Post by Red Bull Icon on Jul 25, 2009 21:25:13 GMT -5
(Our scene opens to the inside of a busy bar. A Lynyrd Skynyrd cover band is butchering ‘Sweet Home Alabama’ as the heavily tattooed waitress makes her rounds while repeatedly rubbing the back of her head. We follow the young barmaid as she expertly weaves through the crowd of college aged party goers. We bare witness as one of the faux-hawked twerps wearing his newest Affliction shirt decides it would be a good idea after she brought him and his cronies a fresh round to give her her tip by slowly sliding a folded bill into her denim back pocket. She gives the kid a frustrated smirk, tips the pitcher on its side causing the freshmen and his friends to wear their cheap beer before she walks off. We try to continue tracing her path but our vision is engulfed by the sight of a very large and broad shouldered man wearing a ‘Hells Angels’ biker vest walking towards the group of miscreants.)
Hells Angel; “Can’t hold your liquor can’t stay.”
(The kid thinks about trying to state his case, but decides his 3 month degree isn’t going to be enough and the group stand up to quietly leave. Once gone the bouncer wipes down the table, and we resume our search for the waitress. We spot her through the crowd standing at large round booth picking up empty glasses and taking the next rounds orders. The customers are clearly Brandon Brown, Chris Austin, and Randy Boolzian. Brandon seated in a wooden chair, tapping his foot and huddled over the table, sits across from Chris Austin who leans relaxed into the booth with his arms resting on the back as BoolZ sits on the other side of the booth with a brunette who snuggles up to him.)
BoolZ; “And we’ll need another two more Red Bulls.”
Waitress; “Sure thing, hun.”
(As she walks off to place the orders we stay focused on the conversations between Brown and Chris and BoolZ and the Brunette.)
BoolZ (To the brunette); “Oh, sh¡t. I’m sorry did you want another round, Gabby?”
Austin; “… and so now Cara has to hold some kind of tournament to find someone to take me on for my Hardcore Title?”
Brown; “And your point?”
Austin; “My point is every time someone thinks they have the answer to me, I beat their ass. Ten straight wins now, ten STRAIGHT! I am the only constant in the GIW, no matter what happens, no matter what people plan, I always handle mine, and I’ve handled mine to the point that I think I deserve the next Global Heavyweight Title shot… or Cara’s pussy. Either one, doesn’t really matter to me ‘cause sooner or later I’ll wear’em both out.”
Brown; “Well there it is, huh? I get screwed out of my belt, and there you are ready to swoop in. Once again I was beaten because my opponent had help. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. I can’t be beaten one on one. This time it was Savage slimming his way back into my sights. You know Chris I’m half tempted to let you have the next shot just so I can kick that Nazi’s teeth down his throat, but I think he’ll be busy with Joka and White. So I guess I’ll have to just make sure Deathmans’ reign lasts about as long as Declans’.”
(As the band mercifully lets ‘Sweet Home Alabama’ rest, they kick into ‘Freebird’ as Gabby holds most of RBIs’ attention while whispering in his ear, and the waitress brings the next round and a piece of folded paper which she slides to Chris Austin. BoolZs’ eyes widen at something Gabby said, he looks around briefly, then places one Red Bull on top of the other. Gabby smirks and slyly puts her hand under the table. As her smirk turns the biggest smile we’ve seen in awhile and her cheeks blush just enough.)
Austin; “You know Brown, you need to quit making excuses. Yeah, you got screwed or whatever. We’ve heard it before. Just invoke that damned rematch clause, and get out of my way. Hell I’ve won a match that Savage either special ref’ed or special enforced. You know it didn’t matter. He was just one more punk to get smacked if he got in my way. Just one more name to add to the list of the ten.”
Brown; “Oh yeah, and what an impressive list. I bet it was real hard starting a win streak against a bunch of nobodies. Why don’t you defend your title against somebody who can fight? I’ve seen you beat loser after loser. Yeah, you won ten straight matches, but against nobodies. Plus this whole b.s. about streaks is a joke. Yeah you’ve won ten straight. Sean Jensen’s on a streak too, but he had to beat up his little brother to get there. Plus ten straight wins, and you still havn’t cracked the Global Championship tier yet. What does that say about your streak?”
