Post by brandonbrown on Jul 25, 2009 21:47:13 GMT -5
The following is a GIW.com Exclusive.
(The camera cuts to Brandon and Big B Brown standing outside.)
Brandon: Hello GIW fans. I’m Brandon Brown and this is Big B Brown. We are here today to talk about the current problems in the GIW landscape.
Big B: You guys may be wondering to yourselves, why would they do that? Well, we are here to answer those questions and more. Some people are probably wondering why Brandon isn’t going crazy about losing the Battleground. We have that answer.
Brandon: It’s quite simple. I lost fair and square. That was one of the most brutal matches in my life and I lost. It’s that easy. I knew I was screwed when I had to start the match first. Whatever. I don’t get a match of my choosing at Horizons. That doesn’t bother me too much. It would have been nice to have won but I didn’t. Congrats go to Randy Boolzian for winning that hellacious match.
Big B: People are probably also wondering why he isn’t obsessing over not being able to have a Global Heavyweight Championship match.
Brandon: That’s another easy one, Big B. I’m over that. I still want to win back the title but I’m not going to go crazy over it. Being that crazy over a title distracted me from being myself and being a better wrestler. I’m glad you helped me find my way, Big B.
Big B: I had to pull out every trick in the book to help you get back on track. I had to make plenty of phone calls. Did you honestly think you could just waltz right into the Pentagon? It was all a big setup. The whole quest was just so you could find yourself.
Brandon: I did find myself. I’m now back to normal. Well, as normal as I can be. It’s all business from here on. Our fans are probably wondering where we are right now. It turns out we are in front of the GIW Arena.
(Camera shows the GIW Arena.)
Brandon: It’s not a bad looking arena. I have never really looked at it before. That Declan Prescott knows what to do with his money. We’ll talk more about Mr. Prescott later though. Now we must head into the building. Come on, Cameraman. You’re earning your money today.
(The scene changes to Brandon and Big B standing in a GIW hallway.)
Big B: As you can see, this is a pretty nice hallway.
Brandon: Why is this hallway so nice though?
Big B: I have that answer, Brandon. It’s the GIW Global Heavyweight Champion Hall. It’s the hall that honors the wrestlers who have held or are holding the Global Heavyweight Championship.
Brandon: Who knew we could afford this hallway? Anyways, why don’t we take a look at the first champion, Big B? Why it’s Declan Prescott. The man who runs the joint. You know he beat a very awesome wrestler to earn the right to be called the first Global Heavyweight Champion.
Big B: Enlighten the new fans. Who did he beat?
Brandon: Why he beat the man whose picture is next on the wall. He appears to be a pretty good looking guy. Wait a second. That’s me. He beat me to win the title. That’s okay though because I took the title from him the next month.
Big B: To be fair. You didn’t actually pin him.
Brandon: He was in the match though. I don’t recall what he was doing but I’m pretty sure he was there. It doesn’t matter. I beat him the next month in a last man standing match.
Big B: Very true. What about this next guy on the wall?
Brandon: The next guy on the wall is only there because he had a lot of help. Who did he have at the ring to help beat me? Savage? What ever happened to Savage?
Big B: The better question is what ever happened to Lord Deathman?
Brandon: I have no idea. He just disappeared. Maybe he couldn’t accept the fact that my picture is on the wall again right after his. Two great looking pictures of me all in one hallway.
Big B: Actually, your eyes are closed in the second one.
Brandon: It had a pretty big flash. That’s not the point though. After my awesomeness on this wall, we get Komosube. I have a lot of respect for this guy. He beat me fair and square. Hell, he kicked my ass. I know I was going through some emotional troubles at the time but I should have tried harder. I lost though.
Big B: I beat Komosube twice.
Brandon: You love to brag about that. Finally, we come across our new Global Heavyweight Champion. Yes, he already has a picture up. We work quickly here a GIW. The man is Travis Roberts.
Big B: Travis Roberts is no joke. The man has beaten you before.
Brandon: Not a match I like to remember.
Big B: Yeah, I know. People are already questioning Travis’s reign though. He unfairly beat Komosube. We all know he had help from Declan Prescott. Those two are on a roll right now.
