Synergy #39 Results - June 13, 2011

[T-Robosaurus Rex]

Vinegar: I’m Nicholas Vinegar welcoming you all too what may be the greatest edition of UGWC Synergy ever…don’t you agree Jay?

Covert Jay glares at Nick and shakes his head…in a ninjatastic way of course.

Vinegar: What about you Hans?

Hans glares as well though accompanies that by yelling something inaudible.

Vinegar: Yes that’s right ladies and gentlemen watching this broadcast stream into your bedrooms on your computer instead of the usual Chris Austin porn tonight Hans and Jay do not have headsets. Meaning that tonight you can count on actually hearing what’s going on in the ring. No Ninja’s, no fawning over Gabrielle, no calling Jet Somers crazy or praising the HRD. We are just a week removed from the extravaganza that was Wrestlestock and we have a great night of matches in store tonight; Kyle Tacker vs. Enigma, the HRD tandem of Pierce and Gabby vs. Somers and Fernandez. There’s a rematch between the two men who ended the final match of Wrestlestock when the world champion Tyvola and Donovan Hastings go against each other with no cattle prods in sight. Then the group that closed Wrestlestock standing above the fallen Tyvola; the Vicious Kind attempt to end the reign of the Thames Valley hit Squad…but first we start off with Prince Rudo making his debut against the returning Robert Montana.

*Coming Undone.

Vinegar: The fans here cheering for the return of Robert Montana, who has had a tough life.

As Jay searches frantically for a headset Hans sighs and slumps his head down into his hands, disgusted by Nick doing a solo broadcast. The lights then darken as Robert appears, and fireworks begin to blaze left and right he begins to walk down the ramp very swiftly the spotlight following him along the way, making his way to the ring waving at fans and putting out his hand for the fans to touch, he jumps into the ring where the music stops.

Dennis: Introducing first from Houston, Texas and weighing in at 235 pounds please welcome back ROOOOOBBBBERRRTTT MOOOOOOOOOONNNTAAAAAANNNAAAAAAA!!!

Vinegar: It’s been a long time since we’ve seen Robert in the ring and from the teasers we’ve seen from his opponent it won’t be an easy welcome back.

*Power.

The tribal beat of Kanye West's "Power" reverberates through the arena, accompanied by pulsing strobes. The royal crest overtakes the tron screen as purple smoke rises from the entrance way. Prince Rudo slowly cuts through the smoke clad in a long coat. He stops at the top of the ramp, turns back towards the crest and slams his fist to his heart in salute.

Dennis: And his opponent, making his UGWC debut from The Darkness and weighing 205 pounds PRIIIIINCEEEE RUUUUUUDOOOOOOOO!

He then whips around with a flourish and stalks down the ramp, avoiding the outreached hands of the crowd as if they were lepers. He perches himself on the top turnbuckle and surveys the arena. He sheds his coat and waits on the buckle until the bell rings…

Vinegar: The debut of Prince Rudo has been eagerly anticipated since news first broke of his signing and we are just moments away from that match.

Covert Jay: Huttah!

Lieberjosch: Huttah!

Vinegar: What? No!

Covert Jay: My ninja prowess found our headsets.

Lieberjosch: And Hans does the job that Vinegar is not capable of doing as he announces that Rudo and Montana lock up in the center of the ring with Robert getting the upper hand and pushing the prince into the corner.

Vinegar: It was going to be perfect.

Lieberjosch: Montana now stomping away at Rudo before Hazel steps in to admonish Montana.

Vinegar: Sigh.

Lieberjosch: Rudo back to his feet quickly and explodes out of the corner taking Robert down with a lariat and now simply laying into him with right hands.

Covert Jay: Ninja machine gun punches.

Vinegar: Oh god…why?

Lieberjosch: Montana using the opportunity to get back to his feet as Hazel telling Rudo not to use so many closed fists. Rudo though one step ahead and takes Montana down with a flapjack.

East: 1




2




Lieberjosch: Montana kicks out but the second he gets to his feet he’s taken back down with a neckbreaker.

Covert Jay: Ninja Rudo is just too quick.

Lieberjosch: The Prince now just rubbing his opponents face into the ground, humiliating him before dragging him to his feet and then simply snapmaring him to the ground.

Covert Jay: Ninja is just toying with him.

Lieberjosch: Indeed he is. Rudo easily taking him back down with a back suplex and now just stomping away…Robert may have returned to early it seems. The Lord of the Realm cares not though as he drops a leg across his throat and now locks him in a dragon sleeper.

Vinegar: How did you two find them?

Covert Jay: Ninja prowess I told you Nick.

Lieberjosch: You need too listen Nick. Montana manages to get to the ropes quickly though and breaks the attempted submission hold but the second he gets to his feet he is met with an Argentine Neckbreaker knowna s the Rudo Awakening!

East: 1




2




Lieberjosch: Montana only just gets his shoulder up, though with how this match is going that may not have been wise. Rudo got him up for a suplex but sets him up on the top rope instead…he must have the Great Terrible Eye in mind.

Vinegar: How do you know the names of his moves.

Covert Jay; While you were hiding our headsets we were doing research.

Vinegar: You mean I’m the childish and annoying one right now and you two are the professionals?

Covert Jay: Yep!

Lieberjosch: Look at this though Montana fighting back and he pushes Rudo away now coming off the top rope for a crossbody.

Covert Jay: Mid-air ninja Masterplan.

Lieberjosch: All of Montana’s weight coming down face first on the knee on Prince Rudo.

East: 1




2




3!

Lieberjosch: Prince Rudo with an impressive debut win here tonight.

Vinegar: The returning Robert Montana was simply outclassed here in this match and now hopefully as its over things at the commentary desk can return to normal.

Dennis: Here is your winner The Puppetmaster PRINCEEEE RUUUUUUDDOOOOOO!

Lieberjosch: You have to admit, that was an impressive debut for Prince Rudo.

Covert Jay: You don't control me!

Vinegar: Rudo now perched over the unconscious body of Robert Montana, peering down at him.

Lieberjosch: Well besides being royalty, Rudo is also a scholar. He's probably taking this opportunity to study Montana up close and gather information that may come in handy if they cross paths again. That's sound strategy, if you ask me.