Austin; “Brandon, I beat whoever they put in my way. I have even beaten Lord Deathman before in a battle royal, the same man who just laid your ass out and took your belt. I have beaten Savage twice, and kicked out of the same move that basically put you down. I have beaten Sean twice, the only man on a streak besides me. I have beaten Hastings twice as well. Hell I fight these people in HARDCORE environments! That means they can use any weapon they want to try to get the job done. But usually I just take those weapons, bloody my opponent, win my match, and leave. No excuses. I give my opponents every advantage in the world. I bleed almost every week, I’ve gone through tables, chairs, tacks. I’ve been stabbed with a screwdriver, and I still stand with this belt on my shoulder as I ‘Roxy’ another girlfriend, or sister, or daughter.”
(BoolZ finishes the first Red Bull paying more attention to Gabby then the team meeting. BoolZ lights a cigarette as he pops open the other Red Bull, and Gabby pulls him up out of his seat.)
Brown; “Wow, you beat Deathman in a battle royal where you didn’t even throw him over. I would give you the assist however. I won a fatal four way match with Deathman in it. ME. I’ve beaten Savage, Jensen, and Hastings. All of them in actual straight up wrestling matches. None of that sh¡t hardcore crap. Hardcore wrestling is crap. I’m a real wrestler. The Hardcore Title is a joke, and so is your streak. You can brag about being stabbed with a screwdriver all you want, you can quote unquote ‘Roxy’ every skank you come across, you can take pride in knowing you were the best…THE BEST number two man in the company. But at the end of the day it all means absolutely nothing unless you’ve been the best. Undeniably, undisputed, undoubtedly the best, and the only way to do that is to be the Global Heavyweight Champion!”
(Before being dragged off with Gabby BoolZ stops, and turns back to the table as Brandon finishes.)
BoolZ; “Wait hold on I gotta jump in here. First off Hardcore wrestling is the epitome of what competition is all about. It’s you versus him with no restraints. No weird little stipulations or loopholes. It’s just combat at its purest form. Besides you’re both ignoring the only streak that matters. My undefeated streak. Four wins outta four matches. I ain’t lost yet, and considering two of my wins come from two thirds of our opponents this week I don’t think I’ll be losing anytime soon. I mean it’s a fact Roberts and I handed Cara’s V.D. their first lose. Hell it was their first match, we got torpedoed into wrestling, and they still couldn’t pull it off. Yeah that was me ruining their debut. Then it was me by myself, thanks for the help by the way, facing Aragato with his ox, and the leader of the Goofy Ducks pulling out another win. Slammin’ the door on those Gross Drunks as they tried for some kinda revenge. After that it was Cara’s hand picked hitman. The man she was ready to return to her whorish roots to try to convince to take me out. What happened? He turned down his turn on the Cara-go-down, and lost the match. Y’all need to get over yourselves, and realize I got this covered.”
(Brandon Brown and Chris Austin sit silent for a moment. Almost in shock they look at each other baffled. Then it happens.)
Austin; “What the fµck do you know rookie?”
Brown; “Yeah some streak you’re on. Every match, every win, every week you get dumped on your head and laid out.”
Austin; “And talk about nobodies. Who hasn’t beaten Aragato? Who even remembers the name of your first opponent? Who got the pin when ‘you’ won that tag match?”
Brown; “Yeah no sh¡t. All you’ve done since day one was drink your Red Bull, try to catch up to Austin’s pussy count, and get peeled off the mat after someone leaves you out cold.”
(Brown and Austin turn back to each other.)
Brown/Austin; “Do you believe this guy?”
(Gabby can’t help but laugh at BoolZ’s expense as he quietly, calmly, took the momentary barrage.)
BoolZ; “Alright good. Now that we’re back on the same page you think we can get outta here, and back to work?”
Austin; “Oh look at the little shot caller.”
(Standing up as he reaches into his pocket.)
Brown; “Yeah, pretty slick rook. Alright numbers for who pays the tab.”
(Brown pulls out a wad of crumpled little pieces of paper as Austin does the same. After a quick count.)
Austin; “17 phone numbers. Not bad for a couple hours of hanging out.”
Brown; “Uh, 15 numbers, a hotel room key, and a card from the bouncer.”
BoolZ; “That big ugly Hells Angels bouncer!”
(As everyone laughs but Brandon Brown.)
BoolZ; “Wait a minute, where was I when Brandon was admitting the truth?”
