Post by brandonbrown on Jul 25, 2009 21:18:03 GMT -5
(The Scene starts with Brandon watching Darkwing Duck.)
Brandon: I love classic shows from the 90s. What the hell is Big B doing? It’s pretty dark in his room. I bet he is watching internet porn.
(Brandon looks into Big B’s room and Brandon is shocked by what he sees.)
Brandon: Big B, I can’t believe it.
Big B: It’s not what it looks like.
Brandon: You went behind my back. I can’t believe you would do this to me.
Big B: I’m sorry. I won’t do it again.
Brandon: I told you not to do this. You have failed me. I told you not to vote for any of the matches at In Your Hands.
Big B: I know but I couldn’t resist. I had the urge to vote. I wanted to use my right to vote for who I want in the matches at the PPV.
Brandon: But you don’t know who the right choices are for the PPV. I bet you made all of the wrong choices. Tell me, who did you vote for in all of the matches?
Big B: The first match I voted for the Restricted Destruction match.
Brandon: You idiot. That’s what they want you to vote for. You are playing into the company’s hand.
Big B: Does that mean that I’m not supposed to vote for the Tekin tag match?
Brandon: Did you vote for the Tekin tag match?
Big B: Yes.
Brandon: You fool. Your choices are all wrong. Who taught you how to vote?
Big B: What was I suppose to have voted for in the Joka vs. Savage match?
Brandon: Nobody cares about that match. You could have voted for anything.
Big B: I know what will make you happy. I voted for McSkinny.
Brandon: Are you fucking retarded? Everybody will vote for McSkinny. You are supposed to pick one of the other girls. You fail again.
Big B: What about Savana vs. Aragato? I voted for it to end with a knockout.
Brandon: Almost everybody will choose that. You have to select pinfall for that match.
Big B: What about the match where you choose the ref. I think I picked the right guy.
Brandon: Nobody cares about that match either.
Big B: How about the Hardcore title match? I did the right thing and I didn’t vote for the Last Man Standing match.
Brandon: What do you mean you didn‘t vote for the Last Man Standing match? That is the match you are supposed to choose. We have to see if they can match the awesomeness of me vs. Prescott. Which they can’t.
Big B: What about your match? Who am I supposed to choose?
Brandon: You aren’t supposed to choose anybody. That’s the trick. You see the fans love me so much that they won’t vote for that match. Nobody wants to see me face two guys. That is why on the night of the Pay Per View, you will see zero percent by everybody’s name.
Big B: Brandon, we have a problem.
Brandon: What?
Big B: I voted for somebody in your match.
Brandon: You what?
Big B: I’m sorry. I didn’t know that I wasn’t supposed to vote for that match. Please forgive me.
Brandon: You are a fucking dumbass. What the hell are we going to do? You can’t take back that vote.
Big B: I have an idea. I watched that movie Live Free or Die Hard the other day. We need to do one of those fire sales.
Brandon: Are you saying that we have to attack the infrastructure of the United States so that I don’t have to face two people at In Your Hands?
Big B: Exactly.
Brandon: Let’s do it.
(The scene changes and Big B and Brandon are now dressed like Batman and Fat Albert.)
Brandon: Why did you dress as Fat Albert?
Big B: He is a black icon.
Brandon: I just thought of something. How is changing into costumes going to help?
Big B: Nobody will think guys dressed as Batman and Fat Albert are going to do anything wrong.
Brandon: Damn it, you’re right. So, how are we going to do this?
Big B: I don’t know. We need to find some nerdy computer guy that can do this for us.
Brandon: Where are we going to find one of those?
Big B: I know somebody. I haven’t seen him in a long time but I bet I still know where to find him.
Brandon: Well, where does he live?
Big B: Ironically, he lives right over there.
Brandon: That’s convenient.
Big B: Hey, don’t you have a match you are supposed to be getting ready for?
Brandon: That match doesn’t matter to me. I don’t even like my two partners. We are still going to win though. What is this guy’s name anyways?
Big B: Waldo. (Knocks on the door to Waldo’s house.) Hello!
(Waldo’s wife opens the door.)
Waldo’s wife: I told you guys not to come until tomorrow.
Brandon: What are you talking about?
Waldo’s wife: Never mind. You aren’t who I thought you were.
Brandon: Don’t computer nerds live with their parents instead of having a hot wife?
Waldo’s wife: He is a successful computer nerd.
Brandon: So you married him for the money. You are one smart women.
Waldo’s wife: Yeah, I’m having an affair with the guy next door.
Brandon: Whatever suits you. We’re going to talk to Waldo.
(Brandon and Big B head into Waldo’s room.)
Waldo: Why are you guys dressed like Batman and Fat Albert?
Brandon: We’ll be asking the questions around here.
Big B: Yeah. Do you remember the show Cousin Skeeter?
Waldo: Was that the show that had the main character as a talking puppet?
Big B: Yeah. Wasn’t that a good show?
Waldo: It was okay.