Covert Jay: No one did. No one ever does.

Vinegar: The Prince is now gesturing to ring announcer Mitchell Dennis for the microphone, but his gaze never leaves Montana.

Rudo: We are going to skip the formalities because quite frankly we are not and will never be on a name by name basis. I simply wanted to use this moment to better your miserable lives by telling you a story. Your people have occasionally been able to create worthwhile pieces of literature, and this evening has reminded me of one in particular. Now, this story can be found in a book, that's a collection of words imprinted upon paper and bound together. You may be surprised to learn that books have existed thousands of years before they could be swiped across on your phone. And I realize that the act of physically lifting and flipping real pages can be taxing on atrophied muscles, so I will do you the service this evening of summarizing the story.

Covert Jay: I only read books about ninjas.

Vinegar: Rudo slowly rising to his feet now, and pulling Montana by the hair as he does so.

Rudo: The book is called Don Quixote. It is about an old man. A worthless, feeble, old man. A worthless, foolish, feeble old man who comes to believe that he is actually a hero. And he extricates himself from the loneliness that he had been so deservedly exiled to in order to rejoin the modern world and fight for what is right.

Lieberjosch: Prince Rudo is being very considerate right now, he's helping Montana get to the ring ropes.

Vinegar: He's dragging him by the hair, total disrespect being shown to the returning Fierce Warrior.

Covert Jay: The ninja was history's fiercest warrior, little known fact.

Rudo: The problem was, Don Quixote was not a hero. He was a delusional old man who didn't have the decency to accept his own uselessness. The reality of the situation was that he was a useless, feeble, out of place creature that deserved to be forgotten. You may see where I'm going with this. And the only monsters that he could defeat were merely the figments of his imagination. When he thought he was smiting giants, they were only windmills.

Lieberjosch: See, Nicholas, you were judging Prince Rudo too harshly. He has helped Mr. Montana to the edge of the apron and now he is peacefully leaving the ring

Rudo: But, that's the thing about monsters. They are created. Even in the real world, a monster can only exist if it is being feared. So anything could be made into a monster. Some of you may already be thinking me a monster, because you see my mask or hear my words, and they aren't how you look or how you talk, so to you I am different, to you I am a monster.

Vinegar: He's hooking an arm under Montana's head, what's he thinking?

Lieberjosch: Maybe he is supporting Robert's neck, in case he had a potential injury. Are you not paying attention to what the Prince is saying? You are villifying him for nothing, just like these people.

Rudo: Do not fear me for how I look or how I sound. If you are going to fear me, fear me for what....I....do.

Covert Jay: THE GREAT AND TERRIBLE EYE!

Vinegar: A spike DDT from the apron to the arena floor! What do you have to say about that?

Lieberjosch: You're allowed to be right every so often, it doesn't impress me.

Vinegar: Rudo finally leaving the ringside area, but Robert Montana is not moving folks.

Covert Jay: Call out the meat wagon, we have a man down!

Lieberjosch: And the night's just getting started.

[T-Robosaurus Rex]

Vinegar: Some great action in that opening contest, I think we’re all looking forward in anticipation of what those two will be able to bring to the roster in the coming months.

Covert Jay: Likely lots of blood, sweat, and toejam.

Vinegar: In any case, our first day of WrestleStock saw a new Chaos Champion crowned in the form of the Natural Born Killer.

Lieberjosch: What about all those other transition champs?

Vinegar: The official UGWC records only recognize NBK as a new champion from that day.

Covert Jay: Poor Pinky.

Vinegar: Regardless, this means we need a new challenger for the championship, we’ll find out who next!

"St. Jimmy" hits the speakers hard as the thousands of UGWC fans start cheering loudly for the 'Saint of Chaos'. Fire leads out in front of the entrance way, and as Billie Joe begins singing 'St. Jimmy's coming down across the alleyway' we notice an archway form through the flames. Tre Cool counts of the '1 2 3 4, as St. Jimmy sprints out through the archway to the appreciation of the fans. He raises his arms as pyros explode from the turnbuckles in the ring. He marches down to the ring, interacting with some of the fans. As he nears the ring, he breaks out into a sprint, before leaping through the 2nd and top ropes and landing in the middle of the ring with a roll. He stands tall and taunts to the fans.

Dennis: The following contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, The Saint of Chaos, EEEEEEEEEENIGMA!!!!

Vinegar: Two great competitors in this match, Enigma of course a former Chaos Champion, and both of them were a big part of WrestleStock, what a great event that was.

Covert Jay: Can we get another wet T-Shirt contest?

"Dying Breed" hits over the PA system as Kyle Tacker steps out from the back, his arms held high and his middle finger extended on both hands. He lowers his arms as he starts to walk down the ring, stopping halfway to flip the fans off some. He quickly climbs up the steel steps, and enters the ring through the second rope. He then stands in the center of the ring and raises his arms once more to flip the fans off again with both middle fingers.

Dennis: And his opponent, the One Man Riot, KYLE TAAAACKKKKERRRRRR!!!!!

Vinegar: We understand that the Natural Born Killer is not here tonight, he’ll defend against tonight’s winner next week.

Covert Jay: I see him.

Lieberjosch: You can’t see anything, your towel is over your eyes.

DING DING!

Vinegar: Owen Peterson getting us underway, the first time we’ve seen him since the match between Donovan Hastings and young Chris Peterson on day two of WrestleStock.

Lieberjosch: And by “match” you mean “incident” as that will go down in infamy as the day that Owen Peterson brutally betrayed Donovan Hastings.

Vinegar: Owen called that match down the middle to the best of his ability.

Covert Jay: I think you both made the other’s point there.

Vinegar: In any case, good to see Owen back in the ring tonight, as Tacker floors Enigma with a three-point stance clothesline, Enigma rolls out of the ring.

Lieberjosch: Tacker leans through the ropes to grab him, but Enigma cracks him in the face with a Singapore cane!

Vinegar: Enigma sliding back in with that cane, cracks Tacker again, and he rains repeatedly blows on Tacker!

Lieberjosch: But Tacker manages to deflect a blow, grabs Enigma!

