rest are Ninjas!

Lieberjosch: Pay no attention to him, folks, he’s an idiot.

Vinegar: These two ready to kick things off!

DING! DING!

Vinegar: Tacker wasting no time, taking down Ryder with a hard spear. Now on top, landing hard punches to the skull of Ryder, he looks like a little kid being picked on by those mean bullies at school.

Lieberjosch: He’s 240 fucking pounds for Christ’s sake! I doubt he’d be picked on by those ‘Mean bullies’.

Vinegar: Ryder grabbing one of those punches before it lands, and swings Tacker off of him. That was definitely a nice counter! Tacker now running at Duncan, and is met with a deep hip toss into an arm bar.

Covert Jay: He lacks ninja skills! Tacker with a punch to his jaw!

Lieberjosch: He was spending too much time looking for approval from Johnny, how are they meant to be successful if they don’t pay attention???

Vinegar: Tacker grabbing the head of Ryder, and lifting him up for a delayed vertical suplex. It connects with authority! Tacker with the first cover of the night

Chartreuse: ONE!

TWO!

Vinegar: Kick out by Ryder! Tacker back to his feet, and stomping on Ryder. Ryder grabs his foot, and counters into an ankle lock, twisting the foot of Tacker, and causing him pain. Tacker reaches the bottom rope, and forces Ryder to let go.

Covert Jay: That was absolute ninjaneuety!

Vinegar: Tacker charges at Ryder again, and is taken down with a big back drop. Ryder with an elbow drop, driving the wind out of Tacker’s body! Now, another pin attempt.

Chartreuse: ONE!

TWO!

Vinegar: Tacker kicks out! Ryder picking Tacker up again, and is met with a hard right hand! Tacker pushes Ryder into the turnbuckles before climbing up them and unleashing shot after shot!

Crowd: ONE!

TWO!

THREE!

FOUR!
FIVE!
SIX!
SEVEN!
EIGHT!
NINE!
TEN!

Vinegar: And at that, Kyle jumps off, letting Ryder crash to the mat.

Lieberjosch: Kyle has been dominating with those strikes! It makes you wonder how long it will be until Ryder falls victim to it?

Vinegar: Tacker has a hold of Ryder’s head, and he slams it into his knees!

Covert Jay: Busted nose!

Vinegar: Ryder has indeed started bleeding from his nose after that last shot! That just proves how violent Kyle Tacker can be at the best of times.

Lieberjosch: It seems as if Russo is distracted by a Brunette in the audience. They’re saying something to each other, and Russo looks displeased about something she’s been saying.

Vinegar: I don’t see what that has to do with the match as Tacker unloads with those forearm shots to the face of Ryder. Placing him back on his feet, and taking him down with a short arm clothesline! What impact!

Covert Jay: Discussion’s getting pretty heated at ringside.

Lieberjosch: What the hell could they even be talking about over there?

Vinegar: Well, the ref has noticed the argument and gone over to sort it out.

Covert Jay: Ninja concealment!

Vinegar: Tacker has pulled out those brass knuckles! HE SLAMS THEM INTO THE JAW OF RYDER!!!!

Covert Jay: Chartreuse has seen it!

DING! DING!

Dennis: Ladies and Gentlemen, your winner by Disqualification.....DUNCAN RYYYYYYYYDER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Vinegar: Tacker staring angrily at the referee, you have to think that he feels cheated in some way.

Lieberjosch: Hey, where’d that brunette girl go?

Covert Jay: Russo is a confused Ninja...

Vinegar: As quick as she came, she was gone. The girl that in effect, ruined Tacker’s chance of winning, has left the building it appears. Stay with us, ladies and gentlemen, more action right after this!

[T-Robosaurus Rex]

Vinegar: Welcome back, Ladies and gentlemen. As you know, JK has implied that he attacked Jet’s best friend Gian, as well as attacking Paul Cockatoo. We have found Jet, as he looks for Gian, and we take you there now.

Jet bursts through the doors to the empty Cafeteria, he looks around in a state of slight panic.

Jet: Gian??? Gian? Where are you???

Jet starts moving around the room, looking everywhere. He eventually gives up, and takes a seat in a nearby chair, rubbing his brow with his right hand.