Brown; “Yeah, yeah, very funny. Still counts jackholes, what do you got BoolZ?”
(Austin raises an eyebrow, gets an even more smug look on his face, and then smiles. He sniffles briefly before adjusting his legs, so a perfectly breasted blonde can exit from under the table.)
Austin; “You were in the pisser. You should have seen it. He winked at Brown.”
(Brandon stands silent as BoolZ reaches into his pocket, and throws three pair of panties on the table. Gabby looks at BoolZ disapprovingly.)
Brown; “What the hell? Those don’t look like numbers.”
BoolZ; “Yeah, I’ll pay the bill. I aint ever been to good with number games, but you can’t argue against my results.”
Austin; “Rookie! Is that a skid mark?”
BoolZ; “Well not really. I chili dogged her, and well yeah.”
(Increasingly upset.)
Gabby; “Chili dogged?”
BoolZ; “Uh, yeah, maybe you shouldn’t be hearing this. Screw it. It’s the guy is giving it to the women so good she loses control of certain… bodily uh…”
(With a quick slap across the face of BoolZ.)
Gabby; “Yeah you can stop. I don’t want to hear anymore, man slut.”
Brown; “Wait some bitch just… all over. Nevermind, doesn’t that freak you out. It’s kinda gross.”
(As Austin chuckles to himself before dismissing the blond.)
BoolZ; “No, it’s not really that bad. You get used to it. If you’re gonna ‘donkeypunch’ you gotta except the consequences.”
Brown; “Donkeypunch?”
Austin; “Brandon, you would imagine giving it to that bouncer right. Doggy like, then just before you cum you reach up, hit that bitch at the base of her skull, and hold on!”
Brown; “You two are sick. BoolZ you make sure to tag Austin during our match. You keep your used Band-Aid hand away from me.”
Austin; “What ever. I’m not sick, I’m hardcore.”
BoolZ; “Yeah, I aint arguing against that just like you can’t argue against my results.”
Austin; “I got an argument. Pay the bill.”
(A quiet smile comes over the face of RBI, as he picks up his trophies, and reaches for this wallet. Austin and Brown start for the door.)
Brown; “And, uh, don’t forget Big B.”
(The smile quickly vanishes as BoolZ snaps his head in the direction of Big Bs’ table. We see in all his glory countless empty pitchers on the table, another two one in each hand, and Big B loving every second of ‘Freebird’ in it’s ninth minute. A look of panic hits BoolZ as he turns back to Austin and Brown.)
BoolZ; “Hey, it’s not like I make championship money!”
(Our scene ends as Austin and Brown exit the bar laughing at the rookie while BoolZ checks his wallet.)
Hells Angel; “Can’t hold your liquor can’t stay.”
(The kid thinks about trying to state his case, but decides his 3 month degree isn’t going to be enough and the group stand up to quietly leave. Once gone the bouncer wipes down the table, and we resume our search for the waitress. We spot her through the crowd standing at large round booth picking up empty glasses and taking the next rounds orders. The customers are clearly Brandon Brown, Chris Austin, and Randy Boolzian. Brandon seated in a wooden chair, tapping his foot and huddled over the table, sits across from Chris Austin who leans relaxed into the booth with his arms resting on the back as BoolZ sits on the other side of the booth with a brunette who snuggles up to him.)
BoolZ; “And we’ll need another two more Red Bulls.”
Waitress; “Sure thing, hun.”
(As she walks off to place the orders we stay focused on the conversations between Brown and Chris and BoolZ and the Brunette.)
BoolZ (To the brunette); “Oh, sh¡t. I’m sorry did you want another round, Gabby?”
Austin; “… and so now Cara has to hold some kind of tournament to find someone to take me on for my Hardcore Title?”
Brown; “And your point?”
Austin; “My point is every time someone thinks they have the answer to me, I beat their ass. Ten straight wins now, ten STRAIGHT! I am the only constant in the GIW, no matter what happens, no matter what people plan, I always handle mine, and I’ve handled mine to the point that I think I deserve the next Global Heavyweight Title shot… or Cara’s pussy. Either one, doesn’t really matter to me ‘cause sooner or later I’ll wear’em both out.”