Brandon: Yes, they are. We will talk much more about those two clowns later. We must move forward though. Cameraman, let’s go.
(The scene shifts to inside the GIW ring.)
Brandon: Here we are standing in the GIW ring. We both have fought some tough matches inside this ring. I’ve fought Last Man Standing Matches, Stretcher Matches, Battleground Matches, and Table matches. I have had a lot of fun in this ring.
Big B: Do you think we use the same ring for every show?
Brandon: I never really thought about it. We are off track again though. For some reason, the powers that run GIW decided to put me in a Number one contender’s battle royal for a shot at the GIW Global Heavyweight Championship. I’ll assume the winner will face the champ at the next pay per view but they might shock me and have a title match next week on Sentinel.
Big B: That would be cool.
Brandon: It certainly would be interesting. I’m just glad that they keep giving me shots to get back to the top. That shows their faith in me.
Big B: Maybe they just like to see you fail.
Brandon: You may have a good point. You do know that since Infinity, I have main evented every single pay per view. The fans are probably getting tired of me but I don’t care. If they are going to give me title opportunities, then I will take them. I still want to be champion even if there aren’t any belts talking to me.
Big B: I want to be a champion.
Brandon: You’ll get your chance someday. So this match is a battle royal. That means you have to throw your opponent over the top rope and both of their feet must touch the floor. I’ve always been a big fan of battle royals. They always were exciting when I was a kid. Three other men oppose me in this match. They are Alex Kiseragi, Chris Austin, and ‘Diamond’ Jack Severino.
Big B: Monkeys in the back. Put Alex Kiseragi’s face on the titantron.
(Kiseragi’s face appears on the titantron.)
Brandon: There he is. Mr. Alex Kiseragi. One of the most dangerous fighters you will ever know. I got to fight him a bit in that Battleground match. That man can go. It’s a shame he didn’t win. He can be one angry fire breathing dragon that kicks very hard. If I didn’t like myself so much, then I would want this guy to win. He won’t though because I’m in the match. I’ll wait to throw him out last though.
Big B: That’s very kind of you.
Brandon: It’s my good deed of the week.
Big B: Monkeys, show us Chris Austin.
(Chris Austin’s face appears on the titantron.)
Brandon: It’s my favorite person in the whole world. It’s Chris Austin. I actually used to really like this guy. Now, I can’t really stand him. He just gets on my nerves. I can’t stand to watch him wrestle. I’ll probably throw him out first since I like him the least.
Big B: Wow, what turned you against him?
Brandon: He said some hurtful words. They were probably true but I don’t care. I don’t like him. I’d kick his ass in a hardcore match. He’d go crying home to his mommy after having a match with me.
Big B: You seem very confident. Who cares. Monkeys, show us Jack Severino.
(Jack’s face appears on the titantron.)
Brandon: No, don’t show him. Show Gabrielle instead.
(Jack’s face disappears and Gabrielle in a very revealing photo appears on the titantron.)
Brandon: The Monkeys have outdone themselves on this one.
Big B: That picture is the breast around. I mean best around.
Brandon: Sadly, we have to talk about Jack instead. I tell you what. Jack, if you bring Gabrielle down to ring side with you, then I will keep you until the end of the match. That way I have more time to enjoy her.
Big B: I thought you said that you would take Kiseragi to the end.
Brandon: Well, tell Kiseragi to find a girlfriend. Only if he does that, then I will take him to the end with me. It doesn’t really matter. The match won’t last long. I will probably have thrown them all over the top rope before the match has past a minute. I’m serious about that. I’m that damn awesome.
Big B: You are pretty damn awesome. Not as good as me in the ring, but you are probably the second best in the world.
Brandon: Yeah, you are probably right. How many titles have you won again?
Big B: Over hundreds.
Brandon: How many wrestling titles have you won?
Big B: Zero.
Brandon: That’s what I thought. Well, I have said enough about my dimwitted opponents for this week. We all know that I will win and that I will face the champion. It’s a given. Why don’t we talk about that champion? Cameraman, we need to move again.
(The scene changes to the front door to the GIW Arena.)