Jet: I told you not to come, Gian! I told you that JK was threatening to hurt my friends....

JK: Boy, you’re easier to fool than I thought.

Jet turns around quickly to see JK leaning up against a table.

Jet: What did you do to Gian?

JK: Me? Nah, mate, I did nothing. Gian wasn’t even here. I just needed something to lure you here. Gian is your best friend, so I figured he’d be the guy you’d wanna protect the most.

Jet gets up defensively, as JK charges at him. They start brawling for a bit before JK sends him into a bench with a quick hip toss. He presses down on Jet’s chest with a knee, grabbing him by the scruff of his shirt, and raising a fist in preparation to strike, a pair of brass knuckles glinting on his fingers. Soon the doors bang wide open and Jasmine runs in, trying to pull JK off of Jet.

Jasmine: Jordan, no! Don’t do it!

JK swipes his hand back, not noticing it is Jasmine who is stopping him from attacking Jet. She cops a little bit of the knuckles, and falls down off of JK. Holding her head, and looking astonished at JK. JK is just absolutely shocked, and it is evident that he didn’t want to hurt Jasmine. JK lets go of Jet, and runs out of the room.

Jet: You ok, Jazz?

Jasmine: Yeah....I don’t think Jordan meant to do that....He always said that he would never intentionally hurt me.

Jet says nothing, and helps Jasmine to her feet as they exit the room.

[T-Robosaurus Rex]

Vinegar: And that was another thoroughly entertaining match.

Lieberjosch: Of course it was this entire show was booked by Travis Pierce and any match that has the involvement of the Human Resources Department is bound to be interesting.

Covert Jay: Resourced ninjas!

Vinegar: Well now we've got a match featuring no members of a cigar smoking penguins entourage.

Lieberjosch: Travis knows what he's doing...putting Tits Magoo and Duncan in the first couple of matches keeps people entertained through the rest of the show as they wait to see what Ms. Magoo isn't wearing in The Piercing Truth.

Covert Jay: Well she won't be wearing an orange thong!

Vinegar: As Hans and Jay high five each other let me remind everyone that we're set for a co-operative match as JK and Ezekiel take on Deimos and Medos.

*Chorus Of Angels.

Covert Jay: Here comes the Archangel that tore apart a family.


A hole opens up in the entrance ramp and Ezekiel slowly rises through it in a circular motion. His wings are folded back, almost flat against him. As the song picks up, his wings suddenly extend outward as pyro goes off all around him on the stage. He leans his head quickly to the left, then right, popping his neck.

Dennis: Introducing first from Los Angeles California The Archangel EZEEEEEKIEEEEEEL PAAAAAAAAXXXXXX!!

He walks down towards the ring as the music continues to play as his wings fold back into place. Ezekiel puts his hands into a praying motion before thrusting his arms downward, his wings spread and in one smooth motion he flies over the top rope and into the ring. His wings appear to fade out of sight as he climbs the turnbuckle and does the praying motion again before stepping down and stretching in the corner.




*In The Veins Of Death Valley.

Covert Jay: And the man with no family himself!



The lights flicker to green and gold as JK walks through the curtain and out onto the entrance way, to a loud chorus of booing, which seems to be emulating JK sombre mood. JK looks up at the fans as he holds up an open hand, queuing fireworks to go off in set locations around the arena.

Dennis: And his co-op partner from Townsville Australia he is The Cyclone JAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYY KAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYY!!

JK continues down to the ring, looking out upon the sea of former fans, with many in the front row not even holding their hands out. JK slides into the ring before climbing the turnbuckle and doing signature five finger pose.




*Phucking Phreak.

Covert Jay: Deimos looking to rebuild after Infinity.

Dennis: And their opponents introducing first PHRIIIXXXXUSSSSS DEEEEEIIIIIIMMOOOOOSSSSSSSS!!

Phrixus Deimos walks out onto the entranceway with evil intentions on his mind before slithering down to the ring.

*Firefly.

Covert Jay: Medos's one fan must be happy to see him tonight.