Brown; “Well there it is, huh? I get screwed out of my belt, and there you are ready to swoop in. Once again I was beaten because my opponent had help. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. I can’t be beaten one on one. This time it was Savage slimming his way back into my sights. You know Chris I’m half tempted to let you have the next shot just so I can kick that Nazi’s teeth down his throat, but I think he’ll be busy with Joka and White. So I guess I’ll have to just make sure Deathmans’ reign lasts about as long as Declans’.”
(As the band mercifully lets ‘Sweet Home Alabama’ rest, they kick into ‘Freebird’ as Gabby holds most of RBIs’ attention while whispering in his ear, and the waitress brings the next round and a piece of folded paper which she slides to Chris Austin. BoolZs’ eyes widen at something Gabby said, he looks around briefly, then places one Red Bull on top of the other. Gabby smirks and slyly puts her hand under the table. As her smirk turns the biggest smile we’ve seen in awhile and her cheeks blush just enough.)
Austin; “You know Brown, you need to quit making excuses. Yeah, you got screwed or whatever. We’ve heard it before. Just invoke that damned rematch clause, and get out of my way. Hell I’ve won a match that Savage either special ref’ed or special enforced. You know it didn’t matter. He was just one more punk to get smacked if he got in my way. Just one more name to add to the list of the ten.”
Brown; “Oh yeah, and what an impressive list. I bet it was real hard starting a win streak against a bunch of nobodies. Why don’t you defend your title against somebody who can fight? I’ve seen you beat loser after loser. Yeah, you won ten straight matches, but against nobodies. Plus this whole b.s. about streaks is a joke. Yeah you’ve won ten straight. Sean Jensen’s on a streak too, but he had to beat up his little brother to get there. Plus ten straight wins, and you still havn’t cracked the Global Championship tier yet. What does that say about your streak?”
Austin; “Brandon, I beat whoever they put in my way. I have even beaten Lord Deathman before in a battle royal, the same man who just laid your ass out and took your belt. I have beaten Savage twice, and kicked out of the same move that basically put you down. I have beaten Sean twice, the only man on a streak besides me. I have beaten Hastings twice as well. Hell I fight these people in HARDCORE environments! That means they can use any weapon they want to try to get the job done. But usually I just take those weapons, bloody my opponent, win my match, and leave. No excuses. I give my opponents every advantage in the world. I bleed almost every week, I’ve gone through tables, chairs, tacks. I’ve been stabbed with a screwdriver, and I still stand with this belt on my shoulder as I ‘Roxy’ another girlfriend, or sister, or daughter.”
(BoolZ finishes the first Red Bull paying more attention to Gabby then the team meeting. BoolZ lights a cigarette as he pops open the other Red Bull, and Gabby pulls him up out of his seat.)
Brown; “Wow, you beat Deathman in a battle royal where you didn’t even throw him over. I would give you the assist however. I won a fatal four way match with Deathman in it. ME. I’ve beaten Savage, Jensen, and Hastings. All of them in actual straight up wrestling matches. None of that sh¡t hardcore crap. Hardcore wrestling is crap. I’m a real wrestler. The Hardcore Title is a joke, and so is your streak. You can brag about being stabbed with a screwdriver all you want, you can quote unquote ‘Roxy’ every skank you come across, you can take pride in knowing you were the best…THE BEST number two man in the company. But at the end of the day it all means absolutely nothing unless you’ve been the best. Undeniably, undisputed, undoubtedly the best, and the only way to do that is to be the Global Heavyweight Champion!”
(Before being dragged off with Gabby BoolZ stops, and turns back to the table as Brandon finishes.)
BoolZ; “Wait hold on I gotta jump in here. First off Hardcore wrestling is the epitome of what competition is all about. It’s you versus him with no restraints. No weird little stipulations or loopholes. It’s just combat at its purest form. Besides you’re both ignoring the only streak that matters. My undefeated streak. Four wins outta four matches. I ain’t lost yet, and considering two of my wins come from two thirds of our opponents this week I don’t think I’ll be losing anytime soon. I mean it’s a fact Roberts and I handed Cara’s V.D. their first lose. Hell it was their first match, we got torpedoed into wrestling, and they still couldn’t pull it off. Yeah that was me ruining their debut. Then it was me by myself, thanks for the help by the way, facing Aragato with his ox, and the leader of the Goofy Ducks pulling out another win. Slammin’ the door on those Gross Drunks as they tried for some kinda revenge. After that it was Cara’s hand picked hitman. The man she was ready to return to her whorish roots to try to convince to take me out. What happened? He turned down his turn on the Cara-go-down, and lost the match. Y’all need to get over yourselves, and realize I got this covered.”