Covert Jay: Fall In!

Vinegar: Both men down, Tacker covered with welts, very slowly rolling over, trying to lay an arm across Enigma.

Lieberjosch: Owen Peterson not watching, staring right at the stage!

Covert Jay: HASTINGS!!!

Vinegar: Donovan Hastings has walked out to the stage, he’s got Calypso with him, and Hastings marching down the ramp now!

Lieberjosch: And Peterson running out of the ring, taking off through the crowd, the coward!

Vinegar: Well who can blame him? With Hastings blaming him for the loss to Chris Peterson, who knows what the Lord of Pain might do?

Lieberjosch: Well what was Owen doing officiating a match featuring his own grandson to begin with! That was hardly fair!

Vinegar: Regardless, Hastings in the ring now, Owen Peterson escaped through the crowd, and Calypso throwing something to Hastings.

Covert Jay: It’s a referee’s shirt!

Vinegar: Donovan Hastings appears to have made himself the referee in place of Owen Peterson!

Lieberjosch: And he stops on both competitors, now he throws Enigma on top of Tacker!




ONE!!!





TWO!!!





Vinegar: Tacker gets his shoulder up!

Lieberjosch: And now Hastings is trying to get Enigma’s attention for some reason.

Covert Jay: He’s giving some mid-match coaching.

Vinegar: He actually seems to be, this is a bit bizarre.

Lieberjosch: The Dragon’s Cave has nothing on Hastingsology.

Vinegar: Hastings appears to be telling Enigma to put Tacker in an armbar.

Lieberjosch: Enigma looking a bit confused.
Vinegar: Hastings now actually putting Tacker in the armbar, he releases, and Enigma hesitates a moment before slapping it on himself.

Lieberjosch: Not sure what about an armbar was so complicated that Enigma needed the demonstration.

Vinegar: And now Hastings puts Tacker’s hand on the ropes?

Lieberjosch: He’s counting to five! THIS is what officiating is meant to be!

Vinegar: And at four Hastings kicks Enigma in the face, breaks the hold!

Lieberjosch: Well, if people aren’t going to follow your instructions as an official, you have to do that to preserve the integrity of the match-up!

Vinegar: Enigma glaring at Hastings now.

Covert Jay: But Tacker catches him with a European uppercut, knocking Enigma to the mat!

Vinegar: Hastings talking to Calypso now, she just handed him something.

Lieberjosch: Tacker’s brass knuckles!

Vinegar: Hastings has the brass knuckles, he just threw them to Tacker!

Lieberjosch: Tacker looks like he really doesn’t want to trust Hastings, but he puts them on anyway, waiting for Enigma to get back to his feet.

Vinegar: Tacker taking cautious glances back at Hastings, measures Enigma.

Covert Jay: SHUT YOUR MOUTH!

Vinegar: Enigma ducks, counters!

Covert Jay: THUNDER CHILD!!!

Vinegar: Hooks the leg!





ONE!!!




TWO!!!




THREEE!!!




Dennis: Here is your winner, EEEEEEEEEENIGMAAA!!!!

Vinegar: Enigma wins the match, he defeats Kyle Tacker, after some bizarre officiating by Donovan Hastings!

Lieberjosch: Enigma celebrating on the turnbuckle!

Vinegar: And next week he’ll face the Natural Born Killer for the Chaos Championship! He’ll, hold on, what’s Hastings doing?

Covert Jay: Double axe handle to the back of Enigma, Enigma slumped on the turnbuckle!

Lieberjosch: INEVITABILITY!!!!!

Vinegar: Hastings laying on Enigma, you want to talk about abusive officiating, we might have just seen it!

Lieberjosch: And there is plenty more to come, on Synergy!

[T-Robosaurus Rex]

Well that was certainly an interesting match, you felt you'd caught some of the moves impeccably and hidden some of the blown spots with aplomb. You walk backstage for your break before your next match, when you see NBK loitering in the backstage area, almost unnoticed as crew buzz around preparing the rest of tonight's show. No-one can afford to pay attention to crazies when there is a show to put on. But you feel it's probably a good idea to see what UGWC;s new Chaos Champion has to say.

You set up the camera and start to roll.

So....it will be Enigma, who is the first to do the Chaos Charleston with The Killer and The Screams...but will you be focused, St. Jimmy? Kyle Tacker did not show you the kind of test you face...when you dance with The Passengers and I. We hope you are focused....we hope you have put aside your inadequacy in comparison to former friends...we hope there is more to your alter ego, than a teenage fixation that borders on the absurd....

Enigma....St. Jimmy....it doesn't matter to us what you wish to call yourself, you are merely our latest Prey. We hope you understand what your victory has earned you the right to...The Killer has become quite accustomed to the gold in the last week or so....it seems, to have a somewhat calming effect on my accomplices...they are not silent, but they scream less, because they know...you will take The Killer seriously now....you will open up your rage, your anguish, your inner most torment to them...because if you don't you will no doubt fail.

Once, we were uninterested in claiming hollow victories against our prey...but now it is all that matters when the Golden Pacifier is placed on the line...for more will come, like the well known lambs to the slaughter...they will form orderly queues and eagerly subjugate themselves to will of the Screams...and that is what you won tonight Enigma, the right to be the first consumed, the first to be overwhelmed by a new breed of killer...

And with that he slinks off into the crowded hall.

And you finish rolling.

That is the perfect warning against going into this profession, all those knocks to the head clearly cause some new and interesting forms of delusion.

But the camera is quickly needed again as a squad of EMT's rush past, and the camera follows them down the hall until it stops and rests upon the unconscious body of Rick Harding, blood pouring out from the back of his head, a bag of skittles scattered all over the floor. EMTS soon rush to the area, each trying to wake Rick, however, to no avail. Ethan is quickly on the scene, checking out what has gone on.

Ethan: Who did this??

EMT: We don’t know; looks like he got a harsh blow to the back of his head with a blunt object, however.

Ethan looks down near Ricks head, and finds a shard of glossy wood. He picks it up, examines it, and scowls.

Ethan: Looks like part of a cricket bat…..fucking JK!

Ethan goes storming off as the feed goes back to ringside.