The lights dim to a near blackout, as all you can see on the Titantron is the words: "He Is Here!" Suddenly, an explosion erupts from the stage as "Firefly" by Breaking Benjamin starts up. Medos appears just as the chorus starts. He walks to the front of the stage, looks around, raises one hand up slowly, then throws it down as yet another explosion appears from behind him.

Dennis: And his opponent MEEEDDDDOOOOOOSSSSSS!!

The screen is showing Medos wrestling with several other wrestlers from previous matches. Medos carries on walking down, he slaps hands with one fan, and walks past the others. He rolls into the ring, and towards an turnbuckle. He points at the fans, raises his hand to his forehead, sticks his index and middle finger out, and salutes the fans. He then prepares himself.




Vinegar: All four competitors are in the ring now and we are set for a great match.

Lieberjosch: All thanks to the HRD.

Vinegar: Are you trying to get a spot with them?

Lieberjosch: The HRD is where its at Nick!

Covert Jay: Huttah JK has started this match out with a Ninja esque headlock takedown.

Vinegar: Medos is quick to fight free though and both men are back to their feet. Medos with a wild swing there but JK avoids the lariat attempt and they've locked up. Medos quick with a jawbreaker that sends JK back into the ropes.

Covert Jay: Ninja charging in with a clothesline.

Lieberjosch: JK sidesteps...Im surprised he can stop thinking about how much he misses his jailbait wife and daughter.

Vinegar: Medos throat first into the top rope and JK plants him with a reverse DDT.

Covert Jay: Tag to the Archangel.

Lieberjosch: Look at that rube...with his big fake wings.

Covert Jay: He's an Archangel!

Lieberjosch: Well I'll admit he did just fly...

Vinegar: Zeke flying into the ring there off the top rope and takes Medos down with a missile dropkick executed perfectly. Ezekiel now stalking Medos waiting for him to get to his feet.

Covert Jay: NINJAAAAAA CLINCH!

Lieberjosch: That's a Muay Thai clinch you idjut!

Vinegar: Ezekiel driving knee after knee into the face of Medos before dropping him with a stiff elbow.

Covert Jay: Ezekiel now gazing up at the heavens.

Vinegar: Medos crawling up onto his knees and Zeke quickly shooting in and attempting the Soulbreaker.

Lieberjosch: That gullotine choke is a deadly move...but Medos is fighting it so far.

Vinegar: Medos breaking free and quickly tagging in Deimos putting a grin on the face of the former number one contender who charges in with a rolling neckbreaker.

Covert Jay: He pulls Zeke to his feet and snaps off a back suplex and hold him for the pin.

Green: 1










2










Vinegar: God is on Zeke's side as he kicks out and he's attempting the Soulbreaker once more.

Covert Jay: Quickly trying to lock it in but Deimos struggling to his feet and he shoves Zeke away before taking him down with a firemans carry.

Vinegar: And chains through to a cross armbreaker.

Lieberjosch: I told you guys the HRD makes good cards!

Vinegar: Zeke gets to the ropes quickly though and forcing Sam Green to step in and break the hold. Both wrestlers quickly back off and they square off...Deimos with a spear...

Covert Jay: GREAT ODINS RAVEN!!

Vinegar: Zeke drove his knee right into the top of Deimo's head and both men are down.

Lieberjosch: Head vs. Knee and I think the knee won there just...Zeke was still sent cartwheeling off his feet.

Covert Jay: That was better than a Michael Bay explosion.

Vinegar: You mean movie?

Covert Jay: Nuttah.

Lieberjosch: Michael doesn't make movie's, he makes explosions that pretend to be a movie.

Vinegar: Folks we can take a shot at Michael Bays supposed movie's right now because all that's happening is both Deimos and Ezekiel are crawling towards their corners.

Covert Jay: Does he know what a plot is?

Lieberjosch: Nope!

Covert Jay: Not even a short story?

Lieberjosch: Nope.

Vinegar: …

Vinegar: Ezekiel makes the tag as Deimos is reaching but a school boy pin from JK stops that.

Green: 1










2










Vinegar: Deimos kicks out but JK is quickly on the attack like a cyclone taking Phruxis down with a series of clotheslines.

Covert Jay: And now a quick DDT and another cover.

Green: 1










2










Covert Jay: Deimos kicks out and is now being pulled to his feet but he strikes like a NINJAAAAAAAAAA!!