Brandon: We are now standing by the front door of the GIW Arena. This is where all the loyal GIW fans storm in to see their favorite GIW stars. I’m their favorite by the way. Not the point though. There are two statues standing to my right and my left. Cameraman, show them the statues.
(The Cameraman moves his camera to show a statue of Declan Prescott and another statue of Travis Roberts.)
Big B: When did we get those?
Brandon: I’m not really sure. You know what it shows though? It shows how big of egomaniacs these guys are.
Big B: You have a statue of yourself in your house.
Brandon: That’s totally different though. Stop changing the subject. Roberts and Prescott for months have been ruining GIW. I never really cared to do anything about it. I was too busy worried about that damn belt. My mind is clear now though. I now see the cancer we have in GIW. I must put in end to their evil ways. Did you see what they did to Komosube? They stole his title. They cheated him out of the match. Fuck, they cheated me out of the belt at In Your Hands. Plus, I have never gotten revenge for that attack that Prescott did to my after my stretcher match at Guerrilla Warfare. I owe him an asskicking.
Big B: Can we stop them though? They run this company.
Brandon: Where there is a will, there is a way. Normally when I go into these number one contender’s matches, I do it because I want the belt. The main reason I want to win this match is so that I can fight Travis Roberts. I must take the belt off of him. The Revolution is no good. They think they are benefiting GIW. They are wrong. They are going to run the company into the ground.
Big B: You are absolutely correct.
Brandon: We can’t allow this cancer to spread anymore. There will be no more crazy adventures and quests from me. That was all a waste of time. I’m now focused on stopping the Revolution. No more run ins with Nicholas Cage. I’m more serious than ever now. I will win the match at Sentinel. I will then face Travis Roberts and I will put an end to the Revolution. The Browns are winners. The Browns will always be greater than a crappy Revolution. I will make sure that Travis Roberts joins the names of the people who have held the belt for at least a month. Sadly, that includes my name. That’s the past though. This is the present. I will be taking GIW’s future into my hands when I stop the Revolution. The fans are probably asking what can we do to stop them. It’s not what can the Browns do for you.
Big B and Brandon: It’s what can’t the Browns do for you.
(Scene fades to BROWN)
(The camera cuts to Brandon and Big B Brown standing outside.)
Brandon: Hello GIW fans. I’m Brandon Brown and this is Big B Brown. We are here today to talk about the current problems in the GIW landscape.
Big B: You guys may be wondering to yourselves, why would they do that? Well, we are here to answer those questions and more. Some people are probably wondering why Brandon isn’t going crazy about losing the Battleground. We have that answer.
Brandon: It’s quite simple. I lost fair and square. That was one of the most brutal matches in my life and I lost. It’s that easy. I knew I was screwed when I had to start the match first. Whatever. I don’t get a match of my choosing at Horizons. That doesn’t bother me too much. It would have been nice to have won but I didn’t. Congrats go to Randy Boolzian for winning that hellacious match.
Big B: People are probably also wondering why he isn’t obsessing over not being able to have a Global Heavyweight Championship match.
Brandon: That’s another easy one, Big B. I’m over that. I still want to win back the title but I’m not going to go crazy over it. Being that crazy over a title distracted me from being myself and being a better wrestler. I’m glad you helped me find my way, Big B.
Big B: I had to pull out every trick in the book to help you get back on track. I had to make plenty of phone calls. Did you honestly think you could just waltz right into the Pentagon? It was all a big setup. The whole quest was just so you could find yourself.
Brandon: I did find myself. I’m now back to normal. Well, as normal as I can be. It’s all business from here on. Our fans are probably wondering where we are right now. It turns out we are in front of the GIW Arena.
(Camera shows the GIW Arena.)
Brandon: It’s not a bad looking arena. I have never really looked at it before. That Declan Prescott knows what to do with his money. We’ll talk more about Mr. Prescott later though. Now we must head into the building. Come on, Cameraman. You’re earning your money today.
(The scene changes to Brandon and Big B standing in a GIW hallway.)
Big B: As you can see, this is a pretty nice hallway.
Brandon: Why is this hallway so nice though?