[T-Robosaurus Rex]

Vinegar: We’re two matches down and it’s time for the first of two Cooperative match-ups of the night.

Lieberjosch: This one will see the Human Resources Department beat down the questionable teaming of Jet Somers and Alan Fernandez.

Vinegar: I don’t think it’s such a clear cut thing. You forget that Somers is our new Cross-Hemisphere Champion.

Lieberjosch: Yeah, who hasn’t been?

Vinegar: It’s a prestigious title with a long history. Isn’t that right Jay?

Jay: Uh-huh.

Lieberjosch: Oh well if he says so. All I’m saying is singles titles don’t make a Cooperative unit.

Vinegar: Well we’ll find out very shortly.

"Vow" starts, and the arena goes black with red lights strobing all over the place in time to the opening guitar riffs. When the music crescendo’s, the lights goes into a steady red all over the arena, and a light blue spotlight shines on the entrance as The Talk comes out with his Mallet Of Doom (TM) slung across his shoulders.

Dennis: The following contest is scheduled for one fall and is a Cooperative match. Introducing first, one of the LWF people who never filled out important info on their bio. Alan Fernandeeeeeeez!!!

He walks down, taking his time, looking all around the arena with an unreadable gaze. When he hits the ring, he stands on the apron staring out into the crowd. As the song crescendo’s into the chorus for the first time, he raises his Mallet Of Doom (TM) with one hand and pyros blow the all around the perimeter of the ring in red, blue, and white. On the Globaltron, when The Talk comes out for the first time, "The Talk of the Town" fills the screen in huge letters, followed by clips of The Talk wrestling and laughing maniacally.

A silhouette resembling Jet Somers appears in the distance of a darkened hallway, walking toward the screen. A distorted and distant Mark Collie wails: 'In time, your time will be no more...,' and the vertical control suddenly flips out as Nonpoint's "Everybody Down" hits hard and Jet runs out from behind the curtain, wearing the Cross Hemisphere Championship around his waist. He runs to the edge of the stage and pumps his fist in the air a few times. Attached to his other wrist by handcuffs is the briefcase won at No Holds Barred.

Dennis: And his Cooperative partner! From Deep Creek, Mississippi! Weighing in at 185lbs! He is the UGWC Cross-Hemisphere Champiooon! Jet Someeeers!!!

At 'And when I stomp you' Jet sprints down the ramp, slapping hands in the crowd as he goes, running to leap onto the apron of the ring. He grabs the rope with one hand and pumps the other fist in the air on each 'Everybody Down!' chant of the chorus. Jet finally steps in, and the referee of course makes him give up the briefcase before clearing him to compete. Jet reluctantly gives it up, un-straps the CH belt, and begins bouncing on the balls of his feet and throwing shadow punches to warm up.

'What You Want' slinks into existence as all the arena lighting turns purple and pink as what we want walks out atop the entrance way. The gorgeous Gabrielle in her hue of caramel smirks as she gazes out over all the UGWC fans and tussles her hair over her shoulders before sauntering down too the ring while holding her hands delicately aloft beside herself.

Dennis: And their opponents! Representing the Human Resources Department! First, from Auckland, New Zealand (I think), Gabrieeeeeelle!!!

When she reaches the ring she rests both hands on the ring apron and for a moment she suggestively arches her back before lifting herself up onto the apron where she sits with her legs dangling over the edge as she adjusts the neckline of her revealing sports bra ensuring it does what little it can to conceal her curves. She then crawls under the bottom rope and into the ring where she gets to her feet and leans back against the ropes where she turns and winks at the camera.

Pyros explode on the opening rifts of You Know My Name, and as the music softens Travis Pierce comes out from backstage…

Dennis: And her partner, with an intro very similar to Fernandez’s. Travis Pieeeeeerce!!!

…and walks to the ring.

Vinegar: Well those are all of our competitors getting ready in the ring. Looks like we’ll have Travis Pierce and Alan Fernandez to get us started.

Ding! Ding!

Vinegar: This one is underway and Pierce and Fernandez tie up in the middle of the ring.

Jay: Have you noticed pretty much all of the writers matches start off like this?

Lieberjosch: I beg your pardon!?

Jay: I’m just saying. Mix it up a little, geez.

Vinegar: Um, right, well, Pierce takes the early advantage with a hammerlock and transitions into a side headlock. Fernandez takes them to the ropes and shoves Pierce off, sending him running. Pierce rebounds and spins into a rear waist lock on the return.

Lieberjosch: Technical dominance from the HRD so far.

Vinegar: Fernandez to the ropes again and tries to shake him off but gets rolled up into a pin instead.

1!

2!

Vinegar: Able to kick out at two though with force that sends Pierce bouncing off the ropes once again and this time Fernandez takes him down with a drop toe hold. He floats over into a headlock. Pierce starting to push them both back to their feet though.

Lieberjosch: We’re looking at a man who was challenging for the World Title just a week ago and a man who couldn’t beat Ezekiel or Jet Somers for the Cross-Hemisphere belt. This early dominance is hardly surprising.

Jay: You mean Jet Somers the Grand Slam Champion and Ezekiel the Number 1 contender?

Lieberjosch: Do you know any others?

Vinegar: Pierce takes him down with a belly to back suplex and makes the tag to Gabrielle. That got the crowd going.

Jay: Butt wiggle entering the ring!

Lieberjosch: …Nice.

Vinegar: She’s putting the boots to Fernandez as he tries to get to his feet. The Talk is able to muscle through them though and get back to standing. Gabby swings a forearm but Fernandez counters and takes her over with a t-bone suplex.

Jay: Heh, he just boned Gabrielle.

Lieberjosch: Ugh.

Vinegar: Fernandez looking to make a tag but Gabrielle able to reach out and grab his foot. Alan forced to go back and puts the boots to Gabby now. She rolls him up though!

1!

2!

Vinegar: Another kick out by Fernandez and both competitors to their feet. Fernandez goes for a clothesline but Gabrielle ducks it.

Jay: Jet ninja-tagged from the apron.

Vinegar: Gabrielle comes back and hits a running dropkick that sends Fernandez out over the top rope.