Brandon: I’ll be asking the questions from now on. Waldo, we need you to shut down all the main computers in the United States.
Waldo: That’s not a question and I won’t shut down the main computers in the United States.
Brandon: How about just in the state of California?
Waldo: What’s in California?
Brandon: Global Impact Wrestling.
Waldo: I watch that. Why didn’t you just ask me to shut down their computer?
Brandon: I didn’t think about that. Would you do that?
Waldo: Nope, I still wondering why Batman and Fat Albert want me to take down a wrestling company.
Brandon: You see they are having this pay per view called In Your Hands where the fans vote.
Waldo: I voted on that.
Brandon: Did you vote on every match?
Waldo: Yes.
Brandon: You dumbass. You aren’t supposed to vote on the main event.
Waldo: Are you Brandon Brown?
Brandon: No, I’m the Batman.
Waldo: Why would Brandon Brown want to stop the fans from voting? I thought all good guy wrestlers loved a good challenge, no matter how many people there are.
Big B: He does have a good point there.
Brandon: Listen, you either shut down GIW’s main computer or I’ll tell you a secret about your wife.
Waldo: I’m not going to shut down GIW.
Brandon: Your wife is having an affair.
Waldo: What? This can’t be happening to me.
Brandon: Big B, we better go.
(Brandon and Big B leave. They are now seen heading to the GIW Arena.)
Brandon: Waldo’s wife was hot. I wish I would have gotten to her before the guy next door.
Big B: You think Waldo has changed his mind. I’ll call him.
(Big B dials Waldo.)
: Hello.
Big B: Hello, is Waldo there?
: No, this is the police.
Big B: I must have dialed 911 by accident.
Police: No, you have the right number. Waldo killed his wife and the next door neighbor. That is why the police is here.
Big B: He must not have been happy that she was having an affair.
Police: That must have been his motivation. Thanks for telling us that information. If you see Waldo, call the police.
Big B: I will. Goodbye.
Police: Goodbye.
(Big B hangs up.)
Big B: Brandon, Waldo killed his wife and the next door neighbor.
Brandon: I changed my mind. I’m glad I didn’t get to his wife first. Well, that is unfortunate. It may be our faults but we have a GIW main computer to destroy.
Big B: How and when are we going to do that?
Brandon: I have no idea how but I think we will try next week.
(A car pulls up.)
Waldo: You guys still want to take down the United States.
(To be continued)
Will Brandon and Big B team up with Waldo?
Will the police ever find Waldo?
Will Brandon win his match this week?
Will Brandon be able to take down the GIW’s main computer?
Find out in next week’s crazy Brandon promo.
Brandon: I love classic shows from the 90s. What the hell is Big B doing? It’s pretty dark in his room. I bet he is watching internet porn.
(Brandon looks into Big B’s room and Brandon is shocked by what he sees.)
Brandon: Big B, I can’t believe it.
Big B: It’s not what it looks like.
Brandon: You went behind my back. I can’t believe you would do this to me.
Big B: I’m sorry. I won’t do it again.
Brandon: I told you not to do this. You have failed me. I told you not to vote for any of the matches at In Your Hands.
Big B: I know but I couldn’t resist. I had the urge to vote. I wanted to use my right to vote for who I want in the matches at the PPV.
Brandon: But you don’t know who the right choices are for the PPV. I bet you made all of the wrong choices. Tell me, who did you vote for in all of the matches?
Big B: The first match I voted for the Restricted Destruction match.
Brandon: You idiot. That’s what they want you to vote for. You are playing into the company’s hand.
Big B: Does that mean that I’m not supposed to vote for the Tekin tag match?
Brandon: Did you vote for the Tekin tag match?
Big B: Yes.
Brandon: You fool. Your choices are all wrong. Who taught you how to vote?
Big B: What was I suppose to have voted for in the Joka vs. Savage match?
Brandon: Nobody cares about that match. You could have voted for anything.
Big B: I know what will make you happy. I voted for McSkinny.
Brandon: Are you fucking retarded? Everybody will vote for McSkinny. You are supposed to pick one of the other girls. You fail again.
Big B: What about Savana vs. Aragato? I voted for it to end with a knockout.
Brandon: Almost everybody will choose that. You have to select pinfall for that match.
Big B: What about the match where you choose the ref. I think I picked the right guy.
Brandon: Nobody cares about that match either.
Big B: How about the Hardcore title match? I did the right thing and I didn’t vote for the Last Man Standing match.
Brandon: What do you mean you didn‘t vote for the Last Man Standing match? That is the match you are supposed to choose. We have to see if they can match the awesomeness of me vs. Prescott. Which they can’t.
Big B: What about your match? Who am I supposed to choose?
Brandon: You aren’t supposed to choose anybody. That’s the trick. You see the fans love me so much that they won’t vote for that match. Nobody wants to see me face two guys. That is why on the night of the Pay Per View, you will see zero percent by everybody’s name.
Big B: Brandon, we have a problem.
Brandon: What?
Big B: I voted for somebody in your match.