(Brandon Brown and Chris Austin sit silent for a moment. Almost in shock they look at each other baffled. Then it happens.)
Austin; “What the fµck do you know rookie?”
Brown; “Yeah some streak you’re on. Every match, every win, every week you get dumped on your head and laid out.”
Austin; “And talk about nobodies. Who hasn’t beaten Aragato? Who even remembers the name of your first opponent? Who got the pin when ‘you’ won that tag match?”
Brown; “Yeah no sh¡t. All you’ve done since day one was drink your Red Bull, try to catch up to Austin’s pussy count, and get peeled off the mat after someone leaves you out cold.”
(Brown and Austin turn back to each other.)
Brown/Austin; “Do you believe this guy?”
(Gabby can’t help but laugh at BoolZ’s expense as he quietly, calmly, took the momentary barrage.)
BoolZ; “Alright good. Now that we’re back on the same page you think we can get outta here, and back to work?”
Austin; “Oh look at the little shot caller.”
(Standing up as he reaches into his pocket.)
Brown; “Yeah, pretty slick rook. Alright numbers for who pays the tab.”
(Brown pulls out a wad of crumpled little pieces of paper as Austin does the same. After a quick count.)
Austin; “17 phone numbers. Not bad for a couple hours of hanging out.”
Brown; “Uh, 15 numbers, a hotel room key, and a card from the bouncer.”
BoolZ; “That big ugly Hells Angels bouncer!”
(As everyone laughs but Brandon Brown.)
BoolZ; “Wait a minute, where was I when Brandon was admitting the truth?”
Brown; “Yeah, yeah, very funny. Still counts jackholes, what do you got BoolZ?”
(Austin raises an eyebrow, gets an even more smug look on his face, and then smiles. He sniffles briefly before adjusting his legs, so a perfectly breasted blonde can exit from under the table.)
Austin; “You were in the pisser. You should have seen it. He winked at Brown.”
(Brandon stands silent as BoolZ reaches into his pocket, and throws three pair of panties on the table. Gabby looks at BoolZ disapprovingly.)
Brown; “What the hell? Those don’t look like numbers.”
BoolZ; “Yeah, I’ll pay the bill. I aint ever been to good with number games, but you can’t argue against my results.”
Austin; “Rookie! Is that a skid mark?”
BoolZ; “Well not really. I chili dogged her, and well yeah.”
(Increasingly upset.)
Gabby; “Chili dogged?”
BoolZ; “Uh, yeah, maybe you shouldn’t be hearing this. Screw it. It’s the guy is giving it to the women so good she loses control of certain… bodily uh…”
(With a quick slap across the face of BoolZ.)
Gabby; “Yeah you can stop. I don’t want to hear anymore, man slut.”
Brown; “Wait some bitch just… all over. Nevermind, doesn’t that freak you out. It’s kinda gross.”
(As Austin chuckles to himself before dismissing the blond.)
BoolZ; “No, it’s not really that bad. You get used to it. If you’re gonna ‘donkeypunch’ you gotta except the consequences.”
Brown; “Donkeypunch?”
Austin; “Brandon, you would imagine giving it to that bouncer right. Doggy like, then just before you cum you reach up, hit that bitch at the base of her skull, and hold on!”
Brown; “You two are sick. BoolZ you make sure to tag Austin during our match. You keep your used Band-Aid hand away from me.”
Austin; “What ever. I’m not sick, I’m hardcore.”
BoolZ; “Yeah, I aint arguing against that just like you can’t argue against my results.”
Austin; “I got an argument. Pay the bill.”
(A quiet smile comes over the face of RBI, as he picks up his trophies, and reaches for this wallet. Austin and Brown start for the door.)
Brown; “And, uh, don’t forget Big B.”
(The smile quickly vanishes as BoolZ snaps his head in the direction of Big Bs’ table. We see in all his glory countless empty pitchers on the table, another two one in each hand, and Big B loving every second of ‘Freebird’ in it’s ninth minute. A look of panic hits BoolZ as he turns back to Austin and Brown.)
BoolZ; “Hey, it’s not like I make championship money!”
(Our scene ends as Austin and Brown exit the bar laughing at the rookie while BoolZ checks his wallet.)