Jay: Ninja assault!

Vinegar: Somers springboards in from the outside with a Chok! Huge superman punch has put Gabrielle down. He goes for the cover.

1!


2!

Lieberjosch: Pierce comes in to make the save this time; though I’m sure it wasn’t necessary.

Vinegar: Brian Chartreuse removing Pierce from the ring and Somers tries to lock in an armbar. Gabrielle able to scramble to the ropes before he can get that arm straightened out though. He breaks the hold and Gabrielle gets to her feet. She dashes for the corner and makes the tag before Somers can close on her again.

Lieberjosch: Clever girl. That’s why the HRD are the power around here.

Jay: What power?

Vinegar: Somers simply clotheslines her over the top rope and out to the floor instead. Pierce takes a certain amount of exception to the treatment of his partner, climbs in and drops Somers with a sleeper slam. Pierce heading to the top rope now.

Lieberjosch: That cheating bastard Fernandez just shook the rope!

Vinegar: And Pierce gets crotched on the top. Guess he shouldn’t have violated Article 3 huh?

Lieberjosch: He should be disqualified!

Vinegar: Fernandez pleading innocence and Chartreuse didn’t see enough to make that call. Jet recovers from the slam and charges up to the corner. Huge exploder suplex from the top! Great impact! Somers going for the cover now.

1!


2!

Vinegar: No! Pierce just able to kick out. Jet pulls him to his feet and makes the tag to Alan Fernandez. Double DDT! They just dropped him on his head! Fernandez going to the top this time! I’ll Met by Starlight!

Lieberjosch: Pierce gets his knees up and Fernandez crashes and burns!

Vinegar: Both men down by Fernandez has the advantage of being right in his own corner and quickly makes the tag back to Somers who jumps on Pierces back as he tries to crawl across the ring. He’s looking for a rear naked choke.

Lieberjosch: A sleeper hold to those of you who’re pro-wrestling fans, not MMA.

Vinegar: Pierce with enough strength to keep it from getting synched in and Gabrielle comes in this time to break the attempt with a boot to the back of Jet’s head. She pulls Travis to the corner and tags herself in. Jet gets to his feet in time to get taken down with a hurricanrana!

Jay: I think I got an under cleavage shot!

Vinegar: Then takes him down again with a leg lariat. Now going for the Wrapped In Caramel but Somers is a Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu master and is able to avoid the submission attempt and comes out on top. Gabrielle able to pull him into a sunset flip style pin from the ground though.

1!



2!



Vinegar: No! She almost had him! Both roll back to return to their feet. Jet charges and Gabrielle sends him to the ropes. Boot to the gut and a butterfly suplex on the rebound but she’s sent him right to his corner. Fernandez makes the tag and comes after her. Nails her with a Yakusa kick.

Lieberjosch: No! Not her face!

Vinegar: Gabrielle rolls away and Pierce tags in now. The Truth Hurts!

Jay: Countered!

Vinegar: Fernandez gets his body free and Pierce hits the ground hard. Bridging pin! He’s got the legs!

1!



2!



3!

Ding! Ding! Ding!

Dennis: Here are your winners! Jet Somers and Alan Fernandeeeeez!!!

Vinegar: And The HRD's woes continue. WrestStock was a disaster, and this month starts off on the wrong foot for them. I wonder if Ooley has a plan to turn this around.

Lieberjosch: Ole' Bob always has a plan.

[T-Robosaurus Rex]

'Where in the name of scrotum swallowing, nut munching, camel-toe licking, foreskin cheese cultivating, clitoral wart stroking, disturbing discharge collecting, monkey graping, anal bead inserting, tramp wanking, hairy nipple fixating, Kiseragi buttplug cleaning, deep throat gagging, gerbil inserting, baboon inflicted gaping, pensioner felching, fuck are you're heads at!?!?'[/b][/color]

Robert Ooley's voice bellows across the conference room, Boss P, both members of the Thames Valley Hit Squad and Todd the Intern are already seated, Gabrielle and Travis Pierce have just walked in heads hung downwards after their recent defeat. Then the sound of smashign glass rings through the air, and the scene switches to see a framed and signed Yankee's shirt, shatter and fall to the floor. Trembling inches from the wall is a recognisable, but strangely unfamiliar friend held in Ooley's grasp.

Ooley: That's right, your not seeing things due to the weight of your collective mass fucking stupidity weighing upon your tiny little brains, Louis is back, and stronger than ever!

Robert Ooley does indeed clutch in his left arm the baseball bat last seen at No Holds Barred, splintering in two over the head of Tyvola. However Louis has been repaired and upgraded, metal plates have been screwed into the sides and now hold both pieces of finely crafted timber together whilst also adding some extra weight and danger to it's make up.

Ooley: At the beginning of the year Ole' Bob gave you all the honour of approaching you all personally and offering you all the chance of a fucking lifetime. I offered to change your lives, no longer would Trevor Point be under appreciated, Titfuckerella would be judged on more than her ability to suck a mean cock, and Her Majesty's Secret Eunuch Division would finally get the exposure they deserved.

I took you all and worked my fucking ass off to make Travis Pierce UGWC's Most Watched World Heavyweight Champion, busted a fucking nut to make Gabrielle Montgomery a Marquee Attraction in this profession, and broke my fucking back establishing The Thames Valley Hit Squad as the most dominant team in the industry. And did I do this because I'm a fucking imbecile?!?

The groups response to Ole' Bob's question doesn't give him much. As we look around the table everyone is doing their best to avoid eye contact with the Head of Human Resources, whilst shaking their heads.

Ooley: The answer is no, No I'm fucking not! But each and every one of you are making me look like Paul Cockafuckingtoo's mentally disadvantaged brother! You have all been goddamn lucky Louis has been at the shop being nursed back to health, but like the Million Dollar Man, Louis would be a dangerous adversary, and now Louis is back and itching to get back into the fucking swing of things, if you catch my drift!

Ole' bob is putting you all on fucking warning, he will not tolerate the bullshit you guys have been pulling over the last couple of months. You can only party like rock stars and revel in your own shit if your getting the business done in the ring. And I think we can all safely say you are cateshittingorically not!