Vinegar: With an inside cradle?

Green: 1










2










Lieberjosch: Both men quickly back up and a neckbreaker from Deimos takes JK down.

Vinegar: Both men moving a little bit quicker this time!

Covert Jay: What about Bad Boys II...that got mentioned in Hot Fuzz so it must be good...right?

Lieberjosch: It had its moments.

Vinegar: JK makes the tag and Deimos is so close...

Lieberjosch: Cut off at the last moment again...hahahahahaha...ooo

Vinegar: Ezekiel attempted to pull him away from his corner but Deimos just took him out with a Death Valley Driver!

Covert Jay: Ninja style...that's how they do it in Japan!

Vinegar: And finally Deimos makes the tag. Medos climbing the tope rope...and he comes leaping off...

Lieberjosch: Hahahahahaha!

Vinegar: Zeke rolled out of the way of the leg drop attempt and he's got a hold of Medos and quickly locks in the Soulbreaker.

Covert Jay: Medos fighting...fighting...and tapping!

Lieberjosch: This one is all over...thankyou to the HRD for putting together this match!

Vinegar: Suck up!

Lieberjosch: Hey well I'm sure that part of the welcoming committee to the HRD is getting to feel up Gabby...so can you blame me?

Covert Jay: THANKYOU HRD FOR THE GREAT MATCH!

Vinegar: How do I get stuck with you people.

Lieberjosch: You must be gay!

Dennis: Here are your winners The Cyclone and The Archangel!

Lieberjosch: Sounds like a sitcom...

[T-Robosaurus Rex]

Vinegar: So it's time for the last match of the night, which is traditionally the Main Event, but that billing has been given over to a live broadcast of TPT, which is frankly a ludicrous ego rub for individuals who are in no need of such treatment.

Lieberjosch: You're a moron, the HRD came together because of a lack of respect and exposure, and Travis Pierce made it possible for all of them to get the recognition they deserve, and I have a feeling people are also beginning to respect them now. They are clearly the way forward for this company.

Vinegar: They're nothing more than a group of thugs with some pull, there is nothing special about them, we've seen it all before. Luckily the following match only has the loosest of connections to the Human Resource Department, Tyvola is, I guess, Gabrielle's boyfriend....

Dennis: The following match is scheduled for One Fall and is a Triple Threat Match.

“Given to Fly”

Dennis: Introducing first from Australia, ENNNNNIIIIIGGGGGMMMMAAAAA!!!

Vinegar: Enigma has had one hell of a month so far, first his long time friend turns on him, then he becomes implicated in Donovan Hastings fruit loop Witch Hunt, over what was clearly a technical glitch at Infinity. If someone was actually[ after Donovan more would have happened by now.

Lieberjosch: He better hope he has nothing to do with the X malarky, and that Donovan finds that out before Infinity....otherwise the Lord will give him one of the biggest beatings of his career.

Vinegar: Whatever happens, he'll have to keep one eye peeled for JK, I can't imagine he's going to keep his distance from Enigma for long. And what a match he has on his hands tonight, Hastings and Tyvola, he might well think he's the only sane person in the ring...

Covert Jay: Someone who finds inspiration from Jeff Hardy...Sane?

Vinegar: Point taken.

“Come Together”

Dennis: Introducing next, from Jwar Isle....TTTTTTYYYYYYYYVVVVVVOOOOOLLLLAAAAA!!!

Vinegar: People have started to ask have the affections of The First Lady of the HRD affected Tyvola's output, has he gone a little bit soft in the face of...love, if you could call it that.

Lieberjosch: Don't underestimate the Homicidal Hobo, maybe he was preoccupied with the hunt, but victory will be focused on his mind. Just take a gander at how he's looking at Enigma...like a chicken wing ready to snap in half.

Vinegar: He is looking intense.

Covert jay: I'd have said hairy.

Vinegar: He needs to gain some focus, he will be facing the very object of his dubious affections at Day of Reckoning with a shot at The World Heavyweight Championship on the line, it is easily the biggest match of his career, and he may not get another. Insane, homeless and unkempt individuals generally only get one shot at the big time.