Big B: I have that answer, Brandon. It’s the GIW Global Heavyweight Champion Hall. It’s the hall that honors the wrestlers who have held or are holding the Global Heavyweight Championship.
Brandon: Who knew we could afford this hallway? Anyways, why don’t we take a look at the first champion, Big B? Why it’s Declan Prescott. The man who runs the joint. You know he beat a very awesome wrestler to earn the right to be called the first Global Heavyweight Champion.
Big B: Enlighten the new fans. Who did he beat?
Brandon: Why he beat the man whose picture is next on the wall. He appears to be a pretty good looking guy. Wait a second. That’s me. He beat me to win the title. That’s okay though because I took the title from him the next month.
Big B: To be fair. You didn’t actually pin him.
Brandon: He was in the match though. I don’t recall what he was doing but I’m pretty sure he was there. It doesn’t matter. I beat him the next month in a last man standing match.
Big B: Very true. What about this next guy on the wall?
Brandon: The next guy on the wall is only there because he had a lot of help. Who did he have at the ring to help beat me? Savage? What ever happened to Savage?
Big B: The better question is what ever happened to Lord Deathman?
Brandon: I have no idea. He just disappeared. Maybe he couldn’t accept the fact that my picture is on the wall again right after his. Two great looking pictures of me all in one hallway.
Big B: Actually, your eyes are closed in the second one.
Brandon: It had a pretty big flash. That’s not the point though. After my awesomeness on this wall, we get Komosube. I have a lot of respect for this guy. He beat me fair and square. Hell, he kicked my ass. I know I was going through some emotional troubles at the time but I should have tried harder. I lost though.
Big B: I beat Komosube twice.
Brandon: You love to brag about that. Finally, we come across our new Global Heavyweight Champion. Yes, he already has a picture up. We work quickly here a GIW. The man is Travis Roberts.
Big B: Travis Roberts is no joke. The man has beaten you before.
Brandon: Not a match I like to remember.
Big B: Yeah, I know. People are already questioning Travis’s reign though. He unfairly beat Komosube. We all know he had help from Declan Prescott. Those two are on a roll right now.
Brandon: Yes, they are. We will talk much more about those two clowns later. We must move forward though. Cameraman, let’s go.
(The scene shifts to inside the GIW ring.)
Brandon: Here we are standing in the GIW ring. We both have fought some tough matches inside this ring. I’ve fought Last Man Standing Matches, Stretcher Matches, Battleground Matches, and Table matches. I have had a lot of fun in this ring.
Big B: Do you think we use the same ring for every show?
Brandon: I never really thought about it. We are off track again though. For some reason, the powers that run GIW decided to put me in a Number one contender’s battle royal for a shot at the GIW Global Heavyweight Championship. I’ll assume the winner will face the champ at the next pay per view but they might shock me and have a title match next week on Sentinel.
Big B: That would be cool.
Brandon: It certainly would be interesting. I’m just glad that they keep giving me shots to get back to the top. That shows their faith in me.
Big B: Maybe they just like to see you fail.
Brandon: You may have a good point. You do know that since Infinity, I have main evented every single pay per view. The fans are probably getting tired of me but I don’t care. If they are going to give me title opportunities, then I will take them. I still want to be champion even if there aren’t any belts talking to me.
Big B: I want to be a champion.
Brandon: You’ll get your chance someday. So this match is a battle royal. That means you have to throw your opponent over the top rope and both of their feet must touch the floor. I’ve always been a big fan of battle royals. They always were exciting when I was a kid. Three other men oppose me in this match. They are Alex Kiseragi, Chris Austin, and ‘Diamond’ Jack Severino.
Big B: Monkeys in the back. Put Alex Kiseragi’s face on the titantron.
(Kiseragi’s face appears on the titantron.)
Brandon: There he is. Mr. Alex Kiseragi. One of the most dangerous fighters you will ever know. I got to fight him a bit in that Battleground match. That man can go. It’s a shame he didn’t win. He can be one angry fire breathing dragon that kicks very hard. If I didn’t like myself so much, then I would want this guy to win. He won’t though because I’m in the match. I’ll wait to throw him out last though.
Big B: That’s very kind of you.
Brandon: It’s my good deed of the week.