The group are still silent, but Gabrielle is the one to find her metaphorical balls and speak up.

Gabby: I'm not sure..[/color]

Before she can even form her sentence Ooley tosses a handily placed mug across the room and it flies inches over Gabby's head and smashes against the wall.

Ooley: Did I ask for the opinions of a swiss cheese resembling wombed skank? Why in the name of all that is fuck do you even have the gall to contemplate adding your views to this? Are you aware of what we all just witnessed? Or are you too fucking busy thinking about whether there is a creepier member of the roster that you haven't already slept with? Ole'Bob doesn't care if your princess parts are scabbing over and seeping with puss, you focus on your fucking job in that ring. From this fucking moment, when you're in competition Tyvola is not your fucking lover, he's your enemy. And if you ever, and I mean fucking ever try to save his garbage dwelling crotch from defeat again, Louis will do some very unpleasant things to your lady parts with the help of a coat hanger and some battery acid!

Travis Pierce perks up and pushes his chest out.

Pierce: Hang on a minute there...

Another mug, similar results.

Ooley: Really?...I mean fucking really? You think standing up for her will get you into her rotting snatch? You'd be better off living in a sewer and growing a fucking tail. Maybe it'd be a good option for you, after your meltdown on air this week, a series of pathetic showings since you failed to execute a foolfuckingproof plan at No Holds Barred, and tonight's career low! Your ego's bruised, I get that, I do...but do I care? Of course I fucking don't, I'm not your sweet old grandad, I'm the master of your god-damn destinies. You are only useful to me if your fulfilling the criteria of you requirements, so rather than hopelessly lusting after your colleague, and plotting your next funny story, you might want to think about getting your head fucking screwed on and delivering the goods!

Duncan can't help but snigger at his peer's misfortune, and he is quickly jabbed in the ribs by Jonny Blakes sharp elbow to the ribs.

Duncan: Ow! That was unnecessary.

Ooley turns and looks at the Thames Valley Hit Squad, and he opens his arms and smiles.

Ooley: My boys! You guys still have gold don't you, you're still Champions, you're doing your jobs, right?'

Duncan nods with a broad smile looking towards Travis Pierce with a glint in his eye, Johnny on the other hand sits and shrugs his head to the side.

Ooley: Wrong![/i]

As he responds to his won question he hurls another mug, this one hit's Johnny Blake straight in the forehead and shatters. Johnny looks over at Duncan.

Johnny: You just couldn't keep your poncey mouth shut could you?

He raises his hand to give his partner a slap, but suddenly see's Ooley storking Louis and thinks better of such an action.

Ooley: Some spectators might say, the only reason the two of you are still Cooperative Champions, and not, say, those fossils Arelost and Budgie, is Robert Ooley. And seeing as Ole' Bob is the only spectator whose opinion means a fucking thing, and that's what I would say, it's the most valid opinion going. And you both sucked the entire population of New Orleans to a disappointing climax during your attempts to exist without one another. And despite how horrendous each of you clearly are without the other to wipe their shit crusted ass, you insist on bickering and squabbling like Alex Kiseragi and his 'special friends' on a third date. Neither of you are shit to me on your own, bear this in mind next time one of you gets idea's above your station, if wanted someone to compete for singles gold, and I mean ANY title, I'd be more attracted to the prospects of St. Idiot and English St. Idiot than either one of you. Just remember your roles in this group, and that starts tonight, otherwise Ole' Bob' might just have to set up a meeting with HR Consultant Louis.

The room has once again fallen silent, even Boss P doesn't dare speak.

Ooley: It's as clear as the Freudian nature of Donovan Hastings' relationship with Owen Peterson that we've all gone through a bit of a bad spot. Maybe we've been thinking about our personal lives, or focusing on a blossoming relationship, but it's time to get back to what we all do best. Have you heard what people are saying about you? That your only value is entertainment, that none of you have any real talent? Shit, some people are even suggesting The Viscous Crud are the most talented group in UGWC...That's 'Faint Gust' and Ezekneel Sux to you and I...more talented than any of you?

Sure, we are the epitome of Sports Entertainment, but that doesn't mean we aren't talented. The Puppet Masters were the most entertaining and skilful team in LWF history, and I wouldn't have called each and every one of you if I didn't feel the same way about the Human Resource Department and UGWC.

Yeah, it's been a rough few weeks, but whilst they all think we are on our knee's, we will show them we have learnt, we have become stronger, more cohesive. If people want to think that The Viscous Crud are an emerging force, or that Ebola is undefeatable, or even that Astro Bummers is the finest sporting specimen we have...we know we will prove them wrong. It takes a lot more than a few weeks of random occurrences to keep us down!

Ooley thrusts Louis into the air, and the members of the HRD obligingly get to their feet and give him a standing ovation.

Ooley: Just don't fail me.

[T-Robosaurus Rex]

Vinegar: It's been a wild night so far here on Synergy! I can't imagine Robert Ooley is too pleased with what he witnessed in our last match up, I personally wouldn't want to be in Pierce or Gabby's boots right now.

Lieberjosch: I'm sure that Mr ooley is using his years of experience to give them all a motivational speech.

Vinegar: I cannot imagine Ooley is a pep talk kinda guy.

Lieberjosch: Yes, but we all know you have a limited imagination.

Dennis: ladies and gentlemen the next match is Scheduled for One Fall!

“Ripper”

Dennis: Introducing first....DOOOONNNNOOOOVVVVAAAANNNNN HHHAAASSSTTTIIINGGGSSS!!!

Lieberjosch: He truly is a specimen, after stepping in to the breach and refereeing the Chaos Title Number 1 Contender match, he still gives the fans more.

Vinegar: I think you'll find this is what he's paid to do, not officiate.

Lieberjosch: Well that makes his donation to UGWC earlier this evening even more generous than before.

“Come Together”

Denis: And his opponent, the UGWC World Heavyweight Champion....TTTTTTYYYYYYVVVVOOOLLLLLAAA!!!

Vinegar: Has UGWC ever had a more physically imposing and dominant champion than this man right here? He took everything that was thrown at him on the third day of WrestleStock and still exited victoriously.