Lieberjosch: I think he's had a lot of practice at getting Gabby on her back.

“Ripper”

Dennis: Introducing the final participant, from up his own ass, DOOOOOOONNNNNNOOOOVVVAAAANNN HHHAAAAASSSSSTTTTTIIIIINNNGGGGSSS!!!

Vinegar: Hastings is convinced Enigma has something to do with events at Infinity and he is rocketing towards that ring at high speed.

Lieberjosch: He's probably got a fair few questions for him.

Vinegar: I think that's the quickest I've ever seen Hastings enter the ring, he really is convinced in some kind of paranoid plot against him, but clearly Tyvola is disinterested at best, and he just steps in front of Enigma and scoops Hastings up into a powerful body slam. Glenn Burke decides it;s time to ring the bell..

Covert Jay: Enigma leaps up onto Tyvola's back....CRUCIFIX PIN!

1..




2...



Lieberjosch: Tyvola with far too much power kicks out, both men get back to their feet, but Donovan Hastings is already on his, and he drives a knee into Tyvola's skull before heading towards Enigma...

Covert Jay: ENZIGURI!

Vinegar: Hastings now on the floor...Enigma jumps to the top rop...Tyvola to his feet...FLYING CROSSBODY!

Lieberjosch: Hastings to his feet and able to pull Enigma from any potential covering opportunity. He drags Enigma up, and slaps him around the face, before shoving him into the corner...

Vinegar: Tyvola however rises behind him, and then slams him to the ground with a fearsome Full Nelson Slam, Hastings' head bouncing off the canvas on impact...

Lieberjosch: Tyvola steps over Hastings, and bears ghis teeth in a strange smile as he stalks over to Enigma, who scrambles from the corner, and quickly crawls underneath the Hardcore Hobo's leg's, then runs the ropes...

Vinegar: Flying forearm, but it only gets Tyvola's rocking...

Covert Jay: Enigma runs to the ropes again...springboard....DDT!!!

Vinegar: Enigma goes for the cover...

Lieberjosch: but once again Hastings is there to break the count, and this time he heaves Enigma up, and then hits a bruising German Suplex, and he turns as Tyvola gets to his feet, and takes him down again with a Russian leg Sweep...

Vinegar: Hastings back on Enigma now, and he gets on his back and locks in a Camel Clutch, all the while screaming into his ear, demanding answers for his own delusional injustices...he's straining back on Enigma who is in the centre of the ring, he's no escape route...

Covert Jay: Apart from Tyvola's size twenty-seven boot, which slams into the back of Hastings' head...

Lieberjosch: Tyvola, brushes Hastings aside and drags Enigma up, but Enigma has enough about him to land a cheap shot to JoJi's Gabby pleaser, and as the big man leans forward, he grabs his face and slams both knee's into it whilst falling backwards...

Vinegar: Enigma back on his feet, and quickly grabs the rising Hastings and hits a snap suplex...a second rope moonsault follows...

Lieberjosch: but Hastings gets his knee's up just in time, and Enigma falls to the canvas clutching his midsection as Donovan gets himself to his feet...

Vinegar: Tyvola however is on his feet to, and Donovan turns to see that big boot coming back at him...

Lieberjosch: But Hastings manages to stand aside causing Ty' to lose his balance, and Hastings uses that to drive his head into the mat with a crunching bulldog.

Vinegar: Enigma getting to his feet...

Lieberjosch: Hastings upon him though, goes for a Belly-to-Belly..

Vinegar: Enigma blocks it...knee's Hastings in the stomach...Double Underhook DDT!! And the cover!




1....










2...











Lieberjosch: No! Tyvola plucks Enigma off of Hastings'...drags him up...CATASTROPHIC CAVE IN CAUSER!!!

Covert Jay: Enigma could well be dead...

Vinegar: Hastings getting to his feet...

Lieberjosch: But is taken straight back down as Tyvola turns and hits the Wrong Way War Hammer!

Vinegar: JoJi turning back to Enigma who is surprisingly trying to get back to his feet...but Tyvola is upon him...

Lieberjosch: sugaM[/i]

Covert Jay: It's over...