Brandon: You what?
Big B: I’m sorry. I didn’t know that I wasn’t supposed to vote for that match. Please forgive me.
Brandon: You are a fucking dumbass. What the hell are we going to do? You can’t take back that vote.
Big B: I have an idea. I watched that movie Live Free or Die Hard the other day. We need to do one of those fire sales.
Brandon: Are you saying that we have to attack the infrastructure of the United States so that I don’t have to face two people at In Your Hands?
Big B: Exactly.
Brandon: Let’s do it.
(The scene changes and Big B and Brandon are now dressed like Batman and Fat Albert.)
Brandon: Why did you dress as Fat Albert?
Big B: He is a black icon.
Brandon: I just thought of something. How is changing into costumes going to help?
Big B: Nobody will think guys dressed as Batman and Fat Albert are going to do anything wrong.
Brandon: Damn it, you’re right. So, how are we going to do this?
Big B: I don’t know. We need to find some nerdy computer guy that can do this for us.
Brandon: Where are we going to find one of those?
Big B: I know somebody. I haven’t seen him in a long time but I bet I still know where to find him.
Brandon: Well, where does he live?
Big B: Ironically, he lives right over there.
Brandon: That’s convenient.
Big B: Hey, don’t you have a match you are supposed to be getting ready for?
Brandon: That match doesn’t matter to me. I don’t even like my two partners. We are still going to win though. What is this guy’s name anyways?
Big B: Waldo. (Knocks on the door to Waldo’s house.) Hello!
(Waldo’s wife opens the door.)
Waldo’s wife: I told you guys not to come until tomorrow.
Brandon: What are you talking about?
Waldo’s wife: Never mind. You aren’t who I thought you were.
Brandon: Don’t computer nerds live with their parents instead of having a hot wife?
Waldo’s wife: He is a successful computer nerd.
Brandon: So you married him for the money. You are one smart women.
Waldo’s wife: Yeah, I’m having an affair with the guy next door.
Brandon: Whatever suits you. We’re going to talk to Waldo.
(Brandon and Big B head into Waldo’s room.)
Waldo: Why are you guys dressed like Batman and Fat Albert?
Brandon: We’ll be asking the questions around here.
Big B: Yeah. Do you remember the show Cousin Skeeter?
Waldo: Was that the show that had the main character as a talking puppet?
Big B: Yeah. Wasn’t that a good show?
Waldo: It was okay.
Brandon: I’ll be asking the questions from now on. Waldo, we need you to shut down all the main computers in the United States.
Waldo: That’s not a question and I won’t shut down the main computers in the United States.
Brandon: How about just in the state of California?
Waldo: What’s in California?
Brandon: Global Impact Wrestling.
Waldo: I watch that. Why didn’t you just ask me to shut down their computer?
Brandon: I didn’t think about that. Would you do that?
Waldo: Nope, I still wondering why Batman and Fat Albert want me to take down a wrestling company.
Brandon: You see they are having this pay per view called In Your Hands where the fans vote.
Waldo: I voted on that.
Brandon: Did you vote on every match?
Waldo: Yes.
Brandon: You dumbass. You aren’t supposed to vote on the main event.
Waldo: Are you Brandon Brown?
Brandon: No, I’m the Batman.
Waldo: Why would Brandon Brown want to stop the fans from voting? I thought all good guy wrestlers loved a good challenge, no matter how many people there are.
Big B: He does have a good point there.
Brandon: Listen, you either shut down GIW’s main computer or I’ll tell you a secret about your wife.
Waldo: I’m not going to shut down GIW.
Brandon: Your wife is having an affair.
Waldo: What? This can’t be happening to me.
Brandon: Big B, we better go.
(Brandon and Big B leave. They are now seen heading to the GIW Arena.)
Brandon: Waldo’s wife was hot. I wish I would have gotten to her before the guy next door.
Big B: You think Waldo has changed his mind. I’ll call him.
(Big B dials Waldo.)
: Hello.Big B: Hello, is Waldo there?
: No, this is the police.Big B: I must have dialed 911 by accident.
Police: No, you have the right number. Waldo killed his wife and the next door neighbor. That is why the police is here.
Big B: He must not have been happy that she was having an affair.
Police: That must have been his motivation. Thanks for telling us that information. If you see Waldo, call the police.
Big B: I will. Goodbye.
Police: Goodbye.
(Big B hangs up.)
Big B: Brandon, Waldo killed his wife and the next door neighbor.
Brandon: I changed my mind. I’m glad I didn’t get to his wife first. Well, that is unfortunate. It may be our faults but we have a GIW main computer to destroy.
Big B: How and when are we going to do that?
Brandon: I have no idea how but I think we will try next week.
(A car pulls up.)
Waldo: You guys still want to take down the United States.
(To be continued)
Will Brandon and Big B team up with Waldo?
Will the police ever find Waldo?
Will Brandon win his match this week?
Will Brandon be able to take down the GIW’s main computer?
Find out in next week’s crazy Brandon promo.