Lieberjosch: I know, and can you imagine how much more dominant and imposing he would be if he'd been under my guidance. It's enough to make your brain melt.

Covert Jay: He's the most un-ninja ninja I've ever seen. Creeping is NOT his thing.

Vinegar: But causing pain and anguish most certainly is, and Donovan Hastings will know that all too well, after coming within one TWiSTeD Plan from reclaiming the World Heavyweight Championship he lost at Horizons.

Lieberjosch: It's clearly Tyvola's time right now, he's not smart enough to make it extend to an era without the right guiding hand, but Donovan was very unfortunate it was the Homicidal Hobo that stood in his way.

Vinegar: He has a chance to reclaim some glory, after what must have been a very disappointing weekend in New Orleans. Defeat to Chris Peterson was quickly followed by his failed attempt to become World Champion once more, and this is despite his girlfriend and best friend doing everything they could to help.

Ding!

Vinegar: Glenn Burke calls for the bell and Tyvola instantly runs Hastings into the ground with a dominant shoulder barge, he then drags him to his feet and hurls him into the turnbuckle. Grabs his head and repeatedly smashes it into the turnbuckle, before tossing the dazed body of Hastings to the floor. Then he climbs onto the second buckle before driving a knee and fist into the skull of The Lord. This is a very aggressive start from Tyvola, he's been a little slower to start of recent.

Lieberjosch: If it's intentional it's an interesting turn of events, as that is one of the first things I would have advised him to do. Too often he allows weaker opponents the chance to get a foothold in the match when he should be steamrollering them to defeat in minutes. And with the likes of Donovan Hastings, they can take the smallest opportunity and turn it into a victory.

Covert Jay: It was strange to see him on the second turnbuckle too.

Lieberjosch: Yes it was, and curiously that's another piece of advice I'd give him, to vary his offence. He is very athletic for his size and could take opponents by surprise if he improvised a little more.

Vinegar: Well Hastings now trying to get back into this with an eye rake as Tyvola pulls him to his feet, it does the job and Ty clutches at his face for a moment, and that's long enough for The Lord to grab him by the hair and force Ty's face down into his rapidly rising knee, he then sweeps Tyvola's legs from underneath him. He then falls to the floor, and drops a knee onto Tyvola's equivalent body part.

Lieberjosch: Hastings being smart now and trying to take out the foundations of Tyvola's attack, if he can't walk, he becomes less imposing.

Vinegar: Tyvola obviously aware of this, and as Hastings attempts to lock in a painful hold he sits forward and strikes him with a closed fist, calling Glenn Burke into action to warn Tyvola. But the effect is the same, Donovan is clutching his face, not Tyvola's leg, and the Mountain Madman climbs back to his feet, forcing Hastings to do the same. Hastings goes to lock up, and out of Glenn Burke's line of sight Tyvola hit's a hard Heart Punch, and Hastings falls to his knee's.

Lieberjosch: This is getting weird, I've always felt Tyvola underutilized that Heart Punch. It's almost like someone's hacked into the super secret Article 312: how to turn Tyvola into the Worlds most Dominant Athlete. But that's impossible, I have a password that's rated as 'Super-Safe'.

Covert Jay: Hmmmm.

Vinegar: Tyvola grabs Donovan....MAGU...

Lieberjosch: No, Donovan somehow escapes and gets behind The Hardcore Hermit, Full nelson...Then sweeps the legs and slams Tyvola face first into the canvas....







1....










2....








Vinegar: NO! Tyvola kicks out, and shakes his head to clear the his focus. Hastings looking stunned Ty managed to kick out, and he takes a moment to regain his composure.

Lieberjosch: Tyvola gets to his feet...CLOTHESLINE FROM HELL!!!

Vinegar: NO! Donovan wraps himself around his arms...trying to tip him backwards for the crucifix pin....

Lieberjosch: Tyvola struggling, and he breaks Hastings' hold....

Vinegar: sugaM!






1...









2...










3!!!

Covert Jay: Solo69dd

Lieberjosch: Wha...How?

Dennis:Here is your winner....TTTTTTTYYYYYYYVVVVVVVOOOOLLLAAAA!!!

Vinegar: Tyvola with another victory, but one has to to ask how focused Donovan Hastings is right now, his actions earlier this evening suggest his mind is elsewhere.

Lieberjosch: No the question one has to ask is how Jay knows my Super-Safe password!

Covert Jay: Ninja.

Lieberjosch: I hate you.

Vinegar: Up next, The Cooperative Championships will be defended.

[T-Robosaurus Rex]

Vinegar: It's been another great night of action here on Synergy, and it is time for the main event!

Lieberjosch: The Cooperative Championship is going to be on the line!

The words ‘Don’t.. Be.. Silent’ are faded onto the GlobalTron as they are spoken. After those words are spoken, the word ‘Fight’ is screamed over the PA System as ‘Confrontation’ by Otep begins to play. Ezekiel, JK, and Marek make their way onto the ramp side by side with Scarlet trailing close behind. JK stands in the center as both Marek and Ezekiel take a knee. All 3 men strike their respective poses as pyros fall down from above them and also go off around the arena. Marek and Ezekiel get back to their feet and walk toward the ring with JK. They slide in together and stand near the ropes, basking in the reaction of the fans.

Dennis: The following cooperative contest is scheduled for one fall and is for the Cooperative Championship! Introducing first, the challengers, THE VICIOUS KIND!!!

Vinegar: This challenge was laid down on Day Two of WrestleStock, when JK cashed in some of his purse in exchange for this match here tonight.

Lieberjosch: Let's not forget that Ezekiel cashed in as well for a World Title shot on Day Three, potentially lots of gold headed for the Vicious Kind this month!

"Quick Death" begins to play, and the Hit Squad appears on the stage, accompanied by Robert Ooley. Johnny storms ahead while Duncan hangs back to show off, but Ooley taps him with the bat and points at the ring.

Dennis: And their opponents, they are the reigning and defending Cooperative Champions, Duncan Ryder, Johnny Blake, THE THAMES VALLEY HIT SQUAAAADDDD!!!!

Vinegar: The Hit Squad with perhaps one of the biggest wins of their career at WrestleStock, when they defeated the legendary team of the Winged Ones.