Lieberjosch: NO! Hastings taking desperate measures, and lunges out, grabs Tyvola by the hair, and manages to toss the big man over the top rope, using the ropes, momentum and his own body...

Vinegar: Hastings staggers over...he's going to steal the win...WHAT!

Covert Jay: Lights are out....GLOBATRON!

X
Gon' Give It To Ya'

Vinegar: Look...there is a single strobe light and it's focused on Donovan Hastings...who gets to his feet with a look of confusion and anger...

Covert Jay: And the lights come back on...

Vinegar: And Tyvola is back in the ring...

Lieberjosch: MAGUS!

Vinegar: Tyvola covers Hastings...



1....







2....







3!!!

Dennis: here is your winner, TTTTTYYYYVVVVOOOOOOLLLLAAAA!!!

Vinegar: Tyvola goes into Day of Reckoning with an impressive victory, but god only knows what Donovan Hastings will be thinking when he comes around. It's the final TPT Live before the Pay-Per-View next.

[T-Robosaurus Rex]

The arena has gone dark and there is a murmur in the crowd, broken as a spotlight shines on the stage, revealing Rob Cartwright.

Cartwright: Ladies and gentlemen, the Human Resources Department is proud to present…THE PIERCING TRUTH!

“You Know My Name” begins to play, and the lights rise on the ring, revealing the set of The Piercing Truth. The lights are still dim enough that you cannot see the people in the ring.

Cartwright: And the host of The Piercing Truth…TRAVIS PIERCE!!!!!!!!!!!!

The lights fully reveal Pierce sitting behind the desk, wearing a black tuxedo and bow tie.

Pierce: Thank you very much, and welcome to another special LIVE! Edition of The Piercing Truth. I am Travis Pierce, and after a very special edition last week that was wonderfully guest hosted by the Thames Valley Hit Squad, I return as your host for the evening. Obviously we’ve got a lot to cover here tonight, but no show would be complete without…top stories!

The monitor shows a blank tournament bracket.

Pierce: This week, millions of people will be filling out their NCAA Basketball Tournament brackets, and most of them will be broken by the end of the first day when a two or three seed gets upset by some school you’ve never heard of, like Wofford, or wherever Jet Somers went. The piercing truth is that there is only one sure bet to make this week, and that is that Travis Pierce will defeated Jet Somers next week at Day of Reckoning in a Napoleon’s Revenge match to become the new World Heavyweight Champion. Take it to Vegas.

The monitor shows Kirk Herbstreit.

Pierce: In a related story, ESPN college basketball analyst Kirk Herbstreit has been forced to move himself and his family from their Ohio home as the local Ohio State fans are upset that he isn’t more biased towards their university, which is his own alma mater. Of course, Jet Somers will probably want to leave the country entirely after I’ve thoroughly embarrassed him at Day of Reckoning.

Pierce stands up from the desk, the microphone in his hand.

Pierce: Without further ado, let’s take a moment and meet the rest of the team that is making Day of Reckoning the must-watch can’t-miss event of the year.

“What You Want” begins to play and Gabrielle walks out atop the entranceway giving a quick twirl before tussling her hair and making her way down to the ring.

Pierce: The new World Heavyweight Champion is going to need a challenger that is worthy of him, and I can’t think of anybody I’d rather be rolling around with No Holds Barred than GABRIELLE MONTGOMERY!!!

“Quick Death” begins to play, and Johnny Blake and Duncan Ryder follow Gabrielle to the ring.

Pierce: You underestimated them their entire careers, they’ve been saddled with ridiculous gimmicks, now they are the Cooperative Champions and are ready to take down another former championship partnership, JOHNNY BLAKE…DUNCAN RYDER…THE THAMES VALLEY HIT SQUAD!!!!!!!

“Damage Inc” hits, and Robert Ooley emerges on the stage, Boss P waddling alongside him, and Ooley shoulders his trademark baseball bat as he joins Pierce and the others in the ring.

Pierce: It’s all the brain-child of the man who is simply the Director himself, ROBERT OOLEY!!!!

Ooley shakes the hand of each member of the group in turn.

Pierce: Take a good look at this triumphant group, because you’re going to see a lot of it at Day of Reckoning, and every night after that! We ARE the Human Resources Department, and believe me you, we use our resources to their fullest capacity. So punch those tickets, pay those fees, Day of Reckoning is a night you will never forget, and remember! It's not my fault that...