Big B: Monkeys, show us Chris Austin.
(Chris Austin’s face appears on the titantron.)
Brandon: It’s my favorite person in the whole world. It’s Chris Austin. I actually used to really like this guy. Now, I can’t really stand him. He just gets on my nerves. I can’t stand to watch him wrestle. I’ll probably throw him out first since I like him the least.
Big B: Wow, what turned you against him?
Brandon: He said some hurtful words. They were probably true but I don’t care. I don’t like him. I’d kick his ass in a hardcore match. He’d go crying home to his mommy after having a match with me.
Big B: You seem very confident. Who cares. Monkeys, show us Jack Severino.
(Jack’s face appears on the titantron.)
Brandon: No, don’t show him. Show Gabrielle instead.
(Jack’s face disappears and Gabrielle in a very revealing photo appears on the titantron.)
Brandon: The Monkeys have outdone themselves on this one.
Big B: That picture is the breast around. I mean best around.
Brandon: Sadly, we have to talk about Jack instead. I tell you what. Jack, if you bring Gabrielle down to ring side with you, then I will keep you until the end of the match. That way I have more time to enjoy her.
Big B: I thought you said that you would take Kiseragi to the end.
Brandon: Well, tell Kiseragi to find a girlfriend. Only if he does that, then I will take him to the end with me. It doesn’t really matter. The match won’t last long. I will probably have thrown them all over the top rope before the match has past a minute. I’m serious about that. I’m that damn awesome.
Big B: You are pretty damn awesome. Not as good as me in the ring, but you are probably the second best in the world.
Brandon: Yeah, you are probably right. How many titles have you won again?
Big B: Over hundreds.
Brandon: How many wrestling titles have you won?
Big B: Zero.
Brandon: That’s what I thought. Well, I have said enough about my dimwitted opponents for this week. We all know that I will win and that I will face the champion. It’s a given. Why don’t we talk about that champion? Cameraman, we need to move again.
(The scene changes to the front door to the GIW Arena.)
Brandon: We are now standing by the front door of the GIW Arena. This is where all the loyal GIW fans storm in to see their favorite GIW stars. I’m their favorite by the way. Not the point though. There are two statues standing to my right and my left. Cameraman, show them the statues.
(The Cameraman moves his camera to show a statue of Declan Prescott and another statue of Travis Roberts.)
Big B: When did we get those?
Brandon: I’m not really sure. You know what it shows though? It shows how big of egomaniacs these guys are.
Big B: You have a statue of yourself in your house.
Brandon: That’s totally different though. Stop changing the subject. Roberts and Prescott for months have been ruining GIW. I never really cared to do anything about it. I was too busy worried about that damn belt. My mind is clear now though. I now see the cancer we have in GIW. I must put in end to their evil ways. Did you see what they did to Komosube? They stole his title. They cheated him out of the match. Fuck, they cheated me out of the belt at In Your Hands. Plus, I have never gotten revenge for that attack that Prescott did to my after my stretcher match at Guerrilla Warfare. I owe him an asskicking.
Big B: Can we stop them though? They run this company.
Brandon: Where there is a will, there is a way. Normally when I go into these number one contender’s matches, I do it because I want the belt. The main reason I want to win this match is so that I can fight Travis Roberts. I must take the belt off of him. The Revolution is no good. They think they are benefiting GIW. They are wrong. They are going to run the company into the ground.
Big B: You are absolutely correct.
Brandon: We can’t allow this cancer to spread anymore. There will be no more crazy adventures and quests from me. That was all a waste of time. I’m now focused on stopping the Revolution. No more run ins with Nicholas Cage. I’m more serious than ever now. I will win the match at Sentinel. I will then face Travis Roberts and I will put an end to the Revolution. The Browns are winners. The Browns will always be greater than a crappy Revolution. I will make sure that Travis Roberts joins the names of the people who have held the belt for at least a month. Sadly, that includes my name. That’s the past though. This is the present. I will be taking GIW’s future into my hands when I stop the Revolution. The fans are probably asking what can we do to stop them. It’s not what can the Browns do for you.
Big B and Brandon: It’s what can’t the Browns do for you.
(Scene fades to BROWN)