Covert Jay: Arelas and Crow were legends both separately and together, certainly a feather in the cap of the Hit Squad.

Lieberjosch: And they owe it to the leadership of Director Ooley.

Vinegar: JK up on the apron, Ezekiel will apparently start this match, but he's dawdling on the outside.

Lieberjosch: Some things can't be rushed.

Vinegar: And Marek Daisuke slides into the ring and blindsides Duncan Ryder!

Lieberjosch: Glenn Burke is calling for the bell!

DING DING!

Vinegar: Do we have a disqualification already?

Lieberjosch: Burke seems to be indicating for the match to...start?

Vinegar: We're being told that it is Daisuke that will be teaming with JK and not Ezekiel as we had expected.

Covert Jay: Deception!

Vinegar: Daisuke with the advantage as a result, stomping away on Ryder!

Lieberjosch: Smoke and mirrors being employed here in the early goings by the challengers.

Covert Jay: You might say it was...vicious.

Lieberjosch: That was awful.

Vinegar: Multiple strike combinations on Ryder by Daisuke, quick armdrag takedown.

Lieberjosch: And Ryder stands right into a dropkick from the Human Missile.

Vinegar: Waistlock applied by Daisuke, and a German suplex.

Lieberjosch: Perfectly executed by Marek Daisuke, and now he hits another!

Vinegar: And now he tags out to JK, holds Ryder for him.

Covert Jay: 'The Cyclone' coming into the ring, delivers body shots to Ryder.

Vinegar: Glenn Burke chases Daisuke out as JK knocks down Ryder with a dropkick, goes right into the cover.





ONE!!





TWO!!!





Vinegar: Ryder kicks out!

Lieberjosch: A lot of punishment already absorbed by Duncan Ryder, and the Vicious Kind likely to try an isolate him from his partner.

Vinegar: JK with a backbreaker, goes to the ropes now, looking back and measuring Ryder.

Covert Jay: FLYING DEBRIS!!

Lieberjosch: But Ryder rolls out of the way!

Covert Jay: Whiff!!!

Vinegar: Ryder rolls to his corner, makes the tag to Johnny Blake!

Lieberjosch: Blake rushes into the ring, fights JK back with right hands, whips him off the ropes right into a spear!

Vinegar: And now a right hand knocks Daisuke off the apron!

Lieberjosch: JK pulling himself up in the corner, but Blake corners him, repeated shoulder thrusts.

Vinegar: Goes to whip JK across the ring, but JK reverses, pulls him back into a kick to the gut.

Covert Jay: The Eye of the Storm!

Vinegar: JK holding up all five fingers!

JK: Category Five!!!

Vinegar: Here it comes!

Covert Jay: Ooley is calling time out!

Vinegar: What?

Lieberjosch: Director Ooley is on the apron calling a timeout.

Vinegar: How can he do that?

Lieberjosch: Well, I can hear him explaining to Glenn Burke that since they weren't given advance notice of Marek being in the match, they need two minutes to regroup and prepare.

Vinegar: Maybe they should have done that before the match actually started?

Lieberjosch: When? They got blind-sided, remember?

Vinegar: Burke doesn't seem to be going for this, JK staring at Ooley, Ezekiel going around the ring towards Ooley.

Covert Jay: Blake rolls up JK!

Vinegar: Ooley off the apron as Ezekiel confronts him.

Covert Jay: Ryder just took out Daisuke!

Vinegar: Burke sees Blake with the cover!





ONE!!





TWO!!!





THREE!!!!!





Dennis: Here are your winners, and STILL the Cooperative Champions, THE THAMES VALLEY HIT SQUAD!

Vinegar: The Hit Squad escapes with the championship!

Lieberjosch: I'll bet they want to give Ooley that time-out now, don't they?

Vinegar: The Hit Squad celebrating in the ring, the Vicious Kind regrouping on the stage, don't forget, Ezekiel still has a World Heavyweight Championship title shot coming in the next few weeks! Marek and JK staring holes through the TVHS and backing up towards the exit...

Covert Jay: Kersplat!

Lieberjosch: Now that's just adding insult to injury!

Vinegar: It's like Carrie all over again as a pail of black paint just fell from the top of the GlobalTron, and coated the unsuspecting Marek Daisuke!!

Lieberjosch: Marek is stunned, but JK knows the score, and he's darting glances all over, looking for The Wild Card!

Vinegar: But he's nowhere to be seen...wait there is someone coming through the curtains!

Lieberjosch: Hold on a second that's Dexter Vines!

Vinegar: He's got something to say as he steps around the pool of black paint and the fuming Marek Daisuke.

Vines: I've got no idea what the hell just went down out here, but Moss and I don't think it really matters. I think this is a match we need to see again, so at In Your Hands, it'll be the Thames Valley Hit Squad, defending the Cooperative Championship against JK and Marek Daisuke, and a third team to be selected by our fans!

Vinegar: Another match set for In Your Hands!

Covert Jay: Who could the third team be?

Vinegar: We'll find out in the weeks to come, as we march towards In Your Hands! We'll see you next week!

[T-Robosaurus Rex]

Credits

Opener
DJS

Rudo Post Match
Prince Rudo

Chaos No.1 Contender Match
Donny

NBK speaks
NBK

Harding's attack
JK

Coop Match
A-Kis

HRD Meeting
T-Rob

Donny vs Ty
T-Rob

Main Event
Donny

[EZRA]

This was a great show. My favorite parts were actually not even matches. The Rudo post match bit and the HRD meeting were epic. Rudo.. that was just awesome. Storytelling summed up with some viciousness. Well done.

As for the HRD bit.. Fuckin awesome. Can't really think of much to say about it except that Ooley is very creatively obscene.

All in all, a great show. Congrats to TVHS on the win. See you at IYH.

[Orgabsmic]

Yeah great show, Ole Bobs words of inspiration stole the show for me...he certainly doesn't mince words.

[princerudo]

Thanks for the kind words Zeke, and thanks to Jack for giving me such an impressive debut. I hope Robert doesn't think I was trying to bury him and comes back to prove the Prince wrong.