"Everybody Down" suddenly blares over the PA system cutting PIerce's catchphrase short!

Liberjosch: There went the ratings.

Vinegar: Yeah, right through the roof!

Jet Somers walks out, World Championship gleaming around his waist, grinning his goofy grin and doing a deliberate slow clap.

Somers: Brilliant. Just brilliant. It really has been an entertaining month watching you all out there putting on your little show. Come on everyone, round of applause!

Vinegar: The fans are kind of clapping, not sure where Jet's going with this...

Somers: Of course, all good things come to an end, and since Travis Pierce promised that this would be the last live TPT show without him as World Champion, we must say goodbye to it's short run and move on.

Lieberjosch: That's presumptious.

Vinegar: He managed to put down Hastings and Deimos, I don't think it's presumptious at all.

Lieberjosch: The smirk on Pierce's face shows that he doesn't agree.

Somers: I hope you've all enjoyed yourselves. I know I haven't come out and said much, but I thought I'd let you crybabies have your day in the sun while you still could. Unfortunately, night has fallen on this little circus, and the new sun will rise on the Day of Reckoning.

Covert Jay: Ninjas wait for the opportune moment to strike.

Somers: Speaking of Day of Reckoning, does anyone feel like they've already seen it?

From behind the curtains emerge Dexter Vines, with a grin wider than the moon, and Moss Edwards who waves to the crowd.

Vinegar: Dexter Vines and Moss Edwards!?

Lieberjosch: Can't believe those failures would dare to show their faces.

Vines: I know I felt like we saw it here tonight, Jet.

Edwards: I could have sworn Ooley said last month not to give the pay per view matches away right before the big payoff? Especially Medos challenging Ezekiel... again. Honestly Travis, I think you were a little lazy with tonight's event. You basically copied the card for Day of Reckoning and moved around a couple of spots and changed the match formats. Too busy spying on other Entertainment Professionals from the air ducts this week?

Lieberjosch: It's a preview card, you morons!

Vinegar: As was the last Synergy before Infinity...

Vines: What was it you said last month, Ooley? "Giving away this match for free tonight was just fucking retarded, nothing can be salvaged now." Yeah, I think that's how you put it. Only your wonder boy there has given away the entire card. How can we possibly salvage this?

Lieberjosch: Tender your resignations? With cards like tonight's, you're obviously obsolete.

Somers: You know, I might have a few ideas. I've got plenty of money in the purse, why don't I shake things up a bit at Day of Reckoning? Let's see, Ezekiel and Medos, we pretty much just saw that last week, but it strikes me that there is somebody who has earned a shot and hasn’t gotten it yet, so let’s add Paul Cockatoo to the mix!

Lieberjosch: He can’t do that!

Vinegar: I think he just did!

Somers: The Coop championship, well, I like Kyle Tacker after all and he doesn't get to come into work often, why not make him feel at home? Let's make this a Barroom Brawl. The #1 Contender match, well, I certainly don't want my next challenger after Pierce to be as unkempt and dirty as those two are, so why not make this a Beards on the Line match up? Yes, if Gabrielle wins, she must shave Tyvola's unruly rat's nest on the very next Synergy. And if Tyvola wins, well, he'll get to get intimate with her bearded clam and a razor--

Vinegar: Edwards scribbling all this down on a clipboard, they're actually going to let him do this!

Covert Jay: Money talks, bullshit walks... on webbed feet... and carries an automatic weapon!

Vines: Uh... we might have to leave that one for a special DVD.

Somers: Fair enough. Now, for my own match. I have no idea what a Napolean's Revenge match is, and I'd bet the other half of my purse the only people who do belong to the HRD. Bit of an unfair advantage to have, Pierce, considering I'm such a horrible, boring champion.

Lieberjosch: There's a full description of the Napolean's Revenge match in my next book: "The Unreleased Articles."

Somers: So I thought I'd give myself a bit of an edge. Let me introduce the special guest referee.

"Teahouse" begins on the PA as the curtain parts and Alex Kiseragi rolls out in his wheelchair to a tremendous pop from the fans.

Lieberjosch: The Hit Squad falling over each other in the ring laughing, this is a bit ridiculous.

Somers: No, no, not Alex, I meant Brett and Trent West!

Alex rolls to one side as the giant twins emerge from backstage, ducking under the Globaltron, and stopping to glare into the ring with their arms crossed.

Vinegar: A-Kis's bodyguards from the Dragon's Cave!

Covert Jay: Why did everyone stop laughing, this is hilarious!

Somers: I figure that's one to officiate the match, and one to watch the outside to make sure no harlots, foreigners, or polar lifeforms decide to take it upon themselves to help their leader gain an unattainable victory. Of course, either of them can count the three, that goes without saying.

Covert Jay: Don't forget gypsies, tramps, and thieves!

Vines: Jet, you've spent G$6,000,000.

Somers: That leaves me a bit over $2,000,000... hmm. Oh, the Cross Hemisphere Championship. Let's go ahead and make Alan Fernandez the special referee for that one.

Covert Jay: And he even saves some for JK!

Vines: Done and done.

Edwards: Pleasure doing business with you, Jet.

"Everybody Down" plays again as Jet is shaking hands with a very satisfied looking Dexter Vines and Moss Edwards

Vinegar: I think he just bought them a little more respect in the boardroom.

Lieberjosch: Not that they had much left to begin with.

Vinegar: Regardless, Jet has bought back control of the Day of Reckoning!

[T-Robosaurus Rex]

Credits

Jet vs Gabby
JK

JK & Hastings
JK

Tacker vs Ryder
JK

Jet, JK & Jasmine
JK

Coop Match
DJS

Triple Threat
T-Rob

TPT Live
Pierce and Jet

[T-Robosaurus Rex]

Gotta say thanks to everyone who contributed this week, especially JK who put a lot into this weeks show and gave it some nice interludes.

Also I have to applaud Jet for his contribution this week, wasn't sure what to expect when he PM-ed us saying he had some idea for TPT this week involving his purse, but I have to say this was a great end to this months synergy's.

The month has been booked by Pierce, but Jet manages to get hold of some of the PPV, has a real nice symmetry to it.

[EZRA]

Very awesome show from beginning to end. JK, well done, bro. Very awesome segments as well as the matches you wrote.

DJS: I do believe you are the first person to use the Soulbreaker for a finish since Ezekiel added it to his moveset. Very awesome as well.

The TPT was good as usual with the references and quick jabs at people. Didn't expect most of the surprises that Jet brought to the table but it will make the PPV even more awesome.

[Jason Tacker]

Really enjoyable read and lead in into the ppv. Also loved the bit of one upsmanahip between Jet going over the HRDs head.

[Orgabsmic]

Great show guys, loved how Jet got one over the HRD (finally ) though I wonder what happens if Tyvola wins and finds no beard to shave off her clam...

Loved my match as well JK thanks for writing that.

Mar 14, 2011 21:22:49 GMT -5 EZRA said:

DJS: I do believe you are the first person to use the Soulbreaker for a finish since Ezekiel added it to his moveset. Very awesome as well.

Heh I ddint realise that.

[Travis Pierce]

This month was a real blast, thanks to everybody that was a part of it, I had a lot of fun! Ready to tear the house down with Jet next week!

Mar 15, 2011 7:32:39 GMT -5 Orgabsmic said:

I wonder what happens if Tyvola wins and finds no beard to shave off her clam....

You think it would faze him?

[Orgabsmic]

Mar 15, 2011 8:15:08 GMT -5 Travis Pierce said:

This month was a real blast, thanks to everybody that was a part of it, I had a lot of fun! Ready to tear the house down with Jet next week!

Mar 15, 2011 7:32:39 GMT -5 Orgabsmic said:

I wonder what happens if Tyvola wins and finds no beard to shave off her clam....

You think it would faze him?

Well Im sure he'd find other ways to occupy himself while there...though I wonder if Jet would be disapointed.

[Jet Somers]

Jet thinks it's sweet that Gabby is concerned for his feelings, lol.

Great show, glad everyone enjoyed the ending, it was expensive, lol. Here's to next week, good luck